Hurting Someone's Feelings. Is It Ever Permissible? Rabbi Zev Smith

hurting someone's feelings is that ever permissible have the exposure sponsoring share called against your entire 718-851-8651 or email ist at yeshivanet.com smith recently he's in the yeshiva and the the policy is that you miss shockers a few times you have to set the attention which is a punishment obviously and he's been doing this for really almost two years he puts up a sign every week whoever has this punishment one week a boy comes over he's being mad my name's on the list everybody sees and which happens all the time at home or in a clear setting a child does something inappropriately and the parent or the rebbe you know tells them off is that we had it someone told me he's in a certain school and they had the palace whoever talks during the shout outs and they yelled at him and he was humiliated he never had such an experience you want to know if that's the right thing so as you see we have questions that will have much more but rashool and the yeshiva at home family life that basically involved a very sticky issue of being albanic embarrassing someone publicly so there's no doubt about it hurting someone's feeling is a very serious issue and we don't need more than getting that in boy is mind-boggling all the bhusha of one yakid helped us so obviously has to be the guiding force in our lives but the question is is there any heter mitzvah in a school setting so the embassies past this we are the mitzvahs you know don't justify availabilities but rabbi say tonight today we're going to learn it's not a muslim and we have to learn the sugya of what's the source of the israel what are the parameters of the islam and is there any hitler mitzvah so the embassy is the first source regarding i know as divorum is the possibility of some isn't it obvious if someone dies that his wife said and children are you simon so rashid quotes khazal that he's going to get lost his body won't be recovered the the his wife will be a nagoona ko yamaha the children cannot yarsham there's no closure on this suffering teleport this is but the embassy is even more than that because the anybody who learns hummus noticed the so if you look in the ebenezer i think and he says they're really only one person to diablo but where's the rest of the people why the listener is not speaking up why is there no outrage why is it no protest because if we had a zero tolerance to ana's divor it wouldn't be so now we see what it means the one that's doing it the one that hears it but you know in america they say talk is cheap but says yes but more than that we find them and that's the of today of but do it in in the most painless way if you're going to embarrass him rashi explains you'll be mao bin pawn of here a person is doing hashem shamayim to give some a muslim which is to do but if he doesn't do it in the most painless way if he doesn't either or he uses hurtful words that he could have avoided from a mitzvah becomes a terrible issa of leicester and this according to almost all the resigning is one of the tarjak mitzvahs now the word malbim that rashi uses is really based on the gemaran bhava matsuya in the new customer base called malphina when you embarrass someone it's like with sichua now twices points out typically when someone gets embarrassed it turns red in the face what does it mean album white potatoes explains first the blood rushes and he turns red then he turns white and that's when hannah explains he's white like a mace and rashanim explained hurtful word which is terrible that's him but our bonus pon him is even more painful when he pushed it his face turns colors the ramen says that the iss is even privately and kosh gained don't forget but the point as the rambam and safe amidst business it says it very beautifully the whole if you if you heard him with words until they stand upon him besides the virus that could be right if he did it that's even worse the raven the mischievous and obvious pair of gimbal is only if he's wrong not just once and even if he's wrong the rambo and kashuva that i mentioned gimmel yoda says that even without this tuba not nothing is beyond cuba but malmo but we see more than that and that's the gemara involvements who's talking it's better to die than to embarrass someone publicly where did they get where they get this from the famous story of tamar tama was being taken out to be burnt not only herself she had two urban she had the future of malcolm's based imperative she was carrying and she was being punished what she didn't do wrong it really was yehuda's fault and if she would have said who she's expecting from she would have been saved but she decided to drop a hint send the message that i'm expecting from the one that owns these this mashken and as rashi explains if yehuda will be muay they did wrong she'll be saved if not she was willing to burn herself and her children not to embarrass someone three in the fascists the gemara seems to learn this is literal and will soon see that according to many of you showing him is actually a hurricane but the truth is there are more sources to the concept of melbourne the mahabhara of the safer major star piercing has a beautiful reading an apostle comparison but typically when a person kills someone else he starts to bleed what is it doesn't leave it's stuck in his body but there's another source an incredible lesson le maison in parishes when joseph is uh taunting or intimidating his brothers they don't know who his identity and yourself is plotting he's her gation he can't do