KLM: How to Tear up the Decree and Lets All Do Teshuva Together with Rabbi Asher Baruch Wegbreit

[Music] welcome to the members of Y and others on YouTube and the people are joining us live um tonight's share is for my for my father uh who I lost just about a week and a half ago um okay we're going to open up this is going to surprise you maybe we're GNA open up with song Jewish song prayer now anyone who knows how I sing this will not be very uh joyous but song is amazing because it it connects your heart but it's sometimes the the tune the niggan the melody it gets your heart going and your mind just going like in a in a cage your mind's not there and I I always kind of tease about this with shabas songs you know there there's a shabas song about observing shabas and says um when you observe when you observe shabis Hashem protects you beautiful words right so it goes with a song and it has this like kind of little kids sing along feeling to it n n99 and I so one of the paragraphs that people just sing like sweet little children is this it goes umit what are they saying when you profane on chab in the end you'll get spiritual exis 999 it's not meant to be a sing song those words are really penetrating okay that's not meant to be that way so I have one for you one of the most moving parts of Russia Shana and also yipper is Nana to right so what happens and everybody in the shaw at a certain point in the sonoka yells out like this chance the following [Music] shouting it out bellowing the sometimes the the shore will be shaking right and what are they saying they're saying repentance prayer and charity tear up the evil decree okay so you know my kids after a good rashash and the Yeshiva this R room they're like going through these niggin you know every chabas you know it'll be in the middle of Adar and Chua but it's it's meant to be serious okay now that's Point number one about the song The meaningful beautiful song you you have your mind has to align with your heart when that happens but even uh a bigger Challenge and this is going to be a key thing tonight because I want want us to really succeed and I think with hashem's help we have an angle okay so here here's the challenge when you say Chua to filo to let's say you're not just singing it but you're focusing on it and you're declaring it tears up the evil decree it's not really the evil the harmful decree so the problem is when you say that you feel like by reciting it you're tearing up the decree you hear that CH and you feel like right you feel like you've accomplish chuba no you haven't we haven't yet it's a message to be taken seriously and applied okay you hear that so pay attention that when you're saying that you're you're you're reciting a formula that's incredible but you're it doesn't count as chuba you hear there's more to do and that's exactly what we're going to talk about tonight okay so that the the gamor where does that come from chuva teila tear up the harmful decree the reason I changed it's not evil really okay evil is something when man uses Free Will poorly and he does chooses evil that's evil but this is the who wrot who's who's making the this decree it's the King of Kings it's Hashem and God forbid no evil comes from him okay so the word uh ra ra means in this context the harm okay there's going to be uh yeah you could ask me on that but let's just go with it we know that um and this is by the way huge focal point of of showing you believe in Hashem okay this is a biggie what I'm about to say is the more we take seriously that between rashash Shana and yum Kipper the entire year is go is going to be decided For All Mankind right we know there's been some horrible na natural disaster natural disasters recently right again the Jew believes that Hashem had made this decision between rashash Shan and Y hipper that's why these days are very very big and very very important okay so let's see the gamar actually explains this is the root I think of that Nan Toth and it uses different language it expresses it different it's very important to understand okay it's like this Revit says this is in gamar rashash Shana 16b okay the the amore makes the following claim there are four things that cause Mak not not removes M gazar the languages is follows there are four things you can do that tear up a final verdict on a person okay now let me explain the context who who came up with the verdict the King of Kings Hashem it the context seems clearly to be about the period between rashash Shana and Yom Kipper and it's saying the verdict had already been rendered and by context if you're trying to tear it up it wasn't a good decision by the court right so that means for example could mean that a person was declared that the balance was that he was wicked okay God forbid or or something like they say a razera something not pleasant was already concluded decision over yet amazingly enough these four things tear up the decree okay they tear it up now we're going to see here's something we also have to appreciate again you want to express um an integrate true amuna in hasem if means that you take very seriously the words of the gamarra the T the oral law which is also Divine okay and we know the statement is deep and true and you'll understand what I'm saying that in a second okay I want to ask you something one of the biggest things we the greatest things about Hashem is he's perfectly just okay he goes according to Justice now the thing is this for him to tear up a decree you know Akash baros couldn't tear up a decree right when the decree haman's decree there was a rule that the um once a king has made a decree you don't uh revoke it you have to work