Mistreating A Fellow Jew - A Halachic Perspective Rabbi Yakov Zev Smith

[Music] oh [Music] 851-8651 someone wants to assign an again you must return the swarm after use if you don't put back his farm and you make the gaba do it your ivan of leicester so the truth is that's there are enough reasons to put back swarm but this was a little more intimidating or even alive but the person said this is ridiculous the apostle i said right before he's talking about an avid what does that have to do with agave swarm recently i heard a different child about leicester dubai unfortunately because of the situation of kovid many people were unable to do their regular work so their employers wanted them to do different work la marshall arabi wasn't able to teach in the beginning so the angola wanted him to do some fundraising make some phone calls and there was a question is that la sierra before now this is an interesting suggest because many people never heard of this lovely before and yet after we learned this properly which is always the right thing to do we'll see not only smack of the suggest but how important is to learn hummus it involves three or maybe four psukim in the torah and hopefully we'll have to say this maya that all fits in like a beautiful puzzle i'm going to say if i see them right if there's a mitzvah that's a mace mitzvah that's neglected you should talk about it i think this is worse than a mace mitzvah because no one even knows it's a mitzvah after the neglected and i've been aware of it so let's learn the sugiya property we learned a few succumbing and then hopefully we'll have the information to apply at la maison we find in parishes [Music] don't work with your aved avoid us of it and that's very strange if i bought him and i paid good money for it why can i work with it and have benefit so the embassy that snaps out in the word avoid us of it doctor taurus rashi quotes it avoid the shall gonai the issue is don't demean don't humiliate the evid shia nicobar i'll give a better muscle today if you're going to the midfield don't let make him carry your soap and towel and your brush he shouldn't carry your stuff to the base america's olive he shouldn't have to put on your shoes this basement there's kahanim perexian oyste bays in other words maybe a lot of work with him of course you have to he has to work but don't humiliate him and of course putting on someone else's shoes or carrying a mikvah bag is considered a good night the this is the lav minator where did rashi get the muscle of putting on shoes that's not interesting so you might probably familiar in subas left side and conducive days in two different contexts the gemara says that spitz avdus is when someone puts on your shoes that shows he's an evid well soon see that's an indication that he's an avid so rashi assumed that that would be included in avoidance of it so would you rather work with him but not humiliate him there's a beautiful shin member he says what stack of shots is to make everett carry your mikveh bag or put on your shoes so he says a beautiful insight this is teaching us that a yid is different than a guy there's an evid canary you want to do what you want but a yid is different and if you treat an evid because you realize that this is a fellow yidd i guess you'll treat other eating properly also even an evident cause going to eat then he says don't forget the world is the gal gula and maybe khalil tomorrow you'll be the evid so you better be nice today and then he says something it's a training in meetus because ansarius is so terrible and how about treating my spouse and treating my neighbor even in heaven every i have to treat with silk gloves but be that as it may let me be very clear this is a lav man a torah to treat your effort like an avid they say if it's the rambam the smog all the money amidst this count is as one of the tariak mitzvahs someone that makes his evidence carry his stuff to the mikvah he's the [Music] what your cavon is so maybe you can't give malcos but this is pasik lamites you can't work they never avoid us evid but we're not yet finished a few succumb later pasik we're very familiar with we have it in mitzrayim we speak about it on pesach back breaking work like the masuda's tai chi's in la medaille avoid the khashoggis um [Applause] you're paying for the evidence and there's nothing you know it's a slow time there's nothing for them to do so you tell me i would say so the girls worked for me cook me up a cup of water but you really don't really need it that's also awesome or rashi is the second muscle also based on taurus ghanaian adoration acha away i want you to start working start hoeing until i tell you to stop what's wrong with that why is that avoided so the rambam explains because that's an avoidable you tell them to work for an hour two three so he has certain you know feelings when it's going to end but tell him to work indefinitely that is emotionally straining you know if you give i give him a muscle it works super stuff something that's endless is worse than me you know a person has to suffer he knows there's an end to it but there are too east theorem and how to treat inevitably it's possible you gotta make him work hard you're paying for that but the first issa is bizarre and the second is is the emotional pain of making him work either for no reason or to work endlessly the rivet says i have a different shot you tell them to work