Rabbi Dr Bentzion Twerski

okay good morning everybody today's workshop might might well have been called phila and i want to share with you that it's it it's my personal pet peeve i make it my business to make to feel a bit super every day chakras being in avenues made it that it was basically carved in stone there are no options of davening outside of a minion but when you look around in a basmati dish and you see people diving you see how phila gets treated it has to make an impact on you because there are some people that are treating trilla as a as a gift as an opportunity there's others that treat filler as a chore now you know we're familiar if you you know if you have uh a computer with microsoft outlook there's a task list and you can put on the task list i have to do this i have to go to grocery i have to go to work i have to have a meeting like this and an appointment here and and one of the tasks on the list is chakras another one is another one is and if we treat phillip as a chore we have we have a major challenge because it's done to get over with so that you can go on to whatever is next on the list and it's sad that philip can can often become one of these things that you just got to get past so that you can go on to the next um when when i come to a a shabbaton like this we have an island of people i think they said the number was somewhere just below 900. and everybody is here in the emotional mode and everybody is coming in with their own peckle of whatever whatever issues they have and um when they when we darven we're already in the emotional mode and the tiller is taking that kind of and it's that kind of an experience for us that we're we're aware that we're standing in front of the kiseh covered and we're pouring our our hearts out it's an interesting rambam in hillchrom says that in reality our obligation by tefilos we're supposed to be mahavin from beginning to end and our philip beginning to end requires us to to be involved in it rather than just robotically going through the words on the page of the siddha and the rambam says that because today we're unable to be mahaven everything the way that we need to the ram says a very interesting if we're mohave which is the beginning of shamanism until the the end of that of morgan avrom if we do that but the avid we're good okay very nice very nice thought but the in his says an awesome thought and you would think that hey this got to come out of you but one of the to me the basham must have said this and he says says that kavanagh by philip involves two separate things one is understanding the words of what we're saying perish the second is the conscious of a conscious awareness that was standing by the kids they are covered talking to the bunch loyola directly face to face that your yachts is regarding perish hamilas which means if you don't understand what by velamoshinim is and you don't know what those words mean but the avid you're okay but you have to from the very beginning of davening to the very end of davening be in a state of conscious awareness i'm standing in front of the the abandoned woman i'm talking to him this is something that in order to do that you have to get away from the mayak of the intellect part of the brain and you have to access the emotional part of the brain because the emotional part of the brain is focused not on exactly what the words are that i'm saying but indeed but it goes directly to they avoid the belief philosophy believe what we're discovering is that the proper way of approaching filler is to be emotionally involved the challenge is that if we don't approach it from an intellectual perspective we will not understand enough to to enable us to engage emotionally now i began many years ago learning siddha now just put put the put the backdrop for this as we were little children and i mean little little you know parents have these things you do with the children so you have you know this little piggy and whatever you you know how you do with their fingers um when i grew up my mother had the um the shtick that she would do and then when i watched one grandchildren she did it with them too and she says okay when i'm gonna be big what am i going to learn now i become a yeshiva booker and i say okay my god is the book on the shelf that gets more used than any other bound volume in the entire basmatis and we know the least about what goes in there who sits with a siddha and learns and it bothered me because i'm darvaning and i'm not understanding what i'm saying and part of not understanding yes i might be you know i was in yeshiva now if you see you can translate some of the words here and there but that that that was not even the issue for me then i made some discoveries that well there is no there's no there's before he put together his siddha sat with sixty sedan that he would have what to base it on when he was when he when when he extricated from all that the best combination of that that that that he wanted to that he wanted to put forth where were these 60 differences what did they say in it and wait a second after this and this looks why is this one better than that one and it it set me on a mission i'm davening anyways let me understand it let me treat my experience of being with a minion and it should be something that that means something to me there were there were several several aspects of this that all came together and today i spend time with siddha on a daily basis trying to understand what am i talking about with so there's the number the number of sudden that i have access to is sizeable said i'm afraid and countless others i have from already sodium i probably have about 15 or 20 and there are many more there's some that i have access to online and i want to know where did the tvillas come from who wrote them what role do they play so for instance we have aussie usher that shows up before barchi after basically december why is it there what's the significance the throne bring down that we used to say it after sika de zimmer and it was like to move it to move it earlier to be the tail end of zimmer i can i can expound if anybody wants to are nuances in this that actually make a huge difference to understand what a particular tool is i want to i want to approach this in a more general where we can have a sheer and filler once a day for