Chupa Minhagim - Rav Yakov Zev Smith

sporing 71851 8651 email.com Smith recently I spoke to a who got married and he said he made a big mistake not that the marriage was a mistake don't worry but he said was he didn't prepare for the he went through the and there's so much significance but he wasn't aware why we do this what it's supposed to be all about and I told him I'm going to I'm we'll try to learn a about the now what really to me the biggest is you know is are very important let let me be very clear are the of I always thought a tremendous we need their own home and what's what's the follow the end of he writes to someone that wanted to change hug he said if you want you stick with him and him you want to lose the BR then you do what you want you know it's a I heard this story years ago and when I learned this now I found it in the told the story that there was a and they forgot to sing so okay then was and refused to M until they sang M why because a that that's the reason a so every but especially but how do you call it so that's the beauty of today as we'll see that the is but all them just like a regular and try to find one we're going to try to clarify what exactly is the the theme or the the essence of the of the time of the and I'll give you a few choices some sound familiar some don't but I think we're going to show that all are true is this is is it is it and maybe it's and maybe it's all of it let me explain we going to try to go in order and basically go from step to step what does it mean this is the Min putting ashes on thead actually is inaccurate on his head where do you put it and the concludes and if not he doesn't see so we see the Min was that they put ashes on his head now this is a very powerful description of one of them in h but the question is now he's getting married it's not Tish why are you remembering SH now but that's exactly the point one of the important objectives of the is well have the ability to juggle the two but one thing I'll tell you in the city today the new PR I [Applause] quote was saying maybe the person doesn't have in establishing his bias is because he didn't think about and this is certainly the objective of putting on ashes it's not it's but that's the objective and the interestingly enough devotes a whole different things that we do not to fully set the table leave at one of the courses not to wear old jewelry a mik like we just saw not to play music a Terrace and and not to be overly happy during the time of g a whole and that pointed out very sadly but at least we could understand one thing we do is this Min you know it's amazing but there's a self-imposed Isa that was made a little over 150 years ago that there shouldn't be music even by one's own music by is definitely so the main reason was there was a terrible and that claim many lives but said that the real reason was if you're so close to sh how could you play music you're right there you're worrying about music but that's this is the twice this is basically the M of Dominic now some are not aner but to my knowledge today it's much more common and after hearing what the I it says I think we'll do it right on whom do you put this and as early as so it definitely was a Min that they put around the however from the G is clear you put on the a the R and quotes in both places you put on the in thees now so therefore we'll say the Min what Min is today only on the but there was a different Min and theoy in Sim one of the and says it as well that they didn't put on ashes on but they put a sort of a headband something they we wore something special ques the T that in sard they wore a headband made out of Olives just like Olive is bitter so to is the and that was worn by both and so basically we see the have a tremendous source you see how yeen live withb that there was a certain city they that they only wore black clothing because of thein and by the there was a special gown whatever clothing for the that they wore by by the but they put on so they wore the special They wor and of course they had the ashes but listen to the Min that they took the ashes after the and they ate it with eggs in the room that was their meal and in such a city he said he concluded they fasted every Monday and Thursday on go s so of course you know we are unfortunately distant from this but whatever we do at least when we do put the ashes it should have the meaning the next question which seems to be it's simple but it's not who puts on the ashes so the from the gor there's no indication says but if you look in both R and so it seems that himself put it on however in not that he puts it on himself they put it on [Music] him what's why can't he do it himself why do you need someone else to do it so look in the earliest source of the he was the one that put the ashes on the of the when he was he himself was put the ashes on the head of the our minut or the Min of most people is the it which typically is the two fathers they put the ashes onto the now you're wondering why can't he do it himself so maybe this is an expression of a doesn't do things you do it for him or maybe has a different connotation the says when there's a terrible so they made a self-imposed highness and the Mish has a whole description of a one on one of the ceremony so to speak is they put on the two leaders they put on this ashes and then everybody put ashes on themselves so everybody put it on themselves so why the you have to put on him so says a very powerful message because that the leaders and it's more embarrassing it's more of a statement