Likkutei Torah Atem Nitzavim #3: In My Inner Heart, It Can’t Get More Perfect

Good. >> Good. The motion didn't the the are in the paras are ready they changed to white. [Music] Okay. Good morning everybody. Welcome to one and all. So last week we began to par the first mimer at which is also a very fundamental mimer onash and rash and parasit has always read beforeash it's the first it's the first mime in nitim so that means if you go to parasitim it's page 87 and we're up to chapter 3 p of gimmel in the Hebrew it's meal column column 2 in the English it's 87 on top it should say because remember the numbers repeat themselves with every so you have a few 87 so you want the 87 with this said means the last shabas of the year which was also the 28th of right before uh and uh it was which would be 1802 in the in the secular calendar. So we learned the first two chapters. The first chapter dealt with the idea of unity, what real unity looks like, the posture of unity versus the posture of fragmentation. The great principle that in holiness everything is interconnected and there's no absolute hierarchy. There's only a functional hierarchy. But just as the the head leads the body on other in other ways the leg and the feet contribute their unique function and there's a real point of connection where you don't even know what's the beginning and what's the end. The beginning is etched in the end and the end is etched in the beginning as he explained this at length of and the idea of desire says refers toash all of the sparks of the souls come back to their source and over there there's an absolute oneness coming from the public domain into the into private domain that was the first the first point and that's the 10 categories of the Jewish people and they all come together underash everything is sublimated and everybody sublimated back to their source where there's a complete oneness and unity the second chapter peric bay of the he started to explain what this unity looks like in a more specific fashion what's the connection to sh and what's the whole concept of chv and on this the pik says you're standing all today in order to go through the covenant and he starts explaining that it's like two friends that make a covenant in order that their love should never be interrupted right and this a whole a whole big and the idea is that people bond and they connect but aware very much of the fact that many obstacles in life from outside or from inside can destroy a relationship could destroy a love. So the covenant takes the relationship from a place where it can it's vulnerable to being obliterated to a place that goes what's called vidas as he put it super rational where it becomes an essential connection that could never ever be obliterated just like the love to yourself it's non-negotiable and even if you're having an argument with yourself and you're having a difficult day and you have parts of yourself that you disagree with and who doesn't right three Jews 19 opinions and most of them are in your own brain. So as a result of that, you don't say, "Okay, I'm not I'm not talking to myself anymore." Huh? >> Yeah. It's an essential relationship. So the relationship with the other sometimes you're ready to reach to graduate from the first phase to the second phase. And that's called that's the bris that he explained that they would split like an animal in two and they walk through it which represented that really it's two people but it's one body. It's so that's the element of and it creates a type of love that's even if for reason for reason there's reasons that you want to or make sense that this love should cause that this love should seize and you should drift away nonetheless you revealed an essential an essential connection and relationship where it's impossible to go away what mean impossible not impossible physically But it's like going away from yourself. There's an essential oneness that is deeper than all the explanations in the world. And therefore, even if there's explanations and there's reasons and there's factors that under other circumstances can destroy the love here, it wouldn't. It's part of the fabric of your reality. What he called and he explained this was the secret of David. Rationally, they shouldn't have been friends as we explained at length. And nonetheless they remained loyal friends and when was killed eulogized him it's in the beginning of bay and he it's one of the most powerful eulogies in the world and he says how distressed I am for my brother you have been so pleasant to me your love towards me says the word it's what tells after the sin of the golden calf it's a means it's it's wondrous it's stupendous because after the is the love that emerged that it's inseparable you're part of me I'm part of you what what part of me am I going to detach myself from because I'm having issues with myself I have to work it out but It's not it's not an option. Yeah. You're not going to be yourself. You stop stop talking to yourself. I mean, it's called disassociation and it's a tragedy when that happens. It's not it's not a way to live. So says going to come back to this. Now he continues paid a gimmel. This is just a very brief summation. I just want to announce today's class is dedicated by our very dear friend Ezra David Phillip with a blessing that may this lol elevate all of the Jewish people to superernal heights breaking every barrier and usher in a sweet new year of unity truth revealed blessings both spiritual and physical a year of victory and a year of complete redemption. Amen. And thank you to Ezra David and to you too among all of our people and all good people. Okay. So pay a gimble says very famously the garra says inashion I believe that hashem tells the Jewish people I want you to say before me malus malus means all the verses about god hashem's kingdom that we say in mus of rashash right we say all theim of of malus Why? Because I want you to coronate me on you means I want you to make me a you should coronate me. Appoint me a king on you. I also want you to speak about verses that are connected to memory remembrance that your memory should ascend before me for goodness. And how do you do all of these things through the and that's why the of the we say what's called of malus and each one has a whole set of verses from that we speak about first the theme of malus with the theme of the theme of and we blow the but so this is what the garra says what does this mean what does this mean god says I want you to say malis you should coronate me and uh and and remember and through the we saying that this day is the beginning of your the beginning of your creation. And it's a commemoration for the first day because created says that when was created he declared the miser of that we say hashemish. Hashem is a king and he garbs himself in exaltedness. Gaos is from the word go exaltedness liked. So he garbs himself in a garment of exaltedness. David Adarish said this on the day he was created which was the first rash the sixth day of creation. If creation happens on Sunday this is the first Friday which is six days after the creation of the world is created. So because that's when his presence as king as leader of the world was revealed through Adam at that time of course came from an arousal of above alone because this is preod was created. So this was only from to create. Now we commemorate that first day that first when Adam was created but this time there's somebody it's it's through it's through an arousal from below because we're here. Originally it was all Hashem decided to create the world and create and now zikur it's a commemoration for that day. How? Through the human initiative to re to arouse the revelation of his by remembering and internalizing the covenant between which is the point of the represents a deep highest level of chuva of turn which is the outcry of the voice of the sound. The is the sound of the person from the depth of the heart from the core of the heart to the point that the vessels of speech cannot limit the outcry because it's only a it's only a sound. When we blow, you don't say anything. It's not words that capture