Inside ArtScroll - Season 3 Episode 11: Rabbi David Sutton – A Daily Dose of Bitachon

[Music] Hello everyone and welcome back to Inside Art Scroll where the books you read and the people who write them come to life. Today we are joined by Rabbi David Sutton the author of the brand new a daily dose of bet. Thank you Rabbi Sutton for being here. I should mention that in addition to this brand new book, you're the best-selling author of the commentary on the base Halev on which came out last year. You've written Embrace Shabas. You've been a popular art school author for many years. So, we're honored to have you here today. Thank you. My pleasure. This book is absolutely fantastic. Since it came out, I haven't put it down. I've been reading it every single day. I myself have gleaned tremendous from it. I like the way it's broken down, but before we get into real heavyduty questions about Pak and we'll we'll put you on the spot a bit. Um, tell our viewers why you chose to write this book and how it compares to the regular learning of the which is what it's based on. So this book is really based on shirim that I gave in uh our schul in Brooklyn Yad Yosef together with Rabbi Ozeri and I've been giving Shirim and Sloavas for years I would say I don't know maybe 20 years and when I started even back in yeshiva the first safer that I bought Muser safer in Bayakov which goes back close to 40 years ago um they told me they I still remember was the Mashkia Katan His name was Raalak under Raulba. He said, "Do you have any money?" I was a a wealthy American boy. My father's a doctor. Like, do you have any I said, "For what?" He says, "Could you afford to buy a safer?" I was like, "You know, I have $100 a week allowance. It's not a problem." But he says, "Buy yourself a two volume, the one with the the Liberman with the translation on the bottom of Leto. You should read it." That was the first Musafer I started with. And it was very hard. this sukim and he's bringing proofs and it was it was really a lewood it was a hard it's not so mil shasharm is a little smoother shavas is really a lemud and over the years till I myself understood it and I started giving shurum on it and my goal was to make it that your average person could pick up a safer maybe one day he'll put it into Hebrew and just read it straight without those so to say bumps in the road exactly to make it to make it you know navigate through it. I still remember a mushel you wanted to say. No, I wanted to just say that I found with the BV also that sometimes it's cumbersome because he's constantly quoting sukim as proofs and unless you're keeping track of the back and forth sometimes you could, you know, lose lose focus. And that's really what um what I wanted to say is what I found with this particular book is that it takes the foundations of the and then it brings it down into a very practical approach, practical ideas, lessons with stories really every single chapter which is short. It's a page or two which you could read in a few minutes every single day. There's a real tangible takeaway. Whereas when you're learning which is the source of of so much of what we know about um it's it's a real limud and not everyone has the wherewithal all the time to do that. Obviously I'm sure you yourself would recommend if you're able to learn the source work obviously but um but as far as reaching the masses that's what I think this book accomplishes. So the way it evolved was and you're saying the the each one standalone lesson. It was originally a six minute lesson class that was recorded. It started with a group of people. We recorded it and started to get out there. A few thousand people listen every day to this daily buck uh class email chat. And each one was a standalone from the so you could listen to it and you had to walk away. That was the goal to get someone to listen for five six minutes with a takeaway. Mhm. But all those mini takeaways joined together and with 130 plus lessons, it became a book. So it has the quality of your you could just open it to any page and read it really with a takeaway. But if you start from the beginning to the end, you're really going to get the's messages throughout. So I'll tell you something else that I liked personally a pet peeve of mine. I I didn't find that it's just the stories a collection of hashkah stories where things worked out an end for everyone and and they lived happily ever after which very often could actually be disheartening for people who want to acquire amun and they don't necessarily want to read stories about how you know a guy happened to be in the right place at the right time and it all worked out. That's not really what amun and are. And I appreciated that about the book that it's not just those feel-good stories. It's really giving you the foundations. Can you talk about that? Talk about first of all the difference between amuna and really what bet means. It's not just having faith. It's relying on hashem and then I'll follow up with a different question which uh you know which is a maybe a misnomer about meaning that