Leadership & Kingship - Judah vs Reuben - Tehila Gimpel: The Land of Israel Fellowship

hi everybody so most of the time when we're reading these portions about the brothers we tend to compare and contrast ysep and Yehuda Joseph and Juda both are the prominent Sons the sort of Front Runners towards the leadership but I want to look at a different relationship a different comparison that caught my eye this year in reading the portions and that's the comparison between Yehuda and Ruben at three major Junctions there's some kind of family conversation going on where only ruven and Yehuda are speaking and their words and therefore their characters seem to be juxtaposed to one another once is at the selling of ysep where we really only hear from ruen and Yehuda personally who both offer kind of alternative solutions to killing ysep and it's Yehuda who ultimately gets followed and listened to then in Egypt we have two different opportunities where relating to binyamin where ruven and Yehuda speak and we have these conversations with Yakov trying to uh convince him to allow bamin to go down to Egypt where both Yehuda and ruven offer solutions to their father but ultimately Yehuda is only Yehuda convinces Yakov and not ruven now in each of these situations all of the brothers are there and we can imagine that a lot is actually being said but the Torah specifically records again and again these two brothers speaking as if to show us that there are two kind kinds of maybe models uh of being and and models of leadership now when we think about it ruven is of course the oldest he is the Bor he's the you know seemingly the one who should be inheriting yakov's uh you know yakov's blessing and the leadership uh we know that often the second son is chosen instead of the first son but yakob doesn't seem too happy with Ley and Shimon after the sh you know uh call it Fiasco the occurrence and so the next sun in line is Yehuda so we have these two characters that are the let's say the candidates for being the true leaders of Israel within the Yakov Leia family and that's ruen and Yehuda I want to compare what we are being called to put together from watching these kind of two ju juxtapositions of these figures these two different kinds of personalities approaches philosophies they're they're the models being offered of the leadership and one is ultimately chosen as the leader of Israel so what does that have to teach us so let's back up a little let's look at ruven Ruben in these situations is showing kind of one one posture one spiritual uh you know uh emotional posture and maybe it's just me but I can't escape this feeling that there are these awkward moments after every time ruen expresses himself each time he makes this Grand suggestion or Proclamation and there's this sort of awkward silence that follows no one ever really rallies behind him but each time he seems like righteous like he's really trying his best why don't his ideas ever land and because if we can understand that we can understand why he didn't ultimately become the leader of Israel his tribe didn't ultimately become the leader of Israel so in some way that I that that thing that he represents is something that was not supposed to be the fundamental idea guiding the people of Israel so let's go back to these stories when the brothers want to kill ysep what does ruen say he says in uh chapter 37:22 two he said let's throw him in the pit he saido not shed blood throw him into this pit here in the desert do not lay a hand on him what is he saying ruen is suggesting that you know he wants to rescue him and bring him back to his father but he doesn't want to say that so how does he present it he presents it in some kind of weird like moral sterility he he's making some kind of distinction between actively killing someone or just passively letting him die in the pit now we know that he really intends good but he doesn't have the the moral leadership Vis his brothers to actually say that so he says why don't we just let him die in the pit we don't want to have our hands sullied with blood the outcome will be the same he'll be dead don't worry but at least we'll have some sort of plausible deniability we don't actually know what happened to him we'll keep our hands clean now at first they do what he says but there's also this super awkward dynamic because we as the readers know that they listened ultimately to Yehuda and decided to sell Yosef to to Egypt but Ruben comes back to save him in the pit and he's not there but he's shocked now that's an awful moment but I don't think we really actually internalize how awful this moment is I don't think we actually catch the full awfulness because what does that mean it means that he totally missed and was left out of the conversation when Yehuda made his suggestion of selling yoseph meaning they're all talking and Consulting one another and he is out of the loop he's out of the picture now if you follow the meaning of this to its end it's actually insane because it doesn't say anywhere that they ever actually told him that they sold yoseph when they go back to Yakov