Complicated Kibud Av Situations - Rabbi Zev Smith

foreign child a son should not give the father a haircut and the Assumption was that because often when a haircut is given it causes the the person to bleed in this case the parent to bleed and as we'll see there's a it's a hammer causing a parent to bleed now when I look at the silkyo I found the restrain him say this we'll soon see one of the baliatosis says this and the question is why and then we really heard other questions on this on the same about giving a injection a needle to a parent that's necessary or parents that have a uh they're a diabetic and they have to have a prick they have to test their blood occasionally can a son do that cause the parent to bleed of course for a benefit of the parent and before long we had uh close to two dozen childless about this interestingly enough the title is very indicative of the issue very difficult keep it off Quest and then I'll explain because as we should know hopefully we do know as he xiaomi and beginning of pay refers to keep it up as I mean that alone that we find it in the aceres speaks volumes of what what keep it up is all about but what's much worse is when a child calls a parent to bleed and actually I was still ranging from haircuts to Pricks to surgery as we'll see but basically we're talking about something very serious now let me mess with that before we start today's sugya like all of keep it of applies to men and women to Sons and Daughters the terrorist says sons and daughters but since we're talking to men we'll talk about men but it's who are then daughters daughters caring for elderly parents have the same shyless and also just like it Thursdays in four different places there's absolutely no difference between keep it of or keyboard aim it's all one again we're talking to men about men but who are then a daughter to a mother so the question basically is why are we so concerned about this issue he's doing it for the benefit of the parent so the Makara of this Sugi for today is and Rashi explains which is really based that even though hitting another ID is an isakama even lifting a hand to another is a Russia but is the level of hennik According to some is one of the most common Mrs bazden and indeed in the beginning and the first one that gets hanuk is the gamara does qualify that as Sanhedrin pay Dallas in the bottom that doesn't mean hitting a parent it means if it causes it to bleed even if he didn't damage the parent but as we'll see a mere tipas Dam that a child causes the parent to bleed that is that again speaks volumes of is a few seconds later we see I guess another expression of hamburgers and that is cursing Israel she says certainly the most common dick is so we have two Misa regarding parents explains that the the series of this is of Makkah vimai to give Musa to the navalam they have a deer how dare you've lift a hand to a parent you know parents gave you everything that you you need and you dare raise your hand to a parent and this is gimmel explained that the site of keep it up is akarasatoiv and you have to do everything to show gratitude to the parents but to be and hit a parent that caused the bleed that's moist humans the Ramba Memorial that there is a person hits a parent [Music] because a person gets angry and he says something but that we have to be very careful to protect that reality that attitude that reaction we need a major deterrent that that shouldn't happen but be that as it may in this world that we live in that is sort of abandoned the concept of keep it up it's something in archaic old-fashioned uh you know practice and two moist humans what's noteworthy there are more in here that really a cotton that doesn't available it's not really held accountable because he's a not a badass but Ramos says but a cotton that becomes a goddam and remember that he hit his father when he was young to do chuv on it says when he aggravated his mother when he was nursing but basically you wonder well if he did it as a cut in his Potter what's the problem Terraces it seems that a person can't go on a life with any blemish and keep it up even if it else cut but we see a little more regarding this is and that is and I'll quote the lotion of the race a person hit his parent on the air and they became deaf foreign are telling us a medical fact when someone hits someone else's ear and it becomes deaf it has to be that it caused internal bleeding and there was at least a drop of blood that somehow affected the operation of the ear and that's why the parent became deaf so that's again a lesson for itself but we see from here something very important how much Dam do you need to be either a Maka of us down but it's more than that because we understand bleeding means if it starts to bleed and you see the blood the xiaomi and sanhajin the beginning of parakeet aleph has a Shiloh is that like Maca another person in Hilton or is that like Shabbos what's even internal bleeding what we call a black and blue Mark but that's really internal bleeding on Shabbos the Mahaba says if a person makes a maca it bleeds internally he's alsoever that's not true there has to be a hezek and internal bleeding is not a hezek IAH how about a person hits a parent and he causes a black and blue Mark and by the way black and blue Mark is the product of internal bleeding where the the veins burst and the blood comes out but doesn't burst forth it's internal bleeding but the bavoli in babakama is clear says the native and Amic sha Allah very excited but the the Tiff points out from the bat from the gamoran bavakama we see even internal bleeding is both say the same thing so now we see an additional actually two home rice first of all lab dafka revisor because I used to blood even tipas Dam and even internal bleeding so what's this even Amir prick which takes just a drop of blood