Let's Laugh About it Now | Rabbi Yisroel Besser

One of the most impactful figures in recent frum life was Rabbi Avraham Yehoshua Heshel Twerski, Doctor Abraham J. Twerski. He wrote so many books, so prolific and his speeches. One of the most important speeches he ever made wasn't in a large gathering, it wasn't at any convention, it wasn't for mental health professionals. It was at a family Simcha, at the Bar Mitzvah of one of his sons. I heard this from one of his close relatives, how... He lived in Pittsburgh for many years, where he was director of a rehabilitation clinic. And to make a Shabbos Bar Mitzvah in Pittsburgh is a challenge, especially for Chasidishe Yidden, who are very careful with what they eat and Hechsherim, and the traditional foods of Shabbos. They had a big crowd for Shabbos and his wife worked for months. She did all the catering herself. Of course, things had to be cooked a certain way, prepared a certain way, and they were ready. The groise Shabbos, the Bar Mitzvah, and all the guests came for Shabbos and arranging accommodations for everybody. And then the davening, and then they sat down to the Seudah Friday night, Kiddush, Hamotzi, and spirits are very high. Family is together, spread out all across the country, and they finally came together. Right before it's time to serve the fish, his Rebbetzin calls him outside. She had prepared fish for Shabbos herself, and she had left it on the table in the house and asked him to bring it to the Shul where they were eating. And he forgot to do it. He didn't do it. The fish was still at home and there was no Eiruv in Pittsburgh, so there's really no solution. We have no fish. What are we going to do? So if you're hearing this, your mind starts racing, It's your fault. -You should've told me. I did tell you. -You should have reminded me. Just the stuff that regular... Here's what Rabbi Twerski did. He gets up to speak, looks at the Bar Mitzvah boy, and he says: Let's say, in 20-25 years, אם ירצה השם, we'll be sitting at another Bar Mitzvah of this yingele, this Bar Mitzvah boy, his son, אם ירצה השם, another generation. He says: Then, invariably, somebody is going to say, I remember the father's Bar Mitzvah. Do you remember how they forgot the fish? And everyone's going to laugh and they'll say: Oh, that was so funny. They didn't have the fish. That's so your type. Who forgets fish at a Bar Mitzvah? And they'll be teasing and there'll be some nostalgic, good-natured laughter. And everyone is just going to remember it fondly. So Rabbi Twerski stops and says, If we're going to laugh then, let's just laugh about it now. And they moved on with the Seudah, and that's how he acknowledged his mistake, and everybody, in good spirits, continued the Seudah. Think about this story. The pasuk says in Tehillim, kapitl 37, Soon there'll be no more רשע and... you will contemplate his place, he's not there. So the heiliger Ruzhiner teiches like this, he says: When a person is inflamed by תאוה, by desire, to do something that they shouldn't do, it feels like it's going to overpower a person. The burning, the passion is very high. After they do the Aveira, and anybody who's ever done an Aveira in their life, myself included, knows that it’s not very fulfilling. It doesn't really bring a lot of joy. It looked a lot better than it was. You expected it to be a lot better than it turned out being. So he says: If a person, right before they do the Aveira, could just train themselves to think and say: Stop. In three minutes, am I still going to be so happy that I did this? I'm throwing away a lot. I'm giving up a lot. Am I going to be gratified with that decision I made or not? Zogt the Ruzhiner, in a little bit, this part of you, the wickedness that's motivating you now, it’s not going to be here, anymore. You’re going to look back at the place, at the תאוה that you feel now, it's not going to be there. You’ll say: How did I ever end up here? What drove me to do that? What seemed so enticing that I was ready to do that for this? I don't feel good. So think about that now. It's the Chiddush of the Ruzhiner, but it's what Rabbi Twerski said, One day, we're going to laugh about it. So laugh about it now.