and say tar y that ysep was eaten by an animal and they show his bloody jacket Ruben might actually have no idea that they're lying at that point so not only do they not take his opinion under advisement they might actually be tricking him just like they're tricking their father meaning his moral status in their eyes is really just not very impressive they don't see him as a leader or even as a person whose opinion is respected enough to be taken into consideration to confide their dirty little secret to him and we can actually see this in the next place where we see ruen speaking in chapter 42: 21 because the brothers are doing this soul searching and they're taking responsibility and they're saying O all of this is happening to us because of when we heard our brother crying and we didn't listen to him and then ruen responds to them did I not tell you do not sin against the boy but you would not listen and now we are being called to account for spilling his blood here we see he actually thinks that blood had been spilled even though actually that never happened meaning he might very well be under the impression that yoseph was just accidentally killed and he never actually found out that he was sold no one even responds to him it's another Awkward Moment no one really knows what to say to him at this point and so there's this uncomfortable situation where ruven is making this dramatic pronouncement to the rest of his family and then no one actually says anything ysep meanwhile is hearing this and he goes to the side and cries but he's not taken enough by this situation by this proclamation to think that he's you know to be satisfied that it's time to reveal himself and what's painful here is that it's just kind of like an iold you Soul moment they're all doing this soul searching and taking responsibility and saying you know we we've really done the wrong thing imagine if he would have said now this is a great time to do chuva we have to figure out how to make this right inste he goes I told you so I told you we shouldn't have spilled the blood you didn't listen to me I'm good you're bad instead of saying how do we make this better and anybody who's ever had the pleasure of saying I Told You So knows that it's not a small it's not a small sense of satisfaction it's a meaningful sense of satisfaction but it doesn't actually do anything so he's like wrestling with his own guilt and Paralyzed by it not doing anything productive with it just trying to make that bad feeling go away and say no no no it wasn't me I was okay this is all on you guys and then we again see Yehuda and ruven having these two you know um having these um uh speaking moments in 4237 when they need more food Shimon is in jail but they can't go down without bamin so Yakov says no way I'm not sending him but they really need food so Ruben says I'll take him down if anything happens I'll kill my two sons he says he says you may put my own two sons to death if I do not bring bamin back to you entrust him to my care and I promise that I will bring him back to you that's in verse 37 and it's another awkward moment because on the one hand it seems like a really good-hearted suggestion that he's trying to find a solution that will allow everyone to replenish the food supply but also his father should see from this how dedicated he is right to keeping bami and safe but when you actually look at the suggestion not only is it sort of morally off like do we really kill two innocent children if something happens to somebody else but it's also a little bit socially awkward it's not tapped into the situation you yakob has lost two sons ysf is gone Shimon is gone he's also lost two grandsons Aaron Onan the children of Yehuda have also died and so like laxidasical throwing around the possibility of losing another two grandchildren how would that help Yakov anyway so this seemingly good-hearted suggestion doesn't really get much like much credit it doesn't really convince Yakov to do anything and so they continue to just be hungry until eventually Yehuda will ultimately convince him as we'll see soon so now what is the common thread between all of ruven's appearances here he seems I would suggest to be primarily focused on trying to avoid the unpleasant feeling of guilt he starts out saying yeah let's not kill him he speaks to that part of all of us that doesn't want to experience the bad feeling of of of of doing something wrong of you know that the brothers don't want to see blood and guts okay so he's not offering any kind of moral alternative really just avoidance of a bad feeling let's let him die and just not have to actually see that and then with Yakov when he offers to kill his two sons it's not really any kind of moral High Ground once again but some sort of demonstrative grandstanding oh you know I'm going to feel so terrible if bamin doesn't come back you can even kill my sons meaning in both of these situations he's offering no actual solution but basing everything on just this sort of fixation around his guilt essentially you can see that he's he's almost Paralyzed by his guilt and wanting