Introduction to Tikun Hamidot (Refinement of character) Part 1 - By Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] Heat. Heat. [Music] First, I didn't get a chance yet cuz I didn't see you to thank you for the beautiful gift that you sent maybe for Pesak. So, thank you very much. I appreciate the appreciation. So we only have a few classes left. I think we have another five or six till the end of May. Right. So we talked about before PES about the concept that is called tikun. I explained that the student of the chairs over here I'll rewind just two minutes. I'll rewind. Sorry. So you can also follow. So before pes we talked about the concept that is called tikunid working on my attributes or refining myself. I mentioned that the students of that happens to be today is that he says that to mitzvah are a must you have to do to mitzvah. have to follow the Torah. And that's like air and food to our soul. The same way that you do not deprive your body from air and from food. You cannot deprive your soul from Torah and mitzvah. That's a that's a given. All the Jews are equal. We all have to do the same thing. There's no discounts. There's no one is better than the other. One has to do more. The only time that we find that there there are types of Jews that are that they have to do more are only priests that they have much more mitzvot. That's the only difference. But in the majority of the Torah, all the Jews are equal. We all have to do the same. So Torah and mitzvah are their food and the air to our soul. But the main thing that we came down to this world to do is to refine our midot. So in the next couple classes I want to talk about first of all today what we'll go through is in general the idea what does it mean to to fix our midot to work on our attributes to refine ourselves in the next couple classes till we're done I will try to go through some of the major midot that we have to deal with because the bottom line is learning Torah is beautiful and to learning insights of the mysticism of the Torah nice. But if I don't get tools to life with what I learn, then besides being nice and besides having a mitzvah of learning Torah, I don't get anything out of it. And the point is that our sages teach us the action is the main part that if I learn 10 hours a day Torah and I don't bring it into action, then I'm I'm I'm missing the point. And if I I I live throughout my life in this world and I didn't do what I was supposed to do in this world that I I basically missed the opportunity. So again, Torah and mitzvah are the basics. This is the road map. This is the the instructions. The Torah comes from the word in Hebrew to teach. So the Torah came to teach me. Most people, they oppose the Torah because the Torah comes to teach me things that I'm not happy to hear about because it's not comfortable to me. I want to be comfortable and I want to do what I want because that's my will. And the Torah in many cases comes and tells you, I'm very sorry that this is your will and this is what you want, but it's not the right way. The Torah is the manual to this world. And if I want to go through this world and not to have to come back here to fix what I damaged in a previous reincarnation or to at least complete what I'm supposed to do in this world. Now explains that all of us are reincarnations. We all come down here many times and we all have to come down here as many as times that it takes to complete 613 mitzvot in thought, speech and action. You can do it in one time, you can do it in 50 times. The reality is that we only know about one person that did it in one shot and that's David Melik, King David that he was able to do all 63 mitzvot in thought, speech and action in one shot and there's no reincarnations of David. There are different cababala books that differentim were actually pointing out who's who's reincarnation and we know that David there's no reincarnation. He was able to come down one shot and finish it. So the point is that I want to I don't want to come back here anymore. I want to complete what I came to do down in this world and the only way to complete it is by going to the manual seeing after how I have to to conduct my my life in this world. And again in many cases the instructions of the manual are not going to be exactly how I want. This is where I meet the roadblock. And if I'm able to go over this roadblock, then I'm able to receive from the manual from the ultimate truth. The only truth is out there, all the theories, all the teachings, all the things that people come up with because the only thing that is not from human being is the Torah. Everything else was brought down from a human being. The Torah is the only divine book that we have. And for thousands of years, thousands if not tens of thousands, if not millions, tried to prove that the Torah is also not divine. And nobody was able to prove that the Torah is not divine. Torah is the only thing that came from from Hashem. The fact that Mosher Rabenu wrote it, that's a whole different thing. And the fact that later on came the sages and the and the oral Torah and everybody contradicts all that, it doesn't say like this in the Torah. That's a whole different discussion. But the point is that the only truth that is out there is the Torah. And if I want to be successful in this life that it's only if I follow the instructions of the Torah because the Torah knows exactly what's good for me. And exactly like a little kid that doesn't have any doubt, any knowledge, any comprehension. And a little kid will come to me with a w with a knife and a normal father will take the knife away because the father knows that the knife the kid can hurt himself or hurt somebody else or do damage. The kid doesn't understand that for the kid. The knife is a toy. The kid is not happy when the father takes the knife away. The relationship here is that the father knows and understands and sees something more clear and the kid just sees a little toy. And for the kid, the father now is the worst father in the world because he took away his toy. And the way to see it is in a relationship between a parent and a child because a child doesn't understand what's good for them. Even when they become a little bit more mature and they become already teenagers, they still think that they know what's good for them. But the parents, I'm talking about normal parents at this in this example, they look down and they see no this is not the good thing and I know because I already been through it or I'm much more mature. We know that that we only get the level of what's called that when we reach 20. So till 20 are are we're we're functioning with missing one element and the element is called da da is basically the knowledge the the ability to see things and to understand things the right way. If you're looking at the structure of the first that we count from the of the which are so the first is this is the wisdom the thought behind the concept but it's just an just a point it's not dissected it's not understood it's not clear comes the of and starts dissecting it starts breaking it starts explaining it but then comes the oft and explaining explaining it in a way that I can actually understand what it means. So we as human beings we only get the level of that when we reach the age of 20. Unfortunately some people they don't even near the age of 50 don't even reach the level of that. The point is that when I try to go with my instincts or with my knowledge I'll never get anywhere. You see how in previous shim I always repeat that our main problem that will stop me from going anywhere is my ego. If I let my ego drive me, I will never get anywhere. My life will be a disaster and I'm not going to have any success in anything. Not in business, not in marriage, not in finding my other half, not in in educating my kids, not in anything. People who have a strong ego are bound to fail in everything. Needless to say about that, Hashem, Hashem and a human being that has ego cannot dwell together. Hashem says if there's another mitud, another existence, but me, I