Learning How to Argue | Heichaltzu - The Secret of Love #4

the yeshiva.net [Music] so we're beginning our fourth year in this mimer of ejaltso that we began last week we're holding chapter six it's page reshuff tess right reshaft the main point we learned in last year was there's two types of escalcus this chalkus means dividing one is a skalkas when you dissect when you granularly divide it creates period separation and there's another type of hiscalcus granular division that creates actually much more unity when you break something apart when you dissect it when you identify the different parts does it create separation it doesn't create unity you would think of course it creates separation before that everything was a mishmash a challenge it was a good one and now suddenly you broke it you broke it into parts that's what his calculus means he says the truth is it's the other way around if he essentially talked about two separate things so it's tucker two separate things so when you identify the parts you're going to identify that it's two separate things maybe even opposite but if it's really one so then identifying the parts only allows each part to be able to function in a much more authentic way and to understand its its part and its space so it creates much more unity less confusion more unity more cohesiveness less competition it's true in learning as i spoke last time and it's good he's going to say it soon and it's also true in all aspects in all relationships and all connections that was the main point so now explains it a little more but why why is it that way yes everything is filled with paradoxes there's nothing in the world that's not filled with paradoxes everything has in one form or another something of its opposite as well that's what it is in the faculties of the soul also it's all interconnected so in each of the kaisers you have integrated also the opposite faculties because essentially there's something called the atmos the core of the soul it's even deeper than the kaisers you have the faculties of the soul the way they're manifested in the body you have what's called kaichis atsume those are the innate faculties the way the neshama has them in its own purity and then you have the core which is even beyond faculties which is even beyond its innate faculties includes all of the carcass all of the dimensions all of the aspects of the soul and over there they're all his scholars they're all integrated there's no individual there's no individual compartmentalization is in its core where it's not yet identified but it still can be defined as a kayak and then you have the atmos itself the core itself which is even beyond it but it contains everything because everything comes from it in the core in the atom of the nephesh you have all of the kaijus which potentially all come from there but over there they're completely one just like in the source of everything we live in a world of diversity but if you trace back the diversity it all comes from one core from one atomos from one one essence is and therefore there's ultimately actos in the world even the way the kaith has come out individually each kayak each faculty has also the opposite one because ultimately they all come from one core and over there it's all one cloud it's all integrated just like you have in a family when you look at children they grow up it's brothers sisters they can be in different worlds geographically spiritually conceptually you know you look at your brother your sister sometimes even in not such a smack away if you go back to the source right when they were all babies they were all running around the same kitchen so over there you see more you trace it back the actors on a deeper level comes from the same mother the same father you know sometimes when the mother looks at them all she sees is she sees one unit and the more it goes away from the source the more diversified it becomes it says in madison fashion when yaakov went out to east when he ran away to asaf so he had the famous dream so it says he went to sleep he took the stones and later it says when he woke up he took the stone so i'll say famously rashi says that the stones got into a fight who should get the head and fire finally hashem turned it into one stone so the message says a very interesting thing that it was twelve stones and it was connected to swat and they all got into a fight who's gonna get the head it wasn't stop rocks fighting it says there was 12 stones and yaakov was going to have 12 sons all the way to binyamin the question is who's going to get the head so hashem said it's not going to work this way you're going to have to learn to become one right over a beautiful stickle on this before yaakov goes out to go build a family you're gonna have to go out with a certain conception so so so which word but it's 12. so there's different ways you could look at the reality if you go back all the way to the atmos to the core to the source everything is there but it's not there in a compartmentalized way it's there completely as one everything comes from ah and then through the evolution of reality from the spiritual to the physical as we spoke many times it's called the spousal you ultimately have the unique chemistry of everything so there's different layers in which you can view reality but he says because ultimately when you come to the source everything is there so even the way everything comes out individually the way it's individuated it has everything else inside the question is if it's beginner or bahalip there's nothing that doesn't have also from the opposite from the opposite dimension because ultimately it all comes back to one so that means even when we're individuated everything still has also from the kayak if it's called from the opposite