until i come back and then you take your time coming back but it's the same idea you're dealing with the with a yid and don't do more than necessary whether it's the ganai or the emotional pain but look at the end of this posik via resecha so rashi again quoting the teres kehanim you'll say you know i don't really mean so bad dr bernstein i know what you mean by it's almost like the verse is saying you think you're starting up with him you're starting up with me i'm the goddess i'm gonna watch his covet you're playing with fire you know we don't find this by every lab but here you're dealing with another yi they're both saying you're starting up with me they raised them this reminds what i heard from a good friend of mine probably he told me this 40 years ago but i still they left their ocean he was learning in panama at the time and there was a lot of problems from the arabs terrorist bombings and attacks it was terrible so if shah got up and spoken upon it she heard it and shaq was very emotional he was very frightened to say what he wanted to say but he said there's a ramban in paris we just learned it the other week preceded these words by saying you have to be our unban to say this did something wrong by torturing hugger the gamba vram abram should have protested he was also wrong but hashem al-anya the nusselt benji apparently every tear and every drop of blood and every shed of tearing sheds of tears they eaten i've been crying for diaries because of arabs is because sarai mistreated hagar and lin yaneu it's unbelievable hogga was a shiva with her possessions but look how revenge them is careful even with an avid kanani and have i don't have every and how about another yid who's not in evidence that's a little introduction into this sugiya treat another yid even an avid kosuke in a israel the his kuni one of the restraining points out why you have to have tupsuckin test mem gimmel because it's over in their mother because it's very common we could add it's two different two different problems one is the genai and one is the emotional distress okay i must mention the array and one of the ballet traces in simon kufzar big test he has a different shot and avoid despair any job be done by day or a day job being done at night which we're also familiar with the more insight that's my bae says that was part of their fiendish plan to break eden give them opposite works so that's also available you know i learned to suggest i was thinking so maybe taka avoid us hard work is motto that's what an evidence for as i looked in the restaurant him i found two ishainam the miriam kadusan khabeis of the days and the rajbaman this passage they attacked they avoided this parachute but the other is showing him seem to learn that maybe that's not so bad you know what's worse mistreating emotionally or without respect but be that as it may this is the iss of laisser dubai toulaven the message is for us it's not being adam levitt it's training and treating people this reminds me of what i once pointed out i made a husband there was 16th place in the torah where the torah speaks about how we get us to treat an animal a half doll what is this the aspca 16 times to tell you about animals so if you look in the register and in tough mem says it's not it's not respect for the animals it's training us in meet us you have to treat an animal with respect or avoid torturing an animal oyster has been oi you thought over the animal's feelings calls gain you'll treat another eat properly so i think regarding animals and regarding of them is one of the same it's a a lesson it's a therapy and treating people with respect this reminds me another rambam the rambam the end of adam says the sky's the limit you can do what you want but then the rambam goes on to say how you typically twitter never kanani if you look at the rambam you would say i wish people treat their wives the way you supposed to treat and ever ken honey such respect talk to them nicely and and you know listen to them that makes us act differently way beyond the letter of the law and we have we have tyra amidst this and we try to emulate the brainstorms ways you know something called taiva satora that's a person to live with because tyra is back in him thursday s diana just washed the floor and buckle walks on the wet floor and looks like says like what are you doing he said it's a guy i says but you're eat you have a type of satire that's what his rambam is saying and that's what the kingdom that's what the whole torah is really teaching us you're a yi you have to satire so if it's if we see it by behemoths and by an avid and even have a konami and how about one spouse and one's neighbor alive we would we take this message to heart but this is all laisseird before regarding inevitably now the question that we're waiting for is very nice evan every what does that have to do with me and the guy by swarm if i might leave my safe on the table he's not an evid why did i sit by before her and the embassy is the tourist kahanam and zion base dover akha they seared the boy before boy ain't nothing about this evid i will even work with him the way you want hurry a lot of mistreatment the rambam and per gallop spells it out when is there an issa by an avid but by a regular person you're allowed to do what you want so it seemed like the rambam that with the worker you can make him do whatever you want so you could tell the worker to do this