everything works out for the best or you know I'll let you comment on that. So the first difference amun that's a famous question and I like to use the mush as follows. Amuna is really my belief system. I believe I believe that um art scroll is going to put out my next safer. I believe that I believe that right now in my head next book am I specifically relying on Gdalia's lots right now to do it for me? I'm not relying on him. In my head I know he can do it. I didn't tell him Gdalia I'm counting on you. I'm relying on you. That's just my belief system. You're talking is you're actually it's more of a relationship and is I believe of course a keshb is here. It is a relationship. He's here. He's with me. But I'm not relying on him. I know my father can cover my mortgage. I know he could. Does that mean I'm relying on him to do so? So is more I'm activating my reliance on a kadesh. So I'm going to ask you a few questions and forgive me if they're elementary, but I this is part of the the baken kind of protocol. People ask these questions. So I'm relying on for my bills to pay my bills. Is that normative to rely on Hashem for something? I don't know. Maybe Hashem doesn't want me to do X Y and Z. How do I know that what I'm relying on for is actually what Hashem wants? So Hashem told you rely on him. That's one of the things says at the end is that people make the mistake. They don't realize that Hashem actually commanded you. It's a mitzvah. He wants you to rely on him and he wants you like our vulva once told me use your use your he gave me the following m I once asked him many years ago um I this is 30 years ago more I was in Israel I'm a yeshiva bakar taking buses and I could either run for the bus and make the bus huffing and puffing or walk to the bus and miss the bus. How do I know what Hashem wants from me? That was my question. He told me Hashem wants to use your seah and he said says walk don't run like a like a like a mish so you have to use your so whatever the the normative is that's what you're supposed to be doing and then once you do what's normative then you leave the rest that's the basic formula now what's normative is very do you have to exercise three times a week or four times a week is it a half an hours which is 22 minutes what's normative you have to ask a doctor ask a lawyer what's normal what's considered the standard histadus my I had high blood pressure my cardiologist said you should spend uh four times a week walking for 45 minutes I try to do that that's normative now a person could do that and still not have healthy blood pressure and a person could not do this yes have but that's the normative thing to do and then after all that you rely on hashem because it doesn't always work, right? Is normative to clip coupons and run around to three stores to save $20, you know, on various items or do I go to my local from supermarket and is that considered normative? That's probably anam a very common example, you know, how do you how do you really know? So, it also depends on what you're comfortable with. That means said is like a anxiety pill. It has to be that you do it and you feel you did enough. If you're comfortable with that, then that's that's pretty much an indicator. He almost says is just a way to make it easier for you have to have beta. So you have to do enough. It's it's really very personal. You know what's considered enough? If I could, if I could sort of say with my sleep well at night, that's pretty much the formula right now. Should you be doing more or less? If you're doing almost extra, is that a demonstration or a manifestation of a lack of you know that's the that's the when he says twice remember me that extra time the time, right? the TW when you do too much estadas that's showing that like you're really you're not uh right another practical example yesterday I was speaking to a friend of mine who opened up to me he told me he's $75,000 in debt from various expenses he made a sim and just uh living you know the cost of from living is a lot and he doesn't have people helping him and he's he's in debt what what could I have told him on a practical bakan level someone who's really you know we'll say behind the eightball and he's yayim he believes that uh that you know the could do anything right but that's he believes he believes but now he's really relying on he's sitting there he's talking to him and he's I'm counting on you and he really is count I know people in our community I know a fell that's a um he's a salesman for expensive watches expensive watches today Patek Phipe these you know $200,000 $300,000 watch and he'll He'll make enough to cover a month expenses on those watches, but there's no way for him. He gets a call from Saudi Arabia. He gets a call from here. Someone will call and just there's no way to know when it's happening. He says, "I just wait and rely on Keshu." And just he's just living it. So if you really, you know, live it and really, you know, you put your money where your mouth is, right? People like that do see wonders. I I mean, people come back to