this any longer these are his own brothers could not control himself he's about to burst but before he bursts everybody out all the time have to live leave even his bodyguards the cia everybody has to leave um when jose repealed himself no one's allowed to be in the room that was almost suicide don't forget yourself was antagonizing his ten brothers now you who'd already threatened him in power beginning of like you guys i'm gonna kill you like i'm gonna like i'm not worried about you simon and lady did a job on a whole city they could take care of yosef and now joseph is leaving himself vulnerable he's only with his brothers 10 brothers and after intimidating they're going to kill him in that moment he went into terrible danger because they could have killed him on the spot and no one would be to protect him so why do you do something as suicidal as that believer i rather die than embarrass my brothers publicly and if you look in russia look again rashi learns that to be the positive shot he was plotting from the thought that maybe he's gonna embarrass his brothers and the truth that they deserved it but joseph was was another example of adam to give up his life and not embarrass someone publicly both tamar and joseph was before the terror was given before we had the mitzvahs in instinctively a person said i can't embarrass someone publicly but i think what's the most striking source of malbim is the puzzle that we probably learned every year but now we'll hear the possibility imagine the following tragedy someone gets married then nebuchadnezzar doesn't like his color he does divorce is expensive and it's very time consuming she has a terrible plan he's going to make a moisty shamrock that chews mazana and veznen will take care of it they'll kill her and they'll have to give a get save money but the father sticks up for his daughter and saves his daughter now imagine the next day you read in the paper a story uh scandal uh pointy said lush and arabic is his color so you say wow this is this is really misrepresenting the story plenty wanted to kill us color right he took it the best and cheeseburger but you know something deposits says like i told you in paris the whole story you know why he's punished he said someone publicly is worse than killing kitsara lima marmi mothers killing someone is a habitsar embarrassed in public is now if you ask me what's shot you know you know embarrassing is terrible but it's marmi marves but the kasha is stronger because the mystery says in office as i mentioned that no we're getting to understand this that it's like with caesar but the cash is even received if someone kills someone else we don't fight anger so how could khalimba be worse than secret doctor a different benign gimbal aleph that are saying knows he did a terrible thing and i'll do chuma so he has a in her book but someone that's he doesn't think he did anything wrong he's sitting by a table and he makes a joke and everybody laughs he he thinks he's being samaya he got a mitzvah they said hey your ice cream robin come on i'm just joking so it's worse than retiro that's a benign chat but the a different reason the taj bits and it's mugging up on our voice and his words are precious chiari leficia when you kill someone it's terrible much worse than melbourne but it's painless he's dead when you embarrass someone it's not just words you pasteled him it's absol gabra you invalidated him you labeled him that list a person goes to sleep thinking what you said he wakes up then what do you think what you said the guy is i could tell you stories that people tell me years later they still can't forget what someone said someone tom came over he said you're talking about i'm album i'm telling you i'm over 50 years old i can write every time someone's motivations i'm five years old i'll never forget them that's human nature you know the nourishing world sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never harm me that's absolutely wrong i would say names will never leave [Music] someone told me and he was young he would make a joke his father goes why are you lying he goes i'm joking don't see you joking say you're lying right don't say a joke and say you're killing any keras and that's why it's taken worse than and that's tackle why no you play the order but now you get a wonder wait a second this doesn't make sense because if it's true that malbec river you have to give your life nicely a lot of them we store it from your easter event tomorrow so it's a now you heard about some dish a new example of erica yapper so it's a good cache you know we estacasia twice is inside that pyramid base and twice this says why doesn't it mention in the game of hamura is malvin so twice is because it's not before russia's batoya now of course it is mafoorish on the first is going on stencil on the site and others twice this clearly holds but since it's not the fourish it's not in the murder that's twice says even shaarfa he says what do you mean it's not in the gis it is in the list included in getting in sweetheart is my opinion so you have been up and you have a toy space then melbourne is uric valiable it's has four places in renewing them in paris to taichung parish he said say that that deeper raw is worse than there is no oil and now we have your vayava okay i must mention the meri in bronchus so we say it's something very very positive but now the question is how do we apply this more specifically is there any heck of a mocha mitzvah can you do it if your intention is so postured will say iboy you say my swara the ends don't