Ask The Rabbi - Q&A Session With Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss Shlit"a

like to welcome everyone to tonight's all the people came in person the men and the in the upstairs and all the people are joining through the phone and watching through the stream all right to mr paris for their support tonight 851-8651 or email ist yeshivanet.com i'd like to have the cover to have with us once again have a motion mayor wisely staten island for tonight's session of ask the rabbi the questions that we asked by the designated show rob shelley zeitlin so it's my covered corner of weiss for tonight's stream he doesn't drink the lemonade good evening everyone we begin with the boston and with tremendous appreciation to irregular torah for this magnificent platform of habatsus tyra with the islam around the globe gets the taste of the very best speakers that claudius well has all of us owe a big debt of gratitude to rabbi bald for uh really working on it you know you take the busiest people and you try to fit in everybody into a slot that should be good for everybody and you try that you shouldn't leave anybody out and insult anybody and also to really pick people that will uh connect with the widest islam of claudia israel it's a very big job and yahshua like to thank rabbi deutsch who always tirelessly mans the ship and all of our cameramen and uh and finally all of you wonderful people men and ladies a special shout out to my rebecca who accompanied me all the way from the catskills tonight to to give the share just arriving pretty much from the catskills special for the share and i want to thank my good friend uh sheldon zeitlin shelley zeitlin who has been my uh uh my editor for i would think already over a thousand articles i think so and uh for all of my swarm uh shelley was involved in every single one of them you're involved in passionate also yeah even impassioned judaism my first safer very heavily involved in power benching and rabbi sandhya naram and thank you for coming and asking the questions rav it's a great pleasure thank you um the first question came via an email to the ear goon what can a person do to inspire and encourage their torah learning why is there such a disinterest in opening a safer or going to a and how can this disinterest be overcome this question of why so many people find it hard to learn torah really deserves a not one share but a series you see there's a famous vote from the brisker of briskerov wondered there's a mitzvah in the torah minis watch very much your nephesh now although the passage says you're nephesh but we know that the gemara tells us it refers also to the body and although the miraculous skinner says he doesn't know why it refers to the body it says lenovo it means that you should guard your body for the benefit of the zone so the biscuit rob wonders hmm how come there are people that are not such mahmir they might even eat kalastam they're not macbeth but if they're not feeling well i am kipper and the doctor tells them to eat all of a sudden they become great macmillan no no no i'm not going to eat i am kipper i mean what gives i mean the doctor says you're risking your life obviously if you're saying you could eat i am kipper that means you're in danger of losing your life and all of a sudden he becomes a big machine so this giraffe says shot is as follows when a person is so sick that he's allowed to eat on yom kippur that means that anything goes he could do any of the available mostly in order to live the only mitzvah he has now is ibrahim to live so that's where the atari puts all of his efforts not to do it that's why the person doesn't want to do it because he hates how it puts all of his effort on that that's the only mitzvah yes in the same way the eight sahara is very selective and he's going to work harder the more important the mitzvah is to the point that we all know that the skyrim says that although the atar never procrastinates but he said i could live with abrams but with yaakov's learning it's war yeah that's war and the idea over here is is that if the sahara is going to work on anything it's that we shouldn't learn so we could expect the hardest time of the different occupations of religiosity the hardest time is going to be to open up a safe that's where the atari is going to work overdrive it's not just learning anything that has to do with shechina you see it says anything that has to do with sahara works over time in an overdrive when it comes to marriage right ishmael shalom that's why a stranger could ask you something and you'll do it easier than if your wife asks you you'll do it easy because that's gonna so the first thing it's important to realize that if you're finding it hard to learn torah and there's always an excuse why you don't want to learn and it's just that you're not in the mood and and it's not your speed okay thank you that's because the sahara really works on it that's number one number two we have to realize that the nemesis to excellent the nemesis of the eight sahara is type the most says so if you're going to learn torah then the ato is out of business the exile doesn't want to be like any of us the tahoe doesn't want to be put out of business and therefore since the atari doesn't want to be put out of business the eight sahara does not in any way shape or form want us to learn torah deliver packages with thai shabbos cross an old lady across the street