Likkutei Torah Al Ken #5: The Loop of Obsession -- How to Avoid the Trap of Shame and Guilt

It's page 130. Parshas Chukas 130. On top it says Chukas page 130, the first column. Holding Ois Gimmel of the Maimer. Okay, in Hebrew I might as well in the Hebrew it's Samech column three. Daled Samech column three. Okay. Today's class is dedicated leilui nishmas Yisrael ben Shmuel. Tehei nishmaso tzerura betzeror hachaim in the loving memory of Reb Yisrael ben Reb Shmuel. May his soul continue to be a source of love and inspiration for all of his loved ones and all of the Jewish people. And uh a good to better melitz yosher for the entire mishpacha and tehei nishmaso tzerura betzeror hachaim. Thank you very much. We should be zocheh take kids of Iran and Moshiach now for the coming of Mashiach. Okay. So how do we summarize what we learned? There was perek aleph and perek bet. Perek aleph is memaleh kol almin perek bet is sovev kol almin. The first perek was about olam shanah nefesh. Right? Olam is the space of the universe and all of the creations of the universe and all of the universes. Nefesh is the divine spirit, the nefesh, the soul, the consciousness that animates everything and everybody at and the shidduch between the two with the shatchan is shanah which is time. The energy of time which Alter Rebbe explains is really ratzo vashov. It's the rhythm of ratzo vashov which is the heartbeat of creation. The heartbeat of creation is ratzo vashov and that's why our heartbeat is also ratzo vashov and that's why the whole rhythm of life at inhaling and exhaling is also ratzo vashov and all of this is essential to the flow of with energy which has a paradox. On one hand, it wants to go back to its source. Cuz it's infinite, it's ain safe. On the other hand, it's sent down into every single creation to be able to vivify it and give it the the energy that it needs. So, that's the rhythm of the way translates in our world, how do we experience is time. A moment is, and when you look at that moment, it's gone. The moment you hold on to time, it's gone. There's no such a thing as holding on to time. Because holding on to anything is paradoxical to life. Every moment, the only way you can experience life is by letting go. By letting go. The moment you hold on to it, you want to control it, it's not life anymore. It's a fake form of life. Yeah, this is a This is very deep stuff. It's a deep experience. In other words, the moment you hold on to something, you're not It's not there anymore. So, the the only way you can hold on to it is by letting go of it, right? The only way you can hold on to something is by letting go of it. If you want to hold on to it, good luck, but you're not holding on to anything. Boom, next. Next. So, the only thing we can do is to be present. Be present to here, be present to now. Because the next moment is already a new presence. And if I want to stay stuck in the past or anxious about the future, it's not the rhythm of life. The rhythm of life is the So, that was the explanation of and length. And the key is that comes from the word concealment. I love him. Because even in the highest spaces of it requires that concealment of energy in order to be able to allow for the existence of whatever is going to exist outside of infinity. In chapter two, is the whole of Yasham Loishan which explains at length. And in that space Hakadosh Baruch Hu Ubaruch Hu, there's God Hashem Ma'id Lo Ein Cheker. Right, the Ma'id is more and more and more and more of Mamale. Lo Lo Se Ein Cheker that's Soivev. What's Soivev? Soivev is the infinity of Hashem, the oneness of Hashem. That is the same pre-creation before creation as the entire world essentially is his energy and it's subsumed in him like the ray of light inside the source or the word inside the speaker where everything essentially is just a manifestation of infinity. On the Yasham Loishan as he explains at length the beginning of Soivev Kol Olamin. Hakadosh Bashamayim Uba'aretz and as he explains Soivev doesn't mean like people think that it's above and it encompasses the world. Soivev is more Mamale than Mamale. What do we mean Soivev is more Mamale than Mamale? Soivev is not it's infinite and not finite. It means that the truth of the finiteness is infinity. The truth of the finiteness is infinity. We explained this at length in the previous Shiurim. Everybody could review it cuz this is really the the foundations of Chassidus and of Yiddishkeit. Imma Asak Shamayim Sham Ata. Vatzi Asha Aili Neka. In this space there's no lower and higher because in every space there is the absolute truth the absolute intimacy with Ein Soif. That's the beginning of Soivev. And here there's no heaven and earth meaning there's a higher place is a lower place like an eagle like a circle where it encompasses like when you're in a ball everything is part of of everything. Is Soivev more accessible Is Soivev more accessible than Mamale? The answer is yes, of course. On the other hand, it requires complete surrender because Mamale is the way we experience life within our Caleb within our vessels and that's the truth of Mamaleh, the truth of Mamaleh that there's oil, and there's shana, there's nefesh. No two moments are the same, no two places are the same, no two people are the same, no two experiences are the same. It's the endless diversity of life. So, Mamaleh means that the experience, of course, that's what's accessible to us intuitively. So, Kol Olam is the deeper truth though that underlies everything. So, in many ways it's more accessible, but on the other hand, that accessibility requires the bittle, the surrender of of all of our definitions of life, because Mamaleh is what's created through the tzimtzum, through the holding back, and through the restrictions, and through the concealments. And the Alter Rebbe said that this is the whole tachlis of yeridas haneshama down here. The whole purpose, right, this was the main point. The whole purpose of the neshama coming down here is in order to break through the the barriers of Mamaleh and touch touch Saveh. And this started the whole arichus, the whole long explanation that um that davka through the mitzvos and through the Torah and through the avodah of a person in this world like it says in Zohar, he starts bringing that the says in Zohar that uh kadish kaffis itra'acha istalik kadish kudsha brichu b'chol alma. And the main point that the Alter Rebbe made in this whole arichus, but just to summarize it is that this is the only world in which there's real real concealment. In all the other worlds, it's takka Mamaleh Kol Olam. Gan Eden, higher Gan Eden, higher Gan Eden, higher Gan Eden. But there comes a In other words, they're very beautiful places. They're places of giluy, of giluy Elokus. Atzilus, Briyah, Yetzirah. Yeah, of course there's infinite levels. But all of the higher worlds are takka Olam Vilashon Helem. As he said, like the king is confined in his chamber and there's walls that block the ultimate truth, but it's ultimately a place of comfort. It's a place of flow. No strife to reach uh the Right. Yeah. Yeah. So, even though there's growth and you say yelchu michayil el chayil, but it's all relative. Yeah, because essentially it's not a place of strife. It's not a place of darkness. It's a place of light. True, the light is diminished. The light is limited, but it's a place of light. Our world reaches a place where you have a because the hell of God of the greatest concealment. Tanya calls this world and chain the matter of the manner. It's lower and you can't get lower than that. In terms of the concealment, in terms in terms of the hell. It's a result. How does a person break through this is through because the matter of here is completely concealed. We don't intuitively you don't experience the presence of Hashem here. On the contrary, it's a struggle. There's so much struggle. There's so much darkness. It's so easy to detach. The natural the natural modality that a person goes into in this world is we go into survival. You go into copy mechanisms. You're going you're going into a place of making glorifying separateness and just making it work to the best of your ability. So, it's really cracking open the in this world we're challenged to crack open the code and go to save of which is as present in this world than in any other world. And when that happens the is the card of the world. So, then all the worlds get cracked open. All of the concealments get cracked open because of it's like the rope that's connected from the highest to the lowest and when you sway the rope on the bottom it has an effect on the highest space. So, when all the worlds are the world of also from the word hell. All the concealments get punctured and there is a of the world of man on every single level of existence. That's what it says in the world of when So how come it's subdued. Where is it subdued? Only in this world. It's called it's called it's called it's called it's called from the word it's called means departing but not departing in a way that it goes away. It's called means that it's in a state of it's in a state of exaltedness. It's in a state of inside. So it's called because it's not limited to the when something and that's what really means and you say it's called on one level it's of but not of it becomes even stronger. Because means that it's not in the So then it's because you have this of save. That was the main the main the main that's why he said at the end that people get depressed. They get despondent from the that they experience. It means all types of distracting thoughts or instincts that come in and the whole gamut of things. In other words, any thought that takes me away from being present right here at this moment. That's called What's in this? It doesn't just mean I decided I want to kill you. I'm going to become an arsonist and then you know that's also but Huh? Yeah yes exactly yes. Very good. Very good. Huh? This is yeah. It has It's with the best yeah. I'm I'm going to become I'm going to become any of it. By the way, it doesn't mean you shouldn't be by the way. For him it's for you it's over. For him for you it's You should just know that. But I can't have any more sugar. >> Any but the truth is any thought that takes me away from presence, that's called machshavah zarah. Cuz what is it zarah? It's alien to the truth of reality, to the fabric of reality. But it's hard. Who doesn't have machshavah zarahs, right? How many moments are we really in flow? So now the Rebbe says one of the easiest things is besides having the machshavah zarah, what's the only thing that's worse than having the machshavah zarah? Getting depressed from the machshavah zarah. The fact that you have the machshavah zarah, that's an opportunity. When you get depressed from the machshavah zarah, oh now you took it too seriously. You lost the opportunity. Right? The machshavah zarah itself is just an opportunity. It's a gift. It's a gift to be able to go from a malach to sovev. It's a gift to be able to puncture the concealment. It's an opportunity to be able to achieve dirah betachtonah. It's an opportunity to bring redemption to the world. That's the machshavah zarah in its pure form. The depression that you have the machshavah zarah, meaning the guilt and the shame around it, this is where the machshavah zarah becomes lethal. You understand the difference? It's a key difference. The experience of the machshavah zarah itself, yeah, that's your avodah. Beautiful. Don't get depressed. This is it. Of course, yeah, you're not living in Atzilus, you're living in Asiyah. We know that. The shame around it, the guilt around it, this is where the person gets broken. Now the machshavah zarah becomes my God. Now the machshavah zarah defines me. Now the machshavah zarah becomes a whole other reality. Now it takes over. It captures my essence and defines me rather than me defining it. Huh? Yeah. Overwhelmingly relevant. Yeah. And that was the whole idea in Pirkei Avot he explained that everything has a source. Right? And he said "Zeh el umasah elokim." Just like there is a hellos of Kadusha this chambers of Kadusha from where all the holy thoughts and words come from there's also a hellos of tumor from where all the unholy