Living Life With Zest - Rabbi Yakov Bender

Shame would like to welcome everyone who came in person and everyone who's joining on the phone and thousands of people joining the live stream and the telephone worldwide to Mr. Mrs. Elli Goldbound for sponsoring tonight's shar Winkler and Winkler for sponsoring tonight to the Blue and Samilies for the support tonight. is sponsoring calling at 7188518651 or email.com. Tonight we have the cover with us once again for to speak on living life with zest. It's my cover to call on Shiva for tonight's version. [Music] Thank you very much. I wanted to say you Rabbi Bald's father is probably listening. No, it was very bold. Rabbsy Bald was from the early early Tamid in America that dedicated their lives to teaching. I think my father walked in. You know where my shame is? Minion factories. He's right there. Minion factories in America is I got I got a D. No, I can't talk about people now. But all right. Bald my father's um wasabsy. You're here because of my father in a way. My sister knew your mother. You know the story. My sister was best friends with your mother. My father was the man. Your father was the rebi over there. And they put together the shik said. So, it's nice to be here. What do you call it? The zest for life. Living with a zest for life. Correct. It's good. Okay. I'm going off of a tangent anyways right away. So, it's okay. Um, people think living life and enjoying life, it doesn't go together with with yishkite. The only way you enjoy life is if you have a good time. How do you have a good time? How does a person have really a good time? You think good times means going to a ball game, having a beer. Long time ago, there was a certain day camp that I know that they um when the first time that in Sha Stadium, Shay Stadium was the old New York Mets ballpark. Um Gears of Yankas. So Sha Stadium had for the first one in New York City, they made a kosher hot dog stand was a galdi. A galdi is a kosher hot dog stand. And there's excitement and at certain day camp went they went to the game. When they came back from the game, I met one of the kids who went to the game. So I said to the kid, "No, how was it?" He says, "Wonderful. I had a such a hot dog at the game. It was so wonderful." I said, "What's your question? I heard from somebody else. How long did you wait online for the hot dog?" He said, he looks at me, he saw already, you know, almost he's in trouble already. Said 45 minutes he wait for the hot dog. Now I said, "Why did you go to the game?" I says, "You went to watch the game. You paid whatever that was $30, $40 a ticket, $20 a ticket, and you ate online. I said, "Tell me, how did the hot dog taste?" He said, "Rebby, the truth was raw." So, you stood online 45 minutes, eat a raw hot dog. It wasn't like, you know, and you couldn't even watch the game, but I ate a hot dog. I ate a hot dog. And he's a he was a kid. He couldn't have a beer, but imagine if he was to have a beer also. And you could sit there in Chase Stadium with a beer in one hand and hot dog in the other hand. That's a good time when you eat a hot dog and you eat two hot dogs and you throw up. What do you have out of it? So we associate a zest for life is to taste aloha. I'm waiting for next year he hashem when there's going to be for sure pes those who have to go away have to go away but I'm waiting in mitem one day it's going to be claw 100%. In Cairo there's going to be a hotel in mashem in Cairo. and we go back to Egypt after to to enjoy this djoying life and a zest for life does not means that you can have a zest for life and realize how lucky we are to how lucky we are to be if we live life nothing bothers you tonight is the of my brother my brother was sadik maybe more than I'm going to tap up how a person could take a zest for life and turn into turn into the kool I used to joke with him and tell him all the time we were one we're one year apart in age. He was born on and I was born the year before a year a year apart in age. I used to say how's it and you and I came out of the same mother's womb. It's not look at you look at me. I used to say I used to keep it around. But you know what? He had a zest for life being kind. There's a in this week's para is paras the great is and then they got to travel to and paras 38 years of the 40 years in the midbra disappear when we go into they've only been in midbra two years all of these terrible stories say in the next 38 years yeah we had a lot of stories in he had of And then suddenly you have and they're going into is 123 years old is going to be right then and they're going into wants to take them in in one day three now after 40 years in the mid going into and 38 years disappear and they want to take a shortcut through Ed says no way in the world you're not going through so they have to go back and seven or eight backwards and they got very nervous and they our fathers did the same thing. We had to go backwards. You're doing the same thing to us. You're doing the same thing to us. We're going backwards again. So two things happened. One was that the was and the second thing happened that they have to go backwards because Adam is not letting them go through the shortcut. They offered money to pay for the water to pay for everything garnish. Nothing is going to happen. And the neph became katsar the opposite of zest for life. They became katsar. In yiddish you say schmull ang tight they couldn't handle it. So rashi says what's katar. Rashi looks for whe it's got one of those long rashies that people like to skip a lot of dict works in there. I want to stop for a minute and go backwards. In par in the very beginning beginning par it says over there that was sent by the end of is very difficult because he goes to par and par says who are you what are you doing you don't