a certain emotion or angst or yearning or pining. Why? Why don't you say say what you want? You want to say something? Say it. Right. What do you have to cry? What do you tell your child? You don't have to cry. Tell Tati what you want and I'll give it to you. No. Huh? So sometimes, yeah, it could be for different reasons. He says the VA is that the clay the vessels of speech meaning the words are containers and the containers cannot limit it. It's a in the expression of your test. There's nobody to say anything. There's no words. It doesn't say because here it is. It's a which means a simple sound that comes from the depth of the heart deeper than what words could contain. The second part of which is also only a sound. It's not words. It's also a true itself can have different motions, different movements. You have a which is a straight sound called a culp and you have which says like which is like a sigh and you have trua which the gammor says inashul it's like a sa But it's all a it's not words. So you have a that's a do in other words a straight sound. You have it's a from the which is a sai that's like somebody who's misan as if you know it's a grown it's called inh. And then you have which is like and the explains why we do all of them. It says which is and they weren't sure if it's both. So we do everything could mean only what's to explain all of this. What does all of this mean? This is the foundation of what he's going to explain. But now he's we say it in the month of all the way to the says literally to you my heart says to you my heart says search for my ponim for my face your face God I will seek What does it mean? Search for my pim. It means not literally the face. It means the pim from the word ponyus. There's something called is the outside and pim. Pimmus is the inside. Panim is called pim because it captures the pimus the internal features and posture of the human soul. Because when you look at somebody's face, you know, you could see their life. You look at somebody's eyes. You look at somebody's expressions, facial expressions, facial gestures. That's the seat. It's or it's it's it's that it's the it's the it's the it's the space in the body that projects most the internal state of the person. If I look at your back, I mean, I can also see you could look at your shoulders. I could look at your but it doesn't capture the mood. Huh? The expression of emotions as much as the pun. That's why the face is called pipmius. So bakshu pai means bakshu the pimus. I want you to seek the internal aspect of my heart because in the outcry of the heart there's two dimensions there and this it's an outcry of the heart but one could come from the and one is from the now what he's going to explain is not what people may assume you say external it's like fake it's superficial is everything is is meaning on the outside it's a show that's not the is talking about is not even that's that's nothing it's it's a it's not um it's not it's whatever I don't know what the word for it is but it doesn't doesn't make it into the equation let's put it that way here is very authentic it's authentic it's not fake it captures though an element that is in your soul you understand the doesn't mean you have an expression that writes that in labage the biggest insult that you could tell a person was you're a worst insult me you're not real you're not authentic yeah a pimi pi meant there's somebody to deal with you're an authentic person you say what you mean you mean what you say you're present there's somebody a kiten is it's on the outside everybody does this okay let also do it. It's just, you know, going with the flow. There's no uh there's no real mitsas. It's just like a copy, you know, put in a copy machine, make 25 copies. I'm just copying. So, so that's already said that was the biggest insult because there's there's nothing to work with. If my home is I'm just trying to fit into somebody else's expectations and you know, look, you know, where where the tide is going and that's what I want to become. So, there's not there's nothing authentic to work with. But that's not what we're talking about here. Here is MS. It's not it's part in the sense that the soul has different layers and sometimes I'm in touch with a more external soul and sometimes but is just it's more external. I just wanted to emphasize that. When you say he puts in the whole thing into here, this is like it's it's everything, but he calls it. What's it comes from? Das. What type of das? Das is the intimate awareness the meditation but not when he uses the word there because we always say is right it's not just knowledge information it's not data it's connection it's knowledge that informs you in a very deep place generally das is the idea that I'm not I don't just know something as an external fact information but it's something that you really connect with in other words it's real internal So he says the das and his bu in the infinity of hashem and hispashtus spashas means the expansiveness of the light of infinity on every creation. First of all to create everything from nothing to something. All the means all the legions of heaven and everything on the planet. You know the entire universe is all a manifestation of divine energy everything. And every day like we say in doning he recreates myas and we say in ding [Music] those are words means you are the life of everything. So a relationship with hashem really means a relationship with reality. It's touching the core of reality like we say in the morning, right? You made the heavens and the seas, the oceans, everything contained in heaven and earth and you give life. You animate everything the touching the inner fabric of reality. It vivifies, it animates, it gives life to every single of creation beginning with the person himself or herself. When a person expands his das, in other words, when a person dedicates time for that, the Das should be connected to this and immersed in this with expansiveness or in these ideas or similar ideas. So the moment it's if it's if it's sincere, it's authentic, there's a there's a yearning that comes out of this. It's a yearning that I want to be connected to you. The heart wants to be connected to Hashem to draw after him to experience with a desire and a thirst because this is the only MS. This is the only truth of reality. Everything else is fake news. So everything else is not it's not a real connection. So but this needs do because intuitively it's not what we see is not what you naturally see with your physical eyes. We naturally see with our physical eyes whatever we see everybody in their own way but it's basically the physical world the physical body etc. So one requires the das and the in the truth of reality that the truth of reality the truth of every person's reality is only one thing and that is and when when when the das picks that up it affects the nervous system. What do we mean it affects the nervous system? This is what I want. This is what I crave. I I I don't want other things. Why don't I want other things? Because it's connecting. It's like a wax museum. You know, I could connect to a real person or I could connect to a image to to to a wax. It looks the it looks the same, but one is a clip and one is just a shell. It's not real. Or I could connect to a real person. Even when you're connecting to a real person, there connecting to the outside, which means it's superficial. And then there is the real the real reality. Anything outside of this, it's just a substitute for reality. So ultimately, it's like it's a nauseating energy. It's like dead energy. It's dead energy. That's the word. So therefore, I'm looking for the first dominion. >> Huh? >> You're saying the is Yeah. Yeah. That's how that's why I made that qualification because it's just it's not being garnished. Huh? It's called is relative to Pineus. That's it. Is relative to PM. That's what makes it [Music] right and the so this creates a creates because if the if this is really really integrated so then it's this is what I want this is what I thirst because this is the truth it's the truth of reality it's it's It's it's it's the soul. It's the