I'm Spiritual but not Religious. That's what Matters, Right? Your 13 Minutes of Enlightenment.

we said last week that hashem gave us mitzvahs because he wanted to do good stuff for us and in order for us to earn it he gave us mitchus and we added on top of that how are we earning it because mitzvahs allah the purple jacket people for those of you who have heard it mitzvahs are there to help us make the world a more spiritual place where mankind can connect with their creator and that's what makes us do so what we're what we are in actually listen really mind-blowing stuff we are in a love triangle no not what you're thinking a love triangle looks like this i've often been asked rabbi what if i'm dating somebody and i don't love them i'm like crazy over them i like them they i like them a lot like i like their company but it's not what i pictured anyone know what i'm talking about it's not what i pictured i i pictured i pictured violins as you know as they come in and the angels ah he comes in there it's not like that he's he's just a nice guy or she's a nice girl i'm not feeling swept off my feet you know when i was uh i was young so my dad was very into musicals that's what my kids we all love musicals so there's a musical called the king and i anyone ever hear the king and i okay we got uh stephanie i think this is from the king and i you can correct me if i'm wrong but there was a song that went i could have danced all night yeah i got it right i could have danced all night and still have begged for more right a thousand things that have never so that feeling of i could have done stunned stunts all night i don't feel that i don't feel like i could have danced all night i you know with chill you know is that enough to marry somebody and then they add on to that question they said they say you know what not only not only that we don't you know i don't get swept off my feet but there is something else that i am getting out of this and i'll tell you what it is i am feeling that with this person i can build something special i feel like this person could be a good father a good husband you know they're growing in judaism they they'll make kiddish they'll make half dollar they'll make a basic seder they'll be generous they're not gonna be cheap when i need something i so i'm not swept off my feet but i feel like together we could build something great is that enough and the answer that i give may surprise you the answer i give is if you feel you could build something great with that person then the answer could be yes and the reason why is simple that could have i could have danced all night feeling that goes away anyways and reality sets in no one lives happily ever after without struggle but if you're aimed towards the same goal and you want to build something amazing so that could be enough to marry somebody however there's always a however however how awesome would it be if you did have both if you were crazy over them and you said not only that but this person and i were going to build something magical not just our love is magical but we're gonna build in hebrew we call it a biased nam unbe israel a faithful house in israel we're gonna not in the land of israel could be land of israel also but amongst the jewish people i'm gonna build something great how great would it be if the person had both that's mitzvos in a nutshell hashem and us we are in love my students know we call this a relationship i'm in a relationship with the almighty and i'm i'm madly in love with the one with the one above that's a great thing madly in love with the one above that's that's where i am so hashem says back to me awesome i love you too now let's build something great together and together we go and do mitzvahs and bring the world back to the spiritual place where it belongs that's the great triangle that we're involved with as a matter of fact with that example you know so much kabbalah you know so much about it's that one example it's a very deep example that triangle example us hashem the world us great relationship us in the world let's build something great together you got that lexi you could spread that to everyone the rest of your life and you will have given them great wisdom okay now what happens if a person says i i feel spiritual but you know i don't really i don't really feel like the mixes are not doing it for me like i don't understand them so i don't know why i should do them plus you know does god expect me to do all 613 i think these are these are legitimate questions because at the end of the day being a jewish person and doing torah right it's not easy street it's not just have faith have faith we are a religion a religion or a relationship of action the way that any relationship should be right it's not good enough to say i love you you got to show it also gotta show it so what if a person says i i i feel connected to you hashem but i don't feel connected through keeping kosher you know how i feel connected i feel connected through meditation [Music] i do meditation i breathe in and out the right way i practice mindfulness and i feel amazing and these other things davoning doesn't make me feel amazing it's just hebrew words on a lot of them but if i do meditation i'll feel amazing why can't i just do meditation and feel amazing so i want to tell you a very nice muscle does anyone here know what a muscle is it's basically a parable what's a parable parables are very potent in judaism because sometimes if you tell somebody hey what are you doing that's crazy you know you shouldn't be doing this so then it's it hits too close to home so what i do is i don't tell the person don't do this do do that instead i give a totally different example and i say what would you say over here and you say well obviously this and then we say well isn't this the same thing that's the way a parable works it's a very powerful way of teaching a personal lesson and judaism a muscle is king okay so i'm going to tell you a nice muscle my wife my wife says to me excellent excellent aim my wife says to me that i you know you're going to the store you're going to the store do you mind picking me up some milk i just poured cereal i have a whole bowl full of cereal and i i went to the fridge and lo and behold we're out of milk so i and i'm going to the store anyways i want to pick up something she says do you mind picking up some milk i said no problem i get to the store and right when i get there i see flowers they do this to a lot of stores they're they're flowers right when you come and you ever see that flowers especially near mother's day flowers and i thought wow and roses and my wife's name is rose and it is shashana means rose so i said you know oh this is so romantic i'm gonna pick up some roses so i buy the roses and i come home and my wife opens the door and i say ta-da and i hand handed the roses and she goes oh that's so sweet she smells them does oh that's so nice she says then did you pick up the milk i said i'll be honest with you i didn't bring my credit card i only bought a few dollar bills and i didn't have enough money for both so i got you the roses and she says oh thank you very much for the roses but my cereal over here is crying for some milk i really wanted the milk that's the muscle now the nimsho means what is that trying to say the lesson and the lesson is that really love is doing what that person wants not what you want but what that person wants that's love you've heard the example of the love languages i think that we mentioned it last week right and i'm not sure if we did but you know there are five you know there's a book called the five love languages and there are languages that uh these are ways that people feel connected to us or that we feel connected to the one that we love so for some people it's um it's what's called acts of service like someone will feel loved if you help them take out the garbage or if you help them with their homework dance love for some people their love language is presence they like to receive stuff everyone has a love language so in order for me to connect to lindsay for example so let's say lindsay her love language is presence she likes to get presents and instead of presence i do an act of service for her it's not going to do the same thing because what really says i love you to our presence that's her love language or the opposite or spending time we all have the language that you could speak to us to tell us that you love us i remember when i um a little bit after i got married i uh i was obsessed with buying my wife's stuff right i'm like the perfect house i just and especially jewelry i love buying her jewelry which sounds like a really great thing like hey let me buy another diamond earrings like so the thing is my wife my wife doesn't care about that stuff which made me want to buy it even more like you're gonna love it like she really doesn't care about it so one day i went to the store and just out of the blue you know i had a credit card so i could buy anything in the world i was young it didn't have a lot of money we did not have a lot of money but you know we'll worry about it didn't whenever and i thought i saw this ring it was like a little flower made out of diamonds and rubies big ruby in the middle really pretty ring and i bought it for her and i came home and i said here i bought you a present and she said why i don't need this we don't have the money for it to her you know what an act of service is doing the dishes with her helping her physically not presence what was i doing for her maybe i was projecting my own love language onto her the problem is that that's my language but that's not her language understand hashem's love language is called mitzvah that's hashem's love language and hashem says you want to connect to me you may feel spiritual doing yoga but that's not what i ask you to do that's not my love language you may want to meditate but that's not my love language it may help you it may be healthy for sure is healthy it's great to send to yourself but you want to feel spiritual for you so you feel good then you bought flowers but you want to do what i need you buy milk the truth is it's an obvious and mature way of understanding a relationship and since judaism is a relationship and it really it sort of boggles the mind how people see when you do things in your own way but mitzvahs are ignored so then it's not relationship at all it's just stuff that makes me feel good it makes me feel spiritual so the grand quest is to find how to connect with the eternal and that's what mitzvahs are