Jody Berkel Pre Rosh Hashanah 2020

so i know i said hello i hope to all of you um i'm so excited to see you all i hope you can feel that through the screen and i really just want to thank you so much for zooming in tonight um i know there's so many other things that we have to get done and so the fact that you chose to join me tonight i do not take lightly and i'm so grateful so obviously i wish we were in person um but i am so grateful to miriam miriam's usually here from project inspire um and i just wanted to thank her for um giving me this opportunity to to be with you tonight but we have aliza from project inspire and usually miriam's gonna do an intro and uh but i think i know everyone i don't need to introduce myself but a little bit of housekeeping that miriam asked me to to share with you um is is basically about project inspire i know so many of you know about project inspire but i just wanted to tell you um over all of kovid basically project inspire has been going non-stop to bring all of us the most unbelievable programming um you know almost every night during the week there's an amazing program from project inspire and many of you know about the their friday night shabbat show um which is awesome i really encourage everybody to watch it i watch it every friday but this week it's going to be tomorrow because friday's going to be young tiff so it's on thursday okay and for all the programming anything on one-on-one learning if you want to have a a partner in tara project inspire is your organization and you can find out everything on their website projectinspire.com so if you have any questions or anything like that you can ask me in the end and i'll hook you up also i just wanted to let everyone know if you have any questions as i go through it please put them in the chat and then my plan is to answer all the questions at the end okay and the only other thing i had here was to ask everyone to mute themselves but my friend elisa has got it covered all right everyone we made it finally the yamim noraem the days of awe which include rosh hashanah the 10 days of chuva and yom kippur are pretty much here just a few days and at this time of year i think we're all asking ourselves what does hashem really want from us right our big day is coming up so this question is on our mind so i'd like to share with you a true story that i believe will answer this question and deepen all the ideas you're about to hear it was the right prayer at the wrong time shema israel hashema kenu hashem the woman's voice declared loudly once twice three times shattering the silence of the synagogue congregants looked at each other uneasily they were just about to begin the morning blessings however the woman who just slipped into the karlabath shul and was in fact a stranger was chanting a prayer that appears much later in the morning service so she was clearly out of sync but the karlabach congregants were very used to uncommon happenings in their shul but this woman's behavior was puzzling many balichuvas or visitors to the shul who were not really familiar with the prayer service would that would make and i think i've been in this situation we make a great effort to follow along mouthing any unfamiliar words in a soft stumbling voice or they would ask fellow congregants for help finding the proper place in the prayer book or they would remain respectfully silent this woman however had done none of the three without embarrassment without hesitation whatsoever she kept repeating over and over again in a loud booming voice shema israel hashem eloquenu hashem echad from across the room rev karla bach approached the woman and he said softly my sweetest friend what's going on the woman began to cry this is my first time in a synagogue in more than 50 years i had no intention of walking into your shul but as i was walking by and i saw the door opened something pulled me in the last time i was in a synagogue i was only five years old i was a small child during the war and my parents hid me with a gentile neighbor in hungary and they promised they would come back for me but they never did so i was raised as a christian and removed from everything jewish today when i saw your door open i knew i had to go in everyone was praying and i so badly wanted to pray too but the only prayer i remember from my childhood was the shema that's why i repeated it over and over again it's the only prayer i know reb turned to his congregation and waved his arms he said i want you to know this woman's kavanah her intention puts all of us to shame do you think it's the words that god cares about it's the cry from the heart that opens the gates more than anything else and if our prayers are accepted into heaven today it is on the coattails of this holy woman for her simple shema is the holiest of all friends hashem is waiting for us to reach out to him with whatever we've got whether it's a lot or a little but whatever it is do it with all your heart alright we're all hoping to have a great new year and be written in the book of life but very often we don't exactly know the opportunity that stands before us each jewish holiday gives us a different spiritual energy to tap into and the days of awe like all the other jewish holidays have its own power embedded in the days and we want to be able to access its awesome power so today i'd like to share three things about the days of awe that to me are just awesome number one what happened on rosh hashanah that gives