and that's why paradox is essential to reality it's not uh it's not a mistake every in every inakuda there's different dimensions different characters and sometimes paradoxes that's what he says this is true in the faculties of the soul so you could look at it as very conflicting it's very conflicting like you just want to be monolithic you just want to be one-dimensional but one-dimensional doesn't capture reality because ultimately the opposite of those are part of reality so it's part of your reality too we're not one-dimensional there's this aspect and within it it could be an opposite aspect the question is what's more revealed what's more accentuated what's more concealed but in every indian he says it's true in the faculties of the soul meaning in a human being's personality one kayak has within it also the opposite one personality trait also has within the opposite way and it's also going to come out once in a while and it doesn't mean you're crazy it doesn't mean sugar it doesn't mean you're completely dichotomized it means you're rooted in a source that has everything so therefore there's no such thing i'm only this and only that everyone is a mashpee and everyone is a macabre all the kaisers exist in every nekode the question is obviously what's revealed and what's concealed because we know we live in a world of atmos of undifferentiation we live in a world of differentiation we need both yeah beautiful yeah you can only put on filling on your left hand you can't say i don't need a left hand yatke it's weak it's nothing it's worthless it's a tragedy if somebody's missing right the person needs both hands that's from the carol jung yeah so okay you're a righty i'm a lefty okay spiritually also you have this balcha so you're not gonna say we're gonna amputate this side the question is what's more accentuated right like our right hand or left hand but but but the nakuda is there of everything and he says interesting it's not just in the nephesh you say in the soul it's in everything in the world in water which water and fire are considered the two opposites you know water and fire can't coexist but the ms is behellum concealed in the water you also have from the element of fire and in fire there's also from the element of water because we're living in a world of differentiation the maya mendes are articulate we're not talking about the way it is in the before it comes out so therefore it's concealed in a manifested way the water says sorry don't bring in fire here i can't connect it if you want me to be the fire is going to evaporate the water or the water is going to extinguish the fire of genesis the water can't connect the fire and the fire can't connect to the water vahinum because the way it comes out in existence in physical chemistry the element of fire and water is very concealed even for itself it's not recognizable because the way it comes out it's mayhem it's water it's not fire even though we're saying that water has within it the compo the component of fire come i can even say the age just like it's true the mayan has age the same is true what he's saying is when one recognizes this that within me there's also a paradoxical component so there can always be actus why for cat when you break it apart and you reveal the paradoxical element inside of you so then that element doesn't contradict you ultimately you realize it's also part of you and therefore by breaking it apart and identifying it you can unify all of the various parts inside of you because you realize it's all inside so it's daftka when it's concealed it remains concealed you don't even identify it when you identify it and you understand that everything also has a kayak in it so then on the contrary that's what it says in sephi that hashem took fire out of water and water out of fire because they really connected so then they they could they can actually they can actually connect and you realize that you're not as paradoxical as you thought you were the water gets a little uh weaker the fire gets a little weak i mean you create space for the other one as well so by division by compartmentalization by by by breaking it apart by identifying the parts so what happens is they can actually connect in a much more in a much more uh meaningful way so this type of ascalcos is a reason it it causes more scalars causes more integration it causes more unity for example stars and planets all the stars and all the planets prove that there's a circular relationship between fire and water you can't have one without the other all the stars and the planets show it thinking you came in the right time i think in physics it's called because space is it's called pie hydrogen when it's burnt produces water ms our physicist came in the right time so you'll explain it scientifically but hydrogen when it's burned produces water i'm just applying uh some english words to it i don't know if ah yeah you could see it i mean with the right tools with the right instruments the point is it's not just not just abstract things there's a deep connection between them even though at the surface level it's all your fire or your water the same is true emotionally the same is true the same is true in the nephesh it's true psychologically as well so if one thing would really be detached from everything else so you would say hiskalkos just create separation but because you're filled with internal dimensions of paradoxes so when you identify each part on the contrary they can learn to live together because i need to create space for you because part of me is you and part of you is me so cutting it off is not making more peace it's making less peace because you are full of paradoxes identifying the parts allows you actually to get along with yourself you know when you think