do a lot of things but no not learn now there are other things first of all we must know that some people unfortunately have a bad taste of learning they have a bad taste of learning either because they didn't understand sheer and yeshiva this year was over the head and therefore they came to the wrong conclusion that torah is not for them we must know that that's impossible there is no jew that torah is not for them and that's the reason that each and every one of us learned kalatara kula bamaya now it could be that we were taught in a way that wasn't good for us many people have that another thing is is that some people hated bikinis if it was a fajr they hated being embarrassed when they didn't know the answer if it was a written beginner they weren't a good test taker and it just left a tremendously bad taste in their mouth for learning you got to gargle rabbi there's a whole world out there of learning that has nothing to do with tests and maybe just maybe lumdisha learning is not for you maybe not there's a whole world of learning that you don't have to learn londus a person could become a bucky in tanakh a person could become a bucky a mishna brewer and follow the dew shoe shiram a person could become a bucky in chess that's all you have to know when it says a person only learns what his heart desires you have to get to know what type of learning you enjoy and there's a whole world of learning that you can enjoy you have to learn it some people have a particular bent other people have a particular bent to drush other people love bikias other people love iron it's all learning so you have to find the field of learning that is good for you and by the way and when it says in the mishnah empire is it refers to your work you should pick a work that you enjoy because that's what many are going to do the major majority of their hours that they are awake but it says and and that's why he was saved from the wiles of the wife of patifa and exclusive is learning means that you should love your learning now davenport in the morning when we say rev means it should be sweet however it should be sweet in our mouths now we also have to know that we should realize that when we learn we're taking an elixir of life just like we know that a person that puffs a cigarette is very likely going to leave this world earlier than other people it's very likely that's why it's so foolish to smoke it's very likely a person will leave this world earlier there are 90 year olds that smoked all their life yeah there are there are also a lot of people on chemo without voice boxes because they smoked and just like a person that smokes is likely to leave this world earlier a person that regularly learns is likely to live longer in the amina and not only that but it is the best kind of medical insurance you see all the medical insurance that you could buy from your broker cannot ensure that you won't become sick you tell your broker listen i want an insurance [Music] i'm not interested in that paying hospitalization i want insurance that i won't have to go to the hospital i want insurance not that they're going to pay most of the generic drugs i want an insurance they want to have to take the medicine so the broker says i i don't got such an injury i never heard of such an insurance the only insurance like that is type refi [Applause] and you have to understand what this means this means that although most medicines have side effects and if you take it it's good for one thing and it's not good for something else but torah is not that uh first of all a husband that learns gets more admiration from his wife and also there's a reason why it says torah brings shalom into the home torah also is the best way to ensure that your children will learn written defective without a love because the best way to teach them is for you to learn so once again torah has many rewards a person feels but i just don't feel like sitting down and learning you're right yata is very powerful you gotta taste it you gotta get into it then you'll see that it's good then it's gonna then you're gonna get infected but we have to take that step forward we have to do it first you also want to join who learn torah you want to learn you should be in a group that's machine learning if you're in a group that's the main thing that they're making is that they're foodies and they're machine the best kind of glennovet and the best kind of wine they know they they notice subtle differences of the different merlots right and they know you want to taste a real good steak i'm talking about a real good a double snake if that's going to be your circle then you're not going to be pushed to learn but if you're in a circle that is excited about finishing massacres that's excited about torah accomplishments that's going to help now the women that are sitting here might be saying you know he's droning on about learning you know i thought it was a reason why i came tonight oh is there a reason that you came tonight just for this question alone because a woman who shows her husband that she's proud about his learning is one of the biggest ways to cause a husband to learn you know i'm so happy i married you when i see you learning like this what a great example you are for our children and grandchildren wow now remember if you go to an airport and you see there's this long line finally they lifted some of the covert restriction everybody's traveling and