LTT Podcast EP #09 - Living & Loving Life Against All Odds

hi and welcome again to let's talk tahlas thank you so much for spending your time with us before I introduce and talk to you about the podcast we just concluded I want to really really thank you for the so many comments emails positive criticism and so much heart that we got back from so many of you for our previous podcast and for the one before it's really validating the reason why we are doing this podcast we want to be here for classical so many parents reached out to us so many fathers mothers so many kids boys and girls reached out for help for guidance and this is really filling up the the the void that we have in this world and we're trying to make it the world a better place and a happier place so really really thank you for your input and for being such loyal listeners and viewers uh we just as I told you we just concluded an amazing podcast with a unique human being you'll get in a Moishy mosque with very soon a person that went through in life so much Agony so much pain physical and mental but does not let life stopping for one minute the man is full of Life full of Fire full of positivity the happiest guy in town and it's so refreshing to connect with and be in touch with such a person who is taking life and grabbing it and making sure that every day and every minute of his life is positive and productive so thank you again for joining us and enjoy the podcast [Music] oh and welcome to let's talk talk list thank you so much for joining us today we have again a beautiful amazing guest and like I always tell you our guest you get to see by the end of the show during the show how why they're so beautiful and why they're so amazing but today the word amazing is really really part of the equation I have the honor and pleasure to interview my dear friend mushy Moskowitz how long was she hello how are you awesome great great having you in the studio thank you um you know why why I brought you in here all the way from Lakewood I have no idea I also don't have an idea let's try to make it let's try to make an idea over here let's do it together yes the same as seminar seven is a very happy jolly effective and active human being is such a active human being is because moishes first half of life was not that active not that smooth not that stable and even though he went through many difficulties which you'll hear about soon he's determined to be super duper happy is that right 100 good so let's let's cut straight to the Chase and we'll share with our audience who merchantments is so what's doing everything is great version so I gotta I gotta say that you're wrong actually my first half of my life has always been happy I've always been happy thank you for correcting me correct I always had a happier life an amazing life I grew up in an amazing family I had a fantastic family so first of all thank you so much for being on your show it's an honor and uh it's a beautiful wave you're bringing out people to your show it's a very nice to bring out the classroom of to bring out the better of people to show people what what they're all about then to show people how to make other people better yeah but why did I have the impression that the first step of your life was not so good something just flew by my mind that yeah the hard first day of your life we say hard but happy maybe to correct challengable okay I'll get straight to the point um okay so I did some research and Moshi was born to his happy and amazing parents correct with a small tiny Medical condition to begin with should I interrupt you again yes okay so let's start a little bit okay someone she was a happy camper he was born and he was in uh in 1988 this one's a beautiful family to his father and mother from I would say 1994 his father started getting cellulitises a lot of hardships a lot of he had to give up his job he had to give up a lot of a lot of finite the financials didn't go so well so from there he went through from there a lot of things went um like we would have called it sour downhill downhill in my house it didn't feel ever downhill um it was a very happy house my father unfortunately suffered a lot he really suffered but my father was always a happy person a real happy person well he went through surgery after surgery after surgery so from the feet it went up to a lot of places to his body once I was I went to my my I went to went through my myself [Music] my elementary years and um everything was nice and then you never felt it at home Dad what's it called unfortunately my father went to the hospital a lot so basically I would consider myself I'll make it more dramatic but unfortunately it's not dramatic I grew up in a way in the hospital because my father was at a lot in the hospital so it was very very very very um it was a dramatic experience I guess I will say that but it was a very happy an amazing family my mother never made it feel like um a house of um like my house was always uh the most warming house ever so if you ever ask anybody from one of my sports family water park meaning whoever knew our family the most open house the most warmest house ever my mother always cooked for people in the hospital almost cooked for everybody but my house was always replied when a moisture my house was there yeah that's why such products came out from this house my house was always upset I didn't moisture moving up the ladder like we say unfortunately um when I was 15 um basically um my mother started not feeling well and we didn't know exactly what's going on she was very very weak and whenever we started doing testing and stuff so she went to the doctor the doctor diagnosed her with lymphoma and the lymph nodes and um basically was pretty was pretty fast your father was still alive my father was still alive my father was unfortunately the sick one my mother was still up my mother was still alive also went to basically my mother was diagnosed sickness and he'd guess that she passed away so back to the discussion in the beginning that you wanted to say in the first part the more she was a kid and um with uh was born with something so I'll tell you the story I was um there is a thing it's called Blunt's disease which the disease is sometimes discovered when you're born you're born with it or if someone could be discovered but later on in certain ages so I was I mean it was discovered later on meaning um meaning um when when you um how old were you well age 12. so basically I couldn't have surgery from age 12 because from age 12 to 15. it's a growing spur what is this condition so sometimes what's