Life Lessons - Shiur @ Shaarei Tefilah in 5 Towns

Thank you, too. your mother. Rabbi Daniel Kahlus, Kahlus. We appreciate you so much. We wish you a happy Mother's Day, too. >> [cough and clears throat] >> Rabbi Daniel Kahlus, yes, Rabbi Chiva of the sister organization of Barry, and he's known for his unconditional acceptance of every Jew. And that's going to connect with the inspiration that goes far beyond the walls of of his face mattress to the world at large. We so appreciate his message. And indeed, we have had many requests to have Rabbi Daniel Kahlus come and address Rabbi Kahlus, we're so happy for the location of this talk after going from shore to shore in our efforts in this series. And it was especially meaningful since Shaarei Tzion >> [clears throat] >> was the home of the Daf Yomi share for many, many years. Of your father, our Rabbi Daniel Kahlus, Rabbi Joshua, Kahlus. That's all. His yard site was this past week, and he was very generous in our community. Thank you, Rabbi Daniel Kahlus, for being Can we just offer a round of thanks to Debbie for organizing [applause] First of all, thank you, Mrs. Isaacowitz, for your kind words. And first of all, I'm excited to be close friends with Mrs. Isaacowitz's son, who's inheriting his throne. Impact and give learning Torah and teaching Torah. So, it's just it's an honor to be here and thank you for your words. Your speech before was really just like you said in that story, asking your mother reunited with her son. Incredible story, incredible tool. So, thank you for having me and certainly the mission statement of this group, the unifying, the fact the community, different people, different shuls coming together. This is something you mentioned the the captains to me like a a personal mission, a personal thing that has to be we're one people, we're one people. It's not a small thing, our different brands. It's not to put down Spira, Ashkenaz, Litvish, Chassidish. Well, that is there's a space, there's different there's different customs and it's a beauty that we have different shrakim. It's a beauty, we're a robust people. But deeper yet, one people, one people. Am Yisrael, it's me, it's you, it's us, one people. I enjoy appreciate a lot shuls and there's certain places that are magnificent with this. It's something that's important to me. Before Simchas Torah 2 years ago, I did not go around speaking much in my life. It wasn't that speaking is wonderful and there people go around and it's an important thing. I felt to man my post, I have something in yeshiva, I have a family and whatever. I did not go around speaking. After Simchas Torah, exactly, I just had a sense one people, Am Yisrael, a Jew. And anything that gathers our people, the fact we have different shuls is wonderful, each with their flavors, each with their subtle, we're one people. In the last in the past 2 weeks, I gone I I I met in Stern College with hundreds of girls, precious. I'm going in a couple of weeks, in 2 weeks I'm going to um to Monroe to speak to the Satmar community there. And they're the same as Satmar community in Stern College. It's all one people. We're one people, literally one people. We're just one people, a Yid. A Yid is It's It's just true. It's not a slogan. It's not a Yid is a big thing. Am Yisrael, a Yid. Before Before Simchas Torah, Klal Yisrael was like a concept to me. Somehow in the capturing of the hostages, I I discovered what it means to be a Am Yisrael, a Yid. Before Before Before we've gone through those 2 years that we went through as a people, so let's say like a Pesach, I was trying to like Sukkah to connect myself to Am Yisrael. There's a story with Am Yisrael and there's me. Okay, let me try. Tisha B'Av, Klal Yisrael went through something tonight. Simchas Torah changed it all. Am Yisrael means me and you. Tomorrow, we're Am Yisrael. My mom We're We're It's not concept, Am Yisrael. It's not a It's me. When you Pesach, you're not trying to like take yourself and see if you can like I sat Pesach I I I'm not being exaggerating. There was a time in my seder this year. I was with my family and I were saying it. Hundreds of Yidden, probably hundreds come through the seder. People come in and out. We're in a hotel. We have a private room, but a lot of people join for a minute, 10, an hour, a few or a few hours. But I felt the sense I got goose bumps at one point. I'm not like it's at We're in the middle of our journey. We're like traveling. We're in the middle of our story. We're like We didn't get there to say it yet. We're not there yet. We're going through it, us. Not like I wasn't trying to like connect to us. Tisha B'Av, I wasn't trying to learn somebody else's story. It's my story that I next to me, the people next to me. It's our story. So, I just appreciate this this gathering from different shuls, from different and that's [snorts] the mission statement of this Berkshire series. To me that's that's we need that. We need a lot of that and that's just the truth. Great barriers. I'm excited to have a close connection in the in the Sephardic community. I've gone to Great Neck a whole bunch of times and and there's two different types of Sephardic and there's the and each one with their own culture. There's Bukharian, Syrian, and Moroccan and each one it's wonderful. There's no classes. It's the show. We're destroying. There's no classes. There there is a year. The fact that there's different and hugging is wonderful and to be celebrated and not uh pushed away. That's wonderful. But there's a year. Sephardic Ashkenazic and the different brands of Sephardic, different brands of Hasidic. There's a year. It's it's just a real with May Ron. Somebody joked to me in shuls and in in Kiryat Sefer there's shuls. So, they call [snorts] it like the Yotzei Chevruta, the graduates of Chevruta. They have a shul. The graduates of Mir they have a shul. So, somebody told me on a certain shul that with the Yotzei Mitzrayim. Deeply yet this So, I think this this If if this is the mission statement of Sacha Shear, one of the mission statements I'm very thankful to be here. I I I came here with thoughts what I was going to speak about, but when I pulled up it changed. >> [clears throat] >> And this whole year has been a very very beautiful, difficult, but just an important year for myself, for my whole family. I can't speak on behalf of my mother. I could