to avoid guilt and no one really takes him into account no one you know he's he's concerned with the Purity or impurity of his own actions he doesn't sweep anybody else up he doesn't actually bring anyone to any meaningful decisions and I have to say that I personally I deeply identify with ruven I often find myself when I've done something wrong just completely paralyzed with feeling bad about it and trying to say well maybe maybe it's not my fault maybe it's your fault maybe it's somebody else's fault oh I knew we shouldn't have done this I told you so and and and just dwelling upon this and I of course come by this honestly because Jewish guilt is like a well-known stereotype for a good reason and I have this ongoing argument with Jeremy my husband who says no guilt is a bad thing look how it paralyzes you and I say no no no no guilt is a good thing that's the voice of my conscience and he says but look at you you become paralyzed you punish yourself and you're of no use to anyone that way but you know while I see where he's coming from it sometimes makes me say to him like are you spending enough time with my bubby or any Yiddish Bubby for that matter because like if you like like Jews know like you're supposed to feel guilty and say oh I did everything wrong but the question is how do we Channel these bad feelings in a productive way maybe that is what Yehuda is coming to teach us I would suggest that Yehuda is the sort of mirror contrast to this ruen way of being in the world that's just fretting over his own guilt and what he's done wrong and Yehuda comes to say what do you do when you have these bad feelings you stand up and take responsibility let's look at Yehuda Yehuda when ysep is in the pit makes the suggestion of selling him now he's so interesting because he starts out by making a suggestion that everyone listens to but it's not a perfect solution it would have been very nice if he could have said to his brothers listen let's just let him go let's all play nicely with one another but I think like Ruben he understands the brothers are not in that zone they're not in the mood to hear of any kind of reconciliation so if nothing else at least in his leadership moment he takes responsibility for yosef's fate even if it's not a perfect solution and he says you know what I have a better idea let's sell him and everyone listens to him he saves ysep by doing that he is willing to take responsibility and give an imperfect solution he's going have to carry the moral burden of that and it's not a pretty solution it's not something that he can be terribly proud of but at least he's carrying that decision that difficult decision on his shoulders and then again with his father when they're really needing food and they need to bring bamin down Yehuda says something that's so interesting he says I'll take responsibility why for the continuity of the Jewish people because look at what the verse says it says then Judah said to his father send the boy with me and let and said and let us uh set out and go so that we should live and not die we you and also our little ones he's saying for the sake of Jewish continuity for the continuity of the Jewish people for that we us not to starve I'm going to take responsibility what does he offer if Ruben offered to kills to kill you know for his sons to be killed what is Yehuda offering he says I offer myself as a guarantee for him you can demand him from me if I do not bring him back to you and present him to you alive I will have sinned against you for all this time so he's saying I guarantee the boy what does that mean why does that persuade Yakov doesn't ruven's offer seem at least symbolically more convincing like his own two sons that's like real dedication right it seems more profound than just saying yeah it's on me I got got it Dad I got it it's on me but for some reason that's persuading Yakov more why so it took me a while to figure this out but I think that actually when you look closely at the words the hints are all right there because what does he say in Hebrew the words he says to guarantee bamin returning is an I will guarantee him that word AR venu to guarantee we see also in the story of Yehuda and Tamar she says how do I know you're going to pay me and she uses that exact same root word she says give me an aravon she he goes and he says take my staff and my seal as aravon in chapter 38:17 same word what does that mean it means you keep something of mine and you're going to keep it until I pay you you know that I'm not going to go anywhere without this deal being sealed and being coming to its completion I'm taking responsibility for the payment and indeed when she shows up and he's accusing her and he's upset with her and she takes out his his staff and his seal and he publicly takes responsibility he uses the exact same word when speaking to his father about bamin it's like he's reminding his father of his own shameful story and saying you know me you know that even if it takes me being publicly humiliated no matter what happens no no matter how bad it is I take responsibility I'm not perfect I make