Rav Aron Friedman

i give out to all of you my dear brothers and sisters um i'm overwhelmed by this shabbos i've spoken to some people and feeling the sorrow the pain that people go through it's not easy and it's not easy for me and i want to share something with you something personal which might be that even avi doesn't know first of all avi i really appreciate and thank him for inviting me to come before abdullah simon schneiderk told me that somebody asked him if friedman is also going through this partial because people are very offended they do not like to listen to a person that doesn't have their experience i know it for many years and i'll tell you what he answered and i'll reveal to you the true answer he said i think friedman also went through this part his wife is a teacher and was a teacher of my daughters i had when i was 19 years old i married in brazil to brazilian woman and we had there our child our first child of heart which was born in a heart disease by heart disease by the age of three months he had the catheterization and his brain was damaged he's a nice boy some know him he's 40 years old he lives in a special home in new york challenge he's a lovely child but he cannot add one plus one when this happened it was my biggest tragedy in life i didn't know how to cope with it the first thing i did was i went underground i didn't tell my mother i had the mother in america she didn't know until it was a year i went to live in israel i was ashamed with it it took me years to learn how to cope with this this is eventually the thing that brought me to psychology i tried to help myself and that's the way i built myself two months ago i have working with people for 30 years two months ago i was in a shabbaton like this it wasn't that shy but it's three way three days during the week with couples 48 couples who likely deal with cancer either the husband or the wife has the muffler and with them three days for 12 the last 12 years every year and i am with them talk with them and deal with them try to help my experience with this was my wife passed away 14 years ago she got the mathlete two years she was sick in treatments my daughter was six years old it wasn't easy i have eight children both hashem today all of them are married i remarried again but i had the experience one of my books i wrote after the shloshim my feeling was i have the moral right to write i have the moral right to talk on this issue nobody can tell me who are you i have do i've been doing it since then every year this year i thought um you know it comes again this this vacation it evaporated i remarried burke hashem i live well i'm married of all the children but the reborn shalom has his ways and after human rule my son-in-law was diagnosed with the muscle 20 years old 26 years old the father of two children a baby of a few months so it refreshened up and when i went there i connected to the people and it was alive because i was in the same shift with them i had a sister that left home in tufshinkufjes i was a small boy few people remember it it has been many years since this happened i was a small child i do not remember this exactly but i grew up with two parents who were devastated at the time there was no kasher nafshi no obviously of no advice whatsoever and as i learned and tried to do it when i grew up the first thing was it had to be a secret i grew up with parents that were ashamed were worried by shadicam rejected in some because of this my father passed away heartbroken was a very strong person a happy person but it was heartbroken by having a daughter so close physically she lives in manhattan and so far she had no cashier with us we had no connection whatsoever my mother was a happy person also she always used to say and i tell it to my children i quote i think it's a very clever thing she also survived both were survivors of the shoya she used to say that a bunch of them gave us two eyes with one eye we cry we wanna eye we can laugh she used to cry on the sorrow and the pain she had but she was always happy always beside the punishment accepting everybody so one of the things i learned of it i have in israel they call it pinaka mabalev you use it in english i have a warm soft spot in my heart for those who went off the data i have cashier with that many people in our community i call them up twice three times a year because in my heart i'm connected it fascinates me i feel it and when i heard your stories and when i see and listen to it it really awakens up me the pain that i have the back of my mind so i can tell you one thing i don't know what to tell you especially if you have such a wonderful experience and training i believe i do not have much to add but i feel and i know what this is to apart to a certain extent so i'm not a stranger who's coming to say people take it like this take it like this i know what this is and it's painful and it's not easy even if we laugh a lot of pain in our hearts this is one thing i'll just tell you one other thing i think one who lost most children who is in the family of kesha nafshi do you know who that created the world and knows everything that's going to happen and one of the schwarzenegger bonus loyland that the tuna diwali says what does it mean so the explanation the fortunes say and i saw the villain goon says the says we the jewish people are the knuckle of the reborn shalom and there are so many jews who went off the dairy there are so many jews who do not behave like the rebornish lord our father was and the reborn slowly loves us oif ammo is ruined the ibister loves us so he says this is the swag for the bonus that the nakhla from the bonus loyola even the way we look even there are so many children that went off the their earth and their bonus one loves us and is happy with us so we are a very big family we have very important participants and the ibis should really help that we should see this of the children people don't know there is some software why we have to say yiddish nakas so it says one of the surim of isaf was called nachas was called he says by koiren koirec was called in the name one of alif isaf and that's why he ended this way he says one of the names is nakazu so the brookies we should have yiddish knackers and the ibish is a healthful we should always be able to smile to have calm lives and do the best we could in life life is not easy everyone goes through all kinds of things but in either way doesn't matter the situation we can always find light to focus on the good things the children we do enjoy instead of focusing on the pain and living with it even if it's unavoidable to a certain extent the more we learn to focus on the positive things in our life and the lights in our life and bor hashem there are many things we can give a shadowholder for the bonus that's what can save us that's what can help us relieve our pain and live in a good way the best we could [Applause]