you have only one part it's it's it's it's it's it's very fundamental in understanding of aveda when you think it's called the monobrain idea when you think you have one brain one part right so you constantly get frustrated with yourself because if this is who i am why am i something else why eight in the morning with my brain here at nine in the morning there why this why that why that you get very frustrated with yourself when you realize sorry to break the news you're not made of one part even one part is not made of one part there's a lot a lot of different parts to the brain and we operate in different places on different levels ultimately it's all one ultimate but the oneness is not based on it looks one way it doesn't look one way this ancient is mayim it's also one the way it comes out it assumes different dimensions different identities so then on the contrary breaking it down and identifying those different parts creates much more appreciation it creates much more tolerance creates more for you you don't have to amputate and get angry and frustrated and cut off any any of your parts but if i'm supposed to be one so then i'm full of paradoxes and it can drive you crazy and then you're very you have to say you're a loser you're immoral you're a horrible person what's wrong with you you're sick or you're promiscuous or you're evil right but if you can understand that it's not that's not that's a very superficial way of looking at it so the hyskalkus creates much more actors in a person you understand what i'm saying you identify fakert yes this part is playing a different role it's playing a different role it's like in a family right each child brings out the parents in a different way right don't get upset that they're telling you who you are khani does it her way allah does it in an original way and martial he's the real original but they're just telling you what's going on they're not uh they're not being they're not changing myself they're just each child brings out a different part of the parents but by you it was subconscious you never dealt with it and now your children are picking up a mirror and saying hey tati let me show you who you are let me show you each one brings out another nakuda of course in the positive they bring out how beautiful the parents are at least for many of us so you're going to say let's just all be one let everybody in the family be one it's a fake actors let everything look the same it's not real the skalkas brings out the truth there's different parts and the parts are connected you understand the age is real only one understands that it is mayam inside and the mayhem is real only one understands this asian side because ultimately everything comes from one space by remembering all the parts you could find a much deeper level of unity it's it's it's it's not skin deep it's not superficial you know you glaze over the differences think in a relationship and a marriage is always a very good example right then it's if says the native naftali is a perish called hamakdavr and so on the passage of it's not good for adam to be alone i'm going to create a help against them so ghazal struggle if she's a help she's not against you if she's against you she's not a help right asic can i actually ask the question so he says he says it's kip shuter it's actually says but then he says s sometimes the greatest help you get from somebody is connected when they disagree with you this is that's why it's a mitzvah's assembling when i say this to the women i say it doesn't mean it's a midfielder that you have to disagree with your husband but it means that it's a fact of life in other words when someone disagrees somebody is connected does it get me meshuggah does it get me angry or does it help me depends how you look at it right now again i know that sometimes when when the couples are just always disagreeing then it's something else then there's a lack of trust or whatever you say i have to say so we have to work on it but the point is that in life the greatest help you don't get from from what they call yes sayers right if you're in a company with people and you want to really grow if everyone just says yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they want they want to flatter you maybe they want to make you feel good but growth comes from the connector there's a beautiful uh the ice of shawn matanzan was the love of levu of lemberg it was from the daily uh hapoiskim in his generation 19th century see there's a famous savage house of troops called shoila meshev but he also has a less famous commentary on gemma it's called divided show his name the gemara says that that a very famous that really bashamay was sharper than basil so why is that like basil should be like was sharper were much more relaxed and much more delicate and more sensitive and merchamedica more aloofn they were more sensitive whenever they quoted the opinions they always quoted their opponents before their own opinion they always first said what bei-shama said and they said we disagree and people don't realize that the mishnayis was edited by the nazi who was a grandson a great great grandson of hillary see actually he followed the school of hillah so when he edits the mishna when there's a machis who should he quote first you should always say divre be silo but you'll never see i don't think there's one missionary would be syllables before being shaman always first but why which shaman i always come first it's interesting this was their say there so the abilities of shaolin says i don't understand it's all nice so you could say if you want to make a go to bishop if you want to do business if you want to sit with with with nice people go to bisilla when it comes to it's about sharpness i don't understand it come