Kesuvos 57 - Why It Is Considered Znus To Live With A Wife Who Doesn't Think She'll Get a Kesuba

okay good morning everyone here's an and then we'll be up to date the Z said that according to Mayor not only if a woman doesn't get auba is it be but even if you make a condition that you don't plan on giving her the HBA even though Technically she's entitled to the Cuba and she's going to get the Cuba still you're you're living with her as AAS we're going to see in Rashi because she's not reliant on the fact that she's going to receive it the gar says that the sister of R was married to Rya she lost Hera they came before R so he said to them said the name of that the say it's okay because you could keep her two or three years without AA because you're responsible to give theba anyway and the said name like in his and therefore you have to write another says rash anyone who gives less than 200 to a even with a in other words according to a mayor you can't be M against the Tyra but if you do the is B and it's a so why is it be but the t is not effective so if the t is not effective then she's going to get theba so why would the marriage be why would the relations be the answer is she's not reliant on it here also would say you can't stay with a woman who lost herba even though she'll get the she won't lose out she'll collect the as a stipulation ofz however she's not going to rely on it the cuz she's going to say if I claim it the guy will say I paid up therefore it's a living of me R mayor is of the opinion that even if you make a you're not going to give her theba even though the is you'll still have to give herba you can't stay with this woman because in her mind if she asks for theba you're not going to give it and therefore living with her is a so this requires some understanding just because in her mind she doesn't think she'll ever get theba why do the consider him living with her a he'll have to give her theba and he will give theba so why if why in the interim if she lives with him is it's just because she thinks she won't get theba why does what she think affect the reality that they're husband and wife and if they're husband and wife they're allowed to live together why do we say that a woman who why do we say that a woman who doesn't think she's going to get auba is not a live with her husband let's let's analyze that that's how Rashi learns so there's an interesting rashba the Raja asks that from this masma that the reason why you can't keep a woman without a is because living with her is a b cuz she doesn't think she's going to get theba but elsewhere we say the reason why you not us stay with a woman without auba is so that it should not be easy to divorce her in the beginning of that's not the reason she gets it since we say to since he's going to say you only get a L we see we see the reason why you're not to stay with her if you make ay not to give her is not because it's going to be easy to divorce her who we see the reason is not because it's going to be easy to divorce her because you're not going to have to give it even though she gets somehow that if you make a you're not going to give her theba you have to divorce her because it's somehow it's Mas you're not going to be responsible to give her theba and it will be easy to divorce her so you can't stay with a woman witha who it will be easy to divorce but aramar is masma that in fact you will have to give her a Cuba but the reason you can't stay with her is because living with her as a beas so what's the reason what's the reason why her be is it because well it's going to be easy to divorce her so therefore you're not allow to stay with her you can't have a wife that it's easy to divorce or is it because of what our gar says her listen to what the Raja says to me that the and is one and the same the says shouldn't be easy to divorce her the says that her is cu she's not says Me One Reason this is what to say this is what is saying so should not be easy in his eyes to divorce her CU if it's going to be easy to divorce her she doesn't think that he's going to keep her the Raj seems to be saying as follows a woman who the husband makes aai honey I'm not giving you 200 I'm only giving you hund now even though Hally he's going to have have to give her 200 Z cuz he can't make such aai but in her mind he might be able to get away with giving her less once in her mind the husband might give less than 200 in her mind he could he could dismiss her at any time the 200 Z is the only insurance policy a woman has that the husband's not going to divorce her but a woman who thinks her husband's going to divorce her in her mind she's already halfway out the door a woman who thinks she's halfway out the door can't live with her husband it's AER for her cuz that's cuz in her mind there's something lacking in the marriage you hear this if in her mind she's easy to get rid of in her mind she's halfway out the door so the de such a relations with her Z cuz in her mind mind she's already partly not married to him what do you mean she's fully married to him yeah but he might dismiss her easily why because she thinks that he won't have to give her the HBA so the Raj seems to be saying that if in a woman's mind she's easy to get rid of now the L of of Rashi is in her mind she doesn't think she'll get theba but it's still missing a factor that Rashi doesn't point out that's what the was injecting that since in her mind she doesn't think she'll get the HBA therefore in her mind she thinks she'll be easy to get rid of and if in her mind she's easy to get rid of and she's halfway out the door so in her mind she's not fully married to the guy and in that case the rabbi say you can't live with her because it's like there's a there's a lacking in the marriage that's how the Raja understands this suya what about then if she if she's married to a deaf mute or a sha who can't give a divorce so in her mind even though she might not get the F subba but she knows he's not getting rid of her then says the Raja he could live with her because the point is not she doesn't think she'll get the folk subba that's not the main point the point is because she thinks she won't get the folk subba he's going to get rid of her and because he's going to get rid of her she's not to live with him so says the Raja this that or she lost it her heart is troubling her tomorrow divorce and therefore her is but a mute he's not a even though technically he could Bea it's not