bad choices sometimes I've done things that I'm not proud of but I doesn't I don't I never let that paralyze me I never let that stop me I make the situation right so who is the aravon who who is the guarantee here if in the story with Tamar his staff and his seal were the collateral who is the collateral here he says it's me Ruben says if I fail I'm going to feel so bad I'll I'll make some kind of hor horrific symbolic punishment of myself Yuda says M failure is not an option for me because I am the collateral I will not come back I am the staff and the seal I will hurl myself into the line of fire and not fail I will not fail you and that's what convinces Yakov and then we see that actually happening because when we get to the last situation with the Goblet and Yehuda speaks up that's actually what happens because what does he say he says be adoni it is on me take me instead I am the collateral he will swap bamin out because failure to keep his word to his father is simply not an option how he feels is not the issue ruven doesn't offer this he's busy feeling terrible but trying to blame other people and maybe it's me maybe it's you he can't actually figure out what is the leadership thing that needs to be done Yehuda is the one who can step forward and take responsibility for the situ ation so I think these uh these two sort of parallel lines of spiritual postures are showing us a subtle difference between guilt and the fixation on guilt and feeling bad and not wanting to feel bad versus responsibility they're so similar because both of them recognize what is morally right and wrong and want to be doing the right thing but one of them is paralyzing and the other one is motivating when you look at Yehuda he becomes the leader of Israel why why because it's easy to take the moral High Ground to point out the problem say I told you so and be you know fretting over how do I punish myself how do I make myself feel better but the Torah is not a story of the Jewish people just always having the moral High ground and doing the right thing the stories of the Torah and the stories of the book of prophets are primarily stories of a people constantly making terrible mistakes and then their subsequent efforts to take responsibility for them and fix them and it's so real cuz wouldn't it be great to tell to have a Bible that said hey look there's these people God revealed himself to them and then they did the right thing and look how great they did look how well that went for them the end that would be nice but it's not real we are the story of a people that often goes wrong but we're constantly trying to fix ourselves if we look at the story in the stories in the books of prophets we see two lines of kingship take for example sha and David both of them made mistakes both of them sinned why did sha lose the kingship and not David for his sins was it for the sins or was it for the response to the sins sha is constantly trying to avoid the bad feeling by saying no it's his fault it's your fault the people did it the you know there was some reason or the other why I did this wrong and and always busy in trying to make sure that he can just avoid that horrible paralyzing feeling whereas David courageously faces his misdoings and says okay I did the wrong thing like but then he he he commits to doing chuva commits to fixing things Comm commits to taking responsibility that is the fundamental underlying story of the Jewish people we are a people that gets it wrong but constantly don't we never give up from trying to fix ourselves we don't lose ourselves in the guilt of our misdoings but really actually try to dig ourselves out time and time again and it connects so deeply to the story of Kaneka because there are a lot of messages in Kaneka and we talk about the candles and the Miracle of the oil and we talk about the courage of standing up small nation to the Greek Empire but there's one story that I think doesn't get nearly enough attention and it's a very profound story in in in the book of mccabes 1 in Chapter 2 and they're corroborated in other stories as well says in in passage number 35 that the Greeks were coming to attack the rebel Jews that were hiding and it says but they did not answer them or Hur a stone at them or block up their hiding places for they said let us all die in our innocence Heaven and Earth testify for us that you are killing us unjustly why because it was Shabbat the early Rebels again the the evil Greek Empire they didn't want to fight on Shabbat and then it says so they attacked them on the Sabbath and they died with their wives and their children and their cattle to the number of a thousand persons and then when MAA and his and his family and his friends learned of this they mourned for them deeply and each said to his neighbor if we do as our Brethren have done and refuse to fight with the Gentiles for our lives and our and our uh our children they will quickly destroy us from the earth so they would made this decision that day let us fight against every man who comes to attack us on the Sabbath day let us not die as our Brethren died in