me with stories. is sometimes, you know, amazing how people just things work out like because you don't want to hear those feel-good stories, but when you actually have you'll you'll see them happening. But I like what you're saying because the truth is people mistakenly interchange the terms and even though they're really not the same, the truth is that amuna really is is much easier than is the harder part of the avoid of literally relying. That means if you're really relying on someone and you believe that they could and will come to your salvation, then your stress level should be very low. Which leads into something else that you mentioned in the book. You kind of allude to mental health. You talk about CBT. Um, and I know that you've done recently some background research on this. talk about that and talk about how really interrelated amuna and are with our mental health and peace of mind unrelated to the religious component of it. That's a very interesting point you're bringing up. I actually have a good friend um he's a professor in Harvard Medical School as well as he works in the MLAN hospital which is Harvard's mental hospital in Boston. His name is Dr. David Rosmer. He's a good from Ben Torah who learns in uh learns cave and actually there's a story about him. I first met him through living amuna or by ash's book because he brings a story there. He was a um a student in in Harvard. He was having a lot of anxiety over tests. And the rabbi in the hill house said, "You know what? You want to be calm and relaxed? You don't need sleeping pills. Here's a lavas." Really? And that changed his life. Not just did it calm him down. He read a little bit before he went to sleep, but he started thinking and he wrote his whole doctorate on spirituality and mental health. How spirituality, that's the word they have to use instead of religion out there in the secular word, how it helps. and he was a doctor, still is a doctor in Harvard's mental hospital and he's wearing his yamaka. He wears his yamaka and he's not a rabbi and he's treating people with severe OCD. That's his uh expertise in anxiety. He has the center for anxiety. There's many uh centers around around the country. And he's walking through the halls and go over to him. Hey, rabbis. He's not a rabbi, but they wanted to talk to somebody and and the the mental hospital saw that, hey, we're not servicing that need and they they gave him the job of opening a spirituality and mental health division in Harvard's mental hospital where they're trying to teach the doctors and the nurses how spirituality can help and how if you have a a belief in what they call a higher force, your life is different. And I use in here a mushell I heard from Dr. Rabbi Dr. Zev Brown. He's more of a rabbi than a doctor. A great mushel on CBT. Um he says, "Imagine you walk out of the room now and someone just knocks you to the floor. What's your reaction going to be?" Just unprovoked. Unprovoked. What? Why you do that? What else? I mean, just you say, "Why'd you do that?" I'm sure a little bit more emotion and feeling is going to be in there. I I would probably I don't know. Scream at the guy. I don't know. You're very upset. You'd be upset. Yeah. Now, what happens if I tell you there's someone that just inherited millions of dollars and he's doing a test? He wants to see if there's someone he can knock down and he'll jump up and hug him. And if he does that, he'll give them a million dollars. Then what's your reaction going to be when someone knocks you over? You'll be hugging everyone inside. Hugging everyone in sight. So now, so what does being knocked over elicit? Being upset or hugging people? The answer is it's all in your head how to react to it. And Ravula says that's why the Ramom calls midosh deis because it's all in your mind the way you react. So if you start there's a term in psychology which really the invented it's called reframing. Right. You mentioned that quite a bit in the book. Yeah. Right. The Lava says a mushel which to me is the greatest mushel of all times. One of the most emotional moving sites for me is the first bath of a baby. The mother's too nervous. It's her first baby, her first bath. She brings her mother, maybe her mother-in-law. They sit around this little baby. They put him in this special special uh tub. They have the water at the right temperature. And I go back to my childhood memories. They didn't have Johnson and Johnson's no tear formula. I remember when I still remember is the the the shampoo going in my eyes and like I I was scared of baths. But these two people are the most loving people in your life. And who loves the baby more than these two people? And yet the child's screaming because a little little shampoo got in his eyes. He says if you look at life that way that those painful moments are a little shampoo in your eyes from your loving father in heaven turns everything around. That's an unbelievable reframe. Rais said that all psychology starts in the Torah. He says salant predated Freud on subconscious. So the the whole concept of mental health