on is saying this hillary was nice they were humble they used to they they used to let besama speak first beautiful why is that like them so the sherlock mashem says no no this is about intellectual intellectual clarity he says whenever you have an opinion if you first did not consider all the opinions that oppose your opinion then your opinion by definition is superficial it's like i have an opinion because this is how i grew up so i was indoctrinated this way only when you can give preference and first listen to every everyone and everybody who disagrees with me now now i'm challenged to crystallize my opinion so why do i disagree so this challenges you to go much deeper and you always have to ask yourself is my opinion developed because i never had any other opinion or it's actually a thought out perspective so only because they were mocked by shamai so their opinion came after working through all of the angles and saying still we disagree so that's all it's much more refined it's like we learned about the water under the water that comes out from under the earth it has to fight its way through the veins of the earth and come out ah it's fresh it's schmuck it's called it's grunting it's consolidated it's foundational so it's worked through the my love yes that's what that's what he explains about but so what's the nicotine so it's like a kinect sometimes the greatest azer is am i just stuck in my own little orbit of basically and it never ends or there's a connector is another person there's another perspective there's this broader horizon another way of looking at it so i can get very angry but if i get very angry what does it really mean it means not that i'm unified i'm not unified because i'm not making peace with all the parts of myself the connector he says is bringing out what's inside of you but for this you have to be able to have a larger vision of yourself says of that proceed that it can't be any other way it has to be connected water is h2o right h2o two atoms of hydrogen and they have the hydrogen bomb which is fire you have to go to a deeper space in chemistry physics and then he's it says it and say it says he took fire out of water he took water out of fire today in physics we see it literally from water hydrogen fire that's one example there's probably more i'm not uh you're saying there's many examples the same is true when it comes to wisdom it's also all about his khaljus understanding something like he said earlier means you know how to break something apart it's about taking an idea and really breaking it apart really categorizing it defining it and and dissecting every part shabbat khila says the moment you have an idea in the beginning of its revelation in the conscious what's called the epiphany the blitz the light bulb it's always on a cuda clawless it's a very general it's called seminal it's a seminal point it's a general nuclear without details when you have a new idea that comes in it never comes packaged in details it's like some some some awareness some blitz some light bulb goes off it's always a cloud and therefore in that stage it's going to be opposing another idea which seems opposite because whenever something is only often cloudy not boyfriend so you would think there's more achtus he says but it's really the other way around because at the surface its idea is opposite than another idea the power of is to take a muscle muscle means an idea and to break it apart first of all into many details so you would think oh you're creating mccoys too many brought them too many details no sheboygan becomes and over there whenever you have an idea and you flesh it out you're going to say one second but this is opposite you're always going to have that and every full-fledged idea there's going to be paradoxical details commercial is because when you go back to the core and everything you're going to have opposite dimensions as well there's no real idea that doesn't have in it opposite dimensions opposite and different and diverse and paradoxical themes chinese and therefore when you break it apart into the pratham into the details you're going to see that every idea comes in different tenuous different newest means there's different movements different motions different dimensions yes so when you break it apart suddenly instead of being opposition to oppositional to each other they're actually each one has its role it's unique component vaidez and then the idea can be grasped purely and clarity because you grasp it from every angle from every side including the paradoxes and then you'll see that all the pieces get along with each other it connects with all the aspects of the idea they're not certainly paradoxical in the sense that they're conflicting with each other on the contrary like in a jigsaw puzzle they all create part of that puzzle even though the pieces are so different or the song you have so many different notes and paradoxical notes but the real musician right it's all part of one nobody you're going up you're going down you're depressed you're happy [Laughter] far too many notes they say that that mozart once did a symphony and uh the emperor of austria was there his name was joseph emperor joseph too so he didn't have a cushion music it was a little tone death so you when ton deaf people come to symphonies they usually do what jews do during sermons schloft you know the long symphonies mozart symphonies so they say that when he finished mozart went over so the emperor says you were very good but too many notes too many notes right the russians given good but they say he told them your majesty which one do you suppose i cut which one do you suppose i cut so you say a negan is one note what a with one knot what does it sound like oh c c and even a chauffeur so the the