IFS & Judaism | Rosh Hoshanah/Yom Kippur Women's Class

the yeshiva.net okay just a few fast announcements before I begin um this is our last class before Rosh Hashanah because next Tuesday I'm uh I'm out of town I'm in Los Angeles Monday evening so I won't be able to be here Tuesday morning so that's so this is our last class before Rosh Hashanah and that's number one number two this Messiah Shabbos of course is slickus and like we have every year in the tent a Priestly for bringing in concerts it's for men and women with a magical and that begins at 10 o'clock P.M everybody is invited the Shabbos after Rosh Hashanah is Shabbos shuva and at five o'clock in the afternoon we have a Shabbos drasha slash lecture also here in the tent for men and women everybody is invited to that as well one of the very interesting things in the in the Jewish tradition during the coming weeks and really a whole year is the way we confess the way we confess mistakes or transgressions whether it's every day by davening or in the al-qaed and especially during the time of of Slickers where we repeated many many times is basically we go through the Isle of Base gimmel there's one term of confession using the beginning of each of the letters of the Hebrew alphabet Olive through tough the last one is last ones are roshanu ti Avenue but they're always done in the plural we ashamnu we have sinned but God knew we have betrayed gazal no we have stolen the Banu daifi we have spoken inadequately Etc always in the plural the same is true the amkipper and thou haits when we confess it's always the sin that we have sinned there are a few Expressions where you say I but for the most part it's we have done it this has arouse the obvious question and that is it very it seems that this is not the way to confess imagine I let's say uh a husband did something inappropriate or said something inappropriate right and he wants to make a confession to his spouse or conversely a wife to a husband or a friend to another friend or whatever in any situation where there's a relationship and I feel like I want to say I'm sorry I have remorse and I want to apologize so I come over to this person and I say we we insulted you you don't like it's not happening right why not exactly own up to it the least the least you can do is say I I the buck stops here that's exactly what confession is confession is I made a mistake I feel bad about it I want to say I'm sorry the moment it becomes we who who's this we we the world the planet the universe who who's we we the United States of America the government who's we we the people we the people confess the whole definition of confession is I'm taking responsibility if I'm not taking responsibility it's not a confession if I'm blaming somebody else right you know those people saying I'm sorry but you're guilty right I'm sorry thank you you could just put it on the Bimmer just put it on the beme you know I'm sorry but you know who started I'm sorry but you know you're just extra sensitive I'm sorry but you really really turned this around you know I'm sorry but you know what you did yesterday and then there is I'm not even saying ah it's just it's we you would expect it to be a shamti but got the T casualty this is interesting why is it done in the plural yes there are sometimes things that people do together you know it's a pack of wolves who decide together to make some trouble but they can that that's possible but generally it's about a personal relationship every person is davening it's done in the it's done also in the quiet part of Dominic it's between you and Hashem why don't I speak about me let me speak about my life but you will almost not find any expression of I did it it's always we and who is this we I wonder if it's not we what what what if I don't have any but what if it's not a communal thing well it was just between me myself and I and another person or the Republic why did they create this Nosa and of course this brings us to another question and that is and we have discussed this in the pastors the way it's usually done is in most communities it's done with a song right Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah now imagine again your husband comes to you and he wants to apologize so he's like ah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we have done something wrong we have betrayed you leave me alone leave me alone what is this a Broadway musical Les Miserables come on I don't understand what you you want to say something say it when you start making our nigging from a confession by definition music is beautiful and songs are beautiful but it doesn't it seems out of character because when I'm if I'm expressing remorse like say what you want to say you want to shed a tear shed a tear I can understand that Express an emotion but somehow carving it into putting it into a musical tune seems out of character and yet almost every time at least in many communities when we do the confession we make sure to do it with a song and a communal song and the song has a somber tone but it also has a liveliness to it so today I want to learn with you a piece about this and it comes from a very interesting work no one has told us Yakov yasif told us which literally means The Offspring of yaakov Yosef is a saferation that was authored by a man named Joseph hakoyan cats cats and he was one of the greatest and pro one of the most Primary students of the balshemtov the balship who was born in 1698 the 18th of ello which is tonight the 18th of owl is the birthday of the balshamtov and he was born in the year nachas nachas nachas means and you know what nachas means right oh you don't know what means okay so nagas means Serenity relaxation like which is equivalent to 1698 on the 18th of Elo twelve days before Rosh Hashanah was also on a Wednesday actually passed away shu is tough 1760 but one of his greatest students was the rav of the famous city of pulna Paul Knowles had one of the largest Jewish communities in the Ukraine and he was the rabbi the avbezden of that community of that City his name was Jacobs and he became one of the greatest students of the balshamtov he was born we're not sure which year but approximately 1695 which means he may have been older than his teacher and he passed away which would be 1742 in other words 22 years the Basham passed away 1760 so we lived another 22 years passed away after after circus tough government base 1782 and a year or two before 1780 he published what was to become the first probably the first Hasidic work ever published in print or certainly one of the first told us Yak of Yosef in which he compiled many of the teachings that he heard from his master and also developed them in his own very original and profound and creative way it's a very um precious work for many reasons one of them is that the balshamtov did not write down his teachings we don't have anything written from him so all of his teachings that we have come from his students and therefore told us who was a student who was by the balsham to for decades and transcribed many things that he heard directly from him is is the is the source from which we know so much of the great teachings of the balships which which infused the landscape of Judaism and the Jewish people with a tremendous sense of depth and sophistication and vitality so this is a piece from the Telus it's a very long piece and an intricate piece I didn't copy it all because it gets very long and elaborate and I want to I wanted to stick to the points I collected a few paragraphs and they're also not exactly the same order but it's all word for word from him but I I didn't take it exactly as is because it's extremely long I just took a few paragraphs and