If It's a Divine Flame, It Never Destroys - Likkutei Torah Shlach "Inyan Hatcheles" #2

The Yeshiva.net If you come to somebody and say here, I want you to live this life and as a result of living this life, you won't exist anymore. You have to give up your existence. You have to give up your individuality. You have to suppress everything that made you you. The Miragalam said this is a terrible, terrible thing. And the echo of what they're saying, we could still hear today. As people often say that Judaism or God, the religion or Torah or mitzvahs or whatever it is that they particularly define as uh a great challenge for them or a great trauma for them is so difficult because I was never taught that I was allowed to be me. In fact, there was no room for me. There was no me at all. There was no me. I was never even I didn't even know that I am, that I exist or that my existence has any value. And uh not only that but for me to think that my existence had value would be a denial of God's existence. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. We'll have to try. Right. So, this is the big time of the Miragalam. Eretz Yisrael Yishuvah bitul destroys. It obliterates. It kills who wants it. But the Bal Hatanya says, the Alter Rebbe says that this was a lashon hara. As he puts it, Miragalam shakranim hayu. Miragalam was not saying the truth. They were saying a sheker. And for this he bring he brought the Zohar in parshas Bereishis where the Zohar says that it's really the other way around. What's the other way around? So, let's see if I did inside. Aval be emes ein okay. The line starts be emes ein okay. You see page 90 daf mem hey amud gimmel. Aval be emes ein okay. Be emes is not true. Why is it not true? Ki ad rabba, it's really the other way around. Ad rabba means the contrary. Ikar ha chiyus hu ha bitul. The main source of chiyus is the bitul. Not only is it not that bitul doesn't destroy, af ke'erch ad rabba. The main chiyus is bitul. Ve ein a bitul memitzusom legamrei chas veshalom. It doesn't mean destroying. Bitul doesn't mean chalilah, he says chas veshalom on it. It's interesting. Chas veshalom means heaven forbid to say that bitul means destroying the whole metzius. So, it's chas veshalom. Ad ke'dei kach he uses on it chas veshalom. Vesham shaini shoyel einish. Over there by the malachim, it was a particular einish, a punishment. Al kein is bitul memitzusom legamrei. Mashechin bebitul denishmas Yisrael ad rabba. Al yedei ve'atem advekim is chaim kol hayam. By denishmas Yisrael is the opposite. Through the atem advekim baShem Elokeichem, through the dveikus in Hashem you would think that that would spell the opposite of chaim. Bitul, you become nullified. So, the pasuk says no, even though ve'atem advekim is chaim kol hayam. Ah, you're telling me it's a fire and fire whatever you put into the fire, the fire consumes, the fire obliterates. It has to become part of the fire. So, therefore ve'atem advekim baShem the Zohar would say, if he's a blue fire, a black fire he destroys everything that's in the fire. Nonetheless, we say here it's chaim kol hayam. You become more alive, not less alive. You become more you through bitul. That seems like a paradox. So, why are you calling it bitul? You're telling me that through bitul you become more you, not less you. You become more present. More alive, more intact. Your existence is intensified. Your existence is consolidated. So, a peler, what pshat, what's this machlokes here? Ba'tam, the reason for this is kemo shekoisev baZohar sham. The Zohar explains over there in parshas Bereishis, tachazi. Come and see. He's going to quote by the Zohar there with Aramaic words. Kol inun delela deleila, all those who are above ba'u unohirei tichla iskalelun. They become absorbed in the blue fire. Aval ta'toyi, but those who are below, lav hachi. It's not that way. De'inun mila gasa, because they are brute material. Uvegin kach and hence achal veshatzei loy. The fire consumes them, obliterates them. The Zohar makes a distinction between two types of reality. Hareini mevuar what we see from here denohirei tichla, blue fire loy achal veshatzei. Doesn't eat up and doesn't shatzei. Shatzei means destroy. Doesn't shatzei, doesn't destroy. Rak mila gasa. Only that which is thick, which is brute, which is gas. De'ainu hayeish deklippas noiga, which is basically the ego of what we call klippas noiga, the shell shehu davar zar legamrei which is completely alien velo yuchal kavul bechinas malchus. And therefore can't be absorbed in the fire which we called malchus. Keim idei bitul mulsoi. Only by nullifying his essence shekol ha'oyel leya klippa. Because you need the klippa to be obliterated. You need the klippa, the shell to be removed. So, therefore what you're looking for is the bitul ha'klippa. The shell should be removed. Mashechin inun deleila, but those who are above, sheim bebitul desiter degedusha. Essentially, they're part of holiness. Af al pi shemiskalel bechinas malchus bebitul. Even though they become included in malchus with a state of bitul. Im kol zeh, einam mechaleh oisan chas veshalom. This bitul doesn't destroy them. Keim zeh tachlis shleimus metziusom. This is actually the ultimate perfection of their reality. It's the greatest form of self-actualization. Chas veshalom to say that it destroys somebody. It's tachlis shleimus metziusom. It's the ultimate shleimus. It's the ultimate self-actualization. You hear what he says? What Alter Rebbe says here? The efshar, it's possible shezeh inyan ma'areh ha'sneh shehe'era Kodesh Baruch Hu leMoshe. This is a tough extraordinary interpretation now. This is the image of the sneh that Hashem showed Moshe. This burning bush, the sneh. What happened? The ksav, the pasuk says ha'sneh bo'er ba'eish. The burning bush, the bush, the thorn BUSH IS BURNING ON FIRE. IT'S ON FIRE. BO'ER BA'EISH. VA'SNEH EINENU UKAL. But the sneh is not being consumed. What's this funny miracle here? What's the point? U'kemo shekoisev Midrash Rabba Shmois. The Midrash Rabba says in Shmois on that parsha, parsha Beis, mikon amru, from here they SAID HA'EISH LEMA'ALAH soreifes ve'einah chalahs. Heavenly fire, the fire above, godly fire, how do you know it's godly? It burns, but it doesn't destroy. So, how do you know, how do you distinguish between godly fire and ungodly fire? Ungodly fire burns and destroys. Godly fire soreifes ve'einah chalahs. That's the sneh. The image of my shots never that's what the matter just says that the snake is strong. Snake is a metaphor for the Jewish people. The snake represents the Jew. THIS JEW IS BUT HE'S NOT DESTROYED. TO SAY THAT PEOPLE means he's destroyed he says on the contrary not only is he not destroyed that's why he must be He becomes more alive through the fire. He becomes actualized or she becomes actualized through the fire. What do you say what do you want to say? That's what the guy said it depends what depends what. That's what that's the distinction he made yeah. In other words the shells the shell and the husk that's blocking his Russia that the fire will remove. So let's let's explain let's explain. What's the question with the snake? There were many throughout the whole Hashem reveals himself to many people and he communicates to many people. Constantly. He speaks to Adam speaks to even speaks to the snake. Speaks to speaks to but there's a lot of people who have interesting interesting people who talk to God. Speaks to speaks to yeah all the Abraham Jacob. How does God speak to How does God speak to them? How does speak to them? I don't know how does he speak to them? He speaks to them. He communicates to them in a way that they all felt that it was God speaking to them. Suddenly in speaks to my show. Could have spoken to him like he spoke to everybody else. He was in the desert by my show. Right? He said go back to Egypt that's not what happens. There's a whole display of fireworks. It's a whole So I said He sees a snake and snake and snake. He says hello I stand hold. And the obvious question is what was the point of this? He didn't need fireworks. He didn't need fireworks didn't need fireworks he spoke to them he spoke to them. Here suddenly a motion needed this whole image. That's what's perturbing the matter what there was a point here there was a message so the is being here that this miracle wasn't just a miracle to impress my show you know. It was the message he wanted to tell him. It was this was part of the communication. What was the communication here? Remember that my show was about not only to go liberate the Jewish people but to turn them into an Hashem. This is the beginning of the kingdom of Russia. This is the beginning of Hashem this is the beginning of Martin Luther. They're not only leaving Egypt as a free nation they're going to a mountain to accept the mandate of Moses they're entering in they're entering into a covenant with the children. Here there's a big question in life. And that is you're taking me out of bondage you're taking me out of slavery you're taking me out of to put me into a new of Adam. You took me out of prison to put me in a new prison. Right? You took me out of and you're putting me in in a new prison a new trap and in many ways the new prison is worse than the old prison cuz in the old prison at least I could run away somewhere. The new prison you can't run anywhere even in the bathroom it's quite a there's nothing you will do that you won't get punished I feel like I'm going to be not. Right the way you tie your shoelaces will hold you accountable for the way you cut your nails is discussed the way you go to the bathroom. He at least didn't go doesn't come to the bathroom he doesn't have cameras in the bathroom. But Google is in the bathroom also. I have all of my senses everywhere. So here's the big question. You want me to leave and you want to do me a favor to take me out and what do you want to do here? Put me in a whole new office. A couple of oil a yoke of a hand. A couple of hands and a lot of them you're my Adam. That's the big question my show's going to now what's his purpose? The answer to this was the snake. What does the snake represent? He's burning the