us reason to celebrate we all know why we celebrate passover because that's when god freed the jews from egypt we celebrate hanukkah because that's when we experience the miracle of the oil and the miracle of the jews beating the greek army and finally we know why we celebrate purim because god saved us from haman's evil decree surprisingly many of us don't know why we're celebrating rosh hashanah i certainly didn't i remember however many years ago it was sitting in a high holiday program and the rabbi at the front challenged the congregation he literally said jews what are we celebrating today and all the hands shot up the jewish new year apples and honey and my favorite we won let's eat clearly i wasn't the only one who didn't know the answer what exactly are we celebrating rosh hashanah brings us back to the very beginning of creation when everything existed only in potential what happened that brought this awesome potential into purpose us rosh hashanah is the celebration of the sixth day of creation when god formed adam and eve it's the birthday of humanity so happy birthday to us at this time of year we have the ability to tap into the energy of renewal and break free from a past that might be holding us back we have this epic role to play and the key to this time of year is to seize the opportunity that hashem is putting in front of us to figure out what specific role do i want to play in the upcoming year now rosh hashanah is called yom hadim which means the day of judgment but what exactly are we being judged on on rosh hashanah we turn inward and we focus on our personal goals for the upcoming year what type of person parent spouse employee jew do i want to be there's a new year literally a new world being created and the question we all need to ask ourselves is in the game of life what position do i want to play sports are a wonderful metaphor for life there are more cliches in baseball than i think in any other sport some of my favorites from babe ruth he famously said and these are the ones i chose that i thought would be for the high holidays so he said never let the fear of striking out get in your way and every strike brings me closer to a home run many years ago i actually looked at my own growth in judaism in terms of a baseball game i looked at my connection to judaism and thought what jew do i want to be excuse me for a long time i was more of a spectator you could call it not actually at the game or involved in my jewish community don't get me wrong i was always very proud to be jewish i was cheering for my team but i wasn't yet at the ballpark i was a big fan and we all know how important fans are is anyone watching sports lately so if any of you are are watching so there's no crowds allowed just the teams but what they're using now are simulated crowd sounds okay has anyone seen this it's quite amazing so the players need the fans to be honest the jewish people have always been in need of more fans right unfortunately we're seeing a rise in anti-semitism worldwide especially on social media and on campus so the question is how do we respond friends now is not the time to sit on the sidelines every jew has the power to step up and do more for his people everyone plays a part and every single one of us is invaluable but unlike in sports where there is something called a second string when someone who at the last minute can't take a player's place for each of us there is no second string got it now is the time to take pride in who we are as jews and show that pride to our children to our community and to the world personally i wanted to learn more about judaism so i sort of speak bought a ticket to the game and i started to experience what it felt like to be part of the team by learning and by taking on a couple of mitzvahs still the nosebleeds weren't doing it for me i wanted to get closer but i was still in the stands but greatness doesn't happen in the stands the stands are nice they're cozy there's popcorn but if we want to be great we've got to get in the game at this time of year god is looking down at us and saying these kite it's that means sweetie if there's any svardom on here zeskite you want to join the team and it's completely fair to say to god i don't even know what my role my position my role in your world is god can handle that he has big shoulders but i know that if i'm here it's because i have a unique role to play and i'm ready to step up to the plate part of this is taking the time to figure out my specific mission in the world there's a national mission and each one of us has a personal mission to fulfill our national mission was given at mount sinai when god gave the jewish people the awesome responsibility to be a light unto the nations to set an example and be god's ambassadors on earth our personal mission is no less important we can begin by honing in on our special god-given talents what are we good at what brings us and others joy and when we bring these things together to make a positive difference in the world then we're coming close to being the player that the team so desperately needs everyone hashem is waiting for us to turn to him because more than anyone else he's there to help us knock it out of the park that's pretty awesome if you have any questions something comes up please write it in the chat okay number two the first day of the month of elul is the day when moshe went up to mount sinai to get the second set of tablets remember moshe came down with the