cannot be there. So a person who has an ego will never be successful in anything. And the ego can be big and the ego can be small. Doesn't matter. Ego is what's called yes that I am something. The Torah comes to teach us you want to be great, humble yourself, diminish yourself, make yourself a nothing. That's why Mosher Rabenu was the biggest prophet in history because he was the most humble person in history. He was able to humble himself to a point that I don't have a will that my will is the the supreme will of the and if I work on myself that I humble myself to a point that I'm only in the level of what's called a meabel a receiver I only receive then I become the ultimate giver if you look in the structure of the spiritual worlds we know of four spiritual worlds there are endless amount of spiritual worlds. But in general there are are broken into four spiritual worlds. The world of bri and besides these four worlds there are numerous and endless amount of other worlds. But if you look at the structure of these four worlds, each one of them are built from 10 spir which the highest sphere in each world is called keter and the lowest sphere in each world is called malut. Seemingly it seems like Mhm. will be the lowest spir because in the hierarchy of the spir it's always the lowest but the mut of the world that is above the world below is the higher sp because now is above ket. So ultimately mut which is the sphere that is only a sphere of receiving of mal has nothing from itself. It can only receive from the spir above it. So ultimately one might say Malut is the lowest sphere in the structure but when you're looking at it mut is the highest sphere because it's the sphere above from the world below and excuse me as that's what I was about to say that in the spiritual structure everything is a cycle. So even if you're looking one might say that in hierarchy the world of the is the lowest but when it says which means that the like a circle like a ring the end is connected to the beginning because ultimately the lowest is this world is the actual doing which in essence a person that does mitzvot he reaches the highest highest level because by doing a physical mitzvah in the world of I actually bring down to the world the ultimate the highest level of godly revelation which is called this is not it's a circle it's a cycle so even yeah might seem in the lowest world the lowest there's a that says one hour of chuva and good deeds in this world is greater than the entire world to come why because when I do mitzvah in this world, a physical mitzvah, the spiritual act that I cause is I bring down to this world the highest level of godly revelation and I become united with it. A mitzvah comes from the word not necessarily commandment rather is a unity. The ultimate unity with the highest level of godly revelation comes only from a physical mitzvah. I can sit and learn Torah all day long. I will never reach to that level. There were very few people in history like they were able with their thoughts and mouth reach to the level of was sitting in a cave. He didn't have fillin. He didn't have lulav. He didn't have suka. He didn't have all these physical mit. He was able to do the same the same effect with his thoughts. But we're not We need the physical the physical mitzvot. But the highest level one can reach is through a physical mitzvah. This is where it comes back to where I said before that the Torah sometimes will contradict my opinion because a person will say, "Why do I need a a a leather strap to tie on my hand for 45 minutes to get connected to God? I'll just be a nice person." So, it doesn't work like that. Hashem gave us physical things to connect with him. Are these sorry I was wondering are these worlds you're talking about are they what do you mean by the world? Okay I'm going to answer you at the end of the class because it has nothing to do with the topic but remember the question and before we leave answer to ask it again I'll answer you. So to to to come back back back to our topic ultimately we all came down here to fix our midot our attributes. A lot of people think that my is damaged. People say I have to fix my nish my soul is perfect. There's no problem with my my soul which we read every morning my my soul is pure. My soul is perfect. It does not have any damage. There's no such a thing. The only thing that we Yeah, that's that's it doesn't damage the way to explain it the easiest way is that I now I have a shirt then I have a tit then I have another shirt then I have a jacket I have a pants I have a lot of garments on me if you throw at me now a bucket full of dirt then my garments will get dirty but me my essence will not get dirty I take off off my garments I wash them I put them back on Now I'm clean again. But the essence, the nama does not get hurt. It can be like you saying it just puts dirt on it. So something as simple as going to the mikv removes it. But the essence of the atm of the does not get damaged. The person can do the worst sins. What it will affect would be the nephesh and the the nama can get dirty but what gets dirty is the levushim which are the garments. Excuse me. If a person does chuva in this world, he removes this these tuma this impurity this dirt. If he doesn't, he goes to the heavenly dry cleaner and they wash it off. So a person can be 70% good and 30% not so good and the heavenly court will decide that he's going with to gum. Gom is a a washing machine and the gayom the process will wash off all the dirt and then the nama is clean and can go into ganet. The person still gets ganed, he did 70% he will still have to come down and complete what he's missing but the 70% that he did the piece of the nisha is sitting in ganed when we come down here we don't come our nishama our soul down here is not 100% here could very much be that only 20% of yishama is right now operating in this world and 80% is sitting in ganed and waiting explains in shahil gulim that every gilgul every reincarnation that we come whatever we fixed sits in Ganedan. So now I can have 20% of my in Ganedan, 40% of my nephesh in Ganedan, 25% of my inedan, and the rest is here. Whatever I fixed, that's it. It's fixed. It's up there. So I'm not able even to damage it. A lot of people think that whatever good that I did is messed up. If I did something bad, it's not. It's not true. Whatever is good that I did, that's already sitting in Ganedan and waiting. Then I come down to do the rest. So we're not going to get into reincarnations and shulim. But if you're interested to know about it, open that book. It's not so easy to understand because the the the the language is not so easy. But if that's interesting you, then read it. It has unbelievable depth explaining about the whole structure of reincarnations and why we come down here and all that stuff. But the thing is that the essence of our soul cannot be damaged. What will be damaged will be the and the neph which which are the lower levels of the nish. Yes, that can be damaged and all the garments that my soul is is dressed in it. But in essence, my nishama is 100% pure. It's perfect. The nishama is like a hand getting dressed into a puppet. And if you move now your your finger like this and the puppet will move its hand and then you move this finger and then the puppet will move the other hand. And then you just move your hand and the whole puppet makes a show. The shama gets dressed into the into the nephesh into garments and the nama operates and moves in this world. Once the nama pulls out that's it. Nothing is left. That's why we know according to kabala that when a person before he dies 30 days before the death then every day one piece of the leaves the body and the day that the person dies the nama already left the body. A few hours before the person dies, the ru leaves the body. Then when it's time to die, the only the thing that is left in the body is what's called nephesh. And right, right when the nama and the s and the they leave the body, the nephesh doesn't have any protection. So it gets goes into the