soul. You want your soul. You want to live with your soul. You want real real relationships. Think about it in terms of people. If I connect to, you know, sometimes there's a con conversation. It's just it's like it's like it's not a real conversation. You're wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. My mask is connecting to your mask. My mask is trying to impress your mask. It's a very dead type of relationship. It's a very dead type of connection. You know, flattery or just fear or just being yah. A real connection is I want to connect to you. I want to connect to your real energy, to your heart, to your soul, to to your nervous system, to your internal nama. So the same is true in every aspect of life. A relationship with Hashem means a relationship with the the real the real reality, the real energy of the universe, the real energy of me, the real energy of you, and the real energy of whatever I'm in contact with. So that's the posture of connection which creates and I want to stay away from that which is not that this is the says in the says after Hashem following Hashem they will go he will shout he will roar is roar like a lion. So this is a an outcry a roar that comes from the external heart meaning and that's what's called they're going behind God just like in the chariot that saw he saw the face of the lion and the eagle and the and the and the ox and the person. So the says the face of the lion was on the right it represents spiritually the whole camp of the angel their outcry and their avoid is focused on the right. What does right mean which is love which is the right side. the depth of the love of this of this lion which represents the whole of the camp of all of the angels that are connected to love which is on the right side. So they have a tremendous love and a desire to be subsumed to be nullified in the light of which creates them. Why? Because they have a some comprehension. They're aware of the fact that they're being created from nothingness into somethingness and that their energy and their existence and their flow that comes to them every single moment is divine. And this creates a tremendous this is where I want to be. I want to surrender into this. I don't want to be separate from this. So represents the outcry of this area which spiritually is the whole and in a person's this is when there is a a deep awareness or experience of a deeper fabric of reality. Now this takes this is work because it's going over from the outer experience of what seems real to what is really real. But the moment the person has that I don't want anything outside of this then bal and scholus becomes the deepest deepest desire because anything else is just a substitute for reality. It's like living in the posture of egotism. The egoic mind the fake egoic mind. I don't want that. I I want I want surrender. That's the desire as he puts it. This is very deep. It's I want to be subsumed in the because that is the only real energy. There's no other real energy. You can only block that energy which is what clip is. But I don't want to be there. So in a person's life if you think about this in terms of this is mameish what he's describing you know they call it like being in flow what does being in flow mean he says all they want is to be in the there's a flow that's happening between I just want to be there I don't want to go out of it I don't want to substitute it with something else that's what it is you're being created right now can you just be that channel I'm a channel that ble is the greatest source of self-confidence because everything else is trying to take my ego, extricate it from the flow, right? And sculpture it as something real and then invest it with properties and qualities and now I'm busy finding how can I impress the world to that you could believe that I really exist. So for one person, if you give me compliments or you validate me, this will finally prove that I exist. And every person in their own way, the ego figures out at a very young age what it needs in order to be able to be a be a person. But there's a torture over there. There's a torturous energy because I'm literally taking something dead and investing it with fake life. And therefore the confidence is so skinde and in five minutes the whole balloon can can uh pop and we start all over again because essentially it's a bottomless pit. It's like a cup that has a hole and you're pouring water and water and water and nothing stays because because you're barking up the wrong tree. What's the solution to all of this? Surrender his scalless. When I realize that who am I really? It's I'm just a channel for divine energy. So on one hand I'm nothing. On one hand I'm everything. When you surrender to the source, you are the source. You're a channel for the source in your own way. You don't have to be anything else. There's nothing more you could be than that. You relate to what I'm saying? This is the of life. This is it. This is it. This liberates us. liberates us from all forms of ego which means greater insecurity too. Insecurity is also separateness. What's insecurity? I'm nothing. I'm this. I have none. I had somebody at my table not long ago and for Shabas meal and uh the person said things was a teenager >> and before he said anything he said I don't know of what to say I don't even understand what I'm going to say and it's stupid and then he said what he said and it was pretty brilliant so at some point I asked him why the need for this introduction every time so he told me cuz that way people don't expect anything to come out. So if it's stupid they'll be fine and if it makes sense it's already above it's already a wow wow wow. So set expectations as zero. The pages are zero you can't get you can't fail. Right? If the if the mark on the test is zero you can't fail. You got a 10 you're a genius. That's what he told me. That itself was pretty insightful. You understand? He was prepping the situation because one of my children was giving was was rebuking me for the fact that sometimes in a he hears me say this is going to be an amazing vart. It's going to be very deep. He says why don't you trust people's intelligence? If it's deep they'll know that it's deep and if it's amazing they'll know and if not what's going to help you. I don't like when you do that. So this boy says, I do the opposite. I say it's not deep. It's stupid. It's ridiculous. There's nothing to hear. And then it's like, oh wow, there's something to hear. All the different postures that we have, emotional, psychological. The moment I go into a place of separateness, it's a place of death. It's a place of torture. That's explains what does it means even their life is dead energy. It's dead. It's dead energy. It's stripping the it's stripping the the the the facade from the core. And the same is true with anything you relate to in the world. It could be a piece of food, right? Do you see the you're going to eat differently? You're going to look at your body. If you see it's a different respect. First of all, there's respect. Respect for nature, respect for your body, respect for everything. What are you respecting? You're respecting the truth, the energy. And I don't have to be defensive. Which part has to be defensive? The part that's afraid that it's going to stop existing when you challenge it. When you go into flow, what are you afraid of? What are you afraid? The parts that don't really exist never existed. And the parts the part that really exists, don't worry, it's not being obliterated because somebody made a comment. So this is what it means that in this consciousness that obviously in the in the angelic world this is very obvious this is intuitive for them this is that cry it's that thirst don't take me away from this like we say you know has you know the niggan you can hear the lyrics and the the the the tune are are completely seamless. So he compares it to an a which is an animal like a ram. It's um it's I forgot how you say an ayle in English. Huh? Not a gazelle, but there's a word for it. It's not an ay. It pines. It pines. stands are flash floods when there's like a a flood in the desert. So it's