or that and you could leave the swarm on the table the gabi swarm is is no issue not an evident you're okay so we have early dismissal today is the you know treatment of of of ganai or or emotional distress that's awesome but with another yi there's no issa it doesn't make sense and maybe it's a cava crime even by inevitable skin by eat but i could say iboy you say macro because here we come to the third piece of this puzzle the third possible threeps took him later the same parachute with he's yours forever then deposit says okay it's forever then the next words israel this is regularly the choir this is the third time we have this lava is before one's avid perfect now second i'm a pair the question is what is this plastic talking about israel this passage is talking about a nasi a president and a melech that's interesting rashi has no makar for this yes where she get it from but rashid was rashi and rashford especially it is one of the residents don't forget nasi that has an evidence so push it why isn't it any other way what's from the positive name [Applause] the rashi is learning that this pasta in pasik memvab the third pasik is talking about it's not an evident a regular yid with a regular worker is allowed the rise of mistreating him by sierra de bay before in other words possibly tested avoid us ever is awesome demeaning work possible is talking above is talking about me and you you have a worker or a guy be smarter or whatever it is and we're making him work or agave swarm do something he doesn't want to do he's not inevitably but he's still possibly involved of working him without respect and the embassies as we'll see this is not just that some say this is quoted by ghidorah happy skin guideline in many many places and i'll give you an earliest source which lahore when you learn it you'll appreciate it more but it's about fairishing more i listen to an interesting tomorrow it's a very interesting story i must admit the gemara says involvement see i ain't given my days rather had a brother rafael you find him in in my cotton also and he did something very interesting have he talked of in she delay miley he took some people will give them a nice term they were far from perfect you know ancient and um rava his brother was there the god ladder and obviously he wanted to show respect to his brother so he took his chariot instead of attaching horses to pull rubber he took these uh beneably isle and they became the human horses to schlep his brother rover so that attracted some attention you know what's going on here so rob was up to kimura defended his brother don't worry my brother knows what he's doing if you see a person that's not acting properly stop it boy how do you know you're allowed to work with him unless you have a nice gabba swarm or a nice worker maybe you could also do what you want no time of life i didn't make up this game but see i ain't given my base i mean the whole story with robert's brother but the way the gemara learns zocto me iria on that gemara a dove an iphone there are two different thoughts you do everett kanani there's a word in between and then we've then we find pine israel and the kumar is learning something unusual the word goes both ways if you have an inchi deloitte miley you could treat like an evid kanani or halakhas are suspended a regular yid lysir de by before you ever see a word that goes both ways but wait you haven't seen anything yet the guayan quote in the paneer beniha [Music] doesn't mean two reasons means two trucks there's a pasta and then a map usually it's faker the pasta and a map why two traps and why in a different order so the guy in kedarka he says this is the nafloy salvatore the word pashta usually goes backwards has a pastor that tells you that word goes back back to back to elementary but then ma you know you know map women goes forward and just reason if you ever remember if you have an old tape recorder forward is always the way the map looks going that way so the word goes pasta the other way and map back that way so this is a gemara but you know comes out from this gemara that there's a lavana torah based on pasik memvav the third passage to mistreat another yid there's a hatter by inchi de la mali and that's why as we'll see many rashinums say that the two zukim are talking about everett kanani but positive member is going on another yid and some seifer will soon see in the context in kuf bhaktas and the gillian and archaim he quotes the mughan avram that says no issa by a regular yid and he goes sorry from the gemara in different points and now you'll understand a a a often quoted beneath in shari chuva if he can't refuse because effectively you're forcing him to do it and even if it's a claim the kite katana the muscle warming up water that's here in other words nothing to do with an effort if you ask someone and he could say no so he decides say yes it's fine but this person can't say no you're overlays here the way you know it's muslim which passage does even cite as a source for the iss of asking another yid who's not an avid to do something for you look at him any item he calls pasik member israel because that's where you learn the piracy properly the first two sigma talked about in evidence the last one of the earlier earlier in page 290 is the goddamn the ariser he calls it to ask someone to do something if you can't say no you know someone's talking about another him you he doesn't