it called it's a it's it's instead of the bones going upwards it goes sideways correct suppose it could be from obesity from this but me it was both so basically they take the bones they crack it in half make it grow again as I saw online now that what's it called it takes faster to recovery but by me what's it called um 20 years ago okay okay what's it called if you did both legs together it took four to six months to recovery a minute you didn't feel anything wrong with your feet you were I was always a wild kid I was always having a good time I was always big so your medical condition was not obvious to anyone it was obvious but my mother what she called in the way he said he's having a good time nothing is bothering him but as the time went on it got worse and worse and worse so back to the discussion my mother passed my mother's diagnosed um that means in five weeks she passed away so basically my mother my mother went with the other doctors my mother everything um she booked all the surgeries everything everything was beautiful nice and dandy and for one minute because everything was taken not everything was my mother was taken oh so you had to deal with a mother who passed away a father was very sick yeah so and your own little Petco it was way it was it's actually pretty you know pretty scary that I had to go through this it's um it goes that my mother actually as you can see what I told you before is that a week and now before she passed away I wasn't Yeshiva I didn't even know how sick she was she um for some reason she was very very weak she was in the hospital still she was in the hospital she actually called the Yeshiva phone and someone didn't work didn't you call yourself on you tell me yes people have taken a suitcase with her right it was a cell do herself and then but um as big as it they were as big as they pay for him I didn't have a filter so so basically uh so she gave me she called the the public phone wow she could remember the pebble public phones that was a grandmother fancy that's fancy the basically it's recorded she called actually the public phone and she she told me she wants to speak to me I was like what's going on so basically I took the next speaker I walked in and she said herself on the bus on the bed she tells me I said she said um she said Moshi um as you can see I'm not looking the best but you're my youngest and you're my charmer a 15 year old boy with a sick father has to process such a conversation knowing that he's gonna have to come up with his own with his own surgeries the back pocket was not easy you know hi let me stop for a minute please I'll interview I want to talk to you a minute about subscribing to this podcast subscribing is not a punishment it's a treat we're not going to go to the FBI we're not going to go to the IRS with it all we're doing by subscribing when you subscribe it takes one second to click about And subscribe you are making it easy for us to send you right away the podcast as soon as we publish it as soon as it's ready whether in YouTube or on other forms it takes a second and that's all it does and I'm really thinking how can we have so many tens of thousands of viewers with Hashem and we appreciate you all so much but you only have a thousand to 1100 subscribers so you need a treat huh I'm here to announce that whoever will subscribe as of now you know what we'll include the previous subscribers also we're gonna raffle um about two weeks three two three weeks after the the podcast we're gonna wrestle 100 Amazon gift cards for the subscribers so let's go and do it we want to be in touch with you how did you first recover basically from the server how was the share it was it was it um it's so funny after leaving my mother's bedside I met a few close ones whatever it's just everybody says don't make it so crazy she's not going nowhere she's okay she's just a she's just some pills or whatever I'm like yeah yeah I am ain't no whatever you know but whatever I saw the reality it's just ain't easy it was a lot to process was a snowstorm you know and the meaning he was like a snowstorm but um the storm and the snowstorm yeah but um it's not easy you know when even these days you know who was there to give you buy the Chevy right after the shiver your father my father was my father was a great father my father was always there for us for me I had my brothers were a very tight family they really are very tight family but all these organizations were not around Dynasty actually it's like it was no GoFundMe personal statuses her Lifeline was around yeah yeah they did have these therapists to talk to about to be honest what you call this I wasn't at the moment of focusing of the grief I wasn't focusing as much of the getting the help I'm more focusing of the shock because my mother was always dear when a coming gone with the Yeshiva coming home seeing my mother sitting they would stop already it's hard to process it was really hard to process I'm already having fresh food at the table being asking you how your day was and having open arm all the time that was hard to pass you know stopped that's why it's when I always hear these stories about mothers and any parent just passing away I currently doing just them it's not easy even though I had this blockage I do have this blockage that I can't show emotions about in a way you know it's when you lose parents you you do have a certain kind of blockage that it can't show that certain emotion anymore but when I do find a person to lose their parents I do take so I do have a lot of times I I take a kid or somebody in the side I do talk to that kid especially when you were you had your own medical to deal with yeah I had to focus on that I I couldn't focus too much on another I couldn't focus too much on if not focused on I couldn't plus I lost my grandmother six months beforehand which is her mother which is what she was also very dear to me yeah I lost very close I lost two very close people in my life that year unfortunately we have to continue because we want to hear the rest of the main story a lot of main stories yes um so moving forward I saw called I went to surgery you know it was in Mount Sinai thanks to the beauty toursky and wow division division [Music] um anymore that's correct thank you yes yep wow he helped us he helped my my everybody in my family wow they're always there for us wow special people so they guided you through into the surgery yeah especially he pushed actually the doctor to make both legs at the same time that surgery actually nobody wanted to do it that the actor he pushed that doctor