justify the means but we would that's mitsuba but the truth is you have to come on to that because he bought his aim uh the whole the car of melbourne is in within the context of me also tommer could have saved three nephrons herself and two odd women and she didn't because them that's also mitzvah but it was most striking the well-known gemara in baba basha that's when she taunted her sister hannah to dive into her children she was shem shamayam that she hurt hannah's feelings and the words made you know now we say you know the niche you know because but she was punished terribly so how do you say it's a mutha mamaka in mitzvah but the embassy is there are a number of sources there is a hector now listen to this there is who speaks about the mitzvot you have to do it gently but if it doesn't work but if it's not the aza give it all you got and embarrass him publicly with silk gloves but dr rambam if needed to yell at them so you have three rambams that says the issa and says ahead but to me which is the biggest kiddish of them all we saw being in four places demanding excellence in in this indian of the quran gulliver missouri which was which kyan said when he killed the fourth of the population but the aram boy you ever wonder what this means guarantee do you look at the premier gardens you've gotten you're an outlet you're simba robin screaming him publicly what's the car of this machaba so the basia is that quotes are being now we have to say for nigeria printed in back of most of the charity but it says and therefore you have to scream at him even the same abandon that said four times the choice of it tells you to yell at a person don't forget if you have a minion it's a rabbit three people but this is ten people so the obvious philip is partial there's no header of mocha mitzvah on a regular sense do do it right dealing with ammunition sign them do it carefully deal it with tell me them do it carefully there's a way to do it and usually you could get results if you do it without embarrassing them but what does someone do when it doesn't work what does someone do when he's watching a most horrific hashem called talking during hazard do you know that the when he killed a fourth of the population so what do you do when you see a khalashem mahava says in year a day a rage gimmel seep off in a different context a person sees his rebbe wearing sharpness in the street challenge their eyes have to go over and tear it off the rebbe's back they leave him in a very uh embarrassing situation but it comes to kalashen and hulk uncovered laravel so therefore i'd rather have to do things gently softly but if was not going to work and you can't let this horrific hashem continue but beniona is saying ideally do things with abel kite but it doesn't work now the only call of the hour is to stop this ongoing kalasha and the rambam talk is also not a stealer the navy gave muslim need be even with fire with mama's brimstone on fire and malama has to try to work gently but as we'll as we know some doesn't work the ik is the same reverse message in the beginning of shilling if someone did something wrong you have to put them in even if by doing that he's going to go off to the because what he did is kill hashem and it can't go unnoticed but the truth is that hashem does more damage than anything you know it comes to mind what the what the what we find in evan ezra and i and allah see if allah based on a remark that someone doesn't want to support his children he doesn't want to give child support and if that doesn't work get up with sibor and say pointy absorbi and he's worse than an if tommy that at least tommy look at the praise you think of his he's an actor worse than an if tommy the terror says it can't be a hefckerbelt the world can't go you know without a certain balance there's a certain sense of geek about dinesahar abstinent has an incredible shuva in all of zion but that must be saudi arabia is the tribe of sardis a week later he approached the other girl you owe me money no no i don't know i i don't know i'll lie down because when my signature says that is busy with what he forgot he says i have ate them ah no it's not true i'm not paying so he wants to go to bed i have eight and he owes me a dollar okay so that's an insanity don't make it embarrass the poor person but let's he decides he wants to go to bed could he force the aiden to go we can't embarrass his time with hawking for a dollar come on so there's no doubt about it the aiden they'll go there on the issa um why well why not you give a dinosaur i'll be embarrassed so let him let him pay the money so there has to be a certain balance and this is the yesterday that we're going to use that avada a person to do things hopefully in the most harmless and painless way but if there's no other aids now is the time to uphold prejudice and then i found a sahaba nafsi a beautiful rabbikhana besides that was the guy nagaina but he was made this war example but he writes in such a cheetahs he says that the isa is not the action in other words nothing is absolutely wrong it's if it's the wrong thing to do it's wrong and it gives six examples there's an is of sinner to hate someone but then again there's a mitzvah the hater russia there's a issue of hitting someone even picking up your hand is wrong but you've added a talmud light of the child there's an islam to be awesome but the same rambam says and then his last martial is there's an iss of maldon but when there's no other aid to rambam you have to give muslim even if it hurts and a perfect analogy is the horrible