Mendy Klein - Avoid Burnout; The Need for Self Care is as Important as Self Control

okay so the topic is we call that self-care I'm not going to tell you about massage therapy or going to the spa however which is a good thing to do and normally when you do self-care and that bodily help you do see a difference obviously everybody comes out rejuvenated in the same way as you do bodily self care there is something which you do self-care and emotional self-care and that's the focus of the message that I'm trying to put out over here the when admiration Hashem asked Ayaka where are you Hashem didn't know where he is that's that's not the question Hashem as I echo where is self why are you hiding from self and what did Adam Harrison do he was to start pointing it's not me it's here it's there so why did he do that he was pointing away from pain when people look into themselves they find pain and they can't face that that's where self care emotional self care comes in so I have a saint in my coaching career the issue is not the issue what do you have with the issue now the issue we call is data something happened yes something and that's a data what are you going to do with the data there's a script it happened what are you doing with the data therefore I can I come to this recognition which I call is there a parent at risk however we heard yesterday our Pinterest feed mashallah she is saying which I normally don't like to mix shallow shit-stirrer with with with therapeutic things but for the simple reason is because it's one of my feelings I see my Sami says I will see the story they go home they don't know what to do with it that's where self how is it's avoid a and what the estoy de and there is a void that you have to do the work what he was saying is from the specimens that Darbar Bonham which is the what we just had on pacer is not for different children it's one child that's what this was mi said so according to what he said yesterday from the source Emma's everybody is has equipped in themselves we have the Russia inside we have the shiny addition we have the column that means we have to work on ourselves where does that make a difference like I started how a sham created the first thing will happen again creation the minute that Hashem asked I akka where are you where itself it was pointing away from the pain we have to face pain and we have to face our realities and actually we are not trained that way because our upbringing is not that way especially even a child the first thing is what do you teach him the mother teaches him how to brush the teeth they take care of the body to take out that limb but when it gets to emotions higher emotion how to deal with it because he's constantly being fed and nurtured that's the way it should be there is dysfunctions happening I mean if you call it dysfunction but things could fall in the way wisdom is free yet is the most expensive thing that we acquire because we acquire through failure disappointment grief that is why our wisdom is an expensive commodity Judaism teaches us so does and that is as well in self-help development and everything what we learn a self AB I can refer to Torah which is the most amazing thing it teaches us don't be clever be wise if she does they call a bit Lahaie ashes but when you know when you say these words people don't know what to do with it what does this mean so I'll just explain to you a small that comes to my mind what does it mean be clever and don't be wise what I just had I brought here at this Shabbos I would say about fourteen sets of parents to come for Shabbos that are not yet an obvious program they're in contact with me ready for two three years but they never came but at least they came for Shabbos actually I got to marry signed up now the strike you know next because they see there's no but two years they think they know RV's method but it didn't work there is a few parents that I failed to bring because society is at fault that's what they told me society is at fault this is at fault that means they are very clever but they're not being wise wise means you go out and learn and see for yourself and move away the ego so the wiseness will come up don't rely on your cleverness there is no shortcuts in in this type of work and there's no achievements when there's a shortcut the work is hard but it's sweet anything that you work hard in the end of the day it sweet I always say be mindful that a sham sees there is no cheating god you only cheating yourself like I had somebody asked me yesterday if I can do certain certain thing because of case nephesh so I told my let me take you over right away to repentance Freedman let's asking the question if nefesh is only three of errors but actually the only thing what you have to do this there's no cheating God you got to know if it is per case nefesh or not and if you cheat you cheating yourself the next concept is greater by far love we receive you heard that on Friday for optional Russell but is the love we give people find many things that throw them off track it could be carelessness offensive harsh destruction cruel arrogant rude again the issue is not the issue what do you have with the issue nobody could make you feel nobody could make you feel the feeling is your own the question is what are you getting what kind of vibrations are you getting and that's good in marriage that couldn't any relationship in the Shilla bias in the house and every and then obviously with the kids but now we're focusing on the kid which is in our self which they call it in therapeutic language the inner child and in swaram they would call the eight to herniate a toy if they call that also the inner child everybody has this inner child that they have to has desires who didn't acknowledge the desires we don't we suppress the desires for various different reasons like I had a Rabi be Shiva call me it was after several discussions that we had and he asks me so you