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It’s not as glamorous as it seems.
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I want to be real with you guys. Like
really real. Like even a little bit
vulnerable
real. I have been having a hard time
creating
content the past little while. And I
think it comes from a few
factors. There's imposttor syndrome. You
know, I say to myself, who am I to be
giving people
messages? And there's this sort of
pressure that comes along with the whole
thing. I'm not a big influencer, but I'm
also not a small influencer either. Um,
let's call it a midsize. And it comes
with a lot of insecurities. Believe it
or not, I have a friend of mine who
wants to start putting out content and
he asked me what my advice was. And I
joked with him, but I was kind of
serious. I said, "My advice is don't do
it because it's a miserable life. It's
miserable. You lose both ways. You lose
if you create bad content because you
feel bad about yourself because nobody
is watching it. And then you feel bad
you spend so much time and energy on it.
And you lose if you create great content
and it goes viral because you're stuck
chasing that virality and that feeling
all the time. So, you really lose both
ways. If you win, you lose. And if you
lose, you lose. And why am I sharing
with this with you? Because I at the end
of the day, I want you to know me for
who I am, not just for the little minute
videos, couple minute videos that I put
out. I think it's important to know the
full me. I want to be completely me. And
I think that that's how I'm going to
break through my little blockage that
I'm going
through, which is just be me,
unadashedly me. Not me trying to pretend
to be somebody else. Not me hiding, you
know, difficulties that I'm going
through, but me in my best moments and
me in my tough moments. And if I'm able
to truly just be me and let that shine
through the camera, then I could do this
forever because then I'm not trying
to put a show out there, which is such a
painful such a painful way to live. I
just want to be me. just want to be
accepted for who I am. And uh there's no
happy ending to this story. There's no
lesson here to be learned. This is just
a vent and a hopefully an opportunity to
share with you who I truly am and and
how I truly feel when I'm not in one of
my best moments. Anyways, I love you
guys. Thank you for being my friend and
uh you're the best. What what could I
say?