first set and the jewish people were worshiping the golden calf and moshe smashed the tablets why because on a very deep level we weren't ready to keep those laws so the first day of elul moshe goes back up for another 40 days and begs god to forgive the jewish people yom kippur is the day moshe came down with the second set of tablets which signified that god had forgiven us this day became a day for all time of divine forgiveness and what's more awesome than forgiveness we can go forward to god our father in heaven and say we messed up we fell short and we know we can be so much more we make a plan which is a very important part in building back that relationship and then we wait and of course like any parent who waits for their children to make things right and waits for their children to admit where they miss the mark which is what chuva is really about god says of course i forgive you and i'm here to help you make it right but then he says i can forgive you for where you messed up with me but where you damaged your relationship with others that's up to you now go and apologize to your brothers and sisters the ten days of chuva are not about becoming someone else it's about returning to our true self as my friend charlie hirari so beautifully says it's not about becoming it's about revealing what's already there hashem is waiting for us his attributes of mercy and compassion are flowing down on us especially now he loves us more than anything else and wants to have a relationship with us young kipper reminds us that we are in a relationship with the creator of the world and when we mess up because we all mess up sometimes we have the opportunity to make things right totally awesome now i wanted to show you something i just added this part just a few days ago and i can't give you a more sweeter example of what forgiveness looks like i'm just going to share my screen if you haven't seen it you're welcome give me one second okay hold on okay guys one second gonna okay getting one technical hold on okay right can you see it just give me a knot if you can here we go i'm sorry for all i did wrong i tried to be better forever and ever i'm sorry for all i did wrong i'll try to try to be the best [Music] oh my gosh okay has everyone seen this hold on i'm just doing this when you're in your twenties it's oh it's a total story guys and as you move through the um there we go i'm back hold on okay has hands up it hands up if you have seen that video of that beautiful boy okay i can't stop singing in my house my kids are singing it and i'm trying to do it with the same like with his faces and everything okay it just puts me in such a great mood in such a positive mood okay as i want us to go into you know the high holidays in a positive mood it's not this scary time so this little boy i think he's reminding the whole world of what it's really about about coming to it with your whole heart right okay amazing let's continue all right we're on number three okay this is one of my favorites ladies on rosh hashanah we are literally saying to god over and over again you are the king of the world and i'm here to crown you remember before we were created our king had no subjects therefore we made hashem king each year on rosh hashanah we rededicate ourselves to his kingship so what's so awesome about that well to me if hashem is king then i'm not in charge he is recognizing this fact is a game changer for our life and definitely for our upcoming year we can finally give up this sense that everything is in our control and the whole world rests on our shoulders remember god has his job and we have ours and sometimes we seem to get the two confused right you're with me on this sometimes we think we look around we see what's going on in the world and from our perspective things don't seem right in our eyes we look around someone has more money someone is smarter someone's more successful more talented fill in the blank and we think that should be me or god must have made a mistake not only that we look around the world and we see all the things going wrong and we try to understand it that's us doing hashem's job we all know when we do this we end up stressed anxious jealous depressed all because we're attempting god's job it's not our job to fully understand why bad things happen to good people it's our job to help when bad things happen to good people i'm going to say that again it's not our job to fully understand why bad things happen to good people it's our job to help when bad things happen to good people i've shared this many times in my classes but it's worth repeating god is all powerful all all-knowing and all good god can do anything so it follows then that god when creating the world could have made everyone rich everyone healthy and everyone the same but he didn't one of my favorite torahs ever is god makes wheat we make bread okay what does this mean so our rabbis teach us that god only brought creation so far and he left the rest for us to partner with him and perfect the world we are god's partners we are here to fix the brokenness of the world we're here because god wanted us to be and there is a task that only we can fulfill there's a beautiful powerful story it's a hasidic story i always love hasidic stories and it's a story of the second lubavitcher rebbe so it goes like this he was once so the second lobovich rebbe was once so intent on his studies that he failed to hear the cry of his baby son his father rabbi schneer