snake is burning the snake and the oak. And that's the question that's being raised here and this is the debate between the people. The way the understands the perspective of the versus the perspective of Joshua and call of etc. And it's all in the vision of the snake. And the big question here is when a godly fire burns does it destroy or does it not destroy? That means if you're being taught Judaism or you just got and the person giving you that fire you're feeling that you're being destroyed that means it has nothing to do with godly fire. If it's a mile it's it puts you on fire but it's you don't get from it you don't get destroyed from it. If you're getting destroyed from it nothing to do with godly fire. If it's that has to do with with with Russia doesn't destroy. It never destroys a person ever. It never makes a person feel that they don't exist. It never makes a person feel that they're valueless. It never makes a person feel that it's garnished even less than a at least is to my mom. You're so bad you're not even to my you are the mom. You're the you're a very mom. A big small big big that's big big that's a but this is this is about this is about this. The was created for you. But not only that you are the everyone comes into you to go to them. Huh? I said it's not a question. If there'd be a result we'd deal with you do we talk about you this we don't even deal with you. I said it's not a compliment. I understand. These types of messages don't have to do with godliness they're a distortion of godliness. WHY A MILE AND A SNAKE AND AN OAK? This was the first vision not to not to only to my show why? Cuz my show's the one who's going to communicate the whole time to the Jewish people. He's going to turn them into an Hashem. The question is what is the destiny of God what does a nation of God look like? Do they look like a bunch of zombies? A bunch of people who don't have an existence because their motto is and what's is is I cease to exist. So the first vision to my show is what you're trying to create is you want to give people a fire. The snake and the snake and the oak. When you're standing on holy soil there'll be a fire but it won't consume it won't obliterate it won't eat up. So in the say they're going back to that image. They're saying that's not true. Maybe the snake but all of us. It's going to do all of us is the same word eats up it kills you. He eats something it's gone the food is gone yeah. I said this was in horror. This was a shock. I it's a fire that's the distinction. Those things that don't belong to they they're basically a clip or shell so you want to get rid of the shell. Once you're dealing with something that's truly holy then the doesn't destroy it the perfects it. The lets it become who it really is who it's actual what it's it allows it to actualize. There's a beautiful story that somebody once told it to the was a grandson of the his daughter's the daughter was Leia. She passed away very young and he raised his he raised her baby it was a son. He later succeeded his father in law the middle So, the Tzemach Tzedek was once sitting and somebody said he wants to tell him a story about his Zayde, about the Baal Hatanya. The story he told him was that somebody once brought the Baal Hatanya a gift, a zilberne shmek tabak, pushkale. You know, shmek tabak is a snuffbox. We use snuff tobacco, you shmek tabak. And somebody brought him a gift, a beautiful silver, real silver, pure silver box, pushke, with the tobacco in it, which he could snuff. So, the Baal Hatanya took it and he said, "Se da ein ever in guf versus nishke Baal Hatanya." "Vus der solche unstoppen mit taiva." There's one part of the body that is not a glutton, and that's the nose. The nose is a edele ever. So, we have to turn that osem into Baal Hatanya. So, he tells the Tzemach Tzedek, "Can you say the broke off the box of the snuffbox, the box the silver the silver the cover the lid, and it was it was pure silver, so it could be used as a mirror. And he used it as a mirror for his tfillin shacharis in the morning before davening." That's what he told the Tzemach Tzedek. When he said over the story, he said, "Your Zayde broke He broke the lid of the box to use for t- So, the Tzemach Tzedek told this person, "This is the loshon hora. The Zayde is nish gewen shaya tzu brechen. Nish zich unish yena. Elamai er darish genumen der chud hamachaber fun der michsamit der kufsa, der mailer is es nifrigeworen ot es ich ken mit tfillin. My grandfather wasn't capable of breaking. He didn't break himself, nor did he break others. There's the hinge. There's the hinge that connects the cover to the box. The pin, the pin. The chud, he removed the chud hamachaber, the pin, and then he could use it for tfillin. That's the mice. If you think about the story, the guy said that the Alter Rebbe broke. So, not he wasn't shaya tzu brechen. Not himself, for who's talking about breaking himself? Who's talking about breaking? I'm talking about breaking a box. He wanted to use it as a mirror, it's not bal tashchis. He wasn't shaya. The Tzemach Tzedek was trying to say something. What was he trying? He was trying to bring out, I think this is the good And that is, whenever you read or you hear the concept of bittul, the concept of shviras halev, all this, if what you're hearing is if the message you're hearing is that the objective is to destroy yourself or to destroy your children or to destroy your students, then it has no connection to Yiddishkeit. This is the miraglim's Yiddishkeit, the loshon hora, and it's a sheker. He uses two words, loshon hora and sheker. It's slander and it's a lie. And that's why it's destructive. Lies are destructive. What is it then? It's the opposite, he says. Not only is it not the loshon here is in the ma'amar, not only that the bittul eino mechala oisen chas vesholom, zo tachlis shleimus metzius. Because let's think about it. What's the idea here? If you take bittul as self-destruction, self-obliteration, self-annihilation, that's what bittul means. The miraglim are right. You exist, God exists, I want you to nullify yourself for him. Er it's a chellus yeshiva. What says they're wrong? Where they wrong? Or to put it differently, he's a fire, you go into the fire and the fire destroys you, that's it. That's what it means. What does it mean to be an eved Hashem? To be an eved Hashem means you don't exist, he exists. You're a slave, you're a servant. There's no you. So, why are you telling me that bittul is tachlis shleimus metzius? The ultimate of his metzius? What's the ultimate? Where's the ultimate? I don't I don't care for your metzius, I want to destroy you, that's what a fire does. What is this vast nine in the world come? The pshet is that means we're not toyfus what kedusha is all about, what godliness is all about, what Yiddishkeit is all about, what the whole nekuda of bittul is. And here you have to distinguish between two parts in the person, and that's the Zohar's distinction between the elyon and the tachton, or as he puts it here, between the dover zar, the min beshe'eino mino, the alien thing that the fire destroys, which he calls the klippa, shekol lavay dilcha klippa, this klippa goes away in the fire, and then there is inun delo ela, those are connected to kedusha, bittul never destroys them. Anybody wants to explain what the how they understand this in their own lives? Isaac, du verstehst was der Baal Hatanya sagte? What's not possible in reality? Huh? No, this is even bittul hayesh. Here he's talking about he's talking about the blue fire, he's not talking bittul. Bittul be'atzei mavada, he's talking here even bittul hayesh. And also not destructive. Also not. He's talking about bittul hayesh, blue fire. No, he's not talking about bittul be'atzei. He's talking here in this ma'amar tachlis is bittul hayesh. He's not talking about bittul be'atzei is already shita that it's not destruction. The chiddush here is bittul hayesh. So, a little hesber, at least one nekuda. It has to do with one yesod. And that is when I say the fire is consuming this reality, the fire is obliterating this reality. Ve'atem hadveikim baShem Elokeichem chaim kulyam Not only does the dveikim not make death, the dveikim makes chaim. He's not saying that bittul is not destructive. That's half the problem. That's half the issue. He's saying here is the chiyus COMES FROM BITTUL. FARKERT, WITHOUT BITTUL THEN YOU'RE DEAD. WITHOUT BITTUL YOU'RE DEAD. WITH BITTUL YOU START TO BE SOMEBODY. SO, IT'S PUNGA FARKERT. NOT only it's not pshet that bittul doesn't mean destruction, that you're nobody, farkert, without bittul you're nobody. With bittul farkert, he says that that that's called the chiyus. That's the atzmus kedusha. That's called the main chiyus. Why? What's what's the yesod? The issue has to do here with how you define the self, how you define the truth of a person, and how you define of course when you say Hashem or godliness or kedusha or Torah or Yiddishkeit, all these things. Again, how you define you and how you define God. That's the key issue here. If those issues are not redefined, then you can't understand what he's saying. So, this is all based on a certain premise, how you define you and how you define Yiddishkeit and how you define Hashem. And very often whenever there's conversations about this, the problem is not the conversation, the conversation becomes people can't communicate because their definitions are different. Imagine you and me are arguing if this particular person was at the shiur today or not at the shiur today. The problem is we have two different names for him. I think his name is Moishe, yeah, you think his name is Yankel. I say Moishe was here. Yeah, he was not here. The problem is you have a different name for him. You understand? So, we're arguing and arguing and we're not arguing. That person was here. This is my name and your name are different names. It's extremely important to understand. Somebody says, "God is this, Judaism is this." We may not be arguing. A Jew once came to the Baal Shem Tov and he said, "I don't believe in God." So, he said, "The God you don't believe in, I also don't believe in." Very