think no for an answer i'm not proud of that person that person might be over they say to me before and even if he officially agrees it's awesome because he's not really agreeing with toy play the orchestra is also a reason it says an issuer a person that's feared should not ask favors from people because he's forced him to do it and he says you're looking to see them says quoting that if someone oppresses ager one of the three lambda murray says israel by the before nothing to do with an avid and interesting if you want a little numbness in the beginning there were two from their own than ever kanani and one of them freed him david now he's so on the day that he's working for you the master you can't work with us ah he's another canadian for you but since part of him is the ben khairim zapped excise your either on the issa of like the baby fire yes you are if he does it mirrored saying i it's okay but if he has he can't say no he won't then your evil is so here we have the suga in all his beauty there are two lava regarding an avid and there's one la regarding a regular yeet you know if you want to see more the haze in a letter and base pay test somebody asked me to do something and he didn't want to do it so he says you should know for me it's harder than anything to say no to people but what you ask me is making is making me say no but i'm have to say yes because i don't want to say no and you're going to be either by before and he said so we have a very good case based on agamora the big question is i the tourist kahanam and the rambam says there's no issa look again at the rambam and you'll see there's not a construct the rambam says there's an island ivory but not by a regular yid sinai is he wrote about but he has a pierced message and they both said the same thing the random is saying of course with a regular yid who could say no and says yes so he means yes you're fine but some of you that he can't say no so really he's like an evid that can't say no so if you'd ask will you mind doing me the favor and he's shaking like a leaf he can't say no that's the issa leita beniyana of the third boy before apostate member so here you have the sugya and again you know you think about it people like say they get upset i'm not your slave or like you're not my boss that's that's the nakuda of the islam you know he gives you you ask someone for a favor he can't say no so you're forcing him that's laisser dubai that's the radia i am lording over you like you say in english so this is the sugiya and again it all fits in beautifully let's apply it so first i want to mention asking asking a child to do something do this or else that's name is this love i is a cotton so the cotton he can't make kenyan but cotton yesterday voices and there's no doubt about it asking a cotton if he doesn't want to do it you're even this love now iu says yes so that reveals him anyone if he doesn't have a choice of saying no then it is yes not a yes and the embassy is if you learn khai shimish but you see this but elephant base we find the fundamental difference between seven israeli because if you force me to sell it and i sold i'm getting money at least but forced me to give you a gift even if i officially said yes it's still gazelle that's where being the yarn is your side well that's the reshowing certainly before if you're not giving him a choice because he can't say no you know what it's like the rambam no kashuvah per dal it says there are some things people don't do true because they don't really they don't have a room and it gives a muscle i get i'll give emotion an hour terms you know when you're in yeshiva and your friend buys a day and it's just give me a piece of your danish he doesn't want to give it you know it's building his ice as it is but you can't say no you give him part of the danish ram that's a sudden aspect it's labyla and it's gazella even though he said yes and he gave it to you because he couldn't say no who could do chuva and i said yes but the yes is meaningless this is a form understanding of a third baby you don't give him a choice even though you are giving him a choice you know some say that's really the iss of saying which is quoted by the kids because really sometimes people give gifts they don't want to give gifts so then it's taking something that the person doesn't want to really give and that is of gazelle but this is the havana of laisserdo it's a myself i mean it's very nice and you know you're not and he's not in heaven and you're not ordering but you really are you're asking him forcing him what he doesn't want to do i'll give you another example sometimes you go away you hire a babysitter usually it's not a very old girl i'll be home at 10. you call her up i'm sorry i'm late i'll be home at 11. unless she's really really masking so how could you do that even if you're paying her the extra hour but she wants to be on the 10. not at 11. you know you're giving her a choice i'll be home okay i hope it's okay first of all don't say that eska and also if she says no is no you know the stipela has a letter in crying a base race sam hey it's incredible you see the goddess of this diaper he seems he hired a printer to do his work to print this form and then ah that's the helper very harsh person volunteered to do the work for free so he said the truth is i would save a lot of money and i have a big ola panosa with my with this printer but i asked him if he's