Just be YOU - don't pretend to be something you are not - Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] a lot of people what's going on in their mind right now is that we were busy in the last seven weeks building up from PES to sh was this long period of which really it's like almost three months of preparation going all the way back to puim it's like as if we had a party knowing that now we're going to have 3 months of hard work soem says okay go get drunk enjoy yourself now there's going to be a whole month of preparing for PES which is usually a very hard month with the cleaning and all the preparation and then from P till we're busy with it's a Mitzvah from the Torah it's a very simple Mitzvah takes five minutes but everything is around the OM and every day we climbing another day and another day and another day and the ones who take it serious and we learned a lot about and what you can achieve and what it means and a lot of people take it very serious and their day is going on this buildup every day there's another day and another day and then comes the Highlight comes sh what and a few cheesecakes and that's it and it's over and now what what do you do now I already got into this mindset that every day I have to work on myself and I have to climb and all the teachings that we had about and a lot of people say okay but now what do I do I mean that's it I'm back to normal what do I have to work on now and we got so used to the fact that we were going in a certain motion and every day I'm climbing higher and higher that I found a lot of people asking me what do we do now I mean technically we were very busy we constantly busy with things now I have quiet almost half a year till the next holiday so I heard a joke on chat after we were eating like pounds of choc of cheesecakes and ice cream then somebody said you know why there's no holiday from sh till to lose all the calories from all the cheesecakes so it's also we're getting a break in our diet but it kind of seems like we're going into the summer now and usually in the summer the temperature gets hot usually also the also gets hot with the temperature in the winter you kind of hibernate in your in your home and it seems like there's a as a climb a climb and a climb and a climb and a high and and now you fall down so I want to just talk about something that one of course should should apply and what's really the point of the giving of the Torah and what needs to be to be applied with that of course on the simple level one needs to acquire the Torah and live the life of the Torah I mean spiritually we receive the the Torah yes we went out of MIT it signifies the fact that I am born into a state of limitation that's why we were born in Egypt and we were not brought into Egypt that's one of the many reasons why it had to be so many generations in Egypt because to make sure that it's obvious and clear that we are born in Exile we are born slaves and that's for me to understand that I'm born with my limitations and I have to go out of my limitation our sages say that every generation we have to see ourselves like as if we come out of MIT butat says no we have to see ourselves every day like we go out of the every day I have to see like I went out of MIT out of my state of limitation so the holiday of of P it signifies not necessarily an historical event that happened 3,000 years ago rather is the fact that I live in a state of limitation ation and I constantly have to go out of my limitation and where why do I do that where do I go I strive to get the Tor and on T maybe we got it physically once but every year we get it spiritually so if you're looking in a very general way then we just received the Torah last week now apply it there's 63 mitv plus seven mitv from our sages apply it start living your life in the in the way of the Torah to the best of your ability you have to eat koser you have to observe Shabbat you have to to stop yourself from doing many things lying cheating and so forth but that's on the surface now most people when it comes to the Torah they they they have a problem with really following the Torah 100% because it's not so simple to be honest it's not a simple thing it's a lot of demand you can't do this you can't do that you have to do this you have to do that don't eat this don't eat like this don't eat like that it's seemingly not a simple thing especially when you're not born into it and then you have to start changing now a lot of things you do gladly because it fits very well with your agenda some things you do very easily because it's just your nature and then you reach a certain block that you're saying that's a way way beyond my ability and totally against my nature and then you start developing all the anti why shouldn't I do this and why shouldn't I do that but really not to Shalom complain following the Torah is not a simple thing amen it's not a simple thing there's a lot of rules a lot of laws you know I can't sneeze without being afraid that maybe I did something wrong it's not simple and many people have a problem with the fact just to follow the Torah that's one problem in itself that many people struggle with then comes a whole different thing in the Torah that causes even more of a problem to serve AEM is because the Torah comes in many different types of definitions and unfortunately since the years as they were passing by some things were added some things were changed and it became to a point that the Torah became very boxed and very defined and if you don't do this then you out and this is not the way of the Torah and that's very dominating in our generation that if you don't fit a certain path then you're not following the Torah and if you don't belong to a certain group or if you don't follow a certain Rabbi or you then you then you you you can be a loner and you have to follow the rules the healthy part of it is that we do have a lot of rules the Tor is about rules it keeps us under an umbrella of rules but there are many rules that are added which are not the rules from the Torah and here at we're we're added all sorts of things that has nothing to do with the Torah and what it causes it is it causes the pressure that I have to fit into my community or I have to fit into this congregation or I have to fit and if I don't then the community will will kick me out or I'm I'm different or I'm not going to belong anywhere and this is not part of the Torah the Torah