organized them in a way that we should be able to appreciate the flow it's actually impartial even though because he's speaking about Apostle convayaka even though as I said he's discussing the shamnu the confessions of slickus and eloh and serious he starts off with a question that somebody asked him this is Rebecca Joseph of Pullman told us somebody asked me I was asked yashir on a mask what he's asking is somebody asked him an interesting question we say every day the song of the Jewish people the Shira when they cross the Red Sea and they were all saved and the Egyptians drowned and afterwards and the Jewish people sing and it's a song in which they are grateful they're expressing gratitude for what they have seen and they describe the circumstances so they start off Ashira Hashem I'm going to sing to Hashem he took the horse and its Rider and and hurled it into the sea and they speak about what happened to the Chariots of parai and what happened to his army and uh and then of course what happened to them how the sea stood how the water stood like a like a fortress like a wall the expression is the spirit of your mouth the water gathered and they stood up they stood up it was like like a wallet yeah the the depths of the water congealed in the heart of the sea meaning the water wasn't flowing anymore but rather it stood straight so that we could walk through and then in middle of all that he's already describing the miracle of curious Samson and the Jewish people going through he starts this whole person Yadi the enemy said I will pursue them I will reach them I will distribute their booty we will take them kill them and distribute their booty and their booty their spoil will fill my soul I will unleash my sword and leave our impact on them with my hand this is what the enemy says they're describing now what the enemy thought but it seems out of place you're out of contest because he's in the middle of describing after party drowned describing the miracle of kriya samsov and what Hashem did to the Jewish people and he continues that and then suddenly in middle of that they start talking about the schemes of the enemy and the television says even if you want to talk about that it should be in the beginning when did pirate said let me chase them when before the splitting Over the Sea the Jewish people left Egypt and Paris said let me pursue them even though he let them go he had a change of heart let me pursue them let me find them let me bring them back let me get hold of their booty because they took out so much silver and gold and they emptied out midterm so this is all what motivated paroi to chase them and then when he comes the sea splits and the Jewish people pass the new and the Egyptians drowned but this whole process first of all it seems out of context when you're talking about the miracle of the splitting of the sea to start talking about what Pari was thinking and second of all out of place chronologically this happens early this is what he was asked one way of explaining this through an ethical approach is as follows there was a king who ruled the world he ruled the planet means he ruled the whole the whole Earth foreign he wanted to know the Loyalty of his subjects so he took one of his beloved servants and he asked them to go visit all of the subjects but to camouflage himself as though he is trying to revolt against the king in other words he shouldn't portray himself as a friend as a servant on the contrary he should present himself as a merit he should call for revolucia for revolution he wants to undermine the kingdom so what happens he starts some of the regions some of the countries or some of the states or some of the Cities under this King when this man came and he called for rebellion and treason they started to fight him and they dominated him foreign other parts of the Kingdom said you know what the guy has a point King is rotten it's time for change let's join him but there was one place the people were very deep they were very perceptive and they began to investigate this is very strange and they realized after a while chazo rutsenham that actually he's a messenger of the king what he's saying and who he really is seems very different but they're not in other words he's saying his mouth is saying I want to rebel against the king but really this itself was part of his mission that came from the King this martial he still go he said earlier and he's saying you can go back to this metaphor and he's again going to go back to this metaphor a little more what's the point of it a strange metaphor what's the point the point is that in one of the places and some of the places they identified him as an enemy of the of his majesty this is the week that the world is busy with royalty right Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II who died last week last Thursday and the coronation of the new king of the British Commonwealth and the United Kingdom so uh it's nice that the world is talking about royalty because this is the time of Coronation of Hashem as well so the metaphor is very apropos so when this person is sent by the king to see the state of all of the subjects some take him at face value you're trying to fight the king we'll fight you some actually surrender to him and say yes we're with you and he says but then there is that place where the people are wise and deep and their investigation shows that there's something off he's not really an enemy and the contrary he's working for the king and that changes it all she says what's my point there's a profound messenger yes Sahara is there are people who wage war against the yet Sahara against what we call the evil inclination why because he makes believe that he is a servant who rebelled who betrayed his master and his job is to entice people not to fulfill the desire of the Creator and the king of the universe so foreign so they wage a mighty and ferocious war against them they stand up to the Atara and you know what they win they dominate him they control him like in the first regions of the country how they do it through all types of wars and battles he says including which is sometimes forms of mortification and then there are others who surrender to him but then there's a third option there are those people gishu who feel that actually the worst thing about the eight Sahara is that you think he said Sahara that you don't realize that he's actually a Continuum of the Creator he's fulfilling the will of the creator as I heard this from my teacher the having and you have to understand this this right away triggers our imagination what does he saying what does this metaphor represent in a person's life so he continues Tavern miles so here you ready we see the difference there are those who conquer the Yates through War there are others who conquer the Yates or two but without any combat zelkavanas it says in the fourth chapter the mighty person Yates Proverbs 16. um the person who has patience could sometimes be far more powerful than the Mighty Man and the person who knows how to control their own moods was a weird self-aware is more powerful than the Conqueror of a city for having said understand this Ecclesiastes chapter 9 UM some people know how to rescue the city through their wisdom in other words there's a wisdom here that I don't have to battle him because I revealed that he's not really my enemies not the King's enemy so what I need to do is access the true message behind this person and what's the true message true message is that really what he's doing is something that the king asked them to do on his behalf in other words there's two ways of looking at him externally he's rebelling against the king internally he's actually doing something