Israel Inspired: Gaining What You Can’t Lose

I don't know what will happen now we've got some difficult days ahead but it isn't a matter with me now because I've been to the mountaintop like anybody I would like to live a long life longevity has its place but I'm not concerned about that now I just want to do [Music] [Applause] [Music] and now live from Jerusalem you're listening to Israel inspired radio here your hosts rabbis Aria bream woods and Jeremy Gimpel show them you were listening to the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm heartbreaking words that always touches me I always get goosebumps listening to the prophetic words of Reverend Martin Luther King because that was his last speech that he gave before he was shot and killed and he went up to the mountain and that's what happened in this week's Torah portion Hashem said to Moshe go up to the mountain of Overeem and see the land that I have given to the children of Israel you shall see it and you shall be gathered unto your people you're not going to be able to enter the land but I think there was a deeper also deeper connections between Moshe Rabbeinu and Martin Luther King but before we talk about those great leaders we got another great leader right here Jeremy Gimpel Thank You Ari that's good company huh very nice company I appreciate you so what do you what do you feel when you listen to that Martin Luther King speech you know I often when I speak to younger audiences I talked about many times Martin Luther King jr. references back to the story of the Jewish people and he talks about breaking the bondages of slavery and traveling through the deserts and climbing the mountaintop and peering into the Promised Land and it's almost as if the story of the Jewish people inspired the civil rights movement in the United States of the concept of Adam and Eve Robert Selim Elohim that man was created in the image of God and it doesn't matter what color your skin is but all men was created in the image of God and to think that the story of the Jewish people for so many thousands of years has shifted global consciousness has changed the way the world sees humanity the way the world sees each other and in the Jewish people continue to change the world well I also think there's a reason that out of all the civil rights leaders there's Martin Luther King Day because he was the most successful and why because he was in my opinion even though I really have grown to a certain affection for Malcolm X which is a little curious because he wasn't the biggest fan of the Jews but there's something about him I deeply respect but Martin Luther King saw the good in he he said to America you're better than this look at your own words there the I think the parallels between Moshe Robina when when it was clear that he was not going to enter the land he says may Hashem appoint someone who will go out and come in before them who will take them out and bring them in and so I was reading that it's like really sort of curious wording what does that mean to take them out and bring them in and rabbi Weiss brings rabbis wise explanation he says that a leader has two roles to lead by example as well as to direct the people as to what needs to be done right leading by example they both did that Moshe gave up on privilege and position of royalty for Ami's Rael he suffered for them he took responsibility for their sins right remember he said Mahaney nama cifra if you're gonna erase this people God erased me too and Martin Luther King not only did he suffer for the cause but he died for his cause and he also led by example and so there's a certain power to that type of leadership but it's also meaning meaningful for me because as I was reading this here it was right on my balcony my Muir pass it and I'm looking over at the very mountains that Moses looked into the land from right it's right here it's right here like we're looking back at him from inside the land and I would think about that maybe in some ways he was looking into the land and also looking into the future seeing what Israel would eventually become because even in the words of the Torah it says twice that the Jewish people will be exiled from the land and will be restored to the land and Moshe is the one that wrote these words so he had a vision of not only entering into the land in the times of Joshua but entering into the land in the times of nefesh benefice and he was able to see what Israel would be and so looking back at him where we are right now is just marvelous right and he was the greatest of all prophets so they say in a sort of skin tingling DVAR Torah idea that the when the prophets entered the land they prophesized and saw all of the blood and Wars and horror that were going to happen to the Jewish people there and what Rosh Lomo says that they didn't realize at the time that that was because of them the spice that was because of the spies all those things that were going to happen because of what they were just about to do but they allowed the vision of the outcome to sow terrify them that they brought about that outcome themselves interestingly enough but Moshe is rational logical to think that when he looked into the land he saw the entire thing from the beginning of it to the end not only geographically but also chronologically and one of my favorite Torah ideas that I'd love to share when people come out here to the farm is that the BAA he says that why didn't want to enter the land to eat the fruits of the Land of Israel you can't eat the soil the actual earth of the land that we know has sparks of tremendous holiness so when you eat the fruits and the grains of the Land of Israel you are integrating that into your system the very every seven years our body is regenerated based on what we eat so when you eat the fruits and the grains of the land dividual your physical body becomes the Land of Israel but I actually thought of something the other night that was even deeper than that why is that so perfect because at least for me and my understanding of my Jewish experience it's that in the Exile my Judaism was an external more superficial part it was one of the different descriptions yes it was always a very central one but it was one of the many things that I did it wasn't like the tote of me I didn't live and breathe it but here when at least for me and I believe the Jewish people in general when we're in Israel it becomes a holistic integrated totality where we connect with the land into our Jewish identity and to God and to each other in such a deeper more holistic way than we could ever do simply by intellectually learning things and feeling it it's a proud product of actually being here on the land itself you know you talk about exiled Judaism and I think that the quintessential Exile Judaism is Reform Judaism you know Reform Judaism established in the 1800's by German Jews and their entire purpose was to leave the Jewish people to leave the nation of Israel they erased the return to Zion to rebuilding Jerusalem they started ceremonies resemble those of churches right the rabbi started dressing up like Christian priests the synagogue's were built in a way to just allow them to be Germans of mosaic persuasion and now Reform Judaism is in this just articles and articles are being written all of the time now about their claim to the Kotel to the Western Wall and how they want to change the Jewish way of worship which is you know been this way since the times of the temple that men are on one side and women are on another side creating a certain level of modesty and focus and prayer and not checking each other out at our holiest site and I just find it well this is going to be a little bit politically incorrect but I find it infuriating in the hypocrisy of it all I mean the reformed Jews that did see Judaism is just like yeah I'm a Yankees fan