within it okay yet AEM is saying he tears it up now is that a what is that does that does that make sense he made a conclusion now he's just tearing it up so there has to be a logic to that the following actions will tear up the decree Let's Get Down what are the actions okay it's different for the most part it's a little different than n Tov okay all right well okay here we go the language what did we say in the S to CH what does REV say he says shinua changing your behavior changing your actions okay now we know that that's related to Chua okay and Rashi indicates that way but he said sha changing her actions now to that's what it said in the Sonic to but in the R saysa means to cry out to to shout and cry out okay so it's not just you know y it's Saka right we're going to explain this it's not regular old teila it's not regular old Chua if you will okay so te Chua is shinua changing your behavior teila is called in the gamor the one that tears up a decree is isaka that's the type of teila next the next thing it says Saka okay Sedaka tears up the cree so it didn't change the language but we have to understand something it's not so simple to tear up the decree the commentaries let's use the holy ROM in the mission Tor okay he's good for us basically to reconcile a king of kings who has great knowledge perfect knowledge and he makes a decision and he renders a verdict for him to tear it up is that the person he wrote The Verdict against is no longer there it's not him do you hear this then it's just right if the person is himself and suddenly changes because he did some things that's not that doesn't work the ROM explains that these acts have to be profoundly life altering Chang in okay so with that in mind let's explain this let's explain let's what are we going to start with we're gonna start with Shinu Misa yes okay let's start with Shinu Misa um I I saw this from a r of naaru um amazing amazing uh point about chuva okay this is by the way if you take this interum hipper you know or you prepare beforehand you'll really have succeeded okay it's such an important point and it's based on rabeno Yona all right what is the order according to rabeno Yona of doing chuva so at first he present you feel bad about what you did and then you um uh you uh commit to not do it again and you stop doing it right you do vooy right and then you stop doing it okay so re says that only works that order only works in the following situation let's just give a situation let's say a person um he is very careful to eat kosher food very careful very strict but one one one day or night he goes by a place and he smells something it smells so good and and he just lose and someone offers him a free sample so he does go in he doesn't buy the food and sit there and eat it but someone offers a free sample he sticks in his mouth and he's said oh what did I just do right he doesn't do that regularly so if a person slipped up and did something they never do indeed the first thing is oh how could I have done that Hashem I I ate that sample of food oh I'm so sorry right V regret and V do and then he he never does does it again right good but guess what for most of our activities that require Chua that's not the order it's it's absolutely disastrous to approach it that way let me explain say reona and this R vtic just builds it up if you have some behavior that is a repetitive sin unfortunately let me just give some common examples so you can kind of relate as we go through all right Common Sense are let's say making a blessing like throwing the words out of your mouth not making a blessing with um even thinking about aem's name or Etc um listening to Lush andara believing Lush andara speaking negative things um um for constructive purpose even though you're not sure you fulfilled the seven conditions before you speak negatively um getting angry insulting a person um not guarding your eyes okay you hear that list right oh and and also B Torah B Torah meaning you could learn Torah uh but you didn't you did something you know you wasted your time okay all right on that list those are things that we we tend to be prone to do it again and again and again okay so the the what you should not do is first say you know here let's just take an example um um let's take a getting angry okay snapping at someone and they feel bad right let's say someone does a lot so you don't say um Hashem um I feel really bad about getting angry you know I really I shouldn't be doing that and then you're going to work on not getting angry angry no I'll there's a very important reason why you shouldn't do it that way first of all let me just give it as a mush right you have a parent and there's two let's make it two boys you know Rowdy boys and one boy um like habitually is beating up on his younger brother okay I imagine this isn't applicable in anybody's house but well just just imagine so he's he's hitting him right so the um you know he's real does this regularly so you pull him aside say you say don't hurt your brother don't hit your brother he goes okay yeah Dad I'm really sorry and then 10 minutes later he hits him or the next day he hits him and he keeps saying you know Dad I'm really sorry I'm really sorry bam I'm really sorry bam so what's the problem here's the problem and be very careful with this if you feel bad before you stop uh before you make a plan and successfully stop doing the sin you'll feel like you did Chua by feeling bad the regret will make you feel like you did pseudo Chua you hear because you say oh I feel bad but you you don't have a good plan to stop you're probably not going to stop so the feeling bad makes you feel like you took care of the issue