want to tell me for you telling me that the is Shiva's system failed assess how so show them that I say that I didn't say that the Shiva system took to a certain place and from there on you have to continue growing and the same way like your parents who held your hand up to the gutter and now you could cross and go yourself that's only by work on the ego moving away things that are happened to you in the past when you have a trigger something comes up why did it come up you don't have to have the answer but first be in a state of an awareness this means living in an awareness state that's in the the limit of consciousness it goes higher and higher the more conscious you are the more peaceful you'll be the more peaceful your house will be the more peaceful your salon buyers will be now when I mention abayas it means the coinage Lima I'm not sure you know some people ask me always by Abby's method I don't know want to go Bobby no no ready because I deal I'll be causing his salesmen I just don't give me Commission make sure I got you know writing down as well but mutational buys it means the whole house all around and around and everybody likes a military body kisser and I'll tell you real stories also what means how energy when you come in with your baggage and you don't you're not even an awareness of that what that does the energy unit might not even be in a weight and awareness I had somebody just ninety percent of the pants and I'm talking to even though they have a story they have a data there is a cape and there's yes and something happened to the Cape we know all about it but I always connect it something that they had in their childhood that's that's a fact I'm seeing at ninety percent like somebody mentioned to me their parents she was seventeen passed away one year after the other and then she got married by eighteen had to push off the wedding because he passed away that week and the brother said put on a mask just go to the wedding past did you ever do grief on this no and she started crying right there and there says these tears are very healthy tears is a healthy thing it's a relief we as somatic whoever familiar with whoever goes to the RV program knows heard about Reggie Melrose I took training but her everything is connected mind body and soul everything is a reflection if you familiar with the 60-second fix that's what it's all about and that the Creator is not that she learned by Peter Levine dr. peeling he's not the creator either it's even coming in swaram where they call it harsh cotton his burning us it's all the same concept of connecting to the breath and at the different levels because each breath that Hashem gives is giving you a new life at this minute and if you will pay attention you'll see how much peace and love comes into your heart that you matter and this is what everybody wants everybody wants to matter every human being wants to matter we have desires those desires are being suppressed like a rabbit called me up now I started before and he's asking me I spoke to him about a lot about of meditation and certain things and I actually you know my wife was also life coach was sitting here and she was working with with the wife and and he's asked me so you telling me to go with this in this place at this in this retreat I recommend certain retreats for for people in order for self-help development yes so how come why do I have to go learn by the go I'm so asking are you happy is everything good no why calling me obviously did something wrong this is a rabbinic Shiva but there's a pain I know there's a pain because I know the history in the family but was never addressed so he calls me up then sometime later so he realized that he has a desire is good let's say it's a piece of cake so we were taught that he he can't eat Tyrus Moises you can't eat cake so ask him so these are pasta meal if TOEFL he asks me this question so as a sous chef created this world to have an offer from this world that's the way it says on the solution 12 light if that's what he created the world and we look at this partial was were high BAM you should live with it tour is beautiful and it's a way of life it's not a religion which I always tell it to I go into the trenches I get emails Facebook messages from I'm struggling with religions not a religion it's a way of life it's the way how you putting it together are you how you facing it how you accepting it you weren't taught when you were a child because everything was you have to do it it's not that you have to do it yes you have to do it but it's a delivery how do you why do you have to do it just to give you an example a girl called me this year she's 24 now a few years ago she ran away from home very turn to go home and I have a contact with her because I picked her up let's say in the trenches and she's looking for happiness sometimes they go for help not even anymore to become Jewish or religious but I go to those places because obviously in the nephesh if the nefesh is not healthy and this is by the way rvs method let's not focus on the Judaism because the nefesh is sick he's afraid I'm a second he's sick she's sick how could you heal somebody the Torah says of somebody sick you can drive him keep her so talking to her listening to her story smoothing she also so how was working with other children and other teenagers that ran away from home fine when we finished we never didn't speak a word anything about Yiddish guy to whatsoever however I look Jewish and I was the only one really looking Jewish at that place and I go there together with my wife ago the first shuttle tones we go there she texted me this a week before Pesach she texted me what's the client I want to do pace of this year can you help me assess yes ok what do you want what do you need what do I need to do what don't I need to do what was from title for my mother what should she sure acne and throw out and I don't want to talk about to my parents