I am an American I also by the way I have this reformed Judaism thing that maybe I'll go to synagogue once a month but they systematically erased Israel Jerusalem being a Jew from their theology in fact it's the reformed Jews that are the biggest most vocal advocates for surrendering any land that was captured in 1967 the Kotel was captured in 1967 what is there now attachment to the Kotel if they theologically detached themselves from Israel from Zion from Jerusalem it just seems like hypocrisy heaped up with more hypocrisy and that's why Reform Judaism in the United States there's now an 80 to 90 percent assimilation rate because it's just fluff on top of fluff mixed in with hypocrisy that doesn't make any sense okay well when you say hypocrisy on top of hypocrisy I just have to for me it resonates that I feel like I see a lot of hypocrisy and myself and these reformed Jews literally what more can you expect they've never gotten any authentic Torah concepts taught to them at the authentic Jewish education everything that they've been taught is simply built in to that worldview from their bar mitzvah which is just a symbolic ceremony that costs one hundred and fifty thousand dollars where they bring in Snoop Dogg to rap and they're like well that's Judaism well no because I'm saying I don't disagree with your point I actually think it's quite insightful but I think we need to be more generous well I would say that the reformed Jews generous isn't even the word it's compassionate I pity them I'm so sad that they've been robbed of 4,000 years of heritage that they don't know the first thing about what I need you to be generous to understand that yes you're right they've been robbed but there's something inside them that's still like I'm not gonna just walk away from this I'm going to be a reformed Jew there's something in their soul it's like I am a Jew and I'm going this is the way it makes the most sense to me understand it now manifest to me but at least they're not just like I don't care I think my my words were more directed at their political leadership then the actual reformed Jews themselves it's the blind leading the blind that's the truth that's the truth we have many many Jews from around the world listen to our show Christians listen to our show I would bet that you could take the average Jew or Christian listener on our show rabbi pastor or not and they would be able to out Bible the average reformed rabbi I mean there's just so much confusion there's so much confusion you know Donald Trump would just I just heard an interview that he did with Huckabee and and huckabee asked him about the embassy listen to this the embassy was moved from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem I was there it was as surreal a moment as I've ever witnessed you made that promise you kept that promise what was it that just this made you decide to do what no other president even though they had promised it as well what made you decide I'm gonna do this because I said it would well the embassy was a big thing but it was for many presidents before me and everybody campaigned that they were going to move the embassy to Jerusalem and nobody did it and I never understood why I really never did I knew there would be pressure but I never understood but I do understand now because two weeks before I did it when the word was out that I was going to do it I was called by so many countries saying please don't do it I mean I was called actually get to a point where I said I'll call you back in a week because I didn't want to have him tell me don't do it and then I do it because I was going to do it it was a campaign promise I thought it was very important and you know who really likes it the most of the evangelicals I'll tell you what I get more calls of thank you from evangelicals and I see it in the audiences and everything else then I do from Jewish people and the Jewish people appreciate it but the evangelicals appreciate more than the Jews which is incredible but it's not a surprise of mr. president because evangelicals are people of the book and they believe that you kept a promise that was fulfilling really 3,000 year old commitment to recognize Jerusalem as the capital I think it's a nice thing to say because it really I mean you know it really affects Jewish people in theory more yeah but as you say people of the book okay people of the Bible but the evangelicals really appreciate it and that makes me feel good but nobody did it I never understood why as soon as that second week head up and once I did it it was something very special it's an important event you know polls were taken and it said that the majority of American Jews were not happy with the embassy moved to Jerusalem and that's like exactly what we're talking about how the American Jewish community I think it was 30 percent that actually supported it yeah 30 percent and so and as ray'll 80% and if those statistics are wrong someone has to show me because I was sent links to exactly those numbers but you know that's but I was reading an article just yesterday that it started off and I thought it was one thing and then when I found out what it actually was it blew my mind okay I was just I was so shocked and surprised by it it's by this guy Angus Johnson I'm pretty sure he's a Jew from the infuriatingly insane tone of the article and I say that with all love in my heart but he was talking about this an American professor named Henry Cadbury in 1934 and he urged the Jews to be civil to the Nazis right now I thought this article was going in the direction that makes the most sense to me is that why do leftist Jews turn against Israel there were parties that were saying Jews for Hitler and supporter in some sort of hope that if they side with the enemies of Israel that somehow they'll be exempt there'll be the good Jews they'll be but that's not what he was saying he said so this professor he quoted to said by hating Hitler and fighting back Jews are only increasing the severity of the policies against them so he spoke for civility and this Angus Johnston guy Johnson he went on to parallel Hitler to trump saying Jews should learn from this and should not be civil and have to stand against Trump no matter what and you know comparing Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler if they don't learn that's like unbelievable the the president that at least I must throw my hat in the ring here and say he has been the best president to Jews I mean you heard what he said that nations are calling him the reason that he said all of these presidents wanted to move the embassy but they didn't is because when it actually came down to it they didn't have the fortitude and the strength and the character to stand up to the world when the whole world is saying don't do this I know that part of the most interesting love it why was the whole world calling President Donald Trump they don't move the embassy don't move the embassy what is their obsession tell you what I think the obsession isn't it's not some sort of sinister jew-hatred I don't think so I think it's just a pragmatism it's like do we want the Powder Keg of the Middle East to explode do we want a world war don't move the embassy just things are not there's not a global war with mass casualties of hundreds of millions in nuclear wars it's such a powder keg over here you know it's almost like Europe wants to die but they want to die slowly and it's kind of like make it as painless as possible but they're they're gonna die they're committing suicide they're not having children they're bringing millions of Muslims into their country and it's like they don't they like giving up on winning this and Donald Trump's like no we want Israel to be strong because Israel is America's Ally and we want to win this I love by the way that's one of his approaches that I