Likkutei Torah Bayom #4: To Be a Mouthpiece for Hashem -- The Secret of Shmini Atzeres/Simchas Torah

Okay, so we are good morning everybody to all of you. So we're in dushim lassukus pay alf column 2 d pay alf column 2 or page 161 on top it should say dushim lassukus today's class is dedicated by Maybururi Davis Mayburi Davis is dedicating the class in honor of yael Miriam and Gary Sinbanowitz in honor of Yael Khan Miriam in honor of Yael Kaya Miriam and Gary Sirbanowitz. It's also dedicated anonymously in appreciation for all the beautiful, compassionate and encouraging classes. Thank you very very much. May you all be blessed. We appreciate your partnership. So we are in the paragraph right two three four five six seven eight nine lines from the top. So if you go to pay column two on top it says the paragraph starts 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 where where 11 lines for the beginning of the paragraph. It says line begins. [clears throat] What did we learn yesterday? page pay al in Hebrew pay alf column 2 in English it's 161 but on top it says lukus you see lukus you got it okay so the last year we already had three classes three classes on Mimer before Yumiper and also this Monday, this past Monday. So hopefully Bas will finish the mimer today. What was the what's the buildup of the mime? He started off with a he started off with a with a question in the PK that by P when it says the seventh day of P is an it's anes a gathering for your god the eighth day of sukus is it's for you not for this he went in to explain the three states of love we say in with all your heart with all your soul and with all your with all your might. He says that vaha is both a language of an instruction but it's also a prediction. You shall love and you will love. When the blockages are removed, you will love. That's what a mitzvah really is. It's not only you should. It's much deeper than you should. You should sounds like you have to do this because I'm telling you to do it. You will is I'm telling you what to do because this is who you are. In other words, one day this is where you're going to be. When the blockages are removed, this is where it is. So the mitzvah is organic. It's from within. It's it's pim. It's it's innate. It's not superimposed. So it's lui and it's lid in Hebrew in ladesh in the holy language means you shall it also means you will like you'll have the word means you're going to love him get to know him you love him is also you shall it's both and that's why you shall you shall because you will in other words it's tuning in to the frequency of your own inner consciousness your own inner on This there's three things there's and the submission was means all the parts of your heart any passion that you have any craving that you have as he puts it here any that there is in the whole world is going to be transformed and that's what Msiah is the ghoul is everything everybody will be transformed because the truth of every craving will be revealed field there won't be any blockages and that's why the garish says both inclinations even the is also part of because what looks like I want this it's really deep down it's concealing a longing for attachment with the one source the only source so that's the love that comes with all the parts the divine soul The animal soul, the he says, is your soul. It's a unique love that doesn't have a replica in the physical world. It's exclusive to the neph, the love of the divine soul, which is a derivative of the consciousness of infinity. So, it's a different type of love that you're not going to find a replica of in the physical world. And then there's he says is above everything. He calls it an It's an intense love that even who are aligned with their divine soul and experience is rooted in an infinity and a soul can't grasp it because a soul by definition is still a being. It's a created being. It has a container. It has some finitness. This just a love is connected to the bouva. And this was the whole explanation at length that the is a complete kali and because he's a complete vessel. So the very beauty of the sadic the virtue of the sadic also means that the the love is in a is finite. It's the baluva who actually went into darkness. In other words, broke the vessel, broke the container. The container is not containing the light anymore. It got cracked, it got split, it got shattered, it got fragmented, everything leaked out. All the light that it's supposed to hold leaked out. So this brokenness of the kali of the maluva, it's not a sadic gummer. There's no gummer here. Everything is the opposite of gummer. So the word sad gummer actually explains the kazal. Because it's gummer, there's no gummer here. So there's no gummer. So he says therefore from the darkness comes a different type of light a whole new type of light and this creates in the itself and as we explained at length in the previous classes what what all of this means and that's why the sins become mitzvah etc etc. and this type of love that's fueled from the darkness, it has an energy and an intensity to it, an infinity to it that the saddic doesn't have precisely because it comes from the darkness. Ask says the greatest light is the light that comes from it. And he says generally this is the concept of mitz which we celebrate on pes but we celebrate every day is the idea that wherever a m is whenever there's a m which means something constraining confining the person one has the power to go out of it and that means in a very deep way it means leaving the state of to go into the state of because the g is still why is it mitim? It's a holy mit, but it's because it's a and whenever something is in a kali, there's a smuggness. There's a complacency. We're not talking here smuggness in a in a in a you know in a in a derogatory coarse way. That's another type of smuggness. We're talking here very very refined smugness. In other words, it's the it's the making peace with the kali that's becomes a mitz. It becomes a subtle prison for infinity. That's a for it's a is it going out of to be able to experience how does he get that? No. No, of course not. [snorts] Something something more than it's it's it's relative to the truth of a he could be a Baltua. You understand? There's a Baltuva relative relative to the truth of infinity. He could become a Baltua, but he has to be open for that. The worst thing for the saddic is that he's gour. I'm done. G I'm complete. And we're talking we're talking here very in a very holy level. This is in a very high level. It's not uh you're talking he's not talking about a real saddic. He's not talking but he says but to every person wherever they are in their level someone's people are immersed in their business and that becomes their m or whatever people are immersed in something and they're stuck by it. They're defined they're confined. They need to be able to have that ability to constantly go out of mitz to be able to touch the higher energy in their soul which is not confined and he said that's that's the whole idea of pes then comes the seventh day of pes on this the says literally means to contain to hold back to contains what is it that after this love which is so powerful to the point of now your heart is running go back to one and that's what says after my heart pours out now it's consolidating the heart to be able to remain in the world and rebuild a new world called because they build the I'll take [snorts] to build a world that wanted so even though by love by its nature is the yearning the longing the pining to go out of every kali to shatter all the vessels in a very positive way and that's the whole my love of the bal that the breaking of the kali in the destructiveness in a in a destructive way created the breaking of the kali in a sacred way the cracks the cracks that become the stuff from which our new light is created is comes from that brokenness. So it's it's essentially beyond that's what means means very it's beyond it's beyond limitation and that's that comes from the darkness because when the darkness fuels the light it's a it the light has an element of infinity because it's created from something that's exact opposite of it. So therefore it has a an intensity to it a radicalism in a very powerful way. There's an ins quality to it is could you contain now the fire inside contain the fire because there is a duty to be able to go back into a world and change a world in your inner world and your outer world and that's deeper even and it's that hashem should become should become which is should become your consciousness your god We know the only name of Hashem that lends itself to different pronunciations depend on singular plural second person is only shame. Right? Other names is always Yeah. How many gods are there? It's mine. It's yours. It's yours plural. That that's alim is the consciousness that permeates what we call mali. the consciousness that permeates the individual identity. So it's mine, it's yours. That's the whole idea that this Hashem should become in other words to go into your consciousness. Says that's the whole of to be able to build a world So that's that crisis of the seven days of PES to hold back to contain the spirit that it shouldn't go out of its se of its naric of its container and experience with the but there should be and then the running and the returning that was the main the seventh day of pes and for that it's the opposite of love because love is it's The tender soft open heart where the flow is completely overwhelming and surviv is actually where the heart consolidates itself to remain right here right now. And understand that this is this is the place as he says to make a dwelling place for him here. Yeah, the highest level you would think is because it's went out of all the that was the whole of the bal that the darkness fuels such a passion, such an a such a longing to the point that the sins themselves become mitzvah because the sin themselves is what fuels all this love. It's the it's the it's the it's the craziness. It's the dysfunctionality. It's the trend. It's the mistakes. It's the failures that when the person leans into the infinite, they themselves become the chemistry from which the love is built. So it has such a power to it because it takes