Rechilus Q&A - Rabbi Zev Smith

[Music] eight five one eight six five one or email ist at yeshivanet.com we recently heard a very sensitive question where someone was told information and confidence not tell anybody and then he was basically asked to disclose that information whatever the context was but the question is when you know information and confidence that was told not to repeat and now does it heal us to disclose that is there any heter to disclose information that really should be confidential or i guess they're more common childhood someone asked you point blank what did he say about me i know he's talking about me i wonder what did he say about me or are you giving someone muslim and it comes out why are you giving him assad because someone told you that he did something wrong so by doing the mitzvah muslim you're saying basically that someone told me that you did something wrong so if you notice today sugiya is basically touching upon a sometimes unexplored sugiya and that's really the issa of rekhilus hashem we live people are learning and knowing horror but if you ask the average person tell me what exactly is the issue of achilles is it like rashnar is it different does it have to blossom is there a hater now what's interesting is that i'm devoted you will not find in the torah the terror used the term laissez so what exactly is the israelis when does it apply what are the parameters of it so that's our agenda for today and i think if we we clarify what requires will know when it applies and when it doesn't so as you know the makara of the israelis is the possibilities now right away you're a little surprised what that means rahul is a peddler what's the ped left to do with talking but it's even more unusual the next words are laissez there's not even a verb that connects the two but it sounds like it's one hamster like what is this so rashi has quite an arichis but he points out that a rocco is a peddler he takes items and he has the whatsapp hyphen so rashi says that's what he lost and while she used an interesting term you go to your friend's house you see what's doing and what you could pass on so basically a rochelle is a peddler who's giving over lashing her and rashi proves that in hof and gimmo are sometimes interchangeable so rachel is like ragil ragil is a spy like the miragulim so just like aragill goes to find out what's was bayern and of course he shares the information rockhill is someone that knows something finds out something and wants to share with others you know if you think about it that's really the big eight sahara of a rocket that's the the the corbin of morocco you know some people are very special important and they're well liked but some people don't have what to offer you know what they do they find out the latest schmutz pardon me and they go over do you know what i know and suddenly the world stops and everybody wants to hear what they have to say he's now possessing the most important information the latest narrative guide the latest mod the latest schmutz you know being a rockhill being about is a quick high you become the most important thing you know you go and you say oh you know what's going on you know the latest tumble unfortunately people have a yatara for this but that's really that that exposes the the lowliness of a raku he's a peddler of schmutz of lash and horror that's machiavella gimbal says that someone that's magala say this he has a lava system and people are very you know wow he's special he's important he's not he's a nobody but that's he's selling the schmutz but the rambam in his and even though there's no malcolus because there's a deburr over in godzilla the he causes many many ritsikas and then the rambam says something that seems to be cryptic and will soon explain you want to know what i'm talking about go learn the story of so the rama madqueen we have to learn the story i've learned the story the story of obery at the tragedy the chorus aleph and is bays do you got doing me the describes that that beer hirayum he was the raj besdon was the girly haddad and yet we learned the mishtan saif sanhedrin ended up being one of those hadiths that has no height how did a person go me eager rama beer i make the rice best so the story is told in shmool aleph was running away from show you know we don't understand these things but hashem wanted to kill david and david found refuge in this innova treated him wonderfully and because he didn't know that there was a this war going on between david and shaw doyek knew what was going on and doye wanted a curry favor by show like he cares for show and he told should you know what you know takahanam did they took care of your enemy so shall was was upset how could anybody do that and he called was clueless he had no idea he says i took care of the king's son the son-in-law aren't you happy and of course joel wasn't happy and before long shall had the whole city naive executed they took care of david he killed the whole city of kahanem the phosphate and the way that pasak describes it is is pathetic the kahanam hika the first [Applause] and shaal had this done because of doi eggs requires told the wrong the information which was true and as the post can point out thought he did nothing wrong he was proud of it but this this bit of information brought out a sinner a whole city of cloud israel that's the corbin of you tell someone information even if it was done was good but if he's going to if it's going to bring to mahrei sinner that's that's terrible and then the rambam spells out azural he takes information gives to someone else people are playing the lotion of the rambam he's marching islam no we saw that dive and erica hannah was marco vasila he speaks about this issa about the story of diego and he explains the foundation of the world is sholay and