really respect and I'm grateful for that he doesn't pull this thing the past presidents have pulled that it's some sort of magnanimous benevolent gesture of why they support Israel no no that's not it America is Israel's ally yes there's a shared values but there's also shared interests and in Israel is critical for America on military front strategic front intelligence front of many different fronts and it's much more of an eye-to-eye respectful relationship at least that's the feeling I get with Trump but I just like the fact he said I call me next week because he didn't want to have to say he already knew he was gonna do it he's gonna do it and sometimes I just think about him he's like sort of so impulsive that massive historical moves he'll decide like while he's eating a burger I don't know if that's true I thought he made a campaign promise saying this is the right thing to do I know do what's right when you listen to the interview with Huckabee he's talking about this and that issue in this issue in that issue and then move the embassy meaning it was an important thing but it was a thing that he did last week right you know and it was like huge you know it's interesting you know Netanyahu just came out saying that members of Knesset are now allowed once again to ascend the Temple Mount meaning you know if you ever want to know what's happening in the world what's happening in Israel what's happening to the Jewish people what's happening really in the heart of God I believe is you see what's happening on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem that really is like the epicenter of it all and that moved to Jerusalem the embassy move it's gonna have rip affects for many many years and we can already see things are just shifting all around the world things are Slovakia just said last week that they're now moving their embassy to Jerusalem and joining the other countries that are Australia just declared that they're ending all direct aid to the Palestinian Authority yeah he's really he's changing the world order he's changing I don't like the world order idea but he's changing the world okay I don't know what's the difference you know there's a lot of whatever the new world order the world order is it's just there's a lot of baggage there for a lot of people or maybe Navi I'm just doing that they're structures within the world right now with the European Union controlled by Germany that you know are moving and shaking and taking things and he's rattling the cage he's shaking things up and he's reordering what was the order up until now that's right and I always get a little bit embarrassed you know and I know that Huckabee didn't mean this in a negative way okay and I because at first I took offense to it and then I sort of thought deeper about what he was saying but when he said it's not surprising evangelicals are people of the book right so I was like well Jews are people of the book but not really well here's the thing Jews are people of the book now not every Jew in America overwhelmingly identifying Jew but not all and also not in Israel Judaism is definitely of the book and the nation of Israel are the people of the book on a macro level but he's saying you know there's many many many Christians now evangelical Christians if they identify himself as such it's the equivalent of a Jew identifying himself as a god-fearing Torah observant Jew I would love to know the stats on how many American Jews have read the Tanakh from cover to cover I wouldn't matter that no poll has been taken on that it is so small because the ultra-orthodox american jews don't really learn the Tanakh the conservative to reform i don't know how much Torah they study at all never mind cover to cover I just feel like when he says like listen the Christians are the people of the book and the Jews in America are not just yesterday on my balcony shows up a family and their little baby I said what's the baby's name and they said Sol they said you know who si Ella was and I said I made a little running gesture because he was the one that ran light on his feet and that oven air killed and you know just walking through the streets of Jerusalem you need to know the Tanakh if you want to know who all this characters are that the streets are named after just meeting the people here the people that pull out names from the Tanakh from the deepest most obscure places and shared deep reasons why those are their names which is why this article is so twisted this guy's saying we need to learn from the the civility and the appeasement of by Jews of Hitler for Hitler before the Holocaust and turn against try it's the exact opposite of the point the exact opposite so antithetical to the truth that he's saying no no we need to turn against Trump who has been the best to juice to over identify with this leftist liberal agenda that we have come to identify as us over our very Judaism that's why in this week's Torah portion right it's it's it's pin Haas the zealot and then the haftorah the part that we read from the prophets is about Elijah the Prophet when he's running away from from the king and uh has uh of Anandi's fo and he's running away why because he just stood in front of the entire nation of Israel and they were worshiping so many of them were worshipping bow and they also worship the God of Israel he said ah dammit I attempt post-chemo stay safe him until when are you going to stand on both sides of the fence right that's what I feel like these American Jews have earned only standing on both sides of the fence they've jumped to the other side altogether and they don't even know that they're on the other side well here's your night of the trash you know it says it's the first Redemption is a blueprint for the final Redemption and it says that you know how Mishima Lubin a story al merito each time that we went up armed and then Rashi says how Mishima is only one fifth and if you look at the assimilation rate of American Jews today it's you know it's about eighty percent and it seems as though there is this process of elimination then it could be that this 80% of the American Jews in another generation or two are really just meant to disappear into the nations and then maybe in some point you know they'll mayor some Christian and then that Christian person will realize oh my goodness my father or my grandfather was a Jew and we meet so many people like that now every time I hear that type of talk which is not infrequent I have an internal natural aversion that is so overwhelming that is almost the conviction of I don't want to say like prophetic but it feels like I just know that that's not a relevant comment in another generation or two we don't have another generation or two of being in America we just don't I feel so I could be wrong here but I feel so overwhelmingly strong because also when you look at this is an interesting study I'd like to do the degree the level of assimilation in countries that have hosted Jews throughout the years and at what level of assimilation does the natural to the host country turn against the Jews right because at a certain point it's a tipping point in a nation just disappears into history and assimilates and that's just the way the natural order goes but as that's happening to Jews who often are running at top speed with their arms open to embrace the assimilated idea and to leave their Judaism behind when it gets to a certain tipping point like in Nazi Germany 70 percent 70 plus percent of Jews were intermarried they were in the arts and the sciences and the government they were so deeply integrated into German society you could tell who they were a Jew if they were more patriotic to Germany than the average German but there's something that's different about the United States than Germany of course there's many differences but it's the fundamental