and did Chua and and no you didn't right so here's the point shinua right if we really really want to tear up anything negative and bring a beautiful decree upon ourselves if you do something habitually if I do something habitually we have to identify it we have to strategize how to stop we have to have a plan and even before yum Kipper hits start doing it right you know so uh I asked this um expert in the B how how do you work on Lush and you know people read the hakas but at certain point that's doesn't always do the job completely right so he says maybe work on judging people favorably right everybody has difficult circumstances right so always attribute whatever you don't like happening right to they they have a really hard situ I have no idea what's going on in their house right so my my point is this the first way to tear up the decree is to recognize if I'm doing the wrong thing repetitively stop get to work on that then after you've stopped then then you feel bad you know uh he gave an example that I related to you know it sometimes I'm being true VTO no sometimes I'll overeat and on shabas and this and that and I'll feel bad the next you know at night or the next day and it's terrible right so you know what this is just a good example so you know I'll say after shabas the say you know I'm going to eat less next you know this is really stupid that I eat so you know much on chabas right but I didn't really figure out how to stop that right so really what you have to do like one thing I learned it um I saw this video it says stop eating like a dog mean the person oh they wve their the air the oxygen goes in their mouth you know so they said the way not to eat like a dog is toh chew slowly 30 times until it's like a pleasant liquid in your mouth okay so I actually practice that I would chew and I go abandoning the sin abandoning the sin I stopped the action shinua then I could say you know think of all the time I wasted that um because I over a okay especially when it's a repetitive issue okay that's lesson number so the if we want to tear up degree you want to become someone different change your behavior okay all right and we know there's homeostasis you're going to have to work hard okay now let's talk about teila right teila is not just to feel it'sa to cry out okay um you'll notice when you do the caparos there's a tah hilum that is um that we recite before it and it talks about people being in the desert dying of thirst they're on a boat that looks like it's going to C size and this is the source for crying outa it says they cried out to Hashem and he listen so first of all crying out means your teila is is real right if you're crying out to hasem that that's already a level but here's the um thorn in the Ram's tail the thorn in the Ram's tail is Saka is not merely um intense prayer screaming out for help from Hashem by the way keep in mind whenever you do do that it's a Mitzvah daisa to do that okay but here's what I want you to realize that's not enough I'm gonna give you a metaphor and this was a true thing I'm going to give you a metaphor that was um this type of uh um this type of experience okay thank God I'm telling you the truth this didn't happen happened to me okay but I I I I spent High School in Memphis Tennessee and there were people you know that people young guys High School people that would get drunk right on what they called Friday night or Saturday night and you know Memphis is uh can be a pretty tough place so I remember when a friend of mine got uh he he got he was drinking and unfortunately he was driving and he got caught by the police thank God he didn't hurt anybody okay but you know what happened they what they do there if you got caught drunk driving you have to um spend the night in a in a prison cell with other prisoners who are there for things worse than drinking right so my friend said he didn't sleep a wink just to protect himself from not being you know what you hear this so he's given one call right so he has to call his parents and tell them right so what does he say he says Dad I I was driving drunk and they're putting me in jail please please get me out of here please right so he has to he has to fess up he has to V up right so when who put us in this in our predicaments well who puts our troubles it's a shame does he put us there for no reason incorrect not true right we did something wrong what happened to the Jews in in in um Persia right in in porum they done they went to that um celebration of the Bas of MDES party of it not being built H they they did things bad and guess what there was a a genocide decree on them who who made the decree was it Haman who signed on it Hashem so they cried out they to Mori tore his clothes they tore their clothes and they cried out but they didn't just say Hashem please don't let us be killed they said Shem this is our fault we did we're responsible for this predicament you would never put me in trouble if I didn't deserve it that's crying out that's the kind of crying out that changes your degree it rips it up and you're a different person okay because you're not just saying oh I I don't want to get in trouble I don't want to have a bad year this year I don't want anything bad to happen you're saying Hashem please I know I know I didn't work on my speech or my ex and my Y and I should have H you know please have mercy just let me live and fix myself and improv it please please that's a a okay so let's review these things really tear up the decree number one we have shinui Musa you really must change don't don't think you've gotten through chva by a little oh I feel so bad oh right change figure it out work on it get help