doesn't come with the pressure that I have to go through certain guidelines the Torah says no these are my rules and my rules are to benefit you and not to make your life hard if the Tor tells me don't eat these animals is is not to make my life harder or to annoy me is to say these animals are not good for you spiritually they will harm you teachings of cabala explains that everything in the world has a a Godly spark that enlivens it and some Sparks if they will meet each other so to say there will be a short circuit so if The Godly spark that is in my body will now get connected with a Godly spark that enlivens a camel or a pig or whatever it is that is is not cure what's going to happen in the spiritual level is a short circuit it's going to hurt me and it's going to hurt me in a way that I won't recognize that it's hurting me so I'll become very depressed I'll become very anxious I'll become I'll have anxiety I'll have nightmares whatever it is I'm not going to connect it to the food to Gentile also to Gentile Gentiles don't have to have a problem with kosher but they have their mitv but they when they they can eat pig a gentile can eat a pig the The Godly spark that is in the N of a gentile does not get affected by their Godly Spark by an uncer animal therefore they're not obligated to eat scosher but they're obligated in many other things this is one example out of many the point to take from that is the Torah gives me a set of rules not to make my life hard Torah gives me rules it's more like precautions don't do this it's going to be a problem it's almost like me coming now and telling my child don't put your hand in the electricity socket you'll you'll get electrified electrocuted don't put your hand on the stove you'll get burned don't scream too loud between two and 4 You somebody's going to scream back at you whatever I'm just at least here in Israel two and four is that's it everybody's taking a there so the point is that I tell my kids don't do this and don't do that and more than that it's not only me telling my kids you have a manufacturer that g sells you an item you buy now a new iPhone 8 iPhone 9 or whatever number it's holding now I think it's iPhone 7 I lost count so the manufacturer tells you don't put your phone in the water even though I saw now an ad that their phones now that you can put them in the water but the manufacturer tells you don't do this don't do that don't do this if you do this it will you would lose your warranty we will not cover the damage hasem tells you don't do this do that these are the rules of the Torah but there's one thing that is missing that is not stressed enough when the Torah was given the zor says that there were millions of people there it doesn't say a number but we calculate we derive from the the information that there was about 3 million people getting the Torah how do we get to this number because it says that there were 600 men from the age of 20 till the age of 60 so if we have 600,000 men most likely most of them are married let's assume they're all married so that's another 600,000 women that's already 1.2 million assuming that they have three kids an average family that's another 1.8 million so a quick calculation brings us to about 3 million people probably there was much more because it's not counting older kids and it's not counting the elderly above the age of of 60 a rough calculation you're looking at about six 3 million people you know what's 3 million people that's half of Israel standing there and getting the Torah more than that this is a rough calculation this very easily can be five six million more than that all the nations were there everybody was there now when the Torah was given it was given on har on a mountain the mountain is round which which means that there are people standing all around the mountain not they weren't standing like a in a row seeing the mountain they're all around the mountain which means that the Torah was shown and given multi-dimension people were standing on this side of the mountain but on the other side of the mountain exactly across them there were more people so technically one sees the front one sees the back but one of the Miracles was that everybody they were standing in the diameter of the mountain saw the exact same thing and the Z explains that the millions of the people that were at the time of the giving of the Torah each one heard the Torah completely different there are six 3 to six million versions of the Torah so even if we go to the lowest number 3 million it was heard in three million different ways the exact way that right now you will take a group of people and you'll take a sheet of colors each person sees the colors completely different I can see the blue in A Certain Shade and you would say it's not even blue it's purple tell no it's blue no it's purple and you see that in many different colors you can think that it's orange I'll tell you no it's pink it's Peach why because the shade is look looks completely different besides the fact that here comes a very big question who said that the color blue everybody sees it blue who made the color blue because technically if you want to explain what's Happening Here how do we able to see something because there are rays of light beams of light and the beam of light is shining on something that allows me to see it because if there wouldn't be a beam of light I would not see it what's the proof to that turn the light off you're not going to see nothing if it's in the middle of the night close the windows close the lights you're not going to see nothing meaning that in order for me to see something I need light the beams of light allow me to see something so right now doesn't matter right now if the light comes from the light bulb or from the Sun the concept of light the Ken or the beam of light is carrying the information from one place to the other I mentioned that a few times the teachings of Kavala explains that we actually don't even see anything rather everything in the world has a neish a soul even an animates even rocks they have a soul and the souls interact with each other and my soul now will interact with all of your souls and my soul is delivering the information to your soul and you think that you hear me and you think that you see me and you think that we're all here but it's really all happening in the level of our soul that the souls are interacting with data and the example for that in