meaning all of the other exiles of the past the countries had very strong national identities as Germans as Spaniards in America it's just it's a country of immigrants where people are coming from Mexico and from China and from all over integrating into this big pot called so absolutely it's always different so of course there's different but to me just replace nationalism with ideological the world is being globalized and the parties the camps are really the dust is settling and its people with conservative biblical values and those that are leftist and and are more humanist and not nationalists or religious those are the different camps so instead of saying nationalism is shifted with leftism okay and that's the new assimilation or sprint towards assimilation okay so I don't understand that so then why doesn't American Jews have another generation or two in the United States if there's two camps so obviously because every time that we try to assimilate and be like the Gentiles and leave our Judaism behind God says no other nations yes you know and the very people who were trying to assimilate into our as if a spirit has overtaken them repulsed by us because I think I just ran against it I just want had a certain tipping point that I feel like is being reached already it could be the right but on the other hand the difference this day is that the State of Israel is growing and thriving it really could be that the Jews outside of the State of Israel they could be that they'll be persecution like there wasn't France and they'll be mad I'm not saying that you keep drawing exact parallels and I'm not saying that I'm not saying that there's going to be a concentration camps I don't think America is made of that fabric that's not the way it would go it will be different but there will be a repulsion a Jews the con following conversation will happen but I believe I'm with you so what if I'm a Jew you're gonna not let me be a part I believe in your cause more I'll fight with you no you're a June you have dual loyalties and in a push towards forcing Jews into their Jewish identity and which will bring them into a greater Aliyah I don't know how things will play out but I feel very strongly that this it's going to turn back on them and think we don't have the next generation the next 10 years is not going to resemble the last 10 years that's what I'm saying that things are going to be different moving forward that we're in a time of tremendous volatility and to talk about two generations from now as if things will just continue on we talked about the Black Swan idea also that the external global events shift the very course of nature and to extrapolate time into the future as if it's just going to all continue without any exogenous events that's that's all I'm saying now before we move on cuz they're just you know lately I've been really dipping in to the Torah portion for strength we believe that the events of the Torah portion very much are influenced and integrated and woven in with time where we're at what the actual week looks like so I feel like I'm able to get strength from that but I just wanted to check in with you because this is a pretty big transition we haven't seen each other much this week because you have been with your family packing up your life my whole life your whole life we're having a big yard sale today giving away so much stuff that we've collected over the years because we're getting ready to move to the mountain moving to the mountain you know Moses emotion wanted that more than anything yeah you know it's a you talk about this week's Torah portion and there was a moment where I you know I just very much identified with pin Haas we're pin house just saw what needed to be done and it's like I'm not gonna think this through I'm just gonna go and do it I know what's right the Rambam talks about serving God in the highest manner and the Rambam says a set a time it may pan Asia he I am it just doing the truth because it's the truth not because you're looking for some sort of reward in the world to come or not because you think that you might get punished if you don't but just doing what's right because it's right so so here's I'm so glad you said that because someone just asked me last night we were talking about the partion he said would you do what PIMCO's did so for me I might I was I've had to think about I said the answer is if I felt it in my heart that sort of finger of Hashem touch that I've on this journey through life and especially since living out here in the hills of Judea I've been oh that's a God feeling I need to go with that intuition right there it's hard to put you you can't describe it in words but if you're led to do something you know in your heart this is what you need to do you don't run it through the filter of your brain first well so here's the challenge that I'm going through at this point in the game is that yeah let me just guess and then you tell me okay as I look at you and I feel like you are now in the point after Pinkus killed that cozbie and zemurray and before any consequences happened yet and you're like I just did that because you're already in you've already jumped over to the other side has been done your house is sold legally the police will evict you from your home if you don't leave in three weeks this has happened already so although you're not living out here yet it's already happened is that sort of where you're at yeah that's exactly where I met there's a you know the me Josh talks about Avraham you know having this God moment where he's called to bring up Isaac as a sacrifice in Jerusalem and you know he has this incredible powerful conviction that he believes that he feels is God's will in his life and then he picks up Isaac and they start walking to Jerusalem and then the me Josh says that for three days he had no contact with God and he just felt very alone and then the Midrash goes on and I colorfully you know articulates that you know all these doubts start creeping into Abraham he meets the Satan himself and starts convincing this is not the right thing to do it's immoral are you sure you want to do this this isn't even how are you how was your seat going to continue if you kill Isaac throwing all of these doubts into him and Avraham is all alone kind of looking up for God looking for that moment of confirmation saying gosh am am i doing the right thing and I Shem leaves him totally alone just walking for three days with no confirmation with no encouragement with no sense of the word that God feeling go I'm doing this thing and I'm on my way to sacrifice Isaac but I I'm just I feel very alienated right now and so you know I've jumped in I've done this pin Haas moment trying to follow the truth of what I believe was the right thing for me in my life but this stage in the game I feel very alone and I having these moments where I wake up in the morning and I'm just overwhelmed with fear and anxiety and I just I you know I wake up and I go to Sheol and I put my Tallis over my head and I just burst out crying and I don't even know what I'm crying about and I'm just like with my tallest my to fill in just crying in Sheol I don't think anyone sees me because my Tallis is over my head and then I kind of let all of this pent-up emotions out and then I kind of start my dynamite all right okay gather myself together and let's start packing and we're moving out to this mountain yeah and you said to me something the other day I feel like sometimes you say things to sort of talk yourself down and you said a very good point you said tequila is so strong that if she's happy you said that you were afraid that she would think that you are will you listen you know I'm moving out here and my house isn't complete yet and we have things that we need to do we're gonna have to tent it out somewhere campout somewhere until the