and certainly a child to make Sergio and a parent and there's so much bleeding but we're going to suggest the following a son has to be an insane Sun that hits appearance with malicious intent be amazed that's my Sumas if this bleeding but in our case he's a very kind son the parents need an ejection they need a brick they need a surgery and the parents want their son you know the American dream my son the doctor and now when I need him he can't do with these kids he's from I want my son to do it so it's not it's not the haval it's not a riches and maybe we'll even say we could base it on again so maybe the same thing will say regarding of course you can't hit a parent but if the parent wants is to do what the parent needs and this seems to be the sheets himself admits he didn't find this any other place but he says and his borrower if he does it without resus but if the parents give refused to do it and it includes emphatically Michaela it's a Mitzvah um there is no Islam I got a dead sea one of the achaims say this lotion if the parent wants it it goes from an Islam to a Mitzvah keep it of now obviously does not mean that he hits first and then asks that won't help but if he gave resist initially there's no wisdom however this is hard to accept and we could say is really hard to understand means because bishlima when it comes to keyboard that's the parents rights I have a right to ask my son for a tea now let's say I see it's too hard so it's my rights I'm the violent to ask for it and be Michael but is not your rights that's it possibility who gave you the right to let your child be over aimer Chrome I'll tell you something else because it's true that office let's see the fire says you're in a bad mood let it out just say whatever you want and the sun I mean he's into keep it up and he does know everything bad about the father so this is the cast of Mission interesting in the end of this number third not talking about keep it off he quotes a reverse one of them is showing him in the end of Simon they're talking about but says like this why this far because now it's not it can be it's still a terrible position and it's proof listen to this the right is we know of some but it's possible quoting the reverse that he the son can't say even though the father is now he's talking about Arabi but the Assumption for the opposite is regarding keep it off foreign and here we see clearly it doesn't but the point is if the parent is no bizarian and I know you didn't gain you didn't lose so you back to square one but on Brazilian doesn't take away the Brazilian of it he stands and says it's intolerable [Music] so therefore we understand now that and some takes regarding doesn't help foreign but there is one point to consider regarding our shyless and that is like I mentioned earlier but I'll try to bring it out a little better if the Sun is movassa the parent with resource it's still a bazillion you can't change Brazilian our case it's not a maca it's not a Brazilian the parent needs a surgery and they have only have trust in their son the doctor it's not MacBook resource he's doing it for their benefit let's say a person has an advanced the state of Vienna makra and is in deep trouble there's a very kind actor he's an expert of all experts he's willing to do a surgery for free and he's going to succeed in Saving the patient's life so right before he starts the incision the nurse starts yelling don't you dare hurt that patient you know it hurt a year you're not a behaving lift the hand to hurt an impatient but to make a cut don't you dare hurt me or Isaiah so it's time for them to retire you know it's not hurting the patient he's saving his life right no one looks at at a surgery like but you'll have to do it because so look how the same applies to keep it off if he's mavasa with resource but the end of the day it's still bizarian but a surgery or a injection it's not a mice I mean it is and it's bleeding a lot of bleeding but he's doing it so it's not an essay it's not an Issa and I could do better there's a inspiring You xiaomi In Paya and peric aleph the zombie tells a story with dram in fact that the mother of Israel came to these Shiva and complained about a song that you smiled that he has no keep it off keep it aim I should say so if you know he smells incredible keyboard aim when his mother had to get up on a bed and she couldn't reach the bed so he would bend down and become a human stepping stool and now they hear complaints about it be Smiles so they their face turned you know pale and they asked what is he doing he goes when he comes up from Yeshiva I want to wash his feet and drink the water from his haliger feet and he doesn't let me so their abundant called the visuals listen you know this is extenuating circumstances let her do it let her wash your feet and drink the water and that's the famous quote with Chinese so maybe that also applies here if the parent wants that wants this surgery or this prick or this injection it's not shocked that it's it's a Brazilian yeah it's not a bizarre it's a mitzvah so before we apply this because the truth is it is most of the Mustafa let me let's learn to stick a legumar the gamara actually the Mission San Hedges I told you earlier says now you have to know a little bit of history there was a medieval of an old-fashioned uh refua officially and some of us sick they were might make makers that make a diamond they drew blood bloodletting l-e-t-t-i-n-g like Letty took out blood and the Assumption was that if he has too much blood that's why he's sick take out blood then he'll be okay but that causes them that we have to know is it was before it was a medical procedure let's say the father needs not causes them and his sons knows how to do it can a son we make his damn now what's the Shayla why what's the he's taking he's making them