is there not a B's because they were told not to go there by the way from that community they don't go don't they what's the from kite what's the and what do I need to do and I don't want to talk not to my parents I don't want to talk to any rough I don't want to go sell comets I don't do anything can you handle everything for me sure no problem she asked me these questions how did this come I was listening to her by validated her I made sure she matters there was no discussion all of a sudden it comes before a Pesach she wakes up because she became more healthy he's a pisser and we always people ask me how come and the trauma happens to one of our children they go after Derek I don't see the Chinese becoming Jewish I says well if you learnt a little bit Kabbalah little bit see this a little bit you'll know what means a helical economy Mao what means a neshama we are different DNA after all let's face it just to give you just what means patient of Shama another story that I had this week she a woman of 40 sent me a private message and she's telling me her story she's 40 now she ran away from home and she was 24 and obviously went into the whole discussion because I saw her pain and heard her pain she's married to a non Jew and she has a child all of a sudden things are bubbling in her she doesn't want to give up the husband I didn't talk about it that's not the issue my focus now to do with her is self help she has emotional baggage she had a fight with her father when she was 24 she had to run away from home I'm gonna show my father I'm gonna marry whoever I want she's regretting it now now she has a conflict I don't know what the outcome is gonna be trust me I'm traveling to a sham because it needs a lot of help I'm just telling you how honest trauma works that's what I want to bring out how Ana Shama works they all come back we just have to know how to treat it it's not the same DNA it's not the same mechanism now Hashem forgives us and every single thing on a daily day and a daily who says la la no if we believe what we are doubling he forgives us if you identify and you're honest and you trust in a sham we should forgive ourselves also we should also forgive if somebody has a parent issue and you don't have to face the parent for that people think you have to face you don't have to these ways of getting forgiveness out without facing and that is a huge healing to yourself it's a huge I've seen things that people had I've seen a fellow who was about in the 60s and he had an issue because his father didn't trust him on a test in school and he was abusive to the grandchildren already till we didn't go through a certain system on a certain retreat there was a work to come up with with mental psychotherapy but that came up he never even realized that that was bothering for so many so many years if you identify it I say the Shalom buyers changes now sanction of what the shown by says out I'll just tell you with a joke but it's a real thing they were once three people I was a rabbi and Indian and a politician then 20 on a meditation tour out in Arizona in the desert if you milli with Arizona deserts I've been there there's a sign when you're going through the data make sure you fill up your tank of gas because there's not for the next hundred miles is no gas station they walked they hiked it came evening and they saw there's no hotel we are we staying so the only source small lights not far and towards a barn and a small house and they asked can we stay here we have no place with this thing we need some water so the farmer says I only have the bomb and I have one bed at home so you guys are gonna have to switch off or do something over here so the question of who is going to sleep in the bottom and who is going to sleep in the bed at home so in the barn I run after tally there was a cow there's a chicken there's a pig so the first one goes in and they said the Indian said I'm gonna go in I will sleep there you guys can sleep here he goes into the barn says I can't sleep on a bomb there's a cow a cow's an idol for us doesn't we don't we can't sleep together with that cow comes back in the Jew goes in and she's a pig I can't sleep at a pig it goes back in then the politician goes in and what happens is the pig came knocking on the door I can be with a politician what is that the the what's the thing is this is it is a joke but it's not a joke our houses we transform energy to spouses to kids when you have guilt when you have any dysfunction I'll explain to you when I say this function because it might be a dysfunctional let's name these life goes and we started before the way other militiamen Hashem was asking you I echo where are you where itself and he was pointing not to him it's this is that cause he wouldn't want to face the pain and we all have our little story some of them are big some of them are smaller we call it data that's the day the question is what are you doing with the data life goes just like the water runs down from the lake and there's rocks big ones and these small ones and it goes in between the rocks and it turns but it gets to the final destination and a very peaceful calm place the rocks on our paths are lame these rocks it's love recognition I matter self-love each one I can talk up three days because he's a courses in school for three days each and every concept trauma fear trauma has from 1 to 10 it's a huge concept whoever's familiar with trauma trauma could be diagnosed in the brain through a brain scan and this and they see holes in the brain and it does what it does it releases different chemicals into the brain and if it doesn't go back that's why we have a traumatized child it okay can't keep a job they can't concussion is what the traumas it can be dealt how is it dealt and our training it's dealt again I'm not saying I'm talking about only of our training at once it's before anybody takes any medication if some is on medication we are