michael and says well if you tell me so he said i realize now he's not really makable i've shot him and i don't be alive on my sh because he can't say no to me he's talking about big money he says i have big advice and efforts you know he says but i can't do what's wrong so he paid the money instead of taking the worker for free and you think about staples but that's an er you know a person has a worker and he's a please throw in this job wasn't me throwing this job throwing you throw an extra hundred dollars i'll throw in this job no no just throwing the job but he's embarrassed to start handling you know you got to be careful that might be beside the misfit that's what i said by before you know someone asked me so if somebody asked me for a favor i don't want to do it maybe if i do it i'm over on the evolution i said you know you might be right if he's over you're either so what's the ata do it believe sean but the one that's asking should not ask islam shall we another point i think is worth the whole shift at this point in a letter in gimbal cuffline medal in the guerras he writes a person should think twice or maybe think three times before he makes requests you ask your wife you ask your parents he asks your in-laws you ask the neighbor he asked you something and he says we we think there's nothing wrong with asking what's wrong with asking but then he writes a very uncharacteristic question if someone asks constantly for favors he's a signer the songly he's a hater and hated very idol what's wrong with asking for requests so the truth is we think what's wrong talk with ask him something the manuscript if he says yes it's not good if he says no it's no but i'll tell you think about it you're doing wrong why if he says yes and he doesn't really mean it allah turns it baby pharah if he says no you know what really happens he says no and you're deep down upset why do you say no to me i thought he's my friend he's thinking how could he have a chutzpah asked me for that that's so unreasonable where's his menstrual kite there you see the sun and the sun all in one so if you lose now what i mean you can ask for a favor you could but two prerequisites first of all think before you ask is is it really the right thing this could i live without it but more importantly give the person a way out don't say please do this to me that means you're telling him in a nice way say you listen i have something if you can't do it i understand perfectly i really understand but maybe you could help me at least leave my way out but does not mention this lie but this is really the sight of this love you're not giving away out he can't say no and you think about it that's the mark of godless by us i never asked for favors from eden we find the same thing smule haramasi and shmuel allah paraguay base pasta gimmel and in marseilles shimsha nageeba when he was in real he needed big scrussim he said islam i i i led kaiser for 20 years i never once asked anybody for even to carry my stick for me now promised to say he never let us do anything for him he said elaine is reign now of course you know we all know the gemara and said you should let your talmud be ashamed as you but you're better off alain is reign don't you know people like to you know ask for favors and you know it's a vacation another question that we began with you have a worker let's say they're in covert and there was no teaching could you ask the rebbe to make fun to do some fundraising so this is a big heist but so you should know but as far as albus it also has a relevance that says that if you make up with the worker that you want to do that he'll do whatever you want him to do that's part of the contract you even what the what the terrorist condom says the boy does perak but if you make up with him he can you can even ask to tie your shoes as i state in this law something we're going to have wrong i don't know why does he have to come on to that why don't they have it tonight today we don't have an advert every there's on the list of lacerdam so without a tonight you could ask the worker to carry you to put your shoes on for you in other words the motherboard is saying there's no issues and that's not mr apparently the mogan of ram went with the pastors that it's tully and aved and so ever today but the but the some safe is reminding us there's a suggestion there's a possibility that's an issa even by and on of it and that's why again the mother rum is makel maybe like underground is michael but as we saw the gemara we shine him poison hindi poison we saw that we have to be hoisted very much that is still a lava lay seared by a regular eat and that's why la mesa just because you hired a worker and you don't want to you know waste money so you make them do something else it has to conform with ilkas paella a work that's below his dignity is awesome that's why besides but he's not going to work anything you know to say them a tough self-raising i invalid rights how you supposed to treat a worker don't be mature more than you have to and don't ask them what they don't want to do the oyster that i mentioned earlier in page 288 289-90 he writes his father's they never asked for a favor he would say instead ruth would you like to never ask directly that's a heroes in this life the point is that a person that is not giving someone a choice is basically forcing him and that's what the issue is here this i saw a silent one of