Ki Seitzei: 10 SEGULOS TO HAVE CHILDREN

this torah class is brought to you by torahanytime.com welcome everyone thank you everybody for coming tonight we have an amazing subject so we have a little bit of a change of schedule this week uh there's hashem tomorrow we're speaking in san diego and los angeles so really at first i didn't have an opportunity to give this year however this topic has been on my mind for a few years and already this is either the second or third year when parishes kissed they came that i pushed off the subject but i couldn't push it off any longer so we have this year tonight uh this week on tuesday night and uh we just want to thank um the sponsors of the shiraman secretary of aram are sponsored graciously by dr zakam umashbach dr zakim's mother if anybody wants to sponsor tonight's shirt it is available okay so tonight we're going to talk about a subject uh sugulys to have children now fertility is a subject that's uh foremost on many couples minds those who have the challenge of experiencing difficulty in creating a family it's a very painful challenge and you know in the beginning so a couple gets married and they have great hopes and they have anticipation and they have a dream of course of raising a family and i think every couple understands doesn't necessarily happen right away sometimes it takes time sometimes uh the couple is young it takes time to develop and so forth but after a while it could become a very painful ordeal and at that point in time often couples experience the pain the uncertainty not knowing what to do should they seek medical intervention should they go to their rov should they go to a reba should they go to a mccubble and i am uh i am not here to give medical advice i am not a medical practitioner and i'm not licensed to do that i'm here to share with you sources in ghazal what ghazal tell us what a young man a young woman could do to increase and to enhance their opportunity their chances of raising a family now these uh statements and these teachings are not only found in ghazal you have to know if it's not found in ghazal then it's dubious at best and it could be much worse than that sometimes a person could do things not only not only does it not help but it could be forbidden it could be prohibited it could be that these are aitsas given from kaikatoma so it's always important to know are they rooted in khazal and are they recommended by the israel all of these tense gulays are skulloys that not only are found in the gemara and ghazal but were offered by rabbikim kenievsky on different occasions and the first interesting thing is did not have one uniform prescription okay do this do this it's not like every time a couple came now we're talking about if a family is waiting to have a child or family wants to have additional children or family let's say they have all girls they want to have a boy they have old boys they want to have a girl all of the above and rakhim never gave one specific answer reuven came in reuven douay shimon dubi levy ducey and they asked him you know just tell everybody the same thing it's not yeah somebody has a headache they take tylenol you know if somebody has a strep they take antibiotics so somebody has an issue and fertility so follow x y and z and said no it's what hashem puts in my mouth at the time so even to know what particular segula to take advantage of so that rib recognized in himself that he was being divinely guided but nevertheless he did tell some of his tamidim that these sugulis are you don't need rabbikim to tell the person to follow this segula they work even if rabhim is not the one offering it this comes from the safer segula right and by every segula it has a picture of ham krievsky doing something related to that segula so for example by the first segula of dhavaning there's a picture of khaim davaning now you might ask about different ones they had a picture of khaim doing that if you if you need to know exactly by the book okay but there are dozens of color pictures of this kevra the stipler the coverable for somebody who just sat in his dial and i was and never went anywhere it's amazing all the pictures that they got of rabbi kanievsky so without any further ado we go to school number one if you have old girls or you wanted a boy that's uh that's something that i guess you could dive in for i mean sure yeah i mean okay the question is if somebody had old girls and they didn't have children yeah yeah you let it down for them it's no worse than vice versa yeah yeah if somebody has all boys and then one ever girl they could have one pregnancy right right there's a question simply once the woman is 40 days into it you you shouldn't dive in anymore because the gender is already predetermined there is a melech on the mishnah that learns you could still but pashtus you don't tash this enough like yes you pointed out okay so um the first school of haying would say is guess what davin pray ask barco many many times somebody would come in a couple would come in and would and of course this is based on what it says in borussia's rabble why were the imagis sora was in akara rivka was an akara rakhel was an akara says the madrish god desires their prayer god desires their conversation like it says the jewish people their backs were against the wall at kris yamsev and hashem the material were on one side and the yam was on the other side and they're basically between a rock and a hard place why harini is narayan desires to hear the cry of wants to hear the tv so now the question brought to you by was there are sources that you should not badger hashem like don't whine don't like don't please please okay now could i okay it's now a good time it's already a minute later there there are so now i was under the impression that you just you just keep on asking you always keep an ass