talking always to tell them never to stop because that's not our responsibility we're not medication people but in somatic experiences we are trained and thought feel it in your body we're in your body what color is it what shape is it some people might here to the first time it doesn't even make sense to it well it does and that's why mind body and soul is connected and that's the way you identify it for anger grief sadness magnificence magnificent is a huge part which I will just explain what magnificence means self-reliance if you don't have that limiting beliefs that keeps keeps us back victim mode kills us all of these things are rocks in the river if you're not going to deal with this if you're aware if you even if you're not aware if you want to start being in an awareness when you have a trigger what is this trigger and the level of the peace and harmony at home is extremely when in it's not to say that we don't have triggers we do have triggers even though you're in a conscious level but we do make mistakes but it's okay to make a mistake we are perfect to be imperfect and we might be ashamed but not guilty and I'll explain soon what the differences but once you recognize it it is okay and again nobody could make you feel what we learned in somatic experience is a body changes it sells every seven years yes you see or a baby they were a teenager your body changes you keep on you look so keep on changing I but it looks every 10 years different you're inside mechanism which is your subconscious and your soul did never change whatever was ingrained and put over there is still there just like the 65 year old had an issue with his father with a spelling test that he didn't trust them till it didn't identify it in his body in his subconscious mind and it came up he addressed it persons a new person and then the children regret what happened what happened to him hey but you don't even have to talk what happened because it happens by itself we know it as the spheres but it's the energies do it's called in in therapeutic life and in in Kabbalah and in mystics and it's a true thing energy is a very strong powerful thing and every desire that you have every desire that you have is a sham put it planted into you now from from desire the next step is your intention there's a difference from desire to intention desire is the plant intention is the highway where you're going with the intention you can go both ways to the right and to the left but then you have to go back our whole maja love the way Hashem put us everything was based on the raphson that he wanted he brought us to meet Ryan he brought us to the mid where he brought us to the arms if it was an intentional way to come to the ultimate goal what did the Jews do in between in the mid where and that's work but that was the old deer was parrots and there was a desire and then there's a tongue in attention what I was telling you before when this rabbit called me so I have a desire so I asked him so what did people tell you you have a desire for take what what see for a certain title what do you what did well I have to figure it out and I asked to three people under Saturday what do I say that says the answer exactly the way it is exactly wait it so how do I get there let's call the level of consciousness the more conscious you are the answers is even you some people ask what is the difference between a coach and a therapist the way I will taught in a coaching school is a therapy is going from the ground up to a base level therefore insurance companies don't pay for a coach they pay for a therapist and a coach brings you up to the next level into a consciousness consciousness first of all is totally a Jewish thing if any is familiar with possessing rebus form he talks about it in and out he understood an effort maximum talks about it and I've seen what it did to myself I'm into meditation and to that's why I went when I started learning by Reggie Melrose it's a little bit different there's a difference because she only wants to focus on the inner body feel your body and then this meditation going a little bit on a higher level which that's not for trauma victims that's ready once you're stabilized and you know why because the ANSYS coaching is called co-active coaching we don't tell what to do we ro tell when I was talking this weekend with parents I never tell them what to do I listen to them I just make them an awareness did you hear what you just said do you aware that this and this happened and when I'm talking about the child who talked about the parent itself are you aware I know the story about it they're about the child I know I'm familiar I'm ready do you realize it attracted an energy it isn't this happened in your childhood it attracted an energy and you never worked in it subconsciously you're not even conscious it's it's kicking in you and it's going over to children so what I'm saying is so ask me I told me yes if you're gonna get into this I call it a Shikata mode that's called quieting listening to your breath you're gonna find out if this piece of energy the truth the piece of cake can go either way or it's your doing it just retire or you Hamlet to eat the piece of cake it doesn't say they didn't pass the melamine that way if you go over an abundance of certain things what you're doing but these people we have the impression and that's where I see a lot of these teenagers like I told you with the girl that told me the EDA sky I explained to her actually ask me about the cleaning you know how I explained to her what the cleaning for basic means but I had to speak her language and I explained her you know how a Broadway show is prepared there's a lot of work goes in a lot of enthusiasm goes in money the dates the advertisement the excitement there's a lot of things happening and so on so is putting up a Broadway show till it helps people see in the streets the streets are closed off for weeks taking pictures