bleed and a lot of blood but this is our Shayla it's not surgery it's that causes them but here The Refuge was making moitsidam and that's the murder so the Martyr says Master said it's a very supposedly that's why it's so we're looking at um what does it mean what's the gauge to know what yes and what not you don't want someone to make a joke about you don't make it about him and that's a very good gauge to know what yes or what not so ravmas is applying that to keep it off let's say you would be the elderly father and you need a surgery and you ask yourself now can you make a surgery and son says no no no keep it off would you be happy or you want the sun to do it if you want him to do it then do it to your father if you will be a father would you wanna cause us down by your son yeah let the sun do it survive master has no problem with making a parent bleed for medical procedure basically so I think according to our Master not only it's mutta it's a mitsu keep it up hey the second reason says vimoravdimi says so he makes the comparison and this is a little of a mild approach he's not saying it's a Mitzvah but if you hit a parent for no reason he had a parent or make a parent bleed two reasons why it's perfectly motor so I think more would have ended here we would have early dismissal today finished period Pricks surgery no helic obar continues ravs had a splinter and it's typically you have to get it out he did not allow his son to take it out because maybe he'll make a bleed had a pus pimple and remember map is more so they would puncture it he didn't let his son puncture the pimple because they make it bleed so now we have a problem we have two Suarez demara says why it's perfectly Moto and to my surround that didn't allow our children to do it now we don't need a turrets to a steel we need a hamster on the camera I mean it's more basic than that where's the flow of the gamara in fact the tourism that's the shotguzari safe on mcgillah he's talking about but he says that a bazillion rebbe doesn't help just like it doesn't help on Mark of the resource and he proves from the Gamora Rob and Marbury Davina didn't allow their children to make medical procedures even though it's very Susu doesn't help so now we have a major sphere in the gamar but you can't even call it stereo it's the same Gemar so if you ask me what's that why should it be awesome even though he's doing it awesome so like I told you you're not the Bible I'll give you a Dogma DiMare has an interesting question mark says okay so your son can't take out a splint to my father because he might cause bleeding and let's say he asks his friend to do it but even our friend can't make a yet bleed it's a laugh so why could you ask someone else talking about what kind of cash is that if someone else does it and then starts to bleed the gets laugh okay but if if a son does it see that's those are key words for today this is with dealing with sugar in fact tomorrow goes Vita we know that you could take out a splinter on Shabbos if you do it carefully it's not a secretion I is no no no if you plan to take out the splinten and it starts to bleed inadvertently it's Macau but keep it off of aim is highlighting the challenge of the sugya because in the best scenario you can't reduce that the sun is Overjoyed keep it up he runs to the the urn and the plug is out summer pull out the plug so he says okay all right keep it up keep it up again I'm gonna plug the plug in and cook water on Shabbos across my shoulder right so who says keep it up so here we have two interesting ways of looking at the sukia and in the gamara go for there's an inconsistency so on a simple level and that's the way the Riff and the rush no two of them they both learned that it's takamakoikis RAV and ravmaster felt its motor but my Sarah came along and said no no no it's awesome Rob and marble Ravina they held this awesome so the way the river Rush do the same Russian that you know how to do it so according to this says the base if it's awesome to cause a parent to bleed even and you're talking a very impressive combination based on three again rambam riff and rush and here two of the three are ready hold is awesome now there could be a different way of learning which attack up if you learn the guitar it flows a little easier and that is Avada if there's no other choice and the sun has to do with the sun does it but here doing taking out a splinter is not a refuel they're gonna spend it without making bleeding bursting the pimple do it carefully you want you want to ask your son to do it why take a chance why walk on a tightrope why play around with chicken get someone else to have to splint them and if it starts to bleed the goes live and you're okay the point is that really didn't if there's no other choice it's motor let's say it's a question of surgery there's no the sun is the only one that he their parents Trust so the camera is saying that approach with Extreme Caution I mean approach with Arena they got someone else and that's the sheet of the rambam and his Husband the rambam basically sends gives over the message that I make is or any type of medical procedure if he does it even though it's Potter and will soon if you get someone else do it why not if someone else could we make his damn why you do it but if there's no one else to do it I raise the markets used the word Potter but it means motor in other words basically to do any necessary medical procedure this far I believe like I told you earlier it's not a matter of if it's a keep it up but if it could be avoided why take chances and this is basically the rambam sheet in fact the ramban and the basically is of course the entire lotion of the ramban ramban feels that even the Riff and the rush hold that if it's a choice it's pretty serious Shayla how do we pass in so the Torah and I was Simon raised