our generation is computers that computers communicate with each other all day long you now go with a credit card to a store and you'll swipe the credit card instantly within a split second it's sending a message to a computer in the bank to see if you have credit and if you have credit how much is your credit if you have money in your bank account don't have money in the bank instantly you get an answer back the credit card was declined or approved what really happened here one computer communicated to another computer that computed to another computer the commun there just communication through the computers it's all data the computer doesn't say do you know Moshe doesn't even know Moshe it's numbers everything is numbers it's a code and the computers communicate with each other all day long and they never they don't see each other they don't know each other the computer doesn't have an imagination how the other computer looks it's all sheets of information it's data and you see that on a daily base now you millions of people as we speak are now texting each other how is this information being transferred from one device to the other how does my phone know that you just sent me a smiley with a tongue going like that it's code there's no smilees the phone doesn't know oh right now he's sending me three smilees and three thumbs up how does the phone know to Comm you're talking about billions of these smilees every second flying in the universe let's assume that there's about I'm being very very very conservative half a billion phones in the world you're talking about half a billion smilees F flying from each other every day dozens of times data is being transferred from one phone to the other you think the phone knows how you look or how Smiley looks it's all data data that been transferred from one place to another and there's no shape there's no colors there's no forms it's just a code same idea that's how the souls communicate the souls don't have a shape the souls don't have a name the souls don't have colors but they communicate so technically right now we're not really sitting here you don't really hear me you don't really see me my soul now is interacting with all your souls and transferring you right now the data and you so to say dissecting on analyzing the data and the data tells you right now Alan is sitting in front of me and his suit is black and his white shirt is white who says this is white maybe it's not white what determines the fact that it's white so not to go too far into the philosophy of explaining that but the point is that in order for me to see something must be a light a beam of light that carries that data from one side to the other and that explains how we don't see the colors the exact same way I see this color A Certain Shade of blue it doesn't mean you see it identical to me and nobody will ever know you cannot go into my system and know how I see this shade of blue same idea we all heard the Torah millions of souls heard the Torah each one heard it completely different completely completely different so technically there are millions of ways to see the Torah now one should not take from it a very wrong approach by saying okay I see the Tor how I see it I'll do it how I want it that's already is heresy this is no I can't do that that's why the Torah came with a whole list of rules that you're not going to start interpreting how you want it therefore right away we got the Torah in writing and then after that the Torah the oral tor so when it comes and tells me that I have to eat a kosher animals it tells me which are the kosher animals and when it comes to tell me to observe the Shabbat it tells me let me tell you what it means to observe Shabbat and when the Torah comes and tells me not to kill not to steal it comes right away and tells me whoa whoa who don't start developing all sorts of ideas this is what the Torah meant and don't start reforming the Torah don't start distorting the Tor but one thing that one needs to take from the fact that the Torah was given basically it was given to all of us as one but it was given to each one separately meaning that I have a separate I have a unique I have a unique relationship with the Kos my relationship with the Kosh is unique there's nobody else that has this relationship I mean you cannot compare it but take a father or of a mother of a few kids and you have a a totally different relation ship with each kid and for example I have six kids each kid is a completely different relationship it's a totally different person they like different things they have different sense of humor one kid I could do this one kid I do that it's a completely different relationship from all of them when we're all sitting around the table it's a a form of a family it's the Dynamics of the family but when I'm oneon-one with each kid the kid is completely different and it's a completely different relationship one kid you're more strict one kid you're more silly one kid you're more lenient one kid you're more strict each one is completely different the same idea is that hm has a completely different relationship with each and every one of us totally different and each and every one of us has a unique connection to Hashem what I need to take from that that hasem says you have to follow the rules of the Torah there's no question here there's no discounts to anybody nobody can come and say oh I don't need to keep these mitv not nothing to do with me that's why this is a big mistake especially in our generation that people you tell them the word Torah or religion or Judaism they right away in their image see a person with long PE a beard black suit and a hat and if you not that that's no that's the Torah right away people associate that's religion which the downside of it is that unfortunately many of the ones with the beards and the suits and the behave so disgraceful so people come and say that's the Torah that's not for me I don't want to and it's a misconception it's not true but coming from from a a very secular background my opinion on Judaism and the Torah I associated and places like that that's the Torah so when I saw people behaving in a very weird way or extreme violent way or disgusting way I've said oh that's the Torah I I want to do part of I don't have anything to do with it really the Torah is colorful there are many many rules but one cannot associate the Torah with a group and saying okay they represent the