like the enemy itself. This is the that's fueled from the distance from the alienation. So That's the he says no there's something deeper it's called my heart is completely poured out he says no now is like a rock not a rock in the sense that he's a rock he doesn't feel anything on the contrary this is where it becomes integrated within the structure of a person's life because you have to it's time to build a world if you break all the kim you go back there's no there's no veil Yeah. For sure. Maybe that's the way he becomes. That's a beautiful thing. When the tand truly experiences empathy and real empathy creates humility. So you get the energy from the other person. Yeah. Yeah. That's very true. That's of of of pes. Then he started to say but then there's that of sukus understand that of sukus over here it says so he quoted a can and tell him literally it means say what's I will answer I will respond but it mean I will respond. So my my tongue will declare or exclaim your words because all your mitzvah are justice. So explained basically is saying I'm going to proclaim to the whole world your words like you'd loud my tongue will proclaim loudly your words because all your mitzvah are just that's the literal interpretation and he starts explaining the time of chuva until the highest level of chuva which is out of love because it's chuva out of love that makes the sins into mitzvah because the sins now become part of the love. They're the ones that fuel the love and it reveals that the sins themselves were essentially coming from a love. It redefineses the energy of the darkness and whenever energy of darkness is redefined it has a different magnitude and a different intensity and a different frequency. It has the frequency of so he says what that does is it creates sukus sukus is the reciprocity as he says in other words the love that the chuva creates in the person creates a reciprocity from above an explosion so to speak of god's love and how is that expressed that's what the suk is the whole suk is my right arm his right arm embraces you as we explain that length what the embrace of yel says with the walls of the suk and the it's all an embrace of hashem so sitting in the suk is essentially being present leaning in to this embrace we explained at length that that's very hard thing for people to do you know to let go the effort what do they they call it the effort of effortlessness [laughter] the effort of effortlessness you know sometimes the hardest thing to do is not to work especially Especially if you're a Jew. To be to be. Just to be. But it's it's the deepest of. How do I know? Try it. You'll see. It's the hardest of [laughter] just to be. To be with yourself, to be with God, to be with somebody else, to be with your spouse. Just to be. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What? What? Are you a gardener? Are you a lazy nobody? What? What do you mean to be? Come on. Go do something. It's to be a glump. Huh? But to be the presence, it looks like you know our hijackers, our mind are so sophisticated. They don't call it to be versus not to be. They call to do something with your life. You know, you got to accomplish. Got to so and there's a lot to do. Everybody has a lot to do. It's so we always have a good good reason. But it's not because it's looking for productivity. It's looking to take you away from being cuz being is a very hard thing cuz being means I have to let go of everything. It's trust. It's surrender. It's bitten. That's but love is always experienced in being because love is always experienced. It's it's the presence. Love is not you know love is not control. Love is I love you. I control you. I'll tell you what to do. I'll do that's not love. That's control. It's it's it's it's survival. We call it love you know. Real love is is is complete surrender and therefore it's trust and that happens right here right now. That's what it is. So this is the whole idea of that and as we explained that the mitzvah of suk is unique that there's nothing to do there you don't do the mitzvah every mitzvah you do I give so I write a check or I take a dollar and I give or I put on or I put up a muza or I'm learning I'm dominating. So there's all different type of action or I'm benching. What's the mitzvah? The mitzvah is not something specific. It's being it's being in the you want to have a you're eating, you're drinking, you're learning. You could be talking about things. They're not holy things. I'm not talking about if you're speaking about forbidden things, but if you're talking about not forbidden thing, not talking about you're having a chat with somebody, what's the mitzvah? If I if I start sch smoozing with you outside it's a mitzvah. It's a holy thing. It may be necessary. It may be nice. If I sleep it's sleep is important but suddenly in the suka everything becomes a mitzvah. What's says because it's a says that even it's the only form of love that even if you try to tear away yourself from you try yourself you tear you try to tear yourself away from me I'm not letting you. In other forms of love I love you. I could look at you. I could kiss you, but you could run away. There's a grip. [clears throat] I'm not letting you leave even if you want. So what does that mean spiritually? What does that mean spiritually? It's an that the love encompasses every part of you. In other even the part of you that's not interested in me, I'm good. Don't worry. Right. We're talking here emotionally, not physically. I mean, you can leave your suka if you want. Nobody's going to force you to stay in the but emotionally there's the part that that pulls away like get out of me. I I had enough of you. That's what is not is the opposite. No, but sometimes the needs to prevail overwhelm that the love extends even to those parts where you say I'm not interested. So he but my love is going to be deeper than that. Your defiance won't won't minimize the love. [laughter] That's real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be very secure in that love cuz uh you're not interested in me. I'm not interested in you. I understand. The real father should be. Yeah. In other validation. Oh, you're such a nice guy. Oh, you're such a good father. Oh, why I never realized how loving you are. ah [laughter] then it's a very very uh fragile. The moment I don't get that feedback, I'm done cuz I'm insecure in it. I'm not uh I'm I'm needy. I'm very needy. I'm not in my own. You understand? It's coming from a very like it's like it's I give you, you give me back. I give you, you know, So it's a normal human emotion but that's the is there's no in which the connection is not there [snorts] and the truth is this is all a connection is the moment we realize that the sin itself becomes a mitzvah so that means even those parts of you that are running away are not really running away you think you're running away you're not really running away if you go deeper if We excavate it. You're coming closer. There's one of the Jewish poem, the Jewish poets, not I forgot one of the big ones. I run away from you to you. Huh? What an expression. I run from you to you. What does that mean? I'm running away from you. On one level, you're running away from me. Really, you're running to me. Once said, he's trying to create a new path to God. There's a path to God. It's called Hashem. And you're not supposed to go off the path. You know, ways tells you go here. Listen to Ways. They know better. Google Maps knows. They know the roads a little better than you. Even though but every Jew, he knows better than Google Maps. He knows better than ways. At that time there's a traffic jam. Trust me, there's a satellite, there's a traffic jam, there's a ditch. But you know how it is with Jews, right? So now you're stuck in traffic for two hours by the GW. Good luck. So the same is true happens with Hashem says, you know, GPS is God's positioning system. This is the path. I'm tell this is the path. You go this path, there's a ditch. you're going to get stuck. You're going to get lost. It's not the good path. But [laughter] so I deviate. You go your own path. So is you're just a troublemaker. You're a mischievous guy. You can't listen on a deeper level. You're trying to create a new path to God. It's not off the beaten track. Is not the regular path of yiddish. You don't say I sin then I do chuva out of love and my sins become mitzvah. [laughter] It's not it's not it's dysfunctional. It's ridiculous. It's like somebody will say, "I'm going to destroy my marriage so I can have a better marriage." You don't do that. I'm going to get sick. I'm going to go get sick so my body could build an immune system and create antibodies and I'll be stronger. It's true. When somebody gets sick and the body develops an immune immunity for it, the body develops new antibodies. That's true. But it's not a reason for a person to go into a place with his infections raging. Of course not. There can also be a lot of sacus on the way and sometimes they don't heal always. So obviously that's not a d but when you say when somebody did that so now the cha transforms the sin in other words it's a new direct to the usually the direct toem is through mitzvah and here the direct toem is through a now I don't want anybody should misconstrue what I'm saying the rabbi yw why said in the shia today that the path to god is by sinning that's not what he said he did not say that huh [laughter] It's almost like I should introduce more people to this class but it's an unbelievable v you understand it's a new path that's that that's the that the darkness becomes the path to God. How can darkness become the path to God? It's the opposite. But that's the of it doesn't happen in the darkness. It happens through the chuva retroactively. So that experience is reciprocated from above in the that's the that there's no in which I'm going to let you go or you're going to let me go. What are you running far away? I'm running away from you to you. Now right when I'm running away from you, I'm not saying I'm running to you. I'm not running to you. I'm running away from you. But deep down behind that running away is I'm running to to you. Everything in this is expressed also in the garra says in kadush how do we know that you could marry a woman through