KLM: 3 Daily Habits for Holiness—Simple, Powerful, and Full of Kavanah

Heat. Heat. [Music] Not to offend anybody in this room in the old city, this holy yeshiva, Rabbi Kea, and not to offend anyone listening or watching, okay? I know someone who is for sure much happier than you and much stronger than you. Okay? Guaranteed. I don't care who's watching, who's listening, I don't care who they are. Any any guesses? Hashem. What does it say? We say this in the morning. This is such a if you reflect on these words, it's such a beautiful thing that's going on up there. Okay. It says by Hashem Ova O means power. Okay, there's power and then there's what's anyone know? How would you translate? His name sublime joy. like just the most the most uh incredible joy. It joy isn't is just putting it down. Sima is putting it is like divine level joy. Now I'm dealing with a lot of people who lived in in both worlds and came back etc. And I think say that again what means religious and non-religious doesn't mean I came back. Yeah. I'm not talking about Mason. Sorry. Not yet. So the thing is this only only poor people do that. The people that taste a joy that's a little more spiritual know it's on another level. Okay. And we as Jews know that it can there can be physical involved but the spiritual aspect is incomparable. And the going uh vill says this in Mish he says the he says what's attractive everyone was just talking about lushian horror what's attractive about lushenhor says the villain going you know why people have such a drive towards it because it's an aa that's why they enjoy it now what does he mean I good thank you for that puzzled look why is that a reason he so enjoys it because it's an a vera especially he's a little bit conscious the answer is there's this principle spiritual physics called a vera go goreras a vera meaning if you do the a vera there's a drive to do it again and you feel anxious and unsettled until you do it again but he says the reason lash and horror has the greatest attraction because in a certain sense it's the greatest a vera why because what's the greatest mitzvah Huh? Tomra. No, Tomra. Koulan. So the So because you could be doing Torah and instead you're speaking in har you're given an incredible drive. But he says the other level is when it comes from purity. The joy is beyond belief. Okay. Let's trust the villag going. Okay. So I want to discuss today how can we feel and o andva these are two divine sublime qualities and the good the good thing is it's in our parha so hopefully you'll have a word for the shabas table like safer huff okay ready what what's the way so if hashem has the most joy and the most power but the beautiful thing about our creator And this is, by the way, when we talk about Hashem in any way, we're not talking about his essence. We're talking about what he manifests and bring into the world. Okay? But Hashem manifests that he's our abba. He's our divine parent. And he do you think he wants to just hold on to all the joy and the power? Of course not. He wants us, the kids, to get it. And the way to get it is the first mitzvah in the second part. Oh, by the way, we're in Nerit Israel. So, for those of you in Hutar, is Hutharitz doing double para or we're ahead of them? Oh, I think I think the answer is yes. Great. Only because someone mentioned it. Okay. So, does anyone know what the first mitzvah in the second para of this week is? Yes. Okay. It's paras kadoshim. intent. Look it up now. Anybody could do that. All right. Someone's going to look it up. But I I just gave the other people not looking it up a hint. Hint hint. Julian. No, no, no. That was the beginning. Parious. To be holy. Sorry, I beat you to it, but it's not fair. Okay. Listen what the first part uh mitzvah of the para is. Yeah, exactly. You you Jewish people be kesh. All right. What does it say? It says to you be holy and and gives a reason why it seems because I'm holy. Hem your god. I'm holy. You be holy. I'm holy. So if we'd like to exp look I'm the the first thing is this is you know we know we're supposed to do mitzvah because we want just because we love Hashem and we appreciate him from a like lofty purpose. However sometimes mitzvah that are hard it doesn't hurt understanding what you can get. You know it can just motivate you. That's why I wanted to tell you that there's a sublime spiritual joy and a sense of power that comes from being holy and doing uh doing mitzvah that represent being holy. Okay. So, we're going to go from easy pro. Is that what is that what you were about to say? Meaning, well, you said that this is what you're gonna get, right? Exactly. So I I the reason I'm opening with that is just because sometimes it helps to know what you'll get to motivate you to get over the hard part in the mitzvah. But I'm going to talk about three ways to be kadosh. The first one's actually pretty easy, but it's going to get harder. Okay, we're going to go up in level. I brought an example. Okay, so let let's start with the easiest one. Okay. The easiest way to be holy. What's that smile? The easiest way to be holy doing mitzvah. It's that simple. The eval says every mitzvah is an act of holiness. What's the say on