like with such intensity so after a few days of not having water it's like as the flash flood comes like he wants that flash flood. So that's the this outcry. This is the timan. And the more sensitive you are, the more you feel this your thirst. And by the way, this thirst is not always translated as a thirst for the divine. Sometimes sadly, it's translated as an addiction to other things. But if you break down the addiction, you'll see you're looking for connection. But I don't know how to get connection through any other way. So this one gets connection through this type of exciting experience and this one through another thrill and this one through another thrill. But if you really break it down, what they're really looking for is they're looking for some real energy. But if I don't have that, either I have to escape it and drown it or I run to things which I think will give me that energy, will give me that connection only to fail me and then tomorrow or the next day I need something even more intense. >> Huh? >> Yeah. because you weren't connecting with what you're really looking for. >> Huh? >> Of course, it's a source of addiction. Of course, it's a source of addiction. Yeah. Sheep don't get become addicted usually. I mean, if they hang out with people and you're giving them, I don't know, cocaine, maybe, >> huh? But yeah, no, it's addiction is a response to pain, right? There's a void and somehow whatever I'm using is soothing the void. Either I think it's going to give me the connection delusionally or it's running away from the connection. It's running away from the pain, from the anxiety. >> It's it's numbing. It's therefore tomorrow I need much more because I realize even after this the pain is there. So now I need double and triple because essentially I'm looking for something that this object will never be able to satisfy. You can't you can't elaborate on this long enough even though the m is going to the next level but this is it's it's the essence of everything. What are you really searching for? What's the attachment you're really looking for? The answer is you're looking for your own reality. And what is your reality? reality is and there will be nothing in the world that will compete with this. Nothing. Because if this is the only reality and you are an embodiment of this reality, anything else is fake news. I once saw a beautiful marshall somebody sent me very very nice mushel said you know you go to the beach and the wave rises from the ocean and it makes its grand stand you know it it gets it gets everybody's attention you know the wave is coming for how long 5 seconds maybe 10 seconds imagine at that moment as the wave rises it says to itself wow I'm a big guy and look everybody is obsessed with me. And everybody is like, "Well, the wave is coming." Either they're afraid or they're excited, but they're obsessed, right? The wave is coming. And he starts internalizing his greatness and his grander and how powerful he is. Those five seconds. And it's like, "Wow, I finally made it in life." Like the whole ocean, they're all like stom garnished, but I'm on the top. I made it to the top. I've risen. And everybody is like looking at me and everybody's excited and the kids are running around. And how long does that last for? 5 seconds, right? Then what happens? It's called crash. Literally, you crash and sudden the wave says, "Okay, that's it." Call the kadesh. You could say kadesh. The levels of anxiety and depression of that wave. Who can even understand? But what happens if this wave somehow has a secret to continue that, you know, for another 5 seconds, another 5 seconds, another 5 seconds, another month, another 6 months, another 20 months? What's the only solution for the wave? You're just part of the ocean. You're the ocean. You went up, you went down. You're the ocean. You don't need to be anything else. You're not anything else. >> Yeah. You're the ocean. The ocean didn't die. That's what it means to be in flow. Of course, sometimes you're chosen to go up. Then there's a different a different mission. Like the b say I spoke last week from the word in English there's a word for it. It's called equinimity, right? You know the word >> equinimity, composure, balance. from the word equal. Why? Because if so, you're a manifestation of that flow. So like the surfers know sometimes the wave is going up, sometimes the wave is going down. And that itself is just being part of the flow. It's not separate. It takes das. It takes his benus because it's so easy to fall out of this. So I need to go back into it. And by the way, this doesn't mean there's no pain. There's pain. There's especially pain in the separation. And that's the comes out and says, "Why are you calling this? This seems like to be the spiritual heartbeat of humanity, of the world. This means being in touch with the heartbeat of the universe. Why is this? The the reason it's called is not because it's external. It's fake because it's born from the it's born from the ray from the glimmer from the light the expansiveness of the light of Hashem on the creation. It's a par it's it's a play on words from to that space where the brains where the comprehension of the can reach what's the deepest place I can reach consciousness my consciousness that's what I have access to my brain has access to what my brain has access to what is it and everything has consciousness to different agrees. Everything has consciousness. Everything is divine energy. But it's a divine energy that is tailor made and custom made to that which my brain can pick up according to its identity and its limits. You know, the frog has its way of looking at the world. It has a brain and the cat has its way and the gazelle and the deer and the squirrel and the groundhog and the human being. And each one of us is channeling that which we could channel which is a certain ray array of of infinite divine light which is what creates you and that's what you can hold on to. And holding on to that is holding on to your life force. It's holding on to your energy. That's your energy. It's your spiritual heartbeat. It's your spiritual energy every according to its er according to its capacity. You can't compare the black hole to the sun. You can't compare the consciousness of an apple tree to a mountain. You can't compare the pebble to a droplet of of of of water to a flake of snow to the consciousness of a lioness or a tiger or a cheetah or a leopard. Each one is manifesting consciousness in its own unique way according to its limits. And even the deepest soul and the nra right you have so that yeah their their their consciousness is much larger they're experiencing much more they don't exist in clip of worlds and so the ray that god chose to be able to animate this creature with and give you your identity that's what you're holding on to >> huh >> I'd be happy if I have five minutes outside of this If you live in this space, so why would he continue even something you can't even comprehend or relate to? >> That's a beautiful question. That's a beautiful question. You're saying you would be happy just to live 5 minutes in the first space of so why would he jump into a space that who can even relate to this? I love the question. ask another question. How did he even know about the second space? >> He perhaps. >> So that's what we really have to understand. Okay. So let's see a little bit of the second space and then we'll see. I think we'll we'll have a little bit of an at least something. If you talk about Hashem himself, talk about Hashem himself for a moment. Everything we were speaking about was not about Hashem. It was about me. The truth of me is Hashem. It was about the way God becomes my posture which is beautiful, right? It's the way divinity is tailor made to me. It's the ray of light that animate from the smallest to the biggest. And based on how much my consciousness is open, I'm unblocked. I will feel it more. I will love it more. I will desire it more. Granted, what about the the creator in his essence? He himself says exalted. We say his name is exalted all alone. Even the shame which is not you, it's your name. Right? Even