say that anybody who needs a mona in our entire in our sham and chazal the laws and the flow of our family was today last night was the first time I heard a song in a year without guilt. I'm in Yeshiva so I hear a lot of songs. Last [laughter] night was a guilt-free song. [snorts] My brother My brother said it's his first song in a year. I said it's my first guilt-free song. My father has My father held very strongly at baseball games that you not let it go lower seats. When you go to a baseball and you buy a certain ticket, he held it was ganeiva. My father with money was if he was very lenient in many areas. When it came to money, he was a huge machmir. And he held it was ganeiva. You buy it None of my siblings will go down. We buy a ticket to a game, we're sitting where we're sitting. You don't go down. You buy a Mets ticket in the mezzanine, you're not going down to box. You are where you are. He held it was ganeiva. He held it was stealing to go down. You didn't pay for that. So, he gave He spoke in Yeshiva when I was in 11th grade. My father said to the shiur, "It's ganeiva." And he explained to us why it's stealing and the importance of somebody else's money. So, he spoke to us maybe on a Thursday. On Sunday, Monday, a guy comes to Yeshiva said, "Rebbi, Rebbi, your shmooze worked." So, Rebbi Shmuel said, "My son, I'm so glad you went to a game. You didn't go down." And he said, "I went down. I feel so guilty." >> [laughter] [laughter] >> So, I don't even bring that such a thing that such a thing that the guilt is less. I know that very impacts less. But, um the the laws of our family was are so The Torah knows us. Hashem knows me. It's It's wild. Hashem knows us b'manish. The laws from the first three days to the 7 days. You start even till the cruel of the laws. You don't do mitzvahs until the cruel of the My father was a person incredible rigorous concentration. He did something focused. He was in. Very focused person. He learned entire we were playing grown up in the room and didn't I never was told "Shh, let's stop playing, throw in the ball." We did what we very focused person. And it was fast and right off the start we didn't we weren't having mitzvahs. We were going to my father to bring him There was one mitzvah focus. Basic the mitzvah part of the mitzvah we were focused. The halachas entire year the three to seven shloishim the year to to the yahrtzeit all the halachas and the flow of the year I can speak about this. It's not I'm not prepared for it. The the sense the halachas held reflects where you're holding, when you could get a haircut, when you just every aspect of the shiva be where you are. Be where you are. Be in touch with me. Don't ignore. Don't avoid. Even that you can't listen to music. Music has a beautiful space but the halachas that say feel where you are. Don't run. Don't hide. Be present to your situation. The whole year of avelus is just been a sense. Chazal know us. The Torah Hashem knows us. And we were zocheh the family to culminate the year of this year of avelus. We were together with my mother with the siblings together the Americans and ones that are living here. And we spent the shabbos together the the yahrtzeit we spent together with my mother. And it was just a very powerful shabbos being together with my mother together with the together with all the siblings. An extremely, extremely powerful Shabbos, specifically being in the shul that my parents built. The community together they grew and gave so much there. It was very, very powerful. This sense, my brother said last night, he said, "Are you happy kind? My father still lives." And this sense, the day after I shall the ashka of Hashem, the day I finished Kaddish was very, very hard. After 11 months I stopped saying Kaddish, it was very, very hard to stop, to let go like that. Early in middle of the year you're grinding, you're pushing through me, trying to be on time to minyanim. It was a pushing, struggling, succeeding even sometimes. And and to um to then stop the Kaddish was very, very difficult. And bashka the next morning after I finished Kaddish I found myself, it never happens in in 20 years, it's I was in my father's shul, there was ashka held that light that I just ashka. I was in my father's shul for Shacharis on a Friday morning on Chol HaMoed. And it was very comforting. I wasn't saying Kaddish, but there I felt people were coming over, stories about my father, recollections. And the chaos, the chaos that goes on, the chaos, that which is built and doors, that he can be in his house and clean kind. And being in that shul with his with his love about and with his friends, with his made them, with the people that he impacted, it was tremendous, tremendous his work, an encouragement. That which was indoors, this is forever. Service to Hashem indoors, this this is a kind. And being there was a tremendous, tremendous his work. Just there were there were like all the Shabbos I felt hyper alert. Energy, a lot of energy. So I wanted express that being here again and pulling in front. I I'm going to say something different than I wanted to because pulling in front of this building and coming the day after this is now we're pushing forward we're after our failures. And and I want to express that being here in Shari the next morning being in Shari Tila, a place that my father taught Torah for so many Sundays to hear even that the sheer will be sponsored all the shammas and all the sponsors whatever thing they sponsored for at least the shammas or for close to fruition should all talk and happen. I want to express one of the names I heard sponsored is the is the Bergen family. To hear that here for decades my father learned Torah and taught Torah to Mr. Sam Bergen. They had a casual nachas together for sure and shalom. And they learned Torah and my father was to have a minion here for years. His random sheer may be the best sheer I ever heard from my father. I have the right to say that he gave a random sheer here for decades. Beautiful random sheer. So, to pull to this holy mark in Shari Tila, a place where my father learned Torah and taught Torah and davened, [snorts] it's it's an honor. So, I want to share with you a shot that I'm that I'm thinking. Could it be a practical tool very possibly? I want to I want to share something with everybody here. I was only in my life to learn one mesechta cover