when someone puts it on you if you do it yourself okay but someone puts it on you that's a very shocking powerful statement a leader needs a stronger treatment now I don't think the is getting punished but he's the he's the Mel he's the leader and we try to make a stronger message so someone else puts it on him that's probably what the hezar is it's just more of a powerful message in a time that he is the Mel at that point what do you put so says basically the Theus it says what does a mean anything that you burn and the remaining ashes is called a so if you forgot to prepare ashes it's not the end of the world take a piece of paper burn it don't don't sound the smoke alarm of course and you know that's all you need I'm waiting for them to start selling you know the special a for mik Kit like they have the 10 pieces of you know everything is to make some money but basically you don't have to have a great skill anything that's burned the ashes remains important question is where exactly do you put this ashes so some reason people think he's supposed to shmear it on his forehead so he goes down to the looking very unkempt and every picture by the he looks like he couldn't clean wash his face when he comes to the he's all dirty it's not true the says we don't put F on farhead we put fill in higher than the hairline so that's why the right thing the only thing is to put it on the head in the he says it you know a little typical he says you don't have to make him dirty you take a Little Ashes wrap it up with a tissue or in a bag and put it under his hat and it's there for the that's that's so I saw of course three first of all you don't have to smear don't smear on his farad that's connected also you could wrap it up and number three doesn't have to be visible it's on his of the so you can put it under the under under the hat and that's fine and I saw the mar also he put it under the hat that they wore in fact in seems to suggest that the minute was that after they put it on his on his head they took it off so he goes down to the clean however the he writes that's not our minut maybe it was with and we keep it on until after the the question the next question is when is this minic done so of course we think you do it before you go to the in the gar there's no mention when it's done but the from the earlier it also it seems it was done not just before the in fact rabash said the minut by him was that before the went to the B he put on the ases on the on the head of the and I would understand that From perspective because really one of the one of the k that that according to is with and have that Min that they put it on before the I think most people do it after the before you go to the the no doubt about it that the Min has to it as we see it's based on garas now the next question is interesting some waight to do this min until after the under the because really before the he's not yet married he's not a not but the is not in most places and the you know seems to recognize as a even from the from the off roof you start having a okay the I'm not so sure it's but some people when the comes to in the morning of the they skip even though really it should be the before the but you know it's a special tin he didn't have so we the tin but it's hard to say that he's not at all until after the I mean that's when the is so the I think after the before the then we do this minute is there anything said when you put the ashes on the or he puts it on so it makes sense if you want it to work you know de is says when you buy something when he speaks about this Min he says I saw a Min and it's a wonderful it's right that when the the Sham tells the let's say together the had that same also tell say okay you don't have to say on the microphone is not part of the text of the of the but whether you say it or not it has to set the tone of what really it's supposed to do it's a day of it's a day of tremendous potential and it has to be done right the next minig also an important minig is the K now the K again will see the it's a but this so much in about the quote simple meaning of a k the says that they put a and that is the obviously that's one of the themes so now we can start to understand a little bit about the K first of all K by a is not once in a lifetime but twice a year we wear K and let's see what's doing by P and apply it so the has a dual function it's and it's also says you wear white but then again by both and even there's another message and that is they say one when he would take off his K after the the he would say this year I'm taking it off after the but it comes a time we they put on a k and he doesn't take it off a very subtle message that's even that's even certainly all of the reasons apply to as well obviously with he's he's beginning to build a it's a like by that that has a NE you don't even look at it during the there's also a tremendous tremendous and that's why the to wear white clothing he also has a fresh thought he's coming in pure the and the both say so in this quote simple Min there everything but what's interesting is everything is there in this simple minut there's an interesting Chua where refused to wear a k and he said because it's a he's embarrassed now this is what the had to deal with with the beginning of Reform and conservative so he writes back what you said it's by the word is almost but he says it's a lie I heard I don't know he heard from said he heard it from one of that they they praise this Min because it's a very profound message that's the to show that they're together