I’m Not Giving You Mussar - R. Avrohom Walkin - TorahAnytime.com

six seven years ago I was I was driving maybe eight years ago I was driving in in Upstate New York I was driving in Fallsburg I was coming back from Stop and Shop I think it's called oh shoppr coming back from shop right and I was in a bungal colony at the time which I was there for 25 years place called Irvington Estates I was a Reby there I ran the day camp over there and I loved it I always would come every summer I would look forward to my spending my two months Upstate away from I didn't even take my mail from the city I I would the things were shut off electricity and whatever because I just wanted to just be completely not Nea that I was even in New York um where I lived and I'm driving from sh from from shop right and I see a boy walking in the you know there's no sidewalks there I see a boy walking in the street now this boy had a ponytail he had a nose ring he had tattoos and he wasn't wearing a yamaka and he was walking and I wasn't sure if he was Jewish or not that's the truth I was not sure if he was Jewish he didn't look Jewish but that doesn't mean anything and I just you know sometimes I I'll pick up people that are hitchhiking and most of the times I won't and I'll give an excuse that I can't pick up everybody that hitchhiking because everyone is walking around trying to get a lift especially people that don't have cars and there are people that you know like you know a lot of C them they live in Williamsburg they don't have you know they don't have cars they don't need cars so I can't pick up everybody I meet so sometimes I'm in the mood to pick up sometimes I'm not right or wrong it's not the issue so I see this boy and I said you know what let me take a gamble let me pick him up he looks like he's on the side of the road and going that direction there's really no other direction to go I'll pick him up pick him up he gets into the car I said you go where you going he goes to Kisha bowling alley I said you're Jewish he goes yeah I said okay now sometimes I'm in the mood to get into conversation sometimes what's the point but I always like to hear a good story maybe a good kuk maybe maybe I can give him Jewish kid right so I asked him what his name is he tells me his name and then I asked him I said where you from he goes I'm from farak so I said I'm from farak and then when he told told me the name I started saying what's Happ is your father still in the Kyo by Rabbi Rand so he goes yeah my father's by Rabbi Rand so I don't need to figure out what probably goes on in the house over there or what went on in the house the m is the fighting his father's still a Kyle guy and this guy's walking around with earrings and nose rings and and whatever it is that he's wearing over there I'm sure it wasn't just like Smooth Sailing in the house so I said to him can I tell you something and he says to me I said to him I'm not going to give you Musa I said you know what mus means he goes yeah because he said yeah he goes yeah I heard enough of it so I said I'm not going to give you Musa but can I tell you something that I think you might actually be happy then I might tell you this I think you're going to be happy so he tells me go for it so I realized I only had three four you know maybe five minutes till I get to his destination so I said to him I want to ask you something I said to him I said if there's a man walking with his son in the street and he thinks a car is coming at a 100 miles an hour at them he sees the the sun doesn't see it but he sees it and he can only get one of the either him or his son out of the way before the car hits he a normal father will probably I hope push his son out of the way without even thinking probably because it's a it's a it's a parental you know reaction of my I care about my son it's almost like ingrained you're going to push your son out of the way I said is that true he goes yes so I said let me ask you a different question if the same man is walking with his son but the problem is this man is delusional there is no car coming at 100 milph and he's walking with his son but he thinks the father thinks that there is a car he's delusional and he thinks he sees a car coming and there is no car coming at them at 100 miles an hour will he still push his son out of the way the answer is yes because in his mind there is a car coming at 100 mph so he will push his son hopefully out of the way first so I said to him like this I said I want to tell you something I'm not here to tell you Judaism is real I'm not here to prove yishai to you I'm not here cuz I told you I'm here to help you I'm not here to to give you Muslim I told him but I said to him I want to explain something to you if your father is delusional let's say let's just say that and he believes in a religion that's not real let's just say that's your opinion okay I'm not here to battle with him about yish kite now he believes in something called chabas he believes in something called kosher he believes in something called ctis whatever it is not NGA he believes in this stuff and he believes in something called ganaden and gim right so no a normal father will try to get his son to do these things because he believes in it he believes in the consequences if you don't do it so it's not about loving or hating or trying to get him or not trying to get him a normal father that believes Ina that believes in G believes in shabas and kosher and he sees his son not doing it a normal father there's different ways of how to approach it there's different ways of how to say it but a noral father is going to try to make sure his kids gets the best in life so I said to him like this I said I'm not telling you you should listen to your father I'm not telling you to listen to him I said I I said I'm sure it's not easy in your house he goes yes it's not easy in my house so I said I just want to make you a happier person I told him I said how when your father tells you these things I'm not telling you you should listen I can't tell you not to listen it's tell how can I tell him not to listen right I said but understand that it's not coming from a bad place it's not coming from a bad place I told him I said go into your room close the door I'm not telling you to laugh but just don't for your sake what's the point of getting into an argument with him or fight with him back you don't he doesn't see your point you don't see his point but know at least it's coming from a good place that's what he believes so normal father is going to tell you he thinks his son is about to get hit by a car he's going to get he's going to intervene he gets out of the car I said was it okay what I told you he goes 100% it was okay no problem he gets out of the car a month later rash was actually earlier that I think it like SE September 7th I think I met him August 7th and this happened on September 7th or 8th and I'm standing outside I live by Beach 9th Street by the beach over there you know by those 10 houses by seagert and I'm standing outside talking to a of mine and it was Tash it was Tash time and my by my house Tash everyone from all it was a nice day everyone was coming to Tash thousands of people this one that people with dogs and cats and ferrets everybody's going to Tash with their animal whatever they're do it was like M that's what it looked like they're all going to T and I'm standing there talking to somebody and I hear a voice somebody calls calls to me from across the street he goes Rabbi walking he was standing with a with another boy with a dog they come across the street and he tells me Rabbi do you recognize me I go um no and now he wasn't wearing a ponytail he wasn't wearing a nose ring he was wearing an earring I did see some tattoos coming out of his shirt he was wearing a white shirt actually it's funny and the buttons were open open and he tells me you don't remember me I go no he goes you were the person that gave me the lift a month ago so I said wow I said I don't know I said I'm not taking credit for what happened to him I'll tell you that right now but he tells me he says I want to tell you something Rabbi he says to me when you picked me up and you spoke to me from the moment I got out of your car till today rash I did not have one argument with my father because of what you told me this is what he tells me so I said to him that's incredible I said how does that feel he goes I'll be very honest with you feels amazing I said my relationship with my father got better my relationship with with Hashem got better because my relationship with my father got better and I didn't want to take any credit for this it's not what this about cuz I'm sure he had a journey in that month but I said to him I said it feels good he goes yes