that is a schlichus it's a mission from The King The King wanted to understand and appreciate who his subjects are so this is a way of examining who the person is and allowing the person to identify their true connections their true priorities Evra on the other hand yes you could say maybe there's an advantage in the first case because of their courage to fight says the wise man said that they once came back from battle and the wise man said okay now that you've finished the small War let's get ready for the big war he said what big were we just had a big war he says no no no inside war is inside the heart not outside that's what the Bible says you might say the first is more advantageous you know why because it takes courageous the reward is always based on the pay no pay no gain and because the battle is ferocious so their growth is much greater so maybe that is much better to identify him as an enemy and then you have to fight the other one doesn't identify him as an enemy he just sees him as an ally so there's no fight there's no war he says once he realizes who he is through his that he's really a servant of the king and he rescues his whole city meaning his whole body his whole identity and then there's no work anymore it seems not work he says the thyroid said but it's not so simple tells us even this wise person who sees the eight Sahara as a servant of Hashem and not as an opponent not as an enemy that you have to fight on the contrary you have to understand who he is it's not just a one-time event and you do it and you're done he has to always be alert always be conscientious and aware why because this servant who feigns and makes believe that he is a rebel and an enemy of the king even though he came between deep people who realize that he's a servant of the king is very often he goes in circles and comes from a different angle he does this perpetually but sorry so your thought process can get deceived because he comes in different forms and different mutations you know how viruses mutate right because your body builds up a defense system so if the virus comes the same way it won't be able to spread throughout the body throughout the cells because our immune system has already built the antibodies the mechanisms to fight over this virus so the virus goes through mutations and the mutation my body is unaware of and now it could permeate penetrate the cell and hijack the cell and the cell starts replicating that virus and it spreads throughout the body you know how viruses work yeah so this is what he's describing in his age they didn't know about viruses because they didn't have the microscopic instruments to know that a virus exists so bacteria exists or infections exists or germs exist they didn't exist not Corona and nothing else but he's describing the mechanism the spiritual mechanism the Atari goes through a mutation so the war still exists it's not a war against him it's a war with my how do I handle my own thoughts that say no no he is an enemy he is an enemy is an enemy because he's now coming through different mutations and you have to always ReDiscover he's not an enemy he's he's God's God servant and sometimes he can even entice somebody to do what looks like he's a Mitzvah great thing is he says it's like the bee you want the honey that the bee produces the problem is one can get bitten we tell the B I don't want your honey and I don't want your bite so he says sometimes the mutation comes in such sophisticated ways that it can entice a person to do something that would be positive and yet there can be a bite over there and then the person doesn't know who am I dealing with what am I dealing with and I always have to re reorient my mind and my brain to be able to re-identify this enemy as really representative of the king FAL Pisa nearly levia Union hallel there's an interesting piece and it seems very redundant it's close to the end of it says like this foreign all the nations have surrounded me in the name of God I will cut them down sabuni games they surrounded me and now they encircled me in the name of Hashem I'll cut them down they encircled me like bees him but they will burn like a fire burns the thorns so you have this redundancy but actually not twice three times three times he says they surrounded me then again and then again three verses in the Hallow tell them but also each time it's different the Palm alafness in the first posseck he just uses the word svavuni all the nations fully they surrounded me in the second Passage they surrounded me they encircled me and they surrounded me and then in the third person they're like bees so further why are you saying the same thing three times but each time you do it a little bit different now will understand call svavuni the Nations that surrounded me as a metaphor is this is entice the person to rebel against his master and emulate Nations that are alien to the master Hashem how do I cut them down through the name of Hashem how do you cut it down so he says I meditated and realized that in him in the enemy there is also hashem's name he is also carrying hashem's name he is really the servant of the king who comes to text the Persona he changed his language and he changed his cloak and therefore I could think that he's an enemy but if I could look beyond the facade and I could look beyond the tongue I could see that he's really an extension of the king when I realized that there's the name of Hashem in him when I can identify Hashem in him the enemy is gone because he's not an enemy anymore so now he leaves he can't get me anymore because I realize he's not against so now you think okay your job is over no war says there are mutations comes around from a different angle goes in circles he comes from another angle and says I am an enemy I am an enemy no you're a friend no I'm an enemy makes another mutation this is the enemy this is the enemy and each time I have to re-discover the truth there's no enemy um the second time again twice that's why you can have it in the first Posse because this is the mutation and another mutation another mutation another mutation how many mutations do viruses go through endless that's where their viruses thousands of years it's all the same virus that mutated and yes it just looks different same poor Force here it's in the positive he looks like a different eight Sahara there's a famous expression in Yiddish yeah the zelbyente andish yeah nobody knows this expression ask your grandmother they stopped using it in America but it was very popular at some point which means is just the Gown is different the outfit is different here it's in the positive sense you identify that the eight Sahara is really is not evil just feels like he's negative granted so now is Serenity says the problem is he redresses and this is a new gown there's a new outfit there's a new thought there's a new process and again I have to say I see hashem's name inside of you and then you have the third one the zouch that already came in a thousand mutations and you don't see it as a HR what does he do he does the last thing so now he turns himself into maybe that's how he'll get me he'll get me by making himself creates a Tafe vezel Chicago that's like the bee I'm gonna give you honey or McCormick still I'll see hashem's name even in you even inside of you I'll see it and therefore it won't create the chaos so a person always has to be alert this is what Consciousness really means to be able to have that consciousness of how to see of how to see this element now what does this all mean how does this apply to life how do we make it practical what does this mean so here let's see another two paragraphs and then we'll we'll be able to apply it much easier ubiartisa