you beg you beg you whine you contort you twist you turn you pressure from this angle no no but but this way but that way i always thought rashi says by the ladder of naftali that leia said i twisted i turned i contorted i didn't give up i pressured that you never let up but nevertheless there are sources in the state of say fair shaven mo sir he brings that a man or woman should not fast and pray for children too much because many people have over pressured god and god said yeah you want a kid i'll give you a kid and the kid did not turn out good and the kid's appearance was very unusual and disturbing and it caused the parents trouble and the shiva muslim says he heard from a sage that sometimes hashem withholds children even from great sadiq and we know there are many great sadiq that never had children because we know that children are not dependent on a person's good deeds children are dependent on muzzle so some people have masoli and some people have mazel b it's not dependent on a person's actions and when god sees that a person's muzzle is such that children would not be good sometimes he withholds but if the person davin's hashtag you're going to twist hashem's hand therefore davin but don't dive in too much not a good idea now to me that's a surprising idea but in the safer orchestra the stipler said that if you go to with sadiq don't pressure him sadik i need parnosa okay you'll make 95 no i mean parnosa with five tens you know that's not going to cut it you know so okay i said okay i'll give you 185. no sadiq ah you know no it's not good enough and you have a bat sadiq i need more the cyprus says don't pressure that sadiq too much what do you want him to do guarantee extra paranosa get nothing good comes from guarantees don't pressure him too much furthermore abraham kenievsky would say over in the name of the him that if somebody does not have children don't ask too much somebody once begged the and he got down on his hands and knees and then the kid the guy had a kid and uh it was bad news so therefore the author of segula oh who clearly is he's in there he's he's you know mamish in the inner circle he asked when they asked him is there a point in time that a person should say okay i darwin i dive in the diamond but now i have to drive myself crazy and rakhine of course answered no caveat hashem so that seems like you keep at it but then he said he had a conversation with rubric and he asked him at what point in time should a person stop davening erekaim said a person knows when they should stop that and as if a person doesn't have the feeling they should stop they shouldn't stop so i guess you need to be a repchaim to know that there's a point in time that you could have an intuition that okay that's the xera but that's schooler number one like i don't know going to the koi samaravi for three months straight and saying the whole tehillim everything i don't know i guess everyone has a different relationship with the reborn so i guess the person themselves maybe has a certain sense how much they did no because you see i always thought and from rashi you see by naphtali leia just kept at it and badgered and twisted and contorted okay that's number one so you say why are we talking about this pasha's ki said say because parachutes say we have the quintessential segula for children okay you you chance upon a nest in the tree on the ground chicks eggs and the mothers crouching on the chicks or on the eggs don't take the mother while the kids are there yes send away the mom take the kids says the madrish there's some midfields that the is written what's this i will give you children so this is not like some kind of uh super mystical supernatural the matter says that's what the pasta means do the mitzvah you get kids rav david luria says it doesn't say vs you'll take the kid of the mother it says vias the children your children you will get children that's the drasha because otherwise you have said you'll send away the mom and you'll take her kids no not her kids you will get children the aku shimani also says there's certain mitzvos that you will be benefit with children and that is the mithra of shiloh kane likewise the several says that when um a person is zorkha to ban him in the skhar of this mitzvah by showing a munna in akkadeshwar who gave us this okay but it's it's an idea mentioned in the hamish it's a torah idea and with it comes the blessing of most of them say it isa now there is but we don't make it for practical reasons now shyla let's say a person already has children and they want to have more children does she can't help yes what now if you do shake again will you have boys or girls or it's it's a wild card wild card kind says you know there's no guarantee on the gender of the child let's say you a grandfather and you want your kid to have children can the zeidus by the way that's probably the most up there i would say the number one question people ask is could you put pistachio on the salmon on rosh hashanah and then number two the second most question is whether a grandfather could do shiloh cain for a kid and it doesn't say any it's not mentioned meaning one okay did it work could we have statistics no no comment no we can't not on the air but but basically rubberheim says there's no no stats we have no information on whether or whether it helps in fact in kuala lumpur 40 years ago now this was written like 25 years ago so this is like 65 years ago in karakaze there was a dove that made a nest in the electric wires and there was a shyla it might be mum and hectare so maybe there's no mitsubishi so they four avraham went ahead and that one guy was coining it he picked it up but he didn't he didn't take the eggs he put the eggs back down and then the mother came back four of reykjavid and three of them were zorka to have kids including rubrikheim kaniyevsky