available horror that's mahmoud but the same past sometimes the grief is to stand up and talk literally well that's the assay that wahana is saying these all these are various of melbourne and therefore results may cesar but it is no other eighth son if it's a tls it's not the issa of lycesa it's to speak up now of course you're walking on a tightrope you know you're talking about your oil harbor but yeah and there's no room for error you know there's no room for miscalculations and i think the most perfect indication of this the eternal lesson to be careful approach with caution is penina penina the gemara is made [Music] once explained this was not the wrong approach this is not the first time a person remember whatever the question was but i think i could add an even better raya because it's it's it's it's nothing less the symbol of los angeles is miriam's lost an essay alef the tsitkis of miriam when she said these words she was sadakis she meant her brother's good she loved them she was not makhaba it was sitkas but it was miscalculated and it was blessed in heart and that's the heart that's one of the sheikh sahir is miriam is the representative of the evil of los angeles so and because of that even and even ahava and all of the what about it so look at these two examples so you have to approach with caution it's like you know a doctor has to make a very delicate life-saving surgery so he doesn't just jump into it he researches that the issue maybe different plans he consults other doctors and then he prays he should save the patient no this is also it's a delicate surgery you have to consult others sugar ivy it's make sure that's the only alternative test but speaking about these type of child we have to be making someone borrow on the line you know people say i'm not worried maybe he doesn't believe in but if he does the english is frightening so basically be careful and i would advise you have a suffolk if it's the right thing chef altas others you come up yelling they'll say let's go why won't you move say i was afraid to okay that's a good excuse but they say why volume about us so i said i was canoeis oh you were the champion oh you're gonna start laughing so you might be in trouble see but you're safer better off when you have a doubt just shave out but this is look at the extent of it now let's try to apply this so first of all giving musa is definitely a mitzvah [Music] says try first of all it must be privately also do it positively we always mention what the shlock of the past is giving us the ideal way of being them or children there's one way he said you're a bad boy you did you no good you're hurting him you're destroying him that's i told her let's don't talk to the bed in the person he's going to hate you he doesn't know what likes to be invalidated you know what's better you're a good boy why you do a foolish thing you're a special boy why you doing that is the boy build him and criticize his action it does it's not congress but you're love you because you made me good it's past finish oh i'm good that's the way to do it criticize the action build the person sometimes you write a nice letter with with the musa and you sign a silent admirer you know people don't like anonymous letters it shows that you're not that you're you're a chicken you're coward so right a secret admirer who really means to your good those letters work wonders so definitely there are ways of doing it and you could be making the mitsu without the silhouette and don't forget you know like someone else but the truth of when i might give muslims even privately and i mean well he feels bad that i told he did something wrong no but that that's the mitzvah no one unless you're no one loves muslim but if you did it the most painless way it's like the the like the life-saving surgery yes it's a cavalla it hurts but that's the mitzvah so first things first do it publicly below and as the rambam says stress i'm doing it for your good i want you i want to see you with all your beauty and that this is not you but what could you do sometimes it doesn't work la marshall like the common martial you're sitting by a table and yeshiva and someone smoking lost in her so what are you supposed to do you gotta think quickly so obviously if you could somehow change the subject okay but some of the person's waiting till you finish and it goes back to his so you could say nicely uh i think that's lush and hard but that's not going to work now we have the rambam's part two plan b now we have what the rambam says you have to speak up and even if it's because this is a this is horrific in tough races gimbal gives the clout available if sitting and someone says no and no one speaks up that's the problem that perpetuates the problem there's no you know not so bad but the only aids is to speak up marie's appellate being in the healing of anyone who was so sensitive to melbourne in charity the gimbal cuffs that coupe exactly and has this very that said it's with secrets with sikha but in this case not being malvin is a bigger receiver because he's he's being marshalled the rest of the people the same thing is regarding khazar shots someone's talking if they're doing the shots something that really shouldn't be especially today there's such a heightened awareness of those hashtags and talking and the other and god love it but you know we don't need more than god love or any ministry so what do you do if someone's talking so you try a friendly shah noo or maybe stop the belt filler from going you know a subtle hint but there has to be the zero