I explained this already and here he goes into the muscle he here he goes in the muscle with more length he says I told you about the metaphor that I heard I heard probably from the balsham there was a king and his his mouth was his royalty extended over many countries close and far Wellness he wanted to appreciate an understand of the relationship of the people with him is authentic it's true he sent one of his loyal servantsusina but he made him change his gut his his cloak his sus is your outfit and Lush in his language both His Garment and his language were saying that he wants to fight the king so the king sent him with a change of clothes garments and language to represent him how to represent him by saying and expressing the fact that I'm here to destroy the king for yes so the good people got up to fight treason you're married then there was another group they said why should we fight him if you're the new king we want to be good with you we'll become your servants you know what if you're success we don't have loyalties if you're the man we'll be yours we're fine we don't care we don't need the king we're fine it's a second group till he came to one region and there were very very wise people there Indian they started to investigate they started to listen to him they started to ask questions and they started to see cracks and everything whatever he was saying you know you see Craig you know when investigators start investigating this doesn't stim with this this is inconsistent with this if you're really really a rebel against the king something is not working they realize that his literal story is not making sense and they came to the conclusion that he's camouflaged he's really a messenger of the king lenasis to see and test and Elevate nasus means test and also Elevate the people see if they're going to rebel against the king so they came out to him and they told them this they said we know who you are we know who you are we're not threatened and he was so pleased he was so energized by their wisdom upon Allah and he left shall move on desire says a promiscuous woman that was hired and sent by the king to try and influence the prince in a negative way she and the King both want him not to listen to her because she's loyal to the king if he listens to her it's going to be painful for her too and yet she can't tell that to him because if she tells it to him it becomes a pointless experience so he hears from her that she wants him to be promiscuous what she's really hoping for is that he could see beyond beyond and understand that she doesn't want it in other words the way he will satisfy her is by telling her no well if he tells her yes it's actually a terrible letdown for her she's going to grieve hagam say yes but there's a very deep thing here and this is what I heard from my teacher about how we confess a shamnu we sinned we sinned one sec if they ate Sahara is a servant of the king so what does that mean it's the king himself who came to me as the eight Sahara but he changed his outfit and he changed his language and he came to conquer the queen but who came to conquer the queen I think it's an alien stranger that came to conquer it's an expression from he's told you're going to conquer the queen me in the house and Homan is killed but here who's Conquering the Queen the kingdom self but he's dressed up differently so you could think it's a stranger trying to conquer the queen and release the king himself Conquering the queen the die bozella Maven this will be enough for somebody who understands so why do we say no in the plural you understand what he's saying why very good I'm talking to Hashem and I say Hashem new we did this together I did it but somebody else also did it who's the other you you but God knew because I knew the Bible it's in the plural it's you and me Together We Were In Cahoots you know that you were dressed up and that's what that is what confession is what confession really is is we could think what confession is oh yeah I'm horrible I'm horrible I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry that's one level there's a much deeper level of confession that's what he says what is it the confession is realizing that it was you that you're behind it for whoever God this is a very profound idea I heard from my teacher I received from my teacher when a person experiences distress and the stress could come in many ways there's physical distress but there's emotional distress there's psychological distress there's spiritual distress but I'm in a very stressful Place what's called an anxious place a place of anxiety life if you could pay attention to the facts my that this anxiety this Tsar is essentially Hashem himself but it's dressed up in a very very dense garment when you know this you strip the Garment you see through it when this battle atsar and then the very distress becomes nullified when this because and that harsh negative decree I feel in my life opens up the Heritage my teacher elaborated on this with the words that came from the mouth of a wise man are truly truly gracious and here he says come back to Korea samsa for a moment now we understand why a middle of the Shira suddenly we start talking about Paris thoughts but he says look this is the one Posse in there that has five consecutive alephs Amar foreign consecutive hours is very real you don't have that the enemy said I will pursue I will reach I will distribute the booty um why aleph represents one aleph is number one right aleph is the first letter aleph also means Shalom the word aleph means aloof aloof is the leader the ruler the governor the general the commander so alif Islam the king of the world the ruler of the universe so he says my teacher said that um is five olives one second listen to the words my enemy said let me pursue them let me reach them let me grab their booty and distribute it that's pirate that's not Hashem so why does it start with an aleph that means that what seems like my enemy who's coming to fight the god inside of me really it's also Allah so aleph is dressed up in thoughts that are alien to aleph that's so strange he's my enemy he's saying I want to destroy you and I want to destroy the Divine in you no it's the Divine talking his language changed so his message could be very very very disturbing because like in the metaphor the person is saying we're going to rebel against the king and who's talking the king is talking through him he just told them this is the new language it's like the king talking through him so the Bible said it's five olives because each each word is coming from aleph but it's behester it's concealed in Kane so this is the main Shira this is this is the main part of the song what's the song foreign they felt Exile means that you feel that there's an enemy foreign the greatest moment of redemption is not that I got away from my enemy suddenly my oyev became my oi have yeah that's the five olives that's the five olives when I realized that it starts with an olive foreign our same genius and this week I didn't give it away in the beginning in the beginning what is it it's five olives that are concealed it's the enemy speaks have an enemy have a real enemy I'm fighting with a real enemy who wants to kill me either I win or he wins or I Surrender those that metaphor either I win or he wins the real ghoula was that I realized no the words sound like it's coming from an enemy it's really my best friend it's on oh yes five olives so what happens I realize that the very experience that seemed so harsh and negative and toxic he says Hashem this is the essence of Redemptive Consciousness this is the core of gula and what does he mean is the core of Gola the word is exactly the same