this long line is oh my goodness i hope i make my plane looks like it's a two-hour wait and all of a sudden somebody comes in and two airport personnel come on either side they start ushering through him through they open up little doors and boom he's straight onto the plane whoa he must be an important person diplomatic pouch wow we get to the next world you know who's the vip in the next world ashrae fortunate is the person that comes with with his talmud in his hand person has to hazard a siber i want to be a vip in the next world and the way i'm going to be a vip in the next world is tyra come on afraid come and get it boys come and get it ladies shelley wants to tell me don't forget you have other questions i know he wants to tell me that but it's okay because this is so important is there ninety thousand people in metlife stadium for any other mitzvah talmud tara connecticut coulomb you don't wanna pass through this world without digging in without stacking up there's just nothing more important thank you many times the rev mentions that the greatest pride for a man is when his wife has a smiling face what are some tips to generate happiness in one's wife the arrogant is not known for its easy questions yeah man wants to have a happy wife a happy wife is a happy life and it's true what shelley said i'll repeat it again some people think that they're successful because they drive a jaguar or the latest model lamborghini other people think because they have a house with 60 lights on the outside and 400 different types of windows right and they have their own pool in the back and a mikvah they think they've made it or they have the double windowed corner office or they have a home in the newest development in the catskills and another home in ramachamesh and they have a villa in schweitz that they've arrived right the biggest praise for a man is that walking next to him is a woman that he's causing to be happy now of course a woman herself could choose to be sad it's a husband can't do it all but there's a lot of things that a husband can do and there are a lot of husbands that take a happy woman and make them set so i think that the number one piece of advice is to learn to compliment your wife women like that they like it and you might not be able to afford a tennis bracelet at simpsons but you could definitely afford to say nice things to your wife it's interesting that this is so important that in the suva it precedes feeding her and clothing her it says on the f i care for azan vapharnaes so ikea is to cherish you show her she's cherished and then aizen is feeding her and her fanny's is clothing her so before feeding her and calling her a man says what is she complaining about i i give her all the great things and i buy her all the great stuff but she wants to be cherished he doesn't cherish me he's more interested in so many other things than me that's a failure in the suva the first thing is before a zone france is okay a woman wants to be cherished she wants to see she is very important to her husband how do you know if if if you don't call home when you're late then that's not cherishing her if you go away and you don't remember to bring her something that's not cherishing her and don't go away too often that's not cherishing her first thing that you have to do is cherish a wife it's it's interesting i was talking i don't marv last night in krula in the country became friendly with the plural forever so i told them about this question and i told them about that i'm going to talk about saying nice things so he says it's a good moment right if you're giving on the money it's ms burris bushes brokers but if you're my face i've been watching if you say nice things it's 11 bucks say nice things it's even more than giving money your wife might debate that you know you know i mean i need the money you need to give the money too that's we're not talking about money without right you say well i'll say more nice things and less money no no now we don't have to reinvent the wheel the gemara tells us women enjoy nice clothes it doesn't cut it to say you know you already have a closet full of clothing women like once in a while nice clothing it brings them you know you you don't want your wife to say you don't need a steak you had one last week women have women have simcha from shoes i there's so many shoes the ma reel says buy our new shoes every yamtiv women have simcha from shoes it's a different it's so interesting that women are made differently and they get similar from this then there's another thing about making a wife happy don't try to make your wife happy with things that would make you happy you have to learn what would make her happy and her husband says i was gonna go out to eat yet but she she's not so interested in that she's more interested to go to a very common she more interested to to shop now the truth of the matter is that that's not good a woman has to learn to enjoy spending quality time with our man and and bonding and going out to eat is a good kosher way to bond that's but even so the you have to know that if you want to really make your wife happy you have to learn what makes her happy it's a very important point another thing to do is to daven that your wife should be happy every time we say sim shalom or shalom rav you should pay that there should be peace of mind your wife should have peace of mind you should have it in mind when you