heart, locks itself into the heart, then comes death. The heart stops. So what stays in the body the last couple hours is only the ne then the shama and the they leave. Ultimately, we're working on the level of nephesh. When we are born, the level of our soul that we received for free is nephesh. And if I lived my life the right way, then in 13 for for a boy and 12 for a girl, I get and if I lived my life the right way from bat mitzvah and bar mitzvah, when I say leave my life the right way, I don't have any sins and I do to mitzvah, then at the age of 20, I will get my and to reach to the level of getting the nisha is not so easy. A lot of people they don't reach to that level because they're doing a lot of but they're also doing a lot of bad things. So they can't elevate themselves. Of course it's no doubt the level of nish. [Music] I don't want to really sidetrack from our topic. I'm I'm just giving you different examples. This is the level of nish. This is what's called it's not necessarily the actual nish. You have to understand I'll give you an example. Imagine now you have a telescope or binoculars and it can only enlarge a thousand times. So when I look at it I can see from here to haron I can see very good. But if I want to look at the kinet I'll never reach. So then I add an extension. Now I can see 10,000 times greater. So the same binoculars with an extension can see much further. Then if I want to see even more to that, I want to see to the moon. Then I add another extension that will enlarge it 100,000 times and then I see even closer. So this is levels in my tool that allows me to see further away. It's not exactly like that with an isama, but every time I get a higher level, I'm able to reach to a much higher level. So if I want to reach to a high level in the spiritual world, I need a greater tool, a greater capacity to in order to to elevate me to a higher level. So this is what's called the level of the not the itself. This is much more complicated again going back to but it's not our topic. So going back to our topic is mainly what I came down to do in this world is to correct my midot is to work on my midot my attributes the attributes can be anger can be patience can be tolerance can be can be laziness all these things now the good things I don't have to work on because I already I'm born with it this is what's called character offi in Hebrew character is offie and midot are attributes so I'm born with what's called offie with my character I can be very positive person I can be very generous I can be stingy I'm born with my character my character I cannot change that's no such a thing and a person who tries to change his character is going against the the the the structure how Hashem created the world. Hashem created the world in a certain way. We just read last par about the concept of kilim that you're not allowed to mix certain things. You're not allowed to mix wool and linen. We're not allowed to mix different fruit together when we plant them. We're not allowed to mix animals together. So this is called kilim. The point of kilim the the explanation behind kilim is that hashem created the world a certain way and if I'm now taking a donkey and a horse and I put them together I'm trying to shift the mjit how created the world if hashem wanted to create another species that is half donkey half horse he would create it that's why I'm not allowed to do it there's mystical reasons behind each and everything but the point is that there are laws in the Torah that I'm to mix certain things. This is called kim. When I try to to change my character in a very refined way, I'm going against what hashem wanted to create initially. That's why I'm not allowed to change my character. You see that in many p in many times, excuse me, a person who becomes religious about 20 30 years he lives a certain way, then he becomes religious and he thinks he has to change his character. And it's the the worst thing to do because you you cannot change your character. And if you're going against your character, you're only going to meet a wall because it's not you. You can't be not you. What's an example for a difference between a character trait and we're going to get to that. We're going to get to exactly how what's the difference between a character and an attribute. Midi, you all speak Hebrew, so it's important that you know in your in in Hebrew. Mida is an attribute. in Hebrew, since you all know Hebrew, mida can also be a measurement. Ali is a character. That's his character. That's it. You can't change the character. And it's important for you to know because very soon when you're going to start looking for a husband. A lot of people look at another half and they think they can refine the other half or change the other half. No, that's his character. Live with it. And a lot of people think that they will meet their other half and when they see things that they don't like, first of all, they make an ex. I don't want to see this guy anymore. Which is the biggest mistake because first of all, if your other half comes with 30% of things that you're not going to like, that's your other half. Deal with it. You're not going to be able to change it. And the only way to know how to deal with it is to look in the mirror and to say, "I'm not that great either." The point is that we cannot change a character but we can take a mida and work on the character. So if my have if I'm in my character is to be very generous. So generosity is a very good thing but that sometimes generosity generosity is not a good thing because if I going to do something bad with my generosity the generosity has to be controlled. How would it be controlled? With one of my midot. Now if my character of generosity I want to apply to something good then I would take the attribute the mida of kindness and I will use the mida. Now take the the explanation of measurement and we'll add a lot of into the attribute of generosity and I will empower it. So when it comes for me to help another person, I will help him even more. It's going to be with with with no but I'm doing it for a mitzvah. But if I want to use my generosity into a negative thing uses uses usage of drugs or alcohol. I'm very generous. I want to give a lot of it but I'm using it to a total different thing to abandon. Here has to come the mid of severity and to stop it to pull me back. You can't give too much right here. So almost in any of in any character that you have, you can do a lot of it. You can do less of it. You have it has to be controlled. How does a person know what the character is? That's the whole different thing. That's what we're going to do in the next couple classes. We're going to go through one. Now I'm kind of giving you a very general overview of the concept because if you really dissect it everything in this world originates from the 10 spir the highest is called keter keter is a crown. If you're looking at the structure of the and you're removing the which are the intellect and then you have the before is what's called the and then is the lowest they all correspond to the name of is bina is all six midotin are corresponding to vav And the is the last H. The H the lowest H inab is called and the first H the is called. Our job in this world is to constantly connect the lowest H to the highest H to the H the last of the letter of the name of Y to the first letter of Y. That's why we have two mothers Leia and Rael. Ultimately they are connected together. Our job in this world is to work on our midot which are called yakov. In the cabalistic terminology it's called zun. I have to do a yehood a connection between all the midot. By me doing that I'm able to elevate the bina. That's basically what I need to do in this world. Now ultimately be above these spir is the sphere of keter. Keter is a crown. A crown is something that surrounds like a crown that you put on your head. If you're looking at the structure of the spir, we do not count that in the spir. So it starts by as the intellect as the mo and then the spir keter has two levels into