to cover with my father. The last couple of months I've been learning the mesechta myself because I'm attaching my nefesh to my father. And there's nothing like Torah to attach to the neshama of the departed. As a matter of fact, bring that more important than going to the kever on the yard side is if you can learn the safer of the departed. Swarms bring it's bigger. Go to the kever is huge. Learn from the safer. My brother Mayor Simcha was a tired looking person he quoted from the safer it was very special on the yard site to quote from the safer. So I was very going to learn the safer from the bottom cover to cover every word of the run every word of the entire entire message with my father and that's such a hazard to me. I want to share a good word with you and a possible chat. It's on not this week's portion but this is what I'm thinking when I pulled up today and I want to share this with you. The good word is going to be >> [clears throat] >> this week's portion. Goes to fight a war. He hears King and his brother has been captured and he fights a war. He takes his it's like remarkable. We're so used to things so we we don't remember to be shocked and surprised. It's crazy. He comes to one day he says we're not learning today. What's happening? You know we could do something crazy and whatever we're going to the pizza shop. This guy never done comes to the and he says we're fighting a war today. Let's go and he takes his he hands out weapons and they're fighting. A guy asked me this year and I love friction. We all have don't be afraid to ask. Somebody told me this year I don't like him. I like that friction. Don't be pretend we can get real places from where we are. We don't have to I love you. He doesn't like him. That's a friction. I shall be with you and your experiences you struggle. That's that's amazing. You get real places. You get places going walks with that. That's that's a serious what's happening inside. So a guy asked me this year he said I'm struggling that we're fighting for 20 captives we're losing more than 20 people. Mhm. >> [snorts] >> That's friction. That's amazing. People are so afraid of their questions. That's amazing. He's struggling. He's struggling. It's not even like I I'm not a big answer type of guy. He should walk That's That's something that's That's huge. The first thing is block friction. We all have tons of real friction inside. A guy sits in the chair. The rabbi's saying, "Isn't this gishmak?" And he's like, "This is boring like I have >> [clears throat] [laughter] >> Nobody should pretend. He shouldn't join in focus on that. He's not He's not fascinated. I don't even know why I'm learning this rashba. That's That's friction. That's healthy. It's healthy. Don't ignore that. Don't pretend. Go on walks with that. >> [clears throat] >> The anguish that he gets is a good place to be. So, this friction of us that we're fighting for 20 and we're losing with 20. I'm struggling. I read the parsha in the Torah. Avraham Avinu says to his precious talmidim Kivan Hamemush, his children. Avraham Avinu says to his kids, "Come, candle of my home, to fight a war." People die in wars. Wars are really scary. Avraham Avinu says we're fighting a war against the four most powerful kings, Kinishba Achav, cuz my nephew's been captured. I'm fighting for him. Now, in any cheva, you're losing Of course, he's losing more than one in the war. Where's the math? Kinishba Achav, my brother's captured. I'm not learning. I'm not sitting here. I'm not continuing on. Kinishba Achav, my brother's captured. I am not just going on. I'm not ignoring. We're going to fight. Kinishba Achav, you took my brother. I'm fighting. I'm not I refuse to do any math. You have my brother. You have my brother. I'm not into math right now. Kinishba Achav, my brother? I'm not just sitting here you have my brother you're holding my brother. That's my mission soaking in the turkey nishba'ah kin. And he takes and he takes his talmidim. By Yarkas and he arms his talmidim and they go and they go fight. Now the Gemara Darmei Beis Zeicher to learn with my father. And the Gemara Darmei says two things about this by Yarkas Zeicher of arming his soldier arming his arming his students. The Gemara says three things I want to share with you. I am I want to say this that I'm mishtaymin from all the Yidden in Eretz Yisrael. I'm amazed by the Yidden that fight in the army amazed. The soldiers I can say I have a camp in the summer we brought parents of the soldier who passed away they told us about their son. We met this [snorts] family remarkable remarkable people just really incredible people and the soldiers who do fight I have a brother-in-law who's in Gaza who's a family of five his children amazing tzaddikim fighting for Am Yisrael with kodesha the holiness. We have 40 guys in the yeshiva fought them people fighting for Eretz Yisrael was for Yidden for kodesha holy. I'm mishtaymin from the Yidden who are not who are sitting and learning Torah. The the the the learning of Torah the concern for their children they're afraid the army would affect their kids I'm amazed by them amazed by us I say us it's us and us. I'm amazed I have friends and relatives and nephews who wouldn't go to the army I'm amazed by them and by their choices. But emes emes is there a friction between those two sides 100%? I think us us some the people coming from both sides are tasked with conversion session. We all of class are beautiful people with beautiful lights, tremendous art each year each shabbos. And we can be class on that session will have a unity in class with different opinions. I do want to share cuz you have to learn Torah. Do you know the Gemara says that Avraham Avinu and this is not taking a side, it's learning the Gemara and I don't have a side. I I love us and us and our people. I don't know how to It's us and us. Like your brothers that have an argument and you're the third brother, you just love both your brothers and and and just appreciate each brother. The Gemara says that Avraham Avinu had three chatan that caused us to go to Mitzrayim and one of the chatanim is his talmidim were learning Torah and he took them to the army. And the Gemara says Avraham was punished al she asah garia of the talmidei chachamim. In the words of Rashi um in the words of the Ramban and the Dar Lo shaliach chachamei Yisrael es talmidim to war. Dahainu