it's going to come out it's going to come out I explained to her Hashem is coming to outside the night and telling us Kindle ah I love you if that's exactly what base of his is the client I never heard this before and she's coming from out diggity diggy steep it was just pressure so the way we are cleaning I'm doing it with love Hashem is coming to me what if I if the president of analysis comes to me I would clean the house make sure it's perfect and put in flowers Shem is coming to me and and every like I said additional shaman knows and who's the client thank you I never heard of this way she's 24 and that's why she did the first year pay seven years because it clicked it clicked so if the self when I'm talking about self care who everything came in before their self-care bodily that can be a massage and which helps the prognosis if you don't feel up to Dominic says start clapping start dancing why he understood how uh nefesh is these rebels didn't hide it they didn't hide it they said it the same thing is the emotional pain the same way you feel good after a massage after a good swim after a treadmill you feel up you feel a high that the adrenaline went into the brain the emotional system works the same way let's identify the body let's identify the color of it let's identify it because we were told not to or we were shamed we're guilty I'm not going to be do well I'm not going to trust me it had nothing to do nothing to do and it's not only and if you think it's only I worked I was with another 24l boy which he was never from because his mother Eddie threw off the shades because of a story whatever happened that's her story but he's ready anteye and he knows that you know she was from and whatever happened again it's a cause and effect something happened with the rabbi in a shul whatever the case is that's not the issue he told me and what I'm gonna point point out is the trauma that the mother had from that story went over to this child brilliant child went to college totally unaffiliated he knows he's Jewish Tatyana Finnegan he told me he didn't know what to do with his day because he had a job from 9:00 to 5:00 he comes on five what am i doing next so he says you know what he's active he started a new business from five to ten and what happened in the end is he made a chain store he has a successful chain store a huge chain store asked her why don't you bring it it's not in the United States why don't you bring it whatever so he has everything the would and you would think and we were working with him at a certain retreat and he had the girlfriend that is begging him already for four years she wants to marry him but she's still around him and he didn't throw away but we were just coaching him or you want her or you don't want a white dragging her along he didn't know how to love and how to be loved because his mother and the minute that we identified it and we took him out of his mouth out of his body he's a certain way again these things are unlocked so everything how we do this but it came out of his body in this case cause it wasn't in here it wasn't CBT it wasn't any talk therapy it was strictly body language and psychotherapy that's in the kicker's the guy was screaming the guy was but it came out and now now all of a sudden he's identifying his Jewish he might want to marry things change but he was the happiest person deriving the most expensive car having a chain store we're talking about 25 to 30 stores and extremely a great idea brilliant mind who wasn't happy what happens with these happy unhappy you can you can have change told you can be you can be in any place on stage at the end of the day we hear the stories so we are not allowed to ignore feelings we're not allowed to ignore anything just another story almost I'm just saying it because things pop in I had a buck her I'm a shifty good boy but he changed his whole wish and it's a little bit whacked up meaning it coming from this the way was going dressed like I told him in oxidation of gosh I'm not sure what what is this it's it's sometimes I tell these sometimes these kids or whoever they are it's sometimes even already more than kids at least be a normal going they're not even a normal boy because the emotions wasn't wasn't in touch I'm not trying to make them Jewish first be healthy then I know it's gonna kick in but first be healthy you know even a healthy going and I and that's that's my words to them the whole persona changes so this boy what we identified it was a great point but you see what came up to any change like weird and sometimes you see these kids is sometimes in our shows different all of you see it they know it it's it's not that we don't have to describe it what was this problem he didn't matter at home if it didn't matter so nobody sees me so nobody sees me I can go whichever way I want to dress that was the things people think the opposite he wanted attention it could be in a one way yes but not oh no his problem was nobody sees me I'm hiding he couldn't even get married because it were wasn't even in his radar system now once we identified it a job he's thinking of marriage okay he's not going to encounter is gonna be a normal and he's going to Darwin he's she's good he's great he's fine even if I don't need him to go with the pace or with with the be normal baby don't you know even sometimes she gonna go and also it happens because and the other guy must attend them you are where we seen it sometimes you can see it on the train and even you know sometimes ago even extremely even appropriate where a police officer will tell them this is not the way to go on the subway but again this is all trauma this is all because they're not themself the focus of it here is that's what I told for this Rebbe about the cake once you're gonna know what self is who self is now self is not your job when you ask when I have somebody whose self is I've always tried to ask them who are you what