the kadmain and one of the earliest very brunner in the two of us members someone sent his massages to go shopping for him and she refused said i don't want to go on the street called food basmal so mary bernie said she's right you can't force the massages to go on the streets she works in the house not on the street and he says it's it's a there's apostate in the torah he quotes it that's the king we could all look it up in person we spot when the possibility say ticket says but today they go out all the time anyhow so what's wrong he says well if she doesn't go out and she's conforming with sneers via darth design and she's living kokuda you can't force her just because people do it doesn't mean it's right and he writes even today you can't send the secretary shopping that's a violation of sneeze if it's her level again of course if if she goes after everything else but for you then maybe there's no head to the fuse but if she doesn't go out for herself then that's a breach of this islam my sister there was someone a very prominent person not russia but prominent a lot of money he made a simcha and he have total disarray so i don't know who it was the president told the the building manager you clean up that's wrong building management to keep the manageability not to become the waiter or waiters or a host crew so that would be leicester but now if in the in the contract is you have to do whatever i tell you to do so and the person signs and accepts that no that's his contract but otherwise this is an isolation a common question is can i tell my child or my grandchild to help me i'm worried about that can i tell my talmud so this is abhifera shigemaru which kimura baphomet see iron gimbal amid we saw earlier that fascinating gemara that you allowed to deal with an inchi de la immigrant avoid us that's a gemara now what exactly means in other words people that are basically we call the otd of the dara so the gemara is saying you'll have to take him and make him a human horse now what's the husband it's very positive if he's running the streets he's gonna end up making more and more trouble anybody knows dealing with these people get them to work physically get them to depend or get all their energy in working so the price can explain it's not because he's not a men she's easy to eat but it's latiallas shaloi instead of running the streets be an expression of covered attire and you're gonna need a lot of energy that's what they're good with and they'll this is an example of leicester little s you know we have lush harold tayalas and i got a one star bahana nikaitsara is has a whole list of things that are mutually ellis my muscle now i'd hit another yid but there's a mitzvah to hit your child at least before america was discovered right so i'm going to add to the channel's list there's another tl and that is here device but the yemen says you find this maneuver in the franco mafta on our rambam he quotes safe i don't have base scale they say let's you have a worker that there's no work to do so you can't give him another job just to keep him busy but let's say you're doing it because you're afraid that by him sitting around you end up getting into trouble glad to make him work just for no reason and his mom is now let's go a step further in the in paris on the pastic to work within every every the mcguilty aids you can't work within every every avoidance aved right with your sono tamarismoto and the ms we see this there's a gemara exuberance an incredible gemara of sadiq it's get past and you're their rage members your tests and i say this yeshiva quite often to remind the voice where they're holding that you're allowed to make your talmud do avoid us avid kanani and put on your shoes call me which means kanani oyster rabbi tamar isola robin it's my michigan [Applause] [Music] because really he's not giving he's getting he's getting more than he's giving he's going to keep it up close rabbi claude damocam it's all the same so if hayem is learning that the hetero of tamida is based on bhava matsiya latte ls but i want to make a point also and that is that it's not a unlimited hectare because if you look in the helicopter in bhavamita and give a little days he says yes a parent a rebbe could make the child do avoid us emotional abuse and you learn and mamas it's a lot of workers than ever avoid us in our workers and ever about this evidence but with the hete is what you need you never knew he needs to tie in his shoes he's very old but stamp abusing a child there's no head there so it has to go of course both ways respect for parents and respect for children not cabers like it says in the uh the new uh version of cause there's a difference but it's quite hard so you know also says enraged men children it's a very delicate balance but what a parent needs you need it and loved after parents probably grandparents also because it although it's less of a limit and keep it up but it's enough of a mitzvah i mean don't forget the mahabharata says arabian at talbot can even do avoid us ever kanani even putting on shoes so of course everybody has to work to making things work there has to be a relationship between parents and children but the point is that parents have the right to ask children to do things for them now the child said i can't do it i really don't want to do it i said it's alright that's perfect nothing doing there's no such heter now again also parents have