belong here go away he made it harder for he told from now on we're not giving you the straw anymore that are very very difficult and finally goes in thisuite Shortness of breath. Shortness of breath to me is when I run up five flights of stairs. I'm short of breath. I can't handle it. So what should come first? So I once asked this to ah it's kasha. No such thing in the every word is measured. Every word is very clear. It should be really first aid. First you climb up the flight of stairs and then comes the shortness of breath. Why is first says shorter breath? But I want to take a rash in this week's para and compare it. Now I want to say is the following very very when you are down on yourself when you are in spirit when you're down when you don't have the zest of life that every is I was speaking to a younger man who was very depressed going through a hard time parasa he told me that I'm so depressed and demoralized my wife asked me last night to take out the trash I couldn't do it was too hard a job for taking out the garbage. We all do it. I hope the husbands are sitting here. Ladies are upstairs. I hope you all do it and don't let your wives do it right. My job the way he my wife left be garbage. I took it outside and I can't just little horse. Thank you. So I'll be right. Thank you. I appreciate it. This is the he comes every week. How many years he coming here? It's unbelievable. How many years you doing this already? Huh? I know. How many years you doing it already? 20 something years. He comes on time every time. Really? Terrific. If it's true what I b say that thousands of people are watching it's like a very okay so means when you're down have a rash this week's para what's rashi says any hard thing that falls on a person he can't handle it uses the word his mind becomes very tight and his heart gets fle He can't handle it. That's means that he can't handle it. It's too much work for him. That's became their mind closed up and their heart closed up. When that happens, he can't do anything. That's what happened over here. They got to go back with seven stops. Uh-oh. Eight stops maybe. He says there's no breath. B R E A DTH. He has no breath. B R A D to think. That's when you don't have a zest for life in the Yahadus way. Everything is you can't keep up. There's a fellow in that asked me for a raise recently. I fine. I don't mind giving raises. I hope we don't pay anybody. You don't have money. We should pay more and more and more. Well, you can't. What could you do? I told him, but you have a problem. I told him you're never going to be happy no matter what raising you get because you want more and more and yishka is the only thing that satisfies you. You could be happy. You could be really freed. And I think that's what the is teaching us. If you do my brother, it's not I once the in Stanford, he was always impeccably dressed like this perfect was one day the Baham are outside to see him fixing a flat tire. Said, "Rabbi, what are you doing with flat tire?" He said, "The fellow asked me to help him fix it." So he's not going to go ask somebody else to fix the flat tire. He fixed the flat tire. He didn't they stopped him of course didn't let him fix the flat tire but everything was sweet and he was the happiest person in the world. He had has two handicapped children of his seven kids. Two of them are quite handicapped and years ago who has a child with downs. Everybody knows Benitz and he makes a shabas every year for the parents of the down of the allowing downs of development the late kids and he said please join us on one condition he shied away he shied away always from I don't have to speak it's fine of course he spoke they made him so crazy the whole shabas he spoke and he spoke so well that they asked him to say it over again shabas so they could video the whole Russian he must speak but he said the one thing he said I don't know how can I speak because He says that people have issues with kids. He says what do you mean issues? He says wasn't smart enough to know when you have a child neighbor who can't walk or can't think it's not an issue. He says gave me these two kids that's an issue. He was always he and his wife always made name always. How's the sh when you have when you realize that you have to be a mime and a wonderful Jew there's no issues there no issues in life there's no there's nothing you just it's a freedom the mench one day at 6:30 they were origally it's called Stamford today even though they're in my 37 years like Roosevelt also was in Roosevelt it's in my Roosevelt still so because when they were still in Stanford about 30 years ago maybe a little less than 30 years ago Someone walks into the yeshiva. Shiva had some Hebrew names on the outside. It's called yeshiva base. Somebody walks into the yeshiva and is in the hallway. I should call him reb. We call him we played Monopoly together. He was a normal kid. We played Monopoly in checkers. There was no electronic games in those days. So we were had a chance of becoming normal. You know, we played Monopoly together. Not too long. At time 8, nine years old, he wasn't ready to play with me anymore. He had to go do more important things with his life. So he walks in this fellow and he says, "I see Hebrew Hebrew words here." He says, he says, "I have a problem." He says, "My car broke down. I need a tow truck." Problem was, was Shaba 6:30 in the afternoon. So what do you do? So M takes his hand like this. Oh, I'm so sorry for you. He says, "But probably that means you're thirsty. It was a summer day like this time of the year. You're hungry. probably come. I'll take you into the kitchen. I'll give you something to drink. I'll give you something to eat. He says, "Sure, why not?" He takes him into the kitchen. He gives him my he gives him food and drinks. This 