in it says there's there's marriage through be intimacy we also learn that you could do it with money what about you can also with a document so the gmorra says it says in par in the same a person a woman gets divorced she leaves his house of and she gets married to a new person whenever there's two words in the same p it's called a heish you juxtapose you compare the two so is just like marriage is like divorce so just like the clearly says you do it through a that says clearly so you learn also has the same gather with you could you could be mad. So that's says that this is also the by there's two states. There's viatz and there's means when you leave the marriage is when you go into the marriage. Don't think that the is very different than the divorce is the same kind of like marriage because I'm running away from you to you. In other words, the reason I'm really separating is because I'm looking for a much deeper relationship, a much more authentic relationship in order to experience a new relationship. I'm breaking the first relationship which is going to force a whole different type of love. And it's all up sub subconscious. Of course, when the person is running away, they're trying to run away. And because that's the realm of it. So therefore it can it when when you get there it redefineses the as part of the it's the same state but in the first one it's revealed and the other one it's concealed. So after which is the and he says this a is also without a limit. It's that's how powerful this love is. That's how powerful this bliss is. You know, to be able to real to really experience this flow of connection is so overwhelming. It's so intense. It creates a desire in the soul to let go of everything which doesn't need it's not interested in anything else. That's how powerful this connection is, this relationship is. So now let's see continue v Okay. And for those it's page 161, the second column around 10 lines from the top. The PK says what does this mean? So the regular so the mitsud says is an instruction to a person justice should always walk before you in other words you should follow the path of like what's the what should walk justice righteousness before him yahik should walk looks like somebody's going ahead of me and I'm following them they're showing me directions so sedic should always walk in front of you in other words you should follow the path of righteousness Not the path of crookedness of the says is really a repetition just in different words poetic. He should place to the path of his steps of our steps. So this should become the path on which which steps he follows. Rashi says it's not talking about a person. is talking about God. Hashem walks before Hashem. He places those footsteps on his path. That's the footsteps he follows in his path. Either to talk about Hashem or it's an instruction to a person that's according to both interpretations. It's a redundancy. Alter says, "No, it's a whole different vert. There's a whole deeper partic which is it's the attribute of the Jewish people of which represents the Jewish people who are dedicated and embody the concept of the fun of walk before him through There is such an ali there's such an elevation that you become of the word is from the word that before God is such an embrace that of is now walking right before him meaning in his presence in his embrace. Now there has to be a and that is to bring downward until the end of action. How beautiful are your footsteps and shoes represents the footprints created by the steps in your shoes. So you said of you reach the place this on the path of where you walk. In other words, you come down all the way down to the bottom of your legs and this happens in the beginning of kadush. First D there's a whole long why it says the difference of what it says over there is called the path. So through the which is called this is the path through which the revelation of infinity comes downward just like a path brings you from one place to another place. It connects one city to another city. So when you look at the there just looks like it's like a bunch of it's an interesting but he says here no it's a whole it's of definition the is a path to be able to access the all the way downwards. So after the now comes of that this should become part of your where your footsteps walk the reached you went up and up and up and up like he said now [snorts] there's a long long here from a very long bracket a lot of other but I want to go after that it finishes is next page 162. It's a very very long foot. 1 2 3 4 5 6 eight lines from the top of 162. Now we'll understand deeper what it means in we say what does it say right afterwards prevails over us. Like he said before that the means that the is so to speak stronger than you. It doesn't let you leave. Even the part of you that says no I want to run away says no you're we're always connected. Even the part of you that you think is numb and blah and detached is also attached. What do we say right after that? It looks like two separate things. His kindness prevails over us and the truth of God is forever. So he says that's the that's so powerful that it lifts you up. Then is the MS is that this MS comes into the world from is always you're going upwards and this comes the opposite from the higher to the lower to come into the world I'll say the only real truth is so is that the comes into the into the world into the and he explains means this is the attribute of love even though what is love is I want to cleave to him and we said this love but here we're talking about so it's and that's why it comes from the shattering of the caleb because it's in the kali where that's still contained and the shattering of the kales where the love is completely transcendent. It's the experience of so there's no deeper but this is still the truth of the person it's true is true but it's the and there's the ems of a person is em it's true but it's the truth of the human being it's note why [snorts] not and it's a real it's the It's without Caleb. So he says, the truth of hem is because the hashem is that is one there's nothing else. So there's nobody to love. So love in its very definition and the deepest experience by definition love is I love. It's my emotion. It's my experience. The love of the Baltu is a love that includes all of the darkness and all of the mistakes and all of the failure and all of the dysfunctionality which now becomes the stuff from which the love is built. And that's why it has such an intensity to it and there's such a thirst and such a longing in it. It has such a power to it. It's like the person we spoke about in the other classes, you know, person who's been under a rock for for 50 years or underwater for 50 years and then your head comes out. Ah, it's a different type of it's a different type of light. It's a different type of experience. The explosion of gratitude is of a different level where a person who lived in a more functional open space their whole life. You can't compare it. It's the very very concealment that creates the buta by definition is my emotion, my experience. It's true. It's ems but it's the ems of a person. What's emashem? Em hashem is the ems of hashem himself. of is that the only reality if means so there's nobody to love what do you mean there's nobody to love the eye loving you means there's an eye that loves in the there's nothing outside of but no thought can grasp it in other words all all love is a thought it's an experience it's an emotion it's an energy by definition if you one ms hashem no thought can grasp because again what's a thought a thought is my experience of you my understanding of you my energy connected to you only when the mind grasp it's his will is one with him we say in ashem is close to all those who call him to those who call him with truth what's the two things is one thing he's close to anyone who calls out and love is calling out. love is I'm calling you. But then there's what's be the first it doesn't mean the first one was a lie. The first one was the ems of a person. The second one is the sukus that I hug you and you're in my grip. And that that's the that comes as a result of the person's love of the love that comes from above which is the is so powerful that even if you want you're not going to get out of my grip because it extends to every single part of a person's life and that's what the mitzvah of represents. But on this it says and then there's something afterwards in the world and this comes into the this comes back into the so there is the ems of the person the ems of the person the deepest form of the truth of the person is the infinite love of the person but by definition it's em iso there's nobody to love. So you say okay so let's stop talking if there's nobody to love so why are you saying this mime so in that state there's nobody else okay so the question is is there a relationship with that too you say okay I can't deal with that he says that's the means it's his that's so after you go to there's something even deeper that's the hashem that's not an experience of love that's that's the complete us in hashem and that can be in the that comes into the relates that to the world as well that's a muscle we have a muscle for this even in human relationships love exists on many levels but let's talk about the deepest forms of love. Real genuine vulnerable love that a person actually could fully open up to which is quite an avoid because it's full trust and full presence as we spoke about. But even in that deepest deepest form of love, I'm touching my heartstrings are in love. My my my heartstrings are inspired. They're aroused. They're they're they're They're infatu they're not infatuated but they're they're filled with with with an energy of Ava. The power of it, the beauty of it is that it's that it's me. It's you. It's touching you in your deepest deepest place. That's what it is. And because it's touching you in its deep in your deepest place, it's so potent. It's so powerful. It's so beautiful. It's so elevating. But he says he's something even deeper than that and that's the mis hashem. So if you for example if you want to speak in a marriage example or really any relationship I'll just give that example because of the nature of it. [clears