word like goila goyla means exilement should be a different word now Exile and Redemption should have different words one should have a one word I want you to have another word it's exactly the same letters what's the difference being aleph that alephe so what turns goil into you don't change it you reveal the aleph in the goyla in the Exile I reveal the aleph and suddenly it became it became Redemption foreign don't think this is a story that happened then this exists in every person at every moment of the day for whose side because the story of Godless with Sam is not just the story that happened it's a story that exists in every person it's a state of mind there's a state of mind when I am in Egyptian Exile and golus and that's where the Apostle says before we say before the show for blowing it's also from Halal I mean her mates are foreign comes from the word matsar Mitra means Egypt but I'm coming with mates are made some means um constrictions and restrictions confinements Aram is between the between the restrictions is also a border right like walls with sarim mates are of your of your of your goal of your property it's where it ends sometimes a person is confined and confined in between wolves feel tight you feel uptight you feel butterflies in your torso I feel anxiety I'm feeling tight we feel uptight we feel crushed we feel downtrodden by the load of Life which keeps me down and tight it says that billum's donkey couldn't go anymore because it was a very narrow place and there was an angel in front there was a wall here and a wall there so literally couldn't do anything it had to crouch that's what God Bill I'm so upset so he says I call out from the mates are and what happens can I say answer me from a place of expansiveness so most people would translate I call from a place of distress and I ask you please answer me from a place of expansiveness he's saying it's really much deeper he's saying it's not I call you from a place of distress from the mates are I identify the Utica I identify the shame Hashem in the Mata it says unto him chapter 4. in Tsar in distress you have made me expansive wow the guru is not I left it Tsar the goal is but sorry you have shown me the expansiveness in the Tsar in the mystery in the Oya if you showed me the ayev not that I left it it's not there telling a story about para they're being grateful for the miracle of Christianity what's the great miracle of kriya samsov that we learned that the thoughts of the enemy the very thoughts of the enemy were really your thoughts and if they were your thoughts when there when we could see the truth it's not my enemy it's my friend and the colors became the ghoula so of course that belongs in the sheer that's what they're grateful for that the um I discovered that it's all five olives right to Europe or you have an oh yeah very good yes it's turning the youth into the hay Europe is also a very tiny point it's the smallest letter it represents complete restriction you can get a letter that's smaller than you'd right it's a seminal point I mean you can get smaller and smaller but at some point you're going to have some type of point and that's a youth it's an accrue that's called a nakuda it's a seminal point the hay is expansiveness the hay is an elaborate letter right the hay takes that you would and expands it in all directions in height and in breath and in depth the hay in all directions you have the roof of the hay you have the right leg over the head you have the left leg of the hay you have it also in breath so it takes the U then it expands it into hey that's yud and hey so that's the Min hameca can identify the bisham Hashem becomes the eye of the youth becomes the foreign because sometimes the divine presence shows up in the form and in the Garment of restrictedness that's the whole point the king is present in this man but he has a different outfit and he has a completely different language now what we're learning here what we're really seeing here is and and he identifies it what we would call in English a paradigm shift and he literally identifies that there are different paths it's not one path he spoke about this schlier of the king that comes to entice Rebellion what's the right thing to do one group which is very righteous says let's fight him they arrest him they incarcerate him and maybe they even subdue him and they're great Sadiq there's the other country who surrenders to him okay they show weakness they're not loyal we understand that and then there's the third level the third level they don't arrest him and they don't incarcerate them and they don't destroy him because they actually see him as an ally of the king the problem is there's going to be a mutation tomorrow it's going to be a new guy they'll do it again and the new guy will do it again is going to come ask me to do Mitzvahs but really but really it's also the ancient life it becomes very complicated of how many mutations he does and that's why he says it's not like only the first group has Courage the second this group also has to have courage a different type of Courage you have to have courage with your thoughts how you deal with it now I would like to phrase to phrase this Paradigm that is revealed expressing in in a personal and relevant emotional way in our lives there's probably a lot of different ways to extrapolate this idea to turn the youth into a hate to expand on it but I think this is one one possible formula I get many emails from lots of very interesting types of people from all over the world and not infrequent I can't say so frequent today but not that used to be more frequent but not infrequent I'll get an email from from very good people from good good you could see good people caring people God fearing people and they have a very strong complaint the complaint is as far as I'm just I'm paraphrasing different Expressions it's not necessarily verbatim but the idea people often write and that is it seems that so many ideas and they listen to my classes and I guess other people's classes and they say so many things really seem to contradict so much of what I thought was the right way of living a woman wrote to me the other day she heard a three and a half session I did with by Sherman Russell maybe some of you heard it a few months ago about education on Coach Menachem the Lakewood Sunday program with my friend Usher parnis and and Coach Menachem Burns we want together this person wrote to me a very long email or maybe three or four pages which is a condition an email I know it took me time to read and answer and the message was you know this whole thing of of she writes somebody thinks somebody asked me how I felt when I was a girl what's this whole thing of worshiping emotions Anaya Miser how do you feel you just said it's true right very good you're anxious really why are you anxious somebody asked me about my anxiety when I was a kid when I was a teenager somebody asked me if I want to go to therapy somebody even acknowledged emotions somebody even asked me are you happy are you sad why are you sad can you feel your body really I have to start feeling now when they're doing somatic therapy I have to feel my pain and process it and then honor it and have compassion and embrace it and now caress it and give it a teddy bear give it a lollipop you need to go out for a milkshake today Pilates yoga therapy more therapy the gym swimming a massage another one take a walk Journal dance there's a husband coming home there's laundry there's cooking there's kids there's Rosh Hashanah this is a little Distributors we put one foot ahead of another foot and we March forward we are soldiers fighting a war we're not processing emotions and in this person's world's