bnei Adam she chiyenu Torah. His talmidim were designated for Torah should not have been brought to war. Now, I'm not coming at all. I'm not coming to take sides. I'm coming to express the value of the learners of Torah. And there was some ones that Avraham Avinu vayareg es chanichav. He took his talmidim that were learning Torah and he brought them to the war. There was some ones that they should have remained learning Torah. And al she asah garia Gemara Lav Bais and the Dar. Al she asah garia of the talmidei chachamim. He was punished. He took the people supposed to be learning and brought them to war? The Avraham Avinu did it, but there was some einish for that. Very very fascinating just expressing Avraham did it. He brought them to war and to fight. And then there was some einish. Very interesting. I almost hear a validation of both sides. You're not doing too bad to be like Avraham, but there was some there was some pegan sh'as garyel tami Now, I want to express says Vayarech es chanichav. Avraham Avinu comes to his shiva and he's about to take his yeshiva to fight a war. And the pasuk lach l'cha Vayarech es chanichav tzumach like this amaron. What that means Gemara dar am lamed beis. Says the Gemara Rav Amar Shmuel Vayarech b'Torah. Rav says he first was m'chazek them in Torah. They're about to fight a war and he was m'chazek. He strengthened his chevra in Torah. Now, that Vayarech b'Torah I totally understand. Of course what we need to do is shtadlanus. Of course we need soldiers. We need to fight. We also need z'chus haTorah. Torah is magen. The Torah protects. The Torah guards Am Yisrael. And we need z'chus haTorah. It's a non-negotiable thing. We need z'chus haTorah. We need Torah. And and Vayarech b'Torah means before they fought the and he was m'chazek limud haTorah. We need to fight and we also need z'chus haTorah. And so Rav says Vayarech es chanichav means he armed them. He encouraged them in Torah. But I want to discuss Shmuel and I want That's what I want to talk the most primarily today about Shmuel. Shmuel says Shmuel Vayarech b'sav. He gave out gold. Very interesting. They're about to fight a war and Avraham Avinu starts giving out cash. Some sort of gold, he starts paying them. What's happening? What's happening? >> [clears throat] >> Avraham Avinu is giving out money to his to his coming. He's like starting to He's paying all of his coming. Now, the simple shot is they're about to fight, he pays them to fight. Simple shot. He's paying them What's What's the title of the recording? Avraham would go to fight. If soldiers deserve money, they get. What's this that Avraham Avinu gives them money? Avraham Avinu lived a very nomadic experience. He was separate from society, separate and very moral. Avraham Avinu had a Yeshiva and a settlement. The people came to Avraham and they studied Hashem. >> [snorts] >> Now, they did They were not part of any community. The Avos lived a nomadic existence. Reb Miller says because they didn't want to be impacted. They wanted to impact and not get impacted. So, they lived separate from the Avos. They lived their own little shtetl, their own little city, their own private place not to be impacted. And of course, then he would go and impact. People would come and be impacted. Avraham Avinu's bringing his Yeshiva to fight wars. They were going to come in touch with Sedom, with dangerous, corrupt countries, people struggling. In general, warfare is conquest, a lot of money captured. They captured Sedom, billions of dollars belonged to Avraham and his men. Mel Sedom said, "Avraham, keep it all." War, conquest has massive dangers. In general, in fighting wars, there's tremendous promiscuity in armies. There's a lot of danger when people fight, the danger of becoming very physical and forgetting who you are. A lot of dangers in warfare. Dangers of interaction with the umas. Dangers of connecting, of being mamish very part of society. And Avraham Avinu poshit chat, he gives out money. Avraham Avinu gives out money. The simple chat is he gives out money that his talmidim should feel they have cash, so they shouldn't be tempted. [clears throat] There's a lot of temptations. So he gives them all cash in their pockets. Now, I don't learn that's don't try this literal. That's chat my father taught us. Always learn chat. I don't picture that Hashem that the Torah is trying to tell me, that Shmuel is trying to tell me. I the scene I I may know the Rebbe's dollars on a Sunday morning. The Rebbe's dollars is beautiful. Avraham Avinu handing like cash. Johnny would never learn this way. Hashem Avraham's like handing cash to all of his talmidim. If I'm not saying that didn't happen. What do Chazal say? What do Chazal If you call me chiddush, guilty as charged. What are Chazal saying? He handed out cash. What's happening? Vayarek es chanichav. He gave out money to his talmidim. Chanichav. This is the first time chinuch is mentioned in the Torah. Chanichav. The people he was educating, the people he was training, he handed out cash. I wanted to say something to everybody here that's just true. I spent the year with my dad this year, consistent thinking about him, being with him, absorbing his lessons, absorbing his essence. I don't know another person in the world who enjoyed I'll mazel more than my father. I don't know another person who enjoyed nice nice piece of chicken schnitzel just enjoy just enjoy with no just enjoy it's like a strange thing I shouldn't send souls here and my father was a soul that worked in mazel. He was focused Torah learning and teaching Torah to my parents to learn and teach Torah with a singular focus to encourage and uplift learn and teach and inspire and focus. And along the way that suffering just enjoy your schnitzel who grilled better schnitzel than my father. Along the way a person you need good tennis game give it. Play tennis enjoy it enjoy a good tennis game. A good smoke and schnitzel together with heaven. Somebody who literally enjoyed this world. I want to express from from the greatest gifts I got from my parents from the greatest gifts. I meet many guys in the Shiva and I want to talk to you and I even if you went to this was supposed to be some tools. I want to talk to you and I I'll show you practically a couple of minutes. I see many guys in the Shiva and I see people who have a sense they have fun but oh there's fun. One