that's al that's alone. No thought can grasp him. It's expression of and therefore we say I Hashem have not changed just like precation we say just like precreation you're completely one the same is true also postcreation because in that state there's no change that oneness like we say this peace and dvening right after what do we say he gives light to the world? So we're speaking about the grander of creation. Then we say the king who is exalted alone may from then he's praised and exalted and glorified from the days of the world meaning from the beginning of the creation. Have compassion explains what do these words mean? May what's then? From then when is from then? From 1982 from 1782 from 1482. What's may o? So he says may o means precreation. The mel is from pre-creation. The mel which is his name was but now there is the world. There are the days of the world. He still remains praised and glorified and exalted. It's not manifested in them in an integrated way in their own consciousness. Like we say is fire. Why is it compared to fire? Fire departs upwards metaphorically and it doesn't come down. So you have to remember and he starts explaining every hashbah every flow from the light of a siphon to the world is a it's coming down it's going through an evolution from a higher place to a lower place and this is compared to water. This is what water does. Water always seeks for the lowest space where it can reach. So every every element of hashah of flow from in any world from the highest to the lowest is the water descending. This can only happen after many which are filters restrictions and the light enclosing itself in so many different levels and so many different veils to eclipse the revelation of elus in its essence. Why does it have to becliped? So that this world shouldn't cease to be they will be like they were never their existence will be like they were never here and they'll return to to the state of nothingness like they were. Therefore it has to go through all this in order to allow for the existence of an identity of any world. If you wouldn't have this, if you wouldn't have this yerida, this the the the the light descending meaning camouflaging, manifesting, filtered, contracted, restricted. So what happens? Everything reverts to the way it was, which is pure is completely subsumed in his essence, which is infinitely transcendent. The moment you speak about the revelation of in its essence, the concept, what's a flow. You're part of the flow. It's a flow to you. The whole word is not you can't call him. You can't call them in Yiddish. It's called what's mean the higher. What does it mean? Wherever you are, it's higher. It's not may it's what's is wherever you are it's going up because anywhere you are whatever you're grasping is already after aum it's a restriction [Music] he's he's he's he's teaching us this so that wants us to understand [Music] Ah, [Music] there's a lot of those there's O Isus here that he's teaching us. Even the mel the word melik which by definition means the king. So there's a relationship that's the name still may it's completely alone there's no mitas outside of that I now there's a world it's still even when there's there's precreation even now it remains once you get that now the first thing is can you have compassion on the distance from reality on the distance we experience from reality So what what what does all of this mean? [Music] Huh? >> Have compassion on the distance from reality from this reality of where their oneness is still the same like precation to the way I'm experiencing it now. [Music] Get in touch with what you're not in touch with. >> Get in touch with >> So you're saying get in touch with not what you're not in touch with, but really it's much deeper than that. It's getting in touch with with everything. It's really getting in touch with everything. It's getting it's getting in touch with the ultimate true reality. Listen, this is this is a a very serious shift here. The contrast between the first thing we spoke about, the second thing we spoke about. The first thing we spoke about is what is tuning in to the spiritual vibe of reality, your own and everybody else. Right? That's that was the whole idea. looking for truth. I don't want to be separate. I want to be in flow 24/7. That's what I want. I thirst for it. And when I go out of it, it feels nauseating. It feels nauseous. It's actually It is It is nauseating. You could vomit. It's like lies. It's lies. So, I want to go back there. This is all being aware of the fact that there's a flow. Creation is a dynamic. Nothing is asis. If you look at a leaf, you look at a tree, it's speaking to you. It's part of flow. It's a manifestation of a lus. Everything is a manifestation of a lus. Everything. It's very easy to get out of this. It's so easy. I'm going back to the first level because we we want we want to stay small, safe, and in control. What do you mean? I control the day. I have a plan. I have a schedule. I'm going to make money. I have to go here. I have to go there. I have to go there. And it's true. True. We were created with agency in order to do something, not just to sit on the couch. But as I'm doing my job, to be able to be in that state of consciousness and to be able to be in that state of flow of really realizing, of course, I'm a conduit. He wants me to be a conduit. I'm supposed to channel the energy through my mind, through my heart, through my arms, through my legs, through my activities, through my initiatives, through my love. But I'm channeling. I'm not controlling. The wave is part of the ocean. I want to give another mushell for this. Imagine you have a bottle of water, okay? And the bottle of water is filled with water and it's in the ocean and it has a cap on it, okay? And it's filled with water cuz you filled it up. And then you put a cap in it and you tighten it and you hold on to this bottle and you believe that the only water that exists is in this bottle. And if somebody comes and starts tampering with this bottle of water, you go crazy. You go to war and you separate the bottle from the ocean. The bottle from the ocean. You separate it literally. And that's what you hold on to. The moment you open the cap and you let there be a flow. Of course, we're all a bottle. I'm a bottle. You're a bottle. But the first level is but you're the ocean. The bottle is channeling a little bit of water. That's disive. That's the ray, right? So yeah, I am a bottle. I have me. You have you. I don't have you. I can't be you. You can't be me. You have your brain. You have your experience. You have your life. I have my life. And there are differences. There's diversity. But don't put the cap on the bottle and shut it off and isolate it and disconnect and the only thing is this water and I will fight for this water. You're there's so much more grandness here. That's the idea of the mikvah hash, right? You you open you open you let you let the the water in the bur kiss the other water. What's death according to this? What's death? Death is the cap opens up and the water of the bottle just merges with the ocean. Don't worry, nobody dis You didn't disappear. You went back to the ocean. It's painful because we only see the bottle. So, it's like where are you? You're gone. You're not gone. You're in the ocean. That's the of right. No such a thing. Soul didn't die. There's no such a thing from our perspective. Yeah. I want to look at you. I want to touch you. It's very painful, of course. But the truth is, right, it's it's nitski. It's it's eternal. So that's all accessing the water in the bottle, so to speak, and not closing it all from the source. But what am I channeling? I'm channeling the water in the bottle. I can't channel. I'm not the ocean. I'm the bottle. I'm I'm a I'm a channel. I have my little flow. And every creation has their flow. says let's talk now about the source of everything Hashem himself and the answer and I have nothing to say over there right it's like the ray of the sun you have one ray it comes into your house and it's beautiful but that's not the whole sun it's a ray of it's a ray so if you talk about that you say even