R Shimon Russell Growing from the Nisayon; Finding meaning in madness

I had to actually prepare the Russian you know this is one of those times when just not nageire so I'm gonna drop the Josh sometimes you in a very magical moment and being here this Shabbos has been magical my wife and I answered Abby's call to come because we saw an opportunity to help to Matt as a kid we have a little expertise because we've been through a lot but I really thought I came to be metallic and I came and I got physical from you and I don't mean that lightly I mean that completely honestly and sincerely that I didn't know what to expect I had no clue what I was walking into but I got tremendous tremendous physical about it the Shabbos from these you the Warriors in the trenches extraordinary every one of you extraordinary extraordinary people you're doing God's work and away this so hafla dick and I'm telling you I have a deep debt of a car so tied to everyone here especially to Harvey for asking me to come but all of you and I want to be Mazdas on what that means when we went through this parsha ourselves as I mentioned a few times over Shabbos there were moments of feeling very very lost very lost on this journey I told you I was considering changing professions I felt false felt like a hypocrite slowly but surely I began to see the picture and I realized what was missing in me you know we all live this wonderful life of player Mitsos we dive and dress the right way has said we learn we do everything but I was thinking of the marshal that we heard this magnificent marshal today have the two people digging the holes and they forgot to put the tree in the third guy didn't turn up a kaha salmon are safer we look at cloudy so we look at what's missing we look at what our children see and they see the guy is not planting the tree there's something missing here but most of all I think for us we have to realize in our own lives that we're the Kurdish broth who is giving us as a gift he's giving us a gift a gift of authenticity he's giving us a gift to get real real with our lives with our Vedas a Shem to become honest with ourselves there was a moment in my journey when I saw what was missing you know we learned how's that we love Herzl's we loved rushes you know we love inspirational lines but do we really live them do we internalize them whether we just you know we say I'm over the Gemara the groin either the Zion on base Amala hamam una al high iron Lila Schmo is a mother in charge of pregnancy his name is Lila no told teper Humam either live near mahkum takes a drop of embryonic fluid and he places it before they're going to shillelagh variety pursue mati Ella what's gonna be with this teper was gonna be with it ha ha motive ish smart or not so smart stupid gibbehhhhh of college mighty strong or weak or share money wealthy or poor the alert Tzadik the rush of life time is not gonna psyche a combination mind hoods miasma we all know this kamar but do we know what Rashi says I think these three things hakama tipis these the three worlds we live in intellectual world is hostile man to fish our Shan is the environment Ebola washes our physical world these the worlds we live our lives in an accommodation I absorb adacia mind what is a combination mind za dashi accomodation mine call me dice of the case of shall Adam wine Lopez eres Miller all our mythos characteristics personality the corrosive and the events that occur to us in the course of our life is a call with Zahra smell if a kids grow up you know we expect when they're born you know we all have these idiotic fantasies about what we actually think we got look around wake up a neshama comes back for what reason particular Shama now it would be convenient if when it's born on its toe it has a little tag announcing exactly what the problem is a DD lazy and pulse disorder OD d self-centered but doesn't happen like that I'm a Russian song to call me dice avocado social are the boy and bezerra smellin how busy we are blaming this neighbor and that Rebbe and this friend who the bad influence and if she hadn't gone there and he hadn't seen this this is not mesh Baja magazine this is rushy comet dice of the coal a social are the boiler bags era smellin else's minutiae maíam and I tell you what I realized in my development and my evader that I was on the misrata magazine level I didn't take it seriously I was like everyone else it's this one's fault and that one's for this problem and yet a problem and one day rough eyesight it occurred to me is a combination I am is meant me dice of occurred I solve the a burster knows exactly what he's doing and this is my gift this is my gift this is meant for me this is the hardest thing to come to terms with overdoses the MS Lomita say that this is my gift for success and kiss I'd say give their bias kadosh well see some maca alga ghetto you build a new house you've put a mark around the world they see a dome in basic up any power knife only men best the knife Oh someone falls off the roof and he dies Zagreb and Buckeye brings a medic major says fascinating between Pena pull her knife filming men and Ipanema no less our falls on the roof falls off what's Peggy pull her knife unless the fall of falls off the roof must meant it's a waste of a word Zog The Meadows rye hire lipoma shasha's you may have lashes from che che sia may have bodacious as given an eyeful and he's going off someone's roof shouldn't be your roof go build the maka it's not allowed to be your roof an event of