thoughts come from and a person is about the hero which which plug I'm going to go into there's always a plug you're you're getting an energy from and a person has that period where I'm I'm what I'm going to be aligned with which hell right and that's what he said there's two different different hellos and and and clip itself this clip is neither the solace to be at the mayor says he explained but because the person is the only one who has agency by totally a coin and him is dependent everything so as he explained when a person challenges the master of Azara and learns to divert his mind from it and not not go down that pipe not go down that channel so what happens is the source of clipper which wanted to feed him now gets challenged the scuffy sit around here the source of this master of Azara so it's fascinating when a master of Azara comes into me we just see it as a single thought it's not a single thought it's coming from a whole frequency of clipper it's coming from a whole ideology of clipper but that flow is just that's part of creation that God made the only place where there's period to challenge it is only inside of me how I relate to it so the moment you're he says you're master of Azara the moment you challenge you you you you puncture that master of Azara the whole source goes crazy so like what's going on here what is supposed to be a flow a person challenges that whole source and what happens then is the style of the whole world and even the hellos of Kadusha are also called almond all of them get upended because they're all based on the almond and here the person went to save of the almond so what happens is there's a puncture on every single level of every world from the place of almond where the Kadusha is being manifested within a Kelly to the place where it's beyond the Kelly where it's save of the almond >> But the but the but the after the the people label of them to be depressed only the So the last words he says here, don't get depressed from the fact that you have much of his orders. Realize what your slichus is. >> Don't get depressed about the mafias of the somebody indulges in a bad bad habit. Now what good question. What happens with a person that can indulge in the Zara? Here also you have to be very careful because when you want to even chuva, there could be two ways. One is I learned my lesson, right? And I want to fix it. One is I learned a lesson of how horrible I am. You understand? And then the Zara now just feeds more and more and more demoralization and the person can get stuck there. The evil labor of them has them has them look. Once he indulges it, he says he says the evil labor of them doesn't have a place for the mafias Right. From the fact that you have that you have no Zara, all you have to do on the contrary, this is an opportunity as he says, you really have to see that item in hand, has to etc. You're saying if the person falls into the Zara Right. Right. I understand you. Now one of our dear pillars here in the shears of gun sent me a email yesterday. And there with his permission I'm going to read it. We'll say that. It's really a beautiful beautiful letter and summation. So I just I was very moved by it. So I asked him this morning if I could read it to the so I'm just going to read it. Okay. I was struggling to understand the idea that the comes down here to discover save of Kalam. Because it was always in the but then it resonated with me. In any of the higher worlds, there is nothing that would be called sovev. For instance, in olam ha-yetzirah, you can't say that olam ha-briah is called sovev. Why? Because when you're in that olam, of course you know that there is higher. It's not like olam ha-yetzirah is saying that godliness ends here. Of course it knows that there's higher and higher and higher. In other words, when you're in a higher world than our world, you know that God is infinite and that means that it knows that there is higher and higher. Even if you reach the highest place where we don't even have words for that place and we don't know what it is, it knows that there's even higher than that. Everybody knows, over there they know that God is infinite. It's just a higher rung in the chain. So the whole idea of God's infinity is ol bederech mamalah. They know that God is infinite and is higher and higher. However, there's one world that even in the highest worlds, it's called sovev and that's our world. Why? Because God is good. God is great, awesome, powerful, and all the other majestic words we use for God. So when you look down from any higher world to our world, could you say that God is here? From that perspective, maybe not because this is a crazy place. You're going to tell me that this is all God? It would be a disgrace to say that about God in the world where you have to tell people lo tirtzach, lo tin'af. Kashi yakum ish al re'ehu retzach nefesh, kein adaber azeh. In a world where you have a Hitler, yimach shemo, ya Stalin, yimach shemo, ya bin all these resha'im, pain and suffering, etc. God is this world? It can't be. Or at least it's mysterious how God could be in such a world. So this is already sovev even for the highest worlds. In the highest worlds, this world is like, "What?" Nothing is revealed. Even the highest worlds go crazy from this. This is of course a very big problem. A parable for me would be a technician who's very, very talented. Extremely talented. Great computer scientist. Doesn't matter what type of window pops up on the computer, he knows exactly how to take care of it, what it is, where it comes from, what's the back-end program, and he knows exactly how to deal with it. However, there is one window that this technician knows when it pops up, even he loses the plot. He doesn't know how to get rid of it. It just drags him deeper and deeper into the problem and into the virus. Even if it's only one type of issue, it could take away his whole confidence because let's say he gets hired by the biggest companies, there's always that fear maybe that window will pop up. And when that window will pop up, everything goes down the drain. He won't know how to solve it and then his whole career comes crumbling down because this great company was ruined by him. Same thing here. When you're in the higher worlds, everything is good. All the windows work. Whatever pops up, you experience the oneness of God. You're infinitely confident, happy. Everything is beautiful, but there's only one window called Olam Hazeh. And when that pops up, oh my God, it shakes up all the worlds cuz seemingly from that perspective, there's no way that God is in that crazy world. That's scary. Their whole career comes to an end. Each and every soul is pained by this. Maybe God, after all, is not everywhere when you look at this world. When you look at the darkness, the pain, this one window ruins really everything. Maybe there is a real glitch in the whole system. Maybe there's some place where there's real, real darkness and you're really, really detached and the pain is just endless. The truth, however, is that of course Hashem is there, too, cuz there's no place devoid of him. But who will prove that? Who will restore the idea that God is truly one? Who will restore the confidence and heal that pain that every soul struggles with? Comes down to Rebbe and says, "That's why the neshama comes down here to this crazy world." Only the neshama could say that despite all the insanity, I will show that God is everywhere. After all, we've been through the good, the bad, and the ugly. All we want is intimacy with Hashem. Even scientists who for thousands of years were trying to say there's no God are slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that there must be a higher power. Deeper you go into science and physics, anywhere you go, they see more oneness, more infinity, more infinity. It's the soul only in this world who looks at all the insanity and all the craziness and says, "I will prove it simply by being." The fact that the soul doesn't stop yearning for a truth, isn't that the greatest power that there is a truth? The fact that with all in all the pain, the soul is con- consistently yearning for that oneness, for that core. That itself is a sign for the core. That's where real save of column and comes out. If this is the case, what a privilege far more than another in in any other higher worlds to come into this world and to say Shema Yisrael Hashem Eloheinu Hashem Echad. Thank you, Ganz. And he's a very good technician, by the way. Just don't get that window to him. Just don't open that window. Yeah. Beautifully, beautifully said. At the end I did add a few words just to clarify what you meant. Right? Did I get it? Okay. So, that's the real truth. This this this this one world freaks everybody out because of the levels of concealment. And that's really where save of column and what save of column and save of column and means you cannot take it through column. It doesn't It's not graspable through the parameters of the creations. All the other worlds is a beautiful symmetry between the light and the vessel. Between the soul and the godliness in it. Between the angel and the godliness in it. Between the sphere and the godliness in it. There's just perfect symmetry. Everything is working. It's not broken. It's con- There's a lot of concealment, but it's not broken. This world, though, it's all concealment. We don't have to explain, right? How much time, how much energy people dedicate simply to solve their problems, simply to survive. In other worlds, you don't have to survive. Survival is a given. You just are. You're You're the flow of godliness, whatever he wants you to be over there. In this world, it's like a question of survival. It's a question of dealing with pain, with anxiety, every from sure the way, whatever that means in a person's life, physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, financially, collectively, individually. That's what we're dealing with. Or Or in other words, in this world in this This is the only world where there's a question, right? Yesh din or less than or less than, you know. Like That's the question of this world. Is the real purpose? Is there such a thing as real purpose? And that's a very very profound profound dilemma that comes from within. And here, the only solution is above so to speak. The pure infinity, which one has to surrender to, which is beyond beyond Caleb. And that's what the soul accomplish That's what the soul reveals in this world. And therefore, all the worlds are redefined. And how does the soul do it? Simply through its presence, through its courage. I was once interviewing It's online. This fellow's name is Bessel van der Kolk. Bessel van der Kolk is considered one of the biggest experts on trauma in our generation. I know he's been a doctor for uh 50 years, 60 years. And he's one of the few who coined the term PTSD after the Vietnam War. And he's a big expert on this field. So, I was speaking to him. He considers himself an atheist. So, I asked him cuz today to be a scientist and a doctor, a psychologist, if you're not an atheist, you could lose your tenure and your status. So, I asked him, I said, "How do you explain So, he said I asked him, you know, "What did you learn from all your patients? I don't know if you've seen hundreds, thousands, maybe tens of thousands of patients since the 1960s or 70s. What did you learn from them? What did you learn from all the people you saw? I don't remember exactly my question, but it was something of that nature. So, he said, "I'm astounded by my patients because sometimes I see a person and all the arrows are pointing towards one direction. This person should be a completely what we would call a shiver kale. This person should be broken for eternity. Person went through so much so much pain or so much abuse or so much horror or so many nightmares. You know, some there's some stories in this world that are horrific beyond horrific. And uh you expect that there's just nothing left. You know, you take a machine and you smash it, right? Take this mic, smash it. Yeah, it stops working. Smash it again. Smash it again. Smash it another thousand times. Now, you don't expect that when you turn on it's going to go