and mental wellness is all is all there in our Torah. If you just if you really saturate yourself with love, you will be a calmer person. And how are you actively using these of yishkai to help people? Are you doing anything proactively? Interestingly, in in our community, in the Syrian community, we started a a organization called SIMA, Spartic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness, and we're actually training Rabanim now to use Torah based knowledge to help people because today the the mental health is is a crisis. Sure. Espe after Corona and and Rabon are being bombarded and they don't know what to do. So, we have Rab Ela Bundy who's guiding us. We have a doctor uh Steve Zimmerman Schlamy Zimmerman who and he's training these rabanim with ruin from Tom Rula and we're trying to show how you can use this you know Torah knowledge to help people. That's fantastic. I if I may say I think one of the struggles that people have with applying and you really allude to it in the book is that we're surrounded by so much seeming cause and effect. We live in a world of cause and effect. If I do X, you know, I'll end up with Z. We see people who seemingly work very hard and do well in business. We see other people who seemingly don't struggle so much in whatever area it is, whether it's parasa, health, whatever it is that we need. We see other people who don't seem to have that struggle. And we ask why. And and again going back to the cause and effect that seems to be the blinder that very often blocks us from seeing with clarity. Would you would you agree with that? For sure. I mean we we base ourselves on what we see. We live within we live with our senses. So it has a tremendous impact. I mean Rabbi Miller used to speak about you go out it's raining outside and you say it's a miserable day. Even though rain is the biggest braha, but we're impacted by what our eyes see and what we hear and that's really it's really contrary to everything that we believe you know is what we see and that's why it is a constant battle because you keep on being conditioned contrary to be right I think that's why also a daily dose volume is so important because maybe there are other topics you could learn once and really just need a review to remember with paken We really need that constant infusion because we're so bombarded on the outside with messages that are so to the contrary of of of what the real truth is that we need that constant uh well the truth is you have to say keshma every single day. Yeah. And we need constant reminders because it says anytime it says remember it means because there's a force that's making you forget there that that's the whole you know it says that when you're born into this world a malik comes and knocks all the you forget all the that you learned that's what it says right says that desa writes that that malik is not just a malik he says haz comes and gives you a bang and you forget everything that you learned means the whole world is just so counter to what we believe in that it just makes you forget everything. One of the things that I think uh blinds people and it's it's really the million-dollar question of but I'm just going to throw it out there for your insight and that is that you look around and you see people who we know are very righteous and live on a very very high level clearly have a higher level of amun than I do and the average person does and yet we see them seemingly struggle parnasa health, whatever the challenge is that they have and we wonder why. Clearly they have and clearly they're relying on Hashem. So why doesn't it seemingly come around for them? What do you what's the answer to today? That really that that is a very you know big discussion which is really not to answer now in the world is put like two sides you know those that believe that you know if I believe that I'm get a gold watch now it will come in and those that say don't don't announce that story because it's it's going to be the wrong message misleading. So there's no onesizefits all. To me, the easiest um I don't like to use the word answer, but there's two two basic points. Number one is the uh NI says when he talks about and the mafarim say and then it says Hashem knows what's going on in a person's heart, which means we don't know who has and who doesn't. That's that's number one. We don't we don't know we don't know what's going on in anyone's heart. We don't know what anyone's tests are. But we know what their challenges are. So it's very hard to say he had that's that's number one as as difficult as it might sound. Right? Number two is even though we know it's we know you know that that the the the righteous people are at least our perception is yes that they have. Number two, number two is the uh the leash who's known he's raash's grandfather but he was the leash before that he's great makub and he says that when he wants something to happen it's going to happen meaningu if he would have ded number five 16 would have gotten in but hashem said don't and closed down the heaven so you can't play games with