to actually do even though we'll go on but but the surgery took 13 hours yeah so he actually made the doctor do it both surgeries at one time today in 13 hours you conquered the world yeah huh you do a lot of stuff yeah exactly wow but yeah he actually made a doctor take those take make both surgeries at one time can you quickly and show describe what the surgery does and what happens right after the surgery not actual physical you said should I do it right now on the table yes better your feet are good right uh people talk about that later okay um there's a lot of latest on our plate episode two so far it's very entertaining so sadly it's entertaining yeah but I know there's happy streets behind it of course so um I I read a little I read up a little bit so the surgery is quite a difficult surgery besides the amount of time and like you said the breaking the bones and the reasons to be honest I did not do too much research before I came because I did you did yeah you did yeah I agree I like to be I like to share with the audience things in an educated way good for you so my father did have a had a heart attack unfortunately but he had to have open heart surgery so in the hospital there's such a thing that there was um social workers right so um my father I guess mentioned to them that he has to have open heart surgery he didn't know where to put me so I guess I don't even know why Nicole says I don't even know exactly what happened I had one I had one brother that had just got married I had one brother that had young children it would take me in whatever father I guess got from them recommendation my recommendations and stuff that that there's places called the New York foundling Hospital which is a funding Hospital basically so my father signed me up to go there but he didn't park me in you can always take me out for back I mean long term wise Yeah so basically he parked me in was a Christian hospital so uh it was um so basically a book of King Yeshiva a book from Yeshiva knew whatever and lost his mind his father's gonna have to go through open heart surgery he's going to go to the Christian hospital for a few months more than a few months ended up being actually eight months um basically arriving there getting there a bunch of crosses all over him my father and I better not know I feel so bad I feel so bad but he had no choice but he didn't even see the building anything he even saw he started building but I don't think so you run over there getting in there the only two over there the only kids nobody even knew about Judaism to be honest there's actually there's actually one it's actually one plus one plus there was a great it's a great rehab they were doing a great rehab said there was an exercise it was great I was the therapists over there were great the taxes over they were great it was just you know um a lot of interesting things that a 15 year old dealership book are not supposed to say they're supposed to I would say that um for that 15 and that's supposed to be I guess learning you want to say um in a lot of ways went from uh whatever it went to whatever yeah were you able to keep a little league to be honest I I did do as much as I can about that in a way I was in the year from my my mother also so I actually had Adorama photo around the corner so I had a very very wonderful special lady I wouldn't give her a shout out because she's going to be very upset about it a good friend of my mother's actually she's actually she was part of the human resources over there she did the what's it called whatever hiring stuff like that hiring she did actually HR overseas she she was the translator you've translated for everybody over there meaning people that didn't speak English spoke on the phone whatever blah blah blah so she actually one one she tried kicking me some other Plus or some other people came to pick me up once once a day to dollars maybe once a day which I didn't want to go either so I tried going how are you how are you mobilizing also I had a special way to coming out of bed wow at a special excuse me bathroom to go but yeah it created a bathroom special for me and I I believe in this process there's a lot of weights on you on your yeah it's extern it's called external fixed ladies it's very popular everybody people should know people know about that so wow it's an amazing part that this woman some other people in Adorama helped you keep the youths out and the Kurdish process for your mother going even though you're in such a place I'm sure the difference between colonchitis big day in coming out was awesome it was a very nice relief um coming out of the rehab center what's it called all the following I really if I if I wasn't going it was not easy because I had no patience either way and it's also physically very hard yeah plus what's it called the situation my father was not getting better he had the open heart surgery in the middle of the open heart surgery he actually had a stroke so it was actually kind of a knock down for me also like getting down so knowing my father suffering in the hospital like that not knowing that he's going to survive or not they had to actually keep him sounds very graphical but view discretion is advised he had actually um keep them open for two weeks and giving Internal Medicine so they didn't even know what's going to be with him so me knowing what's going on with my father you're updated I guess I was updated of course it had to be open with me um because you know it's enough hiding you know a person I'm trying to fight for myself in the year for my mother normal father as I didn't even know what's going to be and just pushing me out to every day it's just a drop down in all kinds of ways it was just beyond like so much on my head and me fighting in therapy every day just getting better it's just it was it was mama I was like yeah can we say again I'm in this world huh can we say again in this world like we're gonna go to the end it's just yeah it's it's it's going back it's just really waking up every morning just feeling the heaviness like what's gonna be with tati I just lost mommy like where is tati I want to see him already like I want to see him okay where does he come to visit 100 it's just it's a very lost feeling that you can't turn to any of your parents it's so it's very lost it's like basically in the way you've lost both the appearance and today if somebody like this was how the should have happened to someone there would be organizations I did I did have highlight Point come bring me every day supper but to be honest I was so not in the mood of no no