Torah nobody has the power to say I represent the Torah that's why the Torah was given in the desert because the desert is a place of heare anybody can come and take it the Torah is for everybody everybody can come and take whatever they want from the Torah and it belongs to everybody it doesn't belong one person cannot say I belong the Torah belongs to me I represent the Torah I you have to do what I say that's the wrong way basically what we need to take from that is something very simple that hasem says yes you have to go by the guidelines of the Torah but you have to be you you have to be yourself you have to shine in the light that I want you to shine in the shade how you look and this is one thing that became a very big misconception in Judaism is that you have to fit a certain mold and if you don't fit the mold then you don't belong and what happens is that some fit in the mold and they attach themselves to a group and they're fine with that good you're fine with that good some don't many people don't want to fit in that mode they don't fit in I don't want to dress like that I don't want to talk like that I don't want to sing your song I don't want to behave like you do it means that I don't follow the Torah anymore I don't have where to go because you defining the Tor in a certain way it's good for you it doesn't me good for me and that's the problem is that unfortunately the majority of the God-fearing or the Torah observing people the majority of am is is not observant it's a minority we might look like there's a lot of Orthodox or or cidic or whatever you want to call them I don't like all these definitions to start with but it's a minority of am Israel we spoke about it on Shabbat and a lot of people evaluate that there's about 16 to 20 million Jews in the world I don't even know where what they're basing the number on but that's the evaluation and I think it's totally off I think we about 80 to 100 million Jews easily there's much more Jews than we think it cannot be that we're so little and and and the the proof to that look now in America in North America with a simulation and after the Holocaust 80% of the Jews in America they don't even know the Jewish and every day you find you're fooling them out and they F starting to find out they're Jewish hundreds of thousands of Jews were left in Europe in the Holocaust and they were hiding in so many places that they lost their their identity they don't even know the Jewish just this Shabbat we had a beautiful Shabbat meal and four young men came to join us and I don't know all the guests but as they're coming in we're greeting them all in these four young individuals I talk to them what's your name where are you from one guy says I'm from Australia I says oh really my mom is Australian where are you from he tells me I'm from Sydney like really and he tells me who's your family so I start telling him Freedman walber and then I say another name CU that's my last name who's your family so I name mentioned the name he's like that's my father like my second cousin that I know the parents very well but I you know they live on the other side of I never met I met him when he was a kid so my second cousin is joining me for a meal on Shabbat and just goes to show you how we're so far away but we're all so connected but why am I mentioning him because so many times I mention a certain relative that I have who is his grandmother and many times I mentioned that I have a a a my mother's cousin in the Holocaust as they were running they needed to save the kids so they put her in in a church they just walked in she was in a basket whatever it is they just threw her there and they ran away after the war they came to look for her and they couldn't find her after many years they finally found her she was already a young teenager the family didn't want to give her up they're like she's her daughter we're not giving her finally they were they they they did give her away half of her life she grew up in a Catholic Church Church she didn't even know she's Jewish suddenly when she's 12 somebody comes and tells her you my daughter and you're Jewish like that there thousands and thousands of Jews were left in Europe and it's everywhere talk about the anim and and you know they say now after the Spanish Inquisition they say now every six Spaniard is Jewish going out to Spain every sixth person is a Jew I always tell the same story that my my father was born in Lebanon my grandparents are from Syria but they lived in Lebanon and about a hundred years ago give or take unfortunately it was very common that the girls would get kidnapped Jewish girls they would kidnap them and sell them to to Sheiks and tribes so my great great grandfather had had a brother who had a daughter that was kidnapped and there wasn't FBI there wasn't police they couldn't find her then they just lived with the fact the child disappears many years later one of the family members was on a business trip and he found her in Jordan and she was already grown up she was already married she had two kids they sell them they they get married very young now this is not the type of place that you can come and say that hey hey she's ours they give her back they're sold to these tribes it's called Kula and you know you say the wrong word your head gets disattached from your body faster than you can blink you can talk to the you can reason with these people so the reality is that somewhere in Jordan maybe they migrated to Iraq or Saudi Arabia I have cousins distant cousins it's my great-grandfather and it's not that that's just one case there are millions so are millions of Jews scattered all over the world they don't even know they're Jewish and unfortunately on the other hand there are many people that think they're Jewish and not even Jewish there's a big mishmash right now and very soon mhia is going to come and going to start pointing at everybody and tell who's Jewish and who's not Jewish from which tribe you come from and so forth the point to take from that is that the minority of our nation is observant it just looks like a lot it's not and there are so many Jewish people that they are not coming close to the Torah because they feel that's what's projected that if they don't fit in the box they're not welcomed and they will come to certain congregation and if you don't behave like us pray like us dress like us you have no place here now coming from a very secular background