deep. We're not disagreeing. The God you don't believe in the chole baichus is the name. In fact, THAT GOD, THANK GOD YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN HIM. Thank God you don't believe in that God. That's a question. That's a question. Different identity. It's a whole different definition. The same as the word bittul, you hear the word bittul, two people hear completely different things. Why? It's not based on the word, it's based on their paradigm. The same is true with the expression Kabbalah Shamaya. So, what is this different paradigm? The side of the door is as follows. The truest truth of a human being, or as he puts it here, the Nishmas Yisrael, the truest truth, the core reality of Nishmas Yisrael, of a human being is that he or she is divine. That he or she is part of infinity. That he or she is part of ain sof. That's the truest self. That's the true identity of the human being. Therefore, becoming absorbed in the fire of the divine is not destruction of self. It's actually the realization of self. Because the self and the divine are one. They're deeply connected. Since your Mitzvah is Dveikus in Hashem, that Dveikus gives you life. Imagine the body gets upset one day. The left arm turns to the right arm and says, "You know, I'm fed up." What are you fed up by? I'm fed up by the dictate dictator. He says, "Who's dictator?" He says, "In the brain, there's this little jello in the skull. They call him a brain, yeah? Mit ein shtois, with one punch, can I put the venom in that? And he sits here in the brain. I got to tell you tells me what to do. All day, do this, do this, do this. Pick up your hand, lower your hand, go here. That is a blow. FREE AT LAST. LET FREEDOM RING. We're getting rid of him. And the guy is like nobody. He thinks he has it from his father's, father's, father's, father's. He's a tiny little jelly. He has no more host. Nothing, no personality. What I'm telling you, one punch of my fist, he's done. He's a little stickle jelly. So, what do they do? They drill a hole into the skull. They chop on the dictator, yeah? And they throw him into the garbage. We're free. You know what happens? Completely free. He's got all these kind of the whole body can call the condition. Shorter. The brain is not the dick Your brain is not your dictator. Your brain is your life. So, what do you mean, he's controlling me? The mistake is you think you're separate. The brain is the organism. The whole body is an extension of the brain. There's no two separate Mitzvah in The body The brain has what's called a central nervous system. The identity of every limb and organ of the body is an expression of the brain. The brain is not here to dictate the body. The brain is the body. The body is the brain. So, one is just two voices. It's all one. Hopefully, not even two voices. Two voices is something else. It could be in the brain, a lot of voices, but that's already a whole other issue. In the brain, there's many voices. I'm talking about the relationship of the body and the brain. So, now you'll say, "I want to be free. So, therefore, I want to separate from the brain." It's the other way around. By aligning yourself When there's a separation between the brain and the body, we know what that is. It's called paralysis. Stroke. It's a terrible illness. It's the end of a person's life when there's a complete separation. A partial separation, it's a horrible situation. When you're completely aligned with your brain, you're completely aligned with yourself. You are a manifestation of the brain. In other words, the brain is the life of the body. When the brain tells the body to do something, it's not the brain telling the body somebody else to do something. The brain is one and is allowing the body to be. The brain tells the body how to grow, how to function, what to do, how to protect itself, what not to do, and so forth. But for this, you have to understand that there's complete unity between them. If you don't understand that, then of course, the brain is a dictator. So, now the question is what's bittle? If you understand Elokus, godliness, as being God is in heaven and he's some type of dictator, and he sits on his throne and he says, "Do this, don't do this, do this, don't do this." Then the Mitzvah will say, "What do you need it for? Stay away from the fire. It's going to eat you up." But what happens if the truth is that your Mitzvah is Elokus? Your Mitzvah is Kedusha. Your whole reality is divinity. Then, the more bittle, the more oxygen. Real bittle means alignment. You align yourself with your true self. When you align yourself with your true self, you become more intact. You become more of a person. You become more alive. You become more expressed. Your whole depth comes out. Where does the fire destroy? When you have a shell. If I have a clipper, I have a shell, a husk, that's not me. It covers me. So, the problem is I can't access me cuz I have a clipper. Then I need the fire to burn off the clipper, the shell, the husk, in order to be able to have me. So, now let's give a document a person's life. A person is having some serious challenges in their life. They come, they want help. You speak to them, but you see something. What do you see? You see that there's a tragedy here. Tragedy here is the person define themselves in a certain way. And based on how they define themselves, they live in a position in which they're very, very stuck. I'll give one example, a very simple and very common example. There are people who cannot be vulnerable. Cannot be vulnerable mean they don't feel they could speak the truth of what they're feeling. Because it's too ugly. It's too embarrassing for them. It's too shameful. Anybody in this room? They can't do it. They can't spill the beans. They have to show a perfect image to themselves, not only to other people. Other people for sure, but even to themselves. But that causes tremendous pain. Because if they don't break down, if they don't break down the truth, nothing can happen. They're living in a in a behind a glass wall. And they could never come out. And they have to maintain that wall at all costs because they feel without that they won't be able to survive. They probably did this a very long time ago. Huh? They're not them. Yeah, and they can't they they're they're not in touch They can't be in touch. And it But they they know it on some level, and that's why it causes so much pain. There's a lot of pain there. There's a lot of upsetness there. There's a lot of sadness there. There's a lot of grief. But they sometimes live their whole life in that strap, in that box, and they'll never go out. And things annoy them terribly, but they can't even figure out what's really happening because they're completely not in touch with themselves. This is based on the fact that they have an image of themselves that is completely not connected to who they are. They built a substitute self, and they live that story. They're not living their own story. You ever go to a wax museum? They have in Britain and other places wax museums where they have people. They momish look alive. They have a full statue of wax of the person. And uh There's only one problem. It's wax. It's not real. I knew somebody. I knew this guy, and he smoked a lot. Yeah, and somebody once took him to a wax museum. And the Churchill is holding a holding a cigar. So, he goes over. He says, "The host fire?" You have fire? He wanted to light his He wanted to light his cigarette. Cuz he looked alive. He was It was hard for him to be mafkin. Some people they look at themselves in the mirror. There's a whole person there, but it's all wax. Where is the real person? Somewhere, somewhere deep, deep, deep hidden away. And they got married that way. The wax person gets married. The wax person has children. Everything, it's wax. The wax person is is good good Huh? The wax person does tries to have shalom bayis, goes to therapy, learns, davens, thinks he's connected, but there's no he. It's all wax. HE HAS PAIN cuz he's not really wax. If he would be really wax, it would be good. It would be good. Wax people don't suffer. Problem is he's not really wax. If he could make If he could make himself completely wax, my toiva, my noyam, it's much easier, and it's cheaper also. Question. Yeah. The soul Which part of you is asking the question? The soul. The body cannot cannot live without The brain cannot function without the soul. The soul is the only one that gives highest to the brain. The soul is one with Hashem. The soul is one with Hashem. Now, how come the brain The brain gets the highest from the soul? How come the brain listens to the soul? How come the brain listens to the body and not the soul? Okay. The truth because the body is really also divine. The body is also godly. The body is also divine. In many ways, the body is godly than the soul. The goof has a shoidish in the kishkes that's even deeper than the neshama. But I don't want to the foolish dekanize because we it's it's an important idea to address, but it's not for right now. But thank you for bringing it up. So this person lives there and it's all because they were forced to make a story about themselves. They cannot deal with who they are. For whatever reason, it's too much pain, it's too much grief. Probably they think that if that person comes out, the whole world will hate them, will shoot them, and they will drop dead. And they want to live. At least a wax as a wax person I could live. Now you know how much energy you have to invest in maintaining that personality. Do you know how much? Do you know how much koiches? You know how much That's why Jews are geniuses. You know how much genius and creativity you need to survive? And not only that, you also want to have this oirus. You don't want to tell yourself that you're not inspired. You want to tell yourself So now you needed a wax person should also get inspired. That takes up the whole muchadish. So now you have to manipulate the situation that you're feeling YOU'RE FEELING THIS OIRUS ALSO, BUT THAT'S ALSO PART OF THE WAX. So now you understand the pain of what people go through. It's very very profound. What