you can reach out to me I've been working on it with on myself and many people for many years um but anyhow that's chinu Misa and we just said teil means Saka you have to cry out recognizing you're in deep trouble because you got yourself in trouble and you have the one who can get you out you have to apologize for what you did and then beg him to take you out one more one more okay and that is sad okay I I have some news for for you do you notice that um chva is like a really serious work there and did you notice that Saka crying out it's really a really serious effort you have to make right and with with acknowledgement that you got yourself into trouble Sedaka the same thing I saw this uh article explain sedu and it fits with the ROM bomb okay Seda can rescue from Death okay that means includes according to the gamar a death decree but ready here's the hsh will making sure you um gave 10% you know regularly cut it no will putting a few coins in the hands of a poor person cut it no we putting a few coins in the pushka help it no those are all good things just make sure to have cavana when you do them ready you have to give till it hurts here you have you have to reach the ouch the Seda that's gonna that's gonna remove any type of trouble and a horrible decree God forbid that that has to hurt right you have to give till it hurts you can't be irresponsible you can't you know jeopardize your family's income of course but you have to give till it hurts okay forgive me for doing this but I I wouldn't say this but I don't believe it kavana mitus Foundation is a good place to give till it hurts I promise you because you're helping people multiply their Mitzvah multiply the quality of their mitzah now is that such a big deal well it is to Hashem Hashem wants us to have an authentic relationship he wants us present when we're in his presence and we're doing things so uh we'll attack c a link you know if you'd like to to give the but but wherever you give if you really want to take this seriously if you want to tear up and avert bad things and you want good things you have to give till it hurts it there has to be an ouch why why I okay we're hearing you have to be intense why do you have to give to an ouch because again what is the ran basically EXP exp hashem's not going to tear a decree that was applicable right now if it's not this if the decree was issued against somebody and they're just simply not the same person then okay let's tear it and throw in the trash basket so why is giving sedu until you reach the ouch point the till it hurts why is that a um uh why is that change of person because what what is it what's where's it where is it going to hurt it's going to hurt in terms of your comfort your physical Comfort your you know again don't do make don't make decisions that harm your family or you know and things like that I'm not I'm definitely not advocating that however you know you have to if it means maybe curtailing some Pleasures or some shopping or some this you know uh um if that that means that you're prioritizing spirituality you're prioritizing Torah you're prioritizing helping Torah prolifer you're prioritizing helping poor people right that's a priority and your pleasure and comfort is not as much a priority give to it hurts that's the idea that that's what will undo the decree do you hear this okay so that's part one and I just want to um yeah that's part one uh that we're explaining that to really really do it you have to do it like ritak teaches chuva has to be true change of your behavior teila has to be outcry of I am so sorry I acted this way and got myself into this please get me out and I'll take care of business okay and Sedaka give till it hurts because if it hurts it means your comfort is being put aside for Hashem and the Jewish people and the World At Large okay that's that is I'm telling you this is the time okay that that's how we can really affect things and let's not take it lightly you know look I have to take seriously I lost my Father which is a heartbreak in you know I lost my father yeah there there were so many calamities this year right Libya Morocco turkey you know just unbelievable right so we have to realize we have to show asem that we believe we have a Muna that these days are critically important and we have to change in in short okay we have completed the sheer okay okay and I want to share screen the part two and and only if you have time and we're not going to do it too long oh you know what yeah let me explain what we're going to do but let's have our normal questions if people have any questions or comments on this part and then but let me first tell you what we're going to do part two okay I want to share screen I hope I can uh still find this okay where is it um no give me give me one second please um uh here it is okay I I think you'll get a kick out of this but it's also very important um help me AEM okay here share screen uh right [Music] here okay Rabbi Michael do you see this you see my screen you're good gra okay look at this you know they'll do anything to get you know a video that's viral but people know that it's hard to study right and studying is something you always procrastinate on doing right so these clever people have these things study with me promodoro Pomodoro what it is is you're supposed to um spend certain amount of time with uninterrupted Focus so you go on there they have music and you study with them them look study with me study with me I'm just showing you a little glimpse of it right so in the second part after we field questions I'm gonna I invite you to do the following do Chua with me do Chua with me I want to make sure you know