Jim's a Jerk!!

oh say hi everybody I put on the wrong side I got it so God created the world for us to network to network with each other to to be involved with one another in such a way that we can get tremendous amounts done I mean think how many people had to be involved just to build this building here or anything else for that matter everything requires tremendous teamwork yet all of us kind of go it alone in life because we're so scared of no we're so scared to know and know would just crush us but think of that like someone say no do we all know how scary that is and like how crushing that is but you realize what an egg shell you are what is the big deal that someone said no like it could be like ten people nine are gonna say yes one's gonna say no and we're scared to death at the one person and so we just wind up asking none of them and so we missed all nine and the person who would have said the person who said no would have said yes it's just that they're on their way to like to help their grandmother walk down the stairs or something to get her to the street level and even that one would have been a yes as well because we all raised our hands no agreeing that it's nice to do things for people we like that so but we're all just so scared that we don't and you realize that so many of us don't get anywhere so many of us we never get anywhere because we're just trying to do things on her own and you just be shocked how much people will do for you once you realize it's a yes world and once a it's a yes world one more time it's a yes world yeah one more time it's a yes world and when you live in a yes world things get done your dreams start to your dreams start to manifest because it requires you know it requires a it requires a lot of people to get things done but you got to get rid of your self-image to do that because it's too scary to get a know when you got self-image in the way but when you're just going full sole mode without all the self-image so yeah you're you're you just lose the fear of no and so King David said Annie as Gimli Boaz all right shims with me Hashem is mine those are I am with my helpers cuz the whole world are my helpers cuz once when you when you realize okay when you realize you're just in this Shama so the whole world is just there to help you and you're there to help everyone else we're all here to work together it's really amazing it also totally erases capitalism versus communism that whole muff locusts that whole fight capitalism versus communism it totally yet again because capitalism versus communism is is ultimately how do we take care of everybody capitalism is well everyone pays taxes and we take care of everybody through the taxes how's that going so far in Chicago and communism is the government takes care of everybody had that go in Russia we were like eating their arms off it didn't work but has a world where you have God awareness if God awareness and you realize that you and everyone you ever met are totally equal and if he's hungry you're gonna feed him if you have surplus it's in order to give if God granted you with money it's to make sure you spread it out you don't need your name on any plaque cuz if you put your name on a plaque everyone's gonna come out after you and then you're gonna wind up being stingy just to get your own life back I know so many people rich people are losing on losing on so many seductive fronts so many amazing sadaqa fronts cuz they played the big wheeler it's a duck a guy only to have his wife say enough you know like I just choose your choose your Sedaka's and that's it and oh but all you have to do is just keep yourself on the DL don't let anyone know where you're given or what you're given and just take care of people all over the world like just go crazy giving stuck up you know you got down low keep it on the down low and and then you get you get to keep your life with your wife and your kids no one's ringing your doorbell all day and and you can give tons of stuff it's all kinds of really important causes as opposed to having to be limited in that in that way and and anyway but the point is is God is with us and he's with us but oli is in in my helpers cuz everyone's my helpers and I'm everyone else's helper I do like crazy stuff for people all the time and I love it I love helping people and people help me like amazing like I have I have my club which you should all be in called the yom tov media club.com and i have that club people are joining that club you know if you were just signing up on one level or another to be there so that we can help as many people as possible and the and it's really awesome but the next words are van near the abyss son III will see my enemy what does that mean I will see good everyone think deep for a second and then raise your hand what do you think I will see my enemy because art Scholl translated jizz I'll see my enemy's downfall it added like that word like I'll see that I'll see my enemy you know to be taken down you know King David dealt with a lot of enemies but what it doesn't say my enemy's downfall she says I will see my enemy what does that mean what that means is that I will see I will see of someone give a try what see the good and your enemy that's pretty good go even deeper yeah [Music] that's too deep okay I got this one you all said beautifully beautifully the what it means is that I was I'll see my veneer Bassanio see that all these people that I consider my enemies not my enemies I made the my enemies because once the shims really with me and I'm which means I'm really being a soul let me put on the board will be a little clearer this ought to fix it so when you have I mean