a higher is mus being the second shock I'll peep into Rosh Chodesh this matters and explains that everything that happens to us in this world is saris Mela is whom chase you seemed a hellacious it's my destiny as part of my life it's my journey he who died by Allah my that's what I meant to go through everything hello boss let it not be my roof I began and eiffel's going off someone's roof I found the symbol of meddlers the semi Hashem had Sweden at the vonda brings down I found in the yucca matsyas library in Lakewood had a photocopy of it one time where's Mariah the same thing he says an amazing Russian amazing amazing Russian where he says cousin be also la alumni before a person comes back to this world he meets with the best intial mela and that i his russian but on the dacoit in the world of truth that I bought her at her toilets my it's like he walks down this massive this Walmart's this great store and I love amis with his cart with the Millat him climbing up all the shelves what he needs for his chicken in this world and that I Barker aha toilets my cannot be an armored Detroit that you don't choose exactly what you need and includes all our children I Got News for you all the struggles all the initiators all the problems and we put it all in our cart we that I chose exactly this destiny for ourselves , dice of acylase of what happens to us is all destinies from the rabbi initial item and it's exactly what we need for our chicken and I credit my children with waking me up to this reality because prior to these passions it was just rate it was just Tyler it was in for my information was academia if you don't get a chance to live it till you hear it can tingle with the struggle and pleasure and his governess of this till you're here the Caiaphas this brings out of every single one of us is unimaginable who we would have been without this struggle and who we are because of it I took this page from the Turkish embassy one time I was by Mehran - EF - leader and I've been searching for a long time for a Zurich audition and I couldn't find that anyone I was confident I'd seen it once and I was meeting with a prime and I went over this concept to insemination I had a few ideas I wanted to clarify and then I asked him an interesting question I was holding this page from the seminar Shemin see in my hand asking him exactly how far it went call everything yep everything and I asked McGann Sleater I am confident I once sought in the zyre college but I can't find them a car that included in this is that we get to choose our children and we choose our parents we choose everyone if you bother baka all that's not high and that means we chose our kids too knowing what's gonna be and we chose our parents I asked him is the wrong no of the makar for this in the Zoya they look to me so I start explaining those decisions and he grab this page out of my hand yes look I'd say that's what he says it's the soil that I bother toy flats where voice I took an aide with me because I knew no one would believe me I took an aide who heard it from him direct that's exactly what it means you choose our children we choose our parents we choose our mats of every detail of it because it's that massive that's gonna make us alive it's that massive that's gonna make us fulfill our mission in this world that's what we're here for this massive isn't in the way my children always said you know once years ago I was offered a radio talk radio show I guess got the right voice you know it's my voice again I turned it down but my kids joka me they said if you ever have a talk radio show here's how you're gonna end up you have a signature at the end where you sign off he said this will be a sign-off and remember your problems are not in your way they are your way have a nice day this [Applause] this reality is is what our children and our struggles can bring us to the truth so we can live a real entire life not just you know Mitzvah notion will a mother living over and doing everything right this is what I experienced with everyone here the Shabbos this is real we're in the trenches we're fighting for our yudish pay for our lives this is our relationship to yardas a relationship to rabona shillelagh and call me those sober cuz I saw that I she it's all everything that happens to us is war Minister Miami this is our way this is what it's all about and my children brought me to this acara and you can bring this to the world you have to realize people are watching you I didn't realize but people watched me eventually neighbors and friends they would say they shimon you know can we go for a walk and you what it meant after a while you know can we just eat anytime can we go for a walk and then they say like how do you do that you know I noticed you with your kid and when the youth order and do that and then they pour out stop crying that problems and that they how do you do it and then you realize you're surrounded by world uyama people struggling and then washing you they're getting physic from you they're learning from you once I went to her to skull many years ago when our eldest daughter she was maybe seventeen she was notice all the time she was a beautiful young girl I went to see her to massacre I always went as often as I could spend time with her I got to the airport and there I met to have a rim to people I knew well both well-known very harsh Marussia Sheba's one from Lakewood and one from aerosol who I knew well and I wasn't yet ready to talk about my Taurus and the