mitzvah that Hashem sanctified us. So let's wait no further and let's let's become holy uh with kavana with intention. All right. What mitzvah are we doing right now? Torah, right? So I want you express your intention that right now we're adding a layer. You all are learning Torah. You know it's a mitzvah. But this is the whole thing of the Kavana Mitzvah foundation. What I'm trying to promote is do it intentionally. It builds the relationship with Hashem. It builds your appreciation what you're doing, etc., etc. Okay? So, everyone say the following to yourself. You can think it. You can feel it. Okay? But just say like this. All right? Aes. I'm learning Torah right now. Of course, I enjoy it. I like it, etc. Makes my wife happy. But uh I'm learning Torah because you command me to learn Torah. That's one reason I'm doing it. And also because you command me to be holy. So I'm learning Torah right now to be holy. Because every mitzvah you do makes you holy. That was easy, right? Okay. But it's it can change the atmosphere. The thing is the Ram Paul explains we don't we can't see that we're becoming holy. I I think I told you a story when I first came. Sometimes others can see we're becoming holy. I had this um I was going to say a bruise. I had a roommate from China when I was in college. uh no graduate school and at the very end of the time period I went over here to Israel became like enscconced in Torah and mitzvos and these things and I came back to the dormatory where we were and the guy looks at me he this Chinese guy very very wise person this he looks at me he goes he was actually he was just not saying anything for a while he was just looking at me and finally said this. He says, "We have a Chinese saying, you can change rivers and mountains, but you cannot change person and personality." But you changed. That's what he couldn't he couldn't figure it out. And in a certain I'm sure the Chinese are right. If you don't have something called uh Torah and kaduca to um you're probably going to be you can sh you can grow you can do all the things but to transform like a river in a mountain you hear so that's kaduca sometimes other people can see it on us you know I make a joke though the Ramclaw explains right now you don't feel it you don't sense you're becoming holier right so I gave an analogy you know Dr. sets the South African doctor. So I Okay, you do right. So I just made this following comments like you know let's say I learned uh well I was kind to the wife etc. and I like I'm starting to feel like really strange like good but strange. So you know I go to Dr. Sets and he says Rabbi let's take an X-ray. So, okay, X-ray, you know, I didn't have anything bad. So, he looks, he gets me, he goes, "Rabbi, you become holier." Can you imagine? It's like in the X-ray shows that you're kadosh. But that's just that's the metaphor. The point is, you won't believe uh when your X-ray in the world to come comes in, you won't believe how holy you get from doing these mitzvah things. Okay, we did path to holiness number one. Very easy. Just do mitzvah with the intention of fulfilling the mitzvah of being holy and you're you're there. Okay, now we're going to get a little more challenging. I just need to Okay, hang in there. I'll be back in one second. I think he's going to give everybody a pretzel or something. No problem. Thank you, Rabbi. Pizza. Oh, I was going to bring pizza, but it wasn't ready yet. You're right on to it. Okay, we're going to holding this part two. Everyone's looking funny. You just wash. No, I didn't wash. Actually, I'm not going to eat. Actually, I'm going to first tell you a true story about the second level of holiness. This one's going to take more exertion. It's not enough to just have intention. Okay. So, this is also a story way back. Everyone's read the book Shuva, the gates of Chuva, Rabenuona. Okay. So, I made a mistake in a certain sense. I was reading that book while I was eating my favorite sandwich. Okay, now this was in California. It wasn't a pizza and falafel like I got here. There's true story though. So, my favorite sandwich had this homemade mayonnaise and lettuce and the the bone was really soft and delicious. Maybe it was an onion roll, something like this. Okay, for me it was really good. Um, so I'm reading it and Raben says, "You know what? Really amazing way to do chuva." He says, "Don't finish what you're eating. Leave something aside." Okay. Okay. So, used to he used to talk about that. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Yes. And we're going to say see that that's holy number two. But but I'm going to tell you the story. So, I was reading it and it was an L. So, I wanted to do chuba. And he says, "Leave something aside." And I just intuitively guessed. They didn't mean like like a crumb. A crumb wasn't gonna cut it. And so I decided that even though this is my favorite sandwich, I was going to stop about halfway. That might have been a little extreme. I wasn't going to throw it in the trash. Let's say eat it later. So I This is This is true. I'm acting this out right now. Is just the thought of stopping halfway. I went like this. My hands started to shake, you know, because I the thought of not eating the whole sandwich, that's how it affected me. Yeah. But listen listen then I just rode the wave. A famous psychologist talks about this when you have the ner these days famous. So you just ride the wave of the desire. So I just intuitively Hashem helped me. I rode the wave and then it was like that. It didn't it didn't have any effect on me anymore. It was my favorite sandwich. The thought of not continuing was um just it made me shake and then I rode the wave and then that that's the second level of being kadosh is to separate from the permissible. Okay, that it's for most of us. Now it it it's extreme to not eat the h half sandwich, but if you don't gobble it down and finish the whole thing, you're holy. That's exactly what the one bun says. Yeah, says exactly what say because if you are a stickler for the letter of the law, thinking you're being kesh, you can end up being a That's exactly right. would just um um tell me your name again because because what Mosha said he's quite Ron Bond. Exactly. Ron Bond says that you could um permissibly have like two bottles of Coke, you know, three schwarmas, etc. No, you didn't violate a similar, but you're like a disgusting person. You're a glutton. A go a glad closure glutton. But here's the point that and this is the thing I discover made. You don't have to do dramatic things, you know. Let's say you have an iced coffee or something. So, you leave a little bit, you know, or you could have water or coke, right? Or popcorn. You have water or coke. And you you you say, "I'll have water, right? Or I'll have less coke." Every one of those is a mitzvah of kadosh, being holy. You hear? But you have to do with the attention. Okay. Otherwise, you don't otherwise it's not happening. Well, you mean what do you say? If you if you were strained but you don't have the intention. Is that what you're asking? I'm going to have a water instead of a comfort. So, right. Otherwise, it's presence of mind. You have nothing. Yeah. Yeah. So, unfortunately, not aware of it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he was you were doing something that is exhibits self-control and wisdom, but no mitzvah, right? Because you could be doing it just to be a guy who's got spiritual muscles and things. So when it comes to learn when it comes to learning Torah even if you don't have intention okay when it comes to wearing even if you don't have intention it's better with intention but when it comes to you know what I could have coke or water I'll have the water times have we heard that that that you know that it's great to have kabana but you know whether you have it or not you know you're still in the you're in the that's the distinction I'm trying to make Ronnie, if it's clear from the context you're doing a mitzvah, right? You came to this place because you know rabbis are giving Shiran, right? That's clear you're doing a mitzvah. If you're wearing to fill in, it's clear. If you're praying, there's things that even if you don't have the kavana, and by kavana just remind you. I don't mean focus on what you're doing. I mean, no, that's the classic kavana. Classic kavana is when you're praying, you don't get distracted. I'm not talking I'm talking about called mitzvah intention to do the mitzvah because Hashem asked me to just to do it as a mitzvah. Okay. If it's obviously a mitzvah, you're right. You you're right. Do it. You know, it's better if you have kavana. But when it comes to things like, you know, you let's say you you come home to your wife and you say, you know, hi honey, I hope you're feeling well. You say something nice. Okay. So that's all that's a mitzvah if you intend it to be. Otherwise, there's many very refined non-Jews who will also say, "Honey, how are you doing?" What makes us kadosh? What makes us separate is that we're doing it as a mitzvah that Hashem asks from us. So it depends. If it's a an activity could be go two ways to get connected through the bond of kaduca, you have to have that intention. Okay? So that's with water. So anyhow, bleeder just it always helps to bleeder. I'm gonna when I do eat this, I'm going to intend to uh not, you know, leave leave some over with the intention of separating myself from what's permitted to to become holy because Shim wants me. Okay. And where is what what is that mitzvah called? Kadoshing to you being holy. No, no, no, no. What is the mitzvah of leaving something over? So well so it so it it is a fulfillment of being holy because the run banan as Moshe said says separating from the permissible right okay it makes you uh is is a mid of being holy there's another thing it's called prehuse okay separation from things like getting a control on your uh desires so that it's a myth of being holy it's also people do it to do chuva It's also the difference between a human being and an animal because a an animal will also eventually stop eating, right? Okay. When it's full. So that's a level. He stopped eating. He doesn't take more than he needs. He just fills his gut. But that's still an animal, right? That's nature, right? So how did you elevate that? Because you had kabon. You made a bra. You're going to elevate that action. Okay. you