the of melik which means the way hashem is defined by his name even is also what do we mean? What do we mean? What does it mean he's alone? It means that in that space there's no other reality outside of there to be anything that defines itself as reality. Even as consciousness that is divine, that reality needs to go through so many filters and concealments for there to be an existence that can call itself an existence. for there to be a bottle. But the moment you go into the of what what's the reality? The reality is everything is ain't everything is ain't scythe. So it's lvad that's what's pre precreation postcreation in that sense everything is also lvad right like the bottle submerged in the ocean you only see the ocean like the fish in the ocean it's all part of the ocean it's all part of a it's all part of pure infinity but what do you mean I am here I am I sure that's the may the comes into mind and goes down and down and down and down filters filters filters until I can experience myself my real self, my spiritual self. And that's the Maya. But higher and higher and higher now. Wherever you grasp it, you can't hold down the fire. You can't I got the fire. I'm channeling the fire. You don't channel fire. You burn up in fire or run away. You could jump into the water. You can have a good mikvah, have a good swim, enjoy the water. either you stay away or there's nothing left I can't control it's always it defies it's always higher higher higher his talcus so every of every of that's what he says always aid it's always a what would be if there was no what would be if the was revealed so says all the worlds would go back to what they were what were Okay. What does it mean? Means there's nothing outside of nothing. Means alone. Alone doesn't mean there's no world. There could be a world, but the whole world over there is one with so there's no experience of it's all it's the way it was. It was even the melik aspect. So now it's different. No, I'm a [Music] really that's the same truth. True. There are the concealments and the that allow for the perception of my experience in the essence. In that state everything is just a it's not there's a bottle channeling it. It's only the ocean itself. So says there's a parenthesy here. What's his conclusion here? From this state, from here comes a different outcry. Not to separate from this unity. The heart is on fire with a flame that goes up on its own higher than Tomvidas. It's beyond rationality that the soul wants to pour out back into the bosom of its father to surrender the soul in oneness. You can ask a question. What does it have to do with me? You just said I'm postum. No, no, no. The nation is part of in the that's where you come from and therefore you will never ever know yourself if you don't know this part of you. >> It's it's who you really are. This is you're not rooted in the your essence originates in that oneness in that infinite oneness. So anything else ultimately is a real distraction from who I am and what I want and what I need. Whenever used to say that says the middle of would say right you all know what was describing was describing Yeah. the natural organic state of the soul when there's no blockages whatsoever. When you're completely in touch with who you are, that's >> huh? to something else. >> This this this this is what you need. This is what you want. You're not looking he's not looking for anything else. Everything that when said that isn't that an I don't want anything really you don't want anything. You have a wife. You have children. I understand he wasn't looking for a billion ruble. Fine. I understand that he wasn't that type of you don't want anything. Ganed. What's Ganedan? What do you look I said he wasn't interested in kgul fine some of us like kougal that wasn't that did not speak to him but Grenaden is dus what's grenaded what what happens in Grenadian they're not eating pizza in Grenaden you thought they were >> huh >> healthy people even here don't eat It's a Gaden. [Laughter] What was he saying? I'm not I don't want Ghana. I want What? What? It's What do you think happens there? So explains, man. We learned in I don't want the I want you. His heart wasn't less open. It wasn't like, oh, he wasn't interested. It's like a His heart was really open. It was channeling not just array. It was channeling the whole reality. That's called infinite emotion. That's called infinite love. That's that's now you're alive. Now you're really alive. It's not just going out of the ego being a channel. It's going out of identity as anything outside of pure infinity of pure oneness. And here the deepest desire of the person is this. The deepest desire of the person is vas with this because this this is everything. So the first thing is also it's which experiences experience itself as a channel and and and that's what I'm manifesting in. It's it's it's it's experiencing the source of who you really are. You're not mush atmos and therefore that is your true state of existence. That's your true state of posture completely completely subsumed in the essence of everything. I do have to say one thing even you can't experience. It's very hard to experience for example when we're angry or we don't feel safe because when I don't feel safe all I'm trying to do is protect myself. We have to understand that. And whenever I'm protecting myself it's very hard to be in flow because I'm defensive. I need to go into a very very deep place of in order to be able to experience even you understand what I'm saying because if I'm if if it's a competition here and I'm busy protecting myself I'm just being hurt so I all I have to protect my egoons No, this take this this this this gives a person much more responsibility. >> But it's not responsibility with ego. >> If you're really living there, you would basically not care about >> you care about everything because everything has an infinite significance. You can ask a bigger question. If it's mulvad, so what do you mean I have this? What I have this? Do you have a heart? The answer is we we we we can't we can't understand it in concrete terms in terms of I'm not here so why you giving me this mimer if believed is why you saying this mime who's saying the mimer you just said so why you saying this mime so you're here to say the mime you have a mouth there's people listening you're talking to people who don't exist so that's what the people are notif what the of is not a contradiction to the It's just not a battle. It's not separate. It's all that >> of course is not afraid of change. Doesn't mean there's no world. God is the only God think there's no world. I didn't change everything is the same is with everything with everything is. It's like the light of the sun inside the sun. It's like say in the words before they left the speaker. The words are all there but they're inside. They're not separate. >> That's the It's It's be preum presum you have everything but it's not separate. You understand what I'm saying? >> We need to have the ego or it's coming because >> this can't come from the ego. The ego doesn't even know what we're talking about. Like what in the world do you want? Somebody got to pay bills in this place. Like what are you talking about? Somebody has to protect me. Like what are you? The ego doesn't even know what we're talking about. You can't even begin to approach this with ego. Even the first level, the ego doesn't really know what you're talking about. >> Have to pay bills. Now, part of that is you do have to pay bills, right? >> Some of us, I mean, hopefully not everybody maybe, but some of us have to pay bills. >> Boss had to pay bills. He was also arrested. a lot of legal fees. >> I'm I'm thinking one nuance. >> And we eat and we drink and we sleep and we have a life physical life. But on the contrary, this is what makes life really livable in it's the outcry never to separate myself from the source. in the pinia it's that the only real real thing I'm looking for is complete complete oneness to the point that there is nothing outside of that oneness now obviously life is a pendulum it's not like you know we go from different states we all know