of the greatest gifts my father gave me my parents gave me and my siblings and anybody was to be around him is we have blessed in the life of service to Hashem. This world from the very start Hashem made the world a beautiful world. And he made it from Israel. He made it for the learner of Torah for the the gracious he made it for us My father loved to say from the shalom I don't have it on me this moment yes it's says a line that we're not created for this world because who's happy in this world? That sounds very at first reading it's like he says one in a thousand you won't find is happy but the shalom that my father loved that safer he also loved the world equally loved the world and the safer and the shalom describes that there's nobody happy here When you read it carefully and I advise a careful reading and this is not like a cute shot you just have to read it carefully He's saying the person who lives for this world and that's what you're about that's your focus that's your essence it's It can't be it's not that it's not it It's not it You have a hundred you want two hundred two hundred four hundred it's not it This world is beautiful Hashem looks at the world and says wonderful world wonderful delicious wonderful When you're focused who we are and what we are the world is wonderful Such a nice place so many good things for for encouragement deeper than that to connect to Hashem just to enjoy it feel the love of Hashem When we're about and the shalom here with a mission with a task and to bring the light each of us a unique light and then the world to enjoy comfortably the the kindnesses of Hashem that encourage along the way that cause us to connect Hashem that cause us that we're seen by Hashem that cause us to sense we're being taken care of by Hashem It's a beautiful world. The world is a beautiful place. And I want to express that Avraham Aveinu, to me, pashut chat, I think this is I think it's obviously chat. Vayar Hashem was an attitude. He's bringing his talmidim to war, interact, the world, oh my goodness, what's going to be? Are they going to go off the derech? They're going to be exposed. Vayar Hashem, his talmidim were filthy rich. They were rich. It's not like a technique, my father took us on trips. He took us, he played ball with us, but it wasn't like a chinuch trick. Tricks don't work. Don't do any tricks. Vayar Hashem was a reality. His talmidim were filthy rich, Avraham Aveinu's talmidim. Vayar Hashem that he gave them cash. I don't suspect cuz Avraham like a schmuck, they're about to go to war, they're going to get tempted. Here's a dollar, okay, now, but if you hand them a hundred dollars, they'll be more tempted by war. If you have a hundred, you want two hundred, it's That's a bad plan. You're about to I mean, Vayar Hashem that he made rich those that he was mechanech was a reality. I [clears throat] never sensed, and I could ask my mother, I don't think my father like brought us to ball games cuz he doesn't want us go off the derech. It wasn't I mean, Hashem made the world for the servant of Hashem. I don't think it was He wasn't like that. I'm going to have You know, whatever chab. That wasn't how he was living. That wasn't He didn't grill the steak this way. You won't go off to have a good schnitzel. Hashem made a beautiful world. He told us He told me, "You shall me at the end of the first perek of Kiddushin." You shall me says he after a hundred twenty, Hashem's going to mun us. He's going to ask us, "I made something nice. I made the Alps. Why didn't you see them?" Going going us. I made nice things for you. I'm was trying to give you something nice. Why didn't you Why didn't you enjoy that? The way he utilized the world, the clear a clarity of who we are, and then the beautiful world, and he gifted us to a to be his the ones he was by Yarik he made us rich. We never sensed and I meet guys who have sensed that the happiness the fun stuff's there. No, no, but we we have to be from All the fun stuff was made for us. All the stuff I share made in the world. There was such a clarity, such a sense. The things I share made a beautiful world. He didn't like create nice things a nice river and then he rafted on it. He brought rafts and and he rafted on the rivers. It's the beautiful world I share made for for the lovers of Israel for the lovers of Torah. And there's a beautiful world and learning remembering who we are, remembering what we're about. Each of us is a light. It's a tremendous task and it's a tremendous shine that we have. And then the use of the world in a beautiful way, understanding man was made for us for us. And and the world is a precious place. There's a line I say over this year. This is just true. I spoke to my siblings about this line. Rabbi Israel Salanter famously said Yiddish gashmius is your ruchnius. Somebody else's gashmius is your ruchnius. A very good line. Very true line. We're aware of that line. I want to say on my father something different. His gashmius became our ruchnius. Things he liked he liked skiing. How How people are closer to Hashem because of my father's ski trips? Now, somebody in Eretz Yisrael said, well-meaning, he only did the ski trips cuz he wanted other people he wanted to give everything to other people. He actually likes skiing, I promise you. He really likes skiing. It wasn't the Hashem made us and made us to enjoy the world b'simcha when we remember who we are and don't lose focus. A person shakoach forgets what the neshama forgets what we're here, forgets that we have a light to shine each of us uniquely in our own stations, a beautiful light to shine. If we forget that, so then it's true and then we're shakoach chasing the delights in the world forgetting tafkid, so then it's true then sharam who's happy chasing like that? Find me the person 100 200 200 400. We can't find the person's happy. But a person knows what we are, remembers focus. You can like have [snorts] the nice things. We stop for breakfast. We're middle of the day we stop for breakfast, enjoy the breakfast. Remember to enjoy Remember to be present to it. Remember to enjoy that nice bowl of cereal. A guy told me, my father in Philly Yeshiva he was a youngster he was learning incredible hours. I heard from people wild hours. A guy who was there in shaarayim downstairs told me downstairs. He turned to me during the shiur and he said to me, I remember in Philly your father loved eating cookies. And he had it There was no guilt. It wasn't There was a sense of good cookie b'simcha. B'simcha. The world that Hashem gave us Avraham Avinu's talmidim were wealthy talmidim. If you want to understand that I suspect this is where you can argue on my father with the man that works in shaatnez. Sounds like Yarkis Chanicha is right before he took them, he did something. The way now I'm learning is he had been Yarkus. He had sold them with gold, that's why he was able to take them. They would tell me they were felt wealthy. They would tell me they were felt wealthy. It wasn't like a danger. Oh my goodness, if they go there, they'll go off the derech. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I feel a certain confidence because of my father. I don't have fears my son, if he goes there, if he sees that, oh my we have a lot and I'm not saying we have a lot of kind of we're very afraid. Oh my goodness, if your son's with that boy, he's going to bring him off the derech. We have a lot of fears and it comes from good places. It comes from very good places. It comes cuz we have something precious and we certainly want to guard what we have for sure. For sure and I'm not mocking our fears and expressing there's such a thing. It's not how I think a lot. By Yarkus Hanichov, Avraham Avinu's came to his yeshiva, a lot of us says not a good idea, they're going to go off the derech. So have we're going to fight a war, come. Come. They're going to become that strong. You know who they're they're going to Stahleites. They're going to be side by side. Who are they going to fight with around? It's a dangerous place army. Going to go out there conquering countries, crazy stuff. By Yarkus Hanichov, his Hanichov, those he was entrusted to be mechanech, he had armed them gold and silver. They were rich people. I think in our own lives, I'm not just talking about for our children one day. In our own lives to absorb the [snorts] kindnesses of Hashem that he intended for us. Of course focusing on mission, of course busy with what we're supposed to be busy each of us, the unique light that we're supposed to be our path and our goal. And then absorbing the kindnesses along the way, being present to them, making brochos with kavana, but enjoying enjoying the things that Hashem wants us to enjoy. Each thing in its place, each thing in its time. The way he was present to a good tennis game, the way he was present and enjoyed and was thankful. You know how many people are from where because of his tennis? You know how many people are from his rafts? How many families were saved by those rafts? He liked white water rafting. He had a lot of rain dangers, saying funny went all different wild places rafting. Yeah, he was busy learning Torah yom u'laila, teaching Torah for decades. And then the Hashem's world, to enjoy it in its time in its way, and to appreciate, to be thankful for the kindness of Hashem's world. The people around him didn't have a sense that they out there, they have the fun, they have It's not a truth. It's not the truth of the If Hashem designed the world like that, we'd have to piss. It's not a truth of the world. The beautiful world that Hashem made specifically for his letters. There's a line in the Mesillas Yesharim about the world. This line that his gashmius became ruchnius. The Mesillas Yesharim says that for the Adam ha'Shalem who remembers who he is, and he uses the world who misala olam misala imai. He has an elevation and the world gets elevated with him. The world itself becomes an elevated place. Okay, the world itself becomes special, becomes important. The person remembers their tafkid and uses the beautiful world around them in the right way. I'm so Hashem, you could become You watch people's lives and their journeys that my father was rough in the community in a shul of lions. In a place where people do have wonderful houses and people are living such such a beautiful life to be there shabbos. Be in the world to share with you. You know what? By second chances supporting column and the exact match of a person, the perfect match of a person whose attitude to the world wasn't bitter. It's a nice world that Hashem made with good purpose, with good usages. The shadow of the rub and the people is like only Hashem could have made such an exact shadow. Somebody who was so focused on what our path could be is keeping mind the goal, keeping mind don't lose sight what we're about, what we're here for, what we're doing. We have a life and lose that for a second and you didn't lose it for anything for from a minute. They don't lose that focus what we're about and then to enjoy and appreciate in its space, in its time Hashem's beautiful world. By Yarik is Hanicha. We have to live this way ourselves and then we can share this with our children. When I see a guy in Yeshiva, every once in a while you have a guy who's like deeply has a sense like there's the funnest, up there away from us. I always feel bad some has broken down. By Yarik, where's the By Yarik is Hanicha? One who grows up with a certain joy. Remasha already spoke about this. Remasha spoke when he felt that people said "Oy, it's very tiring again." It's difficult to be a Yid and people said that he said "People always say it's very tiring." And their kids struggled. It's the opposite of Avraham Avinu and By Yarik is Hanicha. His people who he was in charge felt so rich, felt so lucky, felt so actually with such a chaos, such a positivity. There was a chaos by Yarik. They walked around very, very wealthy. I want to I want to read the circle and just end with this. At the beginning of our year talking about Abraham has said so there's there's something that sticks out. Abraham sees the angels by the cross and he runs. Then the second go on. He he says by your mind Abraham he runs to the aisle Sarah. By your name Mary let's go. He's on fire. Now what's Abraham he runs to the bunker. Then by your mind let's say he rushes to do it. I counted five times rushing and one time shows I don't want to use the word aggression like chaos. You read the parsha of Abraham's kindness I'm very visual I'm a visual learner. When I picture Abraham he's on fire. We need people who are like moving slowly but they're struggling that's a normal thing. The picture of Abraham's is his mouth. He is moving he is running he's flowing