are you it's not your name it's not your job it's not what you identify you can have a change so it's not you you see that it's not you this boy was not his job he had successfully had the most expensive cars I met a stockbroker like this driving the most I want to take his life and over there I know for sure the problem was right I was sitting there actually with my wife and wife says and it was at the same time he has a national problem he is coming from her farm home the neshamah in him was kicking the percent Cerebus has in his one of his forum and I always telling a light and I mean I'm a constituent that's Arabic meaning he passed away she I mean come domum in in in the war but she's brilliant and it's a lot of places where they mama should live only with that I told it a lot sometimes they come home from shore at night right it's after the sheets after supper it's 11 o'clock and they start opening up the fridge what am I looking for it's okay no sandwich no the coke not that you ate the whole day it's up already you guys I can hear you can what do you why are you opening eleven o'clock but what's going on they think they're hungry they're not hungry something happened I tell think and yeah I'm not saying this I mean this I see it in therapy set services it in a safer identify your day that called introspection look into yourself see self what happened today something is kicking you that you're not happy about look for it and what happened is he doesn't identify the difference between his bodily needs and his emotion only needs that's what the percent Cerebus as a Nutella in therapy this is the biggest thing in consciousness the biggest thing because they don't identify the difference so the same way the end is there is a difference when you're hungry and there's a difference when your emotions is hungry so there's a self care for the body there's a self care for the emotions so most of us will never thought that we had core needs and desires this is not the thing that is being taught let's face it we're honest if you're not vulnerable you will not grow it's painful yes but it's sweet in the end our responsibilities was not that and it wasn't our responsibilities so we were not even thought in a healthy way how our desires should be taken care of in every different way our our belief system our feelings of you see sometimes in a lot just come in at like robots turning the fill in the morning they're not home again they putting her - no but it has such a taste like if you don't if you want to run out earlier you have to catch and drop it but at least a minute that you turning thrilled sometimes you're gonna see they're gonna put it doesn't if I put in the mouth bring them off why there's a can't be connected connect cetera but also and an attention to Newark that tells us that showing Jacques lift my head filler this is not this is much more before before the possessor what is that showing Jacques lift net villa after at Villa why because it says you won't doubt me going into the king when you going in the hovel to the White House how are you going to come to the drastical to make sure your shoes are shiny everything shall clap you're going in being an awareness now after all who is giving you all you need your breath your food your thoughts in even when I eat that's that's Ashley Shasta meters sometimes messes up yes not sometimes we mess up more than I mess up are enough everybody does I mess up but at least I don't feel guilty about it but I'm going to be ashamed because I did something wrong and what is shame I'll tell you some in the Torah there's no word for the word guilt there's no such word entire guilt there's a word boost be sure Tsuruta and the osseous of beitia is the osseous of shove shove means Cheever going back if you're doing introspection you're looking into yourself that achieve achieve is not only clapping your head because if you don't know what's going on and within yourself with the chief and chiba goes on on a daily basis to Deacon used to do it on a daily evening on a daily day that's where meditation comes in you being focused the shouldn't buyers changes if you even I'm not talking about how social on that resume bias is not good but this ain't stuff where you can get to this in software you can get to just and I tell you at the end Sophie no sham is the anus of and I don't even I can't even explain into words what consciousness says but conscience conscience is just and to the high level of consciousness consciousness is your communicator between you and Asha because when I stumble are yourself some people say I my mind I might you not your thoughts you not your mind you know soma you're getting a message that's where desire comes in that's where something comes into you and that's what you have to take it to work and feelings if somebody nobody is gonna make you feel angry nobody's gonna make even though they did something to you thereby Shem Tov says when he saw trauma Kusum not being somebody was screaming at me he saw he knew that anything that he saw even though he was quiet when I'm ashamed and later he saw something in his life and says the way that I go wrong he made an introspection oh he that time at that time he wasn't he was listening something from I thought of his method Shambhala shame the tantrum he didn't stick up for him which is allaha he right away identified it we we did he used to go to buy shampoo all the stories in the woods why connected the universe connect what the whole Hashem made the world cloud practically cloud means Hashem was one and Kabbalah they make this zero there's different ways how to and then he put in man he made it up inside the circle but why did he make the world he wanted a give in order to give you need somebody to give to initial advice that's the biggest thing don't expect anything back just by giving that's the love that is widow experience the love by giving that's where the love is