clowns no nothing I was actually not that kind of patient I was the kind of patient that people came to visit and made them feel like the patient wow actually they're very good at that I was very good at that I was not the person like making people feel like I'm down wow wow I mean even even with my father and everything I really did not show it I want to give a special shout out and thank you for one of the hosts of this podcast Brooklyn square is where all these beautiful let's talk tacos podcasts take place and I've been filmed and I feel that being in Brooklyn square is a treat for me and for all the tenants that are here because being in Brooklyn Square brings you into such a pleasant and happy and positive work environment you get to meet so many people all types all levels all professions and there's shoes in the building there's gyms in the building these restaurants in the building is such a vibrant happy positive place and when you spend your day between positive people around surrounded by positive walls then hopefully you produce positive podcasts as well so my big thank you to Brooklyn Square so what happened to myself with your father afterwards after this this sad period of being in between with stroke and heart connection and he survived wow and um what's it called that was in the rehab center for another good good four months after in things went on continue I kept on I went to work then after eight months we went back to the doctor checked through the check through the situation actually X-rays and everything so he came on saying my English name is Jacob so it's Jacob got some sad music like tell me what's going on like straight to the board it's like one foot came out okay but you're gonna have to go for like intense therapy no matter what it takes the other we have to redo the surgery I'm like no way I'm like say what no way it's like yes you have to redo the surgery I was like this is after 13 hours surgery he's like yeah maybe he should his glasses should be revoked he actually was an old actor so I'm just kidding I thought he lost his life he lost his glasses when he did it wow so basically what it was the process is after that is that after you come out of external fixed savings which is that's also a surgery about two other surgery but I'm not going to count that in my surgery yeah exactly so you have to go into body cast which goes from your ankle up to your waist six weeks not a picnic no I wish I was able to go to picnic but uh but after that you go back to to go back to the doctor and then he checks it out again and in two weeks ago it's one of the easy surgeries yeah yeah of course then after that you just then you take two weeks and I guess you go you go under the surgery again a funny joke backtrack because while I was in the bed in this cast I was actually very capable of rather than fly worship and he uh I went down the stairs was on the third floor I was pushing myself down from the waist down the stairs this week yeah that's the only way to push yourself down on a body cast so I came down and uh no I guess it has like a small argument with my one older brother than me and it's like and he uh got his back I'm gonna forget his package got stuck in the door I was like yes good for you a second later I walk out the door you know there's a small step like that I walk out the door like so if you have a champion brother and what do you get for it I walk out the door I tripped over the door I flipped with my with my cast I landed into the into the garden see the smoke over here oh my God I got like 17 stitches I ended up like that like this why is she embarrassing me hello it was funny actually I broke my hand over here and over here so I walked out a little bit with a cast from here and you're laughing yeah of course you have the episode of playing the episode of bubble and play if you ever saw the golden from Prague basically I looked like that that's actually yeah book that would have came like that anyway I had to go on the taxi in the backs I took off because I traveled around I took over I had to take a taxi I took the whole back seat that was the story so did you ever she ever said anybody okay it's the wrong time exactly story wow so moving forward did the surgery again external fixators and everything I think I don't remember where I went after that so I I don't want to say I think I went to and back to the rehab center whoever came to visit me was amazing people I had went to the same place no I packed I just I'm remembering he was saying about crazy people coming to physic but reup Center I had what's it called Mrs the the lady that came to take care of me yeah everyone I was about to say it but I'm not gonna say it see okay no so I'm saying what's it called I had my brother my brother also let me come to me to stay for Shabbos every week I had I had Mr Robert Landau from from Avenue L came to learn with me every single Thursday he tried his best to learn with me did I listen I had a cause my mind actually that actually tried also limiting a little bit I also had but they're called I had I had my actually one of my hands she didn't want me to wash my laundry um um in that place so she watched Memorial every single week water back and forth actually um it's a very fun you want to hear a funny story one of my friends actually he knew I liked his the way his mother doesn't sesame chicken they they count on my calories over there so he he he's my smuggled in his the Sesame chickens bring it in every week I had friends of Mines from from Williamsburg they walked up they worked for me I walked over every single Shabbos to visit me from Williamsburg through bridge I'm happy to hear some yeah place and I had this one special person which is um always until today's days which is actually my brother's Uncle which is his real Uncle his real Uncle which is not even my uncle he took me under his wings till today's Days and taste carried me like a father and Uncle even I wouldn't have been here right now without him so that's that's that's I have special people in my life I cannot wait can we have him for the next podcast yes he should exactly he actually walked me down so yeah wow yeah so this is how it was a bad this is not that was another this whole podcast is like well we need to have six podcasts yes it's the first time you're coming out and say like people know me as like fired up but this is the first time hearing the Mellow mushy but yeah I'm saying um wow so you felt he felt he had and then the thing was removed the full body surgery it was already the third the fourth whether the