that's what causes people to be discouraged I don't want to well I have to dress like you I have to behave like you if I don't behave like you it doesn't mean I'm Jewish I can't follow the Torah because I don't want to behave like you and it's a source of discouragement for many many people because they feel that they have to fit a certain criteria comes the Torah and says no the Torah was given to millions of people and each one heard it completely different yes we got the the rules together the rules you cannot change but you have to shine in your light you have to be unique to yourself and the problem with many people is that they trying to be something they're not and this is what causes them not to be able to bridge into the connection of the Torah because when you try to be something you're not then you don't feel comfortable where you are and in our generation everybody has to belong in a group what you're not in a group people always come and tell me what are you what am I but I have to come with a tag what are you which group are you I don't belong to anybody I belong to the Kosh why do I need to belong to a group and if I don't belong to a group I'm not accepted I'm not a good Jew why do I have to belong to a group and that's the most common question I get everywhere what are you so I'm a human being like you I have two hands and I have a head you also have a head and two hands and a body you're also a human being I don't go and ask people what are you and the problem is that some people that's good for them good you like being in the group stay in the group makes you feel comfortable makes you feel yourself very good grow in the Torah but the majority of people don't want to be boxed they don't want to Bel do I need to belong to somebody if I don't belong to somebody that I don't I I can't follow the Torah and this is a very big problem especially in our generation then the why is it a problem cuz it's discouraging people from becoming closer to the K now again it's a very important fact that one cannot distort the Torah people might come and say oh you're basically telling me I can do whatever I want no that's not what I'm saying I'm saying the Tora is very clear and the Tora is for everybody if the Tor says don't kill it's don't kill doesn't matter what's your background the doesn't say don't kill if you're originate from this country it says simple don't kill say says observe Shabbat I have to observe Shabbat doesn't matter where I came from doesn't matter how I want to call myself people are calling I'm Orthodox I'm kdic I'm modern Orthodox what who came with all these definitions I have to be defined somebody once told me oh you Orthodox I said I'm not Orthodox don't call me Orthodox I'm a God foring Jew I follow the Torah don't box me in a category I don't like the word orthodox but you Orthodox look how religious you are I said I follow the Torah I am a God-fearing Jew that's it I follow the Torah don't put me in a category don't call me cidic don't call me Orthodox don't call me blackhe hat don't call me blue hat don't call me anything call me alone and if you want to Define me I'm a Jew that keeps the Torah and the sad part is that it has to go if there's no definition you know when people come to marry which is he from this group is she from that group who cares what group is he in if he's belonging to that group it means it's a less of a better person so the problem is that one cannot take you to an extreme and say I'll do whatever I want we're all the same the Torah was given equally to everybody if the Torah tells me you have to observe Shabbat everybody has to observe Shabbat if the Torah tells me I have to pray everybody has to pray everybody has to eat kosher everybody has to prevent themselves from lying and cheating and saying there's no difference when I go to lectures gave me this to go and stand in front of thousands of people and I don't come with this attitude that you have to become like me I will get zero results from the crowd if I will have to start preaching and telling you have to become me I don't say that I say you have to become observant you have to follow the Torah we're equal you want to wear a black suit wear a black suit you want to wear a blue suit wear a blue suit you want to wear yellow shirt you can wear a yellow shirt wear whatever you want but don't steal and don't cheat and don't lie and don't say hasm doesn't care if your shirt is pink or white and the problem is that most rabbis or people who represent the to says no if you not this criteria no and this is the line where there's a problem because we need to bring closer first I need to bring myself closer first of all and if I have issues with myself where do I belong or I'm not standing up to the quality of my community or I start developing also the issues with myself I'm not good enough oh I should dress like this because everybody going to see me right now and what are they going to think of me my shirt is not like everybody's shirts and my my yamaka is not the same color o now I'm going to be tagged now he's wearing a white yamaka he's outcast best from our community and people are in this race of oh I have to look like everybody because if I dress a little bit different oh I'm going to be the black sheep I'm going to out I'm going to stand out in the community and the problem is that it causes a lot of confusion Within Me W I have to I'm under pressure right now more than that I have to outreach to other people how am I going to present the Torah when I'm coming with these harsh rules as it is we have enough rules I have to come with more rules the problem is is that we just received the Torah and the question arises okay now I got the Torah now what I have to internalize that each and every one of us got the Torah we're all there Hashem doesn't see us separately he doesn't see us in Shades try to Once tap into the mind of the K you think he sees us different he's not we're all equal to him 100% equal you think he sees us as a number or as a shape or height or my skin complexion in hashem's eyes we are 100% equal I think I see my kids differently my kids each one looks completely different some families the kids are like a mold they all look the same my kids each one is completely different they don't even resemble each other you put them all together you can't even think that they're the same family one has a brown hair one Blonde one Fair one dark and