on. It's There's nothing to be on. Everything was smashed. Take your phone, smash it 300 times. I want to put it on. There's nothing. It's dead. Fine, go buy a new phone. Or go give the parts to the technician if he could put it together. That's true. That's how the world works. You take the air conditioner and you smash it a thousand times. It's not working anymore. He says, "That's what I would expect from these people. And yet, there's something inside of them that is still whole, that still is looking for healing and still has hope and love." It was very, very powerful. So, I said, "Uh how do you explain that? What's that piece? What's that piece that didn't get broken?" He says, "I don't know." I say, "We call that God." We call that God. He smiles. I say, "Maybe you're not such an atheist as you're making yourself. You're just not using the word God. You're basically saying the same thing." Something was broken. If If If basically it means if somebody was made up of parts, just of different chemicals, you destroy it, you destroy it, you destroy it. That's it. Only if there's something transcendent, there's something that's that's not corporal, there's something that's not in time and space and matter that's there, that could be present inside all the pain, observing it all, experiencing it all, but not be defined by it. That's really what you're describing. I think you said he has to think about it. But the point of the real point I don't remember exactly his response, but my point is right this this is the nakuda. And there's no way of defining it and explaining it and grasping it. So this really means that every machshavah zarah, meaning every thought of concealment any thought that takes us away from presence is a really an opportunity to puncture the darkness and tell the machshavah there's something there's a deeper secret here that I'm going to reveal. And it's not easy like experientially it's emotionally very hard cuz when that thought comes in it doesn't say by the way I'm a machshavah zarah and I'm coming and it's like it says in the Likutei Torah that only mitzad mamaleh but really mitzad sovev I'm not a machshavah zarah and really below beneath me there's an opportunity for you it's not what the machshavah zarah says. Machshavah zarah didn't get the memo of this ma'amar. It's really what he's saying but he doesn't say that he's saying that. He says all I'm doing is I'm here to tell you the truth. So it takes the courage of the person at that moment to be able to like look back and and and stop you know pause and see and be an observer of the machshavah zarah and say no be there's a secret there's a secret that you're not you're not revealing. There's literally a secret. That's a very very internal very very deep experience. Because the machshavah zarah is so powerful it's so intense to be able to say you know there's a code that that you're challenging me to crack. I'm going to crack your code. And suddenly what happens is of course the machshavah zarah was just an opportunity for the person to be able to go into a much much deeper place and find their true infinite light which is present even there and at that moment and in that thought as well. Yeah. I have a very strange machshavah zarah I'm going to share it anyway. So, if Mashiach will come, does it turn this world into more like a the next world, so that we can only experience more of it, because there is no there is no challenge anymore? So, in a way All of I all Mashiach is out of this should be as uh You lose that opportunity of challenge, of surrender, and stuff like that. So, it's going to be so obvious. Like a llama. It's like a next level, like all of that. It's like a world of Messiah or real. You're saying when Mashiach comes, when the darkness is converted into light, what remains the challenge? What is is going to be a challenge for you? There'll be a deeper challenge, don't worry. Don't worry about it. You won't be bored. You won't be bored. You won't be depressed. We won't be wiggling our uh thumbs all day. What should we do now? I go from bingo to pizza to another bingo game to another chess game. Don't worry. It becomes the challenge of of of of within Ain Soph itself, there's Ain Soph. So, within within infinity, there's infinite growth. Is that privilege status It's a different type of challenge, though. Is that privilege status of all of Mashiach is going to remain? Yeah, obviously there's a there's an expression of the Rebbe Rayatz. He said there's Mashiach that come in with men erged bankin after golus take. There's going to be a deep yearning for the golus days when there was a void of a different level. There is there there is that. There's no question that the confrontation with darkness has an intensity to it and a power to it that's unparalleled. Somebody finishes to build a house. Yeah. He looks back, but still he's happy with the >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there'll still be a different type of avodah, but still Mashiach comes with Mashiach. It says even when Mashiach comes, we remember it. So, the Alter Rebbe says because of the my love of Hiskashrus, there's something special about a scuffier even before it's hot. you know that's like it's relative to Messiah. It's like somebody is a fighter. Right. You you you you you won you won the war. You won the war what now? Right? Right. Right. So you become a smarter. But that's if we're invested in just being the warrior. But if I'm if if it when we surrender to the truth there becomes a whole new opportunity of bliss that's infinite. Yeah, don't worry about it the above it up. Okay. Now let's go to gamma. I just want to I want to just want to you asked a good question. What if somebody falls to the other they don't challenge it. They take a go with it. Right? So what happens now? So now it's very important when a person did let's say I I failed I failed. I watched yesterday something I shouldn't have watched. I ate something I shouldn't have ate. I did something I shouldn't have done. I used my eyes uh? Right? Here how do you think about it? Remember if the thought is look what look what a bad person I am. Look what a miserable failure I am. That's again a bizarre. After you have the bizarre there's another the is look how sick I am. Look what a failure I am. Yeah. So so he says so when he says that's another that's the about the bizarre. No how do you think about the that that I failed with? That itself could be a bizarre if you think okay. So now I have a gift of over. It's a new gift a gift of chuva. And the gift of a gift. Part of chuva is the grief that I made that the remorse, that's part of chuva. Harata. That's part of chuva. But the harata, I lost an opportunity and and the lessons I learned from it. And what's going to happen today? The machshava zara of about the machshava zara is, look how bad I am. Period. I'm a loser because I lost. Right? And that's the machshava zara of the about the machshava zara itself. And sometimes it could be worse than the original machshava zara cuz it could keep me there. So it's just very important to understand when you speak about machshava zara, it's constant. In other words, it could be a machshava zara about the machshava zara and it doesn't look like a machshava zara. It looks like a holy machshava. Oh, look, look how bad I am. Look what a miserable thing I am. Look how disappointed God is with me. Sounds very holy. But it's really a machshava zara. How do you know it's a machshava zara? Cuz again, is it making you more present to life or less present? And everybody knows of course it's shutting you down. Just making you heavy, lazy, tired, and usually you have to go to sleep. Or just go to another video to distract yourself from that. Or just you go into this place of bitterness. That's how you know it's a machshava zara. Any machshava that takes you away from presence. Yeah, the mice. Exactly. Exactly. And the way to and the way to fix it is not by going into how miserable I am. The way to fix it is by realizing, yeah, this is a challenge that I'm it's part of my life and I want to learn from it. And when I learn from it, then sometimes from the darkness you go into a deeper light. Like the Alter Rebbe says in Tanya, perek zayin, the chuva me'ava creates such a deep love that you can only reach that love through the sin. And then the sin becomes a mitzvah. It's done as not so like a zachus. And I can't do this to kill us. Okay, let me go sin and then I'll have love cuz then the stomach joke, it's after washes. But when the person does that, it could sometimes create such a deep thirst and yearning and appreciation that the sin becomes a mitzvah that you couldn't have reached without it. It's a gigantic onion. And you have to be careful with this. It's not something you do to kill but that's the point. That means you're really not you're not using the of Azara here. You're using the godly perspective on everything. There's a godly perspective even on failure. And it's not the perspective of a of Azara. It's a perspective of of Kalam. In essence sham of Azara in it. I just want to clarify that. Now let's see this again. Of Azara? You want to do of Azara? Put it better. You want to do of Azara. Huh? That's not but it's called guilt. When anybody ever has a feeling I have to do of Azara. If not I'm a wretched, worthless, lowlife. How am I going to get punished? It's usually not it's just more of Azara. The of Azara sounds like Azara. Sometimes the of Azara is so sophisticated it says I'm a very very holy do of Azara you idiot. It's energetic. It's very deep. The the There's a very thin there's a thin division there's a very thin between between Azara and another of Azara which looks like Azara. Huh? You don't control anything. You don't control of Azara side there. You you flow. You flow with it. It's like surfing. You ever go surfing? But you ever watch people who surf? You never fight the waves. You go with the waves. It's a rhythm. The moment you start fighting machshavos, then that's the biggest machshava zara. I'm now fighting you. I We can't do that. We have to go with it, huh? I fuel it by fighting it because now I'm giving it the gas that it needs. Like I will fight you. Oh, good. Let's go. Let's wrestle. And the what what machshava zaras want to do more than anything else is keep you in a loop. That's what they love. Just keep you in that loop. You know, keep you in that loop. So, fight me. Yeah, good. Good. More is it Okay, fight me more. And the more we're fighting it, the more we're in that loop of the machshava. That's what it wants. Just stay with me. It's like when people start regurgitating in their mind different thoughts and failures. I did this. I feel so horrible. No, I shouldn't feel horrible. You start arguing. You ever do that? You start arguing with your feelings. They're like, "Good. Yeah, very good. All right, gavaldik." And now it becomes like a sugia in gemara. 10 Blatt. 10 Blatt, which usually in in yeshivas takes 2 years, right? So, 2 years you're on the machshava. As long as And we'll bring in Rashi, Tosfos, bring in the Maharsha, Maharal, Ramashif. If you need the Beki Vegel, have the Beki Vegel. The main thing is stay in the sugia. Just stay here. At the end we'll be teiku, teyuvta. Who cares? kasha. Even if you refute me, BUT STAY IN THE SUGIA. NOW, when it comes to Torah, it's good to stay in the sugia. Also, you have to know when to move on to the next sugia. But uh But lehavdil, when it comes to machshava zaras, no, no, no. That's exactly what he wants to keep you. Argue with me, and then I'll argue back. And then you argue back, and you argue back. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. 3 days later, that's where I'm in. Why? At least you're stuck. You're stuck. It doesn't mind. That's the worst thing you do. Of course. Right. Bechlona. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. The moment you can extricate yourself from the guilt and the shame around the Philosopher are you good? You're like okay, oh of course I have an offer Shabbat almost. Thank you. Oh save of beautiful. It's almost like you could be grateful for the opportunity. Dr. Abby writes in Tanya of Zion that when people get depressed and guilty and shame with the artist coming from arrogance. That's what he says. It's coming from arrogance. That's what he says. It's fascinating. My guilt and shame is is coming from completely displaced understanding of who you are. He says I am a chemical mate. The person thinks he's supposed to be a gamma who doesn't have any struggle and therefore I'm so shameful. Look what a sick horrible person I am. What a disappointment. He says no. Even says a lotion will I shouldn't use this the same word a person shouldn't get so depressed about the key to never. Maybe you were created for this. Like what what are you what are you getting ashamed for? This is your business. And he brings the desire also God is a traffic light card of the whole almond. This is in Tanya chapter 27 of Zion. He says this is what what are you getting ashamed for if you were created for this? He thought he was created to be a He thought he was created to be the gamma but you weren't created for that. For that you have somebody else. Huh? And this is the this is the deepest work. This is the deepest work. So what's causing him so much shame is actually should cause him a feeling of a shame of came home. But for this I have to surrender the expectations that I'm supposed to be somebody who I think I'm not. What's you like? Huh? What's you like? What kind of cuz he's not giving you a second in >> How am I supposed to be happy with him baby's not so he likes. That's a lot of shoes. >> Because because the Alter Rebbe is talking it's a panic in Tanya for anybody who's going to read it. You understand? For him? So that's that's it's so important because it's it's it's the guilt and the shame around it that builds a palace. It like it is what it is. It it's an energy that came in. Okay. So that's it. It's an energy. You don't have to glorify it. You don't have to despair over it. Don't turn it into a gun to get you into all of it is over. It is what it is. This is what it means to live in this world. For this the neshama came in. It's the only thing the neshama has that it didn't have before. Before it was born, it was in perfect garden. The Malachim no machshava zarah in garden. It's a beautiful place. This world where there's so much concealment is full of machshava zarah. Any machshava that takes you away from presence. And this is always an opportunity to be able to get from the place of from the place of right to save cuz remember save of is the only code that can crack the concealment of this world. The only one. You can't crack it through anything else. And as a result of that, what happens when I take on this machshava zarah? All the worlds suddenly are thankful to you. All of them says, "Oh, wow. You gave us a taste of save of all of them." All the worlds suddenly wow. The cool element is like a breakthrough. It's like you can you can like visually imagine it. Like all the worlds suddenly are transformed. Why? Cuz a little Jew down here walking in the street or sitting on your couch or at home or in work and you challenge one machshava one little Machshava Zara and suddenly the whole seder hishtalshelus is transformed. It's a chain reaction, pun intended. You sent a message, yeah. It's like you did like you shook the rope and suddenly all the way on the other What happened? WHAT HAPPENED? OH, IT'S MACHSHAVA Zara in that crazy Meshugeneh world, in that crazy Meshugeneh world, right? Where Trump is fighting with everybody else in that Meshugeneh crazy world, yeah, there was a Jew and he had a Machshava Zara and he challenged it and suddenly boom and like interesting. And suddenly everybody is uh is uh is is is taken aback. Yeah. In what? Mareh Enayim, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to tikkun, yeah. From the Shviras HaKeilim, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so over there in Mareh Enayim, Parshas Naso and other places, over there the focus is I don't remember that particular shtickel, but this is in B'chol Inyanim a lot that every Machshava Zara is really looking for a tikkun. It's really looking for a tikkun. Um uh In other words, in other words, to put it in in simple words, the way he puts it over there is in other places, it's Oisiyos that went through an Nefilah, that went through the Kli Tzeruf of Shviras HaKeilim of Tohu. It went through a Shvirah, went through a breakdown, so to speak. We see in our world when you say somebody goes through a breakdown, a Shvirah Chashveisha Chalilah, what happens? Their original identity gets splintered into pieces and you have only remnants of their initial identity. It's like you have people have a breakdown. The genius is still there, the creativity is still there, but it's fragmented, It's not cohesive. Essentially, it's what's called a splintered when a person's personality gets splintered or there's a breaking point. So, it's really it's really the I think it's Freud's definition of trauma, if I'm not mistaken. A person A healthy person is integrated. That means all the different moving parts are part of a cohesive whole. When pieces start breaking off from each other, now there's no there's no plot anymore. There's no plan. There's no cohesive no achdus. That's called a shvirah. In Kabbalah and Chassidus, this is what happened to the world, shviras hakelim. It's like a breaking There was a breakdown. And every machshavah zarah is really a divine energy, but it's camouflaged in different types of isios. Yeah, it's splintered. It's not telling you the whole story. So, essentially, it's an opportunity to be a mesaken. To bring it back to the source. Um and it's a very very deep experience. In simple English, what it means is this This is It's a very fundamental idea. And that is whenever you have any machshavah zarah, it's really really on a deeper deeper level, it's telling you about a certain search that you have. That search is not evil. It's really pure. If you remember Likutei Torah Chukas, we learned also Chukas, the first ma'amar Parah Adumah, says the nefesh habahamis when you burn it, you go back to the efer, it becomes cleansing. Cuz if you take any ta'avah, you remember we learned it last year, I think, there's the ta'avah and there's the koach hamisovev. There's the craving itself, and there's the energy behind the craving. The energy behind the craving is not bad. It may be manifesting itself in a certain way. I want this, I want that, I want that. I'm anxious about this. But really, you're searching for something very pure. But it took on different forms. So, to be able to dissect that and see what you're really really searching for, what's the wound, that's where you're masakin your myle of the machshava Zara back to the source. That's the nakuda in the Moreh Nevukhim on a lot of places. It comes from the Baal Shem Tov. Yeah. It's a very very big idea over there in the Moreh Nevukhim other than the Baal Shem Tov. Why? Because basically what it is is don't judge a book by its cover. And you could see it constantly. A person has a craving for something. You have a crush on somebody for example, right? And it's not something that's very productive. Let's put it that way. You could just say it's evil. Okay. But you could say something much more. There's something broken. You're looking for something. If you go back to what you're searching for, you're searching for something actually very pure. Maybe for connection. Maybe for real love. Maybe for a real deep relationship. Maybe to find somewhere where you could feel that you matter. I don't know. But there's usually something very very pure. But the way it manifested itself is in a fragmented way. It's not telling you the whole story. So it's so important to be able to identify the pure core of it, the nucleus of it, and then say going in this direction is not really going to help what I'm searching for. It's usually going to take me away even more. You remember we once did a whole shiur I think or a big shiur, a big thing. The Moreh Nevukhim brings in I think Parshas Bereishis what he heard from the Maggid. This is uh this is like uh this is you know this is like direct prophecy. You can't say this without being a prophet. The Maggid says what's pshat that Yosef saw Potiphar's wife and he wanted to go with the Gemara says in Sota that he wanted to be with her last his stroke of nowness. What happened? The moose the yoiknaishal Yaakov raw, he saw the image of Yaakov his father and that saved him. What what happened? He knew what Yaakov looked like before. He knew what Yaakov looked like after. He was 17 years old when he separated from Yaakov. He knew what his father looked like. What does it mean? Poof, then he saw an image? Okay, so there's different interpretations, but the Maggid says something, you know, glorious, glorious. He says, "The world learn I'm using my own words. The world learns, he saw Potiphar's wife. She was extremely, extremely attractive and seductive, and the Gemara describes in Yoma everything she did. She was an interesting person, let's put it that way, a real tsatske. And she was beautiful. And she also had some deep qualities. And despite that, despite that, he saw the image of Yaakov his father, and that saved him." That's it. The Maggid says, "No, no, no, no. That's not the pshat." You know, there's something called hishtapchus. This is this is the avodah of hishtapchus am tokha. There's no am tokha. Huh? Flip if come live with it. IN IN POTIPHAR'S WIFE, HE SAW YAAKOV his father. What's pshat? So, the Maggid So, what the Maggid says, he asked himself, "What am I looking for? What What's so interesting about this woman?" And the answer is tiferes, beauty. Her beauty. And then he asked himself a question. "I'm looking for tiferes. Tiferes. Who is the ultimate embodiment of tiferes in this world? Yaakov Avinu." The mus deyaikna shel Yaakov in his taiva, in his craving, he saw what I'm really looking for, I'm not looking for I'm looking for tiferes. And the real tiferes, I'm not going to find it by Potiphar's wife. She's a married woman. She has a husband. She's a mortal person. She has her issues. You're looking for tiferes. That's mus deyaikna shel Yaakov Avinu. In the taiva, he saw that what he's really searching for is not Potiphar's wife, but Yaakov Avinu. If you want to put it in other words, he realized that he's not looking for Potiphar's wife, he's looking for a father. How many people are looking for a father or looking for a mother, but they can't get it in their father and their mother. So, they find a girl. They find this, they find that, they find that. What's the alcoholic looking for in alcohol? He's looking for alcohol. Trust me, he's not looking for alcohol. How do I know? Because tomorrow, he's not going to be happy. He's going to meet more, more, more, more. Whenever you're not looking for that, you always need more, more, more cuz you see that it failed. It takes him away. It numbs him from the real search. So, you need more numbing, more numbing. So, that's always the question. Am I looking to numb myself or am I looking to fill myself? That's a very big difference. Yosef understood that. What does it say? It say it teaches. He went outside of the confinement. He went He went into outside. He went into inside. He realized the real Harris, he's not going to find him in Potiphar's wife. HE ACTUALLY GOT IT. He He left the realm, the confinement, and he opened himself up to the true power of Tiferes, which is infinite. So, that that that's essentially what you're saying. Every Zara has that. Now, today he doesn't say that here. He says here though, he says what should you do? Cuz this is a very very important thing. Like it also says in you have to understand how lost elevate you have to be in a very very neutral space. Extremely neutral space. If Potiphar's wife is extremely captivating, by going in deeper and saying, "Let me look more." It can have the opposite effect. You understand what I'm saying? You have to be in an extremely extremely clean neutral space to be able to be so objective and elevate the to that space. Usually, when I'm in the thicket, when I'm in the heat of the Azara, it can it's going to easily slip me down. That's what says let that to men. It's not repression. It just means you so clearly identify with who you