regilos shakes the foundation of the world he quotes the xiaomi that says that requires kills three parties and of course the other muscle is obvious the one that said terrible site and those that was set about naive but killed out says it's marv is sinner and brings a person to the worst avarice and that's the evil of vegelus so now we understand what the rambam means although it might seem innocent and this passing confirmation brings with her and that's why they say the simple shot is because if you're not careful like and if you look in the his kuni one of them saying them and he even says more than that in the rambam and he says why didn't the pastor put above so it's like two different points there's not two different points it's one point if you're not nizar and you're going to be end up with one if you'd say the wrong information it could bring the day with so this is really the assoid of regilous and if i'm ready to put a little more bluntly this is the difference in horror and requires lost in horror as the rambam describes is bieber hamazik it's bad words is not not necessarily bad words what did was the mitzvah he was proud of it but it's the outcome it's the tight soul it's words that might be nice to say something done nicely but it's macro vessel i'll give you a muscle and again people don't even realize how how damaging it is you could have people get married a few months later they say oh you know by the way when i asked information about you i asked your friend and he told me things i was shocked but i'm so happy i didn't listen to you i'm so happy i married you very nice what did you say that your friend told you bad information why don't you think before you talk you want to be the nice guy fine you married him thanks why do you say that so again it's something that's you know innocently said but without thinking that's the corbin of it of course we we don't need more than what the mystery says and and that's what does whether it's bad kavanaugh or good kavanaugh it brings me like and the embassy is we see too often what requires a wrong statement does i want to share with you one what i saw and to me this is one of the reasons i wanted to talk about this this happened a number of years ago but the corbin is still going on and this is a true story i'm going to speak leave out some of the details but it's mama's just awesome there was someone call him shay nayeed that his best friend was a big veer the kivir did everything for this shayna yi he supported him and his children it was mama's the prototype shabbos this guiller got involved with a certain project the hasta project and invested heavily and the the cheney thought he was he was spending wasting his time it wasn't a good idea so the shane he told the common friend of this and i don't know what he got himself into this is he's it's not going to work that was the extent of it the person that heard this without seiko went back to the the saying you know to give here you know even even your good friend says you know you're embarking uh in a a losing proposition and the gevir mom has lost himself he got mama's out of control my best friend i do so much of him that's what he does behind my back and this started what i described as lahashmin or i don't know which maybe both are true but this goes and it mamash destroyed both of them i don't want to get into details but both of them suffered obvious losses because they were in such a war i don't want to get into the details but this is now why did that common friend say that you know you you want to tell them that you oh you think he did something wrong tell him he said why did you say what someone else said but that's the corbin of vegeta's and i think the understanding the psychology of it is if you say something behind my back you betrayed me and you're my friend why are you talking you know it's like a stab in the back but whatever the case is this is human emotion if you say something about me and i hear about what you said it bothers me whether it's right or wrong it's not nigeria but i see this is an ongoing mahram actually it was two ilambas were destroyed and spells this has so this is basically the problem i'll give you another muscle you tell someone someone that you know i think you're wrong variable even pliny was surprised that you did that and you say the name not just plainly of course that's regardless you're saying that plainy told you that he's wrong so that causes a resentment and that's that's what he listens you tell her about simran i heard this story once uh someone told them about you know your good friend is such a mass myth i noticed he came to your hassan he showed his face he danced for half a minute and he ran out back to learn he's such a mass mid but balsamic was not impressed by that my best friend does that to me you know comes in comes out so why do people talk without thinking i don't know but that's the corbin of now which is which is worse i use that word worse which is better you know they're both horrible which is more horrible that's really the question so the embassy is the rambam and allah base that i've mentioned about mahaprabhu the yesh oven goggle means there and that's part of achilles and horror so the rambam clearly holds that require this is horrible but allah is more horrible is worse come derive it and he says no drama is not right because because we feel us is worse what's the mach like is i think it's plushie the truth is both have a negative quality that the other one doesn't have lost in horror the maesa is the maison maguna you're saying negative bad about someone that's los angeles but the saw of us is worse than lashing haram because last night you say something bad i'm all that does damage i'm all doesn't but the deeper is the avila the messina islam the rambam looked at the