house is finished you thought it was gonna be done by the time you needed to move out of your house yeah you know and I thought it was gonna be I feel like isn't that construction 101 that it's never done done the same thing yeah anyway you know we we've already like the guy looks like he knows what he's talking about this part it's built into the code this is just like what we've done like we have consequences now we've just you know slayed Zimri and Kazmir like Oh was that the right thing to do like what our house is sold we are leaving in three weeks and you know it's just it's a little bit of a terrifying time I feel like I'm learning a little bit how to walk but then I think about you know I'm about to release you know my music album probably after I move here and we just you know finished filming the music video and I'm really excited about it I'm playing the triangle which makes makes the whole thing it's the best video and you know I try in the video to sort of capture the last three years of being out on this mountain and it was just alone and ecstatic prayer and worship with my guitar singing to God thanking him and praising him for bringing me to this mountain and allowing me to be alive in these days to see the miracles of the things that are happening on this mountain it's just like this amazing music video with drone footage of me on the mountain playing the guitar over the looking this cliff and these amazing views here and now I look at myself and I'm like quivering and trembling and daunting crying feeling very alone and I'm like wow this is like is that the same person and you know I've been struggling like why is this a part of the spiritual journey meaning it seems to be built into the system the fact that Abraham had a moment of inspiration had to act on that moment of inspiration and then was left alone that's what I've been telling you and I want you to continue but if over the years of the 20 years of our friendship for however many years it is almost that for some reason it's become like I grade myself and sometimes you say you ask for a grade on how you're doing in life and you know I'm a hard grader right I can count on one hand where I've ever given you an A but I feel like you have an A that's really nice even though you're in anxious and you're crying but considering the wave of what's Hashem is sending over you in my perception at least this is the you are your family is depending on you and you are holding them you know you're keeping this inside in your rock for it to heal and for the kids and I could just see that things are in a good way in your well let me tell you if there's anyone that's a rock it's not me for tehila it's tehila for me she is such a hero I mean she has no nervousness at all she knows she's had dreams about this place since she was 18 this was her dream we'll figure it out we live in a tent with my parents house we'll go somewhere but don't worry you know it says that Eretz astre el Nika net be serene the land of Israel is acquired through hardships and so we are doing our step to acquire this part of the Land of Israel and you know I think about it sometimes by just taking a step back we are pioneering the deepest settlement in southeastern Judea we are literally at the tip of the spear and that's gonna go there's gonna be usury money I knew that when I came here that I was stepping into shoes that were a little bit big for me but you know this is the chance to really that's one way to put it I think I remember our conversations a but a little bit clearer than that I don't think we said this is a little bit bigger no we're like what in those it's by many exponents beyond anything that we've ever encountered before so I wanted to share with you you know what are my thoughts about why is this a part of the journey in a Rebbe Nachman talks about the idea of ruts over shove that Yaakov saw angels ascending to heaven and descending from heaven and Rebbe Nachman teaches that our relationship with God is in a constant waxing and waning times of closeness where you ecstatic prayer on a mountaintop and then times of sadness where you feel so distant alienated and alone and I was like what is the purpose here of this times of being alone and I feel like right now they know there's a lot of doubts that are creeping in there's a lot of like fears that are creeping in and I feel like there's a time now that I'm able to serve Hashem leash MA where it's just serving God for the sake of serving God that without doubt then yam and of course I'm doing it I'm with God I'm with I'm with Olam haba with the world to come I have all of these things but when I feel all alone it's almost like serving God within a place of doubt is allowing me to really serve God truly for the sort of Kabbalists out there I would say the point you're at now is you're raising the sparks from the lowest places that they've fallen does that make sense to you a little bit I mean I wish I knew the lowest places they fall in meaning the places of questions and confusion and doubt and stepping forward in that sometimes you know I think even if you have all the clarity's and the mantras and the realizations of Hashem running the world they're going to be times where a spirit is put over you of fear and doubt and confusion then the question is how do you operate from there that to determine whether you raise the spark and so can I serve God without that kind of feedback of feeling close to him can I serve God from a place of just doing what's right because I know that it's right and I feel like in some ways it's kind of teaching me to walk in the world you know like you know when I remember when no one was just learning how to walk so you kind of hold his hand a little bit then you want to let go and see if he can take a few more steps so I feel like in some ways I Shanna's also allowing me to feel like what it is to be independent what it is to to walk in the world and I've also really started to identify a little bit more with secular Jews and secular people in general to realize that there is a spectrum of spirituality the same way that there's you know a genius in IQ and there's retardation in IQ there's like people that have brilliant minds so also in spirituality there's a spectrum there are people that are spiritual geniuses let's call those people the profits and there's people that have a spiritual autism that they just they can't feel God they can't see God they don't feel it it's just it's another sense that can either be over developed or underdeveloped but I find that in the spiritual spectrum all of us kind of are on a pendulum where we rock back and forth and I was talking to tehila about it and she says you know every real relationship you know between husband and wife there are times of intimacy and then there's times of distance there are times of need our you're separate from your wife and there's times of closeness where you're allowed to be with your wife and so a living breathing real relationship has times of distance and times of closeness and it seems as though I'm really being challenged to my core because if there was ever a time that I would like em to be holding my hand it's like the three weeks before I'm leaving my home moving out into the pioneering mountains of Judea but for one reason or another he's just kind of sent me off on my own and I guess this is just my walk with Isaac and my family hoping that before you know the angel will appear and say like alright you've made it welcome right so I'll just say that this is one part from this week's Torah portion I think really speaks to you right now and it's funny because you know Hussey Deut is so beautiful that's so deep and it brings out the different dimensions of Torah and someone that doesn't understand the multi-faceted multi-dimensional of the Torah would be like what you