say they know hashem allah came to shalom that we should go to sleep with peace and since happiness we know that bisimra is the same letters as makshava happiness is a state of mind you could have this in mind in as well this subject is a mark of how successful we are in this journey of life if your wife is unhappy then that's a very big flaw in your success as a human being you have to know that people fool themselves and think what are you there [Music] she's a fetch she's been sad all the time hashem granted us a wife that's r by that means that hashem gave us the internal equipment to make this woman happy that's the idea bashet the idea of this is that our boom you're in kind of serious that means that before we were created hashem put rabbits and wice inside that i should know how to make the woman happy and if we don't do it we're failing at one of our most important missions in life it's never too late to say you know what rabbi weiss is my error i have to work on this it's never too late well what about the same with one's husband how can a wife generate happiness in her husband okay it's good that this is split up because it's a different as they say it's a whole different bowl of a whole different ballgame you know a good example of this is a medarish in the beginning of esther abba in the beginning of esther it says gam vashtiya it doesn't say anything about the wine the crisis now matthew says a woman is more interested in the house in the home decorating than in the food a man appreciates food a wife should know that food you know there's a prosecution missionary i'll cope show him to casa love covers up for many sins good cooking also covers up many sins you know we know this says yitzchak loved asap kitsayed bef and rashi says a one shot because he cooked for yitzhak and the fact that he cooked for yitzhak it made a russian it created another women have to know and we have to teach our daughters and granddaughters that there's a power in cooking a meal lovingly for a husband it's very important in in making a good latte for a husband that's you might you might laugh laughter ishmate but if you look in mesut silva's one of the things that are divreichiba that even if a woman brings in a hundred servants she's expected to do for her husband is moise gino sakais knowing how to blend his brew is a special heba and it's a power that a woman has that's given to connect with a man now a man also he's surrounded in the world with cutthroat competitors with people that he really doesn't know what they're thinking of him or if he could trust them the one person he wants to feel confident in and this is the first accolade of the ancient sky is bhattach bale byla she i know i could counter that's why especially in tough times the ashes heil shines but i know i could count on her that's a very powerful way to make a husband happy this deserves a whole share too we got to go on fourth question came via email to the more questions yeah there are a few more let's give you 10 or 11. what does one do if they can't recall whether or not they said abraca yeah this question came in i mean it's a simple allah question i i decided to take it because it um it has it reveals a problem of course if you're not sure whether you make a broccoli you don't make a broc another broccoli because it's suffolk broccoli's locker uh unless it's sometimes different by benching and behavior because those are the rice and even by berkeley there are ways to have in mind in avaraba if you're not sure right there are ways to get around it but generally said rabbanan and we have a rule suffic raucous lahakal that you don't say over abraca again besides as the mishna brewer says there's another reason we don't say abraha because it's a sufficient doris alohumra because there's a love of lysiso of you're not allowed to take hashem's name in vain and if you already made the broccoli you're taking hashem's name in vain so it's a suffolk the rice not to say the barakah because you might be over the love of leicester that's two reasons why if we're not sure we don't make the block again if you're not sure did i say a shackle you don't make it again but what i think is important to discuss over here is the fact that as we get older many people keep on forgetting did i make an ashiyat sin did i not make an ashinatsu did i do a burning fascist hmm you know i came late did i say the beer or not because sometimes people are late they say the pickles say shock her in the car or they say the because of shaka while they're walking to shoot did i say or didn't they say there's a whole bunch of rockets they're not sure if they said or not and as we get older you know now they make things that you could attach to your key chain that tells you where your car is because you forgot where you parked your car right tonight you're going to come out of this year did i park it on avenue j avenue i have a new k avenue l east 30th 28th sometimes they find people wandering around my chakras they're still looking for that car right right so this should not happen with brothers the reason why it happens with broca's is because we say it as we're spaced out if we really say abraca we're not going to forget if we said it and that's why we have to know when you come out of the bathroom don't make the ashayatsu undergo don't make it while you're booting up your computer don't make it while you're mixing your coffee stop and