that we go from one state to another state and we fall out completely right he he's describing here if you were in touch with the quintessential atomic energy of your soul and your benef what does it look like I know that I'm not in touch with it a lot right but in that moment where all blockages are removed and you could see your deepest state of being and consciousness what what does it look like what is it what what is it and the answer is it's it's it's m can't really comprehend. >> It's not about comprehend it. It's comprehension is another form of that channels the energy through the brain which is a beautiful thing in a limited way and the brain you need to use till it reaches its limit and then you say okay thank you and now I'll go myself. >> Can you trip it? Can you get there in a trip in a meditation and it's happening? Can you go or it's just an intellectual understanding? No, nothing to do with intellect. Intellectually you can't go anywhere. >> Can we go there? >> I think of course you can go there. And I think but I think that it's really it's a gift. It's a moment of coherence. It's a moment where everything is perfect. You know, I'll use it in these words. It's a space where when you come into that space, you realize that every moment of time, every moment, every every centimeter of space and every experience in history, it's all one, coherent, perfect. It's beyond time. It's beyond space. It's beyond matter. Everything converges into oneness. It's a perfect moment of coherence. Everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be in the most exalted, beautiful way. Just like precation, just like precation. And there's no mistakes. And you're in the most exalted place of infinite infinite oneness. And everything comes together and it's absolute coherence. >> And my problem is at that space there's no way I could write a check to pay bill. >> Go there and tell us. >> I'm I'm I'm I'm not sure. I'm not sure. You'll write a check as a of Hashem. And if God wants you to play the pay the plumber who's going to have money for rish and sukus that's a beautiful thing that's channeling atmos that all the time >> we are in that space all the time that's his point is not talking about god we our problem is the word god that kills everything the the greatest atheistic word in the world is god god god is you and you and you and you and you who's this ani like by us ani means me. So God is like, I didn't change. You're a loser. I didn't change. Yeah, we're all in that spaceold. And that's the point. It's not God. It's we. It's it's everything. >> We don't feel >> I know that feel. >> Yeah. Of course, we don't feel, but we we are there all the time. Now, you'll say, "Look at the news. What are you talking about? Read the news." So, we live in a crazy world and there's a lot of death and tragedy and evil. Forget about bills. Bill's mailer. What about suffering and pain and anguish and sickness and death and murder? I mean, I don't have to describe to you what the world looks like, right? It's not what you see on most websites. This may the headline, everything is perfect. Just like before creation, coherence. Everybody's exactly where they have to be. Perfect world. I never saw such a headline. Forget the New York Times. Fine. >> Not even on April Fool's Day. >> Huh? Not even April's Fool's Day. Yeah, >> that's why if you want to know the news, you learn in the morning. You don't go to websites. That's the truth. If you want to know the real news, you want to know fake news, fine. Go to the newspapers. You'll get fake news. No, of course. Listen, there's different postures of reality. There is a and there's there's a higher level of a lower level of unity in the is this is the truth when all the blockages are gone. If you can have a moment like that, it's a gift. It's a gift. We we can open our hearts to it. But the ultimate experience can't come from me because it's not something that you can grasp. It's a gift that comes from reality. If God wants to gift it to me, we can make preparations. We can let go. We can learn, we can tune in, but it's not an intellectual experience. The moment this becomes an intellectual experience, it's a travesty. I have no better word for it. It's a tra even the first thing is not intellectual experience. The intellect is only good that's better than talking about other things. If you got to talk about something, this is good to talk about. But it's not about words. You know when Alba would say my m he would start rolling on the ground. You know that they they cushioned the the the shulna because he bumped his head and he was bleeding. So they cushioned it. Why did he start rolling on the ground? What? Because if you're experiencing this, everything is different. Your whole nervous system is dancing. When the Reb would say a mime, I remember before every mime, he would tie a handkerchief on his uh on his hand. People didn't see it was under the table but by they would sing a niggan before the mime he would tie a handkerchief on his hand and then afterwards he would take it off and wipe his face. So I when I was a kid I did that and I was told that they used to do this because they wanted something physical outside of them to hold them down to ground them. What because this was it was an experience. You're going there. Now what does it mean you're going there? Where you going? Where you going? You're going up Mount Everest. But experientially when our we have a lot a lot of blockages. We know that we have wounds and traumas and blockages on many levels. Psychological, physical, emotional, right? When we go there to that moment of coherence, everything is exactly as it needs to be and everything converges and in that point everything is lavad. >> Huh? >> Sometimes. Yeah. Everything is lavad. What does it mean? Everything is lavad. Even this cup of coffee is lavad. Lvade doesn't mean there's no world. If there's no world, why are you teaching me a mimer? Stop contradicting yourself. People don't realize he's saying, you don't exist. You stop stop trying to make gains with people. No, you exist as everything is everybody is in this state all the time. However, means I made it simp and I want I know he didn't leave it like this like before creation. He could have left it like this. He didn't leave it like before creation. Why? Because he wanted we should choose this. We should choose trust. We should choose connection. So that's part of it. It's not like something to lament. Oh, I think I exist. Yeah, you're supposed to think you exist. I hope you think you exist. >> You don't have to pay your bills. >> On the contrary, if you don't pay your bills, so then why did he have to do this? So go back to pre-creation in we would all be lad and I wouldn't be sitting here teaching you this mimer. You know why? Cuz I would also be in lad. I would also be quiet. >> So the biggest is not that he was rolling on the floor. We were able to hear. >> Yeah doesn't mean there's no heart. If it's where's their heart that's also plious means there's a state of consciousness in which consciousness is not separate from truth >> situation >> it's complete one the bottle and the ocean are one God is not afraid of bottles he's not afraid of waves but it's all there it's all inside it's even Allow me my asylum. And therefore, I need empathy for the fact that I feel so separate. For the fact that I feel so separate and I'm busy chasing my ego or my insecurity. Wow. Can you have compassion? This is who you really are. Imagine you're infinite, right? Imagine you have a billion dollars in your bank account and you're fighting with somebody over $25 that he owes you. You take him to court and you spend 60 years in court because he owes you $10,000. Nobody told you you got a billion dollars in your account. I mean, I'm just giving a a physical mushel, but you get the point. You're a homeless beggar when you own a beautiful, beautiful estate. Just nobody told you. They never gave you the papers. So, you're a beggar. You're in a subway. You're fighting. You kill somebody in the subway cuz they took your sleeping bag in the subway. You ever see the wars in the