maester and the rival of the titsa the radhvas in the chuva in being the first two van gaal k he has a perhaps a more a different insight and he says the gemara says that roshan hara has no hand no to the one that says it so he says therefore that's why the rambam holds that the russian horror is worse because if you do something without hanoi that's a bigger corruption you did something without her no so therefore it's something no you have a no no no a person is weak in a weak moment but the rambam held that the fact that allah that's what makes you worse than than us because you have a benefit like you know do your he found favor in charles eyes he quotes this and he says maybe the forget the rival held that if you do an aveda and you you're doing something to gain you're doing the burn you're doing hypercharacter hashem for your own personal interest he quotes the posik in cahelos he says don't use an aveda to gain so in other words again it's which is a bigger corruption doing something with iran doing something to get her no but again it's a majoricus so we consider both of them terrible one more point i wanted to mention now i hope she would be very self-understood what's the source what's the maker of the isolation horror in other words where do you see the iss of washing her especially as we said and we'll see more barricades that they're too definitely sure so what's the macarthur island horror so the embassies the rambam already explained that the rambam says yesh avan godel admiral the rambam holds that lost in horror is included in laissez-lach the in with he puts them together he says including the iss of achilles the question is late to ram but like derive it that requires is worse than lashanhara she can't say that lashanahara is included in michaelis because regina is worse maybe lashinara is not too bad he's not so awesome so the embassy there is another mccormack foreign [Applause] but you just see what lesnar is all about persons who become dog food tyra says this but we see from this tomorrow that the israelites but the embassy says the rambam himself and sanhedrin mentions the iss of horror based on the prosecutor and that's why him in the in the psych when he mentioned he seems to imply that there are two makaires for the issa of lashanhara i will say two makaires for one issa why do you have to have two circuit one 1711 and 14 sin for lost so it's not akasha only two but it's much more but the advice that what we have now and now we can apply this for myself basically there are two terribly surim the which is worse but the fundamental is even if good talk i mean sometimes it's bad talk as well but it could even be good talk but it's something that causes macholicus imagine someone's making and he tells another yid who gathers is so nice he even volunteered to pay for the flowers and for the band and then the old khutan says really i made it with him he gave me such a run for my money so he said a nice thing he complimented the but why don't you think do you know for sure maybe he did it for you so it's innocent positive talk that causes that's the problem in rehearsals in aleppo when i say take he says even if you try to defend yourself you say you give someone muslims i didn't do anything wrong oh really do you tell them really pliny also said you're wrong so you're giving someone muslim and you're trying even to defend yourself but you're implying that's that plain he spoke about bad about this person and the says even if your kavanagh you did something good then you mean good but the mice don't cause much like this and it is excites a mishna and that's the play it's a mystery in sanhedrin the mystery says when the when the best in pascas who's right and wrong then when they walk out they shouldn't say that one day and say you know i really thought you were right but i was outvoted and the mishnah said you know how to say that either based on they say that or who's saying the ms he's saying listen i don't know i thought you're right but i was outvoted zaktiram and pierce missionaries because we have to have day on him that our hoove him ate so beneath him and if someone is told that the dying pascal against them he's going to have kindness now the truth is he shouldn't have tightness because we have to thank the deon for saying the truth but people are people and people sometimes are less than perfect and they can have a taino on the dying even though it's not justified but that causes magoikas but what's even more noteworthy the gemara a little later that ahmed says okay president paskin now they have to keep a record what should they write so the first review in other words uh as if everybody said he's that guy or sluggish said no no plenty of playing in bazakin and once that one died in said a third cheetah says it came out that plane is right three sheet is like what's going you have to say innocent why because if you're going to say but one said guilty like you're saying that one day and passing against him said but if you say that guy you're implying that they all said that guy and it's it's lacking emma's in order to say something that's messy shaker up so you have to say the truth so allah says why don't we do the best thing don't say who said what it came out zakai what is rebel as a shita you can satisfy both needs don't say who says beautiful look how careful you have to be not to give any shemets of a reason to have macholicus logic will dictate you're writing it down what's losing on who cares on this lady it's done deal no no no people are people how careful we have to be even though they aren't meant to allah but again people are less than perfect then quotes another makar again it's something that we learn about but if we don't realize the lesson the gemara says in sha'ab islam at gimbal said that the roman government