hashem and he says that if hashem wants something to happen he'll take the person's baken away he'll actually make that he can't that he's he he'll put He says he'll put he'll instill a fear in his heart to make it happen. So might be impregnable but Hashem could still play with that you know he could play with our heads. Really my question that I was asking you now in other words is the question of sadak verali why do why do the righteous suffer if clearly the righteous have the highest levels again we're assuming of of uh of amun and you touch on saddic verali in the book right that's also that's a question for now there's no no easy answer for that right that's that's that's the that's a hard question any takeaway that you want to share with our viewers from the book some nugget that you think uh you know would be would encapsulate kind of your message in this book. So the last lesson I actually was based on a bay adel you got to wait for the I think it's lesson 131 to get there but I was visiting recently in talking about and I forgot exactly how it came up but I was in a hotel and I was checking out and I wanted to make sure everything was smooth so I went there at 8:00 in the morning after diving mates by co cell and I said, "You know what? Make sure there's no incidentals. Everything's covered. I'm done. Just say goodbye and get into the cab." Done. Okay. I walk in, lady says, "No, you have another $120 $100 on the bill." Since I covered it, right? No, you didn't. The taxi is waiting. What's going on? So, I go to my wife, "Did you charge anything after?" "Oh, yeah. Yeah, I took some guest for breakfast. Put it on the bill." Took another 15, 20 minutes. It was frustrating. It was frustrating. Uh we were checking out for Shabas and I I went to Badis after that. That was the next stop. And he said, "Imagine a Malik came down and whispered in the lady's ear, aggravate this man." It was a message from my bro. Would you start getting aggravated? You'd know that's exactly supposed to happen. And he said, "It's a life's work to be able to live life like that. things don't frustrate you because you really believe that's exactly what's supposed to be happening. And on that same trip I went to Abdal and he said when you say in the morning that means Hashem does everything I need. He says you're walking the street and you slip on a banana. You know what you're supposed to say? Oh, I didn't realize I needed that today. That's or you get stuck in traffic for an hour. I didn't realize I needed that today. where they cancel your flight and you sing the airport for eight hours. I didn't realize I needed that today. That's a reframe. It's a reframing, right? But but say it's a life's work and that's why you need it every single day because I literally wrote the book and speak to my wife, you know, I get frustrated. So you just because we have in ourselves and this is really everything we have our heart brain heart and what's in our brain doesn't necessarily there's a gap from your brain to your heart of it Peterburg says like from the shaman to the hearts there's light years of a separation and your heart is its own creature so to say he says but don't despair because rain comes from the heaven down to the earth Mhm. And trickle trickle trickle down. And that's what every single day you got a little water the plant so to say every single day. Put some in your heart. That's the job. And I thought of a means today. Yesterday's is not going to help you for today. Every day needs another dose. Put the message from your heart into from your brain into your heart. And that's part one of the of is also worrying only about today, not worrying about the future. Yes. uh which is what you talk about a lot that so much of the agonizing and the frustration that people experience is really about the future. the word what's going to be tomorrow and right now your bed you have your food they have lodging they have a family they're doing fairly well it's usually about the future and to appreciate what you have right now right to appreciate in the moment means before I ask for more I have to really say what do I have till now everything's great till now that's what this book this book opens the door to appreciating the daily kindnesses of Hashem and really achieving a life of serenity. That's that's what this book does. I think it does it in an amazing way. I'm going to say something. I'm going to guarantee any viewer out there who goes buys this book. Money back guarantee on this book from having gone through it myself. There's no chance that anyone's going to read this and not feel different. I don't I'm not going to say for you to say this because you're negative, but you're the author. I'm saying it from a reader's vantage point. money back guarantee on this book. This book will change the way people look at their everyday. It's very easy to read. It's a it's mamish a lifecher and I thank you for taking the time and to do what you did. It's really a tremendous achievement. Okay. Thank you. So, thank you so much. Thanks for joining us today. [Music]