chaos not your life. My father had a chaos that was other worldly other worldly to the end. His daily schedule was crazy. The last succas a year ago succas my father came to the show I told my wife I said the younger Caleb she's going to take over the show my father ran the show. >> [snorts] >> Let's have the younger he was younger the chaos the chaos was fire fire. Abraham carry now [clears throat] we were at a hustler and my friend Abraham said who's the youngest man in this room right now. He said Daniel who's the youngest man. He pointed to my father jumping around the wedding said he's the youngest man in the room. Chaos chaos. And what's the secret of Abraham's chaos. Abraham is flying he's running around. Now it's true there's a gift from Hashem. It's a gift from Hashem. It says about Sadiq in all the love of the safe. In old age, they're they're still fruitful. The shame and refreshing vigorous. Lahav kiyash it's it's a gift from Hashem. But I want to offer something that I think is a truth. The Torah wants us to know Avram said he was like a fire. And the Torah it's unusual very repetitive. He's running, he's coming he's on the man is just like I want to express something and this is practical for all of us. If somebody's a forced child is being kids come home from school. My daughter comes from school, she just like collapses. In school she's asked nobody means bad but she's asked to act to be a certain thing. It's very exhausting to act not to act. Teachers have burnouts a normal thing. My father taught for decades. He said at the end was his best year. He said his last year of teaching for 45 years it was his best year in clinical pulse. He said it was his most strong. He was on fire. If you try if you go in front of a kids, everybody good morning. You're done after a little bit. You act like that. Imagine a spouse to their husband to their wife. How are you when you try to be who you're not? You burn out. You can't last. Fade away. When you find the deepest spaces you have crazy energy. You're fire. I was born for this. I was born for this. Avram Avinu is the odds of chesed. He was born for kindness. I was meant for this. This is my life. My soul, every part of me was created for this. The picture Hashem wants in Avram's kindness is a man on fire. The man is old. The man is sick. He had a surgery. He's on fire. You know why? Cuz he was born for kindness. He's running. He's energized. It's the possuk says "Koy ve Hashem". Those that hope Hashem yachlifu koach get an exchange of power. Yelchu ve lo yiyefu. They go and they never tire. I want to say that Koy ve Hashem, what does it mean to hope Hashem? It means do what you were born to do. I think parents get superhuman power. But it You have to You have to like accept the role. I'm a father. I'm a mother. It's who I am. I think we should review in our lives things missions. We should say it. We should remember it. I'm a father. People Parenting is tiring. My son just became a father. He's describing Do you ever get to sleep? Do you ever sleep? [laughter] No. And the answer is accept it and be it. Be it. Be it. Accept that. You were born for this. You were born for this. Tap into something There are things we are and things we do. That's not me. I saw my father in learning. He had a very clear style. And he stuck with it. This He felt this was his share Hashem that this is what resonated by him. I think I can't I can't I I can't prove this. I think a big It's a gift from Hashem is energy and the koach was a kiddush Hashem a gift to a tzaddik the nice and valuable koach given koach. But I want to study something what I can learn. And I want to express when we're loyal to ourself and do the things I was born for this. This is me. In learning he was a king of that. When people learn in things that don't resonate force things you run out of strength. It's not me. It's not me. I can't. When we find the areas I was born for this. This is what This is my taqdir. It's like a line with the deepest place. I think that's a day of Hashem. That's a whole birth of Hashem. I accept and I am who Hashem designed me to be. I'm tapped into deep space in myself. I think we have crazy strength and we're like on fire. Now Avraham Avinu was the heart of chesed. Of course when he's doing chesed he's like flying around. He's like possessed. He watches. And he doesn't tire cuz that's me. I'm tapped into deep place. I'm being what I'm supposed to be. Doing what I decided to do. Doing what I my mission, my taqdir. I think all too often in many missions of our life we forget to decide. We forget to tap in what I'm born for. I was meant for this. The people that become I watch youngsters become dads and like they struggle. They're like a bocher with a child and a wife. You're a husband. You're a husband's a mission. You're a wife. You're [snorts] a mama. You're a grandma. It's a mission. It's a powerful mission. My father took this very seriously being a grandfather, being an uncle. Every niece, every nephew. Somebody I'm an uncle. I'm an uncle. I'm an aunt. I'm There's a mission. There's a There's a sense I was born. Hashem put this by me. I want to express what I saw in my father is that people came to him. He was mechabed people a lot. But what came to me took on. What came to me This is my mission then. It's interesting to me that the malachim came to Avraham Avinu's house. Now somebody could say well Avraham was sick. He went to the door. Why didn't he go look around in the shuls? Why didn't he go to the local marketplaces? You could say he was sick to you currently from everything's hashgacha. I want to suspect that Hashem sends us to our mission. He actually brings it to our door. I saw [snorts] my father what came to me took on. And it came from Yerushalayim, from here, from Did I came to me that's my mission and then he saw it through with a focus, with a concentration. When we perceive things, this is my mission and we do things within ourselves, within our capacity, within our style, what resonates, what makes sense. You get a superhuman power. It's your mission. You were born for this. When you're born for this, there's no burnout, there's no You have to be true to yourself in doing it. It's interesting in Canada. There are people who have a lot of tricks of chinuch. But as he spoke, somebody close, a talmid of my father. My father was no tricks of