third four whatever you stop counting sir you start counting I think a total was 13 surgeries so let's go move on another video much about your father's material no that's gonna be in a second so I'm saying interesting story I went to one of the other surgeries happened I actually thought and finally I'm actually off I'm finally thought I'm finally done with going through surgeries I wasn't skippy for foreign on the way home to my brother I was walking with my kid because I was able to do wheat beer when I get ready my whole entire way that's a two-way period to be good on the way I was walking through a shortcut a middle here and you're like a boom I'm like what's happening there my whole entire foot cracked what was that one of my pins I hear cracked and I fell down I was like almost collapsed I couldn't pick myself back up by the middle I picked Myself by walking but I'm walking I write my brother I see my whole entire foot swollen boom so I call the doctor emergency after the other go back home Time Peter went into the place where did we go surgery again same thing happened tell me are you are you a troublemaker oh I saw that question coming up if I'm a troublemaker and which kind of I said that question is going to have to be put in can't sequence yes I think why are you attracting so much trouble I think you like it I love it God loves giving me trouble man could you handle it very well yeah yeah I think I think you should stop already right [Laughter] no almost this one this is also like this is this is beyond I finished surgery one young I finished surgery it is like two days before sickest I gotta have to come home my best friend my one of my very close friends stay with me till sick is still in sick is to to recover I was able to go home but I had to go to a taxi to come home in seconds after the surgery in seconds I came home second day circus it got swollen like crazy I had to go back do another surgery it's like went back and forth back and forth and that's how I went the same doctor did most of the surgery yes you know it was crazy infected wow I'll never forget this after all the surgeries we're not going to go through all the surgeries I think I spoke enough about seriously I after all surgeries um everybody all that until today is I don't think I admitted it on camera I made my close ones know about this everybody knows me as the biggest dancers but I started dancing and like doing let's see a little dance right that's sweet I can't so um everybody knows me as doing the moves on the floor which is I I love it I'm dancing is my thing all that because all the damage of the surgeries I couldn't move my ankle I couldn't move my ankle I went first everything was done and intense therapy everything said don't worry but it would move my ankle will be through a brace they come out with this brace they said I can make you any kind of color device through a Yankee brace I was a huge Yankee fan which I'm still on but I was through a Yankee brace or any kind of brace like it like you could do anything but you'll have to come back and just do whatever you feel because you just adjust it I'm like okay making me the first place walking out of there I said to myself I am not going to ever wear a brace because I need to wear my shoes this is me I cannot it's not me oh yeah they look good so I was like this is not me so I remember that this following morning I took up by myself I I I'm going to do the therapy of my own and all the techniques all everything my father when father had in the backyard had remember those middle steps in borrower Park the rusty Middlesex wasn't Rusty but it was middle steps I broke my bones every single morning it was probably for four to six months broke it broke it broke it feels finally got a little movement broken more broken more I went back to therapy went to the main therapist I was like how much movement do I have he says you have a little like how did he do this you have 11. I'm like can I get it more it's like if you didn't tell me you could push him more I'd push yourself even harder harder until today's days I only have 28 and 28 movement on my ankle okay it's like I'm just saying that's all I'm I'm just saying how when a person puts them right away it just puts in my life because there's nothing more I can do it's just that's how it was I said I'm not gonna wear a brace I'm not going to wear a brace wow and that's another crazy story that when I when I was no surgeries no surgery okay but I'm not gonna search on Google anymore so I'm saying when I the first time I was able to get the arcade to start walking with my ankle everything I I watch the quality I I went out of Yeshiva I went back to sleep a little bit I went to uh I decided to start walking from my first Challenge from Yeshiva 51st street so Seagate back and forth Non-Stop I guess YouTube was a few blocks away yeah 50 square streets until six adult CA back and forth I worked together no yeah it was a challenge that was the first challenge I ever did you're talking about 100 blocks I don't know how long it is but I did that maybe 15 practice took me about two and a half three hours don't challenge me to do it we walked out the steps before yeah we did it not happening yeah wow yeah it was crazy yeah your willpower is Beyond description [Music] sadly I want to go by Community father my father yes he's tired dear father and you told me he he survived he got better after the yeah my father was then we survived before through everything walked us through it was my father was just one of a kind my father what happened my father kept on suffering unfortunately father kept on going through a lot and a lot a lot my father went through surgery after surgery her mother passed away he went through a everything my father went through and the upper numbers of surgeries wow the upper teens it's like really because we we know what each surgery takes the pain the suffering the preparation the funniest part of the surgery got Hashem testing me again is like also stopping a minute the podcast to inform you again that we have a brand new website let's talk tackles.com the website is made for you to engage with the show you can write your comments you can suggest guests that you think will be great you can also come up with ideas you can tell us what you liked what you didn't like in our podcast I hope you like most of the things and you can always watch or share with your friends to watch it without YouTube or an audio version only so go to let's talk tackles.com and enjoy I remember I wanted I wanted to celebrate also with my surgery I want