Interview with Moshe - at Death's Doorstep. The most POWERFUL video you will EVER watch!!

e [Music] oh fore [Music] my name is well my name original name is moio They just added ra actually they added the name when I wasn't [Music] there um I grew up I I was born here I was I grew up in Israel 17 years I and got sick I did treatment in Israel now I'm doing treatment over here and now I'm in [Music] C well to religious people I I say we all we say a lot of bras we say a lot of we say we say a lot of times a day we we say before we eat anything after we eat anything we say a every we say which means which means God Is Watching each step everything we're doing beti this means he's watching each thing we're doing so he's I mean he's he's pumping the he's pumping the tumor he's making the tumor grow or make it smaller or bigger so I guess he's watching it the whole time the the same God who is pumping your heart is pump is looking at the tumor the whole same the whole time so I guess if you think he's making it smaller and even the not religious people agree that if you think it's getting smaller it does help and affects and makes it smaller I mean psychologist agree with that too so that's what I would [Music] say the truth is in the beginning was was very easy I didn't think about it I was just uh I basically I had fun but um in the last last month or last period of time um it became very worse and very bad and um I try I try to think um try to think that I'm going to get healthy I try to focus on the bras I got um I try to focus on try to read a lot um I read some Pinkus if you know um I try to listen to shum um it it is really hard [Music] a lot of times I do feel scared and um it's hard to get your mind off it I try I I my I I like I like learning so um I try to get a safer or or book or I'm pain I would I would watch a movie a clean movie I I would um I uh I feel a lot of times I well I feel I'm not going to survive I feel I'm going to be dead at the end I I told told a lot of people if I someone would tell me for sure or if any R would tell me for sure I'm going to stay alive in the end in the end of the everything all this exercise is I'm Doing Hard Exercise it's very hard for me but if anyone would tell me anyone that I rely on would tell me that I'm going to stay alive in the end and I would be calm and and I wouldn't mind I mean I would mind but um I would be do all this exercise and I would think I won't be I don't think I would be scared at all but um I I am scared that um in the end I I don't know really wanted so so much to be scared sometime sometimes I thought what what happens what's so bad if you die then I thought about my family that they won't really like it and um so I guess that's the the fear I have now I would tell [Music] them you will you probably will have a tough time I don't know if it would be long or short but you you probably will make it through it most most cancer patients do go through it just you don't hear about it you only hear about the ones that die and um because they that's what you hear about you only hear about bad news you know newspapers is only bad news but uh but um I most patients do do survive cancer and um there is there is a reason you got the cancer and uh this treatment for every for every type of cancer today and you probably will will survive you you should survive you it will be hard it will it will be it might be tough it it might be it it might be very affect you emotionally physically but after all you get over it [Music] you got to think positive the whole time I guess everyone agrees on that and um uh well I find out by me when I I lie down in bed and I think I don't think about anything then right away my mind goes to thinking about worries and getting scared so I try to occupy my mind with other things it it is very hard but um I I try to focus on other things or when I when I have pain or or before before I go to sleep then of course you're laying in bed and you're not doing anything then my mind goes a lot of times to thinking about um worries what's going to be how's my my exercise going to be very hard how what's going to be tomorrow how I how am I how's I have problems with my stomach how is it going to be how is the night going to be I have so I tried get my mind off that it's very hard a lot of times I would I would just continue thinking about it until now I really did think about it and that got me even more frustrated cuz I would just continue thinking about it and then just get frustrated and start crying because of because I got so frustrated it that I'm I'm just like King out I'm I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing but all people I don't know well what I got to get what I thought when I get cancer when I get it I thought and I think I'm getting as a religious guy I think I'm getting punished for any a lot of things I did [Music] um I think I did a lot of aairs during uh even even during the even during the treatments during when I was sick [Music] that's what I personally think why why do other patients get get sick I guess everyone is a gil g of someone and they did sins in previous theing where they were or I don't know well there's a lot of things important um there's um the there's from a religious point of view I think important thing in life is growing up and learning to I mean r sha that's what I mean that's what I personally want to be um to be place that you know to know to know sh to know to know everything basically um there's a lot of things important there's family there's friends there's a lot of things a lot of things are important I want to be a rash Place something like Raa Feinstein or Al sh an that's what I personally want to be [Music] the first thing I would do probably learn for an hour just to thank AEM that he