and then he adds also that Lisa getting married is there's a concern he might be too involved in tiis and this is to teach him to be pure in his motivation when getting married imagine what a go has that f i I can't say that's but we see reminds me said some told him he doesn't know why you go around goes around the seven times but this person that I think it's to show that is the cent of my life Pro I don't think that's what had in mind but if it helps you know think about that as well but this is again who wears a k so the EM say all these reasons apply to a don't forget as well but then again by and P some of the reasons to a woman also but it's not done and probably just like wear something white on so by the they have the white gown number got married the second time he said the war even the minute he doesn't wear not on and not on so the a one of the he says you know because he already wore it so I realize that he has to put it on by the by the and wear it with such a lasting effect it has to go the entire year what he wears by the is helping and on how is it done so you wonder what it means put on the K right he's a big boy but if we understand that one of the objectives is there so like like so that's why others put it on but then again you see again the the the depth of every Min thats a but there's a Min AA is a better word that you wear he wears a coat over the K even if it's hot weather out during the summer you wear a coat why because you can't forget that this is a moment of we have to have that balance that that mixture of the G so he has to have a k but it has to be covered it is so again the blend has to be maintained but again when you see something interesting many people have this Min many don't but those that have the Min I wonder if you know why that the left hand he doesn't put on he doesn't put on the the clothing on the left hand why not the kler should not be put on the left hand so that on a of this you don't wear that sleeve so it's a ple we we do some intense a during the now of course he doesn't go to the wearing slippers so it's not an AAS but it's somewhat to keep that blend to to remind him of the opportunity of the moment now what's interesting and again you see again the of him why taka is the Min that he doesn't put on himself and why do we see a minig that some only puts it and some say both fathers so I saw thata maybe it's not a good Simmon if the father's putting on his son know beg or not that the could do it but it's it's not the father but inter some have the minut that both put her on together so that mitigates the Sim they're putting it on together and don't worry but again what's Illuminating the who was the he writes one of giml he says the Min is to wear something of white which is something close to the K like we wear on during the A on shab and shab which presumably is of course the so he already makes this connection is not a it's an attitude that we have to be very but there has to be a tone of so the of you have to know how to juggle the to but that's what brings the the the is again they say this one said why do we wear K on PES because typically on before PES you get new clothing you don't get them dirty so you wear a k now anybody knew this such to him he wasn't saying that a k is a is a is a bib so is is and we have a certain tar on but we have to keep it a whole year you wear a k to keep the clothing clean not the physical clothing but a person's say is now that was said on PES but I'm certain that the same is true for he has a a tremendous tahara don't forget even who married as got on the day of how much how much more but the message of the keep it clean the next few hug some are very moid and some almost never heard of and both are right let me of untying things before going to the I'll say things will I'll explain why I said that word but that's not quoted the he says that it's done to avoid and interesting he brings a on the the seems to allude to the beginning of such a minic now again out of my range but basically there's a concern that might get involved and not allow the and to be together so the Min is to untie kns now exactly what kns mean so some people open all knots of the shoelaces of the tie of the GLE where the GLE wrapped in others are more make with shoes and and and the ik is any other knots buta this is why many never heard of it because again it's not quoted in the OR in even in the later so who's right the one that follows his Min of course that's the one that's right a different that and before the you empty out the pocket now I always thought the you know there's an old what's the of Stile but to me the is till now your parents paid for everything now paying and as we know more important is when a person is generous with his spouse so maybe it's practice of being happily married empty out your pockets just keep on that keeps everybody happy but obviously there's more to it he says again one of the major themes and that works very well with the k k empting out the pockets now the even in that it's not a depressing message because the PK is clear it doesn't say you don't take anything and and is eternal so maybe it's remind to make a good investment of your time of your money of your life you'll take with you what's important to you make sure you invest in all of that now the rabash and he said a to open the knots and Ain to empty the pockets a to take off the jewelry which is another soon see so again who's right both are right some have thein and some don't the Min of taking off jewelry is the same idea don't