zalman of lyadi heard and he went down he took the baby in his arms and rocked the baby till he went to sleep then he went in to see his son his son who was still intent on his books and said my son i do not know what you are studying but it is not the study of torah if it makes you deaf to the cry of a child to live a life of faith is to hear the silent cry of the afflicted of the lonely the poor and the sick and to respond for the world is not yet mended there is still work to do and god has empowered us to do it with him for him and for his faith in us part of crowning hashem our king is to humble ourselves as powerful and as amazing a role we have to play in this world we are not god another one of my favorite torahs i've probably shared this with many of you it's from rabbi sim habanem and he says that a person needs to walk around with two pieces of paper one in each pocket on one paper it says the whole world is created for me and on the other paper it says i am but dust and ash and he says the key to life is figuring out at every moment which piece of paper to pull out so what does this mean to me in times where i know there's only me there's a job that i need to do i'm pulling out the the paper the whole world was created for me and other times i know that i have to hold myself back right someone else can go forward there's something that someone else can do i pull out the other paper of humility of no no i'm just dust of the earth so we have to live between this balance right i think that makes life interesting so the key to this time of year is our perception the way we see our life the way we see our circumstances and what will get us there humility looking at the world around us we need to understand that there are no shortages of blessings in heaven if we could handle it we would have it so i was thinking i guess that's why i i haven't won the lottery yet right hashem knows i could not handle that i'm kidding i don't even play the lottery but you understand what i mean right if we could handle it we would have it hashem gives us exactly what we need in order to reach our potential this is a fundamental jewish idea and the more we integrate this into our daily life the more we will appreciate our life circumstances challenges and all because it is really through those challenges not despite them that we become the individuals that were really meant to be it's awesome to have a king because the bigger we make hashem in our lives the smaller our worries become so that's our three i want to summarize quickly and then we're going to chat so number one the whole world was created for me and i have this awesome opportunity with god's help to create the role that i want to play in the upcoming year when we tap into the energy of renewal we understand that there's no past holding us back and we have a unique role to play a role that no one else can fulfill number two yom kippur and the ten days of chuva is this epic time of forgiveness with god and others and just like a loving parent would hashem is waiting to have a relationship with us we have the ability to recalculate and with hashem's help get back on track towards who we're meant to be remember we're not trying to become someone else we're trying to become our best self number three crowning hashem our king lets us know that we are not in control of everything as it says in perce avos the ethics of our father it is not incumbent on us to complete the task nor are you at liberty to desist from it this means we have the responsibility to put in our efforts every day but the end results are not in our hands that's very liberating crowning hashem our king is about humility when we change our perspective and focus on the opportunities in front of us and all the blessings that we have in our life we can't help but feel grateful to the king of the world and that my friends is totally awesome now before we finish i always give us a brother but i heard i i had written this already but i heard from my friend eve levy a wonderful brother it's so appropriate now more than ever and i wanted to give it to all of us tonight okay so it's from an incredible series called the book of our heritage and it goes like this i think you're going to want to write this one down let the old year and its curses come to an end let the new year and its blessings begin i just want to wish hashanatova to every one of you and all your beautiful families and thank you so so much for zooming in and joining me tonight so now i would love to have some questions and and chat a little bit so we're going to open it up hopefully elisa can unmute everybody i told you short and sweet right i mean yes you're gonna have to send it to us later okay i will very good i'm gonna check was there was there any questions about any of the three points any challenges i like challenges as people have questions or i disagree anyone i guess jody it's debra um i guess really the biggest hi thank you that was beautiful but i guess really the biggest question i would have is i would always hear about our unique mission but how do we really know what that is and how do we get there to that understanding okay so i love the question um i touched on it a little bit but i'm but it's worth repeating okay so our personal mission you're asking about okay i mean deborah if we're honest with ourselves okay and i i think i'm not into bringing anyone down i'm only into raising people up so in this area we have to look and be honest