got that from those words how does that even make sense if you look at it like a linear thing written by a person as opposed to the deepest Multi infinite levels of wisdom of course it's going to be that if you believe that the God that created the complexity of this world poured his wisdom into it so the words it's talking about the census ready for this Jeremy it's beautiful the verse a prompt says this that it says even a palü iliev what does that mean and Paulo's son is Eliav it's just like you know words in when it's talking about the sons of this and this in the census but who says his Palu means concealed concealed so even a Pulu people who are in a world of concealment right now Eliav needs remember le God is their father a world of concealment means that Hashem is concealed from them they can see who are right now Bonet Pulu children of concealment meaning like they're now in a world of concealment they don't see a sham everywhere remember LEF God is your father so you know in Shirish earring it talks it says that Hashem is mushiya Nina hollow nut nut seats mean ha ha rockin right that he's observing us through the windows and peeking through the crevices or the cracks in the wall and you know sometimes you read this stuff and it just sounds poetic and like they just wanted to make more sentences but when you understand that that's maybe how I would write a poem to just sound poetic that's really not the there's different ideas being conveyed here so when you're observing through a window so let's say your father is observing you through the window you see him and he sees you you see each other through the window but when he's peeking through a crevice or crack in the wall you look at the wall you don't see him but he sees you and not only that when he's peeking through the crack and you don't see him and he's focused more on you then when he's looking through the windows there's no peripheral vision no peripheral vision he's it's all on you and that's what I think it's important to remember right now especially during this move that while you may not feel it and see yeah Shems hand right now it's not your fault and be he is focused more on you he's more with you than when you may feel it yeah I really find the marvel and wonder of the perfect balance for free choice that Hashem reveals himself just enough for us to have Emunah and just enough for us to actually feel totally alone independent and alienated on this in this vast universe it's like the perfect thin veil that is the perfect balance for us to really live an independent life with the option of peering into the other world right and you know I've been sometimes we critique each other's presentations when we bring groups out here in people out here and you said to me something yesterday that got me thinking you said you always tell people when they tell you Oh Ari would self-sacrifice what miss C root fish that you you live out there that you live out here and that should people say that to me like wow you live at or what self-sacrifice and then I respond and say zero there's no self-sacrifice and living out here and so from like a minute you said to me from maybe maybe a material place you feel that way but on other levels you are suffering too you are sacrificing for this place when it comes to a lot of the stresses of this place the trying to keep the place afloat the fund raising the there are there is there are challenges deep significant challenges maybe not on the conventional since your comfort creature comforts but on other levels and that's why I just want to touch into for a second I want to touch into the what happened to Pincus because it's such an interesting thing he killed Cosby and Zima at the Midianite women were coming in at Balaam's advice to seduce the Israelite men because when they understood the wars and military strategy isn't going to work the only thing that's going to work against Israel is attacking them spiritually and interfering with their relationship with Hashem and turning Hashem against them that's the only thing that will work so the media night women came in to seduce the Israelite men and in the middle of the camp this prince from the tribe of Shimon is fornicating with zemurray this Midianite princess and Pinkus goes and kills them both now he's a prince from the tribe of Israel she this is royalty that he's dealing with he didn't think about what are the consequences of this it was sort of David like when he he was like who is this uncircumcised Philistine speaking against the armies of the Living God of Israel there was no like whoa what's he gonna do to me what's gonna happen to me pinless was so overwhelmed with the injustice not not the injustice the desecration of god's name that's happening here right now that he wasn't thinking about consequences he felt that thing in his heart and what did he get for it the covenant of peace and the kahuna priesthood and they're both so illogical because they are why the covenant of peace it's so obvious why that's such a strange thing to get for killing two people because you know if there were people that were claiming oh he was a descendant of vitro and Yitro was an idolaters it was more zealous and so it was from a place of violence that he did that that's why the Torah tells us that it was pinpress all the way back to our own right because he is the son of our own the Torah was saying that but who was our own our own was an ohef Shalom intro deaf Psalms someone that loved peace and pursued peace but he didn't actually get the covenant of peace what are the stories he used to go to a husband and say listen when they're fighting and there's about to be something bad that happens in a marital relationship because the husband says your wife really loves you and she misses you and she's she's really sorry and then he goes to the wife and says your husband is really sorry and they come together and they make up right he he sort of fudged things a little bit on the truth he would sacrifice truth for peace that's what Aaron did with the golden calf right he built the golden calf even though it was idolatry in order to keep peace in the camp so he bit so he pursued piece but the totality of peace we understand his ohev shall is sewer maravillosa toph right did I say that Saurav Oh Seto Vasa Tove is stray from evil hate evil and love good there's two sides of things and it's much more difficult for Jews in general to err on the side of the judgment part of it you know it's much easier to fudge the truth for peace because we're people that just want peace so but he went to the other side and he sacrificed peace for truth right and so this covenant of peace that he got and actually really is the covenant of peace because he understood that there's a totality for peace that is both hating evil and embracing good so we got the covent of a piece for killing two people and then the priesthood to get kahuna is also illogical and irrational because think about it wha Co hain is usually if there's a normal Cohen to descendant of Aaron and he kills someone that invalidates his Kahuna he loses his priesthood for killing someone and now Memphis becomes a Cohen for killing someone right it's just totally the opposite so why did he get priesthood for something that would normally invalidate a piece I don't know what I'm saying okay it's just thoughts that I was having and much of it as inspired by Rabbi Cahn but what is the job of a Cohen who brings a sacrifice to bring atonement for the nation and for the Jewish people and for individual Jews that's what a Cohen does and that sacrifice pin cos sacrificed in some way zemurray right the blood of the evil was like a sacrifice another it sounds extreme but there was a sacrifice but even what do I think the real sacrifice was he sacrificed his comfort zone what obviously this wasn't something