repchaym 65 years ago had his kid dershoch again in fact in the service school of robhaym and it says it in this book so don't think it's in this safer der kim said i had shloima by sending away the dove from the electric wire and kaila so you want to know where ripped shloima kanevsky came from number three inviting guests that's obvious the matters says that there's a mitzvah that matanzhara bitsida are children sarah had guests she had a child the isha namas had elisha she had a child also brought in was like a dry tree he didn't have children but after he planted the beautiful planting that's like a tree of hakras arkham he became a flourishing tree and he had children that's why god appeared to him iloine mamrey the tree of mamre the rabbit says and likewise we find by the the isha namashi housed elisha in fact brings alpisnaya medim is the greatest segula for children who are the two them sarah and the isha namas now like we said last week doesn't mean oh i have a guy who lives three houses down and invite him to my house the guy has 400 worth of food 300 worth of alcohol in his house and now what because he's eating it in your house that's nothing to do with aknac that's just eating with the guy three doors down i'm not talking with someone who doesn't have a place to go anyway and there are a few very beautiful ramasim to this indian first of the maggot of mezrich brings the passage to a kid through your guest or hey zara so many years ago ezra cohen said a remez stands for elio navi here hey stands for him will bring children okay next next to gula the gemara says in babavasa now this gula works somebody wants to have children somebody has children but they want their children to be wealthy smart says okay number twenty rabbi sure ben levy um anyone who frequently does sadaka the bach puts in he will be to have children who are wise wealthy and learned wisdom like it says wealthy learned so those who are ragil in the midst of sudoku and will be zoyja to have not just children but children who are balay balai oysha balay agada and in this book there's a picture of a primeknivsky being into the safeway so here it is okay right over here into the safer ava writes someone who's ruggle in this mitzvah betsmidus will be zoyka to children who are wise wealthy and learned it's such a wonder people go to all kinds of mystics that's the nice thing we call them to get blessings for children and they have to shell out upwards of thousands of bucks and what's the recommendation stand on your head spit wooden nickels do a tumble sauce under the mattress and why don't they just follow what it says in the gemara the gemara says someone who's rugel to do stock of have a gamak take a thousand dollars and put it aside if anybody needs to borrow money you lend them money or you get an item buy an item i don't know what a brisk pillow buy something that people need on occasion and you're the go-to person you have a gamak in your house you'll be zoeka this is the promise of the gemara not some far-off far-fetched you know invented concocted etsa this is the promise of the gemara and so a massimid a coil guy once came to become against he said so now i'm going to open up like a gamak in my house and be busy landing breast pillows all day as i said bitto tyra so should i give up my learning so really i should have put this segula on the list maybe we'll have a separate cheer on it the either the the best sagulla or the anti-segula share reprime said learning torah is always better than any sugu in other words let's say you have 10 minutes should i do this to google or should i learn you should always learn learning includes incorporates all segulas but but the avrik said but the gemara says har gel but siddhaka surabh said amazing thing you know requiem has a book on things that help you remember learning and things that make you forget so gemara says that if you eat olives frequently it causes forgetting so now the question is what's the definition of frequent because this gemara says if you frequently do hased you'll have children brought proofs frequently means more than once every 30 days if i'm said if you have a gamak and you do ah more than once more than once every 30 days you're already connecting to this bracha you're ready activating this bracha it doesn't have to be more than that it's not like you have to do it every day or on the hour if somebody's involved in limara torah that is also a segula for children okay so that is tagula number four the mitzvah of camilo number five and this i remember i was in muncie once i was speaking at a parlor meeting and somebody came over to me and they told me that he heard raphaim kenievsky tell his daughter to do this segula and it worked right away would very often tell people to make abdullah on yayan because the kumar says you'll have male progeny because apostle says and not only will they be children they'll be royal or high rise because it says and this was mama's go-to segula make half dollar on wine without grape juice kram said no not grape juice why now you're allowed to make have done grape juice just you're not going to get the segula why because it doesn't say hamad says now ramosha would say yay in a grape juice is the iron but marshall's a grape juice is the iron so if you enter a maisha or a motion might say make habdullah on graves so if you go to raphael says you got to do it on wine next this one is a tough one actually it's not you know okay you ready school of number six how are the beds positioned the gemara says that a husband and wife their beds need to be positioned north to south so the couple wants us to yeah but the room is too small it doesn't allow could we put it on an angle we'll kind of say no you could put it north to south but isn't the doors yes that might be a different issue yeah i mean how there's a