forget by the cow this is more of a minig because she doesn't have the K so this is I guess sort of to to supplement that they take off the jewelry even though that's the perfect time to wear jewelry by the but this is something to remember remember that it's not complete I always felt maybe there a different message you know a person's wearing jewelry so you think about the jewelry is Le nice under the it's such precious time I can't tell you enough how important the the moments under the the potential of it is you know my's mother established the beautiful w i once asked my's mother the BBA I said how you family she brought up a family in Seattle Washington she told me with Ultimus under the I DAV over and over good to kinder good to kinder good to and there's enough distractions under the that take away from those moments I always tell the make up the before you go to the and say I'm out of it if someone doesn't come tell whoever's in charge give it to anybody you want to make a list of alternates but under the have to be beginning to BU so maybe it's a message forget about the jewelry forget about all that externals which is is nice for the but not nice for now another very important part of the proceedings is the there are M but do we need M you know a person's heart is overflowing with with now is the time you know there's no pure time in a person's life like does he writes that the to give the is the of now the EMES even though you know who said it but it's a Min to give that if you want to see quotes from some have the I says give again there's no other time like this time of of such Destiny the is under the for parents and parents is really charting the course for the future parents in-laws it's a time that has to be cherished and if I could just suggest I'm not saying it's da but it's not the time for pictures I'm nothing against photographers but by my children's before the I told now i' like to have a little private time with my children not a time for pictures you know it just takes away it makes it into another photo app I'm not saying it's wrong if you do but the focus has to be now is the time the most precious time and don't be distracted in anything else another perfect example of is the the of going to the with now of course it's a nice minic it's again a nice photo op you're going with n but how much goes into that simple Min one he says he had a different they used to throw torches don't do that today please but they to throw fire where it says there was there was now you're probably wondering I know that what is M doing anything so listen what he says was like connected and that was connect so is saying that that the analogy of is a new appreciation in this no that's why we have the NYS okay we don't throw NYS but we have NYS the IM EMS when he put on his K and then he put on the coat over the K so he said so he was you know because that's one of the of to make it like but getting back to the the if you like page 23 he says how do you have to have two n for the and two for the KH because n times 2 250 * 2 is 500 is exactly 500 also up to 500 so from all different angles it's he says the we like n by by a bris by every happy moment how much how much so here the Le of there's a certain Entourage that goes that's the way it has to be by takes an interesting approach and explains that is if if they have shom they have the they the if there's no shom the is not there what he left with a and a that's the two n a subtle reminder to work in sh so that's why basically the the Min this quote this Min is not simple at all a few points I I I I I wanted to clarify when do you get these NS so we know we go down to the the I guess before the the parents got NS two far would use I guess the same theme that that if if they look at as the beginning of the so that their Min was it went down to the bin with the NS until when do you keep the ners so the EM is it Mak sense after to get down to the so you can put them away maybe Lo them out the N quotes with the the Al said that the minut should be to keep the nighers going until after the now most don't do that but that was his minic to keep it burning till after the I should mention that if you do want to do that minic make sure it's in a safe place you know people just put it someplace on the side of the K and the balag after the K makes it pretty dangerous so some put it out right after they go around the the the the seven times but either is I would say to get the message you I saw the once said there are three times in a person's life that they like nous by his bris by his and if they passed away he says the only time that you could take the message and put ITA by the by the bris he's too young afterwards is never too late now is the take the inspiration and put it on so when how long when you start when you end that's but all agree get the message and the next Min is another perfect example of Min and that is the cherish meaning of the breaking the glass at the end of the the actually two stories in the gamar and that shows that again every Nuance is accounted for the end of made to his son and he saw that the now Rashi early on that says means they came actually to to Kal to to terrible p p Rashi says so what did he do he took a k that was worth 400 Z and he broke it in front of them and they snapped out of it they were coming to preus oil and he had to do something now think about that how much is 400 Z you know what it is it's two so it's two supports he broke a Kay worth 400 then is another story raash made first son and the same problem