reben Yona it's very clear in the 10 days right in the 10 days you're supposed to not do business as usual do what you need for business but it's not business as usual are though there's a national International Global personal emergency right so says rabeno Yona says the mission breu you have to carve out time to make sure you change your behavior you give charity till it hurts you do real to feel it you cry cons the ROM says you have to cry every day so that takes time and it brings us back to our first sheer in L which was h homeostasis the yat uses the quality of homeostasis to make it difficult to just break your pattern okay so my what we're going to do after I hear any questions what we're going to do is we're going to break our pattern if you want to stay online and not study with me do chuva with me we're going to do chuva we're gonna sit here you'll do chuva over there I'll do chuva over here I'll explain how in a minute okay sha or anyone else you have any questions before we go to the next part uh no I I I don't have a question I just want to make the observation that um substantively you really are walking the walk not just talking the talk you really given us a plan don't you've given us a plan to to put into action uh these ideas it's it's great and I'll just quickly share that you know my plan for for this week was uh to try to do a lot of work for a variety of reasons uh Things That Came Upon me were you know thank God good and and other things deadlines and uh Hashem didn't leave it up to me to change uh I my whole world was completely thrown upside down because I was tested positive for coid uh uh found out Monday morning and so I've been really uh struggling with that and uh thanks to your good advice uh you know trying to view it as a part of the Juba process so um you know uh it's much better to elect to do it and to uh to to do it on your own but uh uh then than than have it thrown upon you like like like um it happened with me but it's a powerful experience to know that in a second everything can change and how fragile we really are you know with one little microscopic germ can upend your entire world and really uh in you know worry worry about you know to your very health and safety very good you have flame in Theus of that observation very good beautiful okay beautiful so um there's not anything else first of all I just want to mention to the listeners that um I actually created a checklist for what you're supposed to do during these 10 days according to sh Chua and the mission of brua like the special activities to work on now so just either uh you know send me an email at Rabbi webite gmail.com and I'll I'll get you that checklist just so you'll you'll know um but right now I said we're gonna let let's do Chua with me so if you have time right now uh I want you to uh take get some paper or you can write on your device whatever but but I feel that the most um the most active way to do this is to write not just sit and think okay but here's the thing let's have in mind okay let's not forget that it's about kavana litus we are trying to do chuva right now okay and we're trying to heed hashem's warning that I'm I'm very close says Hashem I'm very close right now and you'd be very wise to change your behavior as we discuss and do all these things while it's in this time period so let's have it Min AEM we first of all for all of you who who just are listening to this year you did that but now we're going to sit so what I want you to do um to begin with is what we call let's say hesbon and neish right so and I'm going to model the process because you know those Pomodoro study with me things they do it for 12 hours eight hours we're just going to do it for a few minutes so because I told you homeostasis is amazing that when you when you go off of this class in this year your regular life's going to take over and is and you might have been very inspired and I'm going to work on this and work on that but you're going to you know look what happened to show oh you got Corona and laid out big time you know you don't know what's going to happen everything should be great but you're G you're busy everyone's busy so even though to take to take out time right now is not a small thing so we're at least going to do it a few minutes but I'm also going to try to model the process that you should do with more time okay so the first thing I want you to do we said that that um regret ret with a habitual sin is a false feeling of chuba so I want it's really important that we nail down this is what I want you to write down electronically or on paper I want you to write down habitual sins okay and again we spoke in the beginning leaving lushen Hara getting angry uh not speaking nicely uh uh ble um B Torah not not praying um with Focus throwing blessings out of our mouth and not feeling any gratitude doing Mitzvah by wrot okay I threw some things out but make your own list okay make your own list so step number one in chuba with me is make your own list do it right now and and I'll I'll come back to you I'm I'm practicing what I preach try to come up with just let's limit it to three okay three things that you feel are repetitive challenges let me remind you and and and uh that there's three categories to that you should be thinking of this is what we said in the beginning of el between you and Hashem right that would be like B Torah throwing blessings out of your mouth between you and your fellow meaning uh getting angry speaking hurtfully listening to L heart whatever okay and between you and yourself let's not forget that because in my humble opinion I think one of the leading I I'm positive this and I have