it. Has what's called the external part of the keter and keter the internal part of the keter. I explained to you in one of the classes that there are 36 sins in the Torah that are called karet. That the effect that when a person does it, it chops off the is called. Two mitzvah are positive circumcision and pes the sacrifice of pes and 34 are negative. The ones that relate to us is Shabbat, desecrating Shabbat, Yumipur, eating, driving, working, eating, all the forbidden relations, and all the rest of the the really have nothing to do with that is it has to do with eating meat from the sacrifices, doing witchcraft, stuff like that. If a person does one of these sins, a person now goes and desecrates Shabbat knowingly what happens is that all nine spir get chopped off like a rope. Our soul is connected to God with a spiritual rope. The same way that a spir a physical rope is built from many many strings, the spiritual rope is built from 620 strings corresponding to 613 mitzvah from the Torah and seven mitzvah from the sages. If I serve Hashem in completion, all my strings are intact. If I start cutting these strings by doing sins or not doing mitzvot, then my rope becomes thinner and thinner. If I I do one of these 36 sins, I cut the entire rope. And then I have to do chuva. And if I don't do chuva, then I in in the status of ket I'm chopped off. No Wi-Fi, no data. I have a phone, but I can't connect to the data. I don't know the password for the Wi-Fi. Excuse me. Till I do the says a person that did a sin of it's a walking dead walking dead body. Then left. We are looking at people in the street, dead bodies just walking around. They're functioning. The reason is saying that the reason why they're able to function for 40, 50 years is because there's an impression. He calls it comes from the from the from the word. You take now a stamp and you press it hard. It leaves an impression. So there's an impression in the body from the nishama. So the person can still live for 40, 50 years. But the nama left there's no nishama till he does cha and to do cha for karet is not an easy thing because you have to take two entities and connect them back together. The advantage that we have is that the ket only affects the first nine spir the sphere that it does not affect is keter. Amazingly we see that the same letters of karet and keter are the same letters. This is only because made a deal with told him you take nine you leave me one that the person can do. So a person a person that was born religious can fail in forbidden relations to us. If you do it by mistake there's no effect of but if you do it knowingly you know then person has to do serious cha the reason I'm telling you that is because this everything has a shish what's called a root it starts somewhere the all the root of all the is everything starts in the kettle and all the rest of the mish they descend sent down from that. So ultimately when I want to know how to work in this world, I have to go to the source. If I know how the source is built and what I have to derive from this source, then I'll know how to work in this world. Now the the the keter it has three main characters. The first and most important and the highest level is called will. The second one is called thought and the third one is called reges an emotion. Everything is born from the level of what's called my will. Why do I do anything? Because I want it. Why do I eat? Because I want to eat. Because I'm hungry. There's always there's going to be always a chain of reactions. Why does a person go to a college to learn to be a lawyer? Because he wants to have a good job. Why does he want to have a good job? Cuz he wants to have money. Why does he want to have money? Cuz he wants a nice car. Why does he wants a nice car? Because it's much more comfortable than a non nice car. And he wants everybody to look at him and to see that he has a nice car, etc., etc. There's always another over a over a desire a will over and over. So the thing is that if I want to know exactly what's the original, I have to start peeling off layers. This is what's called toalot to reveal the ultimate. Now if you now look at your basic behavior and you do not analyze it then most likely your your desire will come from the wrong place. That's where we start running into issues in our life. Why why am I going to run into issues in my life? Because my vessel is empty because I'm not pulling into it. the right the right will everything in this world has a vessel and there's a light the vessel holds the light and the light comes to fulfill to fill the vessel if I have now a cup and I'm very thirsty and I have an empty cup I have I can pour water in it and the cup will hold my water but if I don't have a vessel and you want to give me water I cannot hold it it will spill if my vessel is broken then the water will run away. If you want to give me a big quantity and my vessel is very small what you want to give me will not fit in. If I have a very big vessel and I put something very small in it then I'm not it's not full. You can see all these examples from how kids behave. Give a kid now a big cup and give his brother a small cup. Pour to their cups the exact same quantity of the juice. The kid that has the big cup that seems that he got less will complain, "Hey, I got less." No, you got the exact same measurement. No, look, my cup is empty. His cup is full. Yeah, but the measurement of what I poured in is exactly the same. So, when my vessel is not full, I feel what's called a something's missing. I want to get to a point that my vessel is complete. So, sometimes I can build a very big vessel, but it's empty. there's nothing in it. This is what happens to people. Unfortunately, one of the biggest sins for us as Jews and non-Jews is idol worship. Now, idol worship, people think that is bowing to a statue. That's not yet. That's also idol worship. That's what they did 20,000 years ago. But in our generation, there's also many different forms of idol worship. Why is it called in Hebrew aazar? idol worship. It's not idol worship because if you want to translate it, it will be working an idol. Idol worship. But in Hebrew, it's called a z comes from the word foreign. Aashali. It's foreign to me. It's not my avod. And in our generation, there's many types of forms of a idol worship. A person can be can can can idol worship his car and wash it all day long, his job, anything. Unfortunately, and we're not going to get to that in in in our in this sh in one of the shim. We're going to talk about idol worship because a lot of people in our generation can like this fail in our idol worship. Why? because they they take a certain reality and distort it and think that that is the reality which is totally the that's the the ultimate will come and distort the reality to a point that I believe that this is truth and I live in a world of and the result will be that it will take me away from hem and the result will be what's called a idol worship now what happens in our generation I'll give you one example is a lot of People do all sorts of meditations. They go to India. They go to the far east and they connect to all sorts of sources of impurity and they meditate on that on the surface on what's called the external part. They get some type of a a pleasure because they are bringing something into the world. But since they're not building the right vessel, then there's not a good relationship. So ultimately they have the ultimate emptiness. And one example, I don't know if you know a lot of people when they meditate, when they do meditation, they chant a certain word. This word is one of Hashem's names. Alif they say, you know what I'm talking about. When they meditate, better that you don't know, don't know. But there's one there's one form of meditation that they take Hashem's name al and they meditate on it and they chant it. I don't want to repeat it because I don't want that's going to be a relation to it. But they say the name and they meditate on the name. Now in essence, yeah, they're bringing they're they're