Likkutei Torah Sos Tosis #5: Stripped from Everything, You Discover the Divine Indestructible Core

Okay, good morning everybody. Thank you for coming. So, we'll continue the mimemer so [Music] tosses. You could sit closer today if you want. You could sit in Misra. He could sit in Misra. Okay. Gavaldic. So we're in. Yeah. Page 39, the second column close to the bottom in the Hebrew. It's column two. One, two, three, four, five, six. Six lines from the bottom. Okay, whoever wants to hear a summation of the mimer till now could listen to class number one, class number two, class number three, and class number four. And that's the end of the summation. And now we're going to continue Yeah. Kahu. And yeah, that's a Guinness book of world. This is the world record for a short summation by uh Y Jacobson. So now we'll continue. Yeah. When you say that everything is there, right? Okay. One, two, three, four, five, six, six, six lines from the bottom. The the the line starts and we're holding up the words. Okay. So after the whole explanation of then when the sorry when the process is initiated by the woman the child is a zer a when the process is initiated by the man she gives birth to a female and the whole m came to explain this what this means in a hashem as a metaphor or as a mirror of the higher spiritual reality like everything in kazal that a statement is not just a statement about biology or law that too but it's a statement it begins with the internal spiritual process and then it manifests itself also in the physical biological process that's one of the in all of ta begins on the higher plane and then it evolves into the lower plane. It doesn't begin on the lower plane. It begins on the higher plane and then it comes down. So after he explained the whole is the Jew and when she's meaning when this first I really open myself up as we say we crack ourselves open to be able to experience the longing that everybody really has. It's innate but I have to be able to crack it open develop it cultivate it. So then zak then the gift is the gift that comes from above is ana which is defined as the of zakar in the sense that it's merely what he called the that one in which he's he's he or she it's not it's it's remember it's he or she because we're talking about the spiritual aspect that includes every Jew it's not just when we say here zakar it's referring to uh the type of love that it's a type of love in which even if there's no eye to experience and exist over there still this is what I crave because it's the ultimate ultimate truth and therefore it's truly the ultimate fulfillment the ultimate fulfillment is this type of love as explained at length this love versus is when it begins with the ish when begins with hashem so there's also a birth which means it also brings to have a birth you always need the masculine and the feminine together no baby is born without that you need the contribution of both you need the partnership of both that's how it works it works even in the world of botany the male and the female and the world of the animals and the world of everywhere the world the world of reptiles and fish and insects and birds and and mammals and humans and the whole world is based on zaka it's based on male and female And as a result of that, you always need that combination. The question is what comes first? So if it begins with the isha and then hashem responds to that, it's a different type of response because it came after the openness of the person. So then the result is if it's also creates a response in in her. She's not completely passive but the result is as he explained this was the main uh the main the main. So now he he adds when is in this in this space of ish she's called an this is what it means akara could usually is translated as an infertile infertile woman a barren woman who can't have a child like it says about sad and say that it means she didn't even have the potential for it. She didn't even have the the womb says on a deeper level doesn't only mean there's no child. It could be there is a child but it's not her. That's what he says. Even though she's you just said that she gives birth to one still called like she didn't give birth. Why? Because in a hashem what it means is that even this birth this emergence of love didn't come because of her because of the Jew because of the person because of her own presence and initiative and identity what we call the arousal from below. It came about because there was an first there was an arousal from above of that's how it came. Huh? No. If it comes so then it's she owns it. She earned it. there was that then brought the but here because it was it means that the love that she experiences did not come from from the per did not come from the per I'm saying her I don't we're talking about her as the Jewish as the Jewish people but the cause of love is not coming from the person himself or herself so then he says it's not called on your it's not your name is not associated with it so to you know there's herself who is she she's an just like in life sometimes you'll say you know I don't mean exactly to compare you know you have earned money and you have inherited money it's a different reality right it's a difference you huh it's initiation the initiation who who you know if it's if it's the fact that I was given a gift I may have in my bank account enormous enormous amounts of money it's not my money and there's a There's a difference how you treat it. You know, you have people who who made a who who have made a lot a lot of money, but it came through sweat and work and they had to they had to selfade self-made and they had to learn a lot in the process. It comes with a lot of experience and failure and loss, you know, and then you have, you know, what's called, you know, uh Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're called trust fund babies. the money they have but it's not theirs and even when it's theirs it's not theirs the way they look at it the way they treat it it didn't come with they didn't pay the price they didn't pay the price for it the Gmorra speaks in of there's two types of limit there's a that becomes yours it becomes yours it's a different what this person has it this person has it but it's a different type of owning something. When somebody really worked for something and had to crack themselves open, now when it's given to them, it's theirs. There's a It's appreciated and it's internalized in a different way. They own it. It's mine. It's really mine. It's not It didn't just end up in my lap. Yeah. It's not It's called It's not bread of shame. There's a mitzi a very interesting mission that I think that that um if um if somebody's maf pis somebody deposits uh fruits by me so uh so you know after a while the fruits and especially in those days it becomes fashim it becomes um yeah rotten. So one would be the person should just sell the whole thing and um and uh and give the guy the money. So the explains over there, no, you don't do that. A person would rather one, let's let's say a pound, one pound of his own pis of his tree that he planted and he took care of and he harvested more than nine times the amount that comes from. It's a different It's a different Indian. I This is one and this is nine, but it's yours. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. I would make sense. Fruits. It's fruits. What do you you It's fruits that you eat. Here you have nine cob. Here you have one cabb. It's a joke, right? Here you have $1. Here you have $9. Here you have $1,000. You have n $9,000. I mean, come on. But it's kavaloy. It's a different. It's a different experience. You're eating something. We don't understand this because we just go to the store and we buy everything. You know, you're eating an egg that your chicken laid. You're eating a fruit that you picked off, you know, your own god. It's a different experience. It's a relationship. You not eating a fruit. It's it's it's it's the based on this look it says in Shabas that when the convert came to when the non-Jew came to Hill so hill told him that the whole he wanted to learn the whole on one leg so the whole is what you dislike to be done to you don't do to your friend and everything else is commentary now go study the commentary but the whole is six words ma What you dislike to be done to you don't do to your friend. That's the whole rashi says why is that the whole there are many mitzvah about treating somebody else like you treat yourself right and don't curse what all the mitzvah you're not let to steal you're not allowed you're not allowed to deny somebody's wage etc etc this I don't want somebody to do to me but most of the mitzvah what does or shabasip or mat What does it have to do with? So one of the is that refers to Hashem your friend refers to Hashem. The says don't abandon your friend and the friend of your father refers to the Hashem. So what you dislike to be done to you don't do to your friend is referring to Hashem. That's what says in one of the one of the two. So, so who's is God? He says when Hashem gives you something, it's nine, but you want your even more than the come from that come from. Why? The answer is this is because that's has a relationship with you and the is because it's a different type of connection. It's a different type of experience. It's really yours. So here is what he's saying in a hashem. You have two people. They both they both gave birth to love. One is called ankara and one is not called an akara. Why? She's not anem there's a baby here. Right? But the is because I didn't create it through my own efforts. It fell so to speak. It was it was given to me. So even after I have it, it's not called mine. I have it but it's not mine. Who am I? I'm I'm still I'm I'm still not it didn't change me on the same level. So when you speak about which is the difficulty in generating that child which is a metaphor for emotion for love. So when it's where we said then it's called it's called hers when it's even though thrilled and excited the isha as we said before that even when it starts with to be it's something in her and there is a birth because there's that creates this but nonetheless it creates the it creates the smaller love where I'm looking for God to give me the meaning to quench my thirst which is an amazing but it's not the of the flame being subsumed in the torch as explained at length previously in the m so he says this is what a means that it's not it's not you understand everybody understands and this we say in the so The aar shall rejoice when her children and precisely it says ban bon means her sons when her sons come together. So you asked in the beginning of the m if she's an akara where's the ban now? She used to be an akara. Why are you calling her now an akaraashem? She's a mother of 14 kids or of one child a former an ex aakara. They used to think she's an akar. She's not an akara. After