whatever they do for their own benefits and that they do nothing for us and the morris says heard that and said it over so if you learned superficially you think uh was the master and ran to the roman government rashi says he told us talmidov you know there must be a russia shiva or he told his family though i understood it that one of the tanayam said the romans are good he said what do you mean that good they're not good you know he was not politically correct and huda began was proud my rebbe i'm simba and he said as it is and he told us to make them his family but he wasn't a master but he got back to the romans and he spent 13 years hiding in a cave and the end of course you'd have been garen the gamora says pardon me was reduced to a gaucho zombies didn't do anything wrong forget him he was proud of what that said but la maison that was regainless it got to the wrong party and it caused them trouble it was like it's between him and the romans now we always say this it's so sad when a bad person does something wrong but what's much more sad is when a good person does something bad by mistake that was a tragedy who did ben gayer the aids are like we always say like the puskas are mystery laid side [Music] this is sensitive information it might get back like didn't talk but there's another alternative don't talk without thinking the corbin is not talking the hormone is talking without thinking you want to say how nice the making is but tell the other you don't know how their relationship is you want to see how nice this massmut is but it might you know he might take it the wrong way this is the ate something before you talk and then you don't say the wrong things in in charge i indolid he says something very profound they're very practical he said the positive says that a person something is punished what he says even if he didn't mean it i know why how could he punish for not meaning it is going on i didn't mean saying bad so why is he punished you know the eye is punished because why do you say that why you why don't you think and i think the most incredible example of this we just learned in how long ago and beginning of parish of ayara if you learn pasha even superficially you notice there's something wrong sarah tells her but islam valdani zakin we can't have children my husband is old the next passage to banister tells avrom that sarah told me that she's old vanessa canty so the more above media pays alien rashi quotes it because they burst them realize how could he tell avram that sarah said and it was that would be a form of refills so the brainstorm caviar a hundred times was meshana from the ms changed what happened not to come to a shemets of bakilos because it might come to mahalakas now you think about it it's marvel orion the british them is cool they cool ms and that's their resort something lacking ms what's the kashash afrom will hear that my wife said i'm old and he'll be enraged from avinu first of all he was no younger manchuk not even nine chick he was a hundred there's no there was no youngster but more than that he told me that ram who was a kadaish eliot in chiang khomyou who didn't look at his wife for decades and how she looked until the afternoon he had to look one time what are the chances of him getting angry at his wife she said she's old but that that's a zaheer is in in in yakshi oven my my makeup and again maybe the hasbro is like we said my wife said that about me you know maybe who knows but if the birthstone was meshana kavajo how careful we have to be is another example in allah someone talks about tells pliny about a past day that almighty did to him just in in in conversation so he's reigniting him why are you doing that that's that's that's what he was ah he knows about it yeah but you know people you know they hear it it is even if the other person knows the lash and hara it's still awesome because that's talking because that's the gopher israel but in bear gimmel by austria he says if you tell someone something that happened which might be your fearless but but you know a thousand percent i i'm not certain this ever shy but you know a thousand percent that it won't be mario make like it's not awesome what's the question the isa is the sinner and is it causes and if this won't cause cinnamon like this then there's no reason to ask now again usually it brings out much like is a little bit more hectic tests proves that from the fact that when maestro being spoke about dustin van veeram you're looking tomorrow might cut into zion if that would might have been a a possible requires even though there's already a center between the two but my remorse is still awesome so it's always a goddaught that a little more sinner a little more like but i guess theoretically we could say this is an afghani that if there is no no shemets of mahleikis or sinner so still would be asa but not what's the chuva when someone never was nik so this is very very challenging because if a person had lost in haram and no damage was done says basically it may not make them you have to say but if a person did reject there was more cinnamon because he has to go and undo that how do you undo that that's a a very very good question if he told someone something and he got let run back and say first it will be moyokami i told you that's narus kaite i was marching in the cabo de don't tell anybody it shouldn't go beyond you so at least you stop the damage there but let's say he already told the other person now he has to work to undo the damage he has to become a mediator and bring out the problem and solve the problem so it's a lot easier trust me not to talk lashing horror or but if he did damage he has to undo the damage that's part of the the the in in in russia now it's noteworthy because in hilker's los angeles he says it's so the simple terrorists