I've done this a million times in this room but I'll do it again when you have something called acceptance when you have acceptance so the definition of acceptance is that if you live that person's whole entire life not you but you were that person I don't mean if you would your brain live their life I'm saying you were them their brain their sibling order their community their family those parents if you none of you but you know I mean if you were that person that person that you're calling your enemy would be you I mean if you're an Iraqi sholde soldier shooting across the Iranian border the only difference to the to you you were born in different you know a couple hundred yards away from each other just there was a fence in the middle that's all the only doing stream so you're basically shooting yourself you understand you're shooting yourself there because had you lived his whole life you'd be shooting you'd be shooting yourself from the Irani side so when you when you get to acceptance you realize that everybody is just really doing their best really I mean every single one of yours has been doing that your best is anyone here could raise their head and say they haven't been doing their best you've all been doing your best and you may that may suck by the way I mean your best may suck but I promise you I promise you looking backwards in retrospect giving all the factors which are in the thousands daily given all the factors you're doing your best you're all doing your best and so is everybody you've ever hated everyone you'd call an enemy was doing their best and if you could have watched their life when they were grown up if you could have like seen a movie a biographical movie about them and the curtain opens there's a little baby there no one's like and then the kid grows up and you're watching the kid grow up and go through hell like their homes like the Holocaust even though it's in New Jersey but it's like the Holocaust in there and then after a while you're watching the movie you're eating your popcorn music what's gonna be I love this kid like this kids got to break through this you're gonna sit for two hours waiting for the breakthrough the problem is during the movie the shape of the faces the baby fat starts going away is this phase of someone you hate and you're like you'd say to your friends say actually like I'm leaving you're like don't leave don't leave watch you'll realize that everyone you don't like he's suffering there's suffering their own stuff and you just wind up in harm's way because hurt people hurt people hurt people hurt people and so whenever someone's hurtful your job if you're a Jewish person at least because we're called Russell money banana alpha money we are compassionate being who are the children of compassionate people your job is to have compassion for someone who's harmful like that doesn't mean put yourself in harm's way but but you if you've been in arms way you know you got to talk to God about that how'd you wind up in harm's way or how'd you wind up in that family and the answer sometimes is just well it's a reincarnation situation meaning I'm paying cosmic debt I had to wind up in this family or in that situation because I've obviously I've obviously got some leftovers from previous lifetimes as a as a hypnosis therapist I worked in hypnosis now for 22 years for the last 22 years I've worked in hypnosis in there and there were several times where where the only what thing to do now was to bring them into a past life like one life before this life in hypnosis sessions past it's called past life regression therapy not a preferable thing you never want to have to go there for various reasons I'm not gonna bring up right now but uh but I can tell you I I know that many that many victims of sexual assault but every single time I had a victim of sexual assault that I brought into a past life was a sexual assault er every time it was five out of five yeah now I'm not saying everyone was like that just everyone I dealt with was like that and so we have no idea what we're going through in our lives and but I'll tell you this much that they the kingi universe is like moving the pieces around and like really good at it really really good at it like extreme accuracy and precision there are no mistakes there are no mistakes whatsoever everything is happening with with extreme precision everything nothing's going on without total control and you all know that because look how well your life's orchestrated look how everything's just completely run it's all your life is so orchestrated then it's a crazy miracle that the people around you have free will because God's orchestrated them around you so how could they possibly have free will they were all orchestrated around you your people were all orchestrated for you and so and yet every but you're also being orchestrated around them and so they have free will you have free will how do we have free will and we all have total free will yet we're all being orchestrated around each other and all kinds of crazy perfect things are happening everywhere now of course that brings up the subject of suffering like people in abject suffering and we're still within the century of some of the worst suffering in millennia and again that's just a situation where we're we we're never gonna understand that we can't get our heads around that we don't we don't we'll never get we'll never understand that I mean the thought we have their lessons to learn like be compassionate be careful caring take care of people don't be evil like the perpetrators there's lessons but to understand it none of us are on that level to understand could you just shut off