by Malibu brings this and basically quotes the rambam okay that's the tour what is this so this is another challenge of gimmel has a Shyla the Shyla and all he says is it's awesome period he does he left out half of the of the tour and it sounds like hyposkins like the Riff and the rush that it's also period no exceptions you could be my cup of tea this makes sense because typically follows riff and rush and here riff and Rush hold its awesome so according to this nothing is mutton and maybe even a suffix taking out a splinter which itself is also a problem but through Amazon is very surprising you know emphatic loss in ASA by meds when there's someone else to do it if there's no one to do it in the Father's Day do whatever you have to do if there's no one else is perfectly mutta and taka I saw a number of scholarship for his skin say for them there's no Hector not for a prick and that's for an injection and certain adverse surgery whatever involves a sauce down is out of your out of the father's domain however like I told you it's interesting because he typically says here he says so it could be and that's what say that he's not arguing the Mahaba typically try to pick Allah so he lay down the law it's awesome there are more is adding to them if there's no one else to do it we all agree his mother like the sheet of their amber height it's not worthy one of the delayed in China he quotes and here he quotes he calls and doesn't make an issue sorry them is different and taka it seems that he understood that there are more is qualifying but not disagreeing with the Mahaba doesn't understand this he says how do you say that he doesn't quote the banished he does man he mentioned it briefly but he says what's wrong with saying that is awesome like riffen Rush foreign was literal but for for us ashkenazim if there's no one else to do it and the father is tired and he gives resus will soon see that always helps then it's mutta now you're wondering if indeed we hold this really when there's no one else so why why should I do it I don't give up why should I get someone else the turret says all agree to this Factor don't play around with that so if you could avoid it avoid it so it's an interesting rule number one is and that's why even though it's Mitzvah get someone else if there's no one else at least it's okay now I would be remiss in that mentioning how does it learn Ben Massachusetts didn't allow it but don't make it bleed be careful and the Sun never made a bleed so the only time it's awesome without resource but it's with resource and that's even a bigger than the mother he's saying it's in any case but La Mesa I told you the the if we saw from the shelters and the tourism say it's very shared when we have not like that but before we apply it a little more specifically I must make two points and both are you know on the on the checklist before we make them number one this entire Islam only applies to Children Sons or daughters the myerian Sanhedrin pay hey spells out that an a Nicole of course shouldn't hit a grandparent that's for sure but an animal that wants to make a medical procedure is not a shyah because only my other email and that the Sheila is say this Allah in fact the rambam says the Islam is also only for a son not foreign you have an elderly parent at home and they need occasionally whether it's a prick of blood or an ejection so for the sun to do it is but very often there's a built in nature it's called if you have an integral of age that knows how to give a make a prick you don't have to be a big doctor to know but even an injection if an annual is trained to do it so that's the building so it's if if it's needed on a regular basis or even a semi-regular basis it's worthwhile to take the oldest anical train them how to do it and they could get the injection and they can make the prick and then you avoid any child also and this interesting representative he says although the police can recommend before you make any medical procedure to a parent get a get an explicit Michelle because then besides everything else you have them in that resource works so now let's apply it Allah myself so first of all that's the cloud number one is always but but in this you know we we sit there is because the past of is that it's awesome so basically we have to approach these shots with Extreme Caution let's go in order a parent has a splinter so the truth is a splinter has a Milo and I'll tell you the Myla is positive because it's not about uh because it's not observation if you do it carefully it won't bleed so maybe it's not a matter of women necessarily because if he does cause the parent to bleed he can't say yeah I was I was saving I was saving their life I was making the surgery I was taking blood if I caused them the blood the bleeding that's that's involved with Splinter is not even the refer if you'll be more careful it wouldn't bleed so you can't say it's the reform here it's collateral damage which is so that's why it's a more serious if you do it carefully it's fine but it's like shiny it's not there before another I caused us down that's the refer the bleeding that happens from takeout splinters not through a fool so that's why approach with Extreme Caution so rule number one again an angel could do it I forgot to mention another idea would be a child-in-law let's say the elderly father has a splinter so the the compassionate devoted daughter once they got the Splinter stop ask your husband to do it your husband's relationship is a son-in-law that's not macavemon so if there's an Adam available if there's any available that would be the best cause of action if there's no one else and the parent is bizarre and they want their son or daughter to do it then do it carefully say it feel like and then hopefully it it won't bleed if it does bleed hopefully we have the