throat] The love that one person has to another is their experience of the other person. It's an amazing thing. That's what connects them. My experience of you is what connects. It's my experience of the other person and my wanting to be close to the other person. And it may be so deep, especially if it's coming from years of of mistakes or failure or breakdowns. So all those all the brokenness becomes part of the new relationship. The there's a a much deeper appreciation. The contrast creates a much deeper appreciation. Right? The insanity, the becomes holy insanity. [clears throat] But all of it is my my experience of you, my appreciation. There's something even deeper and that is there's actually the other person. That's a very subtle thing in love. But some people could make this mistake. I love you so much that the love becomes more important than you. [laughter] I'm saying it a little bit in a funny way, but that's what it really is. I love you so much that the love is more important than you. So, so sometimes it's just selfish, you know? It's just my love, my you know, I'll choke you. I'll choke you to death cuz I want to hug you. You know, it's like you'll take a kid and choke them cuz you're so cute. You're so cute. You know, you tearing off my You're so cute. I can't breathe, but you're so cute. So, you have that, too. You know, it's a it's a choking relationship because it's really about I just I need I'm feeding off you. But here we're talking much more adal. That's a love without respect, without boundaries. It's just I'm feeding I just have a craving and you're you're you're really an object. So we're not talking about that. We're talking here a real genuine experience which has a lot of humility and a lot of respect. But what what's the nature of the relationship? The nature of relationship is I'm crazy about this person and and and it's beautiful. [laughter] It's really beautiful to the point I don't want anything else. What what else could you ask for? I don't want anything else. In other words, this is very deep. But there's one thing that's deeper and that is the actual other person. [laughter] Not my love to them but actually them. And we see it in, you know, we see it sometimes in interesting ways, right? One metaphor I think we spoke about in other classes. A husband is sitting with his wife. They're having an amazing amazing time and she asks him to do something. And he says, "No, I want to be with you. I don't want to go away. I want to be with you." So essentially, what was he saying? He was saying, "My love to you is much more important than what you want. [laughter] But if you love me so much, I love you so much. I don't want to go away from that. My love to you is much more important than what you want because it's my experience. And it's extremely filling. And again, I'm not talking here in a in just an empty, superficial, narcissistic, self-centered way where I'm just using you. It's a very, very genuine emotion. But there's something deeper. Can you actually connect with me on on my terms? Really, really tune in. And that that that's a form of bold. That's a form of of transcendence. It's letting go even of my love. This is this is a deeper dus. It's a much deeper dus. It's not my experience of you. It's it's actually you. And it's sometimes very hard for us because if a person is having that level of ava, it's so gratifying and it's so profound and it's so amazing. You just want to stay there. So the other person is let's say his terms are not necessarily in agreement with your terms. How do you cultivate that depth? So that's where it's often expressed. Sometimes it's expressed where the person is in a completely different space than where I am and where I would like them to be. Right? And it's really having the the respect for where that other person is and holding space for that. [cough] Possibility. It's an impossibility unless you break without ble. Yeah. Without ble and this is deeper than a. So says discover and then there's hashem what's hashem hashem is there's nobody to love not because you're a nobody because you're a itself you're one with them that's the of the of t in its deepest sense is deeper than aa it's tuning in to his ratson it's tuning into When I'm coming with love, I'm coming with my emotion with my experience which is galdic and even if it's a bou so it's an experience that allows me to go out of the kin but it's all experiential in terms of the human emotion and that's what love is. I love you. I mentioned the when the was a baby was a a baby. He was a a young boy. He was a yasum. So his mother was once traveling and his mother brought him for a blessing. So they say he was nine years old and he turned to and he said he has a question. His question is once you say how could you say that was his question. What was this was his question. If how could you say after means you should love where's you? Yeah, there's no you. You should love. So there's a you and now you're loving. So he went into and he said because in the middle you say yeah now here we're talking on an experiential level not philosophical gymnastics games. What does it mean? Means means there's nothing outside of so there's nothing outside of clout in that level of experience. There's no experience in many ways. It's the mo could be the most painful reality or the most liberating reality. If I want to remain in my shell, it's the most painful reality called death of ego but the completely death of complete death of ego complete death of any separation. So in the core of reality you're completely fine with that but when I'm holding on to any identity even the most exalted identity it's my ems but it's not mis hashem. So that's what he says after go there's something called it's not like don't even go there let's not talk about it no we go everywhere goes everywhere go to hashem also hashem is also part of you where's hashem expressed not in my experience of you no mak could grasp because every is already post concealment it's not msem when the full full full ems of reality comes out when all the doors of perception are cleansed. Everything appears as is. That's the it's his will. It's his wisdom. It's his it's it's em. It's not my which is genuine. But then where the first guys are liars of a bunch of fakers, con artists. What's people are just closing their eyes and screaming and thinking about something else. No means all those who call genuinely. But then not with their with his I could reach out to you with my truth which is pretty good. We're not don't minimize your truth. Your truth is your truth. That's what that's what I could show up with. I can't show up with anybody else's truth. I can only show up with my truth. But then there's understanding this be with his truth and it's a whole different it's a whole different uh it's a game change. It's a different spectrum. It's a different frequency. It's beyond frequencies. It's not the transmission of his truth the way I'm experiencing. So you say so where does that leave me? Means stop thinking about it because whatever you're thinking is not that. And it's your formulation of the relationship which is your MS. But it's the way MS is integrated into you. And by definition, it's grasped by me. Then MS Hashem is the pure unadulterated MS. It's tuning in to to your truth. And that's deeper than love. That's complete B. That's the kal to anoid. SO and then now we'll understand a whole deeper in the he brought earlier that is the mitzvah. So I said the world tites means my tongue will exclaim loudly your words because all your mitzvah are just I'm going to like publicize it to the whole world. says the word actually means to answer. So he says in you have from the word like it's basically responding and repeating after somebody is called like means Gmoria speaks about when they saidal. So somebody says hallelu and you repeat after them. You answer after what the person says. That's what means I answer you. So answering could mean I respond to you with different words. But in the word is actually it's like I repeat what you said like I echo back to you your own words. The word tan means I'm not saying something my original. I'm responding to you. I'm I'm following your lead. So either it could mean I'm reacting to you or I'm repeating your words. But the point is I'm not coming up with something. Then it's not right. Even in Hebrew you say I said something to you. Could you please answer is not you're initiating the conversation. You're responding to a conversation that's already in existence. So often it means repeating the same words like a you say it over it says like by the said and the Jewish people they said after they said the words after you're responding to me in your own way but you're responding. So this was the prayer of David for all of the for the collective soul of Israel. He puts in two words they're all rooted in his soul. In other come to talk about me talk about yourself. Why you talking about me? So says it's rooted in his soul. So when a soul it's like writes about your right I am a harp to your songs. I am the harp. So David's soul is a harp for every Jewish song for every Jewish soul. Every soul is rooted. It's like it's a root of the tree. It's so when his soul speaks he's not speaking for himself. He he tunes into the collective consciousness of that's the uniqueness of those souls like every soul is an individual frequency of God. No question. But then you have souls that when they're speaking they're representing the collective consciousness of because every soul is there. [snorts] That's what it means. says hani says mosh says sometimes mosha is called mosha sometimes he's called said which one is he so he says when it says it means moh when it says mosha IT MEANS WHAT MOSH IS MOSHA NO mo every soul is in mo so his soul carries the zeitgeist it it it embodies the energy of every soul. So when he's ding him for himself, what is he saying? He asks for one thing. May my tongue respond to your words. So again, the regular is I'm going to speak out loud about your words. He says, "No, the word is what's is the words that you spoke already and already left your mouth and it's now also every day the blessing of is in the present not like we say it's the of why do you