Korach - Women's Wisdom

You're listening to the weekly para podcast recorded with Hashem's never ending assistance in Raish Israel 5775 2015. This week's part is part Korak and I'd like to share with you a thought that I actually heard recently at a Shvraus and combine it with kind of a cute thing that I actually said at this and I think there's a very deep important lesson as always as we study the ideas of the Tyra and the para there's so much that we can bring into our lives. Torah tells us that Korak had a group of people. He gathered 250 people together with him to fight against Moshe to make a claim for the kahuna to be the high priest. He said that he deserved it instead of Araen, instead of Aaron the high priest. And as a result of this, we all know the story. Korak, he fights against Moshe. His 250 people who are with him, they all are burned alive by this ash that comes out, this fire that comes out from heaven. and Korak and his family and his and all of his rush all of his possessions they all go down into there's an earthquake the earth splits open they fall down into hell to ganim and the story ends not really it doesn't really end there exactly but for our purposes it ends there now the measures points out the tells us that there was a very a very important person his name was palace and palace was one of the people who had come along with Dustin and and Korak. They had all come to fight against Moshe to rebel and to say to try to claim the kuna to to claim that Moshe was using nepotism, heaven forbid, etc. So this personalis is mentioned at the beginning of the para, but on is not mentioned later in the para and the measure points out that he's not mentioned. There's a good reason why he's not mentioned because he didn't end up being part of the rebellion. Now what was the reason that he wasn't part of the rebellion? The medish tells us that Benelis had a very wise wife. The verse says the wisdom of women has the power to build a home. Says the maj is a reference to palace's wife. What was what was the greatness of this woman? What did she do? What did she say? So Palace came home and told his wife all about that which was going on with Korak and the rebellion and Moshe had called them the following day to to a challenge to a face off so to speak. And on bin Palace's wife says to him, you know, look, let's let's be honest here. If Ar is the one who's chosen by God to be the Cohen Guttle, to be the priest, you're not going to be any different. You're not going to be higher up. If Korak is chosen by God to be the high priest, you're also not going to be any different. You're going to be the same person. You're going to have the same position of power. So don't get involved in this. M is don't get involved in this argument. What does his wife do? The message tells us his wife gives him some wine to drink, gives him some whatever he she does to get him to fall asleep so that when they come knocking on his door that he's out. He's out completely. Not only that, interestingly says the magish, the the wife of pelis actually uncovers her hair. Terra obligates a woman, a married woman to cover her hair. She uncovered her hair and she stood at the door of their house and this way anyone who would come to try to get on to join forces they would be turned away. They wouldn't want to look because her hair was uncovered. They felt uncomfortable. So they would leave. So Omen Palis's wife used herma used her wisdom in order to construct to keep the construction of her home alive. And as a result of that, Omen Palace was saved. He wasn't amongst those who were destroyed and killed in the rebellion of Korak and he survives. Now the message points out that this was true of his wife. This was a woman who through her wisdom was able to keep the construction of her home alive. But there was another woman, another wife. The magician Mish mentions more than one wife, but we'll focus for a moment on Korak's wife. Korak's wife was the one who actually instigated the entire story. She was the one who the the measures tells us that that Korak came with a with a talis with a talit that was all blue wool. It was all blue. And he asked Mosher Rabenu is there a necessity to place strings of place the blue strings on the corners of this garment if the entire garment is blue. So where did he get this blue garment? He got it from his wife. His wife made the garment. Korak's wife was someone who encouraged him to rebel against Misha. She was standing behind him and she was encouraging him to do that which was wrong. And as a result of that, she and her husband and her family and all their children, all their possessions were destroyed and they're remembered in in a negative light for all times, for all generations. Now, if we look at these two stories, it seems like Korak's wife was a better wife. It seems like they had a better marriage. She was encouraging him to be great, to be all that he could be, to be the coyut, to be the high priest. And yet the result of her encouragement was destruction. And Om Pelis, he comes in and his wife doesn't sound to be very encouraging. She's like, "You're a shnook. You're not going to be anything greater if Korak is the high priest or if if Aaron is the high priest." Yeah. Just acknowledge who you are and be honest and don't get involved in the arguments. So she stands up against him. It's very interesting that that the refers to as that's the epitome of a proper marriage is the the wife who knows how to say to her husband this is not the right move this is not the thing for you don't get involved stands up to her husband and and helps him out so that he doesn't have to be involved in this mus in this argument so this was the idea that I heard at this and I wanted to also share with you just a cute thing that I said at the shabus that uh it was really sweet. They gave out books, random books to each of the people who were sitting at the table and they wanted each person to give a blessing, take a line from each of these books and give a blessing to to the couple, to the kala, to the bride and the groom who had just gotten married. And the book that I got was a a children's book which had about three lines on each page. And the the book read that there was a person, a kid or something who asked the zoo to send him a pet. First they sent him an elephant and the elephant wasn't good. So he said, "No, it's too big." And he sent it back. And then they sent him a giraffe. It wasn't good. It was too big. Sent it back. They sent him a lion. It was too fierce. So they sent it back, etc., etc. A whole bunch of different animals. And at the very end of the story, so they send him a puppy. And the puppy was perfect. So he kept him. So I actually in in giving the blessing I read the whole book which took about one minute. And the thought that I shared with them is that you know when a person gets married, of course at the beginning everything is flowery and everything is wonderful and and you know you see all the beautiful wonderful traits of the other person. But sometimes as your marriage progresses, as you go through the years, there'll be times where oh they're too big or they're too fierce, whatever it is, and you want to send them back. But if you stick it out and you read through the whole book and you get to the end and you stick it out with your partner, with your with your spouse, so in the end, if you really are committed to your relationship, you will realize despite all of the foibless, the human foibless that a person might have, this person, Hashem, chose and is perfect for you. They're exactly who you need. And you realize that this person is a keeper. And and I think that this story this idea is connected to the story of Pelis and the and and Kak and I'll explain how because a person when when I look at things in the moment when I'm stuck in this moment it's very easy for me to get caught up in the anger of the moment the emotions of the moment or even to be caught up in my own constricted thinking which isn't as broad and as and as expansive as it could be now when a person is inside you know they're in a relationship with a spouse so their spouse might do something wrong or or I might do something wrong to my spouse and in that in that moment so things are very constricted and things are very tough and challenging to be able to expand past that is something which requires a commitment it it requires a commitment to the relationship I said at the at the moment when I got married that I gave my wife a kuva a document which says in it that I am committed to you. I'm committed. I'm going to value you. I'm going to work for you. Do whatever you need. I'm going to give you livelihood. That commitment that I made at the moment of inspiration when the when the relationship was fresh and the love was was palpable. That commitment helps me that broad vision that expansive vision of knowing that I have a commitment. And we're going to keep that commitment no matter no matter what may come come what may the the relationship is paramount and even though in this moment it might seem challenged. It might seem difficult. It might seem like I made a mistake. But if I stick it out and I remain committed and recognize that no this is the person Hashem chose for me. So that commitment that broader picture is what helps me hold on to it and then in the end realize that indeed this person is exactly who I need and pelis the the wife of pelis if we contrast her vision and we contrast Korak's wife's vision Korak's wife couldn't see the broader picture she was stuck in the moment she was stuck in the anger of the moment hey how could it be the measures talks about what motivated her to to to convince her husband to fight against Moshe But she was caught up in the anger of the moment. He did something to dishonor you. And as a result of that, she said, "No, you have to fight and you have to get your honor back." She couldn't see the broader picture. She couldn't see that Mosher Rabu was indeed the He was the redeemer of the Jewish people. He was a Nvi. He was a prophet. Aaron was also a prophet. These were people who had a broad vision. And she in her limited view, in her limited vision, was stuck inside of that anger, inside of that that emotion. Oman pelis's wife she was able to look at things from a broader picture and say yeah there's the anger of the moment there's who's right there's the principle of it and his her husband was caught up with with korak and it was a beautiful idea that is saying you know the entire Jewish people everyone is equally holy everyone is great everyone has their own special thing that they they give to the Jewish people why why are you Moshe why are you making yourselves above the Jewish people. That was what he was saying. And that there there was there was a lot of truth to that that there is in a certain sense every single person has a holy deep relationship with Hashem that's that that no one can that no one else can touch that that no one is greater than anyone else in a in that from that perspective. But the mistake was the mistake was and co and on's wife saw that the mistake was that that's not always true. There are places where there is a higher and a lower and that's what Oman pelis's wife says to him whether it's Korak who's going to be the kang the high priest or whether it's Aaron you will remain where you are it's not going to make any difference in other words within the the statement of Korak that there's no hierarchy is a statement that he wants to be on top and and either way you're going to be the same you're going to be in the in the lower echelons so to speak and therefore says she's able to see the larger picture that hey don't get involved. It's not necessary to get involved. I don't have to be caught up and stuck in the anger of this moment in the emotion of the moment in trying to prove that indeed we're all equal and that there shouldn't be any hierarchy. That that's true. It's nice but it doesn't work. It doesn't work out in the end. She was able to see that broader picture. So the lesson for me that this drives home the lesson that I take back with me I hope that you might also take with you is that it's so important all the time to you know it's so easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment. It's so easy to get caught up in anger or in sadness or whatever it is. And the lesson that we learned from Oman Palace's wife and that we learn when we speak about relationships is that when there's a commitment, when there's a higher vision, when someone has the ability to step out of the moment and and pause, if a person can do that, so they have a chance to maintain the commitment that they have to the relationship. The commitment itself gives a person a chance to do that. If I'm committed, no matter what, come what may, if I'm committed, so that's going to keep me and hold me and I'm going to be able to get through the difficult moments. This too shall pass that if I focus on the fact that, you know, this is how I feel now, but you know, there's a much greater vision that I can have for myself. There's a much greater vision for this relationship. There's a much greater vision whether it's between myself and my spouse or between me and God. Sometimes I have I have anger towards God. I've done something that that places me in a place of separation from Hashem or sometimes I feel like God is separating himself from me. God is judging me. Sometimes I have that feeling. And the the idea here is that focusing on the fact that no, there's a love that Hashem has for me. There's a love that I have for my spouse, for my children, for those around me, that relationship is paramount. By focusing on that, by focusing on the broader picture and remembering it, it's hard to remember it when one's in constriction, one's, you know, inside that moment of anger or or uh emotion, but to to remember that to take it to heart and to to pause and say, "This is going to pass. I'm going to get through this. I'm going to get to the other side and and remember that that that's going to happen." And so by focusing in on that way, so we have an opportunity to indeed be able to hold on to that broader that broader picture and be able to draw it down into where we are when we're in constriction. So it's hard to see the broader picture, but we can we can pause and we can let go of the emotions. We can stop and we can remember who we really are, what we really want and what our commitments are. I want to bless you and please bless me back. should help us to indeed be able to have that broader vision to be able to do what it takes as Omaha Palis's wife did to be able to do what it takes to hold on to our commitments to hold on to what we know to be true even at the times when it seems like it's not so easy to do that Hashem should help us to be able to hold on to that and Hashem should help us in all of our relationships with those around us with our spouses with our children with Hashem thank you so much for listening. Have a wonderful Shabas. This podcast was made possible through the gracious donations of listeners like you. For more podcasts like this, please visit www.argoldwag.com or search on iTunes Arig Goldwag.