words words the Gentile liberal Progressive agenda of turning everybody into a victim and turning everybody into narcissistic egotistical self-centered recipients of incessant therapy is destroying a generation nice email well put okay she was articulate she wishes she had that in other words she is completely unaware you're saying she says she might need therapy herself so imagine if I would write that back you need some her therapy what are you what what's the anger that's coming up for you right right my session with our triggered her terribly so I get such emails a few times a week of people and they're they're good people they're good people I can't say they don't trigger me but uh but that's my own stuff right but some of them are very concerned and and this happens especially in the world of Education especially in the world of Education the world some say you know we're around thousands of years and there was a method and the method was very very strict rules and the fact that we don't deal so much with emotions we deal with avidas Hashem you serve God and then there's this whole new philosophy tune into the child understand the child make him feel seen soon secure safe really whoever saw me well now some people see me but I'm not sure that's the type of seeing that children need they don't need a billion people to a million people 100 people to see they need one or two people to see them really their primary caregivers somebody soothed me somebody made me feel safe and we made me secure and everybody has a story and how about your grandmother you know what your grandmother went through who sue there who sued there you know what she saw around her you know what your mother saw you know look at her learn from your mother and now suddenly we feel guilty sitting in America and Muncie Sierra bass or wherever you're sitting right and this person is in therapy I feel anxious I feel anxious because my son told me XYZ really and how did your mother feel in 1946 with her anxiety if your mother would have gone to therapy in 1946 thousand years of therapy wouldn't have helped MS what they do they moved on they set to heal him they had a moon and they created beautiful families did I trigger you that's true just joking just joking I know you have a job some people work for a living oh so like in everything that's when you're dealing with emotions and you're dealing with avoid this Hashem and you're dealing with people's lives and you're dealing with growth growth you know black and white statements are usually very not authentic because they just they're very superficial different views sometimes opposite views each have seeds of Truth in them like there's a famous expression you know every idea every philosophy there's something there you can extract a seed of truth from it and conversely and that's obviously truth true and when we hear different people expressing different opinions we always want to ask ourselves is there something I could learn from doesn't mean somebody who learns from the people that he likes that I identify with then I don't have to be a Hakim for that I listen to the people I like means every person can teach me something every person in other words the person who I disagree with can also teach me something even if he triggers me that itself can teach me something the fact that you're triggering me so badly wow that's interesting what am I afraid of that's what Azo that's what a real but here I believe in this piece of the top of the Sacrament in the name of the balshamtov we have an extremely elegant model to really appreciate however Generations evolve the told us Yakov Yosef said there's two ways of dealing with the at Sahara and he didn't say the first way is not true the first one isahara is saying bad things it's saying destructive things what do you do you fight it how do you fight it however you can one way of fighting it is putting it in a closet and closing the lock one way of fighting it is punching it in the nose and making it so bloody and wounded that it's literally disabled it's a vegetable it's not going to come back so fast maybe it'll recover after nine years you'll punch it out again for another 20 years another way of fighting it as he says is Tiny is visigotham I really weaken it I weaken it I mortify myself there were people who fasted and fast enough fasted until their bodies became so like it didn't have a say anymore what's the common denominator in all of these the common denominator is there's an enemy of the Rebellion there's an oyev and they say Sahara and you gotta fight him and if you don't fight him he will take over your life and destroy it emotionally physically spiritually psychologically MS but sometimes those are the tools I have sometimes those are the tools I have there's an enemy here and the way is turn away suppress repress hide lock up get angry beat him up and say don't come back and for two weeks you won't hear he'll come back you'll beat him up again those are the ways now this is all happening inside anybody here ever suppressed an emotion don't all answer at the same time did your mother ever suppress an emotion anybody ever get angry at an emotion don't all answer the same time please did anybody ever get angry at themselves really Jewish Mothers did anybody ever feel guilty about what they're feeling and we start arguing with ourselves why am I feeling this way I shouldn't be feeling this way I should be proud right I'm probably not diving enough I'm not saying enough to heal him I'm not doing enough Mitzvahs I'm not like my bubba what are all those thoughts those thoughts that don't stop especially in the minds of some of us right and it's called incessant mental chatter you familiar there's like a narrator who's always this and that doesn't stop you think I'm bad that guy is much worse doesn't stop doesn't care if there's cameras there's no cameras in the middle of the night the middle of the day could be after your child's wedding after them amidstv always chatter always commentary it's like CNN on 24 7 commentary sometimes it's Fox sometimes it's CNN far right far left Michigan and always commentary and always finds the problem and the floor and then there's the right and then there's the counter argument because you're smart so you're busy we're busy no you're wrong no it was nice it was a nice summer no it wasn't Noah was nice now you get a call in the morning your sister knows the most beautiful in the world and you tell the guy I told you was nice yeah your sister-in-law wants to flatter you because she wants you to do a Chevron next month no she's an honest person really she's honest what happened last week if I miss you and your husband this goes on for like 70 years you know that right either it's this person or that person or that person but what am I building I'm busy dealing with an enemy and the question is how I deal with it how effective I am how ineffective I am usually ineffective and some of us as he said some people reach unbelievable Heights with a Muna with bitachen with Fila with discipline with sometimes Simplicity sometimes you had a good mother you have a good mother Larry because a good father good Role Models good friends a good spouse blessings and they manage it they manage it the Tor de sac of Yosef though tells us that there is another way of avoid that and that way of avoid he says that's where real ghoula happens another way of avoid is very different that real ability of complete complete acceptance of every nakhuda that comes into me by understanding that even though it's screaming amaz [Applause] ing if you could remove its facades and you could listen to it beyond the external verbiage and the external garments you will see that