they say is that whenever they didn't have a riot he wrote epsilon and here he had no riot that requires mutter for russia but the embassy is that it's very mustafa that's talking about 100 maybe even more so because if the state of of this is causing sin and much like is if someone is taka teradika russia takert hashem senura he's supposed to hate messiah so if this attack is someone who qualifies to be a rush if i can't make that rift make that division it makes more sense it's more of a hetero the says this twice and horror obeys your days and also by us and aleph in nagoya and bear mama caught undoubtedly if someone held such a graceful maven quote unquote and he goes to herod russia just to share his venus just to share his you know narrative says he's over ongoing to the jurassic without even talking yet because here the terror says so this is going says that that that this is different than relation horror so obviously you know when a person has my venus let him use it in the right way but to go and hear about you know and again this is something unfortunately maybe it should be i mentioned more but it's not my place some people that's very yichas they know all the latest schmutz and they you know catch everybody oh do you know what's going on they captivate audiences around the world that's the lowest existence possible you're feeding people with lash and horror with us but that's the yes itself is awesome writes this clearly never asked no what did they say about me what they say about my diving for the ombud you know he thinks he's gonna get the greatest you know but you know he doesn't know that behind the back who knows if they're talking you're looking for trouble asking me what they say about me you know what's felt the voice a dangerous spot this was his exact lesson people go home they have to dive in and we're going with friends or with their spouse new how'd you like the rubs to russia you know that's which there you go what are you looking for trouble how you like the doppening but i i think there's nothing to do with rosh hashanah per se whenever you ask how do you like this or that or whatever it is you're inviting trouble gives another example of and gimmel gimmel he says you tell someone what they said about his father or his mother or his son now you're not telling me that about him but it's the same problem if i hear what they say about my son it gets me angry so tell me about my close relatives saying what he said about me a person who feels betrayed you talk about his family and zion outlet gives another example you tell someone boy i was watching today your son was fighting with the other other person's son boy your son got such a beating think what what are you doing what happens how says you know and we see this in in real life he goes back to that son and hits the other son and the son goes crying to his father and now like the belt says very correctly the boys are playing the next day they they don't care the fathers are fighting muhammad's mitzvah i say female the sons got into a little fight but they forget about it the fathers are you know they still fight years later you know you have to use seiko and test test another muscle in business someone was thinking of selling it to somebody and he even said a fine but you know you bring money we'll talk about it someone else came along with a lucrative offer and he gave it to the other person comes back the first major who was preempted and he said no i i take you i was going to do it i was insulting you but he paused me he pushed me begged me you know shift the blame now if it's true so it's still rehearsed and if it's your fault and you're shifting your blame it's damsheker but even if it's true the other person did wrong and forced you to sell it to him you're making a mach like is you're telling him that he grabbed the item another thing you tell see someone you know you go he advised me to contact you to help now if the other person's about and he's happy that people are sending him customers wonderful i said you know just like if i refer you to a new customer you're overjoyed no if i send you a cassette case a new customer you should be happy but people are sometimes people and as the gemara says in eric and zayn sometimes if you say how good someone is and people hear that and run to him and they they they they wear him out that might be like the plastic says because game clothes of so sometimes again in the ideal world if you send someone uh to dr k success case he should be overjoyed ah i have more business in this world another but some people they look at it why did he say i i did him a favor why is he spreading to someone else so and that that's taco you know i heard the story someone once he has to give here for money and he gave a hundred dollars she says but you gave my friend 500. a blatant rehearsal imagine what to give here things i gave the uh the first missile of 500 dallas so not only he's not nice to me he sends someone after and tells him what i gave him you know personally maybe the mushroom was collecting without a commission he doesn't make any money i'm downloading us and he needs the money for someone else but how do you do that you know the giver is betrayed and and the the first missile is betrayed and everybody's unhappy but after [Applause] simple cases but a person doesn't think i'll give you another case and again i i don't like to use the word ruvain and shipment of lady because people forget who ruben and shimon are leaving i'll be very clear misappere the one that's saying told macabel what the victim did to him the macabre so that's what he was right sappa told the kaaba what the victim did the now the macabre is all angry but he heard and he goes back to victim why'd you say that why'd you do that to me why do you say that to me dr khafiz