chinuch. Somebody spoke less like beautifully about my father, but they said what he was doing was He wasn't doing anything. There were no tricks. There were no tricks. He was himself in the classroom. Somebody asked me, "You're teaching Torah. How do you impart ahava and yirah to your family?" By the way you're teaching Torah, be loyal to yourself. Don't Don't teach with a He wasn't like trying to be gashmak, screaming for the He actually learned in ways that he enjoyed. He said over shmuessin that he liked. He did things in the classroom. He was loyal to self. He was true to himself. He said over Torah, when a person learns the Torah and gets over the Torah, they enjoy it. Two good things can happen. Literally after the event, somebody who's in chinuch comes back, "I teach Torah. What should I do?" I teach something you enjoy. Two good things can happen. Either because you enjoyed the Torah yaitzei min halev, yaitzei min halev, others will enjoy and at the very least, if others don't enjoy, it's a big kiddush Hashem in that they're watching somebody who enjoys Torah. One of the worst things is making Ishmael brothers. That's That's a bad joke. You will run out after a year or two. And the time will run out after about a minute or two. >> [laughter] >> Amazing child. Please please stop. Please stop. Please >> [laughter] >> Really a very tired You're not You're not doing this for a little stop. Stop. My father taught a tired He liked to I learned I'll never forget it there in my life. He went tired beautiful way with clarity with shalom that with dearness and because he was enjoying it went into many of us and to the ones it didn't come were in the presence of somebody who enjoyed it. Be true to yourself. Very true to self. Find what resonates, what works by us. Figure out our own life. We have unique We have missions that are kosher. We're in hands. That's a mission. [snorts] Take it seriously. I'm an ant. It gives strength. We do the things I was born for this. I was meant for this. I'm tasked by Hashem for this. And then do it with your strength with who you are. Stay true to yourself. There was a period where people were asking my father to say different style shiyur. It's a new There are people like this, like that. That wasn't He was true to himself from beginning to all his life taught the way the Torah that resonated by him. He didn't try to say the way others want him to say. It doesn't work like that. It doesn't work like that. Things don't work like that. I saw my parents during COVID My father died in the middle of a minute. It was very like My parents were not the furthest from They were people of shalom. My mother's a lady of shalom. The epitome of shalom. And that fact they held that a minyan is needed as much as we need stores, we need minyan. The crazy shalom. It was very hard for the family. Abba, please. He was not meaning it. There's a man who works out of my speeches till now, till today. It's my father made me young and I'm proud, I'm proud. My father made me young and he helped me young and I'm he held as much as we need stores believe me young and class. He kept more than people weren't going to, he kept distances everything. He made me young and I'm But I want to express that they were people [clears throat] they they weren't the winds of the times. This one's saying that again, people have shown you hugged every year, respected, given love, given me and then there's truth and staying within oneself, one's beliefs, one's understandings, of course understanding others, and connected others, but it's true to yourself, true to ourselves. I want to express that when we do places that are true to self, we have extra power, we have crazy power. The power of a mother gets a father. It's my mission, I was born for this. Right now, focus, figure out the things that are obvious. This is my mission. I picture a lot these days and this year my parents decided young I want to learn tired. Then I decided I want to be want to teach tired. And they decided this was their mission and they did not stop. This is my mission. This is what I'm for. True to themselves, decided on a mission, understanding a mission, figuring out we were asked for something. You have crazy coyote and you're true to self. The picture of Abraham was this idealist but specifically on fire. Why? He was born for this was Abraham's it was his mission. When you're when you you nail that you get the coyote you're like flowing, you're like flying, you're moving around. You get a tremendous tremendous gift. Those that help you out get an exchange of power. Have a clarity each of us has a beautiful light that all stages of our life. We have a light to give. We have a beautiful light that the world needs. It's necessary, important. Each of us should be so happy to find those areas that are on my mission. This is me. And do it in a way true to self. When we're forced trying to be somebody else, doing it in somebody else's way, we run out of a kind of finds their way. There's My son once asked me a little of a speech. I started singing with the choir. He said, "To my like, why did you do that?" I said, "Cuz I like singing." You have to do it the way that fits you. You have to. You have to. At the Levaya, I started a song. My son once put up with my shenanigans. >> [laughter] >> I was with my father. Be you. Be you. I told my son, "That's what resonates by me." When I was young, I wasn't so into music. Very into music. The same to do You have to be true to self. I was speaking to a brother who was who was describing his shul. He said, "I don't like the minyan." I said, "Make a minyan you like." Make a minyan you're into, you're comfortable with. Make a minyan be part of it. That's something that that If it doesn't work for you, you do You're not You're not connected to it. You're not connected to it. So, you'll run out of You'll run out of it. When we're true to self and do the the jobs and the tasks in the way we were constructed, we have to We get an exchange of power. We don't have to worry about it. We can go without unhindered. We get new wings. We can fly. We have abilities. We can We have discovered new abilities when it's true to self. It will should give us to give all of us tremendous tremendous to shine our lights. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you very much. Please join us in 2 weeks with Aliza Early.