connecting to a to a real godly power. Yeah. But they're tapping into a spiritual real godly light, but they're bringing it down with the wrong vessel. So what happens is their vessel inflates and inflates and inflates. They have a huge vessel now cuz they're drawing down this godly light. But since they're not practicing Torah and mitzvah, there's no light at all. So they end up results with a massive vessel completely empty. What if they do practice? Excuse me. What if they are practicing? Then they start filling the vessel with light. But then I'm saying like would chanting that be valid? Well, the thing is that when a person because this is the but this is the ultimate she that's what I want to talk about in a minute that we a lot of time takes something that it seems to us like it's the truth because it does do certain result like you're saying it relaxes them but if it's coming from the wrong source the external part will feel the five minute relaxation but the end result will be emptiness will be sadness will be a lack of something. So when a person has a very big vessel and no light, the result will be depression, sadness, emptiness, lack of of of of like a point in this world, despair. That's the problem with most of the in this world because on the external part, it gives them the five minute relaxation. But this is the ultimate sheen, the ultimate lie. It's a drug. What does a drug do? A person has now a headache. What does most people do? They take a pill. Then the headache disappears. What do they really do? They just numb the nerve system. That's it. So now they don't feel the pain. But the pain inside the symptom is still in there. The pain is inside. But they covered the pain now with a pill. So for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, an hour, 2 hours, there's no pain because the nerve is numb. This is Advil. This is motin. All these things, they don't do anything to the symptom. Why do you have a headache? Your body is telling you something's wrong. So instead of me going and taking a pill to numb the problem, sorry, the other way around. Instead of me dealing with the symptom, then I take a pill and I numb the problem and I think that I solved the problem. So for 10 minutes or for an hour, for two hours, the pain is gone. So it's true the pill worked but in essence what happened I just numbed the pain and I didn't deal with the symptoms and if I have a headache means that either I'm dehydrated maybe I'm I didn't eat maybe I'm lacking sleep the body is telling me something's wrong so all these things are like plasters so yeah person will meditate for a whole hour it will relax them they'll feel content a little bit they'll feel a little bit focused but that will only work for a certain amount of time and then it would wear off and when it wears off the pain is tripled because there's no clean to hold it. There's no vessel to hold now this light that they brought down to this world. So the thing is that many people in our generation they fail in idol worship because they do a certain thing and they think it's coming from the right place but it's actually not coming from the right place. It's coming from the from the worst place. Do we have to finish exactly 12? There's another class. Okay, we'll go a little bit more because we started a little bit later. The point is that half of what I do comes from a raton from a desire that's coming from the wrong place. I see things something they're completely wrong way. My point is right now to to to find to reach to the source and find what's the really the desire the the will that needs to that I need to operate by that need to needs to motivate me. Now, we're going to talk about in in the next in one of the next classes. How do I get to it? Because the only way to get to it is through through praying and through something that is called and is when a person locks himself. Doesn't matter where. It can be in a forest, can be in a room means to to isolate the nephesh to turn the phone off, turn the music off, turn everything off, turn all the switches off in the brain and to concentrate on one point and that point is to pull out the ultimate will of Hashem. We'll talk about that too. The point is to understand is that I have to first go into the source because first I have a I have a what's called a desire a will that will start developing into a thought. That's why we have so many thoughts. Now if you ever once meditate on your thoughts if you now stop close the doors close the lights close your phone and start meditating on your thoughts. Don't try to move yourself. Just sit and watch your thoughts. you will see that you have a uh chaos in your mind. Just sit and and disconnect yourself from the reality for once for 10 minutes and just look at your thoughts like a movie. Just close your eyes and look at your thoughts cuz thoughts constantly come into your mind constantly. You can't control your thoughts. And if you really meditate on that, you will see within 5 10 minutes is chaos in your mind. And half of your thoughts are insane insane thoughts. what you would want to s to do to something to somebody what you would want to say to somebody I want to do this I want to do that our thoughts are chaos now you want to start making order in these thoughts so the thing is that the will it brings down a thought and from the thought will come what's called an emotion regish anger love happiness all the emot emotions and that's what we're going through. We are being controlled by our emotions. Now, if I go to the source, I cannot deal with emotions. If a person is sad, you cannot talk to the sadness. You cannot calm the person down by talking to the to the person to change his sadness. If a person is extremely upset right now, you cannot reason with the person. You cannot talk to the person. He's upset right now. Why? Because emotions are out of control. You can't control the emotion. you have to go to the source. So ultimately we want to learn and and to take all the tools how to deal in this world because if I my emotions are out of control then my life is going to be a chaos. It's going to be disaster and the reality is that we all dealing with our emotions and the emotions we blame it on everybody. My parents they're annoying me. I'm annoyed because my parents annoy me or my wife or my husband. But we tend to blame everybody for the problems that I'm dealing with. And in most cases, all the negative emotions, we cannot deal with them. We have to go to the source to change and fix the source in order for my emotion to be correct and right. Because ultimately, ultimately, what do we all want? We all want the same thing. We want to be happy. We want to be relaxed. We want to be content. We want to be fulfilled, satisfied. That's what we all go after. So, we run after certain things to get to this level of happiness. So, some people think that if they'll have a lot of money, they'll get a nicer car and a nicer house and more clothes, and that's what's going to make them happy. So, they go and run after a job. They hate their job, but they know that the job will provide them money, that will provide that newer and nicer car, etc., ultimate ultimately will come to what they want is happiness. But who says that they actually going to get the money and the car and the clothes and this through this happiness through this job? They might never make it. That's why sometimes you see people they go and spend seven years in university to be a doctor and then they spend 30 years to learn and then they find themselves in the age of 50 and they hate what they do and they're the worst doctor in history. So 30 40 years was wasted on nothing because they had a they had a desire to have status or money or a beautiful home etc etc and they went and p and they ran after something that was completely completely empty running after like nonsense of emptiness and many people find themselves in the middle of their life and they're like wait a minute all my life I wasted on nothing on air so the point is to know what is driving me and