and think what are we good at okay each of us knows we have a talent we have a gift in some area and it's this particular gift the things that we're good at okay these are god-given talents right so we take that what am i good at second thing what brings me a lot of joy when i'm doing something that makes me feel so great what is that what is that one thing and then if i'm using my talents and that thing that makes me so happy and i'm using it to make the world a better place and deborah when i'm talking about that you know you can think it's changing the whole world on a grand scale but i'm actually not talking about that changing the world can be as small but it's not small as helping your next door neighbor who needs something okay it's the person down the street it's the friend who needs you to be there whatever their stuff okay your mission is whatever's in front of you okay do you understand right like you know very often i'm at sobies i think about this question a lot what's my mission what do i have to do sometimes i'm at sobies and an older lady will ask me can i reach something for her and i recognize at that moment that's my mission to help her okay so we don't need to look very far remember charity begins at home with our family our community can in concentric circles ralph cook said okay so this is how we have to look at our ability to make the world a better place that's our mission we can start small and grow from there but three things like i said your talents what brings you others joy when you put those things together and you're sharing that that's you tapping in to your personal mission does that make sense oh perfectly thank you yeah okay and listen it takes takes a long time you know sometimes it's hard to figure out what it is that we're good at or anything like that but i think it's worth thinking about i think if i asked you what are the things you aren't good at i think you could come up with a list like that right because sometimes that's what we focus on but it's more worthwhile to focus on what we're good at one other point i want to say i don't know which rabbi said it but he said one of the great things to do on the high holidays is not to focus on what you're not doing right we all know that he said take what you're doing right and do it even better okay it's like positive psychology okay amazing thank you for the question anybody else my hair's sticking out static any other questions does the baseball analogy and oh what about the fans guys the simulated fans that are going on in sports right now it's an amazing thing actually any other questions thank you all for joining any favorite parts anything that resonates i always like to know like what stays with people whole thing was beautiful thank you thank you so much nice to meet you i really love you're amazing jody jodie i loved your story about the woman in the synagogue in karabakh synagogue that really resonated with me because i think people who don't know how to defend they feel very insecure and you can dive into hashem all day you can speak to hashem wherever you are and that was so it was real that story it was so um right i think that message that's the message i want to get across through throughout i wanted to weave through everything we spoke about is the idea that everything everything that we're doing whatever it is a little a lot just has to be from the heart can't just say the words 100 say less say less but mean it right 100 there's no there's no competition no there's no competition and everybody is so different and we all do things so differently and it doesn't matter there's no standard that's what i feel right and you did an amazing job jody you're wonderful you're beautiful that was so beautiful and it is so wonderful to see so many of your faces thank you so so much for speaking and bringing us together who was that i didn't i can't see who that is that's elise elise can we see your beautiful face elise there she is where is she see her let me check where is she where's elise where are you hold on hi elise hi uh so nice to see you thank you guys have technical difficulties ever i on you then i'm not here you so i mean back and forth but i see you the whole time and i'm so happy to see you all we're so happy to see you elise thank you elise so wonderful to see you yes harriet that first story like when i first read it a number of years ago i never forgot and i read recently that one i the one i shared with you about um the second laboratory rebbe going down to his son whose life that was also wonderful oh i love what he says i don't know what you're studying but it's not tori yeah if this idea the more we get engrossed in learning in rituals if it is not opening our ears to the cries of the world more than ever before we're not learning properly okay it's not to bring us in it's to like expand us in every way okay remember torah is not education torah is transformation that's from rabbits and weinberg hello one of my faves oh there's robin hi robin hi bella hi everybody any other anyway you did an amazing job jody it's wonderful and beautiful just as you are thank you so much thank you guys any does anybody i would love to answer some questions honestly like i haven't been in like a class with people in so long it's like dying guys okay deborah asked a great question anybody else can i have a question you know when i talked about that we have a national mission and a personal mission and our national mission