tolerance that that's really the problem and that's the solution if we don't let this go on but what do you do now if he's not helping so he's off the safe hard gun what's that shot got left that would that kind of say when he killed the fourth of the population did the safe have gone exactly the sukhumara has used that lotion because one that's talking can be right say action organ they come upon them he'd not darkening and this person is destroying the kayak of that villa because that has talking is an aircraft and i'll tell you all the macarius tyson's jumptips said but that was because of that a person talking is sure is it right the vander ritaia so you don't decide to be able and say okay you know each their own okay but then again sometimes people don't get to hit them then you have to do what the berkshire bay is right in members you have to appoint strong policemen that walk around destroyer and yell at people like this the same is true regarding korea satoru it's the same avila this is groudon may be worse but by both kriya satorum and khazr the problem is there's no zero zero zero tolerance attitude imagine the same sure someone's talking during muslim rosh hashanah davening even though it's only a minute i mean he heard 30 coils but you're not talking muslim hashanah until they finish the last tikian someone talks they'll tell them and why isn't it infinitely worse so if the zero attitude kicks in and that's that's the problem another question some or maybe like my quote what about curry asked me what do i do about the vultures i said what did that mean like i was talking about so people waiting to pounce me when i make the slightest mistake so it's interesting for some people that's the best part of governing so i don't want to take away their geshmaq but it's interesting this is not so positive i want to tell you it's not so positive because if even three people by three stars at least 10 people and the base and the torah and simmon kuffman base quotes one of the daily restraining the safe harmonic as the valkyrie makes the mistake don't correct him because you'd be melbourne be robin now that's about kyrie's dream as you could imagine but unfortunately for them the mahabhara in kuf members is not possible like that and he said you have to correct it because we have to have a lady that's perfectly cautious but the bigger plea is the ramon goes for a step further and if the mistakes are not given a muscle trump ain't much zero noise you don't make him return have a great iron boy and we think the arm is worse right that's good like you said like by shots saying now this is coming from a tumor sedation helix based sim and cough that they saw by a boy's side that many times they didn't make him go back but he writes us at the word now what's the shot so the positive shot is that if it's a mistake that you have to repeat so even though he went further you have to say i'm sure they have to go back i'm sorry which is terribly embarrassing it has to go back people start making all sorts of noises moaning and groaning so it's very embarrassing but let's say it's not market so really it's not mark if he could go write him but because you can't lane and make mistakes i mean you know personally human but you have to prepare you have to know it better so much you're on the end of copman based poop shot first of all if you don't correct him people think that maybe he's slain correctly they'll think that their homies has a mistake it's misleading it's misrepresenting the torah he leaned it wrongly but also he says if if if it's easy you know say easy reading he just keeps leaning and no one says a word next week he'll appear less and we have to protect to create satire you know you take a job it's not the most popular job but you got to be on your toes the buchacha and kuffman base might come out the same thing he said if the valkyrie worked hard i didn't correct him if it if it wasn't a real mistake i told him afterwards by the way try to prepare a little more unless he was a patient in other words it's basically just to keep the balcora you know focused that they do things right but this grey iron boy is a different nature it's tackled the lesser of two einshin means you have to go back which is very embarrassing okay means uh s instead of ace okay he goes light okay but the word is s not ace let's try and betray him those things you know you know i'm going to repeat now i want to mention also i'm not about kyogre they not a guise but sometimes a person wakes up oh by the way he said the wrong words that's a novel why'd you wake up the end of haining you heard a mistake speak up because then it starts did you make the mistake or not if you think it's a mistake speak up right away some people come at the end of the leo whatever so try to you know realize that the quote of of the valkyria is precious but the end of the day if there's a mistake the meaning is to correct him gratitude today we'll even repeat it if you you know if he didn't go further but basically i think we could say that valkyrie has to work very hard to do his job properly and vultures have to find other pleasure it's not their you know time for fun but the somebody asked me about the guy we'd have torah which is not as important maybe a lot of changes but basically it shouldn't change because if he's laying it for a tv lightly boy if he's using a cloth so we want to have a good lady but even if not he's landing for from humish or whatever they use but if you let a mistake go by survive the people don't correct it they say you know they hear