elevate to a certain point, but to take the human element, the mental element, the kabona behind it with the intention of saying I'm I was full I was full 10 minutes ago. There's no need for me to continue eating. That's what's on my plate. I'll save that for later. That's already a level of that only a human being blessed with intelligence that aes gave mankind only can elevate we refraining from something making that whole it's beautiful but how you don't have to be hungry was asking like you know so we know like I want you to do this and I want you to do this and I want you to do this I want you to do you know what and I want you to leave over a part of the sandwich right you're saying where is that so that is in the words going to know Yeah. So, it is what we're talking about right now. Being holy. It's one of the ways to be holy. We can use your humanity. Right. I I got the beautiful name for it. Where you right? Where is it in the Torah? Exactly. So, you know where they derive it. Also, it's interesting. One of the places where Well, there there is there is a there is something is PA. Okay. That they take the concept from PA that you leave a corner. There's a midrash tan that says this that you leave a corner of your field for the poor, right? You don't use the whole field for yourself, your whole crop for yourself. You leave it. So here we're leaving a piece of our food, but this is to be hoarded. That's nice. To your thoughts, yes, but there's no shear for right that's that's where you become meaning you can leave a minimum shear to be right. Beautiful. Or you can leave something a little bit more, right? And that leaving more is yearly coverage. Beautiful. So that's the thing. When I told you with the the sandwich thing, the original, but the piece that you're going to leave is going to wind up in the toilet. No, no, no, no, no. I'll eat it later. Yeah. You don't have to throw it away. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Wrap it up, put it in the fridge, and you'll have it. I don't want to get a whole thing, but even to throw it away be okay. But I don't want to get a controversy. But ready? I just want to point this out what you just said, Mosha. So I told you I left a lot meaning I controlled myself a lot. Okay. So the I told you there's two things. One is you feel a joy when you do when you become like Hashem be kadesh because I'm you feel a joy but also you feel an o a certain kind of inner strength. I can't tell you how great I felt after that. Yeah. It's almost I just felt so empowered because I access as much as say I access access the human the the shama of myself. It's it's really powerful. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's really you know I mean the the whole idea of it is feels right. Right. Yeah. Totally. Um and Somebody darianed it out some somewhere. Right. Exactly. Right. So that Yeah. And the medish tanuma as you asked. Okay. And the ran by the way the ran is based on midish. I always thought this separating from most ros is called extras is just the ron ban's hiddish. It's there's a explicit midish that defines being holy that way. Ready? Level three. The hardest level. Okay. the the most rewarding level also. Okay. So, uh level three, I'm also going to tell you a story. All right. Um there was a guy uh you know again we're in Erit Israel, we're in Jerusalem and we're in the old city. So, this is a place where a lot of transformation occurs. I want people that are listening to hear that and understand what a special place the old city rabbi kashiva is etc. But anyhow, there was a group of uh I think they're in their young 20s. They were coming for a program uh one of those cure programs. I think it might have been Asia Torah. Okay. And it's filled with, you know, college uh guys uh um and what do you call post college and it's men and young men, young women, etc. you know, and so one of the guys was in this class where there I'll tell you who the rabbi is and give him credit. Rabbi Ari Khan, Rabbi Khan, he he's a teacher on Kish um this amazing teacher. Uh so he was giving a class to these um these guys and girls and he said something that had a huge impact on one of the one of the students. What he said was, you know, he says he's speaking mostly to the men. There will be a message for the women, but he's speaking to the men and he says, you know, um I know that sometimes you have fantasies in your head, like sexual fantasies and things like that. He said, "I just want you to know something that um if you can um put aside those fantasies in your head, you'll feel and and he told me the para, you'll feel a burst of hma that is beyond belief." I mean he says if you can put aside those thoughts and just leave a little space there you'll have a a rush and a flood of hman wisdom. So, one of those guys and it's funny because he was um studied psychology and I remember you know he had shared this you know in his uh uh what do you call it intro to psychology book you know it talked about the how let's let's focus on men first it's a bigger issue like in a in a minute right in in a minute something like 75% of each minute was sexual fantasy It's like like I mean it's um how do you