s hadk she's not an after had she wasn't an akara anymore. after she wasn't an Akar. She used to be. You're calling her an Akara like she's now anal here doesn't mean she doesn't have a child. She does, but it's not attributed to her. Yeah. So to speak, it's not it's not it doesn't belong to me. It doesn't belong to you because the came from and it's a different level. It's a different type of relationship like explained. Yes. And what we learned yesterday previously that when it's your when I hollow out my heart to find my longing I put in that work that deep deep emotional spiritual psychological work of a hashem then I'm a different kay to receive from above then I can experience the I could experience the love of hashem in such a limitless way that it takes the person into a different place. That's why it gives me the of beyond you alone. I'm capable of experiencing that because remember as we said till you don't experience the depth of infinite love I can't surrender everything. You can't it it's too dangerous and it doesn't even make sense. Only when you experience that type of love as much as you think you love him the love is so infinite is so beyond then you want to surrender everything it's not done with is not surrender it's done with with but for that I have to be able to experience the limitless limitless love and that only came because when it's and I was busy doing something else as they say life is happening while you're busy doing something else. So even though it brought me there but I can only experience the of that love. That's what I'm capable at the moment and then the is going to be the in which I realize the beauty of it the meaning of it the power of it. So she's still called is called an because the is not called it's not it's not really mine on this comes the and this is the one second if is one of so where did we get over here if this whole if this whole idea is right it's your art says this is we turn the page 40 even when she's in a state [Music] of even though we say she's an because The arousal from above came first to trigger and arouse the arousal from below. Nonetheless, she's going to rejoice. Ben is a son. Bas is a daughter. One second. But you gave a whole that it doesn't work that way. How can that be? He adds one word. That's what is. That's what joy is. Because there's so here the whole equation of the ma changes everything is transformed all the rules are thrown out the window. Oh everything we said yeah als true true authentic here there's a special brah at this to this couple to every couple which is a reflection of the ultimate couple of the cosmic couple hashem and the Jewish people the ish and the isha on a cosmic level which is why we say is because every is essentially a mirror and a reflection and a continuum of the ultimate like it says innness at the end And the whole is that metaphor, right? The whole is essentially the and the yin and the yan and the closeness and the distance and the separation and the tension and the need to create trust and love and all of that. So may that every which is a mirror of that a physical incarnation a physical manifestation of this relationship we say even as she watches her sons coming coming together which means she's experiencing the how it was you called her the answer is One word. The joy of the mitzvah allows for this to materialize to be experienced. Here the equation changes. Even though it was meaning the flow began from Hashem. Nonetheless, the birth and the love that emerges is the type of love which we call zonal not where I want to hold on to my identity to hold on to the yesesh but rather the one where I could surrender everything because it does I don't need to be there. I'm not gonna make the tulle on because of my own spiritual bliss. What what does this what does this mean? What does So now comes this this next what of I forgot to announce the dedication. So I just want to I want to uh and it's going to bring simka So today's class is dedicated in honor of our dear friend Tommer Wine Garden and his birthday. Happy birthday Tom. Dedicated by his loving wife and family. Wishing you a happy birthday [Laughter] with Tom does a lot of our social media. So I'm very grateful to him. He tries to spread the light and does it well. So we wish you a very happy birthday and your personal matters and all of your endeavors for many long happy and healthy years. that she wasn't actively involved. She didn't even want it. She was like Jewish people like interesting. That's that's that's could be another level, I guess. Yeah. I guess on some level like sometimes you have a person who gets slept into something and doesn't even want it. You're saying that she didn't even want it. It just like ended up with it. Yeah. I guess that's another that's [Music] that's like when you're uh you're saying not only not only you didn't work for it, you actually didn't even want it. You had to be like slept in like it was forced upon you and now like you end up Yeah. It's like the Jew who becomes, you know, a Jew because of anti-semitism. Like I didn't choose this. like I tried to far I tried to run far away and someone else pushed me into it. So you're saying there's the type of love that's created not only without you working for it, without you ever wanting it. Yeah. Okay. Very good. Yeah. That's I think another level of it. Yeah. Trust baby. Yeah. The trust fund baby who never wanted the money, right? Never wanted the work. Never wanted the company. Huh. They didn't want the relationship, right? They don't want what it comes with. They want the money without the father. Yeah. Or the or the zeda. And here you are. Here you are and this is what you have. Deal with it. Deal with it. It's not so simple. So many ways there's still a disconnection, right? That's there's still a disconnection. Shows you at some point in retrospect. It's not really something. Uh so that's where the comes in. That's where the comes in. Let's see. The says this is in the famous rebuke the section of so he speaks about all of the penalties and the punishments and the warnings and then he says in lie instead because in lie of the fact that you did not serve your god with joy and goodness of heart gladness of heart which joy and with an open good with a gladness with a heart literally it means from a place of so much abundance means a lot and means everything like when you had prosperity and abundance and and so much blessing and gifts from that space you did not serve your god with joy instead you end up worshiping vada becoming subservient and enslaved to your enemy. Yeah, this is the this is what the P says literally is going to touch the whole on a deeper what's what's not literally it's like because you didn't serve Hashem with joy so therefore you're ending up in a place where you don't even have what to be thankful for because you're serving your enemies he explains it also the whole internally emotionally psychologically as usual it sounds Like when you read the PK literally, he doesn't say you didn't serve God. You served God. You didn't serve God. You abandoned God. You you went into like the say you went into immorality. You went into harlotry. You sub they always use the of constantly, right? But basically you were disloyal. You betrayed everything. You spit in the face of someone who gave you everything you have. You went somewhere else. Fine. Go find your masle uh with these people. Right. The noi always the naveim always talking about you know you love these statues so much. You love these goddesses so much of the Bal and fine you know go taste it go taste life over there simply she wasn't happy. Yeah, the vert here is not that it doesn't say and because of that this doesn't make sense. Okay. So you were little you were fine because of that and you see it in the he said no there was the was not there that sense of deep deep inner joy and because of that he says that doesn't make sense. What's the idea? It's a very very powerful very very powerful question you know because because we all know I could be in a relationship I could be in a connection the sim is missing so okay the s is missing fine so I need an upgrade in my mood okay but but the basics are there you know the is being fulfilled it says you have to be in a good mood all day right huh We're doing the music after the not the music by the music by the you could put a speaker. So what's the and because of and even is an important thing. So if it's missing something fundamental is missing but you see the result here is you're going to end up by by your enemy says a whole beard the says famous says says there's no human being there's no sadic there's no there's no righteous saddic on earth who only does good. In other words, part of life, part of the package is we make mistakes. Welcome to the club. You know, you could be vulnerable because that's the nature. It's not because you're a bad person because you're horrible. Ain't in other words, it's it's it comes with the territory. Just like to be alive, you live in time and space and you have a body, not because you're a bad person. The good things with the is huh Yeah, they have in the back Mario Makimus. It's very nice. Every every every mimemer has in the back makus to all any pik or kazal or gammoru anything mentioned they man rabbi made all these makas in the back took a lot a lot of pages without much before much before 70s 80s hh no no not a beer just uh uh just uh just the mar makima sometimes he'll give a little reference from another mime I'm just want to look it up where the pusk Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Ecclesiastes 7 verse 20. Now obviously could mean different things. The word means sin. But really the word in Hebrew doesn't mean sin. It means to miss the mark. Right? It says about schol archer like he never missed the target. Because that's what sin really means. Sin doesn't necessarily mean I'm violating. I'm a sin. It could mean also that, but really it means you're missing the mark. You know, in life, you got to hit the target. You keep on you keep on missing the mark. You you're missing your target. It says also in the story of David is going to kill. We're going to be missing. we're not going to have a place in this world. So that's really what the word means. So when you say it can mean on different levels, but the point is that a journey in life is a journey that's fraught with failure, with stumbling blocks, with avoid mistakes on so many different levels. The spectrum is very very it's a big spectrum. But it gets to you something about life. It's inherent to the story of life. So he says and because of this there's also the the result of this the consequences of this the penalties for this The power and intensity of this it arouses a joy above. It arouses a joy everywhere in in in the entire cosmos and that always obliterates dinim. Dinim is harsh, discipline, judgments, severity