paradoxes on the contrary when you break when you when you bring out the symphony it has all these these pratim and sometimes they're but it turns into one the same is true in life i sing to hashem in my life so one of the explanations is not just i sing during my life right my very life is ashira with my life i sing this the life is the song ashira with my life so there's ashira and ashira has a lot of different diverse protem and sometimes they're opposites but they're not now conflicting with each other in a negative sense on the contrary they enrich it they enlarge it and the same is true and a real idea and say so as long as you don't break it apart you won't find the actos you're going to see paradoxes when you break it apart you see no no no it's exactly supposed to be this way the nebula had a contemporary elevator so you see in his safer right this was always his method he'll bring a student between two rambams and how could the rambam contradict himself so you see clearly a clear contradiction here he says this and a pedic later a few proclamations the opposite allah so what happened he forgot what he wrote two chapters ago mama shastira and then what he'll say you're looking at it superficially yesterday we have to break an apartment why do you want to break it apart we're going to make more mac like us now break it apart break it apart dissect it and he'll dissect it literally dissect and dissect and dissect more and more and more and break it apart and compartmentalize and categorize and then suddenly oh this of course you have to have a contradiction it's a whole different aspect in allah so the skalkos creates actors it doesn't create doesn't create pirouette that's the nukud this ability in my to really take something apart and in learning sometimes this is missing you know sometimes people learn it's not easy to learn mishnai it's not easy to learn gemara it's a hard limit right you have to be able to take it apart the worst thing in learning is milan milan just like it flows another answer whoa and you'll see the person it looks like they have it you ask two questions completely confused because the way of learning is completely different a person yeah you start off with an akuda but then that nakuda is usually full of mistakes it's full of paradoxes only when you get into the parathym at the end you can have a much a real actus because you identified all the conflicts you identified all the contradictions and you found a part for each of them what's what's true in learning is true in relationships it's true in psychology it's true in inner peace of mind you don't have to be afraid of hiscalcus when you're dealing with true reality on the contrary you don't have to be afraid of putting of of of uh taking it taking it apart on the contrary you only have to be afraid of taking things apart when they're not really connected if if it's fake if we're really paradoxical then as long as it's glazed over with superficial unity you're happy because if you take it apart suddenly you're going to realize we're we we we're really disconnected but if it's all really part of one he says then you don't have to be afraid of his fakert his is the only path towards a deeper actress he says this in a we're in in cognition this is because it's all connected to the nakuda of bitter what do we mean it says in tightness a person should always be as soft as a reed and not as harsh and tough and stern as a cedar tree the gemara tells the whole story remember there below is a bit of shimmer and taina was coming back from the basement he was very happy and he was writing on his donkey and somebody told him shalom and he looked at him and he said i never saw such an ugly person like you is your whole city as ugly as you reika you're an empty he says why don't you go to the craftsman who made me and tell him how ugly is this vessel that you created how grotesque is this kali so yesterday the whole story about the methyl that they asked him and he was making him and then allah walked the blossom bit of shrimp and saturday that was the son of richmond walked into the basement and he said this line be as soft as a reed and not as harsh as a cedar what does that mean so again here you can misunderstand it it's like the idea of bitter you would say be as soft as a reed so let everybody step on you and don't be don't be stubborn don't be cautious so it sounds like if you misunderstand the gemara that you should be like a pushover like akane you know this one pushes me here this one pushes in lebanon the cedar trees are very very big they're very tall and they're very thick and they're very dense they're not pushovers what's the idea he says explain that obviously when somebody puts themselves in a position that i am heavy i'm stern so because of its thickness and it's yeshs it's sense of egotism so to speak it can't go in every direction it can't this is where i'm stationed this is where i'm staying psychologically it represents a certain stubbornness which comes from the ultimate insecurity a dover iraq something soft it can go east it can go west it can go north it can go south so who's more powerful who's more powerful the errors get stuck in its own mahalak so as long as it's good it's good like the gemara over the explains right that the errors if there's a storm if there's a tsunami you uproot the areas and it's done because i'm more powerful than you but the corner it goes with the storm you're going this way i'll go this way so at one on one level it looks like it's spineless right i just go in but it's much deeper than that it means i know how to weather storms because i'm not stuck in a particular place in other words i can go with the flow i can experience whatever needs to be experienced at the moment i could see things from