if I can reach to the point of what drives me I'm going to be able to pull the strings that it will manifest into my world that anything that I do is based on the truth on what on the shish on the root of things and then I reach for the ultimate happiness whatever you think brings you happiness is not necessarily what will bring you happiness and ultimately we all want to be happy if a person says my main goal in life is not to be happy there's no such a thing because we constantly searching for happiness and things that will fulfill us. Why? Cuz we want our vessel to be full. And if my vessel is not full, I'm not happy. And if I build myself a huge vessel and I don't know how to fill it in, then my vessel will be empty. I'm never going to be happy. I'm always going to be sad. Always going to be empty. That's the problem with the tanugot of the pleasures of this world is because I'm building a vessel and I'm building and building and building the vessel is completely empty. That's why half this world is depressed. How do you build your vessel? You can build a vessel with with with I'm right now talking about when somebody's building a vessel the wrong way that the vessel is not 100% fitting to the to the light. Those are rel relations of light and vessel. So if I do a mitzvah right now, then I build a vessel. The light that I will that will fill the vessel will be the light that Hashem gives me by me doing the actual mitzvah. This is a healthy relationship. But I can build a vessel in the wrong way. Like I gave one of many example of idol worship. A person can pursue a certain thing. And I'll give you an example in a second because something that we we we that happened to us this week and I'll give you a very good example. But the thing is that a lot of people build spiritual vessels that are based on sheer on lie on nothing and then there's no light to fill it in because a mitzvah will not go into that vessel. Any good thing that is based on the Torah will not go into that vessel. The result will be an empty vessel. So they will get the five minute relaxation from the meditation. But the empty the inside is empty completely empty. And when the inside is empty, the person is completely not happy, not satisfied and that person will point on everything to blame it. I don't many years to feel that emptiness. It's not uh someone believes in a certain spiritual yes or no. Some things will take years. Some things are instant. The thing is that you can't really measure it because we don't really know when it started. But I'm going to give you an example in a second that you'll see more clear. The point is that when a person the vessel is empty or damaged, it's two different things. We're going to talk about everything. I know you probably have a lot of questions, but in the next five weeks till we're done, we're going to talk and cover everything. The point is what I want to give you over before you leave and starting your life is that you have the basic tools how to deal with this world. If you don't have tools to deal with this world, people are are are going confused in this world. So they don't know what to do with themselves. They don't know where to live. They don't know when to get should I get married? I shouldn't get married. Should I do this job? Should I go and study? Should I go and work? They're confused. They're constantly confused. So it starts with young people when they're 18, 19, 20 and they think they're confused because they don't have the guidance. People that are 50 years old are confused, trust me, because they don't have the right guidance. And it's not about guidance. It's about that they don't know what's the ultimate what's the what's the wheel? What am I supposed to do here? If a person will sit down and will say, why am I in this world? Why did God put me in this world? To be a lawyer, to be a gardener, to what? Why did God put me in this world? There's a reason for that. If I want to have a successful life, I have to find what? Find out what's his reason. And when I will find out what's the reason that God put me in this world, I'm going to be the happiest person in the world because I'm going to go after it and I'm going to do it and then my life will be perfect. I'll be fine. Now, it doesn't mean life will be perfect. You know, there always going to be ups and downs in in this life. But the problem with the majority of the people of the world is they don't have what's called a direction. So, they're lost. And this will will result again the term that I'm using is an empty vessel. Empty vessel will result in depression in sadness with no mat with no with no destination, confusion. This will result that a person would look to blame everybody. So my boss is is a a bad boss. My wife is horrible. My parents annoy me. Why? That's already my ego telling me no, everybody's wrong. I'm right because I can only be right and everybody else is wrong. So this is all a result. It's another level after another level after another level that I'm so distant from the source. And if I go back to the source, I'll see that wait a minute, 90% of the times I'm the one who was wrong. And it's not my husband that is annoying me. It's that I have a problem. It's not my boss that is mean. I have a problem. which just very hard for us to look in the mirror and say I'm wrong. So the point what I want to give over is to you is to how to find the path that you can derive from it the right information to be able to to to deal with your life and to find your purpose in this world. And if you find your purpose in this world, you'll be a very happy person. You're going to get everything that you want. You're going to know how to deal with things. And most importantly, you're not going to fall into this state of emptiness. And this state of emptiness can come can result in many things. Like I told you, it can be depression, can be sadness, can be anything. Go and interview married people. The half of them will tell you they have a horrible marriage. They hate their marriage. They're sad. They're depressed. They're annoyed. And they blame it on the other half. 90% of them is their own problem cuz they are not focused. They're not going on the right path. They're pulling too much lights into small vessels or they're not pulling any light into big vessels. The point is that we have to to reveal the ultimate which ultimately comes from hem because if you're looking at the structure of the soul the lowest level then above the dwells the and it constantly gives it projects on the soul. I just need to know how to center myself to be able to bring it down. That's why you see great sadikim. They're relaxed. They don't scream. They don't they don't move a lot. Excuse me. I just noticed recently that like more like they don't like when they talk they talk in their mouth, not their whole body. They don't like wave around. Well, that's can be different. I know people I know great that they move their body. What I'm saying is that their emotions are very relaxed. In one of the next classes, we're going to talk about how we deal with our emotion. Yeah. Exactly. That's a style. Can I ask you a question? Wait, wait, hold on before the questions. So, the point is I want to give you one example that you understand kind of what I'm talking about. Then we're going to go for a little bit of questions. The point is to kind of summarize this and next we're going to talk about how are we refining this ultimate the ultimate will so I'm able to bring it down into my to my thoughts so ultimately will affect my emotions. Now, recently somebody that we know came and told us that they're doing a certain thing, a certain thing that on the surface looks very very positive by healing people and and and doing all sorts of things. When I was first approached with this whole system about a year and a half ago when I lived in Los Angeles, somebody came and told me this is the system we do like this and like that and we heal other people and but we using these techniques and these methods. Is it idol worship? That person came