to understand that the child is a human being also you know my first honorary once told me someone can't have time and he was like abusing his child goes but it's minor because it's not true he says if you're walking in the street and your dog does damage you have to pay but you walk in the street and your child does damage your putter you know why dang hunt is diner your dog is yours your child is not yours you know you have to hear both sides of the story to make things work but here regarding our sugiya this is the concept there's a hetero tls and it's a hetero of says but with a with a spouse with a wife there's no hector it's only a parent with a child his muscle is very strange to me he says if the husband wants the wife to do extra cleaning and pay stuff that she doesn't want to do and she's afraid to say no so he's the husband's evil i see the baby fire the way i know people it's usually if i care the wife makes the husband do the unnecessary cleaning so either way you do it but what he says is there's no head the husband and wife because in our soup subway wrote the f mean not i'm gonna make homework i'm going to work right but this is what he says is only had the son and parent not spouse one to the other grand it's a little tempting when you have family you know to exert oneself you know i saw an adventif why did tara allow the whole concept of an evid konami why do you have to have a guy in our house with his tremendous understanding of human emotion he says because people have a tendency they have to be a boss and they have to you know show that they're you know calling the shots so the bursting gave it an outlet take another canary and do what you want but today we don't have any kananes and we take out our frustration of being divorced on our wife children and friends now that's really mama's always together that's because that's the the danger of it you could ask him to do something you force him to do it but there's no heta unless of course benoit the tamida and even that has to be done properly of course someone has a border in his house he has a relative staying by him so you like to treat it like family but that's not yet family you have to be more careful with a outsider even if it's a niece or a relative is a special had to buy you a banana vital medium there is a hetero mockery mitzvah what does that mean can i approach it and say you must give me money let's say you have a show needs a center and someone's walking by well you must come make a minion the other but he can't you're forcing him he feels guilty he comes is there a special hector the maki mitzvah so one thing i'll tell you whenever you're doing a potential issa make sure it's really you know if sternberg and the two was out of topic of mem quotes the briskerov that was very nissan never they asked anybody for anything because rebellion is concerned of before so if you have a mitzvah you got to make sure it's amidst them but one thing what i think came out is that if it's a mitzvah that the other person is to do so you're helping him do his mitzvah muscle someone's not learning come come to this here come to the ship come on you gotta learn so even if you're the mortgage here if you're not doing it for your own coverage you're doing it for him he's behaved to learn you know that's a question for him he's gaining what he's have to do is not giving enough to dhaka you're allowed to force them to give the minimum amount but it also says to force the person to give more than he wants to give based on him above is awesome so the point seems to be the philip mitzvah if us he has to do that's okay mitsuki um you know if he doesn't do it he's not over is he much to be at center he has to go to work you want to make a minion so get a minion wait for another person to come so you have to be you know a little intellectually honest with yourself is it to do it am i doing him a favor or do myself a favor to push agave to give more because you want more he's giving his amount of isa you want to give it to you instead of someone else that is not included in the hector of dvar mitzvah another interesting shiloh somebody he was a from up usually froome and crum is pretty similar he says if a teacher or rebbe gives a homework or an assignment their idealization for me it's mahmoud and i'm afraid to do it with them i'm over on the naiva so i told him you know use your lumbars in better ways this is this is treyeles and even if you're getting a punishment assignment so you have an acer instead of with naiva don't misbehave and don't get an assignment but even if it's right 100 times over i will not misbehave so i would tell the reviewer better give an assignment that's more constructive you know write a stick will tell you about the importance of me this but you know we don't tell everybody what to do they're on the front lines and they don't they shouldn't we shouldn't be we shouldn't be telling what to do but avadha there's no issa on homework and simons the question we began with regarding svarim and i saw in verax since he says in the time that there are no kamehamehas hung up a sign in the haziness if you don't put back your safer and the gabby has to do it on the lav the rise of the bible what i saw recently goes back to this someone put up a sign the same sign and of course there was a tomo but you could tell me you want until you learned the sugiya now we see we have a gemaran bhava mitsiya