from the word, you know, judgment, verdict that are defined by severity. Why? As the PK says, in the presence of the luminescence, the light of the face of the king over there, there there's life. In other words, whenever there's a state of there's a flow of life, there's a flow of love, there's a flow of energy. Proverbs chapter 16 meaning in the light in the luminescence of shining from the face of the king over there there's there's life. So when is so everything brightens up you know when you have a cloudy day and a rainy day and then the sun comes out. It's a different vibe. It's a different energy. Spiritually, when there's a sim that comes from the person, it it triggers a sim. It arouses a sim like has a ripple effect on every level. Even in the highest levels, everything is changed. The whole mahalik is changed. It's like a That's what sim is. It's contagious. Yeah. Yeah. What do they say? Colds. Colds. You don't A cold is not taught. It's caught. Yeah. It's intended. It's entangled. Exactly. It's entangled. Yeah. Since every person is entangled with the whole world and entangled with the source of all the worlds like he often brings from the Yakov is a rope and the idea of a rope is that it's connected string literally a string. Very good. string theory. String theory, the vibrations and you vibrate, right? You you you pull or you sway, you you have an effect on one part of the even on the lowest lowest part, it's a string. So it has a ripple effect on every single part of the rope. Even on the highest highest rope, even though you're talking about, so to speak, thousands of miles and spirit I'm talking spiritually thousands of miles and more. So I just I just I just shook the rope on the bottom. What's the big deal? No, no, no, no. It's a rope. If you don't see that it's a string, then you're right. What? I'm just a little guy, you know, drinking my coffee, worrying about my own business, checking my texts. But if you understand, you understand the interconnectedness of the entire universe and the interconnectedness of the entire universe to the source of the universe, right? It's all a manifestation of oneness as we always talk about. So yeah, you are really the interlacing link between heaven and earth. That's what means. You are the interlacing link. You're that string. The string theory begins with you. And it's not a theory. So that that sensation, that emotion, that change in the person's own identity, even a thought, a word, a behavior, an attitude, literally has a ripple effect all the way up to the source and everywhere. The question is how sensitive a person is to this, how conscious I am of it, you know, how much I could see it. That depends always on on simply what type of eyes I have, you know, how microscopic my eyes are, how sensitive my eyes are, what are the tools I'm using, you know, if I'm sleeping, if I'm sober, if I'm awake, if I'm uh etc. That that's that depends on where the person is. The more sensitive the person is, the more open their eyes are, the more they can the more can they can see these things. But that's the idea of the person and if you didn't serve. In other words, what the P is saying here is he's not focusing on the fact that everybody is is is is essentially, you know, doing sins in this world. The focus is the idea that this world yeah we we we we make mistakes we fail we fall and therefore when you say the idea is as follows that there is an element that's missing in a person's there is a in every single person so what is he talking about the idea is that the sim changes everything sim changes the variables and therefore when there's no simka So then we're back to the status quo that there's just the mistake there's just the sin and therefore here too this here too is exactly the same we spoke about and all the how it works and fine until you don't speak about once you speak about now you have to revisit reality because simka really mixes up everything in a very good way. It breaks the rules. It changes the dynamics. But with everything is different. You made a bunch of mistakes. I got it. You have a Okay, I get it. But is everything everything is different with [Laughter] to means that you sometimes miss but yet you have to leave a simple here too everything we explain everything we explain there's a difference between which is the arousal from below which then she gives birth to the to the male. The arousal from above above in which he gives birth only. This is only this is only when the light of is flowing down in the path and the order and the structure of what we call all the levels of comes from the wordal which is a chain of devolution or the chain of evolution from the higher to the lower from the spiritual to the lower spiritual lower spiritual all the way to the physical world. So there's always the flow of the light of the way it cruises the way it vibrates through the rope through the string all the way till it comes down to our world that's called is an order like we speak about and that's the idea of and it's a structure and it's a very very intricate cosmic structure that doesn't begin only on our world it begins in the highest highest spiritual frequencies and then is manifested in our world that's called So when the flight is flowing through there's an order there's a shall this is based on the means is like the measuring stick like the spiritual divine yard stick that measures every world how much light it can receive. Right? This is the squirrel of a brain and this is a squirrel of a hyena. This is the brain of a hyena. This is the brain of a bird. This is the brain of a lionist. This is the brain of an elephant. This is the brain of a fox and this is the brain of a human being and it's in every human being. There's a kava it's like a measuring stick just like in real estate the kavida you know you got to measure how many itches you have how many feet you have. So there's a kavida for every single world and every single living organism in that world spiritual or physical what it chemistry should be like in order for it to be able to facilitate the light that needs to be channeled through it and fulfill its purpose. It's called the the utterance that came from this from this this line which measures this is the if the woman initiates the process the generation is it's an expression of means the generation is in a state of meaning it's worthy you're ready for it you're open there's an arousal from below. So the is the system is then there will be a result. What's the result? The result is will come from a much deeper place of the giver. Until the result of the love is the level of love that we spoke about the infinite versus is that I want you alone. I want the essence. How can that happen? Because since the person aroused the entire relationship so they're open to the full presence of the one they love of the one they're connected to and they could feel the pinus of the gaze of God and when you feel the pinus of that gaze the pimus of the hashbah as he said earlier the pimius of comes Then then you're moved to say I don't want your ganed. I don't want your I want you. When I when a person can experience the infinity of the love, then they're moved to surrender everything. Because until I don't surrender everything, I I I could just feel the frustration of being out of sync, of being in such an impoverished space. Ah, you're giving me Haba, you're giving me Ganaden, but that's gavaldic when you're comparing it to Haza, you know, you're comparing it to toxic potato chips. Okay, but essentially it's just one. It's it's like a tip. You're in front of the yamokay and you're satisfied with one little drop. So it's such a deep awareness and such a deep feeling that the self the sense says I want I just want you the essence. But for that to be real and authentic this can't be forced. You can't force to somebody to say I want only you. That entire experience must come from the deepest deepest recesses of your soul because the moment you're telling me what to say, you know, it's it's not even the right. It's just it's a joke. But certainly, if I want you, it's from the deepest eye because you you're putting everything on the you're literally putting everything on the line. you could only put everything on the line when you feel that that that if you don't put everything on the line, it's a that that anything besides this is going to be uh such a inadequate exchange for what you have. It's going to be such a uh such an impoverished life, such an impoverished identity. The only way a person could feel that is genuinely if they can experience themselves the way God experiences them. And then there's meaning [Music] It may be hard for you to believe what I'm going to say, but that's this is the ems. If a person would feel for one second, yeah, the love that Hashem has to him or to her and experience it the way God experiences it. Huh? A person would experience for one moment that level the self the way Hashem experiences them, the way Hashem sees them. Oh, so that's what he says. So when is so then the husband can give his deepest truth. So the a gives his pimus. Yeah. When somebody's a kayali for it when when when the woman says all I want is you. So he'll say and all I wanted ever was you. And when she experiences that you so then it's and even identity becomes a contradiction to that. it becomes a distraction of that. But all of this is so energetic, it's so deep, it's so authentic that it's never about words or emulation. It's not about an experience you could, you know, hang up on the wall, you know, like you know, you know what I mean? It's not it's not a slogan. The says whenever was invest this is what he used to say it came out but what what he was describing was the DNA of the soul when there's no blockage and everything is in complete synchronization with reality you can experience the coherence of everything now I don't want you to think why are we learning about this. I I don't even know what you're talking about. He's teaching this because he wants us to know that this is this is where it is. The question is how much I'm embodying, how much I can access, but this is where the reality is. So that's what it means for for for a person to be able to experience this reality. If I'm doing something else and then God pulls me in, I'm only capable of experiencing what I'm capable of experiencing that level which is only the not the you understand if it's so you really hollow it out. You did all the work. I mean as much as you can and you're completely open. Yeah. Now, you have to realize when we speak about this, you know, down here with a man and a woman, you can have a woman who's completely open, but the man is traumatized. The man is out for lunch. He's distracted. You know, he's on his phone. You know, I know a couple that after the wedding, they came home and she went on Facebook. Right after the came