original his side that Lamay Services would help if it's the F Shiba and then we had an interesting sailor where an elderly mother needed a splinter removed the daughter was willing to do it but she said in Adam now but the age is a touch you know I figure this is not my mother foreign to do it so back to square one she has the daughter the only one else that could do it there's no children around that might be a legitimate EF Shabbat I did see in the Shabbos let's say a a man has a nurse a female nurse and he has a splinter any need that he that he has so he doesn't want a nurse to touch him then he holds that's enough that the son could do it of course the best thing would be if uh you know if this could be avoided but if it's not question of a strange woman touching him he could say I don't want a strange woman and that would be the song would be now interestingly enough a serious question I believe is a parent has a cut or after a surgery whatever it is and they have to change the bandage so it's a pretty big procedure but because now it's not bleeding something by removing the band that it's also bleed so that would be a mcgoverning you know there's more than a thiefest dam that that's coming out now some Untitled it's not true but he's not making a new cut it's just the existing cut that heals partially now he's aggravating it but this is that making a new cut the issue is causing a tipas dam and again I saw the Shabbos he writes it briefly but I think it should be highlighted that sometimes changing a Band-Aid could be a serious Shiloh now especially if if it's it's curved up situation that by changing especially a fresh wound is going to start to bleed so that has to be done by someone else again if no one's around and the parents limits die here which is not often the case but this is something you have to say the question we began with believe it or not is not as simple as we would like it to be and that is kind of sun give a parent a haircut so the embassy is you know give haircuts today some of them are very very much perfectionists and they want to get the square back but that should be like you know like as good as Hammond did it when he was a baba and they they cut and they got it and they use the machine to get it you know perfect so then it might be a tipas down but our haircut machine would have a pretty sophisticated machine is it does it make a bleed should it should have bleed is a nursing home but this is one that we're showing him that that that's reprinted in the in the eyes it's similar to the dance possible and I quote this is he says coved apparently Michael sorry and this with this ain't the Mercedes Club so this moisture is again one of the valley of choices is another direct hit on the and he says but it's also troubling that he says if a son can't give a father a haircut I found a later godle this is from the earliest page 37 and all the princes they use English numbers honestly why but it's page 37 says this is talking about probably trimming the beard or shaving whatever he didn't know that I don't know but it wasn't the hair it was the second and he did not allow his son to trim his beard that's even a bigger now the MS is hair cutting in a certain sense is more of a serious Shyla because the the referral is not to make the bleed I mean the fool the need is give the man a haircut don't make complete so maybe they held even a Suffolk is a problem now that's true that if you want to point to a region an early act when it's also to give a haircut you have it and in there it says there that is that but Disciples of crime to give him a haircut he might make a kaboor the only question is that I spoke to a number of Bonham today's hair cutting machine take off the blade and the back you start you know hacking with the with the with the with the razor part of it so that that don't do but but if you use a good machine it's best to use a plastic the blade to the machine does it ever bleed attack even says in the olden days they didn't have machines they used the Eraser of course not on the beard on the hair a razor could could make a bleed and he says that the Morris of Affair is that a son gave us father haircut so obviously if you do it carefully it's not even a suffix equation now Lamesa Dominic is the hakle but be careful now of a father's sensitive skin then then that will be more curved of secretion and I sort of shaved a costly Taki says that then get someone else if it is he says this the father has he has some type of problem he's embarrassed to go to a barber he only trusts his son is embarrassed but he also the fathers want to wait in line in the barbershop maybe you want to say a few dollars so we call in time well you have to make sure that it's EF subah now another that a child has with an elderly parent that's to cut the elderly parents Nails it's hard to prepare old person to do it can a son cut the parents nails so the higher again typically it does not make it bleed so what should be the Shyla and raise it the electricity is the same in page 83 he says he allows the loudest son to cut his nails first of all Nails is less much less of a suffix than getting a haircut and I saw in the in the new print of like because really the the like she was a very prominent individual so now going to the street can you cut my nails let me take a person off the street it's a bazillion for him someone to cut his nails but his own son is okay with so it was it was an EFS okay again if someone has very sensitive nail ingrown toner might start bleeding so then you're back to you know in fact it's noteworthy the Sabbath is the swear of the Rival people make a mistake he wasn't arriving it was the swear of the Rival the balance on the Ramba and he quotes the silt this about a son making it fall on the bleed will soon see about taking out his tooth and he's even