make an asha yatzer and thank hashem for the kidneys and thank hashem that you're not constipated and that you don't have the diarrhea and you're not nauseous thank hashem that the stomach doesn't have any tumors and everything is passing through well thank hashem for the marvelous fact that the body does all of the uh separations without us knowing what's good for us and what's bad for us and we're amino acids are needed and we have proteins are needed and everything is done on autopilot right faculty monthly losses now if you think about it you say it and makes an impression on you're not going to forget wonder if you said an ashiyat and this is true imagine a person could be mistopic whether they said the fifteen brokers of berkeley how could he be misupped if when they said zeitgeist confused him they thanked hashem that they don't have to go to a chiropractor when they said shahazali called sarki they thanked hashem that they could pay the bills they have their full senses how can we forget that the fact that we're not sure whether we made the brackets or not that shows that our head is not in our brothers and and brachas brock is a big part of our protection remember because a hundred people were dying this week's passion you're out ticking maya give me an easy one right this is a snap first covet 19 then marone in the stolen tragedy followed by the surfside collapse what does hashem want from us how should we react yeah real easy real easy so we all know that with the close of the gemara we don't know why things happen we know that argued never gave a reason for the holocaust at the time of the mises talmida rabbi kiva then we had the hazal that were able to say covenzel is it and when josefun writes the historian that is quoted by rashi that during three or four days of the herb and bias there were about four million jews that died just in three or four days so we're told that that was because of sinners so then they had people who were able to tell us we don't have anybody that's able to tell us we just know that in times of sorrow in an ace sarah we all have to look within and say what can i do because we all know that cole yisroel are ray vimselazer we're all connected we're all brothers we're all brothers and sisters you know why we're all brothers and sisters because we all have a common parent israel well why are we brothers because we have a navi ship of shamai we all have a common parent and when they were sir by brothers and sisters we all have to do what we can to try to better the situation that's that's another question however we can also try to analyze and see if there's some kind of a common denominator to all of these tragedies now you have to put it in perspective people say wow look what's happening there's never been such a thing my father oliver shalom used to say put things in perspective in auschwitz they were killing 12 000 people a day twelve thousand people a day that's four or nine elevens in one day twelve thousand people a day and how many people a week and ninety people a month however one thing is clear and that is a common denominator of all of these disasters all of them was it not took our breath away that's what happened covet the owner of santander bank in italy was worth about four billion dollars when italy had its horror he died in a hospital which didn't allow his family to be there with his four billion dollars he died alone his daughter would write my father had four billion dollars and he died choking for lack of air which is free without the benefit of his family kovid was a lack of ear he may roam people died standing from lack of ear people under underneath the collapsing stolen was smothered alive and of course in surfside they were smothered to death reminiscent of what it says that feel of the kind goddamn shalom kibrayam the lack of air first brings to mind the mesovascular ascore is diphtheria diphtheria diphtheria is a skin growing slowly over the windpipe until it chokes a person to death and we all know that mousha says oscar comes from los angeles talking about people we're a people of torque you know we're professional talkers now if we do it right then that means we doven we learn as i said we complement our spells but if we don't use it right then we're busy schmoozing we're schmoozing about the rove we're schmoozing about the rishi we're schmoozing about our neighbor the counselors the lifeguard the head counselor the talkers the boozers and that's the ruination of mankind so we have to know that people are always talking they're even talking about how people behaved wrongly during covet they were too marketed they were not marketed they weren't coming to shore they were happening outside they weren't happening outside they were driving on a porch during the time where we should be watching about talking that's all people were doing we're talking talking talking talking and talking talking about this one that didn't do enough this one that did too much this one that's paranoid this one that's careless talking about this infectious disease doctor and that infection studies doctor and this modern rabbi and it's not modern rabbi i have to know that that's one thing and the answer against los angeles is to learn hilda any book you want because the biggest benefit of learning hilukis los angeles is that it makes it ramya adate it makes it something that you're thinking about should i be saying this should