they're all completely different characters totally different they're not even res there's not even one quality that resembles the other you think I like one of them better than the other I think I see them different okay you are higher you are taller I'm going to give you more food you I'm going to give Less in the allowance it's I'm I'm I'm hoping that there's not a parent that does that I see them completely different and they are different and I treat them equally it is true that one is a little bit more serious so I have I don't have to be so strict with him the other one is a little bit more uh uh sh is you know he has to be hold a little bit more tight yes I do treat them different in how I educate them one has a more free hand my one I give much more responsibility the other one is a little bit less responsible I have to put my eye on him more yeah that's totally normal that I the the way I interact with them is different but at the end of the day in the quality of love and how I see them they're totally equal I will never dare to give one more than the other or think oh he's better than the other he's getting straight A and he's not such a good student same idea you think hasem looks at us differently I think he says oh he puts fing more than this guy I'm going to like him more this is nonsense I think hasem has distinguishes in sh okay he's a lie he lies more she's more modest she doesn't even look at that he sees us completely equal of course he deals with a different a person is a little bit more responsible so hasem is a little bit more lenient with that person one person is a little bit more Reckless soem might be more strict with that person but at the end of the day hm sees us equally no distinguish and hasm says I want you to be the same he I want you I don't want you to think that you're better than somebody else we're all equal but more than that hasm says to us in a very simple way be you don't be somebody else don't pretend you're somebody you're not and most people they might not acknowledge it but they at some level they're pretending to be something they're not just be yourself walking to the show however you want to be dressed as long as you that you're covered you are modest that's it there's no fashion here and the problem is that people are under the pressure that I have to fit and if I don't fit then I'm um I don't belong and a lot of people maybe are scared to to to agree with it or to say you're right but deep down inside you go somewhere and you're not from the same group you feel uncomfortable take now a person from one group put them in another group very few will feel comfortable they'll be like oh you know I'm just different you know they they cover the hair like that I cover my hair like this or I don't even cover my hair how many people feel comfortable in other places now very few places are warm enough to say come in as you want you are a precious Soul you're welcome here you're not different than me maybe I learned one hour more T than you but you're not different than me I'm sure you are much better than me in many many things the point is now not to really concentrate on how I'm reflecting out rather I'm reflecting in and a lot of people have a problem that they pretend to be somebody they're not and they're building these masks and and this is very unhealthy you have to be yourself you have to be you sh says I want you to follow the Torah 100% no discounts but be you be yourself you want to sing sing you want to dance dance don't think that you have to dance by the music of the community around you it's a big mistake not too long ago we have one individual here that is part of our community and one day not too long ago I see him with a shiny blue yamaka and I was like oh I like your yamaka it's very shiny in blue as he told me yeah you said to be me so I'm me I don't want to go with a black yamaka it's not me and and you told me be yourself so I'm going with a blue yamaka that's what I want to I want to go with a blue yamaka and I said good you should be you you should be comfortable and happy to wear a blue yamaka and not feel pressured to go into a Shool with a black yamaka cuz everybody was a black yamaka good make a statement You' be you be a God-fearing Jew follow the Torah in your colors don't pretend because what happens is when I'm pretending to fit in the community then I'm putting on myself this fakeness and you know what would be the result that it will start manifesting that I'm not myself suffocate yeah he I suffocate but I'm finding myself I will find myself that I'm not myself and then I feel fake and then I feel that I'm I'm what am I pretending so maybe my entire about that AEM is fake who am I fooling who am I pretending when I'm pretending to be so great so religious I have students for years they don't dare to tell me once in a blon they come and tell me something that something that is not so nice not too long ago one of one of my students came and told me something and I told him now you're telling me that 6 years I know you now you're telling me that what are you embarrassed to me what you think I'm going to judge you you think I'm going to going to tell you I don't want to be a rabbi because you do this and that how why why did you even hide that from me I told him I'm I'm not I'm a friend even you should feel comfortable to come and tell me listen I have this problem I'm going to help you as much as I can maybe I have the answer for you why you imparis to tell me why you're afraid you're not going to fit in my criteria and I'm going to kick you out of my my Sho what do you think like and people are like so petrified to say something maybe they're going to think of me like this and like that and the point to take from that because we can go on and on and on first we're not going to talk about today how it's affecting the outside world and me as a person that is already in the world of Torah and I understand understand that everybody has to be in this world I will never affect anyone by opposing on them my opinions and my and and my ideas I can come and educate them this is the Torah the Torah is equal for everybody now dress however you want go to whatever sh you want sing whatever you want to sing the approach is not like you have to be equal to me you have to be you and this is not only in the Torah world this can be applied and should be applied in anything even as a parent parents that dictate the rules