common and therefore she also is not so in other words if in her mind it's not a matter that if in her mind she doesn't think she's can get the HBA in her mind is her marriage secure or not if it's secure she's allowed to continue with the guy even if theba is lost even if there's a t on the that's how the Raj learns what about in the case of rape that she's married because of the rap well then we the according to the the is for the C of kadan if he can't technically he can't oh of H say what if he's not to get rid of her is she allowed to walk away from him I mean he has to marry her right but what if she says I don't want to marry him she's allowed to say that what about could she say that after they're married already cuz if she could walk away from it do he say the same thing well since he he she could walk away at any time so also no I mean that would be difficult to say cuz then how could he ever live with her but the fact that he's being forced to be with her do we do we make a difference there if he really want to be no he's forced he's being forced to be with me quote unot I mean so do we make a difference there he really doesn't want to be in this marriage being forced to inage yeah he have a gun to his head right another possible approach from the says once the rabbis are and you can't keep her without and therefore living with her is like her like on him that they're only together in marriage with if in her mind she's not relying on it in her mind he's keeping her or she's staying with him violating the meaning the way he seems to understand it really in reality it's not a cuz he he'll have to give her the Cuba but she doesn't really know that in her mind she's troubled about it so in her mind she's doing an AA I it turns out that it's not AA it's she sort she thinks she's doing a because she's uneducated but we know there's such a concept like that that what if a woman thinks she's violating aad and it turns out the husband the old it so she needs kapara so this is analogous to that in her mind he's not going to give her theba and in her mind they're living together BOS I be obligated to give her the because it's a so just because she's not confident about it but if in her mind she doesn't think she's going to get it she's living with him so it's like she needs we can't it's a he has to write it for her so that in her mind she's not violating that's the reason not like the rashba the Raja seems to be saying that since she doesn't think she's going to get the Cuba in her mind she's halfway out the door so there's something like lacking in the marriage cuz the same way you can't live with a woman you're not married to a woman who thinks that she'll be won't be married tomorrow already now there's there's something lacking in the relationship but the is saying no there's nothing lacking in the relationship she thinks she's not going to get auba and therefore she thinks she's living so even though she's not but we can't allow her to do something that in her mind is wrong seems to be saying that the Tak ofba is you need the suin of marriage isos means with auba without auba it's lacking in the isas not because she thinks that she's going to divorce him but once there's a Tak of Cuba then any any lack in theba is a lack in the marriage he says see I don't understand because there is a and just because she's not on it that doesn't mean theba is not there okay so again we're analyzing we're trying to understand the words of Rashi why in the fact that in her mind she doesn't think she's going to get auba why does that make it that for her to live with him it's so onead was the rashba that he hooks it together with what it says in yamus that if in her mind she's not going to get theba then it's going to be easy to divorce her and a woman who thinks the husband's going to divorce her so in in a sense she's already halfway out the door and to some degree living with her is the other understands that no it's not cuz she's going to get theba but since she thinks she's not getting a Cuba and he can't stay with her she thinks she's doing an AA we can't allow her to be in a situation where she thinks she's doing an AA seems to be saying I'm not sure I understand this and how would it apply just because she's not but to what theba becomes part of the reality of so if theba is missing then there's a lack in the and living with her is a next uh Sunday hopefully hasem it should be regular schedule and uh I guess we're caught up tomorrow [Applause] night K say have a good day thank you quick question if if he went b or or he he doesn't have any funds anymore they he they got it got burnt I don't know how how what would we say there mean let's say she thinks he's that he won't be able to meet his responsibility or in reality he can't in reality he cannot well let's say he really or uhuh let's say he can't meet his responsibility it's a very good question you not not being with him very good question good question I don't know the answer to that according to the rash there always stories like the they misplaced like the wedding night right and we pass him they have to write before I think you need to know where it is yeah right went couple went through motion after them or something like that right but according to the rash they're happily married she has she has no thought that he wants to get rid of her just because they don't know where the C is right now K rash would okay they need up I'm looking for my kuuba now there it is um it sounds like if that she can't find it then she thinks uh oh maybe he won't come through maybe he'll say he paid but in her mind she's not thinking that like on their wedding night she's not thinking that for a second the Happ they're happy but the problem is the reality is that if she doesn't have auba he can easily divorce her so in that case she's a step out out of the door she you see in that case it's not because she thinks she's a step out of the door in that case she is a step out of the door so there there it's not because she thinks she is the reality is she is because you know go through the motion of thinking oh but I'm still very happy no the is even if she's not out the door if she thinks she's out the door then they can't live together but certainly if theba is lost and she is halfway out the door cuz he could easily dismiss her it's very nice so they're happy today they're happy tomorrow he'll find someone else okay have a good day everyone byebye