6:30 becomes 7:00. He says, "All right, now you know what you do me. We keep Shabas here. You know what Shabas is?" He knew something not much. God was born. The fellow didn't know too much. We keep Shabas over here. Can I ask you for a favor, please? Wait two hours. M himself didn't make Abdullah till 12:30 one o'clock at night. Why are you gonna make Abdullah for? Bakim needed him. He talked to them till middle of the night. So he made Abdullah later. You have to have a wife. It's a day for that. Of course. So why don't you? So he says and he took a bach and he told the baka this the minute this man comes you get this guy a tow truck right away. He tells the this person would you mind waiting these two hours? He says fine. Did he sat down to learn with him? They learned for an hour. Then they went in to get it to sh and as soon as it was the man they got him a tow truck he went on his happy way. Next week he's back in the yes is yeshiva. Where is bender? I want to learn with him. Within three months he was a total and complete baluva. He tasted yahadus. He tasted yahadus. Let me tell you remember that a greatki story. I'm tell you two of them now off my brother for a minute. hear what it means zest for life but it means living a life and when speaking to someone very close to me very very close to me and I can say who we're sort of now he comes from a total fa background so I I I tell me something richy how did you become from I know your background it's not a from background how'd you become from so I'll tell you how in the 1960s maybe more you remember that I said the hippies beads and chains So I was wearing my beads, my my my my my my my torn jeans, what I was wearing. I lived across the street from Philadelphia and another young man like he says to me, you know, there's a big holiday today in the school. Let's go in there. He said, fine. One thing he knew, we got to put on yamla. That's all he knew. He takes the yamla from somewhere puts it on this fellow Richie and he goes into the yeshiva and it's the bakma dancing. So they went into the back of the B medish. This is a story in the late 60s when 6063 Drexler road. He goes into the back of the of the yeshiva and they stand there and they watch. A bak came over to him and the baka says to him, "Sir, would you like to hold the Torah?" Me? I'm allowed to hold the Torah. Me? Yeah, you. The Torah belongs. This bak till today doesn't know who he is. When this buck goes to the say to him, you know what you did? Here what he did. He says to him, "Yeah, the Torah belongs to you also. The Torah belongs to you." "Here, hold the Torah." And he danced with him 15 minutes. Richie went back home and said, "I tasted something." Richie turned his entire family from he has wonderful grandchildren. He has only the best. He tasted from someone. This baka had a zest, a zest for life, a zest for Tyra. I called the next day comes we need him. I says Rabbi I said I didn't know Philadelphia. I told him I said I always thought Philadelphia just sit and learn no kov. He starts laughing of course. He says what are you talking about? I said I'll tell you the story. He had to give all the gond a sits and learns but he has his zest for life took he took over there a person and gave him like ameck of what it means to be an hot dog and the beer won't do it I want to go now I told about four years ago the story four and a half years ago two years later two years ago I went to Chicago just before co after whatever the town I went to side of the kaducian after the after the is over. Okay. After the is over I came down and the grandfather of the bak from before your name his name is name is mishka. Isn't that an interesting story now? I just ordered a story you know who he is in bas that's his name. There are two mishamez in the world but kids he says to me he doesn't mind his name. He says you know I when were you in the fidelfi yeshiva I just written one of my sperm that I write in English right and I like to write the introductions what I went through I wrote about myself that I was learning fidelf yeshiva my father was suddenly nifer I had to come back to the york he says were you there maybe in November 65 I said bingo exactly I was there four weeks so you're the yakov he says to me you're the yakov I'm not the hero a minute you're the yakov I that you know I went to public school as a child. I was 16 years old. Somebody brought us I I had a little tradition in my family. He abyssal tradition I had in my family. Abyssal the kids I think we went to camp one summer for a week or so. He says and when we came to the yeshiva someone took us to visit. He came. This is going back 1965. You hear? 1965 November 65 and Rashool shook hands and he said maybe you would like to have a partner to learn with you this said to this fellow said sure why not once a week he'll come and learn yeah and he gave me a boy Yakov to learn with me and Jacob learned me three weeks and disappeared but he read my introductions he figured it out I wasn't the hero was the hero we all that's commonly done today with public school kids. When I left Philadelphia gave me another year later sent university and a year later and he has a embassy and he has embish I called him again. I said again you're doing k I said to him look what you did a baka that was bender bender was a holy Jew bender didn't have his hands below his waist like this walked around walked around like this yet I got my brother told me last night he got a phone call yesterday people last person Mr. a few minutes ago the was ending tomorrow. So people are calling. So Hashi Zupnik is a friend of my brother because I want to tell everybody we talked how he washed him so he kept his hands clean. His was tremendous. I want to tell you something. I was his roommate Mish I found out