in the home their kids are going to Rebel the kids are going to go the furthest away I don't want to be like my father I don't want to be in this box be yourself and it trickles into the world of of of the religious world that in in very strict neighborhoods or communities the kids are poor kids I deal with these kids I deal with these teenagers that are rebelling and you know what I hear from them there's one student that I have that is so rebelling his whole body is tattoos this is coming from a big respectful Orthodox family his tattoos on his neck I mean he looks he looks like and this is a result from the parents choking him so much you know what he told me when I first met him I never had a bike I never rode a bike how can you not give a little kid a bike this is this is this is torture he's I never they they never let me play football if there was a bowl somewhere I would kick it oh this is like worse than than eating pork this is how bad things are become that the children they they they don't know how to express themselves and it goes down in the age that even the adults they don't know how to express themselves because they're afraid to say something wrong then I'm going to be outcast from my community I'm going to say something wrong I'm going to dress differently you know I have very good friends they live in New York unbelievable family I have nothing bad to say on this family just amazing good things about them charitable and and and giving and be I have not one thing bad to say about them very very religious very God-fearing very humble and B nothing bad they went to a certain school and they told we them we don't want to accept your child and because they told about the father you don't do a certain thing and the mother you cover your hair different how how we cover our hair we don't want your child what you're not accepting my child to your school because I cover my hair different than you that's not the Torah I cover my hair that's it end the story this is how bad it became and they didn't accept for something minor and really I can guarantee to you that there are much more closer to hem and following the Torah than 90% of the families in that school but you know some places if you're not dancing by my music I don't want you and that's not the Torah the Tor is not about that so we don't want to talk about today about how it's reflecting out rather how it's reflecting in people start becoming confused with themselves when they're hiding behind a mask and if I'm hiding behind a mask we lived in a certain Community my wife and me and our kids for a couple years I didn't like that I was different I'm like I'm not going to behave or dress like everybody here I am me and that is it and it's not making me more or less religious if I'm dressed like you or if I sing like you or if I talk like you and if you think you're more religious than me then okay that's your problem for me it just annoyed me my wife she she couldn't take she that she had to fit and and and that's a problem now what happens that most people they put on the mask and they try to fit into the community and down the line it affects them they feel fake they feel cheated they feel like they're cheating I'm not myself let me be myself why you why do I have to be you I don't have to be you the point that I want to take from that that after I receive the Tor I receive the Tor directly from the he told me these are the rules that you have to do these are the things you don't have to do now be you be yourself shine in your light don't have to pretend you don't have to fit uh a mold As Long as You Follow the Torah that's it how you dress how you pronounce the word how you do it as long as it's in the guidelines of the Torah not giving you a leeway now to start Reinventing things but be yourself and you can shine in your light and you know what when you actually be yourself that's when you're really true to the Kosh and that's when you really grow spiritually there's no fakeness there's no masks I don't have to pretend I don't have to be like you know behaving in a certain way because that's what is expected by everybody I can be myself be yourself be comfortable don't have to be a robot next to other people that's really what we have to concentrate during the time after shab is because I worked so hard I went out of my MIT out of my limitation I refined myself I climbed 49 levels I did my self work I counted by myself I didn't count with everybody together I did my own refinement finally I got I got the Torah yeah we get it as one as a whole but the connection is between me and the Kesh K says don't be fake don't pretend you're somebody you're not be you and that's what it needs to carry me all the way out to the next holiday is I have to concentrate I got the Torah now now I possess the Torah hopefully I was able to receive it on SH now work on being you don't let any pressure coming from any direction being not you and don't let any congregation or group or style put you in a box and say oh I have to be in a box the Torah is not about boxes the Torah is about following the Torah and if you want to follow the Torah certain way good as long as you don't go away from the guidelines of the Torah and the the promise here you will flourish you will be the ultimate you when you are you and hasem likes you as you are he doesn't want when you pretend to be something I hate when my kids pretend they think they need to pretend to be something to be on my good side so they can get get their lollipop one of my kids he thinks that if he will pretend a certain thing I will actually give him what he wants and I keep telling him I will give you what you want when you are true when you are you I know who you are don't pretend don't grow up thinking that you need to pretend to convince somebody be yourself and be true to yourself it will affect you that you are always going to be honest with yourself you're not going to have problems with yourself am I true to myself am I really doing what I'm supposed to do and that's really the message one needs to carry after sh cuz really now in the last half a year every month we were concentrating on one Topic in the month ofan we were learning about kanuka a whole month we were learning about kanuka after that we learned about pu after that a month we learned about P after that a whole month and a half we learned about what are we going to learn about now we have till okay we'll