the heat please you guys had enough heat in here it's not even that cold out really it's just psychologically cold today I had a really psychologically cold moment today I was I took my eight-year-old boy out to lunch I like surprised him in his class it'shat hider and measuring and took him out to lunch he was so happy so I'm freezing in this restaurant it has these like brick walls I'm sitting next to a brick wall on this frozen day and then I finally like just touched the wall the texture of the wall and it was vinyl 3d like you could push in the bricks they were 3d was vinyl and I had been frozen for like a half hour straight sitting next to this vah brick wall that wasn't even cold to the touch that's why I like to look at the temperature of rainy days just to see if it's really freezing or it's just that it's raining my wife when the wind blows means it's cold maybe like the wind blows she's goes and so all my kids think it's freezing when it's windy but all the boys at least the girls all the boys are like and it's like a summer wind it's like 80 degrees out and all the girls are like oh my gosh just buddy up no it's just like birth right you know singing coal I'm cool oh and like this gigantic circle and the a.item what's up this giant circle with the module femur walk around like showing that it's a Gifford Sarma OHS so cute you don't have to see it's really not that's good that's like an everyday event at the Kotel okay I'm gonna take your question and based on that break yeah so there's a couple ways you guys want to talk about forgiveness for a minute of yourself and I'm starving so um so there's a couple ways a couple tricks you taking notes a couple things to know one thing we already spoke about see the innocence that's by the way the title of what I just called is called see the innocence it's a it's a it's got a term see the innocence see the innocence means if you saw their back when you realize this person's been through their own hell and you you wound up in Hell's way later it's not to see the innocence another one which we mentioned a little bit is that God doesn't make mistakes okay God doesn't make mistakes if you if you wound up there it was not by accident and that's another one another one is it's just your own self self love like self-preservation love is that think about it when you when you feel those feelings of resentment it's when you wish someone would die but you drink the poison meaning meaning not I'm this is more like you know in everything that remoted were motivated towards something but we're also motivated away from something you know like like rats move very quickly across a maze when you put cheese on the other side they move much quicker but if you put the smell of a cat behind them you know at the entrance of the maze they move like ten times quicker okay meaning if you want to make sure motivate in life first choose a reward that's gonna motivate you but then create the smell of a cat get really intensely and deeply clear with what get really present to what his life gonna look like if you don't succeed here what's your life gonna look like there that's the smell of the cat that'll keep you running that keeps you running real fast you don't want you don't want to look at life like that so anyway so the smell of the cat here is to is to realize that you're drinking poison every time you think about that person so it's maybe it's better you just let it go already and the and another another beautiful line I heard on this was that when you forgive somebody and when you when you forgive somebody write down the last one cuz and forget it's called the gift of forgiveness it remind me if I forget to say what that is so is any water here anyway you don't have to get you mine finding water I don't know where you're gonna find it you can even go beyond the barn filled tap water just let it run a little bit so what was I talking about yeah I know another great dick I was not discussing a cat so anyway um here's another beautiful line listen to this one you'll love this one when you forgive somebody you let them out of jail only to discover that person was you when you forgive somebody when you forgive somebody you've let someone out of jail only to discover that someone was you your when you have when you're resentful you're the one in jail yeah the next one's called the gift of forgiveness next one is the gift of forgiveness oh by the way the last one's called shredder and kiss I forget shredder yeah the next one's you ask the right person by the way anyway the gift of forgiveness is you any time you've ever forgiven someone it's almost always because they asked for it wasn't a gift it was earned like someone put their tail between their legs and humbly what came up and asked forgiveness if it wasn't how about you bright didn't really forgive them but if someone really like humbled themselves and paid that price and asked you for forgiveness you forgave them coz you sense like this person's really there like there they paid something for this forgiveness they put something in the gift of forgiveness is when you realize you just put this person never gonna ask and you're just drinking the poison this present bride doesn't even know your name anymore present don't you remember you with some lame Rebbe you add when you're in kid kid or some some evil principle or something and and so they don't even know who you are you're the one poisoning yourself this person is long gone they're certainly not asking forgiveness or even if they're in your life and they're not ask forgiveness just give the gift of forgiveness gift of forgiveness it's a gift that's where I'm gifting them a