is this awesome responsibility to be a light unto the nations do you think that for a lot of jews they say they would rather say give the responsibility to someone else i've heard i've heard people say um you know people who i love very much and i care very much about just after everything we've been through they're like god choose someone else i heard those words choose someone else and i mean it's a fair comment i i just wanted to i i mean i love the responsibility obviously you can see um but what do you guys think anyone i mean i don't know what to say i know that the holocaust survivors i understand when they said things like that after they went through the horrors and maybe they did say to someone else i'm not interested anymore you know it's it's really hard to answer that question because you don't know what those people necessarily have gone through in their life exactly and maybe they're not able to cope right so it's really hard to answer everyone is so different exactly it's a it's a heart right and we don't judge anyone yeah no that's the main thing but um no i heard that growth really takes place when you put yourself in an uncomfortable position and it's not convenient and it's not easy but the plight that we have will only grow from it and will only get better and stronger as a community as in our family unit as an example um and so i think that getting uncomfortable is almost part of our journey so definitely robin i mean we don't have to look very far we can look at ourselves we can look people in the community around the world who have gone through certain things in our life and in in their lives and then you see what they become and it's not it's not despite what they went through it's because of what they went through so there's a beautiful jewish idea called again one of my favorites it's called yorida litsara aliyah which means a descent for the purpose of ascent so you know like an arrow gets pulled back and down in order to launch it further ahead so the lubavitcher rebbe said that before a person is going to be launched to a much higher level they sometimes have to go through a descent we could call this a challenge anything like that and so you know very often um these challenges they make into the people that we are today i don't have to look very far okay um so this is and there are stories throughout the torah never mind on this right of greatness and the challenges that people went through um but you learn so much about yourself and about your abilities when challenges come your way and very often i'm not we never ask for a challenge god forbid okay that's not a jew not a jewish idea do not ask for a challenge they'll come on their own okay however when we're in a challenge it's very hard to see the forest through the trees okay i understand but very often we come out on the other side we can look back and be like okay okay i'm through it it was very difficult but i am i have grown as a person i have grown as a human being because of what i went through whether i have different abilities sensitivities you know i could go on and on this is a whole class in itself but yes robin definitely it's the challenges that like launch us to greater parts of ourselves okay amazing thank you thank you for that comment awesome anybody else bella is she there hey how are you well you always have good questions and comments come on um no i think you're amazing and of course everything that you say is always just unbelievable and it's so true it's such a good analogy with the um you know getting to know the game like if you really want to if you really want to know if you want to be a fan you obviously have to know the game really really well um and get to know it and then you become passionate about it right it's it's like anybody who who knows i'm learning about football i'm still not there yet um but uh i know that when finally when i do get how it works i may be passionate i may be along the side of my husband cheering for a team um so it's the same way uh that i look at it as you know trying to get into uh just knowing your judaism but the one thing that i do struggle with from time to time is i do believe that hashem runs the world and i do believe that he's he's in it for us you know what i mean like he he wants the best for us and we may not see that it's always great at that moment but then later on we can look back and say oh now i know why sometimes not all times but i we i still struggle with with worrying all the time i worry i worry about this i worry about the future i worry about my kids i worry about things that i shouldn't be worried about because the seconds later or minutes later i'll sit there going why am i getting worried this is like you know this is a god thing like hashem will take care of it but it's very hard for me to understand that like like accept it no i'm with you i want to tell you how much i'm with you i'm going to move the camera i want you guys to see something i'm sitting in my office i have some i shared with you um a quote from perique alvos right about it is not up to you to finish the task but that doesn't mean you should desist okay i just want to show you okay let me see if i can lift the computer to the side can you see that what's written on the wall you see there's two things there kind of can you see it's hard to read it it's hard to see it hold on hold on i don't see i see it but i can't read it i want to read it to you so the first one is the pierre que