an hour at least and we can go through the siddha and it's going to take us many many months to get to get through it and we will not have touched silicas we will not have touched yemen taiwan with there's there's treasures in what is printed in the sid if we would only if we would only understand it and spend the time with it but that's more of the intellectual angle on this and the the we need to resort to that because if we don't understand it i don't have a way to relate to it emotionally um i made a discovery some 25-27 years ago on what berkshire means and i was at a weekend retreat of people recovering from drugs and alcohol all hamish people there was a there was a beautiful basmatis and there were the these recovering addicts many of whom had overdosed more than once we were saying and every blocker that they were talking about was relevant to the fact that i'm alive today versus the alternative so that when they were saying they were saying god thank you for allowing me to wake up this morning do we think about that okay shalom i might be able to open my eyes and see something right and then they're talking about materials all these do we have an idea what we're saying we are giving the greatest form of gratitude by recognizing that david is the one that's responsible for all this you know one of the fillers there's there's jokes about this but one of the trill is that we can we conclude every single trill with it and the shakas and the minha and the marv and it gets a very very honorable position in the trilogy and yom kippur is olayni wanisha what is the theme of that filler we're saying it every day we're saying it multiple times a day it's a very special what are we saying okay let's look at it lana lisa beckham so it's on us to be able to give chevrolet to the banishing why shelia sonic again says he did not make us like the guy right we're able to dive into hakusho it's very nice if you take this at face value we miss the the temptation miss the energy of what this fella is saying because what happens now is we're basically saying they darven to the gachkas we dive into the airbuster my daddy is bigger than their daddy is that what is that what we're saying it's bizarre it's strange why are we are we talking like that carrie think about it this way here's a room god is in that room mr guy what are you going to when you want to go into that you can go into the room and you can talk to god what are you going to say the guy is going to say something like give me a mercedes a five million dollar bank account the crews around the world a et cetera et cetera give me give me give me give me give me if you send a yid into that room the eid is gonna is gonna stand in front of the ubuntu islam and say you gave me a beautiful life i have children i have a job i have food to eat i have a home i have a community i have health we're going to look at what is it that we can say to the ubuntu to be grateful the one pivotal word in that filler is the word imagine because that's something that he does by nature and the guy by nature does not and the contrast that phil is about to contrast a yid to a guy and if we realize that now read through this filler to the best you can understand it and it makes a difference it now turns into one of the most profound forms of gratitude that we can have and you know what think positive think positive we conclude filler every single time we dive in with the message think positive i'm a yid i'm gonna go forth into whatever i'm going to do that day or whatever i'm going to do that night i'm i'm approaching it as a yid i have a very very a very special status so that if we begin to examine feel us that we have we realize that we're looking at a treasure there's there's it's filler that we have that that has begun to get a lot more attention lately we're familiar with it because it's in the siddha for um for shabbos and yakutev it also appears very honorably in hollow by by by the side of pesach at night and it's gotten a whole lot of good press there's an ancient skiller that when somebody is going through a difficult time zug nishmas all right take your citizen and say nishmas i'm just flashing back the first time that i did this was when my son suzanne gosenton started was in the bus accident with the blazer gulf sailor and uh we came to um eric israel found them in icu in a coma and tuesday night that week the ex that happened thursday night tuesday night there was a kindness at the kaiser the hospital was in petra i had somebody give me a ride to the castle and back and there was a there was a couple of hundred people matt guzer till him and we said all the names and then then we said this was the first time that i i had known about it but i never participated in it and i became very very busy like i want to understand this we can translate the words it's not about translating the words i want to know the theme what is the message and it became clear that nishmas is not a filler where you ask for anything you're not asking for health you're not asking for panaso you're not asking for success you ask for nothing nishmas is a filler that is from beginning to end you're giving shave to the rabbani shalom you're talking about the things in tava that we have you're talking about the nissan that have happened to us that's what it's all about god did a great job on the world you took care of us nissan when we had to when we had the opportunities to be in difficulties you were there right you take care of us you make our bodies work you make everything work and then you say ain't only must speak we don't have enough to be able to give gratitude i can't i can never give enough gratitude for for how much for for how much has to be there then i made a discovery that the trill of nishmas has a very special status it's a filler that we actually prepare for in other words we don't just open the city and you know say it and babble it away we actually prepare for it so that if you look at these mutus shabbos friday you're talking about being making it ready friday night for trilos nishmas that you're saying tomorrow morning for those of us who've seen soma i will i will i will i will kneel down with my face to the floor we had in yesterday's prasha right when paulie said and take away the marker right the posting says moshe went out for it it's