really are and what you really want. You say we're not going down this path at the moment. It doesn't just mean I don't think about you. It means I put my into where I really know I belong. That's what it is. With time, it will unravel that what you were really looking for, you're going to find in the places you really find it. So can you really actively do it at that moment? Not always. It's very hard for most people the moment of the to know really what they're looking for and to be able to take it away from life to everything is solved. You have to be a lot more for that cuz in the moment you're just caught up in the intensity of the you're angry, you're you're you're anxious, you're overwhelmed, you're you're nervous, you're stuck in it. So what you could do at most is decide where you're going to focus, where you're going to live. And after a while you'll see that the it's like it's nothing. It's it's it's doesn't hold anything for you. It was just it was just covering up a deep yearning for something. So we don't fight Azaras. We become surfers. You're like, "Wow, oh this is an intense thought." You have compassion for it. You can breathe into it. Give it a little love. You can experience the intensity of it. And then you could say, "And now I want to make a choice. Is that really the place I want to go down? Do I want to follow that rabbit hole?" You know, do I really follow follow that rabbit hole? We have groundhogs here in Monticello a lot, right? So, they dig burrows and they you know, they dig a So, I'm watching a groundhog and it digs a hole. You know, they dig tunnels and holes. They're very interesting animals, very very skillful. They can like have seven different openings and holes like right? It's a whole world that they have underground. So, you I'm watching this groundhog digging this hole, right? And then going down and then I have to make a choice. Do I want to go with it? I could. I'm going to have to do some weight probably and be a little more athletic. But it's it's always like that. Every machshava zara it digs a hole and it's like, do you want to go there? If you want to, you could. But it's like a real choice. Once you're present, you could be present to that choice. Is that really where I want to go? And it's a constant This is constant. Any machshava that takes us away from presence. You can't ignore it. Ignoring usually doesn't help. Ignoring usually is is is part of repression and suppression and it usually comes back with a vengeance. Whenever we put things under the rug not to look at it, it doesn't help. L'choishen doesn't mean not to look at it. L'choishen is from a place of deep consciousness and compassion. You could look at it and because you look at it, you say it's not really where I should I I I don't belong there. I know the results. What's going to happen after an hour? Nothing. I'll just be a an empty wretched shever keili. I just don't want to be there. It's it's a it's a real choice. You can watch a conversation happening around your Shabbos table, let's say lashon hara gossip, gossiping about somebody. It's juicy, yeah? There's a part maybe that is feels tempting and then you make a choice. Say is this I I I I don't I'm not going to be part of this. Not because you don't like yourself, because you respect yourself. You respect your energy. You respect your energy and the same is true with any other machshava zara. Any other thought that takes you away from presence. Jealousy, hatred, frustration, animosity, negative competitiveness, living in anger, resentment, uh analyzing people and how sick they are and all their problems and They may be sick. I'm not saying they're not sick. But am I going to live in that sickness or am going to actually be part of the solution? I ain't no air alive come at you. Yeah. Yeah, this is one of the biggest you say this of the altar ever that when a max over Zara falls into you, you don't have to feel bad about that. People don't realize what a powerful powerful tool that is. The some of the biggest problems is the guilt and the shame that the max over Zara fell in. So when he says I'll eat ball, don't feel bad about that. The more you don't feel bad for it, the more actually you could control it and completely remain pure. The more you feel horrible about it, the more I get stuck into it and it's a very it's counterintuitive. You would think no, feel very bad then you like push it away, right? It's like don't let the monster come in. If I don't feel bad, I'm almost like inviting THE MONSTER. NO, FEEL BAD. Fight him. It's the opposite. Why? It's very very interesting. When you feel bad, we all have energy, mental energy, okay, that we could my mental energy has to go somewhere. Right now I'm I'm getting I'm talking. I'm giving a share. But everybody's mental thoughts and mental energies is is being is is being used for something. Okay. Now imagine I decide that I want to go to war against Mount Everest. There's a story in the mattress. We learned it before put them in a mind of that there was a you remember the muscle of Hammond. There was a bird that the the ocean took its nest, destroyed its nest. So, the bird decided going to take revenge. What is it going to do? It's going to dry up the ocean. How? So, it went with its beak and it lifted up. It took drops of water and put it into the Yabasha until the whole ocean gets dry. Right? It's a joke. But, that's what Haman tried to do with the Jewish people. That's what Iran wants to do. Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, all these have it. What do they want to do? They want to dry up the ocean. They're so angry. They're so angry. That's what they want to do. What's the problem with that? It's okay. It's a goal. The problem is you're putting yourself up. You're putting yourself in a position where you're fighting a war that you can't win. So, all your energy is being squandered on something that you cannot succeed in. So, those things you could succeed in, you already don't have any energy. The moment my energy is going into feeling guilt and shame and horror about feeling the Machshava Zara, you know WHAT HAPPENS? THE REAL energy I have, which is to deal with the Machshava Zara, I don't have anymore. Because this is an in in What's the word? It's a It's a It's a war that you can't win. You can't win this war. Or at least many people can't win this war not to have any Machshava Zara in the world. Right. So, now I'm feeling dirty and horrible that I had the Machshava Zara, right? So, what happens? I'm like, "No, it can't be. I don't have these Machshava Zaras." Yeah, it's a past. I'm on my year. Yeshiva Bochur have this a lot. They're in Yeshiva. He's studying away. He's learning 12 hours a day. The Rosh Yeshiva says he's the next Godol Hador. And suddenly he goes to the dormitory room, right? He goes in and suddenly boom, I'm not the Godol Hador. Unless Rebbi Akiva Eiger also had these thoughts. Suddenly, whoa whoa whoa whoa. So, what happens now? So, I start arguing with myself. No, I don't have these thoughts. I shouldn't have these thoughts. I probably don't have it. but you do have these thoughts. It can be surpass them. So, So, I get rid of them. I get rid of them with a lot and they're they're right there. What what's really happening? What's happening is he's the battle is misplaced. You're fighting Mount Everest. You're fighting the Atlantic Ocean. You're not winning this war. Can you accept that? Can you accept that? Yeah, there's an ocean here. Yeah. Wow, it's a big ocean. Ah, actually, look at the ocean. Enjoy it. But, there is a battle you could win. You know what that is? And that is that the machshava zara comes in, it doesn't hijack your entire life. You could like let it go. You could surrender it. Ah, okay. Beautiful. Nice. Next. That's why I keep on using the surfers. The surfers don't fight the waves. You will not win. You won't win the waves of the Atlantic or the Pacific or the Indian. You won't win them. Go with them. Enjoy them. Let them bring you up. Let them And then it can actually be very very fun. It can actually be exciting. The Gemara says in Yevamos daf kuf kuf, you know the whole story with Rebbe Akiva. Ah, Yeah, I'll call gal v'gal. Rebbe Akiva was on a boat. It's an amazing story and he the the the boat sank and it broke into pieces and Rebbe Akiva survived. And he explained when he came back to the Beis Medrash, he says, "What happened? Daf shel sfina is daman l'yadi. A plank of the boat I encountered in the ocean. So, I held onto it. V'al gal v'gal omni nati l'rosha. Every wave I said shalom aleichem. I bowed my head to the wave. Yevamos I think daf kuf kuf. It was It's an interesting story. What's Rebbe Akiva saying? I didn't fight the waves. Omni nati l'rosha. Shalom aleichem. Shalom aleichem. Shalom You bow your head. In other words, I didn't fight the wave. I went with the wave and I survived. What's Rebbe Akiva trying to say? Rebbe Akiva knew how to fight. He was a supporter of Bar Kochba. He said Bar Kochba is Mashiach. He fought the Romans strongly. Rebbe Akiva was not a you know, what's it called? A pacifist. He wasn't the idea you just just bow just bow to everybody. Rebbe Akiva was a warrior. He wasn't Rebbe Akiva was saying in life you have to know what to fight, what not to fight. Pick your battles. Pick your battles, exactly. Exactly. If my battle is against having the machshava zara, wow. So, I'm just living with terrible terrible inadequacy, a terrible feeling that I'm a worthless worthless boy or worthless girl. And it's a terrible thing that people have that they have an expectation. It's not fair to them. It's not fair to them. And then they're not even comfortable talking about it to anybody cuz they'll be judged. Right? If a bochur goes to his rosh yeshiva or somebody or speaks openly about it like, "Whoa, what a what a horrible person." But that's not a way to live. This is what people deal with. And they are so afraid of being vulnerable. And when you're afraid of being vulnerable with anybody, not even one person in the world, you're not allowed to be authentic with what happens. You have to create a fake personality. And there's nothing more torturous than that. And then the whole avodas Hashem becomes a joke because it's based on fakeness. Avodas Hashem means that you can never be open with who you really are. Nebach, what type of God do you have? You have a God who can't deal with who you are. So, what does that mean? What type of God are you worshipping? You're not worshipping a God of reality. This is called paganism. In the name of monotheism. I tell me you understand this is so important. The basis is not so much different. No, of course. Don't amputate any part of you. Be truthful. Be authentic. Be real. Be vulnerable. That's the key. Be bring all your parts into the world. Bring all your parts into the relationship. The good, as you wrote, the good, the bad, the ugly. Very nice. That's Tashlich. See, that's what Tashlich is. You got to go to the ocean. Yeah? So, intuitively, we think I'm going to fight it. Don't fight it. It's a lost battle. And you're just wasting all your energy. Embrace it. Embrace it. The machshavah zarah came in. Okay, now what's my avodah? And now you could consciously consciously choose to disengage from it. You say, "You know what? I'm not going down this rabbit hole. I'm not going with this ground hog. It's not It's not for me." It's even a simple thing. You come to a barmitzvah. Yeah, you come to a kiddush. There's a piece of food there. It's You're not supposed to eat it. You're diabetic. Or you're close to being diabetic. You know you're not supposed to eat this. But you want to eat it. You're hungry. It's Shabbos 1:00. You're starving. Yeah? It's a good There's no healthy food, of course. Chas v'shalom. Right? So, there's something that's toxic. I don't want it. No, I do want it. I do want it. You can accept that. You can have compassion. Yeah, my my my I have a sweet tooth who wants it. I'm talking from personal experience. I know what I'm talking about. I'm not talking abstractions. You can accept it. Yeah? Yeah, there's a part of me part of my body that wants this right now. And it thinks that this is Mashiach. If I eat this piece of cake, I'll