home and she went on Facebook and he's like, she's like, "Yeah, no." I want to tell my [Music] friends. Very good. Oh, that's you know says yeah in case you have to go to bed in the next morning. So I just realized yeah the gamar means she goes on Facebook or he goes on Facebook but I'm just giving an example at the night of the wedding right. They're not married anymore. I mean it was it was a disaster from day one. But my point is I'm trying to bring out that you have a relationship where somebody's open but the other person is not there. They're out for lunch. May not be their fault. Their their only way of living is through distracting themselves. They that's how they remain in a lonely place. They will not let anybody come out of that. But to recognize that as a very very serious disorder, extremely serious disorder without judgment but it's a disorder. When you was your wife, you could give one away. Yeah. Not only the only way you'll put away your phone when you're with your wife is if you know how to put away your phone when you're with yourself. If you don't know how to put away your phone when with yourself, you'll never be able to put it away. Not for your wife, not for your kids. Huh? Yeah. Because if there's no selfrespect, there's no relationship with anybody. I don't know how to be any I can't be present. If when said if he would have felt a response, God says, "I'm busy. Come back in 5 minutes. We'll make an appointment. You could you can't have that vacus." Not because I don't want to. I don't have who to attach to. And even if you're here physically, but if you're not here on the same level that I'm here, I don't who am I attaching to? It's like I'm I'm I'm I'm throw, you know, I'm throwing a ball, but there's nobody there to receive it. And even if they're there to receive it, but they can only receive it with a half a heart and a half a hand, I can't really attach. So this is the ultimate vulnerability on both on both parts. Is very very vulnerable. I want you Like you said in the beginning of the mime spiritually that's what is very vulnerable. It says I'm not investing in any other stock. I'm not putting my eggs in 20 baskets like we all [Laughter] do. I'm not running. I want you. So now by the definition of God says of course that's what I was made. The whole world was created for this relationship. This is it. This is it. This language is so foreign to us because the trauma of gullos has put into our DNA that there's a real real negative relationship with God. Like at best you survive. Talk about bliss. Like what are you taking? You're on an acid trip or something? Which world are you living in? Which fantasy? Which fantasy world are you living in? Sober up and come back to real life. And we have to understand this. And we hold on to these definitions and to these stories and for very very good reason. So Alba is teaching here that when we can have the courage to really really be able to open ourselves up to our infinity to our soul to the which is opens up a space where the person can experience even a glimmer of the and what does that look like? It looks like I want you. But when imagine God says I want you. It's not like I'm when God says I want you. That means infinity says I want you. Do you know how much love and joy and bliss there is in that? How do you even survive that? The only way to survive that is if you surrender everything to it and then you could survive it. If not the pain is too much. It's going to tear you apart. In other words, if I want to remain in my ego, even my spiritual ego and hold on to that one is going to have to give. Either I detach. Either I detach from you or I surrender that all or I'm a tortured soul. You saw too much. You're feeling too much. Your heart has to expand to a place of infinity. How surrender is not a a duty? If not, it's what else? This is it. I just want the I don't want the tuffle. I don't want I want you understand a little bit or no? I don't understand how someone from Holocaust survivor. Yeah, I get it. Surrender. It's very Listen, somebody who went through crazy crazy pain. It's uh it's it's it's it's it's a very tall order. On the other hand, what you see, and you see it with some of the hostages, you see that sometimes when people go through insanity, they're given something happens inside of them that they develop a type of relationship with Hashem that is inexplicable and unfathomable and incomprehensible. And it's not coming from a place of rationality that you gave me a good life, so I love you. It's the opposite. Everything was done to take away everything from them and because of that sometimes and to say really when I lose everything and I don't have anything left you know when we have a little bit of blessings in life even if we have challenges in life we hold on to that you have a home you have a car maybe you have a couple of dollars if you don't have a couple of dollars you have bread in the pantry you have heat you have a We hold on to that. We we hold on to the security that we have. And what when you have what what happens when you have nothing when everything is taken mish but I mean and I don't mean that somebody should experience that but emotionally there are people that experience that. I may have a house I may have a bed which is amazing thing to have a bed. Not everybody has a bed. The hostages don't have a bed and they don't have food. They don't have anything you know. We have a bed. We have food. I'm drinking a coffee. We're sitting at a table. When a person mish has [Music] nothing really nothing, what do they have? What do they have? So, two things can happen. They're stripped from everything. Like Victor Frankle said that if Freud was an Awitz, he would have to change his theory. That's what the Victor Frankle said. He was a student of Freud, both Jewish. He said if Freud was in Awitz like I was, he would be forced to change his theory. It didn't hold true. Freud did not hold true to what happened in Awitz. Why? Victor Frankl wrote that he was in Awitz I think for two years. I mean he was there for a long time. I mean Awitz one day was like a thousand years but no very few people were in Awitz for more than a few months. Most people died were killed right away and after a few months it was uh but he was there I think a very long time I met also another Jew who was there for two years Katnik dinar he wrote a lot of books kett was also there for two years he told me so Victor Frankl said that Freud in Awitz's theories wouldn't hold up like he it wouldn't hold up against that reality he didn't know what a human being is he says I saw what human beings [Music] Because Freud Freud tined that at the deepest deepest core we're just crazy monkeys. You're a crazy monkey and we have all these layers and blockages that protect us to make believe we're civil and normal and moral which is totally refuted even. Yeah, it's completely refuted. Freud really believed that at the core Freud was running away as far as he can from his nephew kiss. His name was Schlma, not Ziggman. His name was Schlma. Frankle was very different. Even though he was his reb, but then he rebelled against him, you know, and they persecuted Frankle. It wasn't a simple thing with him. He had a lot of uh I got some about that. Okay, it's not for now. But the bonuda is why am I saying this? Ah Frankle said everything was stripped away over there. You you we don't even understand what that means. So the hostages now in Gaza everything taken and beyond what beyond what we can imagine. You can't even talk about it. It's so painful and it's we realize how cheap words are. You know we say you don't have anything. What does that mean? You know person lost the keys to their car. They don't have anything. You know everything is taken. Everything. What happens? So either there's a complete emotional and then physical death. It's like this battered animal in the jungle, you know, that has been mold and there's nothing left. And then sometimes you see, and that's what Victor Frankle said. You see the exact opposite. You see that when everything was gone, somehow they found the only thing that the enemy can't destroy, which is Hashem, which is invisible, inexplicable, undefinable, but it's you. It's your core. So in in a in a way you lost everything and then you find the only thing that ever really existed which is God and everything else was just a cover up for that. You see that sometimes in life you see it in life anoid mand. And these are not this not it's not from a place of words. It's it's it's a place of deep deep experience. This is not a muna because he went to a sh and he learned to say certain words. They got nothing of that. No, no lessons and no tutorials and no meditations and no music and no kumits and no fabangans and no no books nothing no sudurim garnished only real reality in its most authentic raw form when everything else was lost. It also sounds like the stories you would tell us about without Yeah. Yeah. And in Tanya chapter 18 proves from this what it means that you have an he says you see it throughout history people who did not dedicate their life to a relationship with God and then at certain moment especially when they were facing the ultimate question of life and death they felt that something emerged in them that they could they didn't even know what it was and yet they couldn't argue with it and it was more powerful than physical life more powerful than holding on to physical life. What do you if you let go of physical life? What do you have? You're dead. What? Like stopping to breathe, stopping to eat. What are you What are you letting go of? Like that's that's that's everything. They knew that that's not everything. That's just a it's a it's a container. It's a beautiful container and we'll do anything to hold on to that container, you know, but they felt that there's something deeper than that. It's it's it's a container. It's an amazing container that God comes into, but it's a container. And when you let go of the container, if I take off my suit, I'm not dying. I'm not afraid to take off my suit. Now, we don't treat our body as what does that mean? So, he says something beautiful. He says, I think he says this mus is afraid. Nobody's going to say, don't take off your jacket cuz you're going to die. Don't take off your shirt cuz you're going to die. Don't take off your undershirt cuz you're going to die. What? It's an undershirt. He says, "For Yakov, you know, the goof was an undershirt. It was a beautiful undershirt and we cherish it." Yeah, you cherish it. Now, what's that mean? Come on. Goof is not an undershirt. It's a body. But it really is. The mo the moment I don't mean an undershirt that you just throw it in the garbage. I mean an undershirt in the sense it's a lavush for the nishama. It's God dressing up in an amazing container. Infinite consciousness having a finite experience through