and he's not giving it now. It's not true. He gave it 3,300 years ago. And of course, there's things to the but it's all in the past and you're going to be learning that were already said. It's not he's not giving says that's not the it's right now also. So when you say it's what you already spoke and it's what you're speaking now on this on this he says this the says I put my word I will put my words in your mouth my words are being put in your mouth. So what is real learning? I'm actually repeating what you're putting in my mouth. I'm repeating. I'm repeating what you're putting in my mouth right now. What I'm speaking right now is you're you're putting it in my mouth. So what am I doing? I'm just repeating. It's the revelation of God's word in the sayings of my mouth. I'm not doing anything. It's like I'm repeating. I'm giving an echo of what somebody else is saying. That's what is. And he says after the parenthesis, how can I reach this? Okay, look at the parentheses a second. This is the deepest mile and learning of not everybody could be this but this is the whole that my words are going through your mouth. He says through the shadow that I eclipsed that I covered you with I enveloped you over the seven days of could now come the same pos how can I reach this because [snorts] all the mitzvah allows that should become part of you part of your should be elevated into your specifically through the so from the now it goes into the footsteps on your path that should be revealed in the world says So he touches he's the one who makes you say it's not him. It's not you saying it. It's him saying it. What's what's saying here? When says he's not just saying I'm going to exclaim to the whole world you're saying. He's saying something much deeper. I'm asking that we should all be able to answer after your words that my entire experience of learning should be essentially of yeah like what does what does this mean? What does this mean? This means that essentially I'm learning I'm speaking. What am I doing? It's not Jacobson speaking or any or plas. It's an Indian of tan. What's the experience of tan? I'm not even speaking. It's like the mic that uh magnifies the the voice or the megaphone. The mega the mega what is it called? The megaphones that magnify the voice or the echo. What's the echo? You you you you uttered a sound. You sang a song, right? you're in a tunnel or something and then it bounces off and the walls just give you back what you said. So David is now asking allow me to be your words. What do you mean now? My mouth is just a channel for you. I'm a conduit. I'm like a channel. I'm your microphone. I'm your microphone. I'm your channel. speak. You're speaking through me. I'm the mouthpiece since it has to come into the world. So, you need a mouthpiece. You need a microphone. [laughter] Our world doesn't not doesn't have the sensitivity to detect higher higher thoughts. So, you need a microphone. So, you need a mouth. So, you need a tongue. So, you need a body. So, fine. I'm the mic. I'm happy. I will say, but what do you mean? I'm I'm talking I'm talking. I even thought what I want to say [laughter] that's a of tan means it's your I am responding I am repeating your words in other your energy your flow that's coming through me I am now repeating it and saying it loud that's what it is this is the prayer this is the that is asking for because they're all mush this is already hashemah This is deeper than the that's the ems of a person where you experience that love and that bliss and therefore you have that longing and that connection and that vas as he said before but since no thought can grasp him then there's he said that's the so that's my entire reality is a channel for your words and he says in gimlukus this is the eighth day after sukus what was sukus sukus was the flow of love but not just love of blissa more powerful and more powerful to the point that the love is so intense that wherever you run to, you're going to feel my love. That's it means you're running, you're running, you're running. My love will be stronger than anything else. And just vi just visualize this experience. You know, you're running away from somebody your whole life and you run and you finally think you you you you know, you got rid of them, right? You know how in dreams sometimes, especially nightmares, like you're running away from an enemy and then suddenly they show up from, anybody knows what I'm talking about? They like show up in like you thought you were gone, right? But they weren't. Yeah, they weren't gone. And the reason is because the person you're running away from is yourself in your dream. When you're running away from somebody, you're running away from something in yourself. So therefore, wherever you hide, they're going to show up because it's you. So that's in a a negative dream. But the concept here is I ran I ran I ran I ran I already made a new life for myself somewhere else means yeah the love is stronger than that also there's no defiance that's going to delegitimize the love. There's no you can't do anything to make me not love you because we're one. Even what you're doing to make me not love you is also part of your love. Don't you get it? That's so there's nothing that the love is not more powerful. That's the that's the grip. Once you're in my walls, you're in my grip. I'm not letting you leave. Why am I not letting you leave? Because it's we're inseparable. Huh? Yeah, you can used to say a Jew neither he wants or could both. It's why did he say both? If you can't, therefore you don't want. He doesn't want cuz he can't. In other words, it's it's it's contrary to the design. You say, "I want to be a horse. I want to become a hippopotamus." You don't want to become a hippopotamus. You're sick. So you need healing. You don't want to become a hippopotamus. I want to become a mosquito. They're much freer. They don't have to put on fillin in the morning. You don't want to become a mosquito. You have a we have to heal it. You don't know yourself. You were traumatized. I get it. I think Kafka has a story where he becomes a cockroach in the morning or something. H spider metamorphosis. France Kafka. France Kafka needed to learn the kotra. He was a deep soul. Right. So you I decided I'm a spider. I want to be a spider. Fine. You want to be a spider. To pal or not to p that is the question. But the truth is that can in other words he doesn't want and he can't. And because I can't I don't want to cuz it's not me. And because I don't want to therefore I can't. It's really one. It's not like you can't like [laughter] they used to say that there's two people who say if I go up to heaven you're there if I go down to the abyss you're also there right even I go to the across the ocean you're also there I'm in darkness you're there So he said two types of people would say it. One is like with a depression. Wherever I go is a dart. It's like Google. It's like almost like Google. Wherever you are they know where you are. I'm trying to go to that's one way of looking at it. And then another way is [laughter] it depends how you experience the so that's so wherever the person is running the is more powerful. It's like you already made made a life for yourself. You already made a life for yourself. the truth is going to come out there also because everything else is a dysfunctionality. It's a dysfunction. You're running away from who you are. That's a very powerful. It takes a lot of gura. That love takes a lot of gura because the PERSON IS SCREAMING GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU SICK PERSON. I hate you. I will tell it to you again. It's so much trust and belief in the truth of the person. That's why I'm saying you have to have a lot of conf God has a lot of confidence. So he's fine because he knows the truth. Fathers don't always have that confidence because they think they're cockroaches. If you think you're a spider, you're not going to be able to do that because the moment you get that defiance, you're like, "Oh, right. Yeah, I am a loser. Sorry. Yeah, I forgot I'm a loser. Okay, I'm leaving you. You're right. Yeah, we don't have to have a relationship." It's really finding who you are more than anything else. Right. We always think it's about the other. It's really finding who you are. Huh? So, if your son runs towards the god, so you'll find him there. But if he runs away, you'll find him there. Of course. You run to God, you find him. You run away, you'll find him, too. It's just going to come through more pain. Everybody's pain and God's pain, too. But through the pain will also come a different type of growth. The pain will become the mitzvah. It's not things we choose for other people. We could barely choose it with our own life. You think we're choosing it for other people? All we could do is show up with the tools that we have with empathy and love and a lot of humility. So you have to understand how deep is a very deep you're running and running and running and running but the grip is there. Then there's something that's tukus and tukus is the explosion of this ava and it's a tremendous tug when you realize that it's such a powerful thing that the love was always there right under I was like under a rock I was in water I was drowning I was numbing numbing numbing numbing numbing more numbing more numbing more dysfunction and he was just waiting he was just waiting for the moment you pick up your head I'm here it sounds [snorts] Yeah. Well, I I I wouldn't say I wouldn't say so much the word likes the brokenness. I would say what happens in this world is that we have the ability to become a baluva which is men mending the brokenness. mending it, using it as as as a catalyst for healing. It's it's not it's not about romanticizing brokenness. It's never a good thing. Some people want to do that, but it's part of it's part of being broken. Part of being broken is that we romanticize brokenness. There's such a path in by people, but they really it's really brokenness. But and it's not judgment. When when I'm in a lot of pain, one of the ways of dealing with it is romanticizing it. happening believe that I know I know but you'll see that it always goes back to wholeness and some people don't like that they want to stay broken they want to