be happy le olam va'ed. Of course, it's a joke. We know it's a joke. I'll just have to be in the bathroom for 2 hours and feel sick. But that's what the sweet tooth says. So, what do you do with it? You have to pass on it that I have this machshavah. So, you say, "Eat it. Fine." It's not what my wife tells me. >> Germanas Huh? I'll show you that Germanas is good. The worst thing is to deny the reality. Of course, yeah, this is the reality. Now, what to do with it? Now, on the contrary, when you know that you cannot battle what you can battle, then you could win the battle cuz then you get you have the agency and what you do have agency. Then you could be powerful where you could be powerful, not where you can't be powerful. YOU CAN'T DRY up that Atlantic Ocean. It's fine. But you know what? You could swim. You could have a nice swim. You can go snorkeling. You can go scuba diving. You can have a good time in the ocean. You could sit at the edge of the ocean and enjoy God's world. You can look at the machshava zara and say, "Wow, I have an interesting avoda in this world. I got to deal with these stuff. Okay, amazing. Let me deal with it." Let's make lemonade. Let's make lemonade from the lemon. Exactly. It's so much more wholesome. It doesn't mean it's not hard. Sometimes there's a hard moment. There's a real Again, the machshava zara doesn't For some reason, machshava zaras have never come to the shiur. I don't know why. I've been trying for years, but they don't come to the shiur. They like sleeping. They didn't know machshava zara designed that for you to deal with your challenge. Of course, that's the point. >> So, look, for example, if comes something that if you analyze it literally and write with it, you will find out down the road >> Yeah, exactly. >> in because you were lazy and you didn't know how to do something. Of course. Or or whatever it is. Of course, it's it's a constant reminder. It's the alarm clock that wakes us up to where our work is. Deep down, it's part of ainid movade. Deep down, remember, sovev is more mamale than mamale. So, sovev is inside the machshava zara, too. But the only way you're going to be able to find that is by creating a distance, by creating a protective space where it doesn't take over. If sovev klali means every machshava zara becomes kosher, that's not sovev klali. That's tam klipa. It's stusim. By creating the division, but distance, the the the border, then ultimately you will find out how this machshava zara brought you to great heights. This is an interesting thing. The other the Moreh Nevuchim and other students of the Baal Shem Tov and the Maggid, they always talk about every machshava zara it's really divine. And look what you're really looking for and be a mile. The Alter Rebbe was much more um um much more strict about it, let's put it this way. He focuses more on Hashem Hashem, yes. Sometimes he'll write about that, but not often. And there's a reason for it cuz Alter Rebbe was very much focused on a blueprint to making it very real. And to make it very very real the Moreh Nevuchim is right. In the ultimate truth, that's what it is. That's what every tzaddik understands. Yes, it's the way it's understood, but Tiferes is really just Tiferes and you're looking for Tiferes. But in order to make that real in your life, if you right away jump to that space and everything is kodesh kodashim, very often we end up having a tremendous mapala. Start glorifying it. Cuz you you glorify the wrong thing and it's part of the machshava zara. If the wife of Potiphar could convince me that she's Tiferes, gevaldik. Oh, now it's Tiferes, so she's maybe the of Yaakov. So fine, get go to Potiphar's wife and you have Yaakov. I mean, in the end it's a very it's a very you have to be very very real here, very honest. The truth is, yeah, you're looking for Tiferes and she's just representing Tiferes and you really want you don't want her, you want Yaakov. That's the truth. And from her you could find that. That's what Yosef saw her, she helped him realize what he really wanted. She She He saw in her the most Yaakov in the Yaakov. Can we go looking for other hers? But it's so it's so sensitive, it's so subtle that if you don't first have the courage to be able to do what's called a scafia, meaning to be able to say this is not for me. No. You know, by your mind with the shall writes Joseph said nay nay nay. You mind has a as he said nay nay nay. I don't know if he spoke in Yiddish. He spoke in Egyptian probably but she got the message. You mind the right first you have to say no no no. Once you say no no no out of respect for your for your then ultimately you'll see that the is just another part that's waiting to be healed and unburdened and disentangled. Yeah. The says no. The the switch yeah. The says is a type. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, let's learn a little in of them. If it's my mind as I'll call it as I call it like I said in the last year. The mind began. The says in it's in it's brought in to our number involved. That somebody who answers with all their with all their strength they tear up a decree of 70 years. What does this mean? Why what does it mean why of 70 years? What does this mean? Literally the way the world learns it is that even if it's a decree on the person 70 year decree in other words to continue for 70 years that's how powerful is that even such an edict can get destroyed, can get torn up. Now the Rebbe here explains this my chazal And what does this often do to people? Makes them guilty around Yesh May Rabba. It's like you missed you didn't do it only did it 90% So now you have the idea. He explains the whole with a whole different a much deeper Havana. What's Yesh May Rabba? There's Hashem's name and there's there's the great name. Rabba means great. She said Yesh May Rabba He said earlier there's the name and there's the great name. What's the difference? Shame is Yesh May Rabba is Yesh May Rabba The names of Hashem really represent the expansiveness and the flow that create all of his Yesh May Rabba that that that bring into existence all of his This is explained Yesh May Rabba for example has a special there's different types of ways you could pronounce it and different vowels on it so this is Yesh May Rabba is holy. In Kabbalah this is a big discussion every name of Hashem right there's the seven famous names and they represent another Yesh May For example famously is the name of Yesh May Yesh May Rabba is there's a different Yesh May Rabba Yesh May Rabba is connected to Yesh May Rabba Yesh May Rabba is connected to Yesh May Rabba Yesh May Rabba Yesh May Rabba is connected to Yesh May Rabba Yesh May Rabba hey yud hey is connected to binah. The different names, it's discussed at length. What does this mean? The name essence with his dots and the grace of malchus basically these are the 10 spheres of malchus which are called malchus meaning the energy of Hashem that fills the worlds. Everything in the world has its kaily and it's all filled by divinity. So malchus is the way Hashem is manifested in the spheres of Hashem which each one has its own which each one has its own chemistry and identity and through this come all of the universes which are all basically they're all made up of 10 building blocks which are known as the 10 spheres. Just like physically we know that the building blocks of all matter are atoms and then atoms are formed into molecules etc. And everything ultimately can be traced back to those building blocks. So spiritually speaking those building blocks begin with spiritual building blocks which are called the 10 spheres. And that's the way Hashem is manifested in identity which are the names of Hashem. That's why there's different ways you have so many names. Cuz each name represents a different type of flow of energy. Just like a person has different names, right? Hopefully you have one name but one person has different names, right? You have your legal name, you have So They say why did Yisrael have seven names cuz he had seven daughters. And with each wedding he went bankrupt. So he changed his name. The bank was after him. So after every wedding he had a he used to have to make a nice he was a coin median. He had to make a beautiful wedding. Above his means so he went bankrupt so he had to change his name. What's the idea of a name? You have different What does it mean different names? Different ways through which people know you. Let's speak that way. Right? So you have the way the bank knows you. You have the way your wife knows you. It's different names. Hopefully they're not too paradoxical. But spiritually speaking, the different names of Hashem mean the different ways in which we get to know him. How do we get to know him? Depends what energy is manifested. The truth is every creature captures a different name of Hashem. Cuz everyone knows him in a different way. God of Hashem. The blessing of breath of student he writes in the office I think. I need that God of Hashem. I know that God of Hashem the focus is I need that. I know the way nobody else knows. Cuz I manifest an energy that is mine. That's my everyone does it differently. I need that. So there's so many different shame is different ways in which Hashem is known how by how he lets you be known. How he lets you know him through your uniqueness, through your unique element. But generally is the names of the spirit is the different 10 different names. I will God of what God of This is not this is God of that's the ancient in its purity. Peter she made out of all of all of all of my human beings out of us. Begin I'm sorry. It says in before the world was created there was only him and his name alone. What's this him and his name? What's his name? This is God of the ancient. Pre all of them. What's that pre all of them pre even before the concept of time and space and all of them and if is who is my What's that who is my he and his name alone he and his name he What's who is my what type of name did he have? So that is saying that's the queen of all of us that could have been there. That could have been there. Of the presence of ancient that includes everything in the world that was pre-creation of the world. What Peter she made out of all of all of all of my human being So, when you say "Yehei Shmei Rabba", the great name should be mevorach. L'olam ul'olmei olmaya means it should be accessed, it should be manifested even in the three worlds Briyah, Yetzirah, Asiyah. That the shouldn't conceal some of the world and we cannot allow it as we explained before. In all the worlds it should be the gilyui of some. What's l'olam ul'olmei olmaya? To the world and to the world of the world. Generally, there's the three worlds Briyah, Yetzirah, Asiyah that represents the three general worlds Briyah, Yetzirah, Asiyah as the possuk says. As the possuk says. As the possuk says. As the possuk says. As the possuk says. So, that's Omein Yehei Shmei Rabba. Shmei Rabba so the column mevorach mevorach we always learn brocha means amshacha. Brocha is like breicha smayim, a pool of water that flows from the source. So, it should be boruch venimshach amavreches hagafen. Brocha means amshacha, communication flow. The Shmei Rabba should come into olam ul'olmei olmaya Briyah, Yetzirah, Asiyah. Specifically, it's all the worlds from the highest to the lowest. This tears up a decree of 70 years. Pidorush. Just like the divine soul has seven middos of holiness. Each one encompasses 10. So, there's the seven middos of the nefesh Elokus in holiness, each one encompasses 10, so 10 * 7 is 70 or 7 * 10 is 70. The animal soul also has seven emotions, seven ways in which it expresses itself and viscerally manifests its experiences. Each one encompasses 10. The divine soul becomes enclosed in the animal soul in order to refine it. The days of our years in them are 70 years. What's in them? In them means the nefesh Elokus and the nefesh Bahamis. That's why "behem". Shiv'im shana 70 years. What's 70 years? 