do you do? Where do you begin? Where do you begin? Here the aish has to get rid of the clip. If you don't get rid of the shell, if you don't get rid of there's nobody to talk to. Here I can say you and the fire are one. You're not there yet. You You're complete clip, a complete toss. You have to get rid of the shell. That person has to be able to see it's all a shell and throw it away. BURN IT UP. NOW WHEN YOU come to this a person, what's going to happen? Now the bittle won't destroy the person. If I care. Now the bittle the devekus with Hashem will allow the person actually to be. And not only to be, but to be fully. What says to be fully? To be more than they even imagine they are. Because you imagine yourself to be small, to be limited. And here you become actually a chelek eloka, you revealed as part of infinity. So it's tachlis shleimus metziyus. Any thing in life that you cherish becomes actualized in a much more powerful way. Any skill that's worth holding on to, any dimension of you that is true through elokus will become accentuated, it will become magnified, it will become actualized in the profoundest way possible. It won't be destroyed. That which doesn't really make up you, that you want to get destroyed cuz it's it's it's wax. That which is you, that which really belongs to you, that which you own, that bittle never destroys. What it does is it allows it to reach its ultimate potential, to reach its ultimate crescendo. It's a whole different a whole different concept. Huh? Yes, melts the wax. The shells are created based on on things things that happened. Yes. The things that happened are always true. What we make of ourselves as a result of that has to do with our own interpretation of those facts and those stories. You understand what I'm saying? Somebody comes over to a person and said if somebody comes over to me, yeah, after the shear today, and says today you struck out. Sometimes you do well, but today you were really you put me to sleep. Right? That's a fact. What do I do with that information? One reaction could be oh, I wish I could have slept by the shear. I'm glad you got sleep. I would have liked to slept by the That would have been one reaction. Another reaction would be uh okay, yeah, maybe he's right, man. It's It's good to think about. You know, was it good? Was it not so good? Did I strike out the A third reaction would be I'm never teaching again in my life. I'm never opening up my stupid mouth. Why do I come here? A fourth reaction would be this guy is a lowlife, an idiot, a shaita, a felder, a peda adam, a zach, a ferdish, a ferdish, a ferd. You see the last two reactions, what are happening? The facts are the same. He said what he said. But the interpretation by the person who heard it is completely different. One is okay, he said what he said. You went to sleep, fine. You're lucky. Or you know what? Maybe it's It's interesting. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong. I should find If I could correct something, I should correct. But then there's a whole different mahalach. He certainly made me question my whole identity. Am I alive? Am I not? So either I kill him, I'm an idiot, a shaita, a meshugana, a soynei Yisrael, the biggest anti-Semite to ever existed. Right? Or I Or I could Instead of killing him, I kill myself, one of the two. But somebody has to die in the process. What happened? You understand? The facts are the same facts. What the facts do to you is a whole different thing. So people experience certain things in childhood. As a result of that, they develop a whole picture a whole picture, who they are, who they're not, who the other people are. And you don't question that when you're older. That's a given. And you just live your life that way. They have nothing to do So your whole identity may be molded by certain stories into a self that is just your concept of self, nothing to do with yourself. Of course. Everybody. And we react to everybody as though they think that way. We In fact, we don't even hear what anybody ever says. All we hear them saying is our own story THAT FITS THAT STORY CUZ ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T fit into it, I don't register. So all I hear is that which fits into that cuz that's emes. I don't even hear anything else. And if I hear something else, I say wow, this guy's really evil. He mamish probably has such plans. He's not even showing his true colors. Completely in a prison. And then you get married and all you hear your wife saying huh? Back to shalom bayis. All you hear your wife saying is that which fits into that story. Or all you hear your husband saying. I don't want to discriminate against men. Works both ways. Right? You don't even hear anything else. And as I gate and gate and gate and Now imagine somebody speaks to you about bittle now. What do you hear? You hear what you ALWAYS HEARD. OH, I'M NOTHING. I always knew I'm nothing. He agrees that I'm nothing. God for sure agrees that I'm nothing. Right? And that's it. I'm a chaya, wonderful. But it causes you a lot of pain. Right? In the loshon of one of our dear members of this shear, he said it's the shulchan aruch which is the cause of the trauma. Just the word shulchan aruch, the word shulchan aruch is the trauma. You don't need any Doesn't even You don't have to say what it says. When the guy got up at the bimah, the rav, or the maggid shiur, whatever, and he says so do I learn in shulchan aruch. He didn't have to go further, but you knew trauma is coming. Because the next paragraph would not be the halacha in shulchan aruch, love yourself. He knew that's not coming. Embrace yourself. Be a happy person. God loves you. Live life to the fullest. He knew it's going to be something else that he's doing wrong and he's going to be in gehenna for many years over a new one. So it's like, okay, next level of gehenna. Come on. Just let me have it. And he wonders, he says, why weren't we just born into gehenna? Why do we have to live and die in Just create me in gehenna. I'm a chaya, I'm a What do I have to live my whole life that I'm going there? Just go go go go go there. IT'S SUCH A BEGINNER. A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THAT. A lot of people do that. Right? Then they come to a shear and somebody says this is not true. It's not Judaism. He said this must be a precursor. Here we go again. How can it not be? My whole life this is who I am. This is my trauma. Suddenly there's something else. Something is off. Something is off. Right? So here you see here you see as somebody once told me I said once at a shear that the translation of bittle is not self-nullification. The translation of bittle is alignment of yourself with your true self. So he said, of course that's a precursor. So this person who said it to me, here you have a mind in the kuta taita. The Baal Hatanya knew very well what a frum a Yid is and what shulchan aruch is. He wrote shulchan aruch. And he knew what halacha is and he knew what he did mitzvahs is and he knew what gan eden and he knew what gehenna is. And he says here a psak din that if you say bittle is mechala, it destroys its hashem shalom. What you have to hear in bitul is that it's tachlis shleimus metziusah. If not, he wasn't toifes with bitul is. He was probably was not toifes with In other words, whenever you hear word bitul, you hear a word God, you hear a word kabolas ol malchus shamayim. You hear a sifrei chinuch, you hear a Mishnah Berurah, you hear Shaarei Teshuvah, you hear Reishis Chochmah, Mesillas Yesharim, Minchas Chinuch, Sdei Chemed, Maran Rabbeinu Yonah, HaNefesh HaChaim, Noam Elimelech, Kedushas Levi, Avodas HaKodesh, Mayim Chaim, Amor Veshamash, Avodas Yisrael, Ayeles Hashachar, Moshiach, right? What's that? Avodas Chinuch HaTorah, Alei Shur, whatever Maggid Devarav LeYaakov. And what you're hearing what you're hearing is self self-obliteration, you're not hearing what the person is not saying. You're not hearing Torah. You're hearing something else. You're hearing a distortion. If you're hearing words that allow you to fly, to soar, to dance, to feel that your true reality is being expressed in the powerful most powerful way, now you know you're hearing bitul, you're hearing Elokus. If you're hearing aish, Moshe Hashem is telling Moshe, there's going TO BE A LOT OF PEOPLE WAS VELAN SHITEN FIRE PECH VACHVEVEL. THERE'LL BE A LOT of darshanim, there'll be a lot of teachers of Klal Yisrael who will be fiery. But let me tell you the clock. IF THE FIRE DESTROYS, IT HAS NOTHING to do with me, nothing to do with you. IF IT'S MY FIRE, einai ochel. Nobody gets eaten up. If people feel they go away and they feel less, it wasn't my fire, it was another fire. It's another fire, nothing to do with me. If it's my fire, people don't get destroyed in my fire. People are born in my fire. They come to life. They're resurrected in my fire. They come back to life in my fire. It's a whole different experience. Um a great singer he Okay. Al os nisht. What is the difference? Al os nisht. It's the same It's the same words. What is the difference? It's how you accept it. Yeah. What he's What he wants to tell you. Yeah, you You asked a good question. It's the same words. It's the same words. It happened by what? It's the same words. But it's min hakatzala katza. Sometimes a person could say to somebody, I love you, and what he hears is vas vella fun eh. A gan avash chakna. What's her agenda? What's the agenda? What's next? You understand? Same words. And then another person melts. And then he gets abused. And then he gets abused, you hear? That's why you can't melt. That's why you can't melt. You're going to get abused. And we know who the biggest abuser in Judaism is. We're not going to say his name. But his name is mentioned too often. So imagine, and then the biggest abuser says, Veahavta es Hashem Elokecha, dafs dem leib hoben a nacha. He enslaves my whole life, subjugates everything, lost men IN SHLAFFEN, LOST MEN IN SHTAFFEN, dafs dem leib hoben, and if not, your aish is going to burn. Worse than abusing somebody is telling somebody you have to love the abuser, you know that, right? That's the worst. You have to respect me, fear me, love me. So if we don't heal from these definitions, it becomes very very painful and traumatic. What's oi? So that's a different aish. The aish of the sneh, it's fiery. It's a brand, it's powerful, there's passion. Something is no passion. But einai ochel. Huh? We're page 90, daf mem hei amud gimmel. On the top it says shlach. 