they came to PR oil and he took z a glass and broke it now if you notice right away there's there are two differences in the first story he took a which the most pume was we worth 400 Z in this one he broke a glass and there's no value to it doesn't seem like it was of Great Value but what does it have to do with if you have a wild party you have to break a glass is going on the second about breaking the glass now you wonder like what's the you know if you have a wild party people give to drink and some what I talk about some drink too much so maybe you have to have such a you know shock treatment but if you have there's no what are you worrying about so maybe the message is if they had these these these terrible parties no you have to do something but why do we have to do it maybe the message is that if there's even a and there's so much to L there so much a stake we don't let that we don't let that ever happen you know the says about they made a whole Gaz if it happened once we have to protect that but really what it seems for most that this is another example of not that is going to be a wild party it's again a mindset it's juggling the the two important attitudes It's a Wonderful Sim but it has to be done properly so that's why it seems that even though for a PR oil but this is why the Min has become a the question about B discuss but the answer is obvious it's not wasted money it's well spent money to to squander an opportunity by of alah and turning it into a party is a lot more of a than 400 and that's why the can point out don't be worried about you know some a minute they took a broken glass no no take a a real glass send a message and hopefully it will be the Hy that's why is based on two stories in the G the mean Tinus the end of of Tinus and the C Sim suggest a new reason for breaking a glass and that is now I don't think he's arguing on to to says the reason is based on a gor because of of PR and he's saying once you understand that Gil is the central theme of it all it's not a one reason is is a problem avoid problems one reason is because that's I don't think it's necessarily all the reasons are true and that's why it's interesting that in both places where the only speaks about ashes there are says some don't use ashes instead they break the glass and I think most CL both are done the ashes and breaking the glass but both are are themes of Gil in all different ways but what's interesting is that that breaking the glass in a certain sense has more than ashes ashes is the meaning of breaking the glass is a gor and that would be but again and again I can't say all but both mins are observed now who breaks the glass so what is that mean of course you look at the in both stories who broke the glass the the fathers Paris is that in a problem of of prus oil it's the it's B's job to to restore Law and Order but today we understand that it's more than that it's and of course it's G that's probably why the minut was shifted that the breaks the glass that's what I believe is the change in the Min because now it has a different objective for him it's I said bring the Min and some of them mention fav that is the one that breaks it what's also to mention in thear there are two stories they broke different things like most po I should say the first story they broke and the second one they broke glass you look in the in the the Rashi in the G it's a little challenging to figure it out but after you'll see that there are two stories one was a 400 cleris and one was glass we break a glass like Tyson says from the Second Story what about the first story so that's the meaning by the you break a and it's here it could be a China whatever or porc and here it's a glass both are kept when of course do you break the glass so when he when he finish the he's fully married that's what makes sense you look at the story the two stories in the gar they did it during the suda because again that was only one purpose to to keep the the of the evening so by so good you know hopefully the the suda will be on that on that r on that on that level but since it sort of shifted it changed to a different objective it's really more for the for the that's why the Min has become it's done by after the the writes that some have the Min after AIS and I know some people have this Min some have this Min after before the the breaks the glass the problem is when it loses significance you know you'll ask the average person why is break the glass to signal for the band to stop playing which is of course a very shallow understanding of it it's the high point of so that prepares for the and doesn't fall in knows the signific of that and he always tell after right after this till now was and now was and that's really the truth he's changing dramatically from and and crying under the hopefully and daing under the and and a very serious day of all of a sudden it starts but that's the ability of a of G but I could just add that but what helps the transition is the breaking of the glass that's sort of putting a closure to to this phase of the and now you're going into the the point is G is not a it's the we have a certain we have a heart we have and we could really control our AR but this is probably the most challenging part of it going from a from a TI perhaps into a some have the Min that the before he breaks the glass he says it's probably based on like the the Taz who says that supposed to say that really the Tas going on the if you look inside about the ases but ra says that also so it's a good idea either to say it or thinking it