70 years essentially represent the seven midos of the nefesh Bahamis encompassed by 10 is 70. Each year represents one mida. Each Each I'm sorry, each century. Each 10 years. Each decade represents a mida. One mida encompasses 10 and that's 70. When you look at the brokenness or the toxicity of the midos of the nefesh Bahamis, seven midos, each one encompasses 10, nikra gezar din al shiv'im shana. This is called the decree of 70 years. The gezar din of 70 years, I'm not talking about some decree on this person to suffer chas v'shalom. It means the whole journey with all your machshavos zaros for 70 years, that's your gezar din. It's the trajectory of your life. It's every mida of the nefesh Bahamis that I have to deal with for 70 YEARS. THAT'S GEZAR DIN AL SHIV'IM SHANA. HUH? That's what it is. This is your 70 years. Your journey 70 years. Every mida of the nefesh Bahamis that you're dealing with. The nefesh Elokus comes into the nefesh Bahamis. The nefesh Bahamis is survival mechanism. It's coping skills of the animal consciousness that feel separate from God and lives in a world of darkness and is just trying to survive. All the instincts, all the mashavas, all the cravings, all the temptations, all the anxiety, PUT IT ALL ON THE SCALE. THAT'S EXACTLY IN THE SHALAYIM SHALOM. Everything you're dealing with from age one when you developed all your neural pathways of who I am and who I'm not and how I survive and how much you like me and how much you don't like me and how much you hate me and how much you don't hate me. That's exactly in the shalayim shalom. All your therapy sessions, I say, "Boom, put it all on." And every And if you don't go to therapy, all your potential therapy sessions. That's exactly in it. Huh? It's a good news or what? Oh, exactly. And he says in brackets, the maseches says the gam umam exactly in the shalayim shalom kapshuta. You say, "Okay, it's acute remus, but it's not 70 years. It's seven middos that encompasses 10." He says, "No, it's connected to 70 years also." Why? Kiyomim yutzru. The possuk says over there, "Yomim yutzru v'lo yachad bem." Every day was formed, it was created. K'dei l'vaded hamiddos hanefesh habahamis k'neged shishim ushnayim but it's not the 70 years, it's not on the yedei Adam as the lifespan of Adam says is 70 years, 80 years. The lifespan of the person is to be m'vaded the middos hanefesh habahamis. Umachmas hisgabrus harad hanefesh habahamis nimshach l'vav exactly binyan chiyus hayin shalom. So, yeah. So, my my life, 70 years, could be defined by the toxicity of the animal soul. Meaning for 70 years, I could be in survival mode, literally. Survival mode. So, now, how do you tear up this exactly What do you do with this Gzar Din? So, he says, for this you need When a person in this world has an opportunity to tune in to the flow of Kol Amen, which is Rabba Gadol that becomes subdued. And the glory of our is revealed in all of the world. They shouldn't anymore become a source of concealment that block the truth. So, the Gzar Din of 70 years gets torn up. What does it mean it gets torn up? That the concealment gets obliterated. The walls come down. It's like you tear down the walls. You crumble. The walls crumble. And the truth gets revealed. Yeah. You create clarity, exactly. This is what it means. So, now we understand what say Amen Rabba Kol Kocho. When you answer Rabba with your entire What does it mean with your entire Kocho? That the person to truly tunes in to the truth of Rabba Kol Kol Amen. meditation of Rabba. What is it? It's the meditation that we're living in a world of Kol Kol Kol Amen. And you Amen Rabba. That you're asking that Gadol should be Rabba. It should be viscerally manifested Kol Kol Kol Amen Baruch. That is what punctures. It tears up. It creates clarity. It removes the blockages of the Gzar Din of 70 years of the seven meters of the of Bahama which is the source of all the machshavos zaris of sitra achra that creates a scoffer sitra achra. In simple words, what it means is what does save of column and say? Save of column and is basically that I should be aware that right now in the midst of whatever I'm dealing with there's a deeper story. There's a deeper truth. There is a oneness that I'm being embraced by. Essentially, I'm infinite and this is infinite. And the infinite oneness of Hashem is present fully here right now even in this in this story. So you'll say, "No, this is craziness. This is insanity. It's overwhelming." Save of column and is that truth that requires the surrender to be able to go out of whatever I see with my physical eyes and what I'm experiencing with my physical eyes. And to be able to tune into a deeper and lean into a deeper reality that's love. Infinite love. Infinite oneness. And then the nefarious Bahama says because our dean gets torn up. The iron shana gets torn up. Because the person leans in to a much deeper truth of reality of their own ain soph and the fact that they're one right now with ain soph. And that's the deep truth. I am having all of these machshavos and all of these thoughts that are taking me away from presence. This is my opportunity to puncture the concealment and that's what ameni rabba is. That's what it means. So it's the awareness and it's the request that this shmay rabba should be viscerally manifested in my life. Cuz it's true, but the question is how much I'm relating to this truth. And that's what it's really all about. Every any any good of the nefarious Bahama you get to its secret through save of column. Cuz what does save of column and really mean? Save of column and means that right here, right now, you're fully in touch with truth. You're in a very good place. You're in a beautiful place. Even though the journey doesn't seem that way, the journey is through dealing with a tough experience or a tough challenge or a distracting challenge or whatever that looks like in the person's life, how the nefesh bahamis is showing up right now with its midos. And that's the whole nekudah of the ma'amar that the neshama came down into this world to reveal the truth of sovev kol olamim, which is be kulam olamim istalei kol kol dikhudu dikhudu. So, this sums up the whole inyan of my'amar chazal. Yeah, you Tofus. There's a long bracket here from the Tzemach Tzedek. Let's go to the end of the bracket. It's almost at the end of the paragraph. You have to go 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 lines from the end from the bottom of the paragraph. This the bracket ends. V'zeh al kein yomru ha'moshelim, boyu cheshbon boyu v'nachshuv cheshbonoshe leilah. So, now he comes back. The Gemara says in Maseches Bava Basra, when the possuk says al kein yomru ha'moshelim, therefore the moshelim, the poets used to say, boyu cheshbon, come to Cheshbon. Literally, Rashi means it means that Bilam told Sichon, you can go to Cheshbon, which used to be the city of Mayov, and you're going to conquer it, you're going to be successful, you'll defeat them. But what's the whole point? The Torah is recording some ma'aseh, a war between Mayov and with poetry. So, chazal say there's a remez here. Al kein yomru ha'moshelim, elu ha'moshelim be'yitzram. Those who rule the yeitzer hora, they always say boyu cheshbon boyu v'nachshuv cheshbonoshe leilah. Let's calculate the calculations of the world. So, he teitches now, what's the pshat peirush ha'moshelim, elu ha'moshelim misum hakafnas sitra achara l'kanal. Bishvil hishtaltus al gufnus bishvil me'at mashve d'vei ma'aseh b'nambei yushmi. Those who rule the yeitzer hora, meaning to subdue the sitra achara by smashing and breaking all of the ta'avos hagufni'im, the external bodily cravings, whether it's me'ah going away from evil and thought the words or an action or seeing or hearing. You know, there's any that takes you away from full presence with truth. That's Muslim those who manage to be in control of this. They live this purposeful life, meaningful life. to close their eyes, not to look at certain things or certain people but my even in action. Like we say sanctify yourself even with things which are permissible. Things could be permissible so that today if it's not pork. But it's still taking the person away from oneness. And through this they create the explosion that the is revealed in the whole concealment of all the words, even the highest holy spiritual worlds and it's only dealing with the eight here in this world that creates the of column. So what's the secret OF THE MUSLIM? WHAT MAKES the difference between those who have it under control and don't have it control? What makes a Muslim? Muslim means you're a ruler. YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT THIS. WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE? SO HE SAYS THESE ARE the people we're talking about. The people who live with this truth that at every moment in life they connect to and therefore they can rule. They as we explained through this this is what they say Their secret is they know how to say these words. Meditate on this truth. Let's calculate. Let's think about the calculation of the world. What does this mean? Peters. The first thing they know is that the world comes in the world of hell and concealment. There's a concealment in this world. That's the first thing they have to know. The first thing you have to know is what you see is not what you get. Don't judge the book by the cover. The first thing you have to know, you're living in the island of hell. You're living in a world of lies. That's the first path to healing. The first thing is you have to know there's a hell. That means I can have hundreds of instincts and thoughts and they're not representing the full truth of reality. They're extracting their their their their showing you 1% of the picture. You know pictures people know how to photographers know how to manipulate situations. The first thing you have to know is I love me lotion. There's a concealment. Concealment means that I'm prone to all different types of emotions and experiences and instincts that conceal a lot of the truth of my own reality and the reality of the reality. You have to know that. It's like reading a newspaper. My grandfather used to say, my father was a newspaper man. My grandfather didn't like newspapers. So he used to say, "Everything that says in the newspaper is a lie. Even the date. It was printed yesterday." Right? And with certain newspapers, we know how true that is. Right? You see a headline in the New York Times about Israel, you know it's the exact opposite. Right? Israel kills 21 Palestinian children. Boom! That's how the story is, of course. It's true. Yeah, 21 children Sometimes it's not even true. But what even if it's true? As they as they do they edit the news no context no context. So island means it's the world of concealment. A world of concealment means that the stories that you see and hear are very very partial or very very superficial skin deep. So that's the first thing. The island now they say not sure if has been you did this on a shamble of them has a good for a harsh shock. The next thing is they say now we have to make a hashbon. What's the secret of the neshama coming into this world? Into a dark body. They're aware of the quantum leap of the neshama that it was in a beautiful perfect place. So they have to be aware this is called real self-respect. You know who you really are. Why did the neshama make this journey? Only one reason to confront the other side. To confront concealment. That's what it came. It was in a world of revelation. This is what Muslims do. Muslims live with this consciousness. They always have every morning they say I'm actually beautiful gorgeous amazing free uninhibited holy SACRED PERFECT SOUL. WHY IN THE WORLD DID THIS PERFECTION COME into insanity? Tell me. Can anybody answer the question? WHAT'S THIS? Something happened here. That's why if you don't have an awareness of who you really are in your purity, it's a mess cuz now I'm the mess. I'm not I wasn't sent into the mess. I'm the mess. So that's the first thing you have to know. There's a concealment here. There's something concealing my truth, my identity, my purity. Why? The answer is in order to deal with the world to create the to puncture the concealment. More the tight the tight more and actually the main thing is obvious a harsh year. means something even more specific. You have to know the exact been of the concealment. What does that mean? Basically, the deeper the concealment, the deeper the light you need to penetrate