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Investing in Your Marriage
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Sometimes we get so caught up trying to figure out how we’re supposed to show up for someone else. We wonder if the gesture is big enough, meaningful enough, expensive enough. But at last week’s Mikdash Me’at: Investing in Your Marriage, Rabbi Avi Landa shared a different way to look at it. More than anything, we want to feel seen and understood. A gift does not always need a big price tag to say, “You matter to me.” Sometimes the most meaningful gift is the one that shows, “I heard you. I know what matters to you. And I made time for it.” Couldn’t make it to the live session in Lakewood? Watch the replay here: https://www.torahanytime.com/lectures/458949
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Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
Maybe you're getting close to getting
engaged already. You want to get her
like a small gift, something that shows
that you're thinking about her. So, you
place on the front seat of the car, two
choices. One, a fancy bouquet of red
roses. So, when she comes to the door,
she opens it and sees these red roses.
Wow, it's so sweet, amazing.
Or, an ice-cold bottle of kiwi
strawberry Snapple.
Which one is better? The roses could
cost, I don't know, $200 or something
like that, depending on where you get
them. But, if on the first date
you were talking about what's your
favorite drink,
and she mentioned kiwi strawberry
Snapple,
and you committed that to memory,
and on the seventh, eighth, ninth,
whatever date, that's what's sitting on
the front seat, it's more meaningful
[music]
to her
than the fancy bouquet of roses.
So, it's not about how much it costs,
it's not about what other people would
look at and see as meaningful, but it's
that I'm listening, I'm paying
attention.
And by the way, to me it's not very
meaningful, it's not geshmack, I don't
want to sip, no thank you.
But, for you, it's meaningful, and it
shows that I'm listening. So, that can
often be the best way to give over
uh our feelings [music]
towards the other one, to really think
about things from their perspective.