stay broken huh always comes back to because at the end at the core it's not pain at the core it's connection there's a lot of pain to get to connection there's pain the pain is from letting go of all the blockages that have become part of who I am and it's very painful to let go. It's like a surgery to take out all these infections and craziness. It's painful and there's also grief for everything that I lost for all the disappointment. So that's an essential part of it processing it acknowledging it but the light is always underlying it all. always that's why there's so the deepest experience says then comes is deeper just like the seventh day of PES was deeper than so here it's already on a much deeper place after chuva which brought sukus chuva is your experience sukus is god's response to that it's you're coming into his space you're coming into his hog. You're coming into what's this of is deeper than govern is actually me. Oh, I'm not here. I'm just a conduit. I'm not speaking. You're speaking. So what am I doing? What I am speaking? I'm just repeating. Who you repeating? [laughter] Who you repeating from? We don't hear anybody. That's what real learning is. Real limit is that's what it is. In other words, not only there's no not only there's no ego here, even the ego of love is not here. I'm a channel complete channel. Why? Because of now through the now comes something deeper which is the of course it can only happen after the because the relationship is so deep now I'm ready to let go and just be a channel if I don't have that love and trust I'm not going to let go I'm not going to let you speak through me I have to control my mouthpiece. [snorts] So let's see what he says. The eighth day is higher. What taste it's higher? What's should become the hashem should become yours. BUT YOU JUST SAID IT can't be yours. If it's yours, there's no MS hashem. You just explained that even love is notem because it's my love. There's nobody to love. It should be yours because it's not your words. It's Hashem is making you say, it's him saying through you. This is the kiss. This is where the minds meet to the point that there's complete unity and this is a great principle and this is this perspective the right in the entire learning of to know faithfully the Mishna, the gam, the pkim, whatever the person is learning, he's learning it. It was already said it's it's may be being said right now. Even if it's a it's being said right now. So what's my job? My job is like every it's for the whole year. But is a time that channels and manifests this energy. So in very what what he's saying here is after the love of it's complete oneness. So it's even deeper than love. It's hashem comes into the so what's my role? My role is I'm the channel. I'm the microphone. So when a person is learning right sometimes there's the concept of you know I have to be right there's an ego element here I'm trying to prove a point so that's completely missing the whole idea the whole idea of learning is that there's no eye that's present completely not. So what am I doing? Don't you have to right? So it's a contradiction because I'm using my mind person is trying to be creative. I have to understand. So that's where the paradox is that's comes into the that's why he says it's so my whole creativity my whole intellectual prowess my analysis my scrutiny it's all for one purpose the purpose is just to be able to allow myself to be a channel so there's no pressure there's no stress there's no anxiety I have to come up with it I have to do this I have to do that you don't have to do anything you just have to let go of everything. You don't have to do anything. The best thing you can do is do nothing. Please do me a favor. Don't say anything. But I have to say, no, don't say anything. [gasps] Just be quiet, which is hard. But what? But but I have to use my mind. Use your mind. But what's the whole purpose of your mind? Your purpose of your mind is to become a conduit for his mind. And that's called being in the flow. Being in You don't have your own mind. There's no such a thing. [laughter] Mulvad the whole idea I have a mind I'm creative what does creative mean creative comes from the word creator what's creativity creativity means you're tuning in to the creator's energy so it's THE MORE YOU'RE NOT HERE the more creative you'll be if I'm here I'm it's I'm substituting for the creator I'm the creator so what do I create I create what y jacobson could create a few schmatas and even that Not if I'm not here. So then what happens? I could actually be creative. [laughter] What's that creative? The creator can flow creativity through me cuz I'm not blocking anything. Oh, now now you'll actually hear something from me. [laughter] Now you'll actually hear something new. Real creativity is complete ble. It's the opposite. Yeah, but I have to use my mind and I have somebody has to appear, right? You're not giving the speech. I'm giving the speech. You're not giving the sh I'm giving the sh. So the moment I'm giving it, it's right away block right away blocking the energy. Now it's as much as my ego can channel it and formulate it and make it into a nice thing with a good joke, with a good story. Okay. [snorts] Some of you are learning these my mother for many years. What's one of the most fascinating extraordinary qualities in every mimer? Yeah. It's all from the's mind, but you don't even sense him at all. Like where is where's the here? Every mime is all his I mean every line is another every that he touches is a whole new shot. Literally every p there's not one puzz like it comes through his hands and it like comes into gold like a different energy but you don't even hear you like we know from because he said the it's pure like there's only in every mime there's nothing else that was that's why he was you said this is an example for what he's saying in other words every person is this but with some we all have blockages and even big and big minds. So they they they channel beautiful stuff but they channel beautiful stuff to channel. This is Ms. Hashem. This is not the MS of a person Hashem. It's a whole different that that's he says that's after sukus. What's greater than sukus? You're in the embrace. You're feeling that love. It's a love that transcends everything but it's it's not this doesn't minimize. It's just taking it to the next level, right? That's that when people speak, when people learn, it should all be says this is the how you're learning. It's all different approach. You know, people learn and there's ego and there's this and there's my I'm going to say and I'm going to disprove you. Okay, that's but it's like a in other words the moment we think that learning has could if if somebody can even have a that learning could be with even an iota of ego they're completely they're completely lost the whole of is the abnigation of ego that even deeper than a hashem you know the they called him the litak because he came from But also because by him all my money it goes back to limit and some people don't understand the hol of the was passion and and emotion was learning learning learning learning learning learning use your mind mind your heart will figure it out I'm not talking today today everything changed but I'm saying initially was alligen and li and Right. But in you don't see that. So some people think he deviated a little from the more intellectual. Yeah. I heard somebody giving a podcast with he was saying that he bec he made an intellectual. He was avo but but the person completely wasn't ty. You see how he speaks here about the love. It's the deepest level of love but there's something even deeper. the this is the bash didn't come to say you know what yeah it's enough not everybody's an intellectual I understand that and his are brilliant people but we have a bunch of farmers all they need is bring in a little schnaps let's go you know bring in a guy let him say a nice story and the litf looked at them okay a bunch of peasants who are lazy open and stop with your leak and this was a real debate Right. And the intellectuals like so this peasants are fine. So be nice to them. But that's and we're nice people. The wanted that the farmers should feel good when they milk their cows. They should say and but we know the truth. But the truth is it's one of the biggest in history because the bump of and the magidum were some of the of the generation [laughter] was a gone in once in a thousand years his level of gayness used to say two people knew how to learn [laughter] [panting] writes that all the of a lot of the brisk and this and of said that is what he got from the mag You had some of even people think was just a nice person was an azdon in some of the biggest communities in Ukraine. He was going [laughter] all of the mag you're talking about they were with why did they come with was looking for schnaps for herring he didn't have inj herring he came to the maggot because it was a nice tish no these were they knew what intellectualism is they came to touch the of so here you see how he describes what real limit is limit is the deepest form of but it's not the of ego I'm ash it's after all the now you touch the to the point I'm not even here I'm not teaching I'm not teaching What do you think? [snorts] So in practical terms, the worst thing the worst thing that could happen to me after I teach is wait for somebody to thank me for the sh. It's the worst thing. [snorts] Huh? I won't I won't bring you to I that's one thing [laughter] we just okay fine so yeah if I'm living in a space of ego of course that's what I want validate but the moment you tune into this okay now this is a much higher ma but that nikuda the worst thing I could want is could you thank me that means I wasn't in this space even a little bit not so already the information is blocked. Energy is blocked. And the worst thing you can do after a is thank me [laughter] because it means you also went into that space. [snorts] I hear if it's [snorts] not me, if it's not fine, [laughter] [panting] if it's for the channel, there's a story that everyone said and such a moving story. He said that alterba in the early years of his nas he uh he uh it was a struggle for him this whole uh experience. [snorts] You understand people who are in