to go ice skating my brother my brother's brother-in-law wanted to know I'm sorry yeah my brother-in-law my brother's brother-in-law which is a very closer friend of mine wanted to go ice skating one was the Shabbos we decided to go ice skating arrived over there with Floyd Benefield you know right yeah by the memory Park Bridge [Music] yeah correct so we decided we need to go we arrived there was no there's no skates so you know let's go you know everybody likes to have a little fun so where's the car there's a Runway over there right so we stay he started going a little fast so basically he went a little fast there's a turning this is one turning thingy over there so I started screaming his name and while streaming his name I we started going a little upwards we flipped over seven times we ended up we ended up somewhere in the bushes and uh I know one thing I ended up I I woke up to that song from who is exactly that's something like yeah your world peace and nice right so please came down I remember him calling his father his father was a solo member my brother's actually in Las Vegas that he did actually jewelry then he arrived back to town when I totally lost her so I'm saying he called his father and his father heck because I was a Suleman with my brother member he's like where are you I was like we're here waiting for you by the by the curb like where's the car there there so please the police came out saying that that we flew 28 feet in the air we flipped over seven times we ended up we ended up sobbing like half a mile off the road so yeah the car was total of course so back to my father I'm glad you were not totaled yeah almost huh oh it sounds like the situation was not much yeah high risk let's call it with my for my mother I guess I take the closest Arkham and everything else my father I take this smile equals plus plus plus plus plus it's just um it's amazing wow he just keep on doing it I know that he's not alive anymore how much after the situation approximately did he my father passed away 10 years after my mother so yeah the Father for I have a father for quite a while I was 26. my father was also very interesting the way he passed away my father passed away I was here if I was there the final I was here by the final final moments of their Shabbos was actually very my father knew a whole entire service that he's going to die Master Chavez he kept on saying what's the Shabbos I'm going to die we kept on zombies I'm talking about you talking about he hasn't eaten he he it's funny he went into cardiac arrest and he came back from Cardiac Arrest he was recovering for cardiac arrest he was doing so well he was in Mount Sinai and so basically back to Shoppers he kept on saying what's the Shabbos I'm going what's the showers I'm going now moving forward we just didn't see it happening but um Shabbos by night he was eating everything the whole entire Friday night you know he kept deleting so beautifully um so he kept him by the soup he kept him he called me over mushy come here and get this on the bottom so he kept on saying he's totally mushy Kim ahead remember he says I was like um how do you say soup I'm like listen he's like window I'm like okay Daddy I don't think it's happening but so the that's that's the way he told me then try and I had to go down for x-rays and he basically by boys basically he stopped over there he said to buy his meter to say because he thinks we just saw the moment happening in the mountain showers that took such a stress restaurant I was like okay I went back to the apartment I went to grab a cigarette so stressful if I did like was such a I came back upstairs and I was like I'm gonna ask the nurse like where's my father went downstairs like it's only but I came downstairs my brother's downstairs like be busy what do you mean it's like they kept on pumping and pumping so basically watching him die to me was like yeah seeing your father die in front of your eyes is anything and that's something yeah big list yeah wow how did you I'm sure it affected you it maybe brought up a lot of of the past pain that is some losing my father bought up the lost my mother and father together because I didn't I just didn't um I just couldn't um I couldn't handle it in a way wow because my mother I couldn't recover 100 and I had my father also almost dead so I couldn't handle it over the hundred percent wow my father I lost my father and mother again so I had like a double a double fight wow so I didn't know I I had and my father I handled it whatever can I ask how did it affect you did it have a sure didn't have a happy effect on you a positive effect not at all no knowing you maybe started dancing there no no I didn't I mean it is there was some joking moments but for me to say how did you how did you handle it I didn't handle it you're here no I didn't I didn't have a look healthy way I didn't we'll help you get out emotionally of these what happened afterwards who helped you get out of it how did you continue life that's crazy the list is only growing so far well help me get out of the situation my father is saying you have to have to get in such a hit still waking up your mother's memories and her death it's just um I I came into where I as I don't know you didn't lose me as I weren't working so you working yeah for the audience well she's a very famous beloved um employee employee super plus in the famous Gourmet glad chain and I remember I still remember being Borough Park today today is in Toms River Lakewood but I remember you thought when did you about that time did you joined go make a lot like you were able to take a job for almost 12 years so when did you start working Omega like at that time approximately no before or before I didn't know that do you know the timing I didn't know you working there I don't know the timing exactly so so how does those gonna make a lot add to this story because I I know that answer the story you're going to ask every story their most amazing company to work for oh God the support is the support that's given um I'm not trying to get nothing out of them um to support the support I've given to me and my family all these years is just way to the sky oh everybody should line up and trying to get a job over there okay no seriously the it's just amazing company and you needed all the support all my emotions they are it's just truthful and amazing company wow so happy for you that the Sam gave you this this yeah you can say that again wow big big gifts it gave me a huge gift and um so I guess the people over there started to start to help you get encouraged no