to me about two and a half years, two years ago, and a year and a half ago and told me, this is our system. Is it idol worship? And I told that person, if it you don't find a source to it in the teachings of the Torah, I idol worship. Even though it seems like a very nice thing that you're doing something very good, a lot of kindness, I'm helping other people, I'm healing them, but the system how it was brought down is completely distorted. Why? because it's tapping in to something mystical, true, but bringing this godly light into an empty vessel, the total opposite of the will of Hashem, which results in a fact that they think they're doing something good. Like you said, the meditation, they get some type of a relaxation. They see a result. You know, you can go now to a fortune teller. You're not allowed to. We're not allowed to go to fortune tellers, but a person go to a fortune teller that has powers to tap into to powers of impurity and to see certain things and to be able to say something true. And we're like, "Wow, look, she told me my future. The only problem is that 50% of it is wrong." So you take a little bit of the truth and you apply it and and then the other 50% is wrong. But more than that, it's coming from a side of impurity. The result will be that the first effect like a meditation will relax you will give you a result but the end result will be the complete emptiness because it was drawn down to the world without a vessel. That's a light that is drawn down to the world without having a vessel to holding it. That's one of the problems of Yashka. He would bring down a lot of light into the world. He knew all the names of Hashem. He knew a lot of things with no vessel. The result is up until now you see the disaster. That's what he used to do. Is there no way of remedying that? Excuse me. Is there no way of remedying that? Like can you make new containers so that the light can go? If it's against Hashem's will, doesn't matter what you're going to do, it's just going to cause damage. So you have to learn what Hashem's will is. And if Hashem would want to bring a power of healing in a certain way, he would bring it to you and give you the permission. How do you think doctors can heal? Doctors don't do anything. They are a puppet in the hands of God. God gives them the permission to heal. The actual act of the healing is just a cle a tool to bring the person into back into being healthy. If Hashem doesn't give a person permission, nothing's going to happen. So if I go in the path of Hashem, I have permission from Hashem to use this method, it will work. So is that like before bringing in too much light without whatever making it clear without is that we're going to we're going to talk in the in a different class. What does it mean bringing too much light into a small vessel? What does it mean to bring little light into a big vessel? going to talk about that because I'm just giving a a a general idea of the relations between always there's a light and a vessel. And the thing is when when do you feel the most happy? When you're satisfied. You can be hungry and walk around the city for 5 hours looking for a restaurant and you're not eased because you're missing something. You need to fulfill right now your stomach. Once you ate and you're full, ah, now I'm relaxed. Now I can be relaxed. This is a very low level of fulfilling an empty vessel. But in a greater scope, we're constantly running after pleasures, things that one that that makes us feel good. This is the relationship of the light and and and soul. Excuse me. It's automatic like that. Nothing is automatic. We you're right by saying that we operate in a very automatic way, but it's the wrong way. I have to be in control, not automatic. If I'm running automatic, then it's not good. Excuse me. Addiction. Addiction. Addiction is a completely different thing. There's no such a thing as addiction, by the way. Addiction is just a desire that is out of control. That's addiction is a very modern word. Addiction. You're opening a bus while you're not doing it. Yeah. It's out of control. Desire out of control. It's out of control. So, it's out of in a very refined way. Depends on the addiction. Some of them. Yeah, but the addiction if you want addiction is a very modern ter term that that they say, "Oh, he's addicted." He's not addicted. He just doesn't know how to control his desire. That's it. That's why people are able to go off addictions. People quit smoking. People quit quit drugs. People stop gambling. It's just a desire that is out of control. I don't understand what's wrong with using that word. Excuse me. But that's just how that's just a word for that definition. Okay, that's what I'm saying. It's a modern word because in the olden days they didn't have such a word as addiction. So what they say I don't know what they said 300 years ago. But the concept today people doctors psych and psychologists they blame certain things. Oh, it's he's addicted. But it's the wrong way of defining it. Because by me saying he's addicted is is by is I'm taking right now his power to be able to to heal himself. So any if I'm blaming him that he's addicted. So anything you do from a place that's out of control basically I'm saying what are the differences? Why are some of them idol worship and some of them not? Because at the end of the day so we'll talk about that too. Idol worship is everything that goes against the will of Hashem. So if something is against the will of Hashem, then it will be on the border or will be idol worship. But sometimes I can do things that are not necessarily against the will of Hashem. I just don't have control over it. That means that I have I have an issue that I have to deal with. But some things they're out of control and they're against Hashem's will. Isn't anything against ultimately, but not always because I can be addicted to food and it's not against Hashem's will. drink wine. Drinking wine is something that is not your life. No, there's a big difference by drinking wine and being an alcoholic. Exactly. But I'm saying it's not against wine. Exactly. That's why I said the example with food. You can be addicted to food. Not everyone eat food. Yeah. No, there's a addiction. Addicted to food. No. addicted to food is when when you buy five bars of chocolate every day, you don't need it. That's also against Hashem's will. So that's also I'm saying that's also a type of No, the thing is that the refined line in in Hashem's will is that some things are permitted, some things are not permitted. Whatever is not permitted, it's against Hashem's will. Whatever is permitted and I'm abusing it. It's permitted by Hashem, but I'm abusing it. That's two different things. Whatever Hashem doesn't permit me to do, that's against his will. Then I'm not allowed to do it. That's already what's called the is a prohibition. And I'm not allowed to do it. But Hashem allows me to eat. But I can abuse the eating by eating like a like an animal and all day long. So that but it's not a prohibition. But the concept of food is not bad. Things that are not wrong are not them. The The point is to kind of summarize what you're asking is idol worship if you try take the translation is a a work that I do an action that I do that is foreign z is foreign what does it mean foreign that that you're not going to find it in the Torah if you find it in the Torah it's not foreign because that's what I'm supposed to do if you can find it in the Torah that's idol worship and you don't have to bow bow to an idol. Now the point of idol worship is that I take my own will and I distort it how I think is good that's can also be idol worship now if I take now this group of people that I take a certain godly power that is out there and I bring it down but in a very distorted way why because they think that they are healing the person and not a god That's where it already already enters the border of aazar in that particular case because their system I'm not going to repeat the whole system it's not so important but they feel that they are able