90. Shlach. Yeah, on top it says shlach, yeah. We're middle of the page. The line starts hasna einai ochel. In the middle of the page you see vasna einai ochel. Mamash in middle, this line starts with vasna einai ochel. As we discussed, we started we learned this line yesterday. So, So we have in summation the debate between the meraglim and the truth. The meraglim tained, and their claim was that Eretz Yisrael, the land of the Jewish people, which means the land of Yiddishkeit, the land of Torah, the land where the vision of Judaism ought to be realized and expressed in the most profound sense, which is what Eretz Yisrael is. It's not just a land where Jews live. It's a land that is Jewish. Not every nation has a land, so Eretz Yisrael happens to be the Jewish homeland. That's not the Eretz Yisrael. Eretz Yisrael means the land is Yisrael The land is a Jewish land. We see in Parshas Bechukosai, velo saki haaretz eschem betamacha meisah. The land should not spit you out, it shouldn't vomit you when you contaminate it. In other words, the land is a sensitive land. As Rashi brings there from the tochacha, that the psura toiva is that when you won't live there, the land will be desolate. That's the psura toiva, that if Jews are exiled from Eretz Yisrael, it will not blossom. In fact, you see through Jewish history that many many empires and regimes and governments tried to settle Eretz Yisrael, but never successfully. It ultimately remained a barren desert. And throughout all of history, the Jews managed to make the desert bloom and blossom. The Sfas Emes says on the pasuk meirosh surim erenu umikvo'os asherenu. Bilaam says in two weeks in next week's parsha, meirosh surim erenu. From the top of the mountains I see him. So he ties surim are the mountains of Eretz Yisrael. Meirosh surim, when I look at the top of the mountains of Eretz Yisrael, erenu, I see the Jew. When you look at the topography, when you look at the soil of Eretz Yisrael, you could see the imprint of Nishmas Yisrael there. When you look at the land, the mountains of Eretz Yisrael, you could see erenu, you could see Klal Yisrael there. In other words, there is an organic connection between the land and the people. So when the meraglim say eretz ocheles yoshveha, they're not just talking about a land. This land, which represents the ultimate realization of Jewish life, it's ocheles yoshveha. It destroys its inhabitants. It looks to destroy its inhabitants. Why? Because the tainus of meraglim is that the whole vision of Judaism is destruction of self, annihilation of self, nullification of self, or in the word that's being used in this maamar, bitul, the fire, Hashem Elokecha aish ochela, he is ocheles yoshveha. You put something in fire and it dies in the fire. You can't remain intact. There's nothing left of you. If you want to remain intact, stay away from the fire. If you want to get lost, if you want to dissolve into nothingness, if you want to fade away into oblivion, if you want to disintegrate and decompose, go into the fire. Religion is the great destroyer of self, of individuality. This is the view of the Maragnum of the Spies. That's what we explain. And the Balatanyas calls them Shakranam. They were liars. They were Ali Lo Shinhara. This is the Lo Shinhara about it as well. Why? As he brings at length from the Zohar Parshas Bereishis, that it's really the other way around. That the definition of bittul is not is not key loya and it's not the consumption, the destruction of self, chas v'shalom. On the contrary, what is it? It's tachlis shleimus metziyusa. Bittul does not destroy the soul. Chas v'shalom, heaven forbid. On the contrary, it represents the ultimate realization of the self. The soul reaches its ultimate self-actualization and self-expression through this process we call bittul, through going into this flame. The klippa, the shells over the person, the husks that cover up the truth of the person, the identity of the person, that takah the fire removes, that the fire has to destroy. Because as long as the klippa is not destroyed, then the person is not in touch with himself. So sometimes you need a fire to get rid of all the layers upon layers, all the cover-ups that block your true self. Once you're in touch with your true identity, with your true self, not only does the fire not destroy him, on the contrary, it brings out the deepest core of the self. Va'atem hadveikim ba'Hashem Elokeichem. You would think dveikus and fire, when you cleave to fire, that's the END OF YOU. CHAIM KOKH MAYAH. The dveikus creates chaim. The dveikus creates more life. That's the important distinction that he makes. Where do you see this in Yiddishkeit? He says the first vision. The first vision of Moshe Rabbenu, which was the vision of the sneh, is vaya'ar v'hinei ha'sneh bo'er ba'eish v'hasneh einenu ukal. You're on fire, but the bush is not being consumed. So there's a lot of different remasim, what was the message of this vision? And the message that he brings out in this ma'amar, incredible interpretation, incredible idea, that the first vision to the first manhig Yisrael, the one who was going to turn them into a nation and give them Torah, and turn them into a mamleches kohanim um v'goy kadosh, a holy nation, a divine nation, the am Hashem of atah v'chartanu mikol ha'amim, the first prerequisite for the whole shlichus and the whole mission and the whole revelation was what? That ha'sneh bo'er ba'eish v'hasneh einenu ukal. Eish shel maylah sorefes v'einah ocheles. If it's a godly fire, it burns. What's pshat it burns? It ignites passion and love, as he's going to say, but v'einah ocheles. It doesn't eat you up. It doesn't destroy you. It doesn't turn you into a piece of nothingness. Eish shel maylah sorefes v'einah ocheles. And if it's a fire that does eat you up, if it's a fire that does destroy you, it means it's not a godly fire. It's not a heavenly fire. Ah? So you're asking a good question. What about the term kabbalas ol malchus shamayim? Accepting the yoke of the kingdom of heaven. L'chora'ah, by definition, a yoke Ah? crushes a person, controls a person. You put the yoke on the person and you say, "You're in this yoke." So l'chora'ah, that's mamash shlilus d'amitzus. Anything he's saying here, where is that tachlis or shleimus metziyusa? That's a very good question. You can carry the torch What do you say? You can carry the torch doing that. You can carry the torch doing that. Yeah. The answer to that is I'll give an example. I'll be clearer. If somebody You see an interesting distinction. Prisoners have people who run the prison. They're called prison wardens. And they're tough. They're usually very tough. And if you don't behave, they could put you in solitary confinement. They can punish you, penalize you, lock you up here, lock you up there. When you finally come out of prison, when it comes out of Rosh Hashanah, you don't call up the prison warden and say, "By the way, I'll always remember you the son of Tova bas Tzadok v'Sarah bas You send them when you go on vacation, you send them a postcard and say, "I'm thinking about you and how much you impacted my life." You leave that place and you try to press delete forever. You'll see an interesting metziyus. A young man goes to the army. He goes to the army and he has a commander in his platoon. And the commander whips him into shape of an ishtam. If he wakes up late, he has to do 300 push-ups. And if he jogs a little slower than everybody else in the 23 miles, so he has to stay up at night and do uh and do chin-ups. Oh, does he whip him into shape. And if he wakes up 10 minutes late after 5:00 a.m. for the morning exercise, he has to do 900 push-ups. And he really beats him into shape. And then when he leaves the the the army years later, he always remembers that commander. And when he sees him, he gives him a hug. And before Rosh Hashanah, he calls him up to wish him a good year. What's the difference? The difference is, we all understand the difference. Both treated the people under them with toughness. They didn't let them get away with anything. The function of the prison warden was to destroy the prisoner. He wants to make you feel like a piece of garbage. You're a number, you're not a person. That's why they call identify you by numbers. You're not even a person. You don't even have the dignity of having a name. In prison, you're a number. That's all you are. And everybody is has a number. You and him are exactly the same. There's no individuality. In the army, the function of the commander was he wanted to turn you into an exceptional soldier. And you know that. You become a mensch. You become disciplined. You become powerful. You become courageous. He wanted to destroy your fear, your laziness, your insecurity, and you know it. Did he put a yoke on you? Of course he put a yoke on you. Was that yoke there to crush you? Or was that yoke there to maximize you? A good personal trainer. You have two types of personal trainers. One guy says, "Oh, you're not in the mood of it. Okay, forget it. Don't do it. You want to finish 10 minutes early?" That's not a good personal trainer. A good personal trainer does shvitz. And you're cursing him out b'shas ma'aseh. You're like, "The worst thing that ever happened to me." But you pay him. And then you go back to him again. Why? Because you know what he's fighting is, he's fighting your klippa. He's not destroying you. He's destroying your fear. He's destroying your resistance. You understand? He's destroying your shells. He wants to bring out your true capability. I'm talking about a true trainer. Some trainers don't know what they're doing. They're just, you know, just looks good. It just has to look good. But we're talking about a real a real trainer. Let's now understand this practically in a person's life. Let's say you have a trainer who's been training you for 20 years. Under him you lost 120 lbs. You lost 120 lbs with him. He turned you into a mensch, healthy. Your cholesterol went down. Your sugar count went down. Your adrenaline is up. You're an energetic person. And this was a week in, week out or day in, day out. After 20 years, one morning you come for your session and he tells you to do an exercise. The exercise seems very strange. You have to turn your head in a particular direction 3 1/2 thousand times. Whatever it is. Okay, he tells you. Would and he tells you, "This is the way it is." You say, "Why?" He says, "Just do it." A normal person who's been with this guy 20 years and he turned them into a healthy human being, he'll listen to him. I he may not understand why. Okay. He knows this guy is an expert and he trusts him. That's more important. First of all, he knows he's an expert. Number two, he trusts him. He doesn't I he's not in the mood of doing it. He doesn't want to do it. He thinks it's ridiculous. Okay, but he trusts him. A doctor, you're going to your doctor. Your doctor's been your doctor for 29 years, you and your wife and your whole family and your mother and your father. 