kabbalistic thing that you don't do with the head opposite the door but to get this you gotta you know you have to reconcile all the other factors whatever that age says his bed between north and south will have male progeny by the way there are people today that for a living they spend they're not doctors they specialize in suggestions of improving the chance of producing gender a or gender b there are people that's what they do for a living and they get paid money the gemara gives many suggestions rav david cohen once has a hope shot he once told me about about um a certain how to take advantage of certain acidic or base levels be it asme the gemara says that someone who puts their bed from north to south will have male progeny not only that a woman will not miscarry miscarriages are quite quite uh common and the gemara says sometimes the doctors don't know they just say you know we don't know we don't know we don't know the gemara says put the bed north to south why that's what the shock says yes says the head has to be to the north so it's very easy you get you know they you get a compass you say you have mizrak that's where they daven right and then yeah which by the way is not a segula for this right but that's the gemara again i'm not you have a big list over here you know everyone has different uh the question is even though the gemara says that the zayar says east to west in fact i didn't know this did you know that the chase i didn't know about this in the safer paradise he brings not like the mission of in fact because the zayar says east to west and the ramami panel says to do like the zayar and the melvin pascal's like the zoyar comes the gara the girl says no the zayar means like the gemara north to south says the mishna brewer if the grass says that the zayaki you have to follow the gemara says said east to west that doesn't matter they said he found mr bruce is north to south head in the north i the room the room you know what do you want from me those are the choices the bed or the kid you know the those are the two options that's the segula there's a different way to uh interpret there's an idea that the zoya never really contradicts the gemara that if you you could the guerra always maintained that the zayar could be reconciled with the gemara so even though at superficially at first glance it looks like it's contradictory but there's a way to reconcile it number seven number seven is harrah gilbener harold gilbaner scholars used to pass by the house of abu nagra he saw there were a lot of lights there near shabbos said for sure great people are going to come out of there who came out ravidhibarav and would pass by the house of the prince the son of a lover of shuv he saw he had a lot of uh light he said a great rabbi is going to come from there rabbi came out bottom what light is this talking about says rashi narashabas and their hanukkah that idea but then some say that our candles are just as clear and just as effective um so really um the midsummer is on the woman however the gemara says um for wiki vega because even though the woman has to light it the man is supposed to set it up and start it going says you don't have to do that anymore because it doesn't do anything it used to do something nowadays it's what does it do so behind so you don't have to do it anymore but the bottom line is the man also has a role in in um encouraging the woman and especially that if the candle is lit the correct way and with the right kavanaugh mitzvah it is the schoola for banim tamika in fact then known as was the father of kabbalah he wrote a safe here called contras soyd had lokas nero skanaka now he was someone who was blind he had gilu and this safer is not is not in print it's printed in the back of the uh safer hazikaro in for a putnam he asks okay very nice it's a segula to have children everyone in the world lights in their shabbos in a hanukkah not everyone has banim so he says of course but he says um he says affopi de ruba de ruba yoitsen avo miyuta de miuta zahir in la hadlock if he called pratiha mitzvahs not everybody is careful to fulfill all the details and all the dictu that um you should be zahir in but if you're zahir and all the particulars of hadlakkis number eight to write and to publish the gemaran khulin says on the passage through the fruits of one's mouth his belly will be satiated which requires interprets that if you publish if you write and publish a torah it's a segula for children so the question is that's very nice you know some people could do it some people can't do it not everybody could write and publish a torah so the shia is can you pay for someone else's no it doesn't say that you gotta do it yourself if you you know if you're not into khrushchev get a compass or something you know but in the seifer minhas toida we're from gedarya hoenigsberg who's also like one of the main in-house with khayan people he heard rebhaim say that somebody can write and publish their own they should pay somebody and that's also segula for zara became in fact in the safer lavish chimaya he quotes that there was someone a maesta noira someone who did not have children for many years and they published the safer may rav and there was a tabanim this is the meaning of the passage adam why he said they because nothing to do with it with paying for the book it's supporting the talmud khacham and by supporting you become the tamikacoms like his father and your mirachim on the table like he would be your son so god gives you your own child and he quotes this from falaji he even brings down over here in the uh the new edition of the taisus rid rabbrayam keniewski once uh advised somebody to be involved in the publishing of the swarm of the ramban and there was a particular uh family that did not have children for 18 years and in less than a year after being involved