to bring down health to a certain person by their act now if they would say okay I'm just putting now a plaster or I'm poking you with needles or I'm giving you a certain h potion a natural potion to eat. The comes from the kadu. I'm just giving you the tool, then you you're saying, "Okay, Hashem is the the the healer, not me." But when I'm saying I'm healing you, that's already idol worship because I think that I'm healing you. I'm taking away the power from the real healer. That's where it comes the border of that's why idol worship can be sometime in a very refined line. You don't have to bow to an idol. When you think there's a concept in the Torah that is called I did it. My power is my power is the might of my hand. Means I did it. Hashem didn't do anything. I did it. How do you became a millionaire? Oh, I worked hard. How did you buy this beautiful home? Oh, cuz I work hard from morning to night. No, you didn't do nothing. Hashem gave it to you. So the concept of that I did it in a very refined way. Okay, that's also a now it's not a there's a very refined line here. The reason why I brought the whole concept of idol worship is because not to say that half of the things that we do are idol worship rather that we have to come to the understanding that if I do something that I think it should be done how I want it to be done. It's in a very refined way like idol worship because who's asking you what do you think? I didn't ask you. Hashem did not consult with us when he created the world. He told us this is how the world is functioning. Now when I come and distort it, then I'm going against the rules of this world. Now in a very severe way will be idol worship. The result will be the reason why I brought it up is because the result will be a big vessel with no lights in it. Again, we're going to go through all these terms in the next couple classes. But a big vessel with no light equals emptiness. What will come out of it will be sadness, depression, laziness. Hold on. Cuz we're going to learn how to work on our midot. A person thinks that it's his character to be lazy. There's no such a thing of a character to be lazy. And we say, "Oh, I'm lazy. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to come down to a class now. I'm lazy." Your mind will tell you, "I'm lazy." You're not lazy. You're not lazy at all. So there's no such thing as laziness. This is a what's called toada. It's another generation of this emptiness that resulted from a large clea with no light that now I'm becoming very lazy and I don't want to do things. That's not my character. That's something that I have to refine is this mida of laziness. And one might say I hate this subject. I don't learning it. This is boring me. No. It's an emptiness. Now our soul is built from four elements. Everything in this world is built from four elements. Fire, water, earth and air. Whatever element will be in in in dominating that's how I'm going to be functioning. So if my element of afar of of earth is strong afar its nature is to pull something down then I will become heavy and depressed and sad and lazy. If my element of fire is in dominating it can be both negative and positive. Negative I'll be angry all the time. I'll be shouting. I'll be you know my instincts like a fire. Cas and if the element of water is is dominating as I'm constantly going to be looking searching again there's always we're going to talk about that too there's always positive and negative the negative will be constantly searching after pleasures because water brings pleasure so every character that I have is also being is is built by these elements so we're going to learn how to start recognizing every little thing and refining it because ultimately you want to have tools that when you come into a point in your life you're able to recognize it and not blame it on something rather know how to fix it cuz if you're lazy and you don't want to get up in the morning for something it's easy to blame it by saying something it's harder to find the source of it and to fix it and then I don't be I'm not going to be lazy anymore and laziness will come as a result of this vessel being empty so I become heavy so one might say I'm depressed, I'm sad. Another person will it will result in laziness. So we're going to learn in in the next we'll try to go through all the midot the ones that are important are anger, laziness, heaviness, depression, things like this, even things that are more practical. One of the things that most people don't like hearing especially the women is the the the mida the attribute of is not wearing a long dress or the sleeves still here as a it's a mida you have to work on men also have to beat it's a very big things we're going to talk about many different things that are to all of us will have the right tools to be able to refine ourselves and not only to have a happy and successful and content life rather to fulfill my mission and my path in this world so I can do the ultimate and never fail to do my will. If I'm going after my desire, my will, this is a recipe of of of of uh failing. I have to look look and search for what's Hashem's will, which is the opposite of idol worship. And if I'm able to do that, then I'm going on the path that Hashem paved for me. And I'm going to be able to refine my midot work on my character and again not changing my character just refining it make it much better. I'll give you one last example because in my personal life I had a certain character there was gabut and when I was directing it to a negative way the the result was disastrous. Now when I direct it into a positive way then the results is unbelievable success in that particular thing. I'll give you examples for everything. I know you want examples when we're running out of time but the point is that you can take the same character direct it to something negative. The result is going to be a disaster. Disaster. Take the exact same character directed to something positive. You're going to be building worlds. and unbelievable success. Unbelievable success will automatically result into happiness and joy and content and all these good things. And that's the problem is when I direct myself and I focus myself to the wrong source and I bring something in the wrong way that dis the result is going to be disaster. Like the example I gave you with this group of people, they think that they do something something good, but they're bringing it in such a negative way. The result is a disaster. Maybe on the beginning there's going to be healing, but the result that each and one of these individuals the the end result is a disaster. total broken vessel which will result again in depression and emptiness and being lost and it will result into manifesting into their paranas into their livelihood making money the education of the kids it's one big ball like a snowball it starts resulting in into everything and they don't understand why is business not working why I can't say have a normal relationship with my husband why my children are not listening to me it's all one this it's one thing because they're drawing too much light their vessels completely bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro bro broken the result is a disaster and nobody wants to live in a disaster because the thing is the way it works literally like a snowball it just go becomes bigger and bigger why because my emotions are already out of control my thoughts already out of control cuz I'm constantly focusing on the wrong dot the GPS tells me go there I'm going there I'm going to continue getting lost the whole time we have I think another five or six shim we'll try to cover all of H in those times on Wednesday we're going to have two hours. I think what we'll do like last time that we do 1 hour or an hour and a half the sh and then if you want maybe another half hour an hour of questions that are related to the class or even not related to the class and if not then we'll just continue and try to cover as much as things as possible. You wanted to ask something before you're