khayyim in kimball bays that's a double rehearsal when the misappa told mercable what the victim said that's regardless you're inciting the victim against the macabre now the merkabah goes back to victim why'd you say that how do you know that because masapa said it so that's double requires double your money right double avella people don't think so even if you don't say i heard you said they said this about me had you here there's only one person that knows you'll have to spell it out uh you know rock a if it's obvious who told you that's regenus another example a mother tells a child please do this and punk today the child did it the father comes home and he says who did this who did this and the boy says mommy told me to do it so in the bass lake that's one of the first on the page every day i raised my zion seafood zion he says if a child does that he's even keep it off because the father will get angry at the mother sarah palms kind of a terrible american ambassador is the question it's only a keeper of isn't that rakeelas you're saying mommy so you do it to fabian so i'm saying sure now the question is what should the son do so if he's a good son he'll say i'm sorry i did it i thought you appreciate it and father gets angry no he'll take the blame if the mother is considerate you'll say no don't hit him i did it don't hit me either but you know i is my idea but here we come to an unbelievable issue and and this is a share for itself but the end of horror based on the gemara mabel dicker marvel insight that if someone did not do something and they think he did it it's his fault he shouldn't say uh i didn't do it he did it that's wrong and even if he said i didn't do it and it's obvious who did it maybe it's also wrong because obviously did it and the gamora and quotes this all it might be could die to take the blame i did it i'm sorry but not to implicate someone else even though you didn't do it you talk about tanoyan that did this iron chamber tim so that's a different sugar but basically it's not simply well i didn't do it it's his fault that's awesome and that's this concept of akilos someone asks you he shows you that his new purchase what do you say to my bargain and you're surprised bargain got a bargain regular price maybe yeah overpriced maybe maybe the suit doesn't fit well so times the person impulse you say what he ripped you off go back them and say i want to return the item wait a second and this is an intestinal gimbal he's cutting gimmel if he it's not a done deal he was just allowed to show to someone or even if it was a deal but it's taka or i know there was some dishonest dealings you have a right to say listen it's not it's not not a good fit it's not a good sale it's a good price but if is a mecca kayam it's not a i know he could have done better elsewhere but it's it is no way allowed to reverse the mahira by telling this person what do you get this is not a bargain i'm surprised that the one that sold it that is not just that starts a chain of events that he's going to first get angry at then he goes back to the mighty and throws in i'm not taking this keep the item and then i'm tearing up the check whatever he'll do and before you look before long he turns out doing a whole group of availas all because of this person's thoughtless response now what do you do you do like base pillow cells if someone bought something and he can't return it say but you understand like when phil explains if he chose this suit and he likes this suit is a nice name you don't have to like it but if he chose it and he bought it and he paid that price so now for him is good but to incite the person is basically an effort of utility that only brings our various a person sitting by a hasuna and someone said a russian horror problem about uh planing can he go back to planey and say you know i just heard a whole sheikhali about you someone said virabham about what you did wrong so of course that's requires but i must mention but this is really a different shape but i have to mention at least what about the hata apitlasa the person is at la shanhara like i said with ada so could i go and say yes you know by the way someone's bashmut singh he said about the ten people bad about you so that sounds like a bit lost but when you learn the suggya which is is and was a by itself the hetapita is a very limited hester and you in base gimmel would be you say something that perhaps could be interpreted two ways and he said about bethlehem so then you could say he meant good but if late last night said him that doesn't justify saying the person that talking about you even though that sounds like a pleasure but that's not the suggestion or as the kim said when someone's that's about to feel that someone's stealing so that's that's realistic but basically to if you heard something that's not a hector to go and spread that vita that would be us and that's not the general head of apitlos it's a better idea to go to the speaker and says why are you talking and worse yet but let people know that there's zero tolerance to los angeles a question where it comes up in many forms so take it to your your particular needs could be in a yeshiva a moist a business a family setting there's a question what to do should we expel the talmud should we hire another worker should the family the treatments for the father what should they do many many different child you have to have a vote and if there's a vote and then a person wants to say you know i i really was against everybody else and no one listened to me and he wants to tell the affected party the muscle there was a question should they take a boy into yeshiva and he was very forced to take him into shiva but the might said he was outvoted so the mechanic that wanted to take the boy cannot say you know i don't know why they didn't