i be saying this about a family member is it proper to talk about this about the guy that i know at work but then there's something else i've never said this for robin but you notice that there's been a lot of trampling in these marouane there was trampling and stolen they were trampling in surfside people were trampled rabbi said we're living in a generation where people are trampling upon people i drive in the country now i'm a good driver the liaison hara i've driven millions of miles probably i go to a lot of shurim i go to the country i go i drive a lot i used to drive every night for 30 years from staten island to save my shoe room sometimes twice a day sometimes three times a day i drive a lot i'm driving on the 42 from south fallsburg to daven mar of lake nicholsburg because i have to i have a share at ten after eight zoom they're feeling me by the way anybody wants to join my zoomed up if you have me it's 8 10 now every night of the week mozi shop is 2 block 10 20. you go to zoom.com and you put in my id is my cell phone seven one eight nine one six thirty one hundred we'd love to have you have people joining us from all over the world it's a ten but because i do it i can't have an amin in the abnormal time so i usually dive in one place minka early at a quarter to two and i down late in the night usually either in cruel or in nickelsburg going from south forsberg to nickelsburg i'm driving the speed limit people are behind me flashing me and then honking and honking and i want to go 70. and they're honking and pushing they're almost touching my car and then they pass over a double line you do that to an older person you make them nervous they can make a mistake that's trampling on people people that make firecrackers that make noise in the middle of the night they're trampling on people's rights people that play loud music in the middle of the night and other people's bungalows are shaking that's trampling on people people that come down a residential block and if a person is going slow or they're letting somebody out in the car they start honking after 11 o'clock in the night and they're waking up who knows how many babies in elderly people and even not so elderly people people that rise early we have to be careful rabbi saying not to trample on people people that double park and lock people's cars in and then they come out and they're in a rush and they can't get out and they can't find a person because the person says what are other people doing on my planet that's trampling on people there's so many examples of this rosh falls out this year on august 8th how can we get into the proper serious mood available during the lazy days of summer yeah hello august 8th some people will go up to the mountains or to any other vacation spot new hampshire and they go for the second month of the summer their vacation is just starting and then they hear raj dash [Music] rasay says even the fish in the sea tremble right you all heard that i'm not thinking about the fish in the sea i'm thinking about myself in a swimming pool how is a person supposed to muster up the mood of din of packard at the same time have a much needed summer break and relaxation it is a challenge it is a challenge however there are advantages you see when when ella falls out in september and people get back into the grind they don't have so much time to make a husband and fish maybe during the more slow-paced days of summer of course it's not that way for many people many people say what are you talking about summer winter spring fall it's all the same to me but there are many people that the summer days are slower and when it's slower you have a chance to make a heisman fish that by the way is what we need to do in illinois in l we need to make a judgment on efforts we need to take stock and the way we take stock is we go from when we get up in the morning do i say my da'ani how do i wash my naked vaser a washing legovasaru is so important don't wash negative acid the right way it could bring depression it could cause us to forget our learning it could hurt us with the ruach tama especially a woman she handles food she handles sensitive parts of the baby when she diapers the baby and and and without with hands that are not washed correctly that rock thomas stays on the hand and she poisons her family it's very important how do i greet my wife how do i greet my husband how do i make broca's how do i put on my filling do i notice the mezuzah the summer gives us a time to to take stock the summer gives us a time to formulate new plans i said many times that you cannot win without goals you can't play baseball without home plate you can't play soccer without goals can't play hockey either or football you need to have goals so how am i going to be a better husband this year what am i one of my plans this is what the rabbinicial wants to hear the rabbinicial item he says sure you got to believe that i want to give you a good new year you want a better year sure just tell me how you're going to be better that's all i want to know how you going to be better summer will give us a chance since we're getting ready for the mood is anila dodiva dodi lee i to my beloved and my beloved to me direct proportion the way i focus on my beloved it gives us the chance maybe to take a new look at how to dive maybe when i dive in i'll do more than just say the words i'll focus on them i'll focus on them okay i'll say