that was easy for him and that he wanted to do that's why just like you selling your house you did it before thinking we can have security there's no fences there's no alarms I have six kids it's a building site there are Arabs there there's all of these wonderful wonderful valid rational pragmatic intentions that you could have taken into account but you just said I am just doing this which is why when I tried to talk you out of it not to talk you out of it but just to give you the devil's advocate use you got mad at me you know I don't want to hear it this is just what's happening you remember like a little conversation I had with the Gila about that where you got upset at me for that but I understand but the point is he said he went outside of his comfort zone but for those who said oh he just was a zealot we we have the other side and this is one of the things that people don't realize that PIMCO's actually went into the land of israel and when the tribes settled down right on the east side of the Jordan there was Reuven Godin cutscene Menasha Reuben God and half of the tribe of manasseh and this is not a you know a midrashic thing or a rabbinic thing you just open up to the 23rd chapter of the book of Joshua where it tells what actually played out there is that the tribes set up in and an altar there and of course this is this is right after Moses warnings and this was fresh in their minds about all the danger of Israel and idolatry and how that would be the worst thing ever and the rest of the tribe see that they built an altar and they were going to wipe out to those and a half tribes they were going to have a civil war so they sent pin cuts down there to investigate and he went and he had a conversation with them and he said oh no no no this is not an altar for foreign sacrificing guys this is like a memorial symbolic altar and he came back and said and there was no war not one drop of blood was spilled now if he was a zealot jumping to the sword every moment he would have just moved to action and that's it but no he actually prevented meaning that whichever way you want to say that his nature was predisposed him to being he went the other side too he expanded the range of his attributes and that's what rush near Zalman of leotta says that he you know he's the head of Habana he says it's about huh see dude but but really the Torah in general is that the whole idea is for man to transform the nature of his character that's it that's what we need to be able to do that's the calling and that's why I think he became a Cohen the priest because he sacrificed his natural predisposition to act for God that was not what he would naturally do so then I think what natural character attributes do we need to overcome as a nation as individuals and his people now get this okay I think I'm pretty sure this was from rabbi Cahn but hinted to this thing is the number of people that died in the plague the pin has stopped you remember how many people know 24,000 people died in the plague now you know where else 24,000 people died pin cusses great-grandfather was Navy no not great-grandfather not his grandfather's ancestor his the founder of the tribe was Lavy and Shimon was the FEV the ancestor of zemurray the person who and what do we remember about Shimon and Lavvy that the city of Shem right the the Prince of schlemm his name was time he raped Dina and he wanted to marry her and we don't know the backstory about what what happened there but he wanted to marry and they said sacra circumcise yourselves and on the third day after the city circumcised themselves they slayed the entire city 24,000 people interesting right 24,000 people died in that when they slayed the city of shrimp and 24,000 people died in the plague that zemurray caused by being with Cosby that's not a coincidence definitely not and then 24,000 people also died with Rabi Akiva students 24,000 people died so now this is sort of where I'm going off on my own thing my own thoughts but I was thinking what is like connecting this and Rabbi can definitely help me on this but I think I may have taken it I'm taking responsibility for this because it may be a little off I'm still working on the ideas but what is the thing that is connecting all of that and it's something that I think that we as Jews are struggling with now in our generation and it's the balance between inclusivity and exclusivity right so Zee Murray's motivation was very much a piece now motivation that's what we talked about last week he says let's just all be universal brothers let's all come together he felt some sort of artists say just say that maybe he even was destined to be with Cosby and and they were supposed to that he knew a Moabite woman was going to be the father of mushiya so you know he wants to connect with her on some deep spiritual they don't paint him as an evil person that's the bottom line so he wanted this inclusivity of the world everybody is together but when you look at Shimon and Lavvy so that's where it goes if there's two sides of it so our sages say that why did this happen to Dina well when Jacob was going to meet Esau he hid Dina away so Esau wouldn't see her and want to marry her and they fault Jacob for that because perhaps if Jacob wasn't so exclusive hiding Dina from his brother and understood that if he married Dina she may be an influence on him that could bring him back oh so you're gonna hide him from your brother well then a foreign pagan idolaters going to rape her right and then once this did happen and then they joined the Jewish people and they did circumcise themselves then they wiped out 24,000 of them that seems like an unnecessary exclusivity also on the tribe of Shema Lavie perhaps perhaps they were supposed to join the point is that there's this there's this tension between inclusivity and exclusivity although also to rebbi akiva students they were exclusive in the sense that they didn't honor each other they weren't open to entertaining each other's ideas and they didn't treat each other with respect so that you know is on the other side so they're all sort of connected and and as Jews I think we struggle with this issue so much and when I think about what's going on in my mind still the peace now thing is going on in my mind because this war is not over you know hopefully it is maybe it is what do I know well it seems like there we should we have to brace ourselves and understand that more is coming well ultimately you know they put out tweets against us and then they put out this article and they came to scare us they came to curse us but at the end they said listen it's estate land then they were just kind of writing out their frustrations that the Jewish people are somehow able to settle this land and there's really no legal problems with it and anything like okay great so yeah it was really actually a spirit raiser and a confirmation that the drama that they talked about isn't even a drama there's really nothing there but go ahead well just to touch on that one point about how you know the the story of Shimon and lady starts really with the story of Shem and you know the conversation that they have with Jacob Jacob is saying why did you do this and you shouldn't do this and your anger got the best of you and it kind of goes back and forth and it's not really resolved because at the end Shimon and Levy say you know like what are we gonna let them treat our sister like a prostitute and that's sort of the end of the conversation there so I mean who wins that conversation there's no winner there's a last word yeah there's no last words it's like if anything it's like Shimon and Lady sort of get the upper hand that they end the conversation with them saying listen we did this out of righteous indignation there was an attack on the people of Israel on our family and we were defending our family's