30 years, he's a family doctor. And you have an infection and he gives you a prescription and you go to the you go to the pharmacy and you pick up the prescription and you start taking it and it's horrible. You it's horrible. Are you still going to take it? You call the doctor, you say, "What are you doing? And this prescription, could you explain to me how this is going to help my infection?" The doctor says, "If you want to understand, you can go to medical school for 12 years. The problem is if you wait 12 years, this infection will spread and you're going to die. So, I suggest first take the medicine and then go to medical school and figure it out." You know, they used to say why you can't read doctor's prescriptions. Why they never eligible? Cuz basically, he's writing to the pharmacy, "I made my money, now you make your money." But the truth is even though I can't read his prescription he's my doctor for 30 years. He did me well. He was there for me and my kids and my parents and my siblings and he knows what he's doing. I cannot crank. I trust him. What happens if I'm walking in the street and a person comes over to me and says, "I need you right now to turn your head in a certain direction 3 and 1/2 thousand times." Right? Or he gives you a prescription, he says, "Go take this medicine, it's very important." You say, "Who are you?" He say, "Don't ask these questions. Kabbalas ol." Kabbalas ol, you listen to me. "Or get down right here in the middle of the street, I want to get whip you." You say, "Why? Who? What? What?" Kabbalas ol. If you do it, then you're crazy. So, why the doctor gave you a prescription, you listen to him. The personal trainer said to do it, you listen to him. This person in the street tells you to do the same thing, you don't The answer is very simple. The answer is very It's a different between the prison and the commander-in-chief. Here, it's a person I know. He's my trainer. He loves me. He cherishes me. He cares for me. He's helped me. He's been there for me. He now tells me to do something. I may understand why, I may not. So, what? So, I don't understand why. I may be in the mood, I may not be in the mood. I may like it, I may not like it. The medicine may be gishmak, it may not be gishmak. Turning my head in this direction 3 and 1/2 thousand times may feel good, it may feel boring. BUT I KNOW THIS PERSON and I know that he's out for one agenda. He's one agenda and that is I should be able to live a good life. So, I'm going to listen to him. Sometimes, I have to challenge myself. Sometimes, I may not understand exactly what's the purpose of it. Sometimes, I'm not in the mood of it. But if I don't do it, I'm actually being quite foolish. You get what I'm saying? Kabbalas ol has two words after it. Kabbalas ol malchus shamayim. Kabbalas ol doesn't mean I take a washing machine, I put it on your shoulders and I say, "Gay, walk." You say, "For how long?" I say, "For the next 48 years." And chodesh elul, we put on a second one. Rosh Hashanah, SEDER TESHUVAH, YOM KIPPUR, WE PUT a third one. And you say, "What's this?" I say, "Kabbalas ol." And you say, "Okay." So, you carry washing machines on you. Then you're a fool. You're a fool. Kabbalas ol malchus shamayim. A whole different experience. There are yokes that destroy you and there are yokes that express you. There are yokes that crush you and there are yokes that actualize you. There was a poet who once said a beautiful, beautiful line. He said, "Take a violin." I want to share a story about this in one of the basics of emunah classes, but the insight is simple but beautiful. Take a violin. Anybody here plays violin or guitar or cello or the harp? You play violin? Take violin a violin and then you'll see the chords of the violin are tied down. Emes leni? Yes, sir. The chords of the violin What were you thinking about? I'm just wondering. I don't know. Supper and You were thinking about supper at 7:27 a.m. The chords of a violin are tied down. Emes, they're tied down. Huh? The strings. The strings of a violin are tied. Person looks at the strings and says we know that I reason says that even in doimum, there's a nefesh and even in a string, you have billions and trillions of atoms. Why do they have to be tied down? Let me take a knife, a scissor and cut the strings and set them free. And the strings will declare, "Free at last, free at last, let freedom ring." Why abuse strings and hold them tied down? Let them go free. The problem is you can try to do it and the strings will talk and be free. They will not be chained or tied down and you'll take them outside and if there's a beautiful breeze outside the strings will start swaying and dancing and celebrating with ecstasy to see their new liberation and freedom. The only challenge is this violin will not produce any music. Music from this violin will not come. The violin will turn into a dead satska. A shmata that you could put in the dustbin and it's worthless. Why is it worthless? It's a piece of wood with a few strings. Like the marshal I said you take the brain out cuz you don't want to have a dictator. So, what do you do? You have a whole body. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE BODY IS WORTH? A shtick fleish. You could sell it to a cannibal to eat. That's what the body is worth. With a brain it's not a shtick fleish. It's an organism. It's a lev dikaguf. It's a bal chai. You get rid of the brain, YOU HAVE EVERYTHING THERE, but there's nothing alive. You cut the cords, they're all free. But there's no music. Take a life. Take any life in the world. A life is a violin. Vahaya kinagen hamenagen bateel ol ruach Hashem. We once learned from the magid. Rebbe Yehuda Halevi says, "Ani kinor leshiraich." A person is a violin. A person is a harp. If the chords of the strings are not tied down there won't be any music. What does this mean? If a person everything goes by a person. Nothing is tied down. There's nothing that's off limits for him. Whatever I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want, how I want. THERE'S NOTHING TIED DOWN. It seems beautiful. It seems promising. The strings are flying all over the place. My music won't come out. I could become a whole new slave to my own worst instincts. Nobody tells me what to do. I'm a free person. But there's no music. For music to come down For music to come out, you need chords tied down. Every person knows this in life. Whatever field you're in and any type of success you're in, whether it's in the world of business and in the world of academia, certainly in the world of ruchnius, the world of Torah there's no music that comes out if there's no discipline in life. If I eat whatever I see right? MY STRINGS ARE NOT TIED DOWN. I NEVER SAY MYSELF NO. BUT my music won't come out. I'll become heavy, I'll become lethargic, I'll become stuffed, I'll become sick, etc. etc. The same is true with any other any other field in life. So, is this discipline does it crush the violin? Or it brings out the violin. The violin instead of being a piece of garbage, a piece of wood, is now a beautiful violin. Never mind if it's a Stradivarius which can go for $10 million, right? A Stradivarius violin. Suddenly, you tie down the cords and it turns into a $15 million shtick uh oitzer. Without it, it's a shmata. Like a shtick fleish. Mama's a shtick fleish. That's the difference. Kabbalas ol malchus shamayim is a bittel. But it's a bittel that brings out the metzius. It's not crushes the metzius. You typhus? Seems like everybody has a different tolerance for discipline. Some people Same discipline for one person will crush him and another guy will thrive. It has to be tuned. You have to tune the violin, of course. Kol chad lefi shur dilay, of course. The Mishnah Gemara in Menachos, some people is vagisa bayom uvalayla, day and night. And another person is perek echad shachris, perek echad darvis. One chapter in the morning, one chapter in the evening. And that's mitzvas talmud Torah for him. The famous sugya in Menachos. Seems like society's always pushing us to do more and more. And when when do you know you're How do you temper yourself? have to have a good mentor and a good friend and and be honest with yourself and so forth. So, I was krechtzing. Too much I'm putting too much pressure on you? No. I'm trying to take off some of the guilt and the pressure. And people think about what you're saying. They want to crush you. That's the point. Yeah. Boot camp, yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. The boot camp on one level destroyed them, but it it gave them it it built them up and it creates such a camaraderie between soldiers that lasts a lifetime. And it's not easy. And the objective has to be to turn that person into a real soldier. If the objective is to destroy the person, then you're lost. And I'm sure there are those who do that, too. But that's the objective. Of course. Of course, I'm sure. As we know. As some of us know. I'm not