different sides i could look at things from different perspectives jacha lint is legal and that's the idea somebody who could see things i'm not stuck in miserable might of daughter suffer so you have a much larger scope you have a bigger scope of things much more comprehensive that's the idea why is it because of the softness the softness represents a strength that in a way is deeper than the others because something that is is is is more real with itself always is aware of paradoxes and because i'm aware of my own paradoxes i could deal with paradoxes outside of me if you're not at peace with your own paradoxes so you cut out part of you so you cut out part of other people but if you're at peace with your own paradoxes you can embrace paradoxes around you first taste is stubbornness there's an expression in svarim of moosa called an arrogant person is a sheiter why maybe i'm not a shaitan by definition by definition the greatest contradiction to true intellectual discovery is arrogance the key for real truth is humility pliability flexibility if a scientist comes into the lab i once read an article by a harvard professor so he said i wasn't bad he was honest about it he said i have to admit that i went into the we me and my colleagues went into the research of cosmology with the agenda of proving that there's no god i have to admit i went in with the agenda of proving that there's no god no okay no so and that's called science the definition of sacral is bitter what's bitter bitter is i don't need the conclusion to be the way i want it to be i'm looking for the truth if you're looking for the truth you're never stuck and it's hard it's not easy because bittel like we spoke before and he's going to explain bittel comes from a very deep openness to the fact that you're rooted in infinity which is full of paradoxes it contains everything that's where bittel comes from so therefore i'm not afraid of another opinion i embrace it why do you embrace it you embrace it because it's going to make you larger not smaller why is it going to make you larger because you don't have to protect yourself in a hiding place if i have to protect myself in a hiding place and i look out is it safe is it not safe right anything you disagree with me what do i hear i hear a threat so either i run or i knock you down i'm talking emotionally inside but if you're rooted in ain't siphon infinity is the maida you don't need you don't have one stone you can have all the stones not in a hiding place ah apparently bisilla was really typhustus so that's what seychelles real sacral is bitter real sahil is what i'm just trying to be a conduit for truth that's what real seychelles the definition of real michigan is bitter complete humility i want to be a conduit for the truth so why are you afraid of different perspectives on the contrary so you're a reed and therefore a real real a real real operation intellectual upgrade what's on it is the surgery which creates symmetry real symmetry only comes from differences from diversity you can't have symmetry without diversity you can have art without diversity unless it's going to be one color this real unity is not one aspect and that's it it's when many many diverse people and ideas and details come together in cahoots and they work together to help each other to the point that you don't know where is the beginning and where is the end because everyone is an essential component you don't say oh you're matter you don't matter the moment you have to say you don't matter it's not real actors it's fake actors fake actresses you amputate everything that doesn't fit into my picture why is that fake it's fake because you're not even in touch with yourself because you include that other side you're not so small you're bigger everything has so if you don't make peace with your own paradox so you're amputating everybody else's messiah one indian compels the other one i need you i can't be me without you but that comes from a paradigm of bitter of insoyphouse of of infinity and then you have real actors because there's no real opposites when actress is only based and everyone thinks the same it's fake because the moment i have a different opinion boom out if everybody looks the same and thinks the same and does the same and functions the same and everything is the same wow it's beautiful right we're the most united existence in the world the problem is the moment my individuation comes out what's going to happen it's like the couple the first disagreement and there's rupture and there's no relationship anymore as long as we agree good the moment you disagree with me you're out so the actress is very very superficial what was the mistake of socialism of communism right the native hacker says the durham flag nobody is allowed everything is one the problem is everything is not one what does it say on the dollar e uh pribulos unum from many one we live in a world of diversity we don't have one bird you have ten thousand species of birds you don't have one mammal you have seven thousand species of mammals you don't have one insect you have millions of species of insects and rodents right millions of species of fish ain't they saying shovels you don't have one person you don't have one person even one person is not one person take an x-ray of your brain but it's all one how is it one it's one because real after says when all the diversity becomes one that's r that's unity that's real unity it's not skin deep unity but this is hard yeah what does rashi say you agree with me good that's not a leader a leader is i bring out the song in each person and your song is different than my song because the symphony is diverse why does it have to be that way because ultimately pre-creation there was oneness creation is from one came