so what happened was I kept on them coming into work and um my first thing is I'm starting to say it's that's the I'll continue that in a few minutes but I'll start like this when my father passed away I never really enjoyed alcohol but I never drink alcohol my friends drink alcohol but I get ice cream and everything I was actually natural happy in a way but when my father passed away I just need something to block my pain I just really needed something about my pain I thought but alcohol is going to make me more and happy like I'm on a Mellow Mood but so basically as I could go back to pictures when I said chip it is a bottle of Glam livid or vodka next to me sitting over here and I just sitting over there and just trying to block myself magically magically just remove my pain but um of course I didn't but I continued in drinking because it really numbed me it really didn't numb me so basically that was my tool and um but it really did not do anything it was crazy for me I just don't want to forget coming home from work every single day my wife was sleeping my kids were sleeping I will just go and just just take a seven ounce cup of vodka or even two or just drink myself to sleep or not even sleep but just go and drink and just take a walk around the block I feel like your biggest junkie from Ocean Parkway walking around and just feel like numb and just don't know what to do with myself and I was much lost and just really um was Mama's um I did not well I just did not know what to do you helped you kept your job while you were kept my job but it did so back to this down moment the only person that I shared my moments with was um I think was my workmate which is um his name is so yeah I shaved my damn almost a lot with him the famous video producer he what's it called she said which is my manager then he's the one that really saw it in me he's the one that really sorted me and he's the one that pushed me to go to therapy and me I said what's it called me going to therapy I'm like Ugh what I don't need it blah blah blah I was like what's about the funding and stuff like right now it's not the time I don't think I'm going to be doing this it's like don't worry I'll get you an appointment stop stop yes so basically he got me an appointment with Hawaiian burger but it's funny I never ever mentioned tomorrow about my addiction to alcohol I spoke to me before I got into the show oh wow yeah I even got I spoke to him um yeah I spoke to him a long time it's basically so so he helped me so they hooked you up and basically I I was a quality uh I gave him I gave um I went to therapy there was a few therapies that I had to do my options session and was there a year about me I was there for your therapy what to be honest I did not know how much I had in me and how much pain of course to myself throughout the years for my surgeries it didn't cause it I mean it was how much how much how much bottle how much I've bottled up in me and how much I'm not speaking to anybody about it and how much I had to speak to somebody about it and how therapy is important to me in how they're important to anybody when I have to promote make anybody say this guy you have to go with Abrahams are saying anybody with such a problem anybody that's going through a hospital stay a dramatic mother-in-laws or people that are blocking their pains or emotions like people think they're better than anything it's not easy while you're going through but who am I to tell you that you need therapy like it's not easy for me to tell you that but I personally I did not know how much I have bottled up in size even though I'm an open book I'm a very open book I'm a real open book I say the way it is I but me personally when I had battled up inside I never knew I have so much did with me is just amazing wow obviously it was amazing we see the results right now yeah and I still have therapists I go to I still work on myself really I don't want to somebody I have a therapy you know they say the proof they say the proof is in the pudding yeah correct good proof yeah I'm not perfect at all right it's a daily struggle like I'm not perfect at all I stay I don't stop working and well it's it's really so let's say some I always say that let's talk less family is not here to hear sad things we're here to learn to grow no we gotta finish it exactly so first which story do you want to finish I gotta finish off with the other story it says which people should learn about means PTSD which I'm she yeah going back yes basically I was on the way home from a kitten Shabbos 42nd and 13. how are you I live for like about four minutes three minutes have a conversation I gave him a hug I tell them to see you tonight because the store was open right see you tonight I can give him a hug a whole building went up my Flames an explosions goes flying with his son I get hit with a I get hit with a stone and I don't see shamshi I start screaming shamshi I can't see nothing in the middle I see shamshi coming out of the rubble him hopping out I don't know what's going on I'm frozen I think she's hopping hopping hopping I don't see what's going on she's laying down on the ground I started screaming Godzilla in the meantime I see shamshi on the floor one person is running out one person is running to grab I got a bowl because he's got to do a tourniquet I turn around I see viewers questions are advised I see her ankle I don't know if anybody saw pictures ever of the Boston bombing people running around with our Limbs and stuff if I see shamshi's foot hanging uh it's just was a scene that I've never thought I'm ever going to seen I don't think anybody should ever see this in his life and it happened without friends my closest like happened to the closest person to help me so much through help me help me through my father's might go through my father's therapy any seeing him on the floor and him almost hit him out of breath saying Moishy on the floor what I hear I what I hear is my brother actually told me a few weeks ago in the restaurant and says that the member of the scene saw me over there he saw me I was Mama's paws like a freeze when he arrived didn't even know that I was part of the whole scene I had a swollen ankle and everything else wow two people dying in that explosion yeah I was gonna say to the audience that this was one of the very famous explosions and some people even died in this and then I had to go back to Monty Juan because for a special therapy it's called EMDR therapy it's emotion therapy people use it with mental health people use it for people for the Army uses when they come back