the body. Now, it's incredible. It's not to delegitimize the gof. It's to say that they knew that the gof is not where their life began and ended. And they only discovered that when everything else was lost because till everything else is lost, I hold on to what looks like life including my physicality. That's what says about Rabaka, right? What a when he was killed by the Romans and the he said schma and the student said, "How could you do that?" And he said my whole life every day when I said I was waiting for this moment. Come on. What? You have a wife, you have kids. So what's devart? But this is the idea lived with this consciousness. He lived with it. So you tak sometimes that when a person I know I know somebody very very well You can never compare one story to another story because everybody's story is different. But I know somebody who uh as a child went through a lot a lot of crazy and very very insane stuff in terms of abuse. And the abuse happened from people that he really completely trusted and people that were in the community extremely extremely respected. Which means that the child couldn't even speculate that it was these people because everything in the community was such honorable people that everything all the evidence pointed that it's just his fantasy. And as children we have a mechanism of repressing memories to the point that you don't remember it at all. That's part of the defense mechanisms and part of survival skills. it happened but you erase it from your memory and that way you can hold on to relationships and have some safety and here all the evidence was against it. So his me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me memory didn't even let him imagine that this occurred as a result it threw his life into crazy dysfunctional chaos in terms of sabotaging the self in terms of dysfunctional behavior shutting down completely addictions whatever I'm not going to get detailed and graphic but basically this person experienced such profound developmental trauma complex what's called complex developmental trauma in the very formation of their psyche. There was like nothing left. It was it was a zombie of a person. Functional on the outside but completely like a dead person like a like a whack. I told you like a w in the wax museum. A person made out of wax. artificial intelligence literally brilliant brilliant man but completely artificial because uh complete shutdown would be like you make a like you clone yourself like yas go you know he made yasulum like you make a gom out of it looks like a person but essentially it's not made by the maharal but this was made by abuse this gym was created from abuse and uh what a quite a tragic story. Talk about tragedy. Quite a tragic story. As the person got older, they went they got they went into very very deep emotional healing work with tremendous courage, unbelievable courage. And uh they did it a lot a lot of help and a lot a lot of support. Hashem, Hashem gave this generation healing modalities that are very special and unique and they took up they they seized the moment with a lot of good good support from real people who who don't just go on journeys but know how to help people integrate journeys which is always 70 80% of the work or 60 or 70% of the work. And this person went on this journey for years and they cracked open. They saw they they they you know brought back I don't know everything that they know but a lot a lot. And mainly what it brought back is all the pain that caused them to shut down. This person shared once was something something incredible. He said they were once deep deep in a healing space and the person came to realize I'm now quoting that everything that certain perpetrators who were themselves sick and whatever happened to them is not nega now they stripped me from everything they literally took a soul and literally you know pushet took it away they took away they left a body like a lifeless like a corpse you put it in the morg. That's what they left. It happens to be that the corpse had a mind and had a functioning mind. He wasn't physically dead, but he was dead besides going to the bathroom and having bar hashem a circulatory system which is not a small thing because they were physically alive. But everything else in terms of feeling, emotion, who am I, who am I not? Do I have any nothing stripped from everything? Everything I mean literally imagine a dead body that happens to be walking but everything else is ma pure ma. literally a dead dead person walking in terms of any sense of of of selfrespect any sense of I even the word I they didn't know what that means I don't know if you the tragedy of a person not knowing what the word I means I don't know tell me what it means oh this is what you do so I'll do the same thing it's like almost like you come into a car you just cop literally you copy like a parrot those who don't understand what I'm talking about you're lucky and those who do understand. You're lucky that you have awareness that that you can understand this. So, everybody's lucky. If you don't understand, you're certainly lucky. And if you do understand the fact that you're here and you understand, you're also lucky. And this person said, and by the way, you know what died together with the eye? What died was also their relationship with God. How can you have a relationship with God if you don't exist? Hallelujah. Right. So what's so the way I understand it is at least just what just came into my head is not just physically dead. People who are walking around here deadal they can't praise God. Their whole life is just one deadness just survival. How could you praise God? That's says our job is to heal. It's a good shot. No, dead people can't praise God when you're dead inside. Any this person told me at that moment they felt the pain and it was so it was so painful. It was like literally like a bullet. They could feel the pain of when it happened literally that physical sensation of of of torture physical torture like the the heart broke into a thousand pieces like physically physically. Even though it wasn't physically, it was the pain was physical. And a person told me that in that moment, in that moment, something else also happened. They had this experience. One second. There was an eye that observed all of this. There was an eye that's feeling all of this. If I'm just a broken machine, take a machine. Take your telephone. Take this mic. Break it into a thousand pieces. is what's going to be left? Nothing. It's dead. How 50 years later, 40 years later, 60 years later, suddenly the mic is sitting in a session and tells you about how it was destroyed. There's nothing left. Suddenly the person realized that the fact that there's an eye who remembers, who's observing, who's feeling the pain, who watched it all happen, who's protesting it, who's like why? Why? Why? I suddenly realized that eye nobody destroyed that eye was like the third eye that watched it all. It was like on the wall watching everything, feeling it and now it's talking and then the person said and then that's when I discovered God. Then I realized that the abuser can't kill God. There's no such a thing. So the the mei that's Hashem that's one with Hashem was just always there in there present fully there but fully there and fully not affected fully in its infinite beauty he said that became the most beautiful glorious moment in his life that's what bita looks like only because he had to let go of it because there was nothing else if anything else was working he would have held on to that I'm a good guy I'm a successful guy. I'm handsome. I'm smart. I have a good sense of humor. My wife likes me. My kids like me. My community like whatever it is. Shine. Shine. Huh? And and and and I say this with love. That's the curse of being functional, right? You can hold on to these identities. I hold on to it and I make it and then I I become with my identity. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. On to me. When this person when everything was taken away, you understand? What are you tak left with? What do you have? You have nothing. But there's one thing that is really everything. But to touch that one thing, I have to let go of everything else. Why? Because my connection to everything else is is fake news. It's a connection not to real reality. What a glorious glorious moment. Nobody prays for this. Nobody asks for this etc. But my point is that sometimes in these moments the deepest connection comes out of them then. And of course we're not judging somebody who goes to those moments and is left with nothing. Bessel Vanderulk considers himself an atheist. He's the big guru of trauma and healing and this 50 60 years a Harvard professor. He's from the people that coined the phrase PTSD because of all their work with Vietnamese soldiers who came back from Vietnam. So they coined the term PTSD trauma. It was that that whole um the early 1970s 1970s 1980s. So I once had a I had a few interviews with him. They're online. Of course I disagree with everything he thinks about Israel, whatever. But there he is. It's his own trauma. Him and Gabri Mate, their trauma about Israel. But that's something else. Bessel Vanderulk and Gabra Mate, they're like the big trauma gurus. When it comes to Israel, they're completely off the mark. Completely completely completely uh Gabra Mate, it's his own Jewish trauma probably from from Budapest, whatever. But when it comes to Israel, they're both horrible, spewing complete just lies and blood like they just don't understand. Fine. But Bessel Vanderulk, so he was telling me I was an atheist and it was one of the interviews. So I asked him, I said, "What uh what what from all your years dealing with people with patients and this, you know, tell me tell me, you know, what what do you cherish most? like what did you learn most? And he said something powerful. He said, "I'm in awe when I'm when I meet somebody." And they went through every tragedy and painful agonizing experience in life and yet they have so much courage and resilience and so much goodness and a willingness to heal. I don't know where that comes from because they were broken. They were destroyed. You would just expect them to remain destroyed. You demolish a building, it's demolished. That's it. You want to build another building, you have to find a new but you can't. And I don't know. So I said, "How do you explain that? How do you explain that?" He says, "He's just in awe of it, but there's something there." So I said, "Maybe you're not an atheist. Maybe what you're really saying is that of course that's what he was saying. He just couldn't come to terms with the fact that that's what he was saying." But of course, that's exactly what he was saying. He was saying there's something that's indestructible. you like it or not, call it God, call it a scythe, call it the core of reality. I don't care what