reona behind me one of the leading causes of poor poor Behavior towards others is improper sleep improp not taking not not taking care of yourself uh being too stressed because you don't um um take a break Etc bammo is so important right because if you don't take care of the body and the emotions and the psychology that Hashem gave you the chances of avoiding these repetitive sins are not so good you hear that okay so those are the three categories all right now that was step number one is identify we're in shinui Misa right now uh step number two is let's think if least was one of the three amazing if you and you know what I'm showing you the plan but now let's take one of these three things and I want you to think about how what you can imediately do to stop okay and work on it okay because here's the thing uh um yeah let's just do that okay everyone take a look at these things and come up with an angle all right I'm not saying it'll be perfect but come up with a strategy to immediately stop okay do tra with me I'm not leaving I'm just getting something so I can immediately change my behavior okay I'll be right back only be one second got okay one more one second okay so let me uh um make a point that's so important about this okay what I encouraging you to do and I hope you were able to come up with something here here I I'll give you some examples all right um you know I find and this is a bammo challenge I find that you know as it gets later in the evening I get a little cranky and then sometimes one of my boys comes home from yiv comes home at 10 10:30 you know so I'm not the way I should be with him right and this unfortunately happens repetitively right so that was the thing so how do I stop that right away so I said I I I need to remind myself that I'm vulnerable then I also have to work on sleep and other things but so I I wrote a note that I'm going to put an alarm and a sign right by where I work so I know that because otherwise this going to be an automatic Behavior so that that's how I'm going to try to tackle that okay here's another issue is I have these different you know I'm preparing km and this but I have different um o obligatory learning sers and one of them I I I get so busy I forget to do it right so I went and I got the safer and I'm putting the safer right here and I said I'm not going to bed until I I I I at least learn a little from this okay now what I'm showing you is this what we have have to do is not pledge to change okay fire our up to change and and inspires up to change okay and then get to work and then find it's GNA work change right now okay change enough now that you can actually legitimately feel regret on Kipper and Rabbi Ruben luer said a brilliant point about this he says we have it backwards what what most people do is they muser and and insiration inspiration uh to get themselves to do some change Improvement of their behavior right he says it's the opposite improve your behavior and use inspiration to keep yourself going you hear right now I'm I'm putting myself in the spot live you know so you know right now I'll probably be fired up and I'll work on this and I'll really do some things before you I'm Kipper but you know maybe a month from now it it'll fade that's when you need to inspire yourself okay so we're doing truven now that was part uh part one was was shinui Misa okay now what kind of prayer works oh and I know I parrots do I have what five minutes is that parot okay any yeah yeah another five is good thanks trbi okay so we're I'm gonna finish this uh CH do Chua with me now in five minutes okay so let's not delay Saka okay let's not delay not just praying to Hashem but crying out with an acknowledgment that whatever difficulties we have or whatever difficulties we might come up next year because we didn't fix ourselves right so let's practice Saka the rambam says we should be crying if you will every day day and beseeching um Hashem like a beggar all right so I want you to take um either think of some sorus God forbid some difficulty you're going through or have been going through or something that really pains you now or just think of what could happen you know God forbid in the year right so what we want to do is remember that anything bad that happens to us you know Hashem loves us he's a he's a loving parent and he's not doing this other than we did something destructive and he doesn't want us to continue for our own welfare so my point is I want us to even if you can't come up with a onetoone correspondence while you're having some suffering or some suffering you want to avoid I want you to you know have a tearful um appeal to hasem to have mercy this is re say You' be doing this every day it's part of the process of chba appeal appeal to AEM to have mercy on us that Shem please let me give me a chance to fix these things and please please heal the person I love that's not well or whatever it is or please give us a Good Year please help us to able to sell the properties or whatever it may be okay so so let's let's finish like this okay um let's finish with a outcry it doesn't have to be shrieking but a tearful really passionate prayer for sh to have mercy on us with full acknowledgement of we um got ourselves wherever we are okay okay the best way to end this is with so much love and gratitude to all of you who have been part of the CM shars who've reached out to me who've written me who've made donations uh I thank you so much you know we're trying our best to help everybody including ourselves um have a sincere authentic relationship with Hashem I love you all and I want to wish everybody and all your families aimim [Music] TOA [Music] hold n n