doesn't have to be on the microphone you know little is also important but basically that's the theme of this breaking of the glass just a few details a so you uses right foot a left footed person see left handed has no bearing it a left footed person does he use his left foot so it really depends on the what does he do with every Mitzvah he holds the so by follow even a left he holds the and everything else with his right hand hand and there are more is left hand so probably the same sh would be by breaking the the glass you have to make sure that the which usually is a photographer is told beforehand that this with his left foot don't think don't start yelling at him you know let him do what he has to do again that Tres also breaks a you probably never thought of but listen to you look in that used to get a of shabas sometimes it slept and they had to get married when it was when it was a little bit shabas so they in that case are you allowed to break a glass under the that took place on chabas so I just saw a quote a very brief quote in the but it started me thinking so someone say oh you can't make a glass on chabus Aus but that's wrong the glass not only Aus the glass is T theic or or even the the Min of of a Gil of so that's not that's not a problem the problem is you're breaking a glass it's a full glass if you break a broken glass maybe EAS is it it's not like or which is an ultimate here the manying is to break something it's not like you're fixing it by by breaking it you're breaking it to break it so it's an absolute m just like some our MIT to open up a package maybe that's what meant when he said you talk that it's not so bad to break the glass on shabas what's more of an issue is is it so correct that after he breaks the glass everybody calls that masl you know you're going from breaking a glass to masl a beautiful theme consistent what we learned till now you don't end the with a you end the with or as we said if the whole Aus was was permeated with it's not a but that is the and that's the way you end the now the last phase of the you notice I left I left it out earlier but I wanted to end with this because it has a little of a guidance to the other shus is the which I'm going backwards a little bit I wanted to end with that and there again you see the meing of you the first mention of what we call which is really the the ter is so the word was by is that the of that we know of no then the was the one that was an assistant to help him but what's probably more of a is the very prominent they were the of I don't think it was a a physical interfere but that's what it says could be another we hear this the father mother they have to bring their daughter to the like like it says in the that's thein to es the to getting married so if you noticed interesting things about the zya first of all the Zoya says father and mother also it's talking about the Kal but this seems the most similar to our and he seems to find it a if she goes you're not giving it he says it's a display of has on both sides says like we know that was was and there so again every bit of the significance comes back and back to us to remind us you know how big the day is I want s a profound message you know so much of establishing is the that the couple have but he's going to the young he might go too fast he might not think of the kadha that the effect that has Onis so the parents have to be go slowly this is this is not this is so the message whether that's the reason or not but the message is there you have to have a as well some say you have to drag the child to the so everything has you know meaning but at the end of the day the there's much significance in the being the so again it's I must tell you that the and they both point out from the is not really a to the most people go to fathers to mothers say father a mother so they both say the similar concept they're talking The Zo is talking about a katana that it's the parents have to marry her off she can't go herself but who says in a typical marriage it's father and mother and the B points out to that it's a totally different context and a when you have an OV is he allowed to be a he says that's enough of he's allowed to suspend the a temporarily and he could go to so he says like the meing of most that two fathers go so it's interesting the Zoya seems to say father and mother and there are more says two fathers the truth is even from their is not because he you know he doesn't say two fathers their was talking before the parents went they had Shan they used to get shash the one that pays the most money but there was a time probably until after the ra that the sh were not parents I think we have to realize that the sh was sh so just means two men because you couldn't have a man with a strange woman but at the end of the day here we see at least a reference to both hug which meing is correct so the answer is very clear to me you follow your minut you're correct he once he and some they different hug what should he do so says if someone there is changing them don't be don't have a part in a during if that was their to go let's say father and mother and the other one goes two fathers then try to work it out he says maybe look around go B who's paying for the but make a but if someone's changing that's unacceptable and he insisted not I know many they refuse to be when was sh so both are true sh is is wrong and keeping the ining is correct the next question is difficult who when can parents not be divorced so I'm not going to do a job like deserve because the truth is it's