last night. Bend his granddaughter got married last night. So we of course we sat in the side room. We couldn't be in the itself and we were talking with each other. My sister and my brother you know. Yeah we're talking. What are you talking about? Of course. I was sitting there. So Shawn tells me, my brother tells me he does this night. It's a good night that uncle. He tells me actually something called him up. He says, you know, he watched me. I want to tell you something. I was his roommate for 6 months. He came in later than us after learning. We had to wash his hands for keshma. I used to watch him. He dropped a drop of water straight to keshma cuz if he'll wake somebody else and he puts on the sink, uh-uh. Don't wake somebody else put on the sink. That's mid. That's mid. You can't. Yeah, you're gonna hear all kinds of about him. And there are I'll tell you I won't pay attention because the is not he was an who every mitzvah was a to him. One time one time I said one time there was an ad in the last 10 or so years. I used to wonder who's putting in the ad. It says over there when you get a delivery from the supermarket from the grocery store make sure you check all your groceries that they're all pes. You got to be careful. I found out I had a shiva. One of Mel's kids told me Menda paid for the why because one year about 11 or 12 years ago 11 12 years ago the grocery store delivered delivered the groceries to them. M sees stick of fish. You know the packages of fish. They made a mistake in the grocery store. He became a sugar for himself. He said, "Oh, he's so he was so mad on what he took into his mouth. I almost ate comments. What does the Aisha want from me?" "Oh, maybe." And he paid for an air every year till this year through this year. Be careful. He lived his life because he was a giver and he loved to help people. There's a ram say I don't know if people don't speak at this Raman. You know there's two places where it might be different but the Ramban is the same Raman screaming out they want meat was upset because he spoke like I mean I can get much meat as I want but says don't worry about it he says gather for me 70 people from Israel and they'll help you out in other words he's saying this the butchers 70s of kana what are they going to do how are they going to bring meat what's the sh to meat so if they're manained these were they absorbed the blows in par when they took away the straw and they made it hard for them the shait they took the clap they love to help people bring them in was in the midbar they're having a hard time bring them in the word he is the word to calm them down. Calm them down. He calm down. They're not going to bring meat. Not their job is to bring butchers. Their job is not beat. You know what their job is? Calm them down. That was my brother 100%. I go to a breakfast last Sunday. Now in Abut a week from this past Sunday I was the guest speaker I'm sitting there a girl two two older girls came over to me say the names now came over to me and said we had this of sitting with the a week before your brother was na so what happened this happened what happened I have a nephew maybe I'll get to nephew later on or not we'll His name is Pinas Caro, young man who lives in Lakewood. And you know, we need so we spoke to Pinaro, get us an appointment. He said, I'll get you an appointment with M Bender. And me and my friend, they're both sitting together over there by this breakfast. We said, we'll go. So Piscaro called my brother. M said, I can't do it today. I'm sorry. I'm I'm I don't have time. I don't know about you, when I don't do something, I ask you for appointment. I don't call him back. Why don't you call me again? A week and a half later, my brother calls go, I couldn't do it that day back. I can still do it. He called him back. He never met them in his life. He said, we sat with him 1 hour and 45 minutes and he spoke to us like a week before week and a half like nothing concerned him. He the whole time was sitting with them talking to them two older girls. They told me we're different people. We felt like we were sitting with the for an hour and 45 minutes. I jump out of my skin. You know, people can't sit that long. And he sat and he talked to them and talked to them and talked to them until today. So, it'll go on much longer than that. People calm down to calm them down. That's our job to listen. Do we listen to our wives? Rabbi say clapping upstairs. Do we listen to our wives when we come home after a long day and we had a rotten day at work and your wife wants to talk to you and you bring your phone to the table and you sit with your phone. We found out what our wives do. You know when we found out co she said there's co embarrassing story about yank bender that's an embarrassing story. So the first few months of co the she was closed I prepared my in the kitchen I kept my swam there. My wife was cooking the other side of the kitchen. And I was praying my she wasn't over there at my swarm. I'm sitting there and she's making jabs for who? For me. We considered a kingdom already. We couldn't go anywhere. We have to be home. Pes that year the kids couldn't come and she's preparing and she's the middle of cutting up the soup. This is three years ago two and a half years ago. So we're married 50 years many more right I said to I call him minnows minnows and watches. Do you do this every week? She started laughing. My wife, I never laughed so hard in my life. She says, "This is we're married 48 years." I asked her, "You do this every week." I never home. I I took it back. I'm sorry. I apologize. I fell on all four. We found out and we come home from work at night. All the wives want we should listen to them. Bak was sitting here. Okay. It's all right. One day you listen to your wife, Mr. All they want