honor in the nation of Israel's honor and then we see them like generations later you know one way it could be interpreted that they were just a bunch of violent thugs or were they really zealous for God and for Israel and then it happens that Jacob says well I want you to know that because you acted out of you will be dispersed among the people of Israel and so what it gives you're dangerous when you're together and so what does that mean that they'll be dispersed amongst the people of Israel will we see now it kind of like this story unfolds later almost in a retroactive way the future then defines the past and says that Shimon it seems like is once again kind of just acting like a little bit of a thug he's just like fornicating and maybe you said that he has you're destined to be with a Moabite but right right and it's not justifying it it was like right in front of the oh hell no ed right in front of the tabernacle of meeting meaning it seems like pretty outrageous and then Lavy comes and once again in zealousness comes and deals with the issue but it's interesting to see that both of them receive the blessing of Jacob where she moans tribe is actually just swallowed into Judah and Lavy is dispersed among all of Israel and he doesn't have a Nahal I doesn't have an inheritance in the land because ultimately Hashem is his Nacala Hashem is his inheritance and so when someone makes an action huzzah on this parsha they say that you know life is defined as a loan that were given this life and what is a loan someone gives me a loan what is that if I give that money back five years from now then the man who gave me alone did a mitzvah and I did a mitzvah by giving the loan back if I don't give the money back then I when I took that money I was actually doing a sin it was an affair it was a hit it was so the future action defines the past in so - Shimon and Lavvy their conversation in their identity it was undefined he's like well are you thugs or are you zealous for God in generations later it seems as though their actions then were defined by their future the future almost determined what the past was and ultimately the words of Jacob came true not neither of them had a lot within the land of Israel but one's lot became the priesthood and to become Levites in the temple where one just simply became assimilated into Judah and so to our lives you know we're given alone and it's like Hashem gave us this gift called life and tehila was telling me this awesome yo she's constantly reading articles about science she loves science they've just now discovered under microscopes that when the sperm meets it impregnates the egg at the first time a small spark of light emanates from the encounter isn't that unbelievable you know and Kabbalistic writings they talk about how neat so CLO he the spark of light that is the soul and there's no explanation why it happens they don't understand why it happens but under the microscope you see when life first meets there's this little spark of light that happens and it's like unbelievable that we've just discovered this now in 2018 that there is some sort of light and vanishes like a sign of life that comes in is by this spark of light so life is alone and when that spark of light emanates it's like here I've been giving you a gift and the future of your life will determine the past and so like we may make mistakes and we may have walked alone and we may have had stronger faith or weaker faith but it's the future our actions today will determine the actions of our past that even if we had stumbled even if we had made mistakes the actions that we have now truly transformed whatever was in the pen why does it transform what happened in the past because only if we look at those mistakes and understand that they were also God's will then we can use them as a launching pad as a platform on which to stand that we can reach the truth in a much higher deeper way than we ever would have been able to without having made those mistakes and which is why I want to say you're talking about alone that this world is life as alone well Caleb Waller came over with his family the other night and had had dinner out here at the farm with us and and he said something when I told him about the Challenger phasing he said it reminds him of a uh a Jim Elliott quote I don't know how Gemelli it is but he said a man is no fool to give up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose and that really it resonated is true because yes you could theoretically lose this place that you're giving up your house for but the motivation the service of it is some you can never lose and that's what really matters and that's what I was talking about about Pincus sacrificing his nature for exactly that this inclusivity this exclusivity idea even Abraham our sages say the thing he struggled the most was with the idea of the breat meal of the circumcision because it then at first it was his mission to bring hashem to the whole world and everybody in all of mankind and now with this circumcision he's becoming a tribe and a nation and it's no longer the universalism that he thought it was and so there's this tension from all the way back then with the circumcision between the universal desire in the heart of every Jew and the tribalistic loneliness the individuality that is the Jewish nation where we're not the same as everyone else and that's exactly you know this piece now thing it's the same idea and the truth is that we need to be able to hold both at once we're a nation which makes us different and separate but we have a mission to bring us them to the world which ultimately will bring true peace to the world because when you bring our son to the world you understand we're all brothers so there are lines and there are boundaries and we have to be inclusive but principled in our inclusivity if zemurray was so sure that he was meant to be with Cosby that he should have married her in the proper way right to having a conversion and married her and done it within the guidelines of what Hashem has laid out before us the minute we start taking it and on our own and running with it to a degree where there's no principles there's no fear of Hashem and it's our own will and the way we think things need to be so so that's one of the that what do I think that the National character trait that we need to overcome is the need to always be loved and I think that's what will end the show with right now we always we feel like we need to have the world love us and because of that we err on the side of inclusivity even when it comes to sacrificing our own interests our own relationship with Hashem our own identity we need to first and foremost come together and love each other and love Hashem and keep his words and through that the light will come out and our love will overflow to the Asians of the world and Michelle will come please God may it be soon in our days Arya bramblett's you can reach out to me re at the Land of Israel calm Jeremy at the Land of Israel calm we always love to hear from you we had emails flooding in from our last show I have not had an opportunity to respond yet but please know we read them all and I plan on responding to them and I'm sure Jeremy does as well so thank you for being with us and a chunk it should keep all of you strong and guide your footsteps Elam solo and we believe in the vigil believe in the army and we hope they won't continue to make them fake but it doesn't stop our belief you have a tremendous privilege part of Israel coming back to itself this week on rejuvenation I speak with Tammy's over shine whose family was thrown out of their home in that setting in that terrible summer of 2005 where did they go are they still connected to Israeli society by Hashem we celebrate Yamaha Rhodes and my children serve in the Army very proudly join me for a person