many and we create from anyone this is much deeper than the way this hisakhrus the unity of the caucasus of the nephesh when they are submerged in the subconscious viscosity is very interesting when something is in the subconscious it's always unity but he says the reason it's unity is because it's not identified but the moment it's going to be identified suddenly there's going to be ah so that's not real actors real afters is not when you hold back on the diversity everything is subconscious the koichi is the way they're called in the atsum so they don't come out with their individuation it's nice he said that's not real unity real unity is you come out in your full glory and you come out in your full glory and i come out of my full glory and the diversity now contributes to each other like the limbs of the body like the organs in the body like the cells in the body like the neurons in the brain like the notes in the song like the different protein of the circle you build a circle it's like a mansion every every detail adds its own uniqueness and yes the paradox has become part of the symmetry the nimtsa but this did you say there's always two things you have to know that you're really one and you have to be able to operate from a place of bitter the nymphs this type of skalkos breaking things apart is not the opposite of unity it creates real unity that no two opinions are alike when it comes to kedusha that's a reason for unity commercials becomes a milo that diverse and paradoxical ideas joined together vuing is opposed in opposition to ai is the beginning of this sequel is not infinity seika is like we learned in the previous year it's all about dimensions it's grasping it's finite ideas need beginning middles and ends so it's the opposite of ain't surfing the opposite of bitter he says no because this calculus of is one that's looking to create a deeper unity not a unity by divesting everything from its from its protem but by going into the protim and showing how each one has its unique part to play in the cosmic symphony its unique note in the divine symphony and therefore on the contrary we really really help each other it's true it's that result says that when mashiach comes along who's going to be like right but is a much higher standard so when mashiach comes that standard will become halal but now the standard is basil basil is a lower standard of inshallah it says in zaya the beshamai is always stringent most cases stringent basil is lenient because bashar al-assad comes from gevorah and bacillus saw him because those came from [Music] is a much higher standard it's much more demanding more exacting right like the famous leicesters some people just learned it last week or two weeks ago that a few days ago kate said miraculous right but shaman says of midway you're just saying nice things to everybody you don't even mean it that's an example right but shaman wants whatever is on the plymouth that's what it is so it's it's a much higher standard visham but here we're just talking about the nakuda of the basil creating space for bisham so bashami understood they still understood basharam and then basil it's an interesting thing there's a rambam in hilkha sanhedrin it's based if somebody was tried by besdin and the whole sanhedrin right away comes to a unanimous verdict that he's guilty they let him go so people the marathi says that the muscular make fun of this gemara it's like a joke right of the whole supreme court is for sure for sure you kill them the majority you follows of everybody so the the the i think the madrishma all right says sanhedrin they opened up they opened up the court and they said guilty says there was no debate there was no counter opinion if they sat a whole day and they fought with each other then it's fine i don't mind that it was a unanimous vote pastor where's the debate there's no other opinion there's no other perspective nothing he says that's not good it's not good because it means that the guilt verdict is very it's superficial it's a very fascinating idea so poisonous this was not this is not uh it's not thorough most debates are not real debates it's not like i'm ready to be swayed it's not it's i'm just waiting for you to finish i can attack you that's why most debates are ineffective because it's just for entertainment it's uh it's you know kangaroo courts it's it's entertainment it's like the gladiators in rome it's for entertainment so in america we don't do it with dogs and slaves we do it with with our words but it's the gladiators the more you can insult you can stack you see most debates between people it's not schones it's it's not anymore uh it becomes the opposite of this because people they their their lowest angels come out you know what i mean their lowest angels it's just completely defensive the moment you become defensive you're in a different space you're not this this whole thing doesn't apply i just want to kill you just get out of my life so it's a whole different it's a different mode it's not coming from a bittle comes from a place of of of deep confidence that's rooted in infinity it's a different you could feel you're in a different space you're always with me there's serenity because you're not you have to protect yourself this idea is that you don't have to protect yourself right when we get we get angry at a person who has a different opinion or a different experience of life especially your spouse or a friend right or a sibling what does it really mean it means that i'm i i there's something that's triggering me somehow if i tolerate what you're saying with simcha it's taking away from me why is it taking away from me why is it taking away from me it's taking away from me because my identity is very very finite it's very timid it's very it's