take your son i i voted did you take him that's mama shower mister sanhedrin you know in the business should we hire this worker i said they said i know i didn't hire you all these things are a basic violation of a mishna in fact i'll get back to you and he looks into it and he and he tells the child i thought that that the food was kosher but another rough told me it's straight so i'm listening to that rove that also might be this mishna you're blaming you're shifting the blame to another person now if the other person doesn't care you know the rubs are straightforward fine with me but if it caused a resentment to that rob that was quote bing mahmer that's our mission someone asked you point blank what did he say about me and you don't want to tell him what he said about you about him what do you do so to say i don't want to talk plead the fifth so that makes it worse you don't want to say oh see ya so i know so here if you can't you know squeeze out of it any other way you do what the bernstein did and what the gemara says in two places and yavamis and brahmacia pay zion the more you promised even more than than babasita i mentioned earlier either mutter or mitzvah to a person has to get up and say he said nothing bad about you we're talking about something totally different and say it with a convincing tone of voice there's another lie but in this case that's emis the person was teaching us that ms and sheka is subjective when yaakov had to lie kavyakov when he had to lie that was the biggest endless and that's why yaakov was the muslim emma's he knew when defining moment was the arcade what was that this yakov when he had to lie ramana emis ramana whatever the case is so attack is traumatic for you to lie it's mama's a a traumatic situation but he has to do it so to get out of that situation he has to do it if need be have to lie and but points out it's so wrong to ask someone what did he say about me and the krabs and and hey hey how many availables come out of this question let's see if somebody asks you did the boss give you a raise because i didn't get a raise and you got a raise what do you do so if you say something like this uh why should i get a raise and he'll go for that so then you avoided lying but if that is not going to go you say i didn't get a raise and remember that's ms in this situation because the other choice is and now we can say i think the most challenging of today is the following masapa told you you're the macabre that victim did something wrong and he wants you to give victim muslim which you you could do it because you're friendly with victim but the only way you know about this avila is because of masapa so when when you makable gives vic the muslim he said i can't believe it masapa told you because otherwise you would know so everybody means hashem shamayim 100 percent but it comes out of us that masapa told macabre something about victim in other words is there a hatred of us like there is by los angeles if somebody asks you about the shidduch and you know some negative information you let us say it and like we explained many times is a misnomer it's not lush and horror with taylor's is that lush maybe this also but the ambus is the bikrillak because lost in horror the gopher is is ibrahim and if it's it's the bahamatsu so it's not the gopher issa but refillas is not bad talk for character it's it's it's important talk but the issue the much like it comes out of it so let's let's analyze our case the mikabha wants to give musa the victim a big mitzvah but he's also causing his being victim so who said that is justified by doing the mitzvah and might be a stickler lead and this is also a mitsubishi in bear my intestine cotton has the following shadow which unfortunately is common someone asks you or you're hiring information and you must tell them last night there's no shell about it but you know he's not a very discreet person and you're gonna tell them the negative information it's gonna get right back to the person that you said about the negative information in other words you're gonna give justifiable information but it ends up being rehearsed you're now going to give that information it's going to get back and make him and make her heroes so you see that there is no hete of wichitas but that's not a riot because there you have to give information the fact that it gets back to someone else has no bearing on your information but here the only way to do it is if you tell someone to give someone muslim so it's a plea i did not find in any of the earlier poison even i didn't find kamat but i found the i mean which is he says how is it is the the isa is very bad unless your cavani is the the toy for the ellis so the is talking primarily about requires and he throws in this macaro of tayalas could be the svara is in a certain sense that the truth is every lash in harlot ellis causes tsar an agua snappish he's not hired for the job the shelf doesn't work out the turret says if that's the way it has to be that's the way it has to be you have to do yours there's always a collateral damage so to speak so why don't we say also if you're giving over information that's to make mahwaikis that's requires even without kavanagh if your kavanagh is 100 and the machine is unavoidable you have to do yours what comes out that's collateral damage and the emphasis i found what i think is a pretty chlororaya the famous story might caught in zion where rap simon the son of rebbe was learning about kappar and they came to an impasse at svera sugya my father he could he knows it all by kapoor says no one knows this like rebbe is not going to help here and as rashi says next time shimmer made his father rebbe he said like with vitumai well baccapara said you couldn't figure this one out and dimar says that uh rabbi hadik paid them and tucker he