whatever happens I have to to have nothing to do with this this is the experience Hashem created world he made man and then he saw man by himself cannot be he made her and a partner they work together the two halves became one whole but then he created the whole world that's cloud prop the cloud we know cloud and actually that's the zora talks about it and that is the way Hashem made we have to we have to connect to other people in the in one way but is also self so in order to get to a shammy go cloud which he made cloud it's everything it's the trees it's your family it's whoever is around you which was Erica this by the way says that your parents are picked your children you picked yourself you all pick the diviner bhai says that you all picked your lives yourselves I tell us sometimes to couples you're under the Hopa these are potential Hashem did not make a mistake yes we know in the torrid is something cold you know but it's not the first choice there's bias cries when that happens but the choice is there is a potential there's a child born as definitely potential work with it it's not the earth of Schumann's I don't have to say there's no bias receptionist said about I'm just going focused on self so some cloud craft or your own and then back to cloud into the higher consciousness where I shall want you to connect with the whole world they says so they can never even pulled down a leaf from a tree because they were connect they knew that this is something that is living it's here everything has a cause and effect we see that science we see that think of all of you see the succeed this is a cause-and-effect and everything that you do if you know it or if you don't know it I remember once up north my makers of el mozo once said because he was being cleared of and he did a satire and everything he said he once told me you going to the coastal mm even though you don't know yet at that time I was young Baja you don't know the method of Asia tour in a theatre he says by you diving here by the coastal as a good leadership of her so in the cause-and-effect you don't know who's coming and seeing you it resonated with me sometimes this is my kid sometimes I go I go to different states I am Who am I I myself I don't then people come over to me this that the other things that happened in my life where I am put me into a lot of different cities states countries for various different the magento says that you don't go for a place so not for you know you think the reason is for this one for something else but I'm just came I remember I was I was in business many years and went with my wife on start trade show to different city and we had a an old guy had a booth right across of us and the whole time he was staring at us staring at us staring at us was an alien wife asked maybe he's a Nazi or I should we were much younger at that time and I said so what do you care whatever it is it is then it turned out it was an old Italian going and the funniest thing is when the show the trade show ended he comes over to us you know what he tells us I was admiring you for three days you look like a different culture and the way you were talking between yourself the way you were conducting between customers then I figured out this is why I'm sent me in this date it things that sub copy cause an effect cause an effect now I want to teach you a concept and when we're talking I read a lot of these rocks like the one of them were self-reliance so I'm going to point her out first in a mission er that's not what I learned in coaches what what I connected it to that because I guess sometimes I like to connect specially talking to I'm showing them to understand where it's coming from everything is monitory self-reliance could mean two things in one way like I said is an antenna you can go right or left self-reliance could me I am something co-discovered si UD which is wrong that's not the right way to do it that's not that's not the either self-reliance and eat neither in coaching because coaching Manish is taken off the took Tyler and they made a coaching a way of life the Mishna says in eine Neely mealy Ke$ha Neela asked me money so I'm gonna give you a little bit of a different touch on that in I nearly if I don't know who self is meanly then Who am I who am i if I don't know who self is like a shame s Odom I echo where we're selfish i Neela asks me when I know who self is Omani then I can be for the world I could help I could help family I can help everybody that's what self-reliance means so I'll give you the meanings what are self-reliance healthy person is and how a the opposite from self-reliance is victim mode I'm just gonna give you a few examples as lots of examples what it means how to operate that way a self-reliance is usually an initiative self-reliance starts with a personal initiative keeps initiative and ends with initiative self-reliance must be developed and learned it doesn't grow as your body grows because your body grew but self-reliance was not taught to you when you were a child because the only taught you how to wash yourself how to clean yourself how to behave certain manners but that's it that's where self-reliance comes in you have to go for coaching in order to know what self-reliance is to identify with itself self-reliance means that you always look at another person that the other person is magnificent just to give you a few short examples and what is it magnificence the teacher what magnificence is is much more than the moment of experiencing you greatness although that is magnificence magnificence is allowing your sadness to show and to deal with it magnificent also feeling the moment of anger it's not that you're not gonna get angry know that you're angry now know that something happened now face it connect with it I'm giving you I'm again it's late I see that my time is almost up so I'm just giving you certain small guidelines of that I'm just gonna finish just to give