a person to scratch his father's back is awesome well I don't know what may have different backs in those days in my backs I don't know but apparently he was talking about he has sensitive skin and scratching caused them to bleed but today no one's gonna say it's also to scratch their parents back so that would be okay someone asked me I don't know what the Sheila was can he take his parents blood pressure now the truth is there's no bleeding or even internal bleeding in blood pressure now of course if you feel a little queasy when it starts to spress and it's pumping but but that's no issue you know we have to realize that doing what the parent needs is a Mitzvah when it gets to bleeding we are cautious so even though it is causing discomfort but there's always a discomfort when it's done the tayalas um a parent had a stroke and they need some very vigorous therapy now therapy is something very challenging you know a person that had a stroke you can't walk and you have to force them to walk I can't you got to do it and back and forth you know the therapist is somewhat like a you know a slave master just got to do it unless the sun could do it could the Sun be that therapist for the father so I saw this percentage could and should do it why there's no it's not because there's not there's not a car there's no Mighty damn you have to make a parent you know work hard you know but then again another moisture said this but I want to say this the holy site of therapy is no pain no gain so to make the parent have a little pain is really a lot of gain so your Cabana and you'll be a little more understanding and not as quick and current like a therapist so by all means do it but the site is really the same that I mentioned earlier there's no issue causing arguments this is bleeding according to the Riff and the rush and here is no bleeding another interesting question is a minute quoted in actually that some people got Marcus ervium hip so the question is can a son give his father not malkus the ceremonial malcosverium so the Chevrolet says if the father did an is get someone else for the mitzvah but this Urban Kipper he says it's not really malcus there's no bleeding I'm not a Brazilian but he says no maybe it is a position maybe Taka it's considered bizarre and you're giving him out because you're in the game today maybe he deserves it so he says basically the son should not give the Father the urban keeper malcus gets someone else now I was wondering this malcus is knicker it's not a Brazilian it's a manic Israel but it does add if there's no one else to do it then the son could do it to the father and it brings it right into the right and come out many rabbits that they asked they should be giving out because who did it the talmuda what's the hector must be this is not a Brazilian so if it's not charged to someone else let the sun do it exclusive way a person became from and became Memorial it's about children many years later his father came from and his father never had Mila model son he was didn't care about it but now we kiss can the son do meal on his father now this is not Starbucks this is a lot of blood but then again this is the ultimate ticket you know a person like this is a ticket so how do you look at it but the end of the day it's still a havola look at someone else if there's no one else and the father only trusts the son then there's a thought to be makeup now someone thought I meant my Shyla was if the if if someone's magaya and then his father's Maguire that's more common that the father needs Milo but that would be less of a child up because not really a problem of a son I saw talking about Tsar I couldn't I must mention this reminiscent of he has this following he says he says it's straightforward the meaning of happiness that you keep up the child awake but today it became that an older boy by Mitzi boy and above steals the athi Clayman and he's a Handler you're not getting it back until like he promised me and this is you know business is business and he calls the parents are he's not happy for that I mean the father's pretty upset but he has to be a sports he plays along with him so please put that on your calendar for error Pace I'll tell your children don't steal that now I wonder if an animal because parents the grandparents but I thought that was very nice the way he looked at it also another Point once we're talking about it waking up a parent is a terrible Affair look what domino Cena did not to wake up a parent but let's say you know the parent would want to be awoken let's say to go to the happening so says and others says waking up apparent if you could ask the mother nicely maybe wake up tati that's a better idea I always wonderful character the mother was given the job to wake up the husband and said oh yeah go wake up Tati you know let them out do it herself because again let us say you know I would love to it's much easier if you do it but keep it off I'll do it because no way secret for the wife wake up the husband the last group of questions are definitely the most challenging and that is when a parent needs a surgery or dental work or anything of a similar nature of a similar serious nature so the embassy is this is our Indian with a very pronounced urgency because we're talking about and again a surgery dental work which needs which involves bleeding to like the Riff and the rush and passes the Mahaba yeah it's awesome it's okay how do you define so one thing says if the Sun is more competent than any other doctor that's EF the parents know the sun is a top-notch doctor then the son could do any necessary surgery now we would have thought that let the parents have the token and take the second best doctor after the best act in the world having the best act in the world but I guess that's enough to justify at least according to the rambam