cured me that that's the first thing I would do probably and um that's what I try to do when I get good news after scans um and then I would I would go teach if I would do with any teenager in my situ in my you know religious fer would do I would probably go to [Music] Fallsburg um cuz my family just moved here to [Music] fburg first of all I'm I'm very uh I'm very hard on myself and um so even when I do it just a little bit even let's say if I D with a head and jacket without a hat and jacket I would feel like I did a terrible terrible thing or if i d with cracks not with shoes so I'm very hard on myself at nature but besides that everyone know everyone knows what they did and I it it must be a punishment I mean supposedly it is a a punishment could be another [Music] reason well first of all a guy that the had cancer and he survived and he was told he would never had kids and he got married and he had kids and he came over to me and he spoke to me in that was right in the beginning he told me he spoke I first of all I was very happy to hear he had kids that means I gu have a chance and um uh he told the he I really um got strength I really uh got from what he told me that most patients most cancer patients do heal and they do stay alive that's he told me the fact you only hear he told me that you you only hear about the ones who um you only hear about the ones that die you don't hear about the ones that um survive like you know you see all these papers that they're col collecting money the father died the father died from cancer the mother died from cancer you only hear about those cases but he told me most people don't so that satisfied me a little bit [Music] um well I there's a lot of types of cancer yeah uh each I think each one is different a lot of people have Easy A lot of people have it hard I had it pretty much easy during the F in the in the beginning I guess in the be first one and a half or 2 years but like to around now but um I just got a treatment that made me very weak and it was it got it got me doing all this exercises and I'm staying in the house and doing hard exercises which um and they put me on steroids which mixes me up which I I hate but um I have Ying saroma that's a tumor in the spine um that's how it's it's I started with a tumor in the spine I actually have now a couple of tumors which are not pretty much not the first one was operable and they took it out and they put in a metal cage instead of a verber but um I actually have now a few that are a little upper that those cannot be um cannot can't get to them surgically and I did most of the type of chemo I did a lot of experimental drugs and basically I am doing now some alternative stuff um I guess I'm healing on the alternative stuff and the BR that's what I'm relying on and um what it having cancer I think having cancer when you when you heal from it I mean when you heal from it then you're a different person you you you will be different than a regular person you will think differently you look at the world differently I I think you you know what what's more important in life you you know what's less important you know how to Value stuff as they really are you and [Music] um at at home there's not a lot of people I I would really hope I would have a counselor a personal counselor I have a personal counselor I mean a whole year around I know it's not possible you know regular family can be there constantly 24 hours I do have right now for the last uh couple of weeks and 8 at night uh uh actually a guy that helps me at night um but uh Camp definitely definitely helps I'm I'm at home in the mornings alone and um I I know it's not it's not good to be alone my doctor told to me a lot of times and uh he actually asked me a lot of times if I'm depressed and I say I don't know you're the doctor but I hope I'm not and um that's one of the things I really fear that I would get depressed and I would I would have to go on mental pills or anything like that and you know that that besides that um that that will affect my um for it will affect my my besides what my cancer will affect it but um back to the question be being in Camp really does help me um I don't I don't get to dance a lot I don't get to to be around a lot of people like this a lot of times by any any time the counselors here are great especially the counselors I have this session Ellie lonstein and AI grman they were great and um all all the counselors they're all in for for the for the campers they would do anything I don't know how AR deitzer that's what I heard he's the one who gets the guys to Camp I don't know how he sifts out from the world all the great people he find finds out all any the the greatest I I can't I can't say how best people he finds to come to and the kids a good time and I guess he makes he makes these people smile I'm sure he makes a lot of people tear up and smile for the first time and of course what proves they they come every year they come back and back every year and um I would I personally thought I wouldn't be able to come to camp this year I I really wanted to come to camp but um since I have a lot of problems they um I I thought I won't be able to but um I I thought it would be better if they push cim off until my problems is a little bit better but um of course that's not that doesn't happen but uh but uh I'm I'm really happy I I I made it and it's really the campers the counselors made it as great as possible possible for me they made it everything whatever I had at home they they got over here and they it's very I know I'm very I'm very tough kid I mean very tough um camper okay you can ask my counselors I need a lot of work I need to do a lot of exercise I need to be watched on my what I eat um and um they they got everything got everything Tak taken care