their hiding places so there was this ruven kind of attitude we can't dirty our hands fighting on Shabbat we need the moral High Ground we need to be Guiltless we need to be blameless The macbes Who maybe uncoincidentally would ultimately be led by another Yehuda Yehuda the makabe say no no no no no just like biblical Yehuda facing famine that was threatening the continuity of am Israel the makab say we will fight on Shabbat it's not the perfect solution we don't have prophets to tell us it's okay and we won't get any kind of punishment from hasm but we are responsible for the future of the Jewish people we need to fix this we'll bear the burden of whatever that means of getting our hands dirty and doing things that don't always feel morally right but they are what needs to be done in the broader perspective of what is needed for the Jewish people and that is the first time that the Hanukkah story actually turns around they're losing and losing and that's like the first time where it's like there's actually like a turn for the good because no one was willing to take responsibility and make a difficult decision and put their souls their Eternal Souls on the line to do what was right until the mccabes came and made that decision and that connects us to a modern you know our modern times of what morality is I think everyone probably said there was a big controversy over Google's AI because it was asked if you could prevent nuclear war by Mis but you had to misgender somebody by calling them not you know their preferred pronoun what would be better and the the Google uh Gemini said it would be better to allow nuclear War than to misgender someone why it's exactly like the ruven and Yehuda dilemma it's immoral you have to have the moral High Ground you have to not hurt anybody's feelings you have to maintain your moral Purity totally not taking responsibility for the fate of like the people that would be damaged by that decision and and and and you know the fate of the people around you a perfect example we saw just actually right now there was an Islamic terror attack in Germany on a on a Christmas uh festival and you could see the efforts in the media to cover up that this was actually Jihad my favorite was a Canadian minister saying that this terror attack highlights the dangers of islamophobia and hate speech against Muslims really is that what it highlights like we're so bad we're at fault really that immobilizes us from taking decisive action that needs to be taken so I don't think there's and and you know I don't think there's anywhere more that you can see this than in the international uh treatment of Israel as Israel is taking responsibility to protect ourselves and ultimately the world from genocidal G it is so easy to sit with your suit in your office in the UN and say oh did Israel do enough for humanitarian Aid trucks did you use the most precise weapons how comfortable it is to take the moral High ground and say what everyone else is doing wrong when you have zero responsibility for what they will actually mean and Israel itself is not immune to this impulse I would argue that the rift within the Jewish people in Israel goes precisely down this fault line between ruv and Yehuda impulses between guilt that says we have to be so careful not to cause any casualties on the other side we have to give warnings we have to be so cautious we don't want anything bad to happen because we're going to feel so guilt it's this paralyzing impulse it says just give up you know don't don't fight back because we might do something wrong it won't be it won't be aesthetic on the news right versus the Yuda in us that says first and foremost we take responsibility to ensure the safety of those who are responsible which is for responsible for which is first and foremost the Jewish people in Israel and even if it requires imperfect Solutions solutions that don't always seem to be uh they don't you know they're not they're not pretty on the news even if it means doing something that might not look good failure is not an option when Jewish continuity is on the line and in a lot of ways that's how we got to this point because people didn't want us to shoot on riers On the gauen Border or people shooting missiles into Israel were ended up being completely lulled into Paralysis on October 7th so in this portion I think we're being called to be Yehuda Yehuda of the Torah Yehuda of the macbes Yehuda in our personal lives and Yehuda as the people who say that we will never again be paralyzed by fear and guilt but always motivated by a sense of responsibility to the Future and well-being of Amel and ultimately for the entire world bye guys hey this is Jeremy gimpel if you enjoyed that content then you will enjoy all the content on the landof Israel Network at www.the landof israel.com and if you want to take it up a level you can join our Global community of people that learn together that work together that are all a part of a global movement of over 1,000 families all over the world and you can join the land of Israel Fellowship check it out on the landof israel.com [Music]