a chiller to raise hands like this okay is it phyllis bakasha it's begging for for something and um it's a trilogy we you're only allowed to give shabbat and the songs say that the twilights of shabbos are many times greater than the thrillers from all week long you're not asking for anything it's all and the secret is that if a person is going to dive in and ask with it's phyllis parkasha there's a big problem because there are malochem in the middle that ride shotgun this guy's asking for pronosa maguilo skimta i he did such and such so we always have the risk that if we're davening that there's a kit rook and there's a a there's a a a hurdle there's a barrier before the tillers are going to reach the ubuntu level and it's on purpose that way so this we have to come up with various strategies and ruses to be able to bypass that of which one is philippe siva devastated says that philip is never going to go unanswered so we we we do what we can to be able to connect as a sibling there's another thing to do if somebody is coming to visit the king right someone's going to go into the white house they're getting screened before they go in right you're going in to see the the president or somebody or somebody in the in the in the white house the state capitol you're getting screened for safety before you walk in there right you have no weapons you have no this um why it's not different by the ubanishawn that we get screened before we go in what happens if we're bringing a gift are you bringing a gift we'll take it in for you when when a yid darvens we can have marshavas of whatever it is that we need but we're bringing it as a gift you don't bring to a gift god i need pranos that's not how you do it the way you do it is you go and you say ubanishal islam you've done so much for me you've given me this much you've given me children you've given me you're giving me a job a community with all the taiwanese right and if you thank the gabandeshan for it underneath you're saying god doing a great job keep up the good work that filler is we're only thinking that and that's fine because malachim don't understand what what a person's thinking only the amish is ayadaya marshavas so maluchem can't block at filler that comes alide and there's plenty precedent to this in by the yamsev the eden came they're blocked from all sides behind them the arm is in front of them and what do they do they start davening hashem and mushroom says to them is going to take care of things for you be quiet were they doing wrong if you're going hashem they they they held on to something that they learned from their office right then it's a good thing why are we so why are we stopping them what are they doing that they shouldn't do targum yandere sin targem janissen translates the posek is said be quiet didn't say be quiet not to say anything don't say it phyllis bakasha because there's malachim that are here by the amsaf that are saying hello and if you're going to ask a trellis bakasha it's going to get blocked don't be so foolish don't ask give shaver furry dough to the ubuntu island you you made it six days from you see us till here and abhished took care of you he gave you what you needed you're you're embraced by an aniha covent there's there's the there's that message of gratitude if you if you concentrate that with abhishek we'll hear underneath that you're that you're begging to be rescued from from the midseam he'll take care of you and guess what he did right we cannot we we can always open the chemist and then and read you know true but you know what the eden didn't just run away if you have somebody locked in a room and somebody comes by and breaks the lock what is the person that was locked inside dude he runs out that's not what happened the absolute wasn't an escape hatch what do we say by the opposite of bengi sri amsaf davishi didn't just open up the the the passage and everybody went running out abrasion took us across he escorted us through the arm took us across this wasn't saying okay run away we were we weren't running away mr took us to where he wanted us to be so this that they had enabled the creative to become the massiveness that it was of course it was it violated all rules of of of nature besides that there's something more here and what was more is that it turned into a massive extreme version of hashem this is this is one of the things where where a yid has something that that in other in other forms of religion is non-existent so it's not that you know catholics have their thing and protestants have their thing and the buddhists have their thing and islam is it's not about that we are categorically different not not numerically different not we're not different by in terms of of measure we are categorically different because we have a different way of approaching as developed as a rabindra shall islam he takes care of us and we are constantly grateful what makes us into a a very powerful and valuable message is that when we are recognizing that we are in a place of emotion and for the overwhelming majority of us we're here in pain our kids are in pain we're in pain the kids aren't here we're here we're here because of the suffering that we're going through so we're going to take a siddha in our hand and we're going to dive in and we are already in an emotional spot what i'd like the message the the the bottom line message is that when we are in that place and we are we are already in the right brain we're in the emotional side of the brain it would it would be extremely valuable in multiple ways to be able to use this opportunity to say inaudible i'm grateful that you gave me this i'm grateful that you gave me that whatever your bhaktis are i'm not telling people not to daven with bakashas but it's critical that we make an express concentrated effort a conscious effort to recognize what the rabbi did give us if we walk away from a shabbos like this and one of arts phyllis's ubuntu shalom i'm grateful that i had a shabbos like this i met up with people i was able to talk to somebody who could understand what i'm talking about i can't do that when i'm at home there's very few people that i can talk to that really know what that know what i'm going through i met i i i heard this i heard that the food was great the ambiance was great the abdollah was great the the the