the wrong word so basically again the balcore has to be focused on doing it his job right the most challenging questions are the related questions and basically i start with that philosophy but one thing i want to say i am not talking about our most precious commodity i dare not tell them what to do you know to be in to criticize me you have to be on the front lines yourself you have to see the difficulty in and then you could give aces i'm not giving aces i'm trying to present what i saw in the post game one thing is abundantly clear being a mechanic is not an easy pass to say what you want you know you can't say i can say what i want the rambam and the mahabharata has a whole heck of a regis member mission hey raise from above how to be a malamate when a rebbe reacts out of anger that's sending a very bad message that means i really get angry so could i also balaclav toys even the helicopter what should we say and the child sees you know kids children adults children have certain sense of of the the divide like they say the rabbi is out of control that means rebels got to get out of control that that's a terrible i've heard from parents that the children should come home the representative robin the kid starts to cry i'm not saying the child is right i mean the child is all of 10 years old and the rebbe is in mechanic for 40 years before his child was born you know parents can't just react without thinking but at the end of the day as i told you there's mulamden but then again you can't run a class if you can't say what you have to say don't forget the same rambam the same of how to layer captain malamade pose like a captain malamute zweig murphy tommy them you know part of rebbe's job sometimes is to to respond even publicly a child says that my child love doctor talbot says something whether a child at home a son a talmud yeshiva something that that's that's wrong the rebbe just lets it go that means he's he's uh accepting it he's validating it that's a terrible khalasha the morgan rama's something that was done wrong publicly has to be has to be repaired has to be corrected you know sometimes you tell a child says something that's outrageous how could they let it go now he'll say a word the child be embarrassed so that's the faucet of the akhid but to let this stick the statement go unchallenged is in the fashion of their album gifted ones club said with great sending a child out is dina fashion but keeping a child in the yeshiva is in the first of the robin a child that says something that that a terrible message and the rebbe just lets it go is is in the first of their album now of course again you know but no doubt about it when when something was done be robin we have the rambam we have the machaba the rebbe has to respond now if the rebbe could use the following approach usually it works what he said now was terribly wrong we'll deal with it later but no one should think that the fact that i'm just go invite her this what was wrong i'm sure no one will think of you know following what he said and go by them this way you basically puzzled that statement and hopefully the children will see that you know you're just going to come back to it at a different time but the rambam's lost in the vm humiliated people publicly but important if the rebbe has to say sometimes a sharp word just explain i i usually you know abraham's a terrible aveira but now the allah says we have to say that this was an avla that we cannot accept just like lush and horror of the tls we try to say it's not russian horror it's it's a mitzvah whenever he has to pay come to this last resort let him explain kinder luck were very careful hurting someone's feeling especially robbed him that's a you know young yapulashi gives you an age but this is something that we can't let go on you know it's been in the fashion it's nothing to talk about there right palm used to say that sometimes the child went off to there because of a statement that he got in yeshiva now of course it's only an excuse but who wants to be someone's excuse rahman al-islam but the cloud is never to react says so i want to point that to a different rambom a mitzvah virus because there is a gimbal when the ram mom speaks about the gnus of cass and he adds that even when when a rebbe has to get angry royal records you have to put on a show as if you're getting angry you know they say the ultimate kill got angry at talmud and he turned in the middle turns am i doing a good job so it has to be a show but if something is done out of cast it's ineffective sometimes it's it's devastating the ball call toys you say the wrong thing there has to be control now if he can't control the real cast then he's potter he's an honest there has to be an external you know a show of anger of displeasure but it has to be with control because if he says something wrong you can't take it back you destroy your child for no reason that's a corbin so it's walking a tightrope and that's why you say you know you have to be on the front lines to know the greatness of of the urbanium today you know the guts beyonce world that that has crept into our system you know we need all we can you know you if you yell at the child that it's not you it's it's the sahara that's a whole different usa i'm patching yet sahara not you i might think departure children today but that's the added that's someone told me he saw a talmud that was not listening goes what's the next word because the fairish if you see he's not listening now what else you're supposed to do so basically you know the talmud should be appreciated