this space the worst the the hardest thing is that they have to they have to be teaching because by teaching it's it's it allows people to take you out of that space if you're not really anchored right because you're you're you're in a projective mode. I mean even the greatest of the great that's why naturally they just want to you know let me be in my own little corner. So the alterba was once sitting in his house and the the curtain was open or the window he was by the window and he sees a bunch of coming down the street. They were coming to the house. So his wife his name is Rabbit Stern. So looked at her and with a deep sigh he said villain for me. What do they want from me? I have nothing to say to them. I have nothing to give to them. When the said the story he said that his theson realized that this is a moment of crisis. In other words was really like like there was a feeling in him that you know he's quitting like I don't need this. I don't want this. and and and he's going to segregate himself. So she like needed to save the day. So she tells her husband, she says, "Do you think they're coming to hear what you have to say? They're coming to hear what you heard from the market. They're not coming for you." So the said of his face lit up and he said, [laughter] If that's the case, I will speak and I will speak. She saved the day. You think they're coming for you? For him, they told, "Oh, you're coming for fine. I'm good. You want me to? I don't mind being a mic. I'm fine. I'm a good mic." He's was a very good mic. So the deba said over this story once on pudd I think I remember it was on pudd and he said that uh it's it's strange that he's sitting here you know there were thousands of people at the fab and one person speaks and everybody could be home they could learn they could din they could say tim they could have their own pudd so so he said over the story and then he said he said so he said here too you're not coming to hear what I have to say you're coming to hear what I heard from my father-in-law from the for my father from and then the Reb said like this he said it he said it because of his humility he says in this case [laughter] that's what is he going to say he says but that's the real the source of creativity is one source mada The more I am not here, the more creative it is. It's and that's what real that's what a real is a REAL MEANS THAT GOD IS SAYING IT NOT ME. THEN it's it's how do I reache? What if so why is that coming through me? The answer is after sukus after this type of love you can let go. It can't happen before sukus. That's what he's going to say. Now the last piece why if nobody will let go without love there's no such a thing could only come after should have been if it's about do it on you can't do it on only after can you let go if you let go without love you know what that means yeah it's usually uh a form of despair or uh a very deep wound this is letting go in which you become a channel for infinity. It's not letting go where like just do whatever you want. You know, it's like disassociation. Yeah. You know, people let go. It's the spear. It's yush. Yush is also letting go. It's letting go. Kill me. Yeah. Do whatever you want. Take away the job. It's fine. Fine. You could tow my car. It's the spear. You understand? It's not letting go. It looks like you're letting go, but really it's a deeper blockage. It's I'm I'm so hopeless. It's like you let go. This is a letting go which makes you now you're you're repeating God's word somehow. Now what was me repeating God's words? It's not like I I don't he knew when was learning he's not hearing a but you're tuning in. If Hashem is giving right now so basically if I'm ready to learn I'm basically telling God you're you're about to give I want to be the channel. So what's my job if I'm giving a shir really not to say anything just to listen to what is being said. How does that happen? That's why msashem is the big it's the biggest that it could be. It could be in the world. So here's the paradox. When you're talking about love it's you have to go out of ka because love is transcendence. When you're talking about it could be in because the ki is also when you're talking about love it's you go out that's what love is I love you when you go to hashem now it goes back to it goes into because the is also hashem I'm not god is not a YOU DON'T SAY ANOID TILL HE COMES TO THE WORLD THE WORLD IS ALSO ANOID THE CUP IS also anoid the kal is also ANOID SO I I CAN ALSO BE A CHANNEL. Why can't I be a channel? I'm also part of him. As long as the I is part of him, not part of something else. It's continuing. It continues. And it's it's in the belt. It's in the it's in the it's not a there's nothing that's a a contradiction is only when there's a competition. Either it's you or me. In love there's you and me, right? The more I'm in me, the less I'm you. The more I'm you, the less I'm me. But that's only in in love ine it's there's no kind there's no you and I am if there's no place where it's not there the moment I'm not in a stuck in a there's moment there's no me love so then it could all be used so my heart and my mind and my creativity and my intellectualism and my body it's all that's the of So that's it's not it's so the paradox the higher you go the more it becomes you it's becomes YOU BECOME YOU. IT'S NOT YOU. YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE'S NO YOU. THERE'S NOBODY TO LOVE. That's what really could become you. That's the only thing that can really become you cuz there's no you that contra there's a contradiction to it. People think that the highest levels of destroy self-confidence. It's the opposite. It's the only real self-confidence. All the other self-confidence is aum. It's fake. This is the only real self-confidence because there's no such thing as a self. We're busy with self-confidence as though there's a self. It never existed. It never will exist. Let go. When you let go, YOU'LL HAVE NORMAL CONFIDENCE. You'll have God's confidence. So that paradoxically it's all you. The moment of course it's you because the U is also him. Huh? No. This is there's no ins. There's no shortcuts. Is this Yeah. It could only happen after if it's not if you don't experience that level of love and bliss, you could never let go. You tell a husband or a wife, let go completely and no control. If they're not feeling trust and love, they'll never do it. The nephew Bahamas won't let you do it. And I understand why. You got to protect yourself. [laughter] I should let go. The last thing I have is not letting go. We're all busy. Why is it so hard to be present? Cuz we don't want to give up control. And we get it. You live in a crazy world. I'm not giving up control. Never mind. If somebody had abuse in their life, you're crazy. And they're right. The last time they gave up control was when they were three years old and it wreaked havoc. So why should they give up control when they're 50? Tell me why. They learned their lesson already. Huh? You don't give up control. And I and you have to understand that. Huh? It it's very tragic. But we have to hold space and be empathetic for that experience. How could I give up control? Right? That's why in marriage this is one of the hardest things of people giving up control because everybody's so busy defending themselves. If I let go, what you know what's my wife going to do to me? If she lets go, what's her husband going to do to her? Oh, you'll use me. You'll manipulate me. You'll exploit me. Right? I can't deal with that. So we sit in bulletproofs vests. You protect yourself. I protect myself. And we speak through bulletproof vests. We send messages. That's why everybody likes WhatsApp today. WhatsApp. You could remain defensive behind a rock and it's good. I send you a WhatsApp. Beautiful. I'm [laughter] My brother told me he was in a taxi with somebody and it was a classmate of his that he learned with in yeshiva. He didn't see him for many years. So he was like, you know, he was excited. How are you? Shalom. What's going on? But the guy is busy on his phone the whole time. You know, you don't let go your phone cuz somebody's sitting near you. You have to have priorities. The phone comes first. My brother didn't know what to do. So he decided he's going to text him. So he's sitting behind the in the back seat right near him and he texts him and he got an answer. [laughter] Much better way of communication. Now I know the convenience of of texting. I also do it a lot. It's very convenient because you don't have to do you know all the hakdas but the bottom line is so I sit in this protective zone and I connect to you so it's very safe and we understand it but it's not this type of augim is I'm so confident in my love to you that even if you want to wound me you're not going to be able to wound me is too powerful now do you know how much inner bliss you have to have for that. So I'm not waiting I'm not waiting for anybody to fill me up. Now you could really love if I need my wife to compliment me. So I should be able to feel good about myself today. The love is very very it's it's very it's skin deep. It's skin deep. It's still nice that you have somebody but it's it's completely it it the love is more of a craving. It's a craving to fill my void. But there's something much deeper and that is when you can really fill yourself up internally from your own soul. Now the relationship becomes an expansive experience. And then even if the person is defying you, you don't have to run away. That can only come when you are internally filled. If I'm not internally filled and you tell me something nasty, right? Your child, your somebody, I'm I'm done. I'm gone. I'm too vulnerable. Like I'm not in this relationship. You be nice. I'll be nice. But the other way means my is going to be so powerful that even when you're running away, I'm I'm present. I can have empathy. I'm so sorry that you feel you have to run away, but I know who I am and I'm going to be present. You know how powerful that is in a marriage. Sometimes there's spouses that are having a hard day or they're in a difficult situation and they're going to say things and one of the biggest challenges for husbands and wives to stay present, not run away. Can you create a suka and just keep them