very hard to give a CL different CL he goes yeah these questions are very very sensitive to tell a mother she she can't go Mar da down to the because she's an Al because she's expecting very sensitive but then again Min is important so I think the CL is there are many different fact why he said because he was a lot of times he writes what kind of is that I mean there's so many emotions especially dealing with I mean how careful we have to be with to tell her she can't go with her daughter to the so to make a long story short again if you want to see beautiful but basically some are concerned about a being a maybe so if it's not noticeable there's no sh and even if it is but sheing by the and so many will allow it even in that case some say maybe he not sim don't forget we make outside and and and beginning of the month s maybe lacks in s but that's also hard to understand how many got married is there something wrong with them so that's why you know it's hard to give a cloud I mean the sticky issue is when parents are divorced and both remarry and now the has two sets of parents besides in-laws so that's when the right is but again again to be careful they very very you know emot very emotional time but I should just mention that the Min was until probably the 200 300 years ago that it wasn't parents that was so if the say you can't go it's not the end of the world what's important also is make sure that to satisfy all the needs and the last most important question which is of everything is what do you do and they're a different so again this is not simple because a person has to be for his Min but what do you do when you have two people being Mo in for their Min so here we have to have a little bit and realize that sometimes the great the greatest s a person now I want to be clear you know the of what his Min was about being he said three I went like this and three I went the other way he what kind of minic is that because three wanted the two fathers I did that three wanted father mother I did that if you he was an he was very m in every Nuance of but not a Ste because what do you do if you can't go then you have the told me I of different if you're in a place have different so you do what about I'm changing my is and you don't change I'll just leave you what said once about this very sh he said people come to him and there know to do the the mother says I waited my whole life to March my son down to the and now they tell me I have to go with my daughter-in-law and the two men I can't I can't bear the pain or I car someone says I'm going to go Mar with my wife the Min for the two fathers says you know what I hear crying the Bas crying out you waited all these years to see your children married and now forar you're turning over the world as if it's a and he said let's think about it you waited to to March down thear that's that's your whole life goal to marry with your child so you you'll marry you'll dance with your daughter same sim and it's not prees if you go father and mother it's father and mother the is we look for a so the was a campaign on Thursday that was extended for the B BR building campaign B braa High School of Stalin who built a new building and have to pay off the construction expenses of thousands of girls like there a credit card machine who can come over to me after this year oh my God [Music] over here the minut get have the seek so here we having to seek him good good good okay ready just let's what we learned today so first of all I think most important there's no event in a person's life that has so much meaning like the so make sure we do a right the word event is the wrong word but there's no that has so much potential and that's why every to bring out the best of and the parents so it is a but BAS basically the Min of Ashes is two places the I warn us that some couples are not we didn't have enough of a focus here but the more we think about the A and the the Gil that brings BR into one's family the Min is today only the put only the is put on the the ases the is with different um who puts it on so either the parents the two fathers or the M some do have both but basically there's no you should not put it on his farhead that's not the right place it's under the hat so you can put in in a little wrapped ashes under the hat and keep it some say said before it's done to him like the T says the K has a few reasons all of them are true it's a beged it's it's Mal it's Tara it's G in a most unbelievable way and that's why the Min primarily is by a to wear a the where's the white gown but again it's the same concept that we're trying to blend all of these herg into one the K that is supposed to carry so make sure it's done with the right explains the whole theme of the of the and that's why you'll find besides is the meaning of of emptying the packets untying the knats taking off the jewelry certainly some of the reasons are to keep that Focus remember that the amount of ding under the is precious and Priceless giving to the children before the is a that is very very precious to make sure it's used properly the N are like M or like this the analogy to m is striking but there's also other reasons that breaking of the glass is is the G two different stories it's to prevent PR oil but more more positive it's we do the these men hug him until Yip is over he breaks the glass and that trans transitions into the the for for the past few hundred years is the parents whether it's two fathers two mothers or father and mother but the Ika is to make sure that this the greatest s is the