the rebbe cares enough to stop his class to get you back to listening so basically it's a very delicate balance and you have to have a lot of cycle but you have to think and again when someone's angry he's not thinking the question i began with where the rebbe puts up the principles of a list of those are in detention are punished and the talmud says i'm embarrassed my name's on the list so the embassy yes this this one out why don't you go to each time but privately because it takes too long that's not a tattoo that's part of your job so he said but that's part of the punishment i said oh that that like that you say so that's a field you know if part of the punishment might be wrong but like you know maybe okay but to me you know if a talmud says you've been revised you know that even if you might be right in the letter of the law but the thing that you're imparting is very dangerous i said you know i'll give you an original idea put up these social security numbers of the boys that are punished no one knows someone else social security number this way you know you but better would be to go with each one and go privately and and uphold their covet it's possible that the alakas of maldon applied to a cut the rambam says it says it in fact the cotton is more humber because it's and basically it's interesting that prima got them and they said it says just like you can kill a cotton you can't be mobilizing see the people got them live with that equation that that but there's no easy pass i'm a parent i'm a rebbe it has to be within the context of allah now another question urged me to mention that i hope it's not nageya but there's no hector to make jokes about one's own spouse you know someone said told him ishta kagufai now that doesn't dignify your response but bama's the gamora involvement of montes puts it a little more succinctly pay canascus but it's my wife so they choose to go in before they show him say yeah it's your wife you promised you have to pay the cannas that's that's that's right you know we look we live in a world of schoolness i'll give you a guaranteed school that's going to work i quote the gamora's lush and helix is no of course there's no special heather and that's posted kibsute that that really is not included in this heather whatsoever what i should mention also is something which really maybe i could say in a certain sense and put a cloud for all calallen that basically we have to realize that the russian gave us a torah and gave us and gave with the confidence that we could do it a person has to learn to think and ask shyless marshall someone told me i don't know how this goes on in a certain masjid before purim they make grammar about all the tummy them and its mom is full of you know sharp lines ayala al-dasam it's recorded in history that shim and seif with some of the son of sam saifa died in lagos nephews that he had on purim when obviously they thought that some type of a heter he had never died from it you know i once made a list i i have time not to go through that list of in gamora's in tightness the end of tightness on the base things that ha in order to do something i'll give you one i'll give you two examples the mission in the end of saita says the the biggest yamcha by eden because what were tuba and yom kippur what's the gaza of tuba of one shining mother is they made a takana that all cows have to wear the same gown and no one could have a nicer gown than her friend i i could afford it and i'm not doing anything wrong if i used the poor collar why can't i make a nice gun i'm a rich bird i'll make a rich gown but they gave up their simcha not to buy someone else or how about this we have three times a day a reminder quietly shouldn't it be better loud because when we say slachelano and the balavare has to clap his al hait he's going to be mavoyish so gandhi is no do we need more than that the eighth says like the words of the gemara in brock where blessed was dying and they came to him rabbi give us some aids how to live without you go on world without you so he said his voice that's the one thing he gave them you know there's a person that thinks knows what to say typically but the problems you don't think and where's all the time but once a year this talmud didn't ask any questions why when that was jaime the regular like we have called the akikawa and rashi explains the whole city came out to this year and the talmud know the answer so we know that no one knows everything rather than embarrassed but will be there nothing huh the receivers know the answer and that once a year he didn't ask questions and maury says about him every day of the year what he did was people risked their eyes once a year there was a sensitivity don't ask questions and you see what to do and i'll leave with one more in the my an aleph gimbal do you show me that is was going to do a mitzvah to learn and it was a problem in the way was the nahariginoi so we know from other places xiaomi that he made an s which is something that is bigger than korea for what about us we also have to get over the company shiva can we also make the nest so who had a he said if you tell me you never heard someone's feelings in your lifetime you too could make the nest of spirit so what's the peak what's the zenith we need to sponsors the sponsors these headings for thousands of people listening to it all over the world and big secret up they changed their homes they changed their families and everybody inspires everybody around them so you know how many thousands of people get inspired from this hashem man