quote just an overwhelming amount of time that young men will be doing that, right? So, but the the the guy heard the rabbi say this and he it's in the old city. The old city, you know, has everybody walking around. He said, "I'm gonna do this. I'm going to try this." And when he walked out of the thing, he stopped gratuitous gratuitously. How you say gratuitously? Gratuously. Yeah. Okay. Looking at women. Okay. He he wasn't married. Okay. But he he stopped looking at women for the sake of pleasure. Okay. And this is what what he shared. Interestingly enough, the first thing he shared, he felt like there's this he'd been slugging along this heavy weight all the time and he felt it released. He felt like a surge of relief and energy and and as the rabbi said, the wisdom started to come and it was so powerful, such amazing feeling that it just motivated him. He kept going and going till till he was married and onwards. Okay, so here's the thing. He's now the third the third level of kadosh that we just described is what Rashi says. See the runban says it's to separate from the permitted. Okay. Glau kosher um glau kosher uh pig shimmy. Okay. But the third level is rashi. Rashi says separating from aras from sexual matters and sin kadosh. That's what's holy. Now the point is this. You may be asking well is it is it a what? Looking at women. Why? That's not I'm not sleeping with my sister. You know what? What's the issue? The answer is the Torah says that you should not be staring at women, looking at women for sexual pleasure because it ends up like with an emission. It ends up in a thing. So, it it is forbidden. It's something that most people never cross over to the other side. They don't realize how much O how much power okay personal feeling of power owes and head how much joy comes from separating from that and I uh yeah please so the lavage version of it that to to think that you will be successful to do that is really folly however there's some what is it called the scafia how do you say the No, no, no. It's an Aramaic word. Scaffia. Okay. So, I'm gonna I I'll look it up. I mean, it's a re it's a real thing. And so, which basically means to transform the energy of whoever you're looking at or right, you know, we always like to say that, you know, Sha Schwarz always used to say that the the first look is on the house. and then anything after that you know you you know is on your your bill right so uh I'm gonna actually yeah okay you try to find it but I hear that the channel and that's I think what that Rabbi Khan was pointing out this person chneled that into wisdom Torah wisdom and his life changed on and on for good I I don't know you know so anyhow you hear so kesish number three is to not look you know to not indulge yourself in something that could lead to that. And then like everybody was talking about before, lush and har, right? Is that's you're holy when you could make a joke that makes fun of somebody or you could because you're upset, you could find a way to say, "Well, this is for constructive purpose." Instead, say, "Hashem, you know, uh, obviously it's pleasurable to do these things. Um, but you say no. And I'm doing it. I'm not going to look. I'm gonna block images on the computer. I'm going to do whatever I can to to fulfill your mitzvah to be holy. Not half. Yeah. Can't do half and save for later. Yeah, that one you can't. Very good. So, let me just review. Okay. uh there I just feel that even though the best reason to be holy is because Hashem said to because you appreciate all he does you love him for his sake alone that's enough reason to be holy but I'm pointing out that when you work on this Hashem has o power and sublime joy right so the more we are like him our aba wants us to get taste the same thing so I'm trying going to motivate us to be holy, to be kadosh. And we discussed three ways to do it. This is just to summarize. The first way is the easy way. Whenever you're doing a mitzvah, right? Like learning Torah like you're right now. Do it with intention as a mitzvah. And do it because it makes you holy. You're fulfilling the mitzvah being holy. Level number one. Level number two, whe when you make the healthy choice. When you don't finish till the end, when you do any sator restraint, don't just do it because it's smart and because of X, Y, and Z. Do it because Hashem wants us to be holy. Have in mind being holy when you do some level of separation from total indul indulgence. And it can be done even small ways. Okay. Last and not least is the the big leagues is you know again I told you vagon says a veras are have an incredible pull they have this addictive pull if you gge oh that remind if you gge your loins and you you look away or you don't look at the images etc etc or you don't speak lush and horror you don't get you hold back from a veras or oras. Oh boy, that is the peak level and you feel incredible from it, you know, just to sell it a bit. You hear? So try it at home, try in the yeshiva, try it at work. Well, it depends on what it is, but okay. So that's that's your word for the table and the miss is to three different ways you can be kadosh and do it with intention to bond. [Music] You see your sh