now what's often the case is there are other good actors but a parent has confidence in their son that's their mother my son the doctor I don't judge anybody else does not is because this is not this is not a medical preference this is an emotional a psychological you know feeling that they feel more confident with the sun there are plenty of good accident and no one's admitted you know no one's denying that so this I saw the hell because they say well emotional you know needs also something you know don't forget I know is that a good Demian because that's about this by surgery but I know I understand where they why they were Michael is not convinced that's correct because if you're at the same treatment so who says you're you know the nerving is enough tomato but Lamay said we do see some place my Mako because they're too worried about anybody else let's say there is another doctor but it's a lot of tirkham so that's a good question what does mean so I saw again points out the rambam says that means that that's right there but if you have to go to a different doctor it's a big schlep maybe Taco that's considered but he says it's not not necessarily true maybe some means somebody Medina let's go fly to Chicago it's the same country you know you're not going you're not putting life in danger by going so you have to be a little you know intellectually honest is is important here but I think the big question is yes there are other doctors no problem but there's one major hillock you know the dark discharged by the dark discharge and my son the doctor you can't beat his price so is that enough of a reason I get plenty of good doctors but my son is free and doctors is a lot of money so here I'll tell you an approach that I saw the awful late one of the father surprise there's a whole whole discussion about this very Shyla and he says the following the father tells the son listen my entire Zone time for you to work you know payday let's go I wanted surgery the sun says uh but the problem you know you're a father he says do what you want you want to be from but you're gonna pay for it I'm not paying for it so the sun says but but but you know keep it off is Michelle Ben Michelle love right so who has rights you know your father says tell us on go go shopping for me since my pleasure you'll pay for it no no that's to be so let me sell off so how do you look at it so they are full of life and the guess both say that La Maison for the Sun because he doesn't have to pay for it so he so what's the choice there's no choice if I was saying it's you or someone else so so the father's out of it now it's his son's lap it's in his lap right and he could do it for free for the parent however the heart's Vineyard quotes this to the of the life he said that's wrong he says the sun has to do it I his from kite is from kite is not keep it off his from kairis is the father calls the son who lives in Flatbush I need you right away could you come over so the sun says sure but you know it's it's a I'm a little old it's not hard to walk uh you'll pay for the car service no no no no walk I don't mind I could wait so whoa so he Compares that to our case you want to be from at your own expense either get someone else we have to pay for it that's what he wants to say now explain the salmon and that same two that I mentioned he says no it's not a frim guide of his own it's a firm glass keep it off so yes I learned all this I was pretty confused but I I don't know what's the mask on you know the father wants a surgery and he puts it in the son's lab is that justifiable maybe no maybe he'll say father be more considerate and you know you can't make this unpaid for it but it does seem that if there's a major expense and the father insists either the son paying for it or a major expense then the son could do it is because at the end of the day that mitsana if it's if this could be construed as a yes we have the head at least of the Rambo now if someone will say but lamisa you talk about how could you not give up for five thousand dollars to pay for the parents surgery her son that wants to do that the question about cosmetic surgery was asked about an Issa because men don't go for cosmetic surgery but on Easter ones cosmetic surgery can Hassan the surgeon do it and his answer was I looked back I said what's Jack what's so bad so the hezba is because the Hector is we're full as neither before this purely cosmetic by Nature now just to make an aura I'm not an argument but in the gamara there are two reasons why it should be Muslim one reason is like that has to be a fool but the first reason before so maybe like the first reason should be Moto maybe healthy after both reasons but let's move on a child doing dental work for a parent again dental work often involves bleeding if there's no bleeding no Shiloh but it involves bleeding pulling a tooth Etc so this in the best scenario all agree in fact the says to to pull out a father's tooth is awesome because everybody agrees all the Greek ideas if there's no as good as the Sun or the parents feel no confidence in anybody but their son so look for ashkenazim now here's another question that I was surprised about that was asked about a parent a son doing a cleaning on the parent and he said it's us so again I imagine because the cleaning will cause bleeding but it's if an equation is going to cause bleeding but it's not ever Fuller it's basically maintenance of the teeth they look nice whatever it is so maybe he failed to be magical you have to have before besides now question about taking a blood sample that a parent has to have a blood test and there's a big you know slap to go to the to the doctor or to the hospital can a son take the blood so this is as good as how causes them which is not possible but this is not as good as the cause it's done it causes them taking