it's actually here to be able to teach you exactly who you are what you need to become how you can become that person and where there is dissonance in becoming that person so that I should be able to work it through what does this mean practically what does it look like you know every few years there's different uh models of healing that come up in society from different psychologists and different therapists and different neuroscientists and different neuropsychotherapists different models different models mostly Jews fascinating the world of psychoanalysis belongs to the Jewish people and we understand why if you're not Jewish why would you need psychoanalysis right you could just be happy and and and normal so either we go to therapy we become therapists uh we become psychiatrists and we we need psychiatrists and usually it's both one of the very very interesting ones that was developed in the 1980s but recently it seems like to have gained tremendous momentum is from a doctor a school PhD or a Jewish fellow his name is Richard Schwartz and he developed a system called IFS internal family systems now he's a very traditional and skeptical scientist and doctor and not an energy spiritual guy he's a Jewish fellow comes from a family of scientists and he became a family therapist trying to help families work out stuff and as he started that process he started to realize how every member in the family affects other members in the family it's not just about me this is me it's me in the position and in the presence of my brother and my sister my other brother and my mother and my father Etc and realizing how those connections could be wholesome can be damaged and how it affects everybody but from there he realized as he writes that what happens with families happens within each person in other words there's a whole family inside of me and in his words and I was very impressed by this because it's literally he doesn't he probably doesn't know it but it's literally a quote from the Tanya he says one of the greatest mistakes of modern psychology and Sciences we believe that people have a mono brain we have one brain and that brain is supposed to think a certain way and now when your brain is thinking differently you're like what are you doing and you're going to convince it he says that's not true we don't have one brain we have many brains or we have many many parts to the brain and different parts of the brain are going to think in completely different ways and just because yesterday I thought like this it doesn't delegitimize the fact that today I'm thinking completely different there's different parts of me and each part has something to say but here's the tragedy you know Tanya it says we don't have one Consciousness we have an official Bahamas we have a mammalian soul and we have a reptilian soul and we have a cognitive soul and we have a Divine Soul there's literally different parts of the brain and they speak differently but it takes it one step further which also for me was very impressive because the language is constantly used in the in the swarim of the balsamtv and his students especially the balotanya and he says what often happens he says there's a core self and the core self is always always untainted and undamaged the core self is always full of compassion and creativity and it's curing and it's confident and it's courageous the nine C's and it's happy it's joyous and it's not fearful in a good way it's not fearful and it's really full of a desire for deep and meaningful relationships and it's kind and it has a deep deep wisdom and sensitivity but what happens is as a result of life's experiences big ones are small ones that piece can go into exile and he names it Exile in all the swarm of kabbalahs the term for the core self hidden is called gallus and what happens is different parts in our systems develop themselves and they become protectors not letting you go to the Exile because they're afraid that if your inner self comes out you are going to be in danger so here is a very simple example I'm going to give if as a child I couldn't feel love even though I craved it so painful how do I deal with that pain how I'm trying to get love every child needs love and I don't get it how do I deal with it so very often I may come to the following conclusion I'm not deserving of love why am I not deserving a love because I'm not deserving of Love of course I can't get it I don't deserve it and then the pain is not so deep why am I not deserving of love I'll come up with enough philosophies I'm too crazy I'm a troublemaker I'm a Russia whatever it is the real child who so wants love goes into exile it's hidden if somebody tries to give me love as an adult I will get so angry at them why my protector has to protect me that inner child that's going to come out and is going to feel the need for Love Got Me destroyed when I was four years old I almost died from heartbreak my protector says I'm gonna protect you little y or little Dwight Allah or Steve or George or Helene I'm going to protect you there's also firefighters firefighters means if somebody does get close to your Exile they put out the fires and they create a situation marriage has happened people are 50 years old 60 years old 70 years old 40 years old they're married 20 years 30 years 40 years they're triggering each other and it's really really a four-year-old's Exile that's being protected by my parts I have to get angry we have to get resentful I have to detach from you I have to because if not I will die my protector really believes that he's doing it since I'm five since I'm six since I'm seven don't get angry at the protector what looks like I ate Sahara is really somebody who's trying to help you survive but this is the language he knows you have to understand and you have to say come let's talk let me hear and suddenly you realize the person is one a person is a person is hashem's infinity flows through everything but sometimes there's a disruption in my own consciousness so everything I'm calling Sahara on a much much deeper level is not bad at all it just needs to be understood it's trying to protect something it's trying to put out a fire in its mind it's trying to cope in the best way possible to avoid death crazy pain insanity and a catastrophe this needs a lot a lot of inner self-awareness this is not uh I know I'm like you know throwing all this out this is not a one minute exercise and I can do it today but tomorrow a different protector emerges that's the age Sahara coming back and back and back and you know what the worst thing that happens is I call it a Sahara if I call it a Yeti what happens I get angry at it I suppress it I'm gonna kill you don't kill me I'm your friend I'm not your enemy I'm your friend you just have to understand how I am trying to ultimately protect your life so that you should be able to become the person you could become and if you can realize that what happens is we can talk to it and let it open up space and say I'm going to protect you I'm not two years old I'm 50 years old I'm 40 years old I'm 60 years old I'm going to protect you I know what you're afraid of can I talk to my exile can I talk to my nashama can I talk to that child it's very emotional everybody starts sobbing but the part gives space sometimes there's 20 Parts who are ready to attack it's like I get you thank you thank you I love you you protected me 40 years can you give me a little space I want to talk to my Exile I want to talk to my protector and the Exile needs to come out the Exile needs to come out from ghosts needs to come out from its Triumph needs to come out from the mate sir and in the process the protectors could start dancing and reassume the function