remerge squabbling let's fly together it wasn't such a busy plane I never had to sit with them on this plane and we're all talking and learning it's all smack and I'm dying inside and about this I couldn't I couldn't talk yet anyway we get tense as well and I have a card I have to rent my car I come out you know you come up with your trolley there was the old days I don't if you remember and the old terminal one days you came out this little one little area and everyone's waiting to greet you and I walk out with these to reflect by these two hush were of Sheba's and there's a fruit sir standing there so I look away there's this beautiful fruits of a long curly hair runs skin the tiniest red dress that covered the minimum imaginable that's probably legal to walk in the street approaches I looked away and then I look back and it was her she's come to greet me so I pushed my cards ahead of these two Russia Shiva's without saying a word I dashed forward and stopped my car they took her in my arms and I hugged I [Applause] cannot imagine what it all looked like you know this is me I hugged her and then we went off we got the car I was smart already because halfway through shoreline I said did I pass she said yeah you did really good it's an amazing story I was so surprised at the tell you I was so subrata inside I had instead of word and they saw us you know it was Thursday night anyway Shabbos morning I was still not feeling so great about the whole nights of staying by shrug and I got up early to go to shelters and walking around the corner and one of these Russia Shiva's is walking towards me on the same side of the street so of course I panic I want to cross the street like run across and hide I'm feeling like such an idiot Rossum grow up just shut up and deal with it so I keep walking and we stop and we see each other and he puts his arms around me and he hugged me and he started crying and I was so like touched and then he started bawling and then I realized I was holding him from collapsing as he was bawling and I'm thinking wow I seen us all this is like wow he's soaking my suit the kid sir he finally pulls himself together and through him I cut a schmuck who gives me a gift that Howard's my life as he looks me in the eye and he said chemin he said if I had your strength maybe my son might come back the voice I everyone of you is me on that Street every time you hug your kid every time you walk in the street with him or her you have to realize you're being watched and there are those not so fortunate to have this program at this training and the his acute gets for watching you and learning from you maybe that's a hey look of your destiny and imagine the sky you get you don't even realize we have to realize that Kurdish boy who is gifting us with this Soviet is making us a person each one of us that we never dreamt we could be and the gifts just keep on coming once you see the truth once you see what this sucker really is meet minimus I am hi - hi - tomorrow we're gonna sing hallo and I'll tell you my favorite time and the Vltava Hollow Idaho kyani sunny but he'll ensure thought the meadows tell him Theodora Idaho kyani sunny I give thanks to Yuri binational island for all the suffering he Annie sunny because you made me struggle because about the Helia sure that struggle freed me that was my Yeshua it freed me to be an authentic Jew it took me closer to you it inspired me it was a true Yahshua it was my salvation and it came through the struggles came my salvation I give thanks to your doc ock eonni Sonny Thank You Ravana Shalom Evan Mosul huh Bonham Ohio solo @osha Pina this big Evan you're building a building you want to build a house you have to clear the land you have to build the foundation so you can build the house properly and the boy came to build the building and that was a huge rock they couldn't move it and they were most abundant they're mice most of the hate in it this Evan was in the way and then they hopped you built on it it's not in the way it is the way highest on the leash peanut I'm gonna build right on that rock I'm gonna build on my childhood struggling I'm gonna build my life I'm gonna build the authenticity of my relationship to rebind a shillelagh on that rock that I thought was in the way and it wasn't Mesa sham higher service call me dice of the corrosive we're in love because I smell his mace ice cream I use ice ice and it flows very no it's amazing when you see it it's passion half of the favela when you finally open your eyes you see the truth that this is how I build my gun's erroneous everything till now was preparation and now I'm gonna build my life on this holodeck NIF lesbians they're how you massage it the day you realize a sham did this for you know Gil of in this pub or a Boise can get up and sing you don't have to be miserable anymore get rid of that sadness get rid of the pain dance sing because it sniff love you sir it's amazing because the problems are not in your way because the problems are your way so leverage to help I'm telling you you gave me physical thank you so so much and I deeply deeply deeply appreciate it and I really hope that you'll take these messages and keep building you are the warriors during the trenches people are watching you and they're being Melissa from you and everyone has given this chance to find her she'll take it grab it run with it sing the song and dance - em because there's something to sing about you've been given a gift of truth of life of real Taylor [Applause]