is let's talk it out. I know what it's like when you're home once in a while. You got to be home at night. You got to diaper in the morning after them and cook and bake and laundry. We couldn't do those things. Come on, forget about it. One time I was taking care of my kids. My wife had to go somewhere at night. David one was they were 864 and2 862 and you're home. The kids are home and my wife gave didn't trust me. Of course, my wife she gave me a long list of things I got to take care of. Put this one in bed at this time to bed. This one got to eat this. You know, take kids get you don't make one meal for everybody. You make different meals for everybody. And you give a I couldn't get me to bed. No way in the world. I'm the big macho guy. I'm running yeshiva, right? I couldn't. Finally, I said, "Guys, if you don't get into bed, I'm telling mommy on you." They ran into bed so fast. I said, "Yank, you're not embarrassed." I said it to myself, "Our wives day and night, we can't give them a little time at night. You light today wonderful. I seem like I hear you light give a lot of time to it's wonderful. That's the way it should be. They want to hear talk to them. Bend his expertise. He had time. Nothing stopped him. Friday night a guy comes to the yeshiva. Strange bird dementia. Very big guy. He wasn't a white person. Came into in Stanford. They never barely had a minion on the offshes. He lived there because of he lived there. He lived there but he his kids had no really no friends. This guy comes in on Friday night and he and and he walks in. He put on one of these tales from Friday night with in all kinds of colors, gold, green, blue, yellow, whatever. And he sat there. So they went over to him. They said to him nicely, the very a people there, who were you waiting for somebody? He says, "Yeah, Rabbi Ben to speak to him after the D." He was a 10th kind of minion that night. After was over spoke to him for two hours. Two hours on Friday night. If I come home, you come two hours late Friday night. not so but he has a wife. She's aim is a sister's a sister. You know there there's no day. There's nothing. The kids were kids knew they eat on their own. The kids ate on their own. He came up two hours talking to the guy. The guy needs me to talk to him. No problem. You know happened. You know incredible. He loved life. He loved he loved he loved Tyra. You know how he slept every night? He sat by the table. He didn't sit with his back to the chair like this. Rabbi say he sat at the end of the chair all night long and he learned if he didn't sleep enough to see the table. He go into bed for two hours. His kids told me when we were young the first 15 years if anybody needed a bottle or something middle of the night. What goes on? You wake up a mother. You wake up a father. Right? We never had to wake anybody up. We went into the dining room. My father was sitting and learning over there. This was him. How did the happen? My mother sham who really I think my mother never ever you should know this those would think you have to give a patch. My mother never ever ever gave us a petula. My mother raised it. My father was nifa. Never maybe I look better if she gave me a patch. My mother never ever gave us a petula. Nothing. She would say yank uncle I'm disappointed in you. She said it nine times a day. She yank uncle I'm disappointed in you. That's it. Never. We didn't know what fighting was in the house. We didn't know when I tell this to my kids it can't be tati. how it came out because M he was the king there's no fighting my brother told me he had a rebas in fifth grade was talking to them about not fighting with siblings he didn't know what the rebi was talking about we mean people beat up their sisters because that was m the king no fighting ever that my mother was like that she never got upset at us never said a beard word she was a widow was a young age never he was that his way of never getting upset never really upset. So the kids I get married and said I want to wait a few more years. He was 24 25 whatever he was. MY MOTHER SAID TO HIM first was to give what kind of would you want? I was sitting there. I'm Adria to the story to the story. What kind of would you want? We spoke duilt like like 100 years ago. Pick a girl like whatever you want. And third time said, "All right, what kind of would you like?" Nah, whatever you want. She asked him again. We knew the very well because my father was aim old relationship. So says, "Okay, I'm like I'm saying it on tape for who knows." He says thousands of people. This is a true story. So I said, "Okay." My mother picks up the phone and she calls David in Lakewood today. She says to there's still a girl in the family one married. So, so says yeahina says I have a good for you says fine inquired or went back to his rabbitson rabbitson was a mat daughter m's daughter he says and they came back yes they said yes they're engaged in two and a half weeks of he wants a family like I can't tell you Theid shaft that we had with the family I called rebel mother the mirror first names they had no family the Shanghai crowd it's glorified today you know what it means when they came here 400 brah without fathers and mothers and wives they lost them brothers and sisters they had nobody we was like my father was an American my father had their brothers and sisters our second cousins became our cousins no one had any any mishba was user was best friends of my sister had Little kids little kids. I'm talking about you know older of course you're close. So I told a story how happened. You know said to me you know David called he called me called me. He says to ask about tell me about he says I I know I'm learning. He says learning because he's 10 years older than me. You know what he says? I'll tell you that he was a kadesh