i'll say to them [Music] it's so good to thank you hashem i'll say it with a little feeling maggie momentum says it says hashem hashem is a consuming fire [Music] he is nourished by our fire that's the meaning of hashem hashem is nizain from our fire at the recent yashar initiative round table the rav answered a question concerning why divorce is more prevalent can you elaborate on this subject that was an interesting thing i did a round table for the joshua initiative with uh rabbi bensian twiskie and and rabbi zwiebel and it's uh it's on tour anytime.com and it's about shalom bias and it's worth listening to it was headed by ellie goldbaum so they asked the question of why the voice is more popular nowadays truth of the matter is is it's already for a long time that divorce is unfortunately almost a household word and already it's understandable that it's already generational because it's families that saw the voice and since they saw the voice the first thing a person thinks when things gets tough is i'll do like my mommy i'll do like my daddy that's unfortunate but of course the biggest reason this is again a question that deserves a whole share the biggest reason is we use crystals what we find by the gallium filters in to our society it takes a little time by the marriage is disintegrating and therefore you know hallmark discontinued the 50th anniversary card they discontinued it it doesn't it doesn't exist it's not it's not marketable i remember one of my beloved worked in uh port authority and he was celebrating his i think 40th or his parents with sarah liberty i remember 40th anniversary and they looked 40 of their numbers four there are people that married 40 years we're living in a generation that's spoiled the children had everything they needed and wanted as soon as they wanted they were on their scooter they get a school they want a motorized scooter they get a motorized and they want a segway to get a segway as soon as they can they want a car they want this kind of phone they want they want they want to get it and then when they get married and they don't get it this is no good and then this is a generation that nobody fixes things who fixes things there's no repair shots anymore you throw it away and you get the next model right the rep auto repair car shops are having a hard time because people get two year leases nobody needs to go to auto repair they got a new model every two years it's all it's all very tough on marriage um the best way to ensure that that doesn't happen to our family is to model good behavior make sure that your child knows that mommy is the most important thing in your life person in your life and make sure when the children are disrespectful they get really really a tongue lashing and they're disrespectful to your spouse make sure never to yell at your spouse in front of the children make sure to try to do things because like we know the lesson we learned from the ben ceremony let's go further at the workplace does anybody have a portable charger for a phone battery charger iphone somebody has a plug um okay go further at the workplace my secular associates are talking about a show that depicts a muncie beijiakov girl who left her from kite and married a what is your response to this tragedy my response is don't watch the show i'm not kidding you the biggest problem is is people hear that there's a show and then they think about maybe they should see why don't they know about it it sounds interesting i'm telling you that the worst the the biggest plan of the eight sahara in this show is to get a lot of hidden to watch now first of all i've read things about this i looked it up here's a woman who used to be a basiaco girl who says that every time she wears on sneer's stick of clothing she feels freedom so that means that this show is depicting a woman in on sneer stick of clothing very on sneer stick of clothing so this we could call this show unholy come come shatter might say get there might say whenever you find a protection against ever there you find holiness this show is unholy so the first thing you should know is that you should not watch it yeah it's our hopes you'll watch it and then get into watching and watch other things every generation has its challenges some generations is challenged by i think is up our generation is challenged with netflix that's our generation our generation is challenged by netflix how can we get yiddan to give up a large amount of their olam by sitting and wasting them time watching stus and even schmutz that's that's that's what we want to know it's good yeah that's the first thing the second thing is is that we should allow anyone to watch something that could water them their horror to make it almost glamorous a basayakov girl goes ahead leaves yiddish guy leaves her husband and marries a guy rabbenu geshem in maine's sat shiva for a child now although we don't do that this these days and we see the return of a lot of children off the dera when we give them the proper support and love until they return and sometimes it's only the grandchildren that return but we should never people think oh i could see it and not be affected it makes a person tell you to see it especially when it's portrayed in a glamorous way it's the worst kind of poison i'm our job is not to judge the people yeah misha lily kim but i have to tell you in the history of mankind this might go as one of the biggest killer