Levi Goldstein: Meshulachim

And now, I finally run into the last layer of traffic the Meshulachim ohhhh boy the Schnorrers the people who collect money in Shul ok? Cuz I'm ready I've got my Tallis on, and I'm on autopilot Boom! They come in and I've always thought of Meshulachim as you think about a SWAT team they're sitting in the car on the way to a dangerous mission back to back and the driver is giving them a pep talk alright men many of you will be rejected will you take that? NO MESHULACH DRIVER! that's right but what will you do? HARASS! HARASS! HARASS! alright now get out there!!! they run out and they whip out the laminated green card and then, you know coins start spritzing out and there are a whole bunch of different Meshulachim out there and I would like to do a few there's the Meshulach that won;t take less than a certain amount you know this type? you give him less than a certain amount he yells at you he's like collecting for Yeshiva Torah Umesorah Yeshiva Tora Bora Sodom and Gomorrah what's that - no, I'm not taking that, you stupidhead then there's the Meshulach the hypnotizing, slow motion Meshulach would you like to give to Kollel Zekeeeeiiinim? Kollel Zekekekekekeeeeiiinim? I'm like, I don't know maybe I do want to give to Kollel Zekekekekeeeiiinim Kollel Zekeeeeiiinim then there's the Meshulach that tried to impress you with his Amen Yehei Shmei Rabbah or his Nakdishach Yehei Shmei Rabbah Mevurach you ever see an Amen Yehei Shmei Rabbah like that? now cough it over! then there's the Meshulach that is scaring you into giving him money you ever see this guy? he comes right by you Ameeeeiiiin