forgiveness even though they didn't do any of their work they didn't come humbly with their tail between their legs test for goodness I'm just gifting them that forgiveness that's the gift of forgiveness and and the next one is for shredder I'll take two cups please I'm feeling a little dehydrated thank you so much brother save my life I think oh that's for me oh thank you yeah both etad they're not a minutes between them aha cool near before I get a little refilled yeah can you imagine being so spiritually you forget to eat her drink I missed I missed five meals in a row I miss five meals in a row this week I mean I'm really like my wife's ready to kill me ready killing and she's my wife's a Jewish woman did you know my wife June so she's this Jewish woman who's like food is love food is live food is everything and she's married to this like leaf in the wind and she can look at my face and know if I ate and what happened she kept getting me to promise to eat and so I was like I was riding home and I'm like yes I'm gonna go to the village green and I'm gonna eat something and and and then like a block from the village green I get a phone call like someone needed some help and so I just kept repeating like you know I just wrote open and I wrote home and I got at home for a little while and then had to leave him run a seminar for four and a half hours and I don't eat late at night so that meant next morning but I was a no-name breakfast and so I I got to five meals straight so I'm being a really good boy today I already had a hamburger and I didn't even like meat I'm just trying to be I was like chewing on I was like trying to like not like shoot it all over my son hater burger not ever but it's been quite some time since I've had a burger and I can't say I enjoyed it if you stopped eating burgers you can't even look at them anymore yeah the burgers are like a brainwash from America or something you know who knows what's in those things soon you can like to see the mark where the jockey hit it that was bad okay you like okay so anyway the shredder thinking the shredder is that have you guys noticed that it's really hard to gather the past like someone show me yesterday and Q show me yesterday please take a little of yesterday we'd like to show me two days ago would you like to show me last week can someone show me IQ show me an hour ago please can I have five minutes please five minutes ago can you show me how about a minute ago would you show me half a minute ago would someone show me a second ago can someone show me like with all of our technology every we got a lot of tech can someone show me a half a second ago about a quarter second ago how about a eighth of a second ago that's the shredder is all present is going through a shredder here in the future it's a blank document stack of paper here's a printer right that's now it's printing this is being chat where we are right now that's a printer with just blink paper and it's every moments going out of shredder you know what you've been doing in your life all these years well let me put it like this you ever seen you ever seen in wealthy communities where people walk their dogs in and wealthy people have a lot of dogs or they have little kids more dogs or at least a dog one dog so anyway they walk with a they walk with a it's like a spatula it's like a it's like a what do you call it cow flesh a dustpan it's like a dustpan with a steak it's called a pooper scooper so you don't you've been doing all your life you've been taking your pooper-scooper you've been digging it into the past and flinging it all over the blank paper and that's what's been feeding your present you've had your past like totally mixed into your future and what that really means you know what your problem is your problem is that your future has been full you know what it's full of its full the past and you keep thinking if you do this you do that if you do this you do that you do this to do that you do this do that somehow it's gonna get better but when you just do do do and do all you get is do to everywhere you have to you have to release you got to release the past got to release the past and you do your when you do you do clean you're cleanly doing your like doing things into the future from a very clean place not just like not like like one foot on the gas pedal and one foot on the brakes which is how you probably do most things cuz you're just so scared of like what could what could possibly happen in the next future moments that would match some horrible difficulty I had when I was a kid like how do wait how can I possibly avoid more heartbreak in my life from more failures or rejections or anything so you just like to do a ton but none of its effective doing because you got your foot on the brakes the whole time trying to protect yourself from matching the past in other words you just got the past wrapped up in your future you ever tried to read a document that's already been written on like you accidentally printed on a pre-printed on document it's not so legible our lives aren't so legible often because our past has been mixed up with the future now the acceptance when you accept somebody it leads to feelings of love who do you love you love anyone who accepts you that's what you love which is really sad by the way it's really sad because you're really loving is yourself you don't even love them you just love people who hold of you you love people make you feel significant which means you don't love them you love yourself which is why it's so important to love yourself please think whatever you got to do to love yourself you better get it done before you choose someone to marry because