from the army they use it for drama emotion trauma but my wife unfortunately like when I say but she went through with this I woke up with nightmares you have no idea what this knows it it's called survivor's guilt I kept on telling mati why wasn't I on the floor why wasn't I the one on the floor losing the ankle why was it chunky should have never been the one on the floor the crying they went on in that office I was like no shamshi should not be in the hospital right now I should be the one in the hospital this is not fair this is not fair and I went on for months waking up from Nightmare sleeping only maybe one hour a night half hour then I had to go to work this was just way and Beyond but Hashem we're here right now and shamshi is walking on two feet and we're here I would call you an archeology you know the more you dig the more you find the more you learn the more you discover how how was your a minute through all these very difficult times like I said in the in in this you would divide it in three big periods in your life foreign in the suffering yes and then you had your father's time and then you had started to finally go to therapy and become get better yeah this third trauma I mean this I'll tell you the truth it's a very interesting very deep question it's not a deep questions asking a person that really um hope you're not upset I'm asking no I'm Alex I want to but I mean um I have a few different ways of of Mena amen whoa okay which part you want to know first oh I we know we all believe that diversity Hashem is running the world and whatever happens to us happens by him totally and we also believe that whatever happens to us is to the good how does a human being suffering so much say to himself whatever happens and happen to me listen announce everything meeting the surgery that went through is saying that's some that's something that took a long time to take in and realized that Hashem was actually the one that is actually the beginning because I was actually having a karate match with him I'm being honest yes it was actually I was actually not surprised it was actually not easy to accept that part I had to go through a lot of tough punches around to say okay I love you okay stop the enough is enough but I still didn't learn my lesson to be honest but I think my smile pushed it through and I think after all it came through in a big way listen there's no there's no one there's no better proof in the world than what you the way you are now the way you are today for me telling you about men it's gonna be I can't I I think me waking up every morning starting my morning I find different kind of ways to find Hashem I really do I I find different kind of ways to say good morning I dubbing every day I after darling I I search different kind of things to find this and you're finding him because I may sound heavy-gitty but no because I went through so much I learned to connect them a different kind of way I I can't say to the audience because it's too much for them to handle no no that's not the same goal but for me personally gold is here this summary message people are listening and they um are you described once what's it called I I learned a lesson after my father passed away I did I do I did work in my Village guide in a big big way as my father passed away and that that build my Amina a lot I got connected to one of you people um okay yeah so I did personally yeah yeah and maybe that ended a little kind of way in a different kind of way but he helped me work on my men in a lot of ways wow yes without a minute we can survive 100 and I really I didn't expect such a loaded conversation because I see you every once in a while in this smile and the beaming happiness coming out of you does not match the story you just said and I'm really here to to salute I'll do an actual salute to you for being so strong and so open about what happened to you and about your feelings about you some of your downfalls and I think you are a major amazing example for people to learn from you how to fight and not let life bring you down and this is the biggest message I think that this podcast can bring to the viewers 100 so what do you want to say to conclude emotion conclude it I'll say one thing before I concluded but I'll be asking about a minute I think the biggest part of a minute and the biggest part of the military is the same clients at all is that you say every single that's what I that's what I thought and first of all I've learned it with my her Lisa and I've learned that um by what's it called that we say it every single day what's it called right okay um when they walked out on the throne right they own they all have the option what's it called I think Hashem is like like who in the way who is he right who like they go oh look they were all able to look back on all the blood that Hashem shattered through all the kids all the blood was going on over there in the slime but they're all they all went on a time they all got to be answered and they said you are ashamed you are the sensible Chef you are a god no matter what we're not going back you're we are we are we are yours you are mine yes yes right yeah you take it you're taking along these words we're taking all of these words and they guide you and Lead You wow that's the that's the that's the way we can that's the way we advise more than a minute is meaning a beautifying not only I believe in Hashem I also consider him a a beautiful and a nice mashpia and manager on me it's correct wow to bring it above regularly we need to do the same praise to Hashem even though we go through challenges not everyone can but you have the questions I want to really thank you for coming and I know it was these I assume it wasn't easy some of the questions and the answers we we flushed over here but uh I see a big smile on your face so it makes me a little bit relieved from the guilt I have of interviewing you and bringing everything up and I really want to thank you and I want to beg you to continue exactly what you're doing and please stay out of trouble no thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to being here with you and I hope people will take something good out of this not a whole people definitely take it out of this and um give me give me a 30 second message from the audience guys if you be you I'll be me keep on smiling and um I hope you guys appreciate this interview and I think Mr Bloomer fell for this interview and um there's always a life there in the tunnel even though it doesn't look so bright right now just put on a lighter and let it shine [Music] foreign