kashika aries it looks like i'm a tough guy i'm not a tough guy i'm really the read i'm very easy to get rid of and that's why i have to be so tough why do you have to be so tough you have to be so tough you see sometimes in life the toughest people why are they tough huh they had to they had to become so harsh because they didn't feel that they were threatened they they were ah they were so threatened my existence is so weak that if i don't become uh if i don't become mr tough and i'm always that and i don't even know how to go out of it i'm going to die so now you're coming and you're you're pressured threatening my survival it's like we spoke in sheer number three so there's a lion in the room so i have to fight back you don't tell the lion what's your opinion you shoot or you run if you have a gun you shoot if not you jump out the window or you freeze right so what is it essentially coming from it's coming from a space that i am in a very narrow space i'm an extremely narrow narrow space i'm very very threatened so i stick out my head from my hiding place and suddenly you're disagreeing with me and i'm like oh my god my existence is partially threatened and that means that i'm not rooted in my own self i'm not rooted in my own infinity my existence is extremely shallow that's what yeshua says when i'm rooted in ainsof so first of all your confidence is from a different magnitude because you're a conduit for infinity and not only that paradoxes become a major part of your life because you're uncomfortable with your own paradoxes because ain't safe includes all the sides so therefore when somebody else brings it out on the contrary you can make space for it and it actually contributes and then you figure out a way of how to come to a conclusion because ultimately you have to have a mechanism of bringing things back okay we'll continue beijing hashem tomorrow morning 7 45 everybody have a beautiful and unified day raka's resiliency is very tough i'm saying it can't be in errors if the air is if a building is like an error it's going to break down exactly the bridge has this way the bridge you say a bridge has to swell it has to go backwards otherwise it collapses playa would have collapsed well exists in every person's life every person from when you're born throughout your journey you go through all the members messiahs from ramses all the way to arves so we go through all the 42 journeys so it's a journey yeah and you sing it there's many men hug him they sing it beautifully because it's ashira so neban in the igloos i sing to hashem while i'm alive but during my life he says no but it can also be the base in los angeles with my life the life is the shira it's not while i'm alive i sing songs no but the shira has different stations he wrote in a letter to a poet once i saw shirley every part of my life is another dimension of the syria every moment is a note and that note you want to play fully now because you have exhilarating notes you have challenging notes a real symphony so dalia said you did this yeah this tension there's resolution there's rocks they just show if every has ratsey and sheif says there's no doesn't have to say and shy is tension and truth is resolution but it's one shira you don't have to get upset say ain't it brings out different aspects of life that you had abilities some people oh yeah incompatibility yeah he's not saying that everyone could be everybody's best friend and every person i could reveal all my secrets to you have you have blackman writes you know it's all trees in a forest right so you have all the trees have to get along with each other trees have to work together but it doesn't mean we're from one cherish two branches could be from one root so it's a special connection you have somebody you have a special connection with you from the same root of course there's different levels of relationships not everybody marries everybody else boss playing the play name there's different there's intimate relationships right and that's fine what if what if we're not compatible listen there's so many variables sometimes you need boundaries with certain people it's not uh it's not a contradiction if a person is butting heads with somebody constantly so sometimes you need boundaries right respect but but you also want to ask yourself why is he triggering me so much why does this person trigger me someone what does it do and usually you'll see that there's something inside of me that's unresolved the vashem says that when you see a flaw in somebody else you're looking at a mirror what does he mean he means is somebody's really triggering me i have to ask what's not resolved in me sometimes i see a person's flaw and i know what it is and i try to help them if i could help them i'm going to help them but sometimes i'm angry and triggered i'm so triggered and then you have to look into yourself it's not easy because i always want to look at you and blame you you know but that's uh that's the idea the we haven't had him for a while panam khadasha's balacan we had him virtually but not physically the future is a more integrated reality like i i see like the active rabbit says that that like the jaw the jew where is the mother contract it is integrated but basham is a much higher standard of life is because it gives more focus right right din is more focused always kasir is more but it will be more integrated the world will be able to be an expression of bashami's standards beshamah is more demanding but sharma is more exacting what's on the inside has to be on the outside what's on the outside has to be on the inside and basil says it's more nuanced it's more nuanced we spoke to siam of asham a few months ago this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at www.theyshiva.net donate