otherwise you're just marrying yourself and if you ever do and if you ever do love yourself someday who says you're gonna still love them I mean when you're finally gonna choose someone to live the rest of your life with make sure it's the person you're choosing not just how you feel about yourself when you're with them like they make you look good at parties or something or or they make you feel smart or there's some other stupid thing when you finally love yourself yeah let's work on ourselves don't worry about others when you let's first love ourselves and then we couldn't talk about loving other people that's why do you think the Torah says so so succinctly so awesome no one even gets the line but now you'll all get it love your neighbor as yourself maybe only in as much as you love yourself could you ever love another person because otherwise in as much as you don't love yourself you're filling those gaps with by using people Torre's like always nails the words right away like love your neighbor as yourself again only in as much as you love yourself can you love your neighbor that's your capacity it's telling you actual the actual capacity of love would be based on how much you love yourself and so this should be freaking out a lot to you because because you've been dreaming all this time that someone's gonna come fill your gap someone's gonna somehow fill this hole in your heart well guess what it doesn't work and it's not really fair either because you're gonna make some man or some woman miserable because you're gonna make them make it so damn clear that they're not doing the job because it's an impossible job but you're so dead set on them doing it that you'll just give them 30 years of hell until maybe someday you'll get over yourself realize that you're the one you got to love and then you can actually maybe see somebody I knew I was so nice because I'm asking another question who do you hate we asked we do love that's whoever accepts you who do you hate well it's an easy tu whoever doesn't whoever doesn't accept you think about it everyone you don't like I know you've based on how many years you've known them is how many reasons you put on your hate list for about them you know like let's say you know no guy for five years and you've known the gal for five years so you'll have like a nice list like a hundred items if you get to know them you get to know it because everything little thing they do everything they do is like witchcraft every little thing they do is witchcraft yeah it's like they're just they're just pointed ears with fangs these people and the longer you know them the more you hate them but if you really were honest you'd go back and back him back to the very beginning is that you felt at one point or another that they didn't accept you for who you were and they may never have never spoken you it's just that the guy so damn smart then I feel like an idiot around them and then I had spent my next five years learning in yeshiva with him and so I just destroyed him in my heart only to find out later and this happened to me this very story happened to me hated this guy and five years later I get called in to Asia tour like the the you know that one of the managing staff members into a meeting and he says we've got a promotion for you I said that's amazing whose idea was that he said it was Jim's idea I'm skipping his Hebrew name it was Jim's idea I'm like Jim's yeah is there something wrong with that and I'm like there's nothing wrong with that I'll take that promotion thank you I've run out the door I run to the basement I grabbed him by the shirt collar and said like what the hell man you hate me I hate you I thought you ain't me why'd you suggest me for a promotion he says you're the best guy for the job and well how come you never say hi how come you never say good shabbos how come you never look at me you never you never like I walk in a room you put your head down and Jim says Jim says again Jim's Jim's 1600 on his SATs he's laude Harvard mathematician Jim says to me a young tough you made more friends when you came to Asia tour in six minutes than I made six months I feel like a nerd when you're around now tell me what do you think I did with my hundred item list of five years gathering every reason why Jim's a jerk what do you think I did with that list how fast does that let's go poof poof it's gone Hashem d-boys ally here's my helper Jim Jim Lee Boies RI all of a sudden Jim's might help her Viney yeah and I will see my enemy Andy ever so now I realized that my enemies not my enemy might hit me and Jim didn't serve to boost my ego in some way or another make me feel accepted and significant and so I just wiped him out of my list of you know I put him on my list that's how important acceptances and once you get that definition that that had I lived that person's life that would be me you can accept absolutely everyone unless they're I'm a lake shallow everybody have a beautiful day oh wait guys I keep forgetting this rabbi feeds a family every Shabbos and whatever we give is what that family eats this rabbi here at the black hat he goes and brings amazing amazing stuff if it folds it creates like fish and meat and if it jingles it creates like Pringles but you can you can buy if it's just changed they'll bite you'll get drinks for them if it holds you can actually feed them with meat and you'll feel so much better sitting in a shop is still annoying you help feed a family thank you hey someone sent a note saying thank you for the truth rabbit andrew what's up how you doing Andrew Haley wow I didn't know I could say she what's up Bobby Reena Reedy Reba what's up uh yeah hi Simon