blood is the reform and here this is a Prelude this is so definitely we're going to say get someone else because even our curses it is nobody else and the parents need it and they have to have a blood test they have to what's wrong with them then you can be made them it's not worse than than taking a kite a parent wants to be wants to donate blood and they don't have to go down to the hospital can the sun draw the blood so this is worse than anything we had till now because this is not very full of this for someone else and of Silverstein in the in the safer quotes he says that this should not be done by the sun he's doing for someone else but what justifies his son to do that right so in a in a wonderful safe a new safety do I do they are in do they remove it I'm sorry and see if kotlin but hey I'm talking about Simon he wonders that La Misa but if it's hard for the father to God he's gonna have to go would there be attacked to be makeup and again and for us it's a certain sense like a return is a lot of times a week fighting also parents that need a daily injection or a daily prick so the Matthias of a prick basically is a little little and it causes enough bleeding to be able to test the blood so this is at least a tipas Down also this is almost always the sun doesn't have to do it they could have a grandchild though it's no big deal in fact if there's no grandchild available he could set it up and ask the parent nicely would you mind just pressing down so the parent can make their own prick as long as it's done right you know now some parents feel queasy I should press that myself they might be scared oh no if they don't want to do it they don't want to do it but if a son is focused on halach and his parents he could be after the time get someone else make the prick or even the parent do it if for some reason it's it's yesterday now usually it's not costly it's not it's usually absolutely and it should be avoided again if you haven't if you're any cook around the house they should be trained once how to do it right not quickly do it slowly and that's that's if the parent needs an injection we call a needle a shot but it's an injection so here it's not a prick that's just a testing this is their reform but an injection they're really two different types there's one that goes into the skin which typically does not cause bleeding and one goes into the vein that causes at least like we said the internal bleeding of the black and blue so that's a serious Shyla if no one's available to do it and the parents need it then we have the remote better would be to train someone else in the house again a son-in-law or anako to do it and avoid these Silas then you have no Shiloh whatsoever the point is that this is again an unprecedented share we never gave a share about says a son that hits the father is now typically the Mahaba does not speak about because it's not it's not negative speaks and I believe mahabad used Allah to remind us of what we're talking about so it is an errands to Shyla but the son has to know what he's doing and the ick is we should do the rasana Hashem awesome says [Applause] thank you is not going anytime okay everybody say what we learned today is a new faster of it is but we did say that if there's a medical need we basically have a sugya to understand the sugare's flow first Mark says it's mutta because that's what they need and then it's their roxan and anybody says that didn't do it so somebody learned that basically La mascana it's awesome even or medical need and that seems to be the sheet of the Mahaba and Sam seems to be Michael like the sheet of the rambam that both possibly more true ideally it should be avoided because you're talking about especially if it's a Suffolk that caused bleeding which is not even part of the refuel taking out a splinter and even a report that's needed if someone else could do it so you accomplish the need and you avoided even even us ashkenazim should worry about the mahabashita it's not it's not a clinical but Lamesa is certainly a Mako based on the Rambo now although um the consensus does not help the best idea could be an anacle or a child-in-law that knows what they're doing that would be instead of the child the son or daughter doing it and getting into this Vegas taking out a splinter should be done by someone else if there's no one else and the parent is sad do it very carefully changing a Band-Aid again should be avoided because more often than not if in a fresh wound it causes new bleeding additional bleeding not necessarily A pneumaca a haircut a father a son could even father a haircut don't use a the shot pot and don't you know get a perfection in the back just do it regularly cutting Nails is even more motor unless of course there's a special condition scratching the back today is about to taking blood pressures motor therapy do it perakamine but it's better than someone else it doesn't have rahmanas it's not an Issa because the Tsar is the game Evan kipamalk is trying to get someone else Mila Father the Son to a father Mila try to get someone else still nothing on the bar mitzvah only and at the handling that causes Saturn surgery is a major shy like dental work which could be expensive but if there's an agreement that they're willing to pay the extra difference for the sun to avoid doing it if there is no alternative let's say the parents do not trust anybody else they don't have confidence or a great cause there is a tad to be makeled cleaning cosmetic surgery seemed to be a way of looking at it if it's not the refua get someone else taking a blood sample if needed for the reform if there's no one else available they could do it a just blood test blood donor should be done by someone else and a prick an injection both of them should be avoided done by someone else if there's no one else to do it [Music]