trying to romanticize here boot camps. Some boot camps are very destructive places. Some parents send children to boot camps, teenagers to boot camps. It's a ludicrous decision. Sometimes it's helpful. Sometimes it's very destructive. I'm trying to bring out a point that sometimes you challenge people very profoundly, you turn them into greats, not into midgets. Moral midgets. Of course. Huh? I'll be done. But even for people that it works, you have to know how to present it. How it's presented is very important. Is it presented as as a privilege? Is it presented as something that is is really here to bring out the best in you? It's coming out of absolute love and caring. Or or it's it's I I couldn't care less about you. I just couldn't care less about you. You don't exist. I know what you mean it works. I don't know. Listen. Generally by this year we don't speak about individual people, we speak about ideas. And everybody has to apply the ideas to their lives. To get into this community and that community and this and that and that and that and ain't no double sight and everyone has a lot of opinions and perspectives and emotions run high in this room when it comes to Rebbes and Kehillos and Chassidim and Tishn and this. But we try to focus on ideas. And everybody could see how these ideas of Torah, in other words, of Chassidus, of the Baal Shem Tov, of the Alter Rebbe. And everybody could see how these ideas apply. How it works with all those people, I don't know. Every person is a whole universe, you know. Some people may be thriving and some people may be very frustrated and some people may feel very enslaved, but they're worried for their children's shidduchim. And some people may feel that this is my Olam Haba. And some people may just be so tortured they don't even know what torture is. I'm sure there's so many different types of people and categories of people. You're right. You're right. You're right and the you have to know you're you're right. If you have kids in those schools, you have to be very in any schools, not only in those schools. Any schools, you think you think other schools are just paradise place? Every school you have to identify what the school does for your child and what do you how your child is doing in the school. And you know, some places are not for certain children, there's no question. And you have to take your children out of that school, put them in different places cuz they're not doing well. For whatever reason, it could be biological, it could be chemical, it could be social, it could be the people who are staffing in that school. And the worst thing is to make a decision not based on the benefit of the child, but based on what the community is going to think about you. I mean, that's where I think many disasters happen when we stop making decisions not based on the child's needs or based on what's right, based on what's principled, based on what's going to do well for this child to become a diamond, but everything is based on externalities and impressions and outer pressure. I think that's that could be challenging. It always starts with yourself, of course. It's it's starts with yourself, yeah. So they're doing something right. Do you want to answer him? But the parent I don't I I don't know. I I don't know these numbers. I don't know the accuracy of these numbers, 90 and 10. But first of all, even if that's the case, the parents of the 10% have to take care of these kids. You don't say 10% let them go la azazel. We don't Nefesh Achas MiYisrael is Olam Malei. There's no Stalin once said, "One death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic." That's how Stalin thought, you understand? The moment we become statistic What's the word? Statistician? Statisticians, then we become dangerous people. This is not a religion of statistics. Doesn't work that way. Eglah Arufah means that the whole earth is strong when crazy cuz one man died. The Sanhedrin Gedolah had to come down with with with with measuring stick, with measuring you understand, measuring. The top people, imagine there's a there's a homicide somewhere in Bedford-Stuyvesant or some farkakte place and and and Donald Trump and the whole White House. Okay, if I'm past, but everybody has to come down and start measuring and this This is why you have a local police department. But Eglah Arufah We we're we're not a religion of statistics. Of It's first important the majority, but every Yachid has to be accounted for. That's even if that's true. Exactly 90-10? I don't know. Again, I'm sure there's a lot of ways of looking at it, a lot of perspectives, a lot of things that work for different people. I hear. My ex You're trying to make yourself feel more comfortable that you're not revolting? Huh? What? Yeah. Yeah, let's see inside. Let's see a few lines inside there. Some may come on through a Aish L'Mitzvos say I kill so I had no good to be the same as it says in Madrid the snow is Israel. The snow is a metaphor for the Jewish people. They're not going to be destroyed in the process. The snow was chosen because it's more humble than all the trees. It's a humble bush. Here too from the Gamora in Shabbos it seems like it's a metaphor for the Jewish people who are called Adam and Adam doesn't only mean you're the smallest of Nations in in terms of numbers. It also means in quality they humble themselves. Again, the snow applies to the Jews. Different ways to bring out that the snow represents the Jewish people. The mailer the next line does have all beings so you're just a snow. Even though the fire of a sham burns the snow, what does this mean? I know. That the glow of love the fire of love will come into the Jewish souls. So that the age will become bottle. This love this fire which consumes and creates bitter as we explained before. Is to eat up the wick the but it doesn't destroy their reality. Heaven forbid came out of it. It's the other way around. This bitter age becomes the primary source of life. Through bitter you become alive. Why through bitter you become alive? Because it's who you really are. To give an example of this somebody once asked the Rebbe he said we filter it. In Yiddish there's an expression we filter it. In English if you translate it it's how do you feel yourself? Right? But in Yiddish we filter how are you feeling? So the Rebbe said to him he says the Rebbe said my father said I'm a filter it. It's not good. If you filter self it's already not good and he explained. He says you see by a body how do you know that a body is a healthy body? When you feel it or you don't feel it? When you don't feel anything. And after a great workout or when you're feeling great, what does your body feel like? Nothing. You don't feel it's like light. It's like almost non-existent. You would think it should be the other way around. When it's healthy you feel it, right? When somebody is healthy you feel them. You see them. You hear them. What happens if I'm feeling my pinky? What does it mean? What's happening with my pinky? It's an infection. Or I got to got hurt. It got burnt. I feel it. What happens when you feel your head? Means you have a head headache. What happens when you feel your body? You're heavy. You're tired. You're lethargic. You feel your foot? Cuz there's something wrong. It should be the other way. When it's healthy you feel it. When it's not healthy you don't feel it. The answer to this the Rebbe said is this. He explained to him. A healthy body means a body that is one with its energy. It's one with its soul. It's a conduit for its energy. The body becomes a a cali a vessel for the of the nation. That's what a healthy body is. A healthy body means a goof that the whole body is just a conduit for the soul. The body is the center the channel through which the soul manifests energy. Therefore a healthy body is a body that's one with the soul to the point that you don't feel it. Because the whole it is just an expression of the soul. What is illness? Illness means that there's an interruption between the nation and the goof. Because there's an interruption between the two suddenly you start feeling the body. The fact that you feel the body is this it's bad news. And when a person is really sick they feel the body a lot. Because now the body is actually interrupted. It's disconnected from its source. That's shot. Bitter is highest. The less you feel the body the more it's alive not the less it's alive. This is true physically biologically. So he said It's much better if you don't feel. You don't feel you're good. What do they say? No news is good news, right? If there's news no news is good news in the body too. In it's also this way. The real comes from bitter. Real when you when are you really alive? When you're one with yourself. What is your true self? A sham. So when you're completely one with you you don't feel yourself. Because you're a conduit for your true self which is the source which is the divine. When you start feeling yourself it's because you're separated you're detached. So the more bitter the more the more bitter the more life the more self. What do you mean the more self? More bitter. Because the true self is selfless. The true self is the source. You'll see the more a person is self-conscious the less they're alive. You know what I mean? The more you walk into a room. Let's say you walk in here, right? And everyone looks who came. Coming in my dinner when there's a sheet any interruption people could put their eyes on they put their eyes on, right? Person walks in everybody looks at him. Yeah? Somebody brings in something anything happens, yeah? Everybody look. Cuz you know for whatever reason we're not going to analyze it at the moment. A person who's self-conscious they never experience life because they're always asking themselves where am I in the picture? You can't be anywhere. Because you're always absorbed with am I this? Am I that? Am I that? You begin to become alive when you can get above yourself. Beyond yourself. When yourself could become in tune with the true self. I was once giving a lecture. It was a hall. There were like 3,000 people there. 