avos it says it is not incumbent upon you to complete the work but neither are you at liberty to desist from it and underneath it says another quote david winiars would say wherever i go i'm going to plant seeds hopefully they'll grow one day it's not my job to decide if they grow or not i just have to plant seeds yeah just show up yeah so friends i want to tell you this is like like i look i live by this right which which tells me in every area of my life especially as a mother right it's that i have to put in my effort to everything right but the end results of my effort are not in my hands okay okay and we've seen this just i mean this is the way of the world ladies that someone parents can do everything right and their child you know you don't need me to say at the same time you can have parents who they raise a child like in a very [Music] is mute there we go okay i did it but but this idea that the end results are not in our hands so i study for a test right i have i have a test i study i do everything i possibly can and the results don't turn out exactly as i hoped i still tried my absolute best so that's why it's not as disastrous how the things if they don't turn out the way i planned because the most important thing and really the only thing that i have control over is my effort so for me this is very very helpful to stop me from worrying and be anxious about the future about all the things that i have no control over i really try and hone in and be very specific on the areas in my life that i can control which is basically just my behavior yeah it's very freeing it's very free when yeah i had um i had a discussion it was actually i think it was uh one of the i think was the first time i met uh jesse revivo and we were talking about business we're both entrepreneurs uh small business owners and he gave me the best advice he said number one he said two things number one um he said you need to discover your personal relationship with hashem and know that you can be driving in the car you can be lying in bed you can be on a walk it doesn't matter you can be in a party of a million people you have a direct connection to hashem you being you has a direct connection to hashem if you have any questions if you have any concerns talk to hashem and so i love that that was one concept that was very like i didn't think of it that way and the other thing he said is that when he walks into a meeting and this is for me was profound but you can put it in any situation when he walks into a meeting he now walks in because of that relationship he has with hashem he walks in knowing that he's not alone he's got hashem backing him up and it was like just when you go into a conversation when you go into whatever it is for work or for family like any anything like good or bad you can go in with the confidence knowing that hashem's got your back it's beautiful like when you think of it okay robin and everyone else sitting at sitting here so i want to tell you earlier i was having dinner with my family so i have a eight-year-old son and an 11 year old daughter yeah 16 year old son and we were having dinner just before and i was i was like nervous okay everyone i get nervous i'm like a crazy person okay it doesn't matter how many times i do this i get so nervous so i was nervous at the table my eight-year-old says to me i promise you he said he goes don't be nervous hashem is with you and he then he said he goes ima he's sitting right beside you okay actually and then he goes actually he's in you so don't be nervous i'm not done and i was like you know miller you're right you're totally right i'm still nervous hashem is right with me so but but it's true very good you know also though um like with what bella was saying and also how uh you are innately um that okay you're a warrior it's you you see it though like you and what bella said she sees it and she catches herself and it's that's actually that is so important and that is that that takes strength and that takes insight and that takes looking at the big picture that ins in that moment you know you're worried you're worried and then you get yourself out of that moment you don't go down the rabbit hole i think it's great and with you you have miller to back you you up as well to remind you yeah he's pretty washed already um it's true i just want to say that it's just i i'm hoping for the day that i can get to that point where i could just say i'm good it's all in hashem's hands because i think that it just takes a little bit yeah look at your past like look at like look at your past like the 10 la past 10 years everything's always worked out this is how i apply it with my business because i've got anxiety about my business all the time and how i it stopped about four years ago when i realized no matter what challenges came like that you know presented itself to me no matter what i would get through it like the i would think oh my god i'm going through the worst thing right now but i would get through it and then it would be the next year and so i kind of um took um i guess i relied on the fact that um the that i had past experience to know that no matter how insurmo insurmountable it seemed whatever the challenge was or whatever it was uh the situation was that i got through it and that i i just then started to have faith that it doesn't matter what the problem is i know i'll get through it on the other side so if you can just look at the past 10 years of your life like you know