Tu B’Av: When Perspective Reveals the Love

Hi, I'm Arammy Glazer and this is Kol gula. This shabas is going to be tuba the 15th of a and the Mishna says that tuba is one of the greatest holidays the Jewish people have. One of them is tubav and the second one is yumkipper. And it's very interesting because tubav is not a holiday we celebrate like the rest of the holidays, right? There's no kdish. We don't have to refrain from doing any other work that we can't do on shabas and yontiff. But yet it's considered one of the greatest days in the Jewish calendar. And let's understand that the Mishna says that there were six things that happened on tuba in the Jewish history. The first is Pascu Meamus, the end of the death of the Jews in the desert after Maraglin. When the Jews left Mitsime and they were approaching the land of Israel, they decided to send spies in to tour the land and see what the best way to conquer it is, where to start from, it was kind of like a surveillance mission. And they came back to the Jews and they said, "We can't do it. They're too strong for us." The Jews broke down and started crying. And Hashem said, "You're crying now because you don't trust me that I can bring you into the land. This is going to be your day for cry for the generations to come." And for the rest of Jewish history, Tishabove became the day of mourning. Tishabove was the day that both temples were destroyed. And the punishment the Jews faced for this cry was that for 40 years, every year on Tishbove, all the Jews of that generation would get into their graves and some of them wouldn't wake up the next morning. And that went on for 40 years until the last year. But on the last year when Tishbuff came, they stopped dying. No one died that night and they weren't sure maybe they made a mistake in the dates. So they stayed there until the 15th of A until Tub when it was clear that there was no mistake and they entered the land of Israel. Another thing that happened on Tub was at Harug Betar, the Jews who were killed during the destruction in Betar were all buried on Tubav, bringing closure and dignity to those Jews. Now, on the surface, none of these things have anything to do with love. So, why is this considered the holiday of love? To understand this, let's go a level deeper. In Cabala, it's brought down that tub is a special day because the moon is full. Now, that makes no sense because if yes, every 15th of the month in the Jewish calendar should be a yumpt, should be a holiday. And some of them are like Pesak and Sukus on the 15th. But why of what makes this full moon so special? And even more so, what is the significance of a full moon? A full moon just means that the angle that the sun is shining on the moon can be fully visible from earth and you see the moon as full but the moon always has a side that's always lit up fully. So why does it matter that from our perspective we now see a full moon? So this is the secret and this is going to tie everything together beautifully. The Rambam says in Mishna Torah that all the fast days in the Jewish calendar are going to be holidays are going to be when Mashiach comes as it says These days of mourning and fasting are going to turn into holidays and days of celebration. This chabas we're going to read off door of nakamu ami. Why does it say twice nakamu? Nakamu means I will comfort you my nation. But it says twice I will comfort and comfort you my nation. What is the difference between comfort of a human being and the comfort of God? When a human being does something wrong to another person, he can ask him for forgiveness, but he can't take back what he did. But with God, he's our father and he only wants our good. Which means everything he did for us that we think is negative, we're going to see the comfort and we're going to see why it was good. The garra brings a beautiful story of Nakim is gamu, a famous story. Nakam was on the way to the king with a mission from the Jews and he brought along a chest full of treasures as a gift to the king. He stayed on the way in a motel and during the night the owner of the motel stole all the jewels and he replaced it with sand so that when he lifts up the the chest he should feel that it it has weight and he should think it's still in there. Nah opens the chest and sees the sand and he decides it's all from Hashem. In his words also this is for the good. So he decides he's going to go to the king and he's going to give him this box of sand. He gets to the king and the king opens it up and sees sand and he says, "Kill him." Who does he think he is making fun of the king? Elon Nav'i comes to the king then and says, "This sand is special sand. It's like a Venina sand. If you throw this sand on your enemies, it will turn into arrows and they will all get killed." The king says, "Yeah, let's see." He tries it. He tests the sand and it works. The king gets so excited and he not only accepts the gift, but he returns him a gift full of treasures. And at that moment it was clear that it really was for the good. If Nakam would have shown up to the king with the original treasures, the king may have said, "I don't need these. I have more than you can give me." But he came with a unique gift. And that was a clear revelation of Gamu Lova where Nakam saw that what he thought was the worst turned into the best thing. Sometimes when something seems like it's the worst outcome, really it's the best one. And you just have to wait for the light to be revealed. So just like the historic event when Klis was in the desert and it took till Tubal for them to see that Tishab was the day when they stopped dying when Mashiach comes we're going to see that within all the pain and all the struggle and all the terrible things that happened in Jewish history there was light hidden in there and that's what it says in Kabala that tub is so special because of the full moon. The full moon lightens up the fact that the moon was also full on tishov it was previously full you just couldn't see it. You didn't see it from the right angle. But when we see it from the right angle and the time will come and we'll see all of Jewish history from the right angle, we'll understand how it was all for our good. Now, what does it mean that tub is the holiday of love? What is love? When you ask someone, do you love your wife? They say, of course. What do you love about her? Say, I love that she cooks for me, and I love how she makes me feel, and I love how I feel smart and respected by her. If you think about it, all these things you're listing are you. They're all about you, about how you love yourself, and she happens to make you feel good about yourself. Does that mean you love her, or does that mean you love yourself? So, what is true love? There's a story of a captured fish. It was a beautiful fish, and he knew he's going to die, and he's going to be eaten. But then he heard the people say, "This is such a nice fish. Let's bring it to the king cuz the king loves fish." And he had hope. The king loves fish. He's going to pardon me. They bring the fish to the king and the king says, "Wow, what a beautiful fish. Let's eat it." The fish is like, "What? Eat it. I thought you love fish." The king didn't like the fish. The king liked what the fish did for him. Melik says, "The one who found a woman found good." And yet he says also that I find a woman to be worse than death itself. How do these things make sense? Make up your mind. Is a woman good or is a woman worse than death? The answer is [Music] if you're finding yourself and you're looking just for yourself. You're self-centered. You're focused on what the woman is bringing you, she will be worse than death. But if you focus on the other, if you focus on your wife for who she is, you will see the good. T of is the day when Hashem says, "I love you for who you are and I accept you for who you are and I forgive you for the distance and I forgive you for everything you did wrong." And that's why we don't have to say because the forgiveness comes from above. We don't have to beg for it. Hashem says on Tishabove, we went all the way down. But on Tub, I'm bringing you all the way back up. Tub is the day that he forgave the Jews in the desert. Tub is the day that Harug Betar got burial and dignity. Tub is the day when Binyammon was forgiven for Bilagiva and got to rejoin Amisra. Tub is the day when Hashem says, "I just want you back. This is love. Real love. This is gula. No more jealousy. No more competition. No more distance. Just connection." And that is the connection between tuba of the holiday of love and gula. Thanks for watching. [Music]