that they were designed to have rather than obstructing my soul they were there to play a very interesting part in the Symphony of human nature because a healthy family is a family with its integration a healthy system is a system with its integration like a symphony a healthy emotional system is all the parts interact with each other everyone has a role to play it's all anoid malvada even that yet Sahara that horrible horrible guy in me that's causing me all the pain in the world and all the stress all the anxiety and I hate you and I'm angry at you and you destroy my life we know those voices right you don't I know all those voices they're horrible voices they're horrible voices the tallest is a sign that you can fight them but you can also do something else you can look inside of them you can embrace them don't judge them acknowledge don't become a victim of the outer facade this is not a message to surrender to the eight Sahara this is a message to look what is beyond the language and the facade and you'll see that there's no Detachment from Hashem inside of you no part of you is detached from the source I have to say that he named his recent book Schwartz named his recent book no bad parts no bad parts I looked at it like the mishna says ultimate vision of yadishkar is the eight Sahara becomes like the Yates was a great kabbalist he said Hashem is but that's a second stage in tikkon that's a good type of Taken it's no quiet in my mind in my mind it seems to me when people criticize a whole generation and say this is a generation that's obsessed with emotions because everybody became narcissistic and self-centered and selfish and everything is i i i iPhone iPod iPad I I and if there's a game called we it's spelled with two eyes it's how I feel and I feel and I feel I do feel it just feel I'm miserable I'm not miserable who cares if you're miserable I once asked my grandmother she was at today because I said are you happy she looked at me like I literally fell off a planet that's like 29 billion light years away since when was that part of the equation she said in Yiddish you know what that means it's a beautiful expression so I said what should I do instead she said it was brilliant I loved it and she said you see I followed her advice it's important to understand that as Gallas was so thick and dense you have to admire you not just admire a door and look up to generations of generations of soldiers who did not allow negativity toxicity pain endless pain to destroy them after the Holocaust would have been easy for everybody to say we're never getting married again the word who couldn't get married Ellie Wiesel for years refused to come and say I'm going to bring children to a world that was ready to gas billions of children and nobody said a word why should I bring children to such a world let us die out and that's it we know cultures of people who in pain become suicide bombers Jews could have done that they didn't they chose life they chose love they chose Faith they chose rebuilding families and communities did it come with a price of course it came with a price came with a big price it's called Hitler's long arm and it's way before Hitler came Holocaust Survivors children know exactly what happened in their houses some of you grew up with fathers screaming in the middle of the night people who saw what they saw all you could be is an awe and reverence of what they did with the Brokenness that they experienced all over the place some of them never spoke here you never spoke for years people didn't speak you know for years nobody spoke there were even survivors have told me that for decades they were embarrassed to say they were in Auschwitz imagine it became a source of later after Eichmann was captured it became much more popular and then it became you know they were respected but there were years I heard from Elie Wiesel himself and others they said they were embarrassed to tell people because people would like look at them why didn't you fight back oh sure everybody could just fight back a woman with six children going to the gas Chambers could fight Hitler's Army of 80 million the or the reverence is important but I want to go to the other side there comes a time that's closer and closer to gula and when there comes a time that's closer and closer to Google invites us into a new model and not a new model just another layer of the model and that says ultimately you want to usher in a life and a world of complete Oneness School ghoul is realizing that all those voices inside of me oh my it's a Horus every single one of them if I could look deeply if I could become truly aware of what's happening and this is hard work but it's the real work suddenly instead of becoming a source of embarrassment that actually becomes a source of enlightenment somehow in each voice of anxiety and distress in each voice of even promiscuity in each voice of of of anger and each trigger and each trigger there's a little mashiach and each triggered as a little ghoula now this doesn't mean I'm triggered let me punch let me let me break the window that's not what he's saying he's not saying the trigger is Holy the trigger is containing something very very deep something very genuine something very authentic I don't have to suppress you don't have to repress and if I'm being triggered by that itself that trigger is also a path to Redemption and the fact that I'm being triggered by your triggers and I'm even being even more triggered by the fact that you told me you were triggered that's fine I don't have to fight I don't have to fight we could relax we could stop fighting well mashiach comes when the Gula comes there's no fight so he says start living a reality where you could stop fighting you can really really embrace and embrace all those parts now we're not used to it what do you mean stop fighting I eat fights he says let me just tell you don't think there's no fight it's a different type of fight you know why because here the fight is of how to embrace my thoughts rather than fight them that's a fight peace can be the hardest fight of all you know that Making Peace sometimes is very very hard making peace with my enemies hard not easy to make a peace treaty can I turn to all parts and say Trevor I want to make peace I love you it's hard it's hard to make peace inside of myself especially when he's going to come back tomorrow and say I'll prove to you that I hate you and I say we're good give me a hug and tomorrow there's going to be another mutation and then he's going to come like a bee with honey so that's a shamnu what's a shamnu a shamanu is we get up one way of saying Hashem new is we the community sinned another way of saying Hashem know is every sin I did was because of my eight Sahara the real Sin was the real mistake was I didn't realize that it was you I thought I'm a horrible person I thought I'm a sinner I didn't realize that it was all you I didn't realize that the um was really really a manifestation of some form of a Divine message I didn't get it I just saw it as my enemy and I got locked up further and further but if I could say a shamro my real Sin was I didn't realize it was a shamnu I didn't realize that it was all you and therefore I got into this rut the shrut of alienation that itself is the most healing component because if you were there it means ultimately that all of it is part of my growth all of all of it is part of me embracing myself and you all of it is part of our relationship have a wonderful week to one and all may Hashem fulfill this year all of your heart's desires and it may be a year of inner and outer kaullah thank you this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at www.theyushiva.net donate