2,000 people. And a guy came late. And there were no chairs in the back. The only chairs that were available were in the front. So they sent him to the front. So he had to walk through the whole auditorium. And I was speaking but I was watching him. Right? And I could see he was thinking about one thing. What was he thinking about? Everybody's looking at me. What do I look like? What don't I look like? Why am I here? Who's here? Why get me out? Finally he comes TO THE FRONT HE sits down. He couldn't be there. The next 20 minutes all he could think is about what do they think of me? Am I crazy? Am I normal? I don't care about them. Oh I DO NO I DON'T CARE. WHO ARE THEY? OF COURSE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM. That's why you don't stop thinking about them. He's arguing in himself. You know that argument? I care I don't care I really care I almost care I should care. No I don't care. Really? Of course yeah but I'm I'm horrified. The more I live in that space the less I'm alive. I'm a filter it it's not good. A healthy life is a life when you could be in tune with life. When you're in tune with life. So the more bitter the more the more life. Because the true self is an expression of the divine. So therefore the more self-consciousness the more separation the more fragmentation the less self not the more self. The more I feel my hand means my hand is not healthy. If my hand was in the most pristine state it would be light. You don't even feel it's here. It's like you're like like something flying. Something flying. You don't feel it's it's heaviness. Certainly you don't feel the pain. Even when you feel the heaviness of your body it means that you're in a weaker state in a more lethargic state. Certainly when you feel pain it may mean there's an infection or whatever. This is the same as true as in this. Oh ho ho now you're asking a good question. You want to know how you graduate self-consciousness. It's a nice word. Right. So one way of dealing with it is alcohol. I'm not joking. I'm not joking. The says the says in a moment why is it after the marble? What does do? He starts drinking. He creates a club. And he starts drinking. He comes to it. So some people say he looks outside is a marble. He gets depressed. And depressed people go to the bar. But the says something very very deep. He says got to the source of everything. Before the does there was no self-consciousness. There was no the difference between the before and after was no self-consciousness. How do you see this? Other could walk around without clothes. A one-year-old baby could walk around without clothes and nobody minds. You don't start calling the vad and mish mera satnias and the signs of your voice satuma, nothing. He's walking around without clothes. The answer is he's 1 years old. There's no self-consciousness here. It's completely innocent. For him exposing his body is like you exposing your pinky. What's wrong? What's wrong with my pinky? As we grow older, we become self-conscious. We become self-aware. And in that self-awareness, we're like, "Whoa." There's certain aspects of the body that you have to be ashamed of or not ashamed of. You have to protect, etc. Preserve. That happened after the eight sadus. Adam and Hava started to feel themselves. Before the eight sadus, they felt Hashem. Themselves, it was a conduit for Hashem. What are you embarrassed about your body? The Shulchan Aruch says, "Just like there's a mitzvah with the arm to put on tfillin, there's a mitzvah in another part of the body of pru urvu. What's there to be embarrassed? It's a mitzvah. What's the big deal? This is godly. This is godly. It's all godliness. Even the physical pleasure is godliness. What are you What are you embarrassed about? There's no corruption in it. We live in a world of We're very aware. We're very self-conscious. That self-conscious and awareness is not a compliment. It's a chissaron. That's happened after the eight sadus. They see themselves as separate. Noach saw what this led to. It led to the mabul, corruption, destruction. So, Noach says I have to heal the world. So, the Baal Tanya says, "How do you heal the world? You lose self-consciousness. How? You get drunk." That's what he says. "You get drunk. You lose self-consciousness. Shoyn, you see drunk people, yeah? They'll tell you everything about themselves. Usually, sober people this you don't talk about. But you shouldn't you shouldn't you shouldn't you shouldn't the vibe with you shouldn't zich, right? Drunk people, if you really if you really smashed enough, there's no inhibitions. Nicht mit zich ein nicht mit zich ein zich. It's almost like, "No, you I'm not aware. I'm here. I'm this. I'm that." You just come You lose yourself. You lose yourself. What was Noach's mistake? Noach's mistake was when you drink, you don't transcend yourself. You forget about yourself for a few minutes, but you don't transcend yourself. You didn't take yourself and bring it to a higher place. You just got so drunk that you don't know what hit you for a few hours. But your self remains your self when you sober up, you're back to the regular self. They say in the English Parliament, somebody told Churchill, Winston Churchill, "You're a drunk." Which he was. He liked the l'chaim. So, Churchill says, "Emes, but you're stupid. And the difference is when I wake up tomorrow, I'll be sober. You wake up tomorrow, you'll remain stupid." It'll be a difference, right? So, fine. I'm drunk. I wake up tomorrow, I'm sober. I'm back to myself. Hopefully, I'm not stupid. But I'm back to myself. So, Noach didn't fix the situation. Noach didn't transcend the self. Noach went out of himself through alcohol. He didn't go above himself. He didn't lift himself up. In that sense, we are all in some ways we are all experiencing this crisis. Our mind doesn't stop with self-consciousness. And that's part of human existence. It's in the bittle with a person actually becomes truly alive. It's in that space of nullification of self to the source of self, which is the true self, so you become alive. That's not self-destruction. That's self-realization. That's ultimate self-actualization, self-expression. When you stop feeling the self, your self is actually alive. When you feel it the whole time, it's not. So, let's now finish the last lines here. The ein misabe day am parshas shoyftim upira shalom az sha aish michala haklipa the ainem michala hakdusha ainsham. The same idea. The kdusha doesn't get destroyed in the fire cuz it's min b'minai. It's the same thing. The ein oit misabe zoyhar ubirabishasheydim. And after the brackets, a lot of claimers. After the brackets or komashe kasuv, the pasuk says, "Yiras Hashem l'chaim." The fear of Hashem to life. Yiras Hashem toysef yomim. The choid of the other way around. Yiras Hashem diminishes you. It makes you like, "Oh, I'm scared." But the pasuk says, "No, Yiras Hashem is l'chaim. Yiras Hashem toysef yomim. Malchuscha malchus kol almin." Yiras Hashem means you have a relationship with Ein Sof. So, if you have Ein Sof, so now you have more than the energy of Ein Sof that comes into you. YIRAS HASHEM TOYSEF YOMIM. MALCHUSCHA MALCHUS KOL ALMIN. SINCE THE truth of life is Ein Sof, so therefore the more Yiras Hashem, the more life. Mashe kein davar nifrad, something that's separated, that's fragmented. In other words, it has its own ego. Ein lo chiyus. He loses his own energy. He has to substitute for divine energy. Because he has to substitute for divine energy, you have to create a fake reality. So, actually, you're always missing chiyus. You're always desperate for chiyus. You're always desperate for more and more life. Why? Cuz you created a fake source of life, a fake substitute of life, namely the ego, self-perfection, this type of perfection, this type of image. What we spoke about this wax person. You created a fake life for yourself. So, if I can't, you have less chiyus. The more self, the less life, the more death. Because you detach yourself from the source of life. So, every person experiences the pain of the separation. The pain of the separation means when I don't recognize my true source, and I feel my separation, there's a very deep pain left over there. And in that pain, I have to create new situations. All addiction is really a symptom of being a davar nifrad. So, therefore I need something. And you know what it is? As Dr. Twerski once told me, I asked him, "Is there a common denominator of all addicts?" And he said, "Yeah. He's found that they are the most spiritual and sensitive people around." In other words, if you're more sensitive and more spiritual, so you feel this void more than other people. So, you need powerful things to numb the pain. So, you become an addict. However, if you're not so spiritual and sensitive, you can get away with voids. When a person feels deep pain, he needs medicine to get rid of it. When he doesn't feel so much pain, he Okay, you know what? You could dismiss it. You take a cup of coffee. You go to work. You go to your computer. You forget about it. You make a couple of dollars. When you're more sensitive and spiritual, you can't deal with the period. So, you need something to distract you from yourself. So, basically, what this ma'amar is teaching us is that most of us or many of us have one mission in life. And that is we're trying to distract ourselves from ourselves. It's just very hard. It's very hard to live with yourself. It's just too much. So, you're trying to distract yourself from yourself. How? Whatever works. Whatever works to distract yourself from yourself works. For some people, it's televisions. For other people, it's WhatsApps. For some people, it's serious substances. The bottom line is, I want to distract myself from myself because it's just too crazy What's the eitzah? The real eitzah he says, "The iker achiyus hu habittel." When a person can experience bittel, real bittel, this person is alive. Why is this person alive? Because his self is now expressing. It's living what it really is. Not a substitute of it. This class is brought to you by the Yeshiva.net. Please help us continue the classes. Make even a small contribution at www.theyeshiva.net/donate.