in the publishing of the safer they had a child and someone else found out about it and also they had not have children for many years and they were also zaika to have children through the publishing of svarim i would say maybe the mechanism is as follows we know rubri would also say a school is to pay for the raising of let's say there's an an orphan child if you pay for their development you pay their tuition so you pay for someone else's child doesn't have a father god will give you your own child a safe bear is like a child the balatura writes don't be sterile in torah meaning the prada when somebody produces torah it's like the mitzvah there are many sources one fulfills so if you are responsible to us to enable the us so then god gives you a child as well next one now this one might be the easiest or it might be the hardest it might be the easiest for the man it might be the hardest for the woman okay and that is eating garlic okay eating garlic is a major segula friday night not only is ghula ezra made a takana that a man should eat garlic friday night that connoisseur ezra enacted a takana that you should eat garlic friday night the gemara says baba kameda paybays shayyu shum the arab shabbos why because friday night is myth so therefore rashi explains shum garlic sorry shum garlic um produces more zara it raises the uh count of zera and therefore it helps the man be more fertile and therefore as i'm saying to eat a friday night in fact the gemara says there are five things that garlic does for a person it clears the face it's marbuzzera it kills intestinal bacteria and it puts you in a good mood and removes jealousy so now the question is how much garlic do you gotta eat so okay so they came to the stifler and the stipler would say by the way this type of scene many people come to me for a bracha for children and the cypress is so ridiculous the the gemara says in suffix if you could do something that definitely works and something that probably doesn't work you should do that which definitely works cyprus said for people to come to me for a blessing what's my blessing going to do it's not going to do anything maybe it won't hurt but unlikely will do anything and yet the gemara says there are certain things that you could do that really elevate your chance to be successful in having children one of them is eating garlic now says the stifler eating means halachick eating a kazias or maybe even a kabaya it's a nice chunk of garlic now if you look in the misha brewer the mishabura says that eating raw garlic is dangerous on the other hand if you roast it too much it has no potency so now we're going to have the stipler's recipe of how to prepare your garlic to have a school to have children it says the stifler go and you take a garlic by its teeth you know by its uh slices and you put a little oil on the pan and you get the fire going and you put the garlic in and when the garlic starts getting hot take it out right away and eat it then then it works now might not work right away it might take some time but this is the best segula eat garlic so there's a note from abraham kenievsky that sounds like every jew has to eat like hefts garlic fried no ezra's taco is just to eat a little tiny a little bit of garlic if you eat a tiny little crumb you you'd say but you want to have the sagula to have the school you gotta you gotta eat the whole you gotta eat a chunk you don't want to eat the chunk get a compass or do something else over here now i know i love so much garlic there you go definitely keeps away everything final segula so there's a man in prasha's nyach his name was yakutan the yak don yolada wow one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen says rashi why was he zaika because he was humble and he made himself small so he brings that from here we see that through the media of anova to have many progeny now why does this work why is another school up for children i guess we're dashing his name yoktan like katan so it's like alluded to in his name so they answered what's the mechanism over here say because if you have a ladder you have a big family you could be arrogant so maybe hashem's not going to want to give so if you're a humble then you don't have to worry about that perhaps we could explain as follows we know to have a child you need a partnership it takes three to tango gimmo but someone who's arrogant we know hashem says there's not enough room for the two of us but someone who's humble we know the shrina resides on the person so he's someone hashem wants to make the partnership with so anova is a segula for zara kaya these are tens gulais found in ghazal that as i'll tell us increase a person's chances of raising a family of having children of having banim zucharim of having banim tamidekh and of course nothing is foolproof nothing is guaranteed there are no guarantees in life but these are these items and these activities and these school lives give us the best chance but of course banim is something which is dependent on masu and bane lab and then of course ghazal also tells us an interesting thing that we know binyamin the son of yaakov avinu had ten children but ultimately shivanyama was a very small chevette and dunn dunn had one kid and the kid was handicapped and done with one of the largest of all the shwater so we don't always know the bananas hashem's thoughts hashem's plans are beyond our scrutiny we don't understand the shamayim but as i'm says instead of going after far out concocted activities it's always better to stay safe stay close to home and follow the advice of ghazal and we hope blesses all of claudia israel with zara kayama zara diwa yivsai vadillah you've told me pascame have a wonderful rest of the week we'll see you guys next wednesday cultov you've just experienced another torah class brought to you by torahanytime.com