we have a many of china rashi many many poiskin that this is a perfect example because by leaving a save on the table the gaba is forced to do what he doesn't want to do now someone said but the gabe gets paid so first of all so why are you wasting yeshiva money put it back yourself also i'm not sure he's excited about putting that while you're smart and the third man in many places it's a volunteer and yeshiva there's a rotation so besides the other obelisk and there are plenty of other avalanches you know the stylist meeting rosario it's a violation of the end of mcgill if someone is you lose the mitzvah the baron says using a safe not putting it back and i want to say the rest of it so there are plenty reasons to put back swarm but the main reason is you'll learn tara you have to lift besides the amani mini surim of swarm i think the besiren says in the summit you put back to islam your mouth where it belongs so you have to do things right wanted to speak never spoke so he said no he asked him again again though then he said that i don't think i'm evil i see the before i ask you to speak back and he asked is a beautiful people that like to speak what makes it even more smack when they say no and you force them you push them was a speaker so he didn't mind but it was a pain so it's like you know it's like about filler you want to down for the ahmed and he says no if you say okay i'll get someone else he'll fall apart so basically if the fellow wants to speak push him if he doesn't want to speak don't push him and the khazris was the wrong person to push to speak you know they once story is told they once said just just say three words and hazarish was horrified says just three words you know if i tell anisha harey kudasas even without the lead according to many of us showing him she's mukadeshas ganz hilkis kadushin ganz hilf is garrison ganza's ish with three words and you say just three words so the kazanish was not a speaker obviously so for him attacker was a steered by before granted if someone doesn't want to be a bounce filler don't push him to be beautiful the same thing someone wants to have an easy shabbos he calls someone the last minute would you like to have a seven guests for shabbos friday morning a big candidate or the other by before if a parent doesn't feel well and talk at the last moment they they feel they can't stay home so call the child that's what children are for and hopefully hope they'll do it believe charlie but stamp just to throw around the parent card or crested card be very very careful it's hard to mention all the questions but i think one point i do want to mention and that is this is basically seiko in his harvard foreign we deal with people in shul at work family children grandchildren spouses so much of the hat is when we think before we ask for things and i must mention the importance of you know our children don't hear enough amid this machlal but whoever hears about this here thereby before thinking about asking you know treating a worker with respect you know i don't my house i like the word worker a friend this friend you know try to train them to to see the cell will come in every person a worker a driver it's all friends why do i say this because someone came out with me the other day and i'm thankful to him he said i see i guess he saw the sign talking about this is some i want to tell you a story or two he says the other day i was in a shoe store it was a young child and there was an old man working trying to sell him a shoe and the young child he probably is in a single digits he tells the the old man tie my shoes to me she said i'll tell you a different story but yash was 102 years old and never couldn't put on his shoes for himself and it bothered him that his ain't got to put on a shoeshin so what he did is at least he picked up his foot to do something so here you have a prince in single digits and you have a 102 year old godlike dark that lived here but wait he didn't finish i have another story he says this but the dehydrated tells me he was in his shoe and he sat down to daven a young child comes over says get out of my seat my mother cavua so he said fine you know he's here with the board the vice supporter he says okay i'm not going to start up with this the rob saw this and was horrified him i shall such a such an avalanche he goes over to the father and he says i'm sorry to tell you but yes your son told this get out of my seat welcome kavua safar says he's right is it malcolm kavoor so he says you know why this happened i'll tell you another story he said that a boy met a girl and the boy was talking very you know impolite and very disrespectful and it bothered the girl so much he told the father and the father was so hurt he called the rosh yeshiva he says you know what boyfriend yeshiva met my daughter he spoke like this so rasheed was it's my fault she goes why is it your fault he says he can't be less weak he says he has to go out on the he never did this before what does he do so i thought i told him just talk with the girl where your father talks to your mother this is the thing that some people give at home but to me the taiva maruba if we give our children how to treat another yid had a treat a worker had a treat a driver with respect it will you know some things are not taught they're caught that's the thing that we need i'm going to talk to you all oh yeah you know is [Music] foreign [Music]