you want to call it. Maybe it's better not to call it God. Call it the source, call it the cosmic self, call it the underlying truth. It's actually better than the word God, right? Call it the infinite essence of all reality. That's exactly what Hashem is. So he's calling himself an atheist, but his entire work is dedicated to show that atheism is false. Because if atheism was really true, so you were made up of a machine, bunch of random cells that heaped together to make who you are. Somebody broke them and destroyed them. It's the end. Done. Next. Physically, it's that way. And emotionally, it's that way. You break a table and you don't expect that 52 years later, 60, the table should come and say, "I want to heal." So they'll say, "Well, the table doesn't have living doesn't have your cells. There's something in your cell." I get it. There's something in my cell that wants to heal. But that cell was completely destroyed on every level. Yeah, it's called divine. It's called celamelikim. Yeah, there's something in the cell that wants to heal. There's something in the cell that doesn't surrender to abuse, that doesn't surrender to mediocrity, that feels the pain and doesn't become completely part of it. It's very powerful. That's that that's the key. The light never goes out. That light never goes out. Even though the person for 40, 50, 60, 70 years did not know about it. That only shows how infinite it is. This person's sheared when they realized they're quite older today. When they realized that, it only realized how infinite it is. The fact, where were you for 50 years? Where were you for 60 years? The fact that you could be quiet for 60 years in my system, not say a word, and yet fully present. And the moment I find you, you explode in infinity, it just shows you what it is. What we learned in it can go to the lowest places, to the most concealed places, and it remains intact. It doesn't change because it's that's what looks like. This is a very humbling experience. This is this is the key. Such a person their only place to be is bets. What are you going to hold on to? Nothing else protected you. So this is where life challenges you and stimulates you to surrender everything, everything, everything. And then it becomes an unbelievable gift. And it goes so far that there comes a point in life and it's true with this person that they can look back and as painful and crazy as it sounds, they can be great from a certain perspective, they can they they have a sense of gratefulness for everything they went through. Not because they think that the perpetrators are not sick to their core. That's not the void. I'm not doing a naive and you know smack me on the other cheek and I'm a doormat anyway. Not not from there. From a complete complete place of of of mature recognition of the pain. But it's really seeing it almost from God's perspective. Let me explain to you. If you are subsumed in Hashem, so who was really abused? Hashem was abused. So how does Hashem deal with being abused? That's exactly how you deal with it. That's that that's that's where this B is is real. If you're the drop in the ocean and it's you don't even you're not even what does for four years was struggling with hopefully the last few weeks he's making peace. No, I want to be koshv. I don't need a Nobel Prize, but don't tell me I'm not Kash. I don't need shishi. I don't need I don't need I don't need gal. But give me a little chair somewhere. I could sit in my but don't tell me. But the truth is is the only normal place to be in. It's the only good place to be in. Everything else is the burden of ego. The only place you want to be in when you're really really in touch with me. The moment I have to as long as I have to talk about myself, my self-esteem is as big as fake news. Huh? Yeah. That's why all self-esteem without ble is is is such a vulnerable self-esteem. It's based on the last book that you read in psychology that told you you're a good guy. And then you read another book, boom, no self-esteem. Then you read another book. Oh, now I have a self-esteem. And then you come home, your wife tells you who you are. It's gone. Now you read another book and then the tells you who you are. And then you're dead. There goes your self-esteem. You know what self-esteem looks like? Oh, normal. Normal. That's normal self-esteem. Imagine when that deep is in the ocean and you don't even see it. You don't see it because it's the ocean. Not because it's because it's the ocean. Subsume subsumed in Hashem. It's all because we see Hashem as our enemy. That's the deep tragedy of religion today. We see God as an enemy. Deep deep down. I'm just saying it as is. You could you could call this heresy. I'm just telling you as is. The deepest templates of so many people. God is a real enemy. Yeah. And by the way, that's going to be the depth of the mimer. When you don't serve Hashem with joy, you're going to end up serving your enemy. It could still be God, but God becomes your enemy. You understand? He becomes your enemy. You're serving God, but you think you're serving your enemy. That's what it means. Serving your enemy. And this is so energetic. Like I I can't it's it's even hard for me to talk about it. He doesn't believe that. He doesn't believe it. Fake news. Fake news. You say, "Really? If it's so hard for you to talk about it, so first of all, why aren't you quiet?" And say, "Why you've been talking for two hours now? You sound like my wife. If it's so hard to talk about it, so shut up." Right? It's like the guy who gets up at a sim and he says, "After all the speeches, I have nothing to add." And I'm thinking, "Bakashem, sit down." And suddenly, 45 minutes later, he has plenty to add. Okay. Point well taken. Point well taken. What do they say? What do the kid teenagers say? Shots fired. Yeah. Shots fired. That's like the new slang. Huh. I heard my son tell somebody, "Shots fired." Okay. But I meant don't think that you don't have what it's not I don't have what to say because it's not an Indian of words. We're so busy with words that we forgot what energy is. We we're we're estrange from it. I'm talking about myself first and foremost. You speak and net and either with listening or talking, but it's all with words. This has nothing to do with words. Words are a creation. We learned in the purimer, you know, brius is a much later version of reality. Don't worry, you already put us in the mood where we already closed our eyes and we already meditated. So the truth is but they come out they're a very very condensed version of reality. So when we come to the real enemy when we come to the real enemy what was I saying? Uh what were we talking about? But right before that right before that. Self-esteem. Self-esteem. Thank you. Thank you. We have one guy here who's not high. Okay. No. No. Energetically when you hear the words, I'm hoping that you'll be able to melt and feel the love of the words because when when when the drop goes into the yam when you experience yourself in that space in a very genuine way. So who was abused? Hashem. That's what mean. But that means if Hashem was abused, it means infinity was abused. Which means nothing was abused. It means it went into a crazy experience to be able to bring out sparks, to be able to transform darkness, to be able to bring oneness into places, to be able to become the most empathetic source of light and love. However, however we understand the but it's a completely different experience. You were never damaged. who who nobody could die. Tus you know the Gmorra says in getting that Tus stabbed the paras you know the blood came out. So T said look I killed I murdered Hashem. And you should know people think the Gmorra is funny. Hitler and Himmler and Aman every time they sent a child to the gas chambers you know what they told themselves? We killed God. You could see the sim on their face. you all the essay. What's the sim of of of shooting a baby with her mother? Like what's the sim? What even if it's your enemy? What's the sim? What's the grace of what did you accomplish? You took a bunch of babies and you buried them and you shot them. What was the was in their own mind? We finally killed God. We killed God. And and they they they said they sensed an MS that every year there's a and when you're killing him, you're killing God. The only problem is you can't kill. Sorry. Sorry, Mr. Himmler. Someone also thought that. Yeah, they all thought that. And and they they had a point. They felt the kadusha. They felt the kadusha. They only validated but they what what they understood the kadusha was what evil could understand the kadusha. What can evil understand the kadusha? They can understand that a bullet destroys it. And he heaven knows how much we suffered. This is not taking away the suffering. But the moment this person experienced themselves in that space. So now they look back at their experience. I'm talking about that this person who shared this with me and I don't want to make them sound mishuga. But there's an element of gratitude because that's what it really is. If Hashem is the one who went through it, it's a different experience. That's why was not angry at his brothers, which does not make sense. When you have brothers who sell you into slavery a bit, don't feed them for 20 for a few years. Let them go to China and enjoy the Chinese economy. The Chinese are doing well. Said, "You didn't sell me. God sent me." Come on. Come on. Give me a break. Your brothers stripped you from your tunic, threw you into a pit, sold you into slavery. Come on. They were angry. They wanted to kill you. What's What's Takshhat? Ysef was naive. He wasn't naive. Ysef was a was a was a doormat. He wasn't a doormat. Ysef was yhat is that Ysef experienced a different type of B. He experienced what Ble really means. It's not that you don't feel pain. Of course, you feel pain. God also feels pain. When you say that the was abused, it doesn't mean there's no pain. The also feels pain. God also cries. That's what it looks [Music] like. Your typhus. And then that person knows to hold on to anything else. Even even the spiritual bliss. It's a it's it's it's it's it's a condensed version of reality and you want only the real reality and then ble is the is is the most natural thing in the world. However, it's the work of every day to embody this because there's billions of voices in the brain in my brain that doesn't agree with anything I just said. Well, actually, Mama, the voices are pretty quiet for some strange reason. They were listening to the I guess. Huh? That I don't mind if they have nothing to add. The problem is they usually argue. They may attack later. So, I'll pee. So, so what what what are we getting to here? The nuda. Let's just conclude here. What's what do we get to the I see your is coming true. He didn't want me to finish the mime and I see he was yesterday he said let's we shouldn't finish