gems in history reaching so many millions of people any more questions yeah another question came in my daughter married a fine young man who is a wonderful father and husband and is a successful actuary supports the family nicely in the night he goes to adafyomi in the morning he studies the parsha of the week before going to work however she confided in me that she carries in her heart disappointment that she doesn't have a husband who learns or teaches torah full time and is worried that her olam habba will be second rate what should i tell her this is a this is a real problem this is a real problem i've taught seminary for over 35 years once a week and there are many teachers that tell the girls that the pinnacle of your success is if you could sacrifice and have a husband who learns tyra now while it's true that if a girl could sacrifice and support her husband to learn torah we just said talmud tara can i get cool up a home that has full-time torah but it's not for everybody and that has to be taught as well because when it's not taught the casualty will be the serious girl who realized in herself that she can't support a husband she can't raise a family and be a great wife and also carry the burden of panasonic she knows she can't do it so she looked with what we call a learner earner a caveat to matara now what does it tell you tell us about that smart don't feel like a second-class citizen i wanted to be zwollen's says davishda and you have to know are you cut out to be as vulnerable and supporting the torah and being a baday orion the command shabbos when it says what is a person going to be asked at the end of the time doesn't say did you learn toilet all day the question will be kavata yi tim latoya and yes if she has a husband that doesn't have a fixed time every 12 hours to learn torah that's something to be disappointed about a workout not directly she shouldn't tell him to do it that's the best way to get him not to do it but she should figure out ways to encourage him to tell him how excited she would be if he doesn't but she shouldn't be disappointed if she has this woman she should instead know that she recognized that her sane that if she would have done it the other way perhaps she would have been a nervous wreck and caused shalom by his problems and affected negatively her children she has to be told that this was your role in life and that's why it says maisha naren sometimes it says moishnan sometimes it says mulamid shishnayam shavin they're both how could they both be the same there was no one of in the world like maisha there was no one that saw mushroom hashem paramount that's why moshe is the same letter as hashem how could it be schooling it means that aaron fulfilled his mission just like moshe albania fulfilled his mission everybody should be happy that they fulfill their mission and every person's mission is different this girl's mission was to be a great super wife and super parent to a great zvuma and that's a perfect fulfillment of her life no disappointment should be had okay my first daughter has entered the scene in my effort to vet the candidates i find myself trampling on the prohibition against lush and horror and judging people favorably what is one supposed to do in such a situation how close are we to 80 minutes this is the last question that's got it um okay the question was my first daughter has now entered the should have seen and i wanna not mine all my children are married but hashem but shelley needs a a bunch of stupid girls out there shelly shelley's ineligible ladies not girls but you hear that he's really eligible he's really good yeah and in making sure if this is the right one i seem to be over on what it says have he done as kolodam le capsules i seem to be either on talking rashin hara what's the right thing to do when it comes to shidduch shidduchin is not the time to be don le castros we're done with capsules we give people the benefit of the doubt but by marrying our daughter it's not enough to give the benefit of the death you want to know beyond the shadow of that doubt that he's a good husband there's a big difference day down the coast does not apply to shidduchim we don't gamble when it comes to shidduchi and you have to if you heard that in the dormitory sometimes this boy loses it and throws things at people you better find out about that's not lashing horror that's your duty and if you heard that he was once a credit card thief you better look into it very well if you heard that he's been seen under the covers looking at things on the phone you want to find out the same way you want to find out if the girl is very spoiled and very vain you need to find these things out and that's expected from you if you don't do it you're derelict in trying to make certain that your child doesn't fall into a boy that has any addiction your child doesn't fall into with a boy that has the wrong friends or a boy that's watching secretly movies it's something a house with movies a house without movies is a different type of house and the murray that says that there's three chains one of them is the kind of a woman to her husband that's very difficult if if he's going to be watching the movie stars on television i want to thank you again shirey torah and all of you for coming boston [Music] the great source of sponsoring your share call here against your entire at 718-851-8651 or email ist yeshivanet.com [Music] oh