start learning about R what am I going to learn about now what am I going to teach you I don't have any holidays to build up now now I have to start building myself and I have to thrive in my own colors hasem says I gave the Torah for each and every one of you you're all United but you have to be yourself and that's the message I have to carry now for the next few months is I am going to serve God the best way in my colors and I don't have to appease everybody and I don't have to fit and I don't have to now say okay if you don't like me okay you don't like me it's your problem it's not my problem you don't accept me you have the limitation not me and you find the place that you you are yourself and there are many people that they belong in a group and they love it and they they're that's their thing good that's what makes you happy great you like your group amazing don't think that your group is better than another group and accept everybody else but it's good for you and it's good for a a certain amount of people that they belong this person belongs inab this person belongs in breev this person belongs Into You Belong where you belong fine if you don't think you belong anywhere you don't need to belong anywhere you belong to the is happy with what you are you don't need to dress a certain way to say now my Tora is valid my T is valid when I'm following the Torah how I need to do it and the point that I want to take from that is theem says don't be fake one thing that cannot stand is lies and fakeness you can do whatever you want the says I know you have a I know when you when you fail I send the but at least be honest don't be AEM cannot stand lies and people that are fake and when you lie even to yourself says why are you lying to yourself why are you pretending why you can't look in the mirror and say to yourself This is the reality this is what I am be yourself and when you know how to focus on yourself and say that's me don't try to change me people go into relationships right away in the dating period everything's good once you married now everybody's trying to change their spouse so I always tell to to to marry people that they have problems don't try to change your spouse that's who you married you're never going to change that person that's how you got them live with it you love them in in the dating process that's the reality and when we try to change our spouse our children Parents try to change your children this is the worst thing one can do cuz a Child is This is how I am why are you trying to change me I'm not going to be like you I'm the total opposite from my father complete opposite two opposites and throughout the first period of my life my father thought that I need to be like him and at some point I told him I'm never going to be like you realize that and the second that he realized be you then he allowed me to shine and to grow because I didn't have to be under the the threat that oh I have to be like that and that's the problem with many people in that they're threatened oh I have to be like that and if I'm not like that then it means everything is not good so what I want to take from that is that I I have to serve AEM with all my heart but how I shine and I have to be me and I have to serve hem in my individual way that's how hem wants item says I want you to be you don't don't pretend don't be somebody different start nourishing your you your yourself and be yourself don't start going off the guidelines but be yourself and I can guarantee to you that when you become yourself that's really when you flourish that's really when you grow that's really when you communicate the right way with the K and that's really why the Torah was given to us in so many different ways says the Torah is the same but now you do it you want to sing sing you want to pray quietly pray quietly you want to go like this when you pray go like this some shoes if you start clapping when you when you pray sh he wants to clap let him clap why do you care what he's doing you can't take the noise go to a different room so a we have to be ourselves and we have to allow others to be themselves and again don't take my words out of context you can't bend the rules of the Torah it has to be based on the Tor but then you shine your own way like a like a symphony there's dozens of of of a instruments everybody has to be their own instrument and that's how you get a beautiful beautiful concert if everybody would be just the drums what are you going to get everybody would be the violines die you have to we all are compared to Colors it says that am Israel is compared to colors and you cannot make a painting from one color if you make a painting just from the color blue this is going to be a very boring painting you have to make many different shades and mix the blue and the white so it will will become a little bit purple and I this is this is what we are we are different colors we're different shades there are millions of Shades and if you are not your shade you are preventing AEM from his artwork in this universe and he says why are you pretending to be blue you are yellow stop being blue that's not your color be who you are because I need you to shine in your color that's the realm that's really accepting the Torah is to being me in the guidelines of the Torah and if we do that it's guaranteed that a you will flourish you will grow spiritually you will hasten the Redemption because you're not going to bring into the world this concept of lie you're going to bring many more people people close to the Torah Jews and non-jews non-jews also have to become part of the Torah belongs to them too they're part of the Redemption the non don't want to do anything to do with us because we're like no you don't fit into my thing T is not mine Tora is everybody's to was also given to the nons I have to actually teach them we just read now in we really literally read the two days ago in in the in the Ten Commandments I have to be a nation aik to the Nations so the Torah belongs to everybody I have to educate the Nations too how am I going to educate them if I'm boxing myself should have a beautiful beautiful warm summer and we should grow spiritually and emotionally and really find the colors the true colors of myself to be able to shine out and help hem create a beautiful painting in this world with my shade of colors we should all find our our me and shine it out to affect the entire world [Music]