it's not that long ago you know the past 10 years and you can see everything that you've done you've got such a beautiful life you've got such a beautiful family of such beautiful friends like everything that surrounds you thank god yeah so it's like just rely on that as the facts when you're like looking when you're thinking about oh my god what's going wrong you know that just know that at the end of the day no matter what happens you're going to get through it sorry so if if i will add to that beautiful idea so many of you have heard me say so many times judaism is not a religion judaism is a relationship and so to this point this to this idea you know when you're in a relationship with someone whether it's your spouse parents siblings best friend why do we trust them though i'll answer the question because they've always been there for us they have a track record with us right i i love my husband i don't worry when he goes out with his friends that's that god forbid something's gonna he's gonna cheat on me why because he sh he's proven to me over and over again no no you can trust me so if we look at our relationships like this which i think now that i'm mentioning it i think you all will agree this is kind of how it is right if we extend that relationship that we have with others to the almighty we can also look back on our past that god also has a track record with us and when we've gone through things we've made it through okay and so i feel this is such it's a gay i want to tell you it's a game changer for life of having this understanding that okay like it's not like okay god you're not with me right now you're gonna i'm going through this terrible time and you're going to leave me and you're not there for me no no you've been there for me before you helped me before you helped me get through you're going to help me again and i just think the more that we integrate this mindset i think into all areas of our life because we're not just talking about our relationship with hashem we're talking about in life there's anxieties there's worries there's health there's all these things right and like i said you have to do your effort you go to the best doctor you have a health challenge you go to the best doctor okay and you do everything that you possibly can but at the end of the day hashem decides okay i just want to say so for me that's very liberating it helps me on my day-to-day life and all the challenges that sort of come and go okay we integrate integrate okay it takes time to think about these things just put them on your heart put these ideas on your heart okay something else that just came to mind we say in the shema hashem tells us in the second paragraph or the shema hashem says take these words of mine and put them on your heart okay so i asked this question so why doesn't hashem say put them in your heart isn't it better to go in then on so i heard a beautiful idea how often is our heart actually open right so hashem says take these words of mine take all the things that happen put them on your heart and in one of those moments where we have an opening of our heart everything will flow in it's beautiful and what happens open the heart i'll just tell you sadaka giving to others all these things helping someone else doing something for someone else anything your kids your best friends community opens the heart the heart is a muscle it needs to be exercised okay anything i love that you love that i love that yeah yeah lisa lisa black meddings you always have great things to add come on i'm in a listening mood tonight i want to talk to you a dean anybody let's see i will say though i shared that uh that young uh boys uh video today too he was just awesome because he was just giving it right yeah he was he was he was invested it was terrific yeah i just love everything about it he was you know he really had his he was giving it his all that's right he was amazing i just want to tell you that i sing that song uh every year because i teach nursery and i was just thinking about it i was just thinking about like okay next week we have to talk about young people what sort of crafts am i doing what am i what are the songs that get involved that that we that we do with the kids and it was so funny because that came to mind and it's actually one of my favorite songs to sing with the kids and you put it on and it was amazing it was amazing he was great like really really cute loved it we'll have to show the kids that for sure yeah you just shot on facebook yeah you can find it on youtube yeah bella look on my feed i shared it i think it was yesterday on my feet i was talking sorry i don't even know i think we all shared it very cute it's robin i just want to say hi sandra i see you i know it's a i think it's you i see your picture of your daughter but i just want to say thank you for coming that's i see kim is that kim smiley i'm not sure i hope it is maybe can't see it's just kim okay whichever kim it is welcome kim and um okay ladies it's nine o'clock um i don't want to keep you any longer thank you so so much um if anyone would like to there's an article i wrote on ace um anybody read it so it's it was based on this class it's called the days of awesome and it's on h.com and uh if you haven't read it check it out will do okay thank you so much thanks so much jody it was amazing on saturday thanks thank you elisa one sec don't go yet just want to say goodbye to everybody violin bye rona by harriet by lee by a dean