there? Just just be just it's almost like embrace like putting your arms around and STAYING THERE. NO, GET OUT OF MY LIFE. OKAY, I'M SO SORRY. That's how you have to feel. But I I'm I'm fine. I'm not running away. I know who you are. I know your soul. I know you're having a difficult situation. Now, I know it's this is easier said than done because it's not intellectual. It's emotional. It's like this person is telling you, you know, get out of my life. If you're like, "Okay, I'm not here. I'm done. How long can I stand like this?" You know, with with with a but you [snorts] have to learn from the suka. The suka is there a whole day. You come in, you come in. You don't come in. God is fine. I'm waiting. The hug is there. you want to go eat in your you know by the the says that you shouldn't eat or drink you know you eat in the but it's a little snack or water but says that the best thing is not even to drink water outside of the suk they're more especially he was very not to even a drink of water suk is not eaten the suk and you know even when it rains everything else in the suk so some people think it's like this crazy pressure this crazy pressure. You know, you're middle of the night, you want a drink of water. Yeah. Go to the suka. But that's only if you're not. It's really a gift. It's like you wake up in the middle of the night and there's somebody waiting to give you a hug. Somebody waiting to give you a hug. You could drink this water with a it's like a a child nursing with such kishmak or the mother putting it into the bottle and saying, "Here, go figure out your own milk." It's a whole different experience. It's the nurture. So it's like ah a drink of water is another hug. Of course I'm going to drink it in the suka. [laughter] Even when we're looking for food, they're really looking for attachment. So the suk is the deepest attachment. Okay, let's go another five minutes. I just want to finish the last vert 939. Wow. Okay. So like seven lines before is he makes you say but first you have to make him say that's the love that comes before that says before that it's here it also says just like is today it's also you make him say what is this you make him say it starts with your love you create him to say and bring it downward because of your this with love like we said before that hashem becomes that's the love that creat creates his desire to bring the downwards because remember essentially ain't so he wouldn't understand it. What creates a hashem that I will become a channel for is by me first doing this. You make him say and then he makes you say you cause him to say and then he causes you to say. You're saying is just a response to him. So it starts with which is your love. So it's your connection that trust that then causes whenever somebody sits and learns Hashem is learning parallel to him. So that's what it says in when a Jew sits down and learns. So I'm learning learning whatever I'm learning whatever safer you're learning. So is now sitting against me. He's my What does this mean? The arousal from creates the arousal spirit brings forth a spirit. My energy brings forth energy. My rises up and then it says in soci means I bring it up means I access it from above. This is what brings down the hashem that's called contoy. Means parallel where is sitting on the other side of the table mean connect. What's con where he's sitting there he's not here. So he says connect means because really you can't compare the words of a person or his thoughts when he's learning be the word of God that's going to be accessed through your words. My words are my words. His words are his words. So that's why it's called parallel to means because it's an infinite expression. So it begins with the person learning that's and that activates you cause him to be. So now what happens is that comes down. Now he causes you to activate and repeat and you become a channel for that. So it starts off with the person's initiation and the person's initiation is the sukus theip and the sukus and that's the and that creates the flow on this level and as we said before there's also the nud here that's for me to be able to really become that channel is through that experience of that connection the experience of that connection is what causes the person to be able to learn in a way of as which is creates It says in med that 2,000 years the preceded the universe. Time is also created. So before the world was created, there was no time. So it's 2,000 years before the world was created. We learned always we learned that Zman is a creation. So time was created with creation. But here kazal say no 2,000 years before the world there was what 2,000 years the whole concept of time is a creation before there was creation there was no concept of before time is part of creation and then you have to ask why 2,000 years why not 10,000 years why not a million years why not a billion years I don't know once you go in before creation so only 2,000 years so it's like a funny thing time starts at some point or it doesn't and then 2,000 years. God says, "You know what? Now it's time for 2,000 years we wait and now we create the world and then you have to wait another 2,000 years for so it's like is deep and are one. It's his will and he and his will are one." So there's no in reality where there's God. Just like there's no in reality where there's no God. There's no in reality where there's no cuz who are so there's no in reality say there's no God. So there's no in reality where there's no that's what it means means it's one who and this transcends all the worlds because this is this is hashem but the comes into the world the whole has to be manifested in the world if not it's not relatable I can't grasp infinity when I'm learning I'm learning something an idea a story mitzvah so it's it's manifested the which is completely beyond is manifested in the world. So the needs to go through a metamorphosis where it becomes manifested and camouflaged as intellect as ideas. How do I talk about infinity? I can't. You know why? Because the moment I'm talking about infinity, it's not infinity anymore. Infinity can only be experienced with the death of all ego. But the hashem comes into the first kaum is awareness understanding. That's why every story in Kumsh you can read you can understand it once said that Tanya he told his son Tanya is like it's is called he says it's like everybody learns 90 year olds learn it four year olds learn it learn it simple people learn it he says everybody understands something and nobody understands everything [laughter] everybody understands something nobody understand but something you have to understand at least kayen killed heaven whatever it is Right? Are they made from the tree? Something you understand. Is there more? Of course, it's more. But it had to go in a process. It had to go through a process of that's alp 2,000 years represents and in order for there to go into the world it had to go through that metamorphosis of al and that's why it says the I will teach you alf means to train somebody is like a trainer right alf is to learn the word alf actually means I will teach you I will teach So it has to come into al to the states of as a prerequisite to be able to even come into the world. So when a person is learning they're learning with their own words and thoughts it accesses from the which is completely higher which is connect means it's parallel to me it's above me because it's pure but it comes into a way that it can come into the world. So there's a flow for main and then now my words, my thoughts, my my teaching, my learning becomes a conduit and a channel for that experience. So it starts with so therefore [snorts] after the andus which is which is the which is the person's this [snorts] is the person's love this is the person's connection that comes from experiencing the divine love to the point that the person can let go completely so now they can come to a much deeper place where there's the complete That's that's the that's that's why it's the dancing with the what's that what's the dancing with the if you want to celebrate so you should learn it so should be you sit and you learn a lot of people would like that much more what's different dancing it's actually with the feet not even with the head Yeah, I understand. He celebrated. Imagine laavd uh a bahaval a bunch of lawyers would uh do their bar you know and how would they celebrate? They would take their law books and start dancing or doctors finish their you know their their exams their residency so they take their medical textbooks and they start dancing in the hospitals. Imagine Capitol Hill you'll have senators congressmen holding the constitution and dancing around Capitol Hill. Maybe it's not such a bad idea for America, but we would look at it as very very strange like some somebody's off. But when you come into that's what happens. You're taking a book of laws. You're dancing. What you want to open it up and learn dancing is actually not with the head, it's with the feet. But now we understand because that's the whole it's not my intellectual creativity in [laughter] it's the legs as much as the head. It's that you're a channel. You're the used to say that really the wants to dance. The wants to dance. Why does the taid want to dance? It feels so fortunate that it was given to the Jewish people. He says the problem is to dance you need legs. The doesn't have legs. So he says, "So a Jew says I'm going to become the legs of the and you'll dance. I'm just your feet." [laughter] That's the I'll be your feet. I'LL DANCE. NO PROBLEM. You want to dance. It's not even him dancing. That's the of it's not the that comes through my intellectual idea. That's the big thing. That's here. It's the it's it's the B to the which is the which is even deeper than the because it's the we should all experience the to be able to feel the bliss and the love of Hashem in the most powerful and revealed way for us and all of our brothers and sisters in the whole world especially in the holy land and then to come to town Everybody [applause] alter you could thank [laughter] you should thank even though he probably wouldn't be happy with that either but fine that that I'm not going to get involved in. Huh? Speech. Speech. Jesus.