How to Sleep Like a Baby | Living with Emunah #384

Morning, welcome back to Living with Emunah. As always, we begin with our attitude of gratitude. Tremendous thanks to our series sponsors, Dr. Zev and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbut in memory of Bella's mother, Dr. Ellen Shanzer. Thank you. Thank you to the Morgans for their generosity. Family should be gebenched, safe, and well. They also dedicate in honor that Hashem watch over our soldiers and protect them. This week uh and also uh the other series sponsor, anonymously in memory of the fallen soldiers and alumni of Bnei David Machon Shimon HaTzaddik, we continue to dedicