Knowing the Secret of Adar - Rebbetzin Avigial Gersht

[Music] okay so last class we spoke about tavas which is the fast day 10th of tavas the walls of Jerusalem were late Siege to then we woke we went on to speak about what's the month after T sha right Sha we have semi quasi holiday festive Day called tubish which is an acronym right not an acronym sorry which is the numerical value of 15 right the 15th of sh that is the did you hug your tree today right it is the birthday of the trees why what happens then that is when after the winter rains are starting to pass the the sap now goes up the tree and the tree is able to to begin to basically Blossom we ask the question why is tubish Right In in the dead of winter right it usually falls out between January to March somewhere there do if we're going to celebrate the birthday of the trees right like do it when in April May June when it's like wow look at this wonderful tree right the same and we answer by saying it everyone with me we answer by saying the same reason we celebr celebrate Roes the new month when the moon is a teeny teeny teeny right Crescent that's all we see a tiny tiny sliver in the darkness of the night so why are we celebrating rosesh which is this week because in Judaism it's not about the result now we can celebrate the birthday now we can celebrate the birthday of the trees why because the tree is amazing now we can celebrate rodes why because the moon is full no right we celebrate when a baby is born for the potential of this child we celebrate at a wedding not the 50 year anniversary right because of the potential of this couple and tubish is about actualizing our potential ad comes from the word ad which means ground right you don't see what's buried underneath right and we all have our job is to break through that hard Cold Soil and actualize oursel as opposed to an animal which is a be which comes from the word b what is in it that's what it is what you see is what you get we have uh tubish the birthday for the trees is opposed to for the vegetables we're opposed to for the grains because when you eat an apple or you give me another fruit that has lots of seeds in itan pomegranate right or any other or a pear or uh any fruits you don't know the potential that's inside right you know you can replant this seeds that are in a fruit right as opposed to a cucumber or tomato or a you know barley right what you see is what you get it's about potential actualizing the day okay fine after Shabbat comes Adar there you go Adar okay what do we know about Adar porm are we familiar with this crazy holiday yeah yeah whenever it's like porm every year when it's perm especially since really when I came to Israel I'm like anyone who's secular or non-jewish thinks like must think we're crazy right the entire in Jerusalem the entire city gets drunk like drunk like drunk okay so we're going to speak about perm let's first speak about the sign of the month is a fish right it represents fruitfulness and multiplying the Jewish Nation survived during this time it also uh fish represent s right being covered up there in the water you don't see them mosha rabenu Moses the leader who took us out of Egypt his birthday is the of Adar his birthday is in Adar and he was known as the humblest right of all men and let's speak about the customs of the day what are the the Customs what do we do on Perm yeah yeah write it on the board right Mish comes from the word sh to send so you are doing Mish man people that you like and don't like specifically people that you don't like M man there are four losss this day right one is M which means giving a package of food it is two bras two blessings to one person right but we end up giving 30 different blessings to 50 different people right um M what's another law of the day yeah m means like packages of um send packages which it ends up being like a little you know gift of food or wine and you know chocolate bars would you do so ideally you're supposed to send them to people who you actually don't have the best relationship with right but we end up saying to our friends our family our neighbors people give to teachers my address is 18 H BL third floor apartment 7 right people send to um rabbis or teachers or or their best friends or it's their neighbors right you give to your building right people um it's basically people use as a time of appreciation but really the point of it is to bring us closer so if you don't have the best relationship with your roommate because she always leaves her smelly socks on the floor or you know just have a strange relationship with your best friend from when you're were 5 years old then it's probably a good time perum to give her a package of food there are four laws the second one is listening to the Milla right Milla is translated as a tractate or a something like that we know what a Milla is yeah it's no a Milla is um it's a story that's what it is uh it's a story but the actual translation for I forget but we read the Milla which is we read the story of Esther which is what we're speaking about today the third Mitzvah is having a meal called just UDA and the fourth one is money to the poor money to the poor sorry for the bad handwriting okay okay so these are the four mitzvot of the day and I'm just giving the basics then we'll go into it okay the setup of porm is that you have a fast day on the 13th of Adar this usually falls out around um March time right you have a fast Day called tiny Esther one of the six fast days the fast of Esther on the 13th of AUST the 14th of a is the holiday of PM where you do these four Mitzvah right but like everything in Judaism which is more complicated right in Jerusalem uh we keep the 15th why do we keep the 15th for us PM is the 15th of Adar for everyone else it is the 14th so people in Jerusalem really people in Israel usually celebrate like two days if you're in Jerusalem you go outside Jerusalem for the 14th and come back here for the 15th right so people usually sell often celebrate two days the reason for that is because the 13th they fasted because they were going to be destroyed we're about to speak about it right and the 14th the 13 the 12th they fasted the 13th they fought and the 14th they rested that's why they have perm then right and the 15th day the Jews in shushan the Jews within Persia itself asked King aash The King if they can have one extra day to fight and that's why we have it in Jerusalem on the 15th because that's when the Jews within the walled cities actually stopped and rested was that clear okay another custom of the day is wearing costumes we dress up it's not a Jewish Halloween not at all but we dress up on Perm any idea why like why are we putting costumes on and getting drunk yes has to do with the story of es and how wasn't mentioned once M so there's an element like way yes thank you so costumes are just like God was hidden his name's not mentioned anywhere in the Milla so too we hide ourselves right costumes putting on a mask is throughout the year we often have many masks that we wear the mask of superficiality the mask of materialism the mask of self-containment I don't need anything right the mask of busyness I'm too busy I'm too distracted I don't have time for anything right comes pum we're saying I am taking off that facade I am taking off that mask that is not who I really am and I'm putting on a real mask right this mask is to cover me up right the mask the facade that I put on all year that's not really me it's much easier to hide behind a mask than it is to actually be your true self why takes away respons sher's responsibility right it's not me I didn't do this they were learning how to be true right they didn't grow up authentic right so they're just used to covering things up right but on porum God is telling us you have the mask of self-containment I don't need anyone I'm self-sufficient I live by myself I'm independent Hashem is saying send send m to your friends to your neighbors to your colleagues you do need people right we're saying the mask of busyness I'm too busy I'm too distracted I don't have time for I'm sorry I can't talk right now God saying sit down right have a meal have a suda with your friends with your family the mask of no amuna right we wear a mask of God you're not in this picture at all I don't see you this world is a dark place I'm putting on a mask between me and you cuz I feel like you're wearing a mask comes perm one of the four mitv of the day is to read the Milla right which we're going to speak about right the Milla is the whole story of God being covered up but really he's there the entire time okay what is the basic story of perm there is this King named aash veros he is the king over 127 lands and he throws 180-day party for all of the people in his land right and then he throws a smaller party for the people just in Persia in his own little Hometown right at that party they're getting a little carried away they're getting a little drunk PS the Jews went to this party party and he says I know let's bring my wife vashi to come to the party right so says the gar he asked her to come undressed and she said I'm not coming undressed but as my child's my three-year-old daughter's purm book says he asked Queen vashi to come with her crown no I have pimples she said with the frown right he say that she said I'm not coming to your party I have pimples or I have a tail right and she refused to come said a woman defies me what do I do with her say advisers kill kill her that's a great idea so he kills vashi and then the next day he woke up and he said lonely I am so lonely I have nobody and so he went for a the first Beauty um campaign pageant right beauty pageant and Queen Esther actually didn't want to go right she said I'm not going like a Jewish woman doesn't just go and flaunt her stuff right she I don't need to go but every single woman was obligated to go and she went she did not get dressed up she did not put on makeup up she just went herself obviously the divine plan was aash would choose her and he chose her to be his wife which was a hor just horrible right and she was married to him along the way there's this man named hamon he was the governor the assistant to King aash and he would walk down the streets and everyone would bow to him came this Jew with a beard and said Jews don't bow to anyone other than God and he says You must bow to me every day he would walk by and every day morai wouldn't bow he got so upset this is called by the way the hamon syndrome right you can have the entire world bowing to you one guy doesn't bow and you're not happy right like it destroyed him right so the entire world bowed except for one guy he was upset he went to said you know King hi King dear King there's this nation they're kind of like really you know we don't really need them so much do you mind just signning this little waiver that we can kill them all and he said sure no problem and he signed it okay along the way the king is sleeping one night and let me rephrase that the king is trying to be sleeping and he is not and he hears some noise in his Courtyard he said who is there and hmon was there and he said hamon what are you doing here he said you know I'm just walking the king said well you know I was just flipping through because I'm trying to fall asleep so I was reading myself a story and I'm flipping through my book of remembrances where he writes down all these little things that happened to him and in it there was a story of King of Mori right who was the leading Torah stage at the time there was actually he actually saved A's life one time two of the officers were planning on killing were plotting to kill aash um Mori heard this and he saved aash vos's life and as aash veros is reading this book he says we never rewarded him oh my God what do we do right what do we supposed to do and it reward him so he says more ham hypothetically speaking if there was someone who's a really great guy who who the king loves and admires how would you reward him for doing a great deal in Muhammad's like well um what you do for me I mean for whoever this person is is I would probably give me I mean him the king's clothes right and then I would put me I mean him on the king's horse and ride around saying this is how great ham is I mean this person is right to the king so says great do that to Mor the Jew Mori the Jew but the king said he had to do it and morai is put on this horse with the king's clothing and hamon is dragging him through the streets saying look how great right morai is after this happened you can imagine how much more Furious he was and his wife CU you know the wife is one who gives great advice and the wife says why don't you build Gallows and to hang Mori on hang morai and hang the Jews on these Gallows right and he says that's a great idea and they built these Gallows let me just finish the story that I'll get to you back to the story The King s Miss wer the Jews were all everyone in the world is allowed to attack the Jews on this day the 13th of ADA they were going was going to be a massacre right a genocide and Mori goes to Queen esta and he says this is why God put you here you were married to this king who wants to be married to this King right so you need to save a Jewish nation and she say okay in the meantime Mori and everyone goes out and they fast for three days Queen Esther goes to the king even though she was not summoned she risked her life and she said whatever you want my dear princess until half of the Kingdom I will give to you right she I just want you and hamon to come to to a nice Feast that I'm preparing for you he goes sure H was all excited him the king and his wife a dinner she prepares a feast and he goes my wife what is it that you want I just want one more meal with you okay so the three of them come again the next meal and he says my wife what is it that you want two meals and she said there's someone that's trying to destroy me and my people who's trying to kill my wonderful wife him and she points to hamon and the king is furious he gets up and he goes for a walk in his Courtyard as Destiny will have it ham is pleading to Esther please don't kill me don't tell him that it wasn't my fault I didn't realize you were Jewish and I wouldn't have done that if I knew you were Jewish right and he falls onto her lap and then right then aish walks and he says it's not enough you're trying to kill her you are trying to sleep with my wife in my own Palace and he says I'm going to kill you and as Destiny will have it once again he was hung on the Gallows that he made for Mori then the Jews celebrated what him and his 10 Sons thank you yeah him and his 10 Sons were all hunged what's interesting about the entire Milla is that God's name is not mentioned one time in the whole story hashem's name isn't mentioned right it's a true story he's nowhere to be found yeah thank you right whenever it says M it's referring to and if you read the story when it says the king is referencing God that's what we're getting to where is the story where is it it's in in the writings right we have tan so inim in the writings isim is Psalms is the migil r is migil Esther okay so God's name is not mentioned one time where is he unlike Passover which is the month right after PM where God is everywhere the 10 plagues the splitting of the sea the M from Heaven the water from a rock right peram nowhere Darkness it seemed totally like nature but we all know there's nothing natural about nature it seemed to be just what are we going to do we're left alone right in the darkness is where they found God it is likened to a woman who she receives a wonderful beautiful bouquet of roses on a Wednesday afternoon what would you do you're a married woman you receive a wonderful bouquet of roses on a wed Wednesday afternoon who do you call H your husband we hope so right unless you have many other by the ways on the side right so what do you do if you have many by the ways others on the side you throw those in the trash right right if you call your husband say sweetheart thank you so much for the Roses what roses what are you talking about right what are you talking about what God did on Perm was he sent us a bouquet of roses with no name on it you guys are going to be killed you're left to yourself I don't know I'm not in the picture my name's not mentioned in Milla right and what are the Jewish Nation do they went out and they cried and they said Hashem but I know it's all from you how did they get to that point there's something called an emotional bank account who whether or not we are aware of it we have it with every relationship in our life right so for example a husband and a wife they have this emotional bank account I love you you're so sweet thank you for washing the dishes okay I just deposited five bucks into his bank account right and then the next day I made him lunches and I took care of him another 10 bucks in his bank account right his bank account is pretty full and then we go through a rough patch right there's some withdrawal that needs to be taken right I need to take out money from the bank I need to tell you something that's hard for me that will be hard for you too but there's money in the bank account right so I can give there's money to take out what happens when you in the deficit to begin with there's no money in the emotional bank account well then when you're withdrawing on nothing the Jewish Nation had the emotional spiritual bank account with God are we all together they had this bank account with God and and therefore when God's name isn't mentioned anywhere and I don't know what's going on them we're all we're going to be killed who' they go to to God cuz he's backed them up many times before it's no different now they sent we received a bouquet of roses we didn't know who they were from we went straight to God because we didn't have those boyfriends on the side there is a true story this guy named Eddie Jacobs who was from the Lowery Side in New York and as a child his parents moved him to Kansas City right like way to go parents right they moved him to Kansas City and he met this boy there his age his name was Harry and they became good friends and they grew up together and they even did uh military service together and while while they were in the military they even went on to they said we when we finish the military they fought in World War I together when we finish the military we are going to open up a business together they opened up a bu when the war was over they opened up a clothing line the business failed Eddie went on Eddie Jacobs went on to be a traveling salesman and Harry took a different turn and he became Harry S Truman the president of the United States fast forward 1947 1948 the Jewish Nation needed backing from the other countries right to help them Proclaim Israel as a state right we are official state 1948 that's our birthday right and no matter what nothing was doing Kim whitesman who was the president of Israel right wanted to meet with the president of the United States Harry Truman and nothing doing all his officials did everything they can to block Jews from meeting the president they didn't want Israel to be a state and they were they remember there was this guy named Eddie who happened to be who happened to be friends with the president when he was a child they reached out to they said can you speak to the president he he called the president and the president said my buddy well you sure you can come over and official said don't why you don't well you're a busy man he goes my friend from childhood Eddie uh Eddie the one from the clothing from the military from high school Eddie I got to meet him he shows up at the office and he says Eddie before we can talk we can talk about anything just don't speak to me about Israel he says okay and as he's walking into his office starts crying and he says what's wrong did something happen and he points to the Statue and he says who is this man he says oh this man the statue this is this is my mentor this is my my role model I forget the name was one of the previous presidents he said he's my everything why why do you ask he said well I have someone who's my everything also his name is k whitesman and what this statue means to you that's what he means to me can you please just meet with him and he says I'll meet with him and they met and America was the first country to pronounce Israel as a state right and Kim whites met with him and he became the president of America right and they pronounced Israel as a state when benan right benan when he wanted to when he was working towards us right in the Milla every single thing can look like total chaos or total perfectly constructed story a beautiful narrative by God why every single thing in every single person in the right place at the right time but God's name is not mentioned why because what's your emotional bank account like with God millot Esther means I guess you can translate mcgilla scroll I just realized that maybe scroll millot Esther means Milla comes from the word legalo giloy right to reveal Milla right Gil Aras means revealing Aras like hidden parts right um M Esther comes from the word Hast H Pim hiding I don't see migil Esther is the Milla of what of revealing the hidden but it's only revealing the hidden if you want to see it that's what millad Esther is okay which is why PES which is the like complete opposite of perm in terms of the actual narrative comes right after purm PES comes right after PM why why you have sometimes couples who are all over each other in public right but in private they're actually fighting like cats and dogs right or it can be either all over each other in public and also in private that's great you hope that's the case right nigla reveal bu isn't always a solid relationship nist are hidden is Right a couple who is secure and confident in each other they don't need to show to the world right like look how great and amazing we look how much we love each other the same way someone who's rich who's actually rich doesn't need to prove to the whole world look how much money I have right when it's solid you're confident you don't need to prove to everyone else when we have a relationship that is hidden and goes through the hard times and when you have that heavy discussion with your husband or your boyfriend and you Trek through the mud during the challenging times you will be Z you will Merit to have the fireworks the Sparks that relationship right PES came right after per if you attach yourself to God during the hard times during the darkness right then you will see God in the lightness you will see God in the clarity any questions so far yeah H so why come after why does PES come after perm I mean chronologically that's when the story happened right but because PM was God tests US during the dark times right things weren't making sense but who did we go to right away God amuna like we know it's from you right and when in a relationship you cling to each other you have that connection and dedication you will be Z right to have that revealed rainbows and butterflies and fireworks right the Passover PES isn't is all fireworks and rainbows and butterflies and the sky is shining bright and the birds are singing right that's what PES is right the God took us out miracles in front of everyone the entire world the sea split man food was coming from heaven we drink water from a rock of course it's God is there any other option right we saw the 10 plagues in Egypt that's clear you have to be crazy today it's not God comes per right he's not anywhere right but it's when you see him in the darkness that you see him in the light is that clear okay pain is an impetus for growth right we know that Ham's pain pushed us straight into hashem's hands pain is what pushes the baby out right without the pain you don't get the baby but why do we get drunk on FM let's deal with that why are we getting like wasted on Perm like to um to unveil your initions rself yes bring out who your essence is who you really are right it says you're M right you understood what the T tells us which is which means wine goes in Secrets come out right you you let go of your inhibitions of I'm not good enough I'm too scared I'm fearful right and like you can just be you yeah oh no sorry an idea how like you're notos to know between like good and bad on that day something yeah you're close to it thank you that's what we're going to speak about next yeah thank you right says the T of this Wild Thing you drink mind you if you're someone who gets drunk and you're like sitting on every guy's lap and doing all sorts of stupid things and like yelling and screaming drinking is not for you that's not what it means it's for when you know the Inner Essence and the goodness comes out the toas says this Wild Thing a person must drink on P until he doesn't know the difference between AR ham and which means you should drink until you don't know if you are saying cursed is hamon and blessed is Mori right hamon was a bad guy Mori was a good guy right soar saying drink until you're so drunk that you're like wait wait is ham the good one and mor is the bad one right Mor is the cursed one right what is it talking about that's like saying God forbid blessed is Hitler may his name be erased and cursed is some other great Rabbi who you know are rabbitson what what are you talking about any ideas why are we drinking till we get to that point um to like celebrate the fact that we exist and that to like forget the fact that we almost died you know so that we can fully appreciate the fact that we exist that's a nice idea right it's like so drunk like I don't remember that trauma like that that's a nice idea um could be another idea is we're in the physical world right we see things very finite God is infinite I don't see right now how it's good that I'm having money troubles or my boyfriend dump me or I didn't get that job or I got rejected from that University I don't see how that is good don't try and tell me that it's good right however Ham's pain Ham's persecution us almost dying that pushed us straight into kades Bar's hands right we we went straight to hasem it it strengthened our relationship but I can see how that's good what is the G say get to a point on PM where you are elevated above the physical uh realm right above the physical world right I'm not so grounded so to speak where I can see right that there was a little bit of blessed is hamon and cursed is Mor what does that even mean ham brought us closer to Hashem and very quickly we we're running out of time but I'm actually I'm not going to go there it's too it's too much and I want to go to the next thing but why are we getting drunk until we don't know the difference between the two so we can lift ourselves out of our physical body and only then can we see oh now I understand why that hardship was good right but when I'm in the physical world when I'm so grounded I don't see that it's good but when you're drunk when I'm drunk when I'm lifted above right meta then I can see more clearly we're all together okay which is why a the month of pum is the same letters right in Hebrew is the same letters as an IID can be used for God an hasem I am God your healer right but God is usually used for a hey or a y can also be used but it's not usually exactly is even when you don't realize that the dollar that that whatever it is that's happening in your life is Hashem is God Adar is the same letters as Alf Dar God what does Dar mean what does dra mean dra you live in Dr apartment thank you right a is an apartment Dar means live Dar means dwells right Al Dar right God dwells God is with us even when I don't see him because his name's not there anywhere even when it's so dark and things aren't making sense right Al is always Dal which means the poor person right tell him it says God is with the Dal God is with the poor alar is God is with us let's finish with this last point which is there's actually a few more things I want to speak about right Y is y like like like per that's what yum Kipper is maybe next class we'll speak about the similarities and the differences but we'll end with this says m no yeah okay some of you so which means whoever enters that's like the perm song right like an entrance right whoever enters should increase in happiness how can you command me to be happy in of which is approaching soon which is the month of both temples being destroyed and many other tragedies right it says whoever enters of lowers their happiness but it tells us how in a it says you can't drink wine right during the nine days you don't drink wine you don't eat meat right on Tish you don't have marital relationships right during the month of of during those nine days right you don't you don't uh do a lot you don't have weddings or S CL right what does it say about perm to get drunk God M whoever enters you should increase in happiness how to get drown like so so I was right the whole time like I don't need these like AA meetings right like wine and alcohol brings us to happiness you're not telling me how to increase happiness how can you tell me what is the Tom really telling us whoever enters knowing the secret of you will increase in happiness you don't need to tell me how to increase in happiness if you understand the secret of AD what's the secret of Adar like we just said God is here God is here alar God is here God's right with us Al God has a DEA God has an apartment God is dwelling right here and when someone lives their life with the knowing what Adar is with knowing the secret of perm with knowing that even though he doesn't seem like he's anywhere and I'm all alone in this crazy Big Wide World right and life feels like a movie but I know there's something bigger going on here I'm not sure what but I know there's something bigger going on here you will automatically right what leads people over the edge they're alone I have no one no one will notice if I don't show up to school tomorrow what's the point of my existence right whoever enters knowing the secret they will naturally increase in happiness any questions on this have a wonderful day [Music] ladies