as a child. He was a kadesh heard that finished he lived his entire life to be kind to people to be nice to people. his modesty. is modesty. I I used to tell him you know I can't describe to you how onasha's take a look at the savior. Who wrote that? None other than who wrote the last eight. Who wrote those eight? So one sure wrote one says told him what to write. He was crying as he wrote it. But the now what happened wrote that of who told him to write that? He stayed in none of how could he stay in none of how can you stay in none of yeah because if you think you're nothing it doesn't change it doesn't change didn't know people came to him for but I'm nothing he yelled I'm nothing people hear him saying the zik is garished in a private room didn't change what they're right I'm none I want to tell you it's a married to it's my own why I like it so much and I called and I told him it's I hold this I told it over to Minski just before he was I used to tell him myish this one he loved I'm telling you I don't want you to hear it I told I was bothered that people thought he's a sadic he was bothered about that. So I try to be every single parent. I try when it comes to women. I'll go up to the room. I'll stand by the door. I'll say my secretary, Mrs. Gordon, she takes care where I go. She in Brooklyn. She sends me to bail. Then one night I have a free night about 20 years ago. I can't tell you what it means a free night. How wonderful the feeling is. But there are two women sitting shiva in flatbush in this neighborhood. Two women sitting shiva. I can't make this up. Rab say in a minute. The whole day I'm thinking should I go or not come? I'm stand by the door be a room full of people and I know and I'm going to stand by the door and turn around go back. I have a free night. Judith is going home. My wife will piss out. What? How can you be coming home? But anyways, but yeah. No. No. Yeah. Should I go? Shall I not go? I walk into the I didn't know. Pull out 17th Street. Left means going home. Right means going to going going to uh going to Brooklyn. I arrive at the first house, Ocean Parkway. 8:30 at night. You'd say prime time. No. 8:30. I walk into the house. She's an only child. A woman and she stands up for me. I said, "Sit down, please. Nobody's there." So I sat down two rows back. And I always do this by the way. I can't stand them all the what goes on in B. I have a thing for many years already and I went mad for me was I went somewhere far out of town with somebody and they were busy discussing the Mets. So I have a cabal and what I do is I go over I say tell me about your father tell me about your mother that's all and I come and you you wouldn't believe the wonderful things you could hear about Eden I grew up in America in the 30s without going to school and stayed from I could write a book what wonder I heard things I heard just from asking this question the kids say I said tell me about your father he's a Holocaust survivor she told me stories for a half hour a half hour she told me stories not one single person walked in I finally said and I left. I left at 9:00. I went to the second house in Flatbush somewhere in the in the east 20s30s around there somewhere a little further down the avenues. And I walk in there dare the same thing. Nobody. One lady walked in between 9:15 and 9:45 to ask if she needs anything. And I asked her about her father the same things. And said, "Bender, you almost blew it." two people had nobody the whole night and you sat there with them and you almost lost it because you were BUSY THINKING SHOULD I GO SHOULD I NOT go didn't stop to think what it would mean to them you hear everybody say when you make a decision I don't care if if you're a truck driver who thinks you're nothing when you go into a shiva call what it means that I didn't stop for a second when hey I'm the head of it's going to mean something if I walk It's going to mean something that one second because very who am I and I saw this ah now I have shot I'll say really anybody should have a gya if ga is 64 parts 18 of 18 famous I'm not going to that right now 164 what for says I can't live in the same house as Balgyver. So why do you need you in the 64th of Gver? And it hit me now. I says, YANK BANDITS, PUSH IT. YOU'RE NOTHING. I SAY YOU'RE SOMETHING that guy you got to have a little bit. It means something to somebody else. These two ladies, you may I called up right away. I knew how much it bothered him that people came to him. It's okay. It's okay. It's all right. That's what I was thinking. It's perfectly fine for you. He could help out somebody. That's you have to have. Yeah. But for he didn't change didn't change. Oneote didn't change nor again and again and again and again again. You know when people came to him for braas I want to start off with a story rebell told me and what's his say over he said the guy doesn't mind told me he had a daughter didn't have children for three years he went over to bbam we had an amitster say I can't begin to tell you what it was having bbam don flatbush he sat in his vinka and flatbush never saw such a lava So he told me he went over to beginning of he said I need a bra for my daughter she should have a child so you think it's so pit giving a braha I'm not even kids I got to find something should be I got to do something for her mumble a word of tib it's not so push I can't give you right now buddhi told me that that year yam kipa it's around 40 days later did not talk it's 40 years later I'm sorry 40 days later and we always used to go by say to the He found five minutes a day when he when he wasn't learning or something. When did he not learn to share mom? And she had a baby less than a year later. He gave they found my brother the notes now they don't want to show it to everybody. Cabalas when