the so I was like whatever but okay huh okay good Yeah, there's like two levels of shear. There's like the shear and then there's the metar for a while. The shear and the meta shear. Okay, you have to explain everybody what a meta what meta is. They're not Harvard. Not all they're not all Harvard graduates like you. Meta means meta means beyond. There's physics, there's metaphysics. Yeah, there's history. is meta history. So the sh is the meta is a bad word. There was a professor in Israel. His name was Dr. Elza Burkowitz. Yes. He wrote a book about the Holocaust. What is it called? About faith after the Holocaust. Uh very powerful book. Dr. Burkowitz. He was a special man. So he writes over there that very often atheists get very annoyed with people who after the Holocaust preach faith. They say it's so disrespectful to the victims of the Holocaust. When you talk about God when they went through such horrors and they stopped believing in God like it's such dis it's an insult and disgrace. And he said, "Okay, I can understand that, but can you also understand that it's a complete disgrace to say that when there's so many Jews who went through the Holocaust and their faith remained completely intact and maybe even stronger, what an insult and disrespectful to them not to recognize and respect that. So just because you have an agenda of atheism, don't use the Holocaust because it's both ways." There were plenty of people that their amuna was much stronger or at least intact and that's what they held on to. Like could you respect that too? Could you respect that too? So he says over there, I saw one of the lines once here. I read this once. He says that when you when you look at the Jewish people, you have to study them not in the context of history but in the context of meta history. In other words, this history, he says this, he says this is a people of meta history. Meta history means that if you study their story, it doesn't fit in to the context and to the structures of how science and historians understand what history is. So they point to the fact that in history there's something called meta history that's above history and that's where their existence can make sense not in history in meta history very very fascinating so in other words his point is that the Jewish people teach you that there's something called eternity that preceded the universe and transcends the universe even while the universe follows patterns that we can sometimes predict. I mean, not with Trump, you can't predict anything, but uh you know what I mean? The laws of nature, so to speak. So now, what I want to I I I know is coming from the positive, but since we live in I'm I'm bringing the negative as an example. That person that I described to you, why didn't they come out from that healing moment with anger at God? If everything is a why did you put me through such torture? That's what they should have come out with. Doesn't that make more sense? You put me in such torture for who knows how many decades. Fine, I found my soul. You weren't destroyed. But that should be the natural thing. Aam burger the hostages that came out from the tunnels of Gaza. All you should hear from them is intense anger. this god that they're believing in. They're putting on fillin and making kdes and lighting candles and and and baking kala and saying tahillim and some of these hostages became you know unbelievable beacons of faith like a little anger no anger I don't understand your friends were killed I don't have to tell you what happened on October 7th and what these people went through you don't see that in them they don't have emotions they have very deep emotions What's the answer to this question? The answer to this question is if I'm going to try to explain it, I'll be I'm an idiot. When you experience Hashem from Hashem's place, you don't have questions. Not because it makes sense in my mathematical mind, but because a is the source of goodness and bliss and goodness. So yeah, I understand from my perspective, nothing of it makes sense and it's not the script that I would write for people I love. But part of the word infinity means that it doesn't have to make sense. Goodness is not goodness that the New York Times calls goodness or that my limited mind calls goodness. Bliss doesn't just mean that I'm having a cold vanilla ice cream with chocolate on the top and brownie on the bottom. That's bliss. That's one little tiny version of broken bliss that's going to get you depressed in 10 minutes. What does bliss look like? Bliss looks like one thing atmos that's bliss ain't there's only one source of bliss. That's what it looks like. So you say but why did he have to do this and why couldn't good questions and I don't have answers. I don't know if I don't we don't have answers. He's But this person, it's not about why aren't you angry at God? An angry at God refers to the fact that God is here and I'm here and I'm putting God into my this whole experience was that there's no him. There's only a that's why if you don't experience this, you can't talk about it. That's what I mean. I'm analyzing God and what he does and what he doesn't do and what I like, what I don't like. But this person in that moment lost everything and they found one thing. The only eye that exists is Hashem and that's the source of all bliss. So now you want to talk about the journey from a human limited perspective when they lost that because they were subsumed. Does any anything I say make sense now? So much sense. Yeah. You get it? This is what people don't understand. So we ask all these qu they're good questions. And if somebody has these questions, one should be sensitive and empathetic. Yeah. Why didn't Hashem get upset at himself? Or why didn't Hashem take himself out of that crazy place? You have no better places to be. I don't even know how he creates one cell. I don't even know what one atom is made up of. I don't even know how the sun works. I can't figure out the sun. And I don't know why the son never gets into a bad mood after 5,785 years and decides to quit one day. Every Jew goes to vacation at least for two days to Miami. Why doesn't the son go on vacation? Well, he does go to Miami, but he hangs out everywhere else, too. My point is there's not we don't even understand a leaf. I don't know what a leaf has. Nobody even knows the depth of a leaf with with 5,000 years of science. Now, I'm going to but my point is it's the source of all goodness and bliss. So my now I'm answering your question. The moment a person experiences that type of love that type of oneness from a moment you feel that relationship that love that Hashem has from his deepest place to you the only response can be I want only you. There's no other response. That's your letter Z. There's no other response if you're not looking away. And because it was you're not looking away. You're there. You're fully present. So when you experience that, it's only you. First of all, there's no you to be angry. be be angry as you as if we're separate. If I'm not separate anymore, number one. Number two, there's an expression in Jewish philosophy. If I would know him, I would be him. What does that mean? Why can't I know him without being him? The answer is because what? What do you mean you know him? What what what no my this limited brain that was created. It's like telling me that this straw knows me and the mosquito. It's a joke. If you would know him, you would be him. Which means that if you're him then you know him and in that moment you become him. So then you know him. I once heard from the of and he started to cry when he said it that he heard from his father-in-law who heard from his father the fifth. So this this is the expression. It's brought in in in Jewish philosophy others. If I knew him I would be him. which is an expression if you know God you know it's like like God says you think you know how to run the world better than me here come take it over if I knew him I would be him in other words to know God means to be God so you you're not God you don't know God get so when I sit by me in my room and I open is I know him. I am him. Huh? It's not a madrega. It's not a madrega. It's not a madrega. It's not a madrega. It's when you're ice madrega. When you're done with it's what do you call a meta madrega. O Madreas is steps O Madrega. And if you're looking for Madregas, that's something that's not. Go look for Madreas. Yeah. Exactly. Is the bit the bit. What does it do? In other words, means I cease to exist. So I we learn that I know him. I'm him. No. When there's no eye, then I know him. I'm him. Because that's the eye. That's him. It's the the drop back in the ocean. That's the word means superposition. In the state of you can be. Yeah. That's the I know him and I'm him. I know him. Oh, really? I know him. If you're notif first of all, if you don't know what to you don't know what was then but if you understand both of these things at least a little bit that's what he was saying that that's this requires it cannot be without get to that state. Of course, you must have DAS. Without DAS, the body will resist on every level. And if the body resists on every level, we're just superimposing. We're bypassing. And whenever you bypass, it's the exact opposite. Bypass will come back to bite you and take vengeance in a very sinister way for bypassing. And if you bypass in a real strong way, the vengeance is deeper. So whenever you go to a deeper space you have to have more das more and more and more and more das because das is integration. Whenever there is bypassing there is revenge. The protectors come back to take revenge. That's the rule. They don't they don't surrender easily. And there's a reason. There's a reason. That's their job. Their job is to pro protect you from your from your insanity. You're on a trip. It's your problem. We're here to protect you. That's it. They see you as a needs protectors. That's their job. You decided at 45 years old you discovered America together with Christopher Columbus. Fine. You'll recover. But we're going to be here to watch you. That's way you get you have to you have to respect them. But they got a point. And the reason is because they watched you disrespect yourself for many years. So they say we have to come in to protect you. Das is the bridge to be able to communicate with them. It's the bridge between the mind and the body between the it's it's communicating with the nervous system. So you understand? So when is when you open yourself up. So now the comes as a response to you. What happens is you experience the pimus of the because you're there. You're there to experience it. It's like when the woman is like I'm fully here and the man is fully there. She says I want you and he all I want is you. And the moment she experiences that boom there's nothing else. You don't need anything else. Anything else is a distraction. Even my desire