it. This world is the lowest world. The darkness here is thick. It's dense. It's doubled and redoubled. It's toxic. In order to illuminate such thick darkness, YOU NEED LIGHT cuz only then will the darkness not eclipse and only then will you reveal you need true for this world. A small light won't help. It's too dark. You know, sometimes you have such a dense darkness, you bring in a match and it's just Yeah, it absorbs it and extinguishes it. If you go into a house, you could light a candle, it's enough. I will be mighty if you go into the basement of the cellar. If you go into the cellar, the summer might wait. The air there is dense. It's toxic. the rain It's down in the earth. It's the cellar under earth. To bring light into the density, the gas, the light, the thickness of the air of the atmosphere of the air, you need tremendous light. A small little light will be extinguished because of the thickness, the density, the gas means of the air. So, to illuminate the darkness in this world, you need tremendous lofty light. So, that's what a was sent for. The lamp of the soul is called a light and the Torah mitzvahs called there's a then you could transform the darkness into light. So now they have to make the how deep the concealment is it only means you need a much deeper light in order to illuminate it with the light of Torah and mitzvah. That's what it needs. Those who are what do they say? What do they know that I don't know? What do they do in the morning? You know you want to know what do the athletes do in the morning to have such successful days? What are the great business people the CEOs of with 10,000 people what do they do not to be stressed out yeah you always people go for coaching for years to figure out how to be functional right go into an ice plunge right away 6:00 in the morning jump into the ice. In order to be able to live your day fully. They're aware of a few factors that they connect to emotionally. The first thing is they understand that we're dealing with concealment. In other words the natural flow of things is there's a lie being told again and again and again you have to know that. If you're naive about that I become part of the problem not part of the solution. There's a concealment we live in a world of concealment. A world in which the godly the truth that everything is one. And the truth is that everything is really pure divine energy there's nothing else. It's completely eclipsed in other worlds it's not in this world it is. Ego is real evil is real brokenness is real loneliness is real detachment is real alienation is real separateness. MAYBE ON A HIGHER LEVEL, a lower level. There's so many degrees of darkness in this world. But, the common denominator is you don't look at the world and say "I ain't no good." and feel it. You don't. Maybe after years of learning the code of Torah and internalizing it, but the intuitive feeling is I'm alone. I met somebody once I knew and he was a very refined person when I knew him, very able. And I saw him once he was I said, "What happened?" He said, "I work with sharks. I became a shark." Right? It's very easy to become a shark. You become a shark. What's the one of the one of the deepest pains in life is when you're misunderstood? Sometimes when innocent people are misunderstood. You have this a lot. Innocent, pure people. They're misunderstood by their spouse, by their in-laws, by their family, by other people. They think that they're cruel and sadistic and manipulative. And you're really as pure as I don't know, as pure as an innocent dove. As pure as an angel and you're misunderstood. It's one of the It's one of the most painful realities in life. Huh? Embarrassment. It's a very, very painful reality. And you need to agree with this reality cuz sometimes people, very innocent people, are just misunderstood. They're misunderstood to be exploitative and manipulative and and sinister and they're not. But, there's a There's even a bigger tragedy than being misunderstood is that what happens is being misunderstood is you buy into the lie and you don't you misunderstand yourself. You start thinking you're the you're the monster. You're evil. You're you're you don't you become you buy into the external perception of who you are. And that's what happens. The Muslim al kayem al Muslim is they don't do that. They understand this. They have real, real self-respect in a beautiful, humble way. You know that your soul needed nothing of this. Your soul is fine. It's in divine bliss. It needs nothing. It's no ego It's not an egoist. It's not a gunner. It's not a gunner. It doesn't need validation. It doesn't need any of this. And the question is why did it come into a place of so much concealment? And then it understands that that's what it's all about. The moment it has that clarity of who I am and what I'm confronting, now you're good to go. Now you don't get confused. Now you know this is the hellum. This is what I'm dealing with. This is my opportunity to penetrate and reveal save of columnin. And yes, there's a pain in this because it's a terrible descent, but it's for a glorious aliya. And furthermore, by you have a nachas of naches from they understand that the deeper concealment, the more light they need. And that's the whole power of the neshama coming into this place to reveal this. Like you wrote in your letter to all, it's only the neshama that can crack the code that no other worlds can. All the go go crazy. They're like, "Don't get me close to this world. We don't go there." Only the neshama volunteered and IT TOLD GOD, "GOD, I GOT THIS." I got this. We got this. Huh? Yeah. Yeah, the other one said it of and he said it's a Menachem of al pi dikduk. Why is it called Menachem of? Cuz we want to be comforted by our fathers. He said then it should be called of Menachem. Menachem of means you comfort your father, not your father comforts you. Of Menachem means the father comforts. Menachem of means you comfort the father. So he said says, you know, this is the Lubavitcher Rebbe, vintage Lubavitcher Rebbe. He says, "Yeah, that's really what happens." We comfort the father. The beginning of Hashem is of is pure because it's ain sof. I'm like, "Oh my God look at this crazy world and the neshama says God I got this. And he said then Yaffa Kocha Ben Me Kocha Av, the neshama brings out an Indian in Hashem that Kavyochol is not revealed even in the father. Cuz the FATHER IS THE FATHER, he's infinite. The neshama says I'm going to go into a place where everything is dark, Kol Ha'Olam Churban Shvuta, and I got this. Menachem Av. And he said "Iniglu Avosai." The Gemara says Hashem said "Nitzchuni Banai, Nitzchuni." My children have been victorious over me. We really we're victorious over Hashem. It's a whole Gemara in Bava Metzia Daf Nun Tes that they they Rebbi Shmuel argued with the Bas Kol. So Hashem said "My children were victorious over me." How could you be victorious against God? So he says cuz Yaffa Kocha Ben Me Kocha Av means two things. One hand, Kocha Ben is Me Kocha Av, even the Yaffa is Me Kocha Av, but it's still Yaffa cuz the Ben brings out things that in the father were concealed. In Hashem himself, Hashem is infinite, doesn't bring out the oneness. The way the soul comes into a world and still retains that oneness, Kavyochol, it's the part of Hashem that tells God I'm going to go into places that you don't go. And I'll bring it all back. So it brings out a Chelek in Hashem Kavyochol that's deeper than the Av. Menachem Av, it comforts the father. That's pretty heavy stuff. That's the that's the that's the Menachem Av. You see it also with a father and a child. A child sometimes teaches the father parts of himself that he doesn't know about. They're also from the father. What your children have from come from the father and the mother, but they bring out sub sub sub sub conscious truths that in your own life were not revealed in the positive and sometimes the other way around, right? If you want to know who you really are, look at your children. Children manifest all the unresolved, fragmented, unhealed parts of their parents. And then we get upset at with They're just showing you who you are. Deal with it. But it's also in the positive. The ben sometimes brings out at some of the father to the father by him it wasn't revealed. So he touched but it brings out the at some of the oven in a way that it was not revealed in in in the of cuz over there what's revealed is a kiss. What's the reveals here is the ultimate truth of oneness that the ultimate is really only a to ultimate the real side of column. So it's a move. Okay. So now we will take a little break. And that's the code of the beast of the beast from have this awareness. They know who they are essentially. They know what the is, what it looks like and therefore they know how to deal with it. And they understand that the deeper the the more are you need. Because you really have to get to the bottom of it. If it a little nail won't do the job. You need to be fully fully fully luminescent. You need that full of the because you're a seller. It's an underground seller where it's like crazy fumes. It's crazy toxic poisonous dark fumes. You need a whole different light to be able to penetrate it. They're aware of the why did I come down? What's the purpose? It's a sister era. And then they can do it. And it's always with a of understanding that the more the more the more are you need. Huh? What's the whole thing? doesn't stop me I could scream on top of my lungs. Okay. I got to stop them. And Carlin you know they scream. But the whole means with the whole of the of the Hamas. It's a different word, right? It doesn't stand I do it with all my strength. I mean that's also that's also really means on a level. On a quality level with all the of the of the Hamas to be able to reveal in them in the above. And it's all I should just add it's all it's all begins with energetically. I mean it's not words. I know it's words also, but it's energetically. When energetically what I mean is what is not just a technical thing. A comes in and I take it and I throw it away. is not always a it's an energy. It's like a it's like a You don't want to talk about an energy comes in boom it like penetrates. And it takes over it hijacks from within. You know like a cell that has a virus. A virus comes in and then hijacks a cell. It like comes in it's not necessarily the thought and not and a philosophy. That's not what we're talking about. That could also be. It means just just that energy of concealment. That energy of despair. Right? Could be right now you're sitting that energy that says not none of this makes sense to me. Just an energy. None of this is practical for me. None of this is is real for me. Right? Or ultimately, you know, let's just go back to regular life. All of these things it's that energy of the of the Hamas saying, you know, despair. You're a victim. What was will be, what will be was. And okay. Or any stress that comes in around this. That's all what we're talking about. That's why it's very very practical stuff. And the ability to be able to to to embrace that. Not to ignore it. Not to repress it. Not to deny it. What what do we also learn from this my man? Don't deny your darkness. If you deny your darkness, you're forfeiting the whole purpose. Don't make believe there's only light. For that we don't need you don't No, there's not only light. There's darkness. You don't have to deny it. You don't have to run away from it. You could you could be there with it. It's a whole different approach. So, you could take this energy and say, "Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. There's darkness. Wow. You really really You really You really did it You're doing a job on me. Okay, nice. You're doing a good job." And then you say, "And now we'll crack the code. And now we'll crack the code of 7 of column. Crack the code of creation. Yeah, breathe. Breathe. It's always helps. Breathe. You got to breathe. Without breathing you can't do this work. You got to breathe. It's it's heavy stuff. Okay, everybody have a beautiful day and an inspiring day and a meaningful day. And a day of Al Cain and Ruach Moshiach by your husband. Nachas of his by the children, yeah.