speakers were were were wonderful and we were able to access the gratitude part right use the fact that we're in the emotional mode to access that part of us because that's one of the things that makes a yi different from a a guy there's a story that's i see it being brought down in the name of ahmedish i have no clue where the med dishes but it's a story of a tana who was traveling somewhere on foot and he passed an area where right near the road there was a small little creek and there was a man jumping back and forth over the creek over the water and by each time that he jumped he screamed out the word tommy and he goes over to him and he says what are you doing he says you know he was orphaned from both of his parents as a baby and neighbors who were him took him in they knew that he's the yid they didn't know much of what that means there was no access to to so other than being told that he's eid he had no idea what what kind of halachus and practices he has to follow and somewhere in his his travels whatever he was doing he happened to have learned one single word from los angeles it happened to be the word tummy so he says look i know i got to serve god i have no idea what i'm supposed to do nobody ever taught me so i'm going to come up with something myself and he would jump back and forth over the creek this is this is his brilliant idea and scream out the one lotion kitish word that he knows the time they realized hey this guy is doing something to do about this hashem so he says to me what you're doing is fine but i want to teach you a different word because the word tame is a negative word let me teach you a different word tahr so when you jump over the creek scree i'm going to scream out the word tar very nice tana went on his went on his merry way and um the poor guy had too much experience with the word tummy and there's virtually no experience with the word tyler and he very quickly forgot it and he was on and he was sitting there unable to do anything because now that he told me that i shouldn't say the word tummy so i can't do that but i remember the new word so he was sitting there puzzled the time that came to wherever his destination was and he went to sleep and he had a full on his father came to him his rabbit came to him whatever and told him you better go back and undo the damage let him scream the word tammy the nachos that the abhishe had from his avoid this hashem which is certainly not one of the tired mitzvahs but this was what he was doing because for him this was available all right from that and you deprived the ribanus go back and fix it go fix that which he had to do otherwise he was you know he was he was he wasn't he was in a it was in a really bad place um the sincerity that a person brings to their avadas hashem is so much an icker it's so fundamental that the outer trappings are not the main thing and then we talk about phil as a video it's not the words we say the words we say is just a vehicle the real part of trilla that needs to matter to us is the awareness like ryan brisker says i'm talking to the ubuntu island directly face to face the abyss to hears me and when i talk to him i can i can tell him anything you're going to keep a secret from god come on right if i need something who do i go to when we were children we wanted something where did we go went to our parents well the islam is our parent right i'll tell you how far it goes there's a letter that obianus and ibishops wrote to his nephews nieces who lost one of their parents i have no i i remember the the details exactly but it's in the tank this is to the children of a brother-in-law's sister-in-law whatever and he writes to them as follows he says slasher right when the abhishek takes one of the the physical parents away the child still needs three parents they wish to fills in so that until now the abortion was 33 my parents my father was 33 mother was 33 when my mother passed away the ambitious says okay i got to fill in all right i'm still here they bishop became 66 and two-thirds of my parents right my father passed away 11 and a half eleven months ago plus a week or so bishop became a hundred percent my friend i'm not parentless i'm not and if we recognize that when we're talking to the ubuntu phone yes give bush to your shopping list my father's honda book had a story i remember when he came back from describing this and he must have put it into one of his books one or more he was at the castle i believe this was his trip in 1968. he went to the castle and while he was there he sees that they're escorting an elderly to the castle and he realized that this elderly either is blind that's why he's being taken with you know an entourage of maybe a gaba and children and he comes up to the castle he's not going to hold the tillam in his hand because he can't see what it says anyways and he starts to talk and he says if you kept look tell him and as he's when he finishes the the capital till him he starts rattling off a shopping list that he that he needs this and he needs that and then this family member needs such and such he's going down the list and then he stops and he says sorry i said that already yesterday my father walked away says that's happening he's talking to the bundesliga directly some years ago i gave a workshop at a time missouri convention i don't remember if this was the workshop before me or the workshop after me but the presenter of the workshop was somebody who was a ninth grade rebbe and then this this rebbe had been begging his menaho i want to give a shirt and filler please let me do it he says i fought with the manal for three years and he finally said okay one hour a week is how much can you cram into a single hour you know so he you know he would go through the structure of trilla and understand that this would be malcolm carbona's and and this is the the phase of circuit is himmler and this is the shiva's and he's going through the whole the through the structure they said i need to do something in this measly hour week that's going to stick here's a bunch of high school kids so he says you know what i want you to do something like this you're saying shamanistic quietly nobody hears what you're saying the mission says that phil and emeritus and it doesn't matter what language you say yes we're messaging you can dive in in any