to have you to fill me is a distraction. That's But you can only have that if according to the system. Because if not, if the isha is doing her own thing and the isha is almost distracting her and pulling her in is like pulling you in, how much can really give you only that which you're capable of receiving. Now when you're being distracted, so even though you receive it, but it's more limited to your terms, you can't really see your husband because you never saw yourself. You understand the depth there? You can never see your wife if you never saw yourself. You can never see your husband because you never saw yourself. There's no You can never ever see the truth of another person if you never saw your own truth. You say, "Why not? I'm looking at you. I know I'm looking at you, but I'm not seeing you." Huh? Yeah. You can't be this tus. You have to experience it. Uh to really pushing it. uh to [Music] really if I never saw myself so I don't know that all I'm looking for is Hashem I think I'm still looking for money covered status celebrity comfort whatever it is ta covered I don't know what I'm really looking for I I never saw myself if you never saw your greatness you never saw your infinity I never really really met me. So I think I'm looking for other things. So even when I see you, what I'm looking in you is what I can get from you in order to fill what I think I need. Only when you see yourself and then you see your real BL because that's who you really are, right? then I can actually see you because that's the only place where I could relax all my defenses and I can actually see you and really what it means is on that level we're really one because in a safe everybody is one so therefore I could see you in any other place I'm busy using you not in a bad way as long as I never met myself so I'm still looking for things I think I need so you're you're one of the things I found I never really see you. The only place where you could let go of everything. The only way you could let down every guard and surrender your ego completely, which is the only thing that allows you to see somebody else without an agenda, is if you met yourself so deeply that there's such a comfort there that you could just let go of everything. If you never owned yourself, you can't let go of yourself. You're still looking for yourself. Only when I really really met myself am I not afraid of completely completely suspending everything and looking at you seeing you because to see another person is unbelievable ble it means that there's nothing but you how can I do that I have to protect myself every second so only only when I really meet my deepest pinas there's such a calmness there and it's so real it's so authentic I don't have to protect protect it. So now I could let go. I can open up and I could really see you. That's why the greatest of the great are those who know how to see somebody else because somebody saw them and they learned how to see themselves. And by the way once once you're seeing once in life for real your life is never the same. No opposition in the world can derail you. The reason you know the had crazy I was telling this my the reason had crazy opposition and from really big people the biggest gun of that generation put him in the biggest gun of the generation put him in not only was he not derailed he was so graceful even to his enemies even when he came out of prison he said don't don't make fun don't mock don't only with respect and love the only reason he could be this way is because somebody saw the mag when he came to the mag. The mag saw him. The mag told him, "You have an that never came into the world. The bos told me about you and you're going to change the entire world. You're going to be Mala that was never revealed and you're going to have crazy crazy opposition and just realized opposition is because of the light that you're bringing into the world." The moment he knew that it wasn't easy, but it was already it's a whole different experience. You're not doubting yourself. The worst enemy is inner self-doubt. You're not doubting yourself. Not because you're arrogant because you know who you are until you're not seeing. You don't know who you are. And then I'm always questioning. So maybe I'm this, maybe I'm that, maybe. Which makes sense. He was lucky. He didn't see. Yeah. The the you all need some one person to see us. And then you could see yourself. Yeah. Most of us, unless it's a special gift, most of us it's very hard to go there yourself. You see in others that you see yourself that too. That too. I can only see in you like said everybody is a mirror. So I see in you what I see in myself. That's if you see yourself as oneness when you really see yourself your truest self in Bal that you could see in somebody else also. And then you could let go. You could let go. You're not protecting yourself. And you could really see somebody in their and you could recognize that of them because you recognize the of you. What does it say after that? There's one eye Hashem and then you could see your friend. So in a relationship, right? If it means she saw herself and she realized all she's looking for is Hashem. That's what I'm looking for. That's who I am. Nothing else. Really nothing else. I'm looking for life. In a marriage, it would mean I just want this relationship. This is what I want. I'm not distracting myself. Now when your husband responds, you saw yourself. You know what happens? She could see him. She could see him. And when she sees that love, wow, that's the story. When the Jew sees himself and that you bring to God, when God shows you him, when there's you see it, you see, I could see you. Wow. This is this is this is what it's about. I couldn't even imagine this type of love. I couldn't imagine that somebody could love me this way. And the truth is, I couldn't. How can anybody imagine a love that's infinite when we're finite people? Our hearts are finite. We can't. And that's the reason that only when I could see Hashem as love which is a I realize that the only way I can experience that is not if I remain in me. If I remain in me I'll never be able to touch that love. And therefore you let go of everything including an because you just want to be one with the source because that's the only way you can experience that love. You can't experience intern inside your box. But if it's I was busy being distracted. I never saw myself. I never really see your love. All I see is you're interested in me and I see the beauty of that. So it's it's the it's the but it's not from the I can't experience that type of uh that type of love from you. So this is the system. The here the is now going to explain it's going to be the last piece of the is that upends the whole system ups or upends? upends, changes because there's he still has to explain what the is. That's going to be the last tickle of the mimer. Okay. Ah. Yeah. He's going to explain that even when the union of changes the whole equation. [Music] Money doesn't buy happiness, you say. But happiness buys everything. The huh half of the only thing that makes Monday warning based will uh will finish the mimer unless he's going to pull off another trick on me. I was meditating the truth is like is coming next Thursday. So the is appropriate wanted that his should be I was just thinking that The real the real does is when you realize that you you Yeah. For me, whatever. It's the way Hashem experienced this. Exactly. That's the way it is. That's what Das really means. Das is the intimacy, the integration that it's an experience that God is experiencing the world through you. Yeah. And the moment that happens and for you means first death of yours right because otherwise it's okay right and the moment that happens the person could let down their guard because otherwise it's not integrated it's not integrated it's just intellectual you say about somebody else that experience it's just intellectual when things are just intellectual they remain you know flat they remain flat or laziness opposite intellectual listen there are many people you could learn all these things and you It just it's flat. It's like flat. It's just ideas. Just ideas. Very nice ideas. You can't you could see the beauty of the ideas. And the way how I used to learn and I was frustrated. Yeah. It's it's very frustrating. It's frustrating because a sensitive soul feels that there's light. They feel it and that's why they continue. But there's something that falls flat. It's not embodied. It's just not embodied. The nervous system is like is just not not part not on the ride. Then when the nervous system is not on the ride, it's it just falls flat. It bypasses and you it's right away there's like a dissonance which creates more which creates more guilt which creates more shame. So it means oh so I'm such a low life for not feeling it. So now I have more shame. So I become more disconnected. So I become more judgmental of people. It's just it creates a very u the entire energy that he's trying to heal us from the entire he's trying to give us becomes so distorted from these concepts themselves. So why am I not feeling bittle? So oh so now I'm so ble that you're like the idiot. It's just you know when things are not embodied you can get away with distortion much easier because it's just a mind game and mind you have your yeah what well you become cynical but even if you don't become cynical there's no like I was very cynical towards kabat until I started to grasping I was against and I came from kabat my but I couldn't get it I couldn't Yeah, it was your question that triggered Samisa. Thank you. I see that happens by a woman. You stayed so late today. What happened? Friday. Friday. Getting ready for Shabas. It's a little better than Sholan. No. A woman is forced. There's no hangover, huh? Woman is forced and she's pregnant for that. It's not her. It's not hers. Very good. I understood what you meant. Not her. So that's an extreme situation where a woman a woman is violated. So it's not hers. Here we're talking more subtle ways, but I get it. Yeah. But hopefully after she sees the baby, hopefully she'll be very nice. Very nice. You're saying sometimes after you see the baby you become half of a fella you can't see another you don't see yourself doesn't work so you can't feel their love you don't know what's you don't you can't feel their heartbeat it's impossible people don't know what it means to see somebody cuz nobody ever saw them. a [Laughter] sent what old clothes. Yeah, it was. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. We used to talk about it a lot. Yeah. Yeah was there. That's what that's what Dr. Burkowitz's point was that you know to make fun of amuna is is is an is disrespectful to all the people who remained with amuna. Don't just go to the other way. Go both sides. There were people who lost them or there were people who g didn't lose them.