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Joan Weiner Levin: the Challenges of Making Aliya
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Thinking of moving to Israel? You need to watch this fantastic set by Joan Weiner Levin before you hop aboard that El Al flight!
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Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
look I am everybody just cuz you're on
zoom you don't get out of your to drink
minimum everybody raise your glass zoomx
raise your glass they'll high him it's
good to see everybody in your little
boxes what's the think out of the box
it's good to see you let me introduce
myself I'm just gonna pause for about
three seconds in case there are any men
lurking in the room because that you
know look and the truth is I'll tell you
man if you are there lurking at us on
YouTube first of all some of us are
being are used to being looked at by men
without our knowing but I can't
guarantee that in the next five minutes
I'm not gonna get so you've been warned
um just want to introduce myself in case
some of you have never seen me perform
before my name is Joan Weiner Levin in
Israel I used the Hebraic sized version
of that so you can call me Joan knocking
yeah I have my little headset on here
like you know hi I'm Julie your time
life operator would you like to order
Sports Illustrated we're living in crazy
times I'm just gonna talk about this for
one minute we have to get it over with
okay
I actually like wearing the mask I go
outside I have a few decorated masks
I've made one that looks like a kitten I
like it because that when I talked to
myself nobody can hear me my kids and I
have been home all day long for like
months already and we've basically been
living like a fraternity house we have
reached college student level we go to
sleep at 2:30 in the morning there's
boxes of cold pizza all over my house my
son I woke up the other day and I found
my son passed out on the couch there
were some beer bottles next to him I
don't that was about I think he even had
some lipstick smeared on his collar I
really don't know what that was about
I want y'all to know I am wearing high
heels tonight because I like to perform
in high heels I a four inch wide clumps
which you can't see because I like them
they make me feel like I am a tough
chick I did a show couple months ago in
Modena and I forgot to bring my shoes so
I perform barefoot
I had my black flats with me and I don't
like to perform in black flats because
my black heels say I am a tough chick my
slash say I'm going to be call it the
rebus ins house and I just didn't feel
that was what I wanted to say but
I am wearing my heels I want to say
hello to New York I miss you
I'm a Dahlia from New York I was from
Teaneck I miss spring in America I just
do I miss it
my husband and I lived there for over 10
years we we had a lot of good things
that happened to us we had some problems
in an earlier time once I had to take my
husband to Holy Name hospital which was
a bit of a problem holy name of John the
Baptist God Christ Hospital not not for
a third-generation rabbi's kid really
there was a cross on the wall I said is
that your last patient they asked us to
leave which was okay we ended up ended
up going to Brooklyn
moisés Hospital and discount Electronic
Arts where if you have a double bypass
go to the third for free I love spring
in New York I stick my kids to the
parade the Puerto Rican Day Parade we
love because I wanted to teach my kids
about diversity also my cleaning lady
had just quit and I thought that might
be a good place to find a new one I love
that joke and I love doing it
internationally because now people in
Israel are horrified they're saying oh
my god that's so racist people in
America are saying wait it's important
Rico part of America but there are five
women logged on from Teaneck right now
we're saying that's really a good idea I
didn't think of that
and look I know that's a racist joke I
do but I don't think Jennifer Lopez is
listening and also I've been to the is
all Day Parade and there's a lot of
Puerto Ricans that go to the Israel they
parade looking for a discount electronic
parts so I think it balances out I have
made Ali I'm in Israel I've been here
about five years with my husband my kids
we love it here I have to say here's the
hard part of me oh yeah it's not the
it's not the peace situation or the
security situation it's the damn metric
system I do not get the metric system it
is 37 degrees out or 39 degrees out
today and I put my son and the coat to
go to school and then I did the math
okay I mean oh yeah and the good part
about all yeah is I like kilograms okay
I got on the scale half my body weight
that was good okay but I didn't know
like kilograms to pounds okay that's
half so I thought kilometers to miles
that must also be half so I would do
like 120 kilometers an hour I got pulled
over by the cops once guy said you know
how fast you were going I think that I
got it say the truth I really don't um
that was a problem that was really a
problem but I like that I like being
able to go over a hundred I felt like a
bad girl we play games when we're
driving here you see a man by the side
of the road and he's chuckling with his
back to the road and we play a game it's
called min ha or men's room you have to
guess what is it that the guy was
looking for that he couldn't find I have
to say though again like with
temperatures I never knew okay
metric system of the Celsius to
Fahrenheit had no idea because I went to
I went to school in America I couldn't
do this you know how you combine how you
transfer between Celsius Fahrenheit
multiply five months I don't know I
don't have a PhD in math I could only do
it if I have pizza I'm like telling my
kids to go get a pizza and that's how I
have to figure out what the temperature
is it's gonna be like three-fifths of a
mushroom slice today uh