told he told bhaktapur how unhappy he was so why did simon go and tell his father what bob kapoor said so that's not a constitutional she says he just it was wasn't out to be misappa for rebbe to act on that he turns back about what'd you say the third since he wanted to give back upon muslim and he felt that it was necessary he was allowed to tell him even though it ended up reflecting back on rav simmons so i think that's a pretty good riot i the macho comes out so either hopefully you'll try to tell them listen the other person told me but he mentioned don't get angry or you know try to work it out but this seems to be the embassy so it applies to a few cases we have this child as someone noticed that his next-door neighbor's babysitter was not doing the job she was on the phone on the porch the kids were inside and there were a few children could he tell the mother that the babysitters are not doing her job so the embassy the best thing would be tell the mother come home and catch her in the act so this you know there's nobody snitching or the mother should say you know people are talking that yeah they're outside on the porch but even if lameisa by saying someone you know someone told me and it's clear that it was the neighbor i saw absolute almonds sake it's mutton because this would be refrigerated someone asked me there's someone that told him you know i'm so upset plain he didn't invite me to wiscasset so he said oh really okay then you know don't worry you know usually always complain why people invite me to the house they want me to go have no time why are you angry but the guy's no i'm insulted he'd invite me could he go back to planey and tell him what's going on so this is tricky because if he tells pliny that the other fellows is fuming why you didn't invite him so that's what he lost right but then again i told listen the way it is now with mahway kis anyhow so tell the balsimha call up this planey and say plainly i to get your return card so guys what do you mean how do you get your invitation really well are you coming or not now i that's great was that that's sneaky but the mocking challenge if shecker is with this okay neighbors asses also so if you could get out of it without making uh you know home you know godzilla that would be perfectly mutual someone is mistreating his spouse or his boss can you go straight them and say listen i hear what's going on it's not right so that is lethal how do you hear if not from the spouse or from the from the worker so again if you can mention in a way that you know people are talking you know when people hear that they get very nervous people are talking wow but basically if you 100 certain you're talking about if you're telling someone he's doing wrong to his worker he should pay more you have to make sure you're right but if you're understand certain there's an avla going on the best thing would be to say you know people are talking because people get very you know frightened by that and he'll respond accordingly don't mention who you heard it from slip an anonymous note into his television you know what you're doing is not right but if need be le mans le mans or ms if there's an album going on you have to do what you have to do if he'll react negatively that's his problem somebody asked who broke my item who used my item and you know who did it so we have a samada to make sure that he pays for the broken item but you have to tell them i know who broke your item that's richielus go to the mazda and say if you don't take care of this within 24 hours i'm going to tell you you did it or if you stop if you don't stop using his item i'll tell him who did it let him take care of it and he'll send the check in on him like cash whatever it is but if a little bit cycle you could do it right someone needs musa again tell them in this way tell them that you should know that people are talking what you're doing and it won't be clear where it's coming from but certainly is when you know something in confidence can you give it over when there's a tree ellis so the embassy is this is a basic you said of yiddish kite you know huma davdalarama days conjugate the public opinion that you allowed to say everything you know it's unless the person says you could tell all the people then you'll not say anything because we are people not not nistanba mahitfort you don't say things unless they were told that you could tell over but even worse is when a person discloses confidential information to keep aside this is something that one of the kiyomaya islam is keeping scientists that were told in confidence if somebody if the diamond said it's possible if someone told them in confidence and somebody asks you i want to know that secret it's important to me do you know the truth about the yes or no a lot of saying no i don't know the truth he don't bother you because you know that i'm godless side but at the end of the day if there's a real talent that can't be achieved in any other way but someone told you he has problems he wants to do a better vera he has emotional issues and there's no way anybody will find out that has to find out only if you're magala side so the pi skin would say if there's no other choice you'll already magalizoid because you're looking to going in michelle on that position the going spells that claim how much rock of chavez you know some very confidential some very you know important information if there's no other way of avoiding it there would be a hatter in this case of the ellis i couldn't talk to you [Music] for the wonderful i've i said the scheduled little schedule of this year in the next four weeks is on the bhima and we have everyday shurim and we have to ship the schedules at the back of his medicine you want to sponsor shay please call igan shaytara at 718-851-8655 man [Music] hey [Music]