subway? >> Huh? Yeah. We spoke before. The point here is it's a it's it's it's Do you know who you are? is also no ego. No ego at all. That's why it's very deep. So why are we calling it? Because you're capturing the outer layer of divine reality. And ultimately the soul doesn't want that. It's important because in that state of consciousness that's what I want to hold on to. But there's moments of I want you for this. You must also feel complete safety. Reb could only feel this about Hashem because he felt that Hashem feels that about him. I only want you. I'm not going to open up and let go on this level if I feel that I'm going to get a stab in my back when I get there. Oh, who are you, Bakl? You understand? trust >> to trust that in your that that God in his intimate self loves you like you're really part of that. That's very That's very heavy. Really? Me? I'm busy like trying to figure out if anybody likes me. Like, >> huh? Let's just finish this paragraph. Hale. So David says, "Look for my pious please. I want you to help me find it. Look for that. Don't look for anything else." How can you search for my when I search for here? It comes together behind God. It's the hind part of God. What's the hind part of Hashem? It's like when you throw something over your back. It's not your intimate presence because it has to go through so many filters and in order to access it. From there comes the cry the roar of the lion from of that's but if you want the this comes from I'm searching for your face when it's when you're only in touch with the z and the from that you roar like a lion my heart is on fire I want you what do I want I want the ray I want the experience I want the oneness I I don't want to be an ego. I want to I don't want to be a nauseating energy. I want to be an authenticity. But that's all that's the way is communicated through but this is when you search for the what's the essence now you'll uncover when you look at the pim is what what's the what's the response to that when you feel that the truth of reality is beyond any restrictions it's pure a scythe so that's what I want I want to be in that face. I don't want anything else. [Music] And when the soul goes there says this is infinite. It's the deepest bliss in the world because you realize you don't need anything. Not only you don't need anything, you're in the most perfect place. And all you want is don't separate for a second from that oneness. from that oneness and it's beyond words because it's not contained in any identity. There's no word that can capture this. Huh? from my depth. That's why we say this. When a person does tr from the depth of their heart, they feel how the distance from Hashem is so bitter and so nauseating and so difficult and it touches you in the core of your soul. So you trigger the same thing by Hashem. Hashem, I call you out from concealment. I get your pimus. He tes me when I go to my depth because there's such remorse. This comes from pain. I so don't want the distance. So that yearning, I call you out from your concealment to get your pony. My pmus brings out your pineas after the parenthesis from a distance he's he I see him. In other words, when I when I experience the distance, it creates such a yearning and that arouses from Hashem also to give me his pmas. When you're touched at the core of your soul by the distance, that's what catapults you to be able to experience. Nothing like it. A memory is only on something that's distant, not something that's in front of you. I don't have to remember something that's in front of me. A memory is a distant thing. I remember it. You remember the world. What's the God has a good memory? He doesn't have amnesia. He doesn't have alsome. What's the he remembers? Because the world could be so far from the light. So we arouse the zikar in the love from the in which everything is one with him through the which is not can come out in words there's no words there's only the that's the it creates what's why is it a is something that's completely away you have to remember remember so what god has a good memory that's the kdesh It's because essentially there could be such a distance in the way of our consciousness. We so don't feel this oneness. So we're likeness we we we recreate that oneness. You have to remember something that's distant. We're remembering the posture of distance and it frustrates us to no end that we cry out from the deepest place it touches you because nothing touches the soul like this distance. And then you don't only want the you want the he gives you guarantee but >> it's a gift but it's it's we open ourselves up to it. It's like a moment of coherence. Yeah. He says shall have obviously every person in their own way like >> you have to be emotionally healthy. If a person is looking to run away from their anxiety and their depression and their uh dysfunctionality and it becomes a dis if if this is a game of of of of mental of uh of mental gymnastics or avoiding dealing with my life then it's it's a disaster. >> You understand? >> You can't run to without I have to get my life in order. You understand what I'm saying? >> I disagree. I think that you're brokenhearted means you're broken. Broken >> the word is not brokenhearted. The word is you're you're pain by distance. Yeah. I guess >> when you could be emotionally and everything else, >> right? But I'm saying that if this is used as an escape route, it's a disaster. I'm just telling you all of this, everything we're learning, huh? >> You're just escaping reality and you're going into calm and deus if it's used as as a drug, >> then it's very very disastrous. >> Yeah. living in this place, you're really not affected. You're okay with it, but you know that tomorrow you're not going to live and how come I didn't. >> Excellent question. >> So there are times that you kind of make >> we don't blow for every moment. We don't blow for every moment. This is not something you fake. In other words, there's a we live with if if if I'm having a business disagreement with somebody, I have to ask what does Hashem want? What's the right thing? What's the moral thing? What's the moral thing? And if just giving in and just saying, you know, you could rip me off and then tomorrow you can't pay your bills, right? And then you find out that he also took your house and your business, right? And suddenly you don't have for Shabas. So what just happened? >> That's what your wife is going to say. Go to and leave me alone. >> We're not that's not the if it if this is trying to substitute responsibility in life and civic duties and then it it's a it's an escape route. You start with means means there's a way of disagreeing. There's a way of of of of dealing with this business partner. I don't want to become a shark. I don't want to become corrupt because he's corrupt. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to be deceptive. But if there's something that belongs to me, right? Somebody owes you a debt. So, you're allowed to ask for it. Yeah. If you have 10 billion dollars in the bank, maybe you'll choose to be. Fine. Baser Hashem one day. But now you need the money. Fine. So, you make these calculations. What's the right thing? What's the moral thing? And you remain in your posture of connection. You're not just an egoomaniac who loses it. That's very, very important. >> And if it's about there's no money in the bank, there's there's a mitzvah to support your wife and kids, right? There's a mitzvah to eat. There's a mitzvah to build a suka. Building a suka costs money. And buying meat for y costs money. I mean, you understand what I'm saying? And even in the real real there's I need I need to put on putting on fillin is that's also cost money. So I'm saying even in that space there is responsibility but it's it's it's it's practiced in a different experience. Even if there's no ego I can let go. >> Okay. parents are feeling their child. >> You know what I'm going to answer? I push you have to make a call and I'm going to answer you in a moment. Okay. Tomorrow there's a women's class will continue Thursday. We'll probably also learn Friday so we'll be able to finish the m [Music]