you we're talking about victim mode and what my cells around the opposite just to show you self-reliant in what way is my best interest that's where self-reliant first in what would looks like in what way is my best interest a victim mode is will this lead me to success or failure how can I keep my in equities and becoming a parent this is hundreds of examples where self-reliant mind works the way a victim mode works and this reflects in the energy goes through let's not hide that we have desires to be loved to be heard to be respected to be protected to be seen and I'll conclude the way I told her over to my children after Seder and have a little bit of picture what what it comes from a consciousness and these things happen just by you do meditation things come up I was once on I just two things right that happened to me and I'm in a meditative state just to show where Shane gave me a message I used to be and I'm still am but I'm doing it now from a different place a huge searcher I didn't know what I was searching but I was learning everything looking reading books from Torah to Bach and then I was asked me what am I looking for I was I was missing part of self when I found that self oh this is my mission this is not no one knew exactly I came to a location and I how did I get to that point and I saw and yesterday he said it seed him donor enough well I disagree I do learn enough and I resonate with the mellah the emotion since I learned them what I'm Alex Mike tell him is a totally different to hello learn what how emotional the demeanor was how he identified his emotions from the day that he was born up until his last day it's just amazing something else comes to my mind which I'll just talking about the word MLF which is a huge thing mirroring we'll get to that in a second mirroring because whatever you do you are mirroring whatever happened to you in your subconscious mind that you're not aware of these traumas what we call them is mirroring in your house now in a different and in coaching we are taught and the same thing as my somatic experience every type of therapy we mirror back what the what the client says because that's the way we resonate but I'll tell you how do we the malecon a shamble mirroring but I'll tell you first develop his emotions was was was extremely collected and put together I'm not sure where I want to go with that but I lost my thought on that when I'll go to the mirroring for it or they say tonight and say they're not to have it ask me the last thing but oh I know ready that would the malleus what you wanted to say said and we say it every day in hoiding that's when I was after the search and I used to ask then I started to ask myself I had to hear at least ten sheera my day and then I came to a my telephone book do I need to am I like a tour anytime I need to know every sheet that's what I mean or everything what's happening till I identified where the problem is and I saw I'm the search we're all on the search know what you're searching for because it says we say and this is what came to me when I was doing a meditation says this is the message for my shaman Manish and why I connected to the malecon I said this he says yes mark slavin of Accession happy is the heart that is looking for Hashem this sheis MV easily keep on talking and searching and is still not finished and Bakshi phone off to me till the last day of your life keep on talking connecting and it's a yearning what is this unique that when I did my patient I said the yearning is the neshamah is yearning time so it's not it's like the sandwich like the possessor ever says it's not that what are you hungry for you're hungry for a sham and identify to live with this more that's the void you learn you look that stop Boyd and since then I'm extremely peaceful I'm a sure I I was much that was that was that going the mirroring practice mm Alex was running for three days away from shawl and he didn't have food the last day the plastic says he came to know if your economy walked into the Mishkan and it was so hungry he asked gimme lesson upon him he's a he's not a coin he's not allowed to eat it the specimen says and it Bostick says it was still hot after three days it was baked ready after three days so Sam's ask the question why does the plastic say it was after three days or after seven days take up color from the oven after one hour it's cold it's finished it's over why it was happy says says for samus has a morally good thing as you see how the silicon said wetter but as you see where I pick her up in the therapeutic manner you know what he said Hashem was mirroring back you are thinking about in these three days he didn't have food you were in danger sure wanted to kill you he didn't forget about me you were looking for me that's why you're still hot that's why this life opponent was still hot this is for Samus but this is truth why not when you get here - on the sheet the story will not connect the story it's a nice board good attentive and I'm going to go home but take the vault and you cash it in these words these are the words that state stay with me going to the Seder we do a seder car - it hurts karpas I told my children we don't see them because I saw what's going on here what is the last thing we were getting too near so what is near - you want to be wanted and loved by Hashem the highest and what do we do afterwards we're going to Shira Shira and talking about love to Hashem and the way he manifests the whole machine and yes in between there's a murder and these are rocked so you have to wash it I can give you propping the whole thing they want me to finish there's a market you have to tell his story but the ultimate goal where do we want to get to near it so some should help there's always a target in there - and she have shown a bias should have good kids should come all back home and a sham battalion should bring us all home and she can't even hear me man you owe me