language you want so he says by shimanessa there's there's there's there's additives okay so by the book of referendums it's philip to say to be masquerade [Music] is the defaulted you can put anything you want in there right it's the kitchen sink he says every trillion you say personalize it put something that's your personal bakasha into shimanessa so for instance during the bracha of atakainen a person can easily say the banish leila i'm taking a history test this afternoon help me get a good grade that's fine because at least i know that i'm asking the one that that can make it possible right somebody says you know i did something yesterday i should do i i i ate milk too soon after flashing it's fine what's the problem right and it's but what they're doing is once i'm already putting my own personal ingredient into the filler the whole trilla becomes personalized i'm now concentrating on what i'm talking about and i'm involved in it it's becoming part of my um experience there's a quote from the balsamic that basically says if you are after yudhafind the same as you were before why did you bother phil is an experience that we're connecting with the ubanishalam directly who wants me he invited me pleased my child come talk to me three times a day i want to hear you are we approaching twilight away are we looking at it as a chore when we're in a matzah like many of us are here we're coming we're parents in pain as i said somebody just said that before parents in pain we're pips we're in the emotional mode but when we're in that emotional mode who do we turn to yes we can turn to friends to to uh to comrades to other parents other yes there are people we can talk to but the one who's going to be there 24 and 7 who not is not just available but is asking us come talk to me tell me the rabbi to me it's the shot what we say at the the last of the middle brochures of shamanism is the book of shame why do we have to say that we said it already right it's very simple the gamora darshan's on the this rosa shows up in shas i think five if not six times and each time the one saying it is a different tana hispal von valloyne a person davened and he was not answered and he didn't get a response to his fellow jacksonville yes probably should go and daven all over again how do you know the posted caveat hashem right what if it didn't work strengthen yourself re-mobilize but kami hashem do it all over again wait a minute experience taught me that adam it didn't work taichung the the the helico is filming this from canada say a fascinating touch sometimes the bishop doesn't give you what you asked for because he wants to continue hearing your voice and we've done this with our children they come and say can i have a can i have a candy can i have a lollipop right you don't give it to them right away because they're cute as buttons right you cover when they talk to you just keep on talking right some of the kids are you know they're they're their addiction is you know it's still baby talk and you love to listen to this see just keep on talking if you give them the lollipop they stick the lollipop in and you and they're not they're not talking to you so the ubuntu slime is saying no no keep talking to me i love to hear your voice so sometimes they wish to hold back not because he's depriving us he's not distancing us and pushing us pushing us out he's welcoming us he said keep talking i want to keep hearing you philip today we're taking note of the fact that abhishek loves to hear a starving but the davening that we're talking about is not the babbling the words of the siddha off the page that it goes from here to there and it doesn't go to it there was an old saying that a that knowledge in college goes from the notes of the professor to the notes of the student without going through the brains of either of them i don't want to see fillers that go off the page and out the mouth without having gone through the avoid the chablave we have to process this we have to be emotionally involved in it so that when we are walking around with emotional involvement in whatever peckle that they wish to gave us turn that around fabish just wants to hear us talk to him we don't know what the answer is going to be sometimes the answer is no but but our job is connect the abhishedes are is our our heavenly fathers and he wants us to keep talking to him and what what i know what i want to take away when i when when i'm going home today is i want to be able to daven on a tuesday or a wednesday the way that we dove in here not talking about the beautiful tulas with the with the with the bali chilla and the and the choir which was berkeley was gorgeous right that's not what i'm talking about that that's entertaining for me right and sometimes it it plays a plays a significant role i'm musically inclined and it touches me which is fantastic it's beautiful but when i can access that part of me that allows me to interact with filler and to be emotionally involved in it the way that it the way that we see it here the way that i learned it 20 20 some odd years ago when people are able to actually say the vlog of by birch and they mean it because they could have been dead they were doing the kinds of things that some people did not survive right whether it was needles in their arm whether it was uh doing drugs in other ways whether it's getting drunk and then and then driving i know somebody who was drinking for years and was in accidents and never got breathalyzed or had blood alcohol levels taken when he was when he ended up at the hospital never right and i was always wondering how did people pull this off there's a reality there's an abstract that that somehow protects them and the way that we deal with these kinds of things is we have to turn around and be have limitless gratitude because the best phyllis we will ever say are the thrillers of gratitude and that's why nishmas is such a precious skillet that we're there's but cautious galore in there but we're not saying them they're implied and the implications they pushed against that he knows how to do that my job is to be fixed in the gratitude and so they wish to help him we should always be able to concentrate on giving give us we don't have we do have the best fillers that we're going to have are going to come through haida thank you for listening