people came make kabalas for people by him the greatest zest for life was to help somebody else. And if I could make a cabala to help somebody out we don't know how many days he even fasted for himself. You know he came to every single family simra every sim came late never came on time he's busy doing mitzvah every family sra he never brought his own food never people might sometime he didn't bring their own food right he made sure to yash on there that's it I'm sure he didn't eat the meat but he ate what he had to eat he didn't bring his own food I'm going to embarrass somebody I know what he know how he thought I'm going to embarrass the host or the hostess I'm going to embarrass Of course he ate. He's the guy I just told you before with the kilt fish. Then he went with sugar that they sent him to aim. He lived in rabbis. He just was nifa. He grew up in the same America. He was a great athlete. He was a great athlete in Bungalow County White Lake. He used to win all the races. My parents used to say, "You got to go play." My parents were torn what to do with him. They saw something special. If I might have told him to get free tonight, you got to go see Bill earlier. He'd write down I lost a half hour. You got to give me back to half hour sometimes. He kept a ped. He was nine years old of the time like this. Now he's missing out on play ball. My father taught me I learned how to swim. When Mal at Levia sitting next to me reminded me Mal's father stayed in Bangli for a few years. When Mal was when when took over so she would have when when Baron was nif or couldn't come anymore. Mal the next came to us best friends of m three of them had birthdays together to get together him and Mal one other person should live and be well mal the other one. So he reminded me you remember he says to me was to be called white lake the fish. They called him the fish. He was the best swimmer in white lake. It was a mitzvah to learn how to swim. He used to swim to the middle of white lake. There was no white lake. He used to swim out there. No problem. The fish mal reminded me they called him the fish. There was a bak someone mentioned in the there was a plain English he was a he used to buy as a baket and gave him thousands of hours of time. Thousands of hours. I said the guy is not well and we were right said I'm sorry he needs time the week of he came to was staying by made him and we told him to stop it's not going to help every time he spoke to me it gets worse and he g he didn't care thousands of hours from told me you know this bak told when I lived there surely he says to me this mak says to me he came to my house he made me he made us crazy so I went to shak I used what I do said don't let he heard the story don't let him into the house and he wouldn't hear because and give somebody time and give somebody time to calm somebody down time time incredible level I'm going to cut down a little bit but I at the level of not shy rabbi say I'm just picking out. He was a he was a Gibian. I heard there was a RV in Chicago. [Music] He moved to he was n a year ago of Chicago tells a he once says in you know says says that certain things happen only when other things happen. For example, when is a child to put on film? when he's able to watch them in Tyra. When does a child start doing taking a little of an astric you don't want him damaging that when when can he start? When he knows how to do the num when he knows how to do the shaking then it says when is a child ladder go into the silos when he used to give the mumis when he starts dening when he starts dening. Yeah. What's the to watch? We understand right when you're able to watch a you can put on film we understand that we're able to you're able to do nu what's the shakus he's a murder he says father I know I heard from husband the river deal he says he says the kov last week's para is he takes trumus mus when is You give before you start taking. Learn how to give. When you're you know what it means to bench somebody else then you can start taking. My brother never took in his life. One time that they asked for a band Goldstein his son Goldstein my needed a favor from him called him up tell me I think it he called him up once. He said I need a favor from you. I'm coming over to you. So he said reb no no no I'm coming to you. No no no I need a favor from you. I'm coming to you. Of course, the Talmud went out and the the Talmet came to my to my brother's house sits down with him and he takes down he had on the wall my outlived my father by a number of years had a letter from the from the personal letter from him. Got that letter and it's hanging in his house. It was hanging in his house. He took down the the the frame. He starts showing it. He starts showing it to to this fellow. I for I think his name Elio Goldson I think. starts showing it to him and he spends 20 minutes explaining the letter and everything else. He says, "Rebi, I don't understand. You called me for something. Why are you showing me the letter? Why you so the letter? You came here as a favor for me. I got to do a favor back for you." He couldn't just take the favor that he came. So, I want you to have an offer this letter. Now I can talk to you with a with a with a and a and a. So my sister calls me up looking my sister calls me up one day in the office. Sister Bloommy D mama we called my sister Bloommy's mother and my brother twins except it was six years apart. six and a half years apart but they were twins sameus he go tough for braas in liquid I have pushed the person so she calls me up one day in the office we're very close and then I couldn't talk to the fourth yanko you're not this time you're not hanging up I said blie it's hard for me now yanko that's it I want to tell you a story she says to me six months ago You know what a mif