of the C the counselors are all into the campers they would do anything I know they would do anything and I see they do they do everything for any camper and that's all I have to say about camp Camp it's a different planet what last year after Camp I I got very sad that the camp ended and I'm really sad the camp is only is so short and it's going to [Music] end a highlight I've take something home if I could take physically I mean I I would I would take a few counselors that's what I would take to stay in my room and be with [Music] me after I think [Music] I would say I mean you're doing your job you're doing what you're supposed to do um I mean I believe that um everything has a reason and there's a reason you go into someone and you give him pain or you affect his you affect him physically or emotionally and um I I hope that reason fails away very fast but um you're doing your job and uh I hope you get smaller fast and you don't do too much damage and you do what you're supposed to do not any more of that [Music] um Ellie Rog got me well I got to know Ellie R great guy between the among the great guys I know around camp and all over he's really a great guy I love him as a father he loves me as a son he told me um he got me he got me a fish tank in my room he got he got a gigantic fish tank not what I thought it will be he got he got me um I I my hobby is f just nothing to do with learning is it's nothing to do it's just my hobby is I I I like news far and um you could ask I got I I got sent to Camp a gamar different kind of gamar a gamar that was out of print um and um so he got me uh he got me basically connected with a a store in Brooklyn that um very big store Greenfield and he um he told me he has a credit over there because he has connections and I don't know if it's true but he he always tells me that he tells me he has iPods flying around and he'll give me one and he has he has cameras flying around and he'll give me one so I don't know what to believe what not but um he got me connected with that farm store and uh he let me go up and down the aisles and choose whatever I want and I actually made a list and I got a lot of for and they're in my room right now and actually actually I have every safe I mean I'm getting and I have every safer and every book that I want and and I have any every Gadget I have and actually I found out that well before I I came to Camp a lot of times that would give me a feeling I I have too many options and it's mixing me up you got to get everything out of here the phone has too many options when I go to sleep what should I do should I open a gamar or should I or should I watch a movie if I should watch a movie which movie if I should open up if I should learn what should I learn should I do now m or should I do should I do Marcus which I I try to but I I don't know what to choose and that mixes me up very much it did mix me up very much um and even the phone the the iPhone I have beforeand I had a regular phone I was thinking a lot of times of getting rid of the iPhone and just get getting back the regular phone because there's too many options too many things you could do on it and a lot of times it mixes me up and it gets me very frustrated and I think I don't know if it's anyone but if you have too many options if you have everything and I do have anything and everything I want so it it might affect you [Music] uh first of all what whatever whatever you ask as as you know whatever you ask goes up and you know it it it does go up and even if it's like you know this stuff that black but um everything helps for something and um I don't know it's not nice to tell people if you would know what I went through then and I still say it's from then uh then you there's no reason you should for your reason not stay from I mean but uh you and deep in your heart you do know the truth is that that it will help you that staying from well is the truth and um this reason is not a reason to con just and for sure take up your mind take your mind off it and you will feel for sure you'll feel better later on it's just a thinking now that's what I would say there was never such a Time now there was I I do get frustrated when I miss kma or when I miss when I I miss when I eat if I eat eat before ding sometimes I have to but um I I don't know to it's very hard for me to decide whether I have to or not it's hard for me to decide if I'm allowed to D because you know bathroom issues it it's hard for me to decide if I'm allowed to put on filling or for how much if I didn't put on filling then I feel bad afterwards if I did put on filling it might it might be also for me to put on fing I was getting frustrated but um I I I don't think I had every thoughts I mean what does it have to do with each [Music] other I want to thank you I want to thank the campers I I want to thank the counselors have girl soon was great and you you really understand me and I was really very sad when he left I was afraid Ellie won't be able to take over because my my mother when before I I left sat with with AI and gave G spoke to him for 2 hours and gave him instructions what to do and um but when I got ear he really after very fast we got connected and he's doing a great job and I really want to thank him and um he he re I feel like he really understands what I need like I tell him when not to help me when I want to do things myself the exercises or when I want to do when I want to get up myself he he's always he understand exactly what I what I need and I would wish I would have him a year and um I'm actually actually Abby Gren is on the way and I I don't know what to think because they're both going to be here and um besides that all the C old counselors everyone who makes this Camp running I want to thank them that're really great [Music]