is going to happen now? For one reason when you're an ivid and you love life, you have a zest to do mitzvah. Then it's s of he says six months ago I got a phone call from a vible in Lakewood and the vible in Lakewood tells me I need your brother's phone number in Stanford. This is 28 years ago the story. So my sister Bloommy says 203 327-5475 and she ready to hang up. So the the woman says to my to my sister to Bloommy, don't you want to know why I need the number? Don't you want to know why? Not my business. You just number the number. That's all. I want to tell you why. I'll tell you why. She was just diagnosed and she's also pregnant. And the doctor said, "We must operate immediately because when a woman is pregnant, the disease races very badly. Very, very badly. We don't know what to do." So I called up. She has my sister in she had a sister in Lakewood. She asked the sister to go into her husband. She went to Rshak 28 years ago and he went into he told him the story. Asked he said, "America was come to the man America bender. We have two. One is we think maybe used to write letters. So maybe source some of the letters that we have are incredible. Or it could be because of Shak Rebbitson was best friends was best friends with my mother's mother. Lifsha my mother went to was a widow just a short while when the six day war came along. We sent my mother and this sister together and they went into said open the door and he said she said knew that his rabbitson is best friends with my mother's mother. He took two chairs from the kitchen, Ravshak. And he brought them in. His wife already was already amputated one leg, sick woman. He put down the two chairs, Rashak, and he one for my mother, one for my sister. And he said she was so happy to see my mother. My grandmother was killed in the Nazis. My grandfather, you know, everybody here knows what we're talking about already. She was so happy sat down at the edge of the bed and he participated in discussion. the smoo but the old days for 45 minutes one possibility that's it because he said also this lady the story is about we kept it quiet all the years but this lady who the story happened to this lady was diagnosed came to be my sister said she likewood and she walked in in front of 100 PEOPLE AND SHE WAS HER NAME in the whole story and she said that also said the fact that he's bend but he's also bend the son my father's son that alone goes give her okay I'm telling him about my father go that's why I need this phone number, she says. Six months later, she called back bloom. So, I want to tell you what happened. I called your brother 6 months ago. And he asked me for all the medical all the medical information doctors. He helped people day and night. We used to talk all the time about psychologist. He says he asked all kinds of questions and then he said, "Give me a few hours." I think it was more than medical. I think he went to Davin. We called him back 2 hours later. She said 6 months later I got to call my sister 4:30 4:15. I went over a few weeks before it was nifa. I knew the story a few times. I asked him is a true story. You're never going to say it's true. He didn't say no. That's the answer. Now this lady came after he was nifa. He says he says calls back 2 hours later. Don't worry. Don't worry. No operations. She just called back bloom at 4:15. I got the call at 4:30. I want to tell you what happened. M said such and such had a baby a few days ago healthy that the hospital said you must come in for MRI now. Clean nothing there zero. So four years ago a couple comes to me when I was sitting shi my my siblings and a couple for now walked in. I forgotten the story. They came to see me in Nishiva. They want an appointment with David Feinstein. Can I get them an appointment? It's hard then to get her at that particular time. I said, "You know what? I What's your problem?" She says, "She was diagnosed." Same exact story. I said, "I have a brother in Stanford. He's given all the he's in Muny now. I'm not going to go into the details." Same story. He asked the medical information. They bring me this girl all the time to say hello to this daughter that want a healthy daughter. Nothing happened to this woman. No operations, no nothing. When you love Yiddishkite and you love everything about Yiddish and you love being an you don't need the hot dog that I started out with and the beer that they'll never satisfy yourself. That's not a real zest for life. Zest for life is mamish only like that. I have another long story similar. You promise someone get out of a coma. Rabbi say anybody. It's in this dur he lived. Anybody I say to the bak and I spoke about it two days I got up for shiva anybody. It means becoming a holy Jew. It means deciding I want a zest for life. You know what life really is. Imagine the music band that greeted him when he came up there. Imagine what went up over there. What went on an hour of verbatim. Imagine a person like that comes up to Shamayim and they're jumping for him. The sim my parents walked. My parents saw him. You could imagine my parents. I can imagine it's hard for me to talk I don't want to make but now it's it's hard not to choke up but when my father imagine the fun didn't enjoy life he enjoyed life wanted all of us he loved life he loved being he loved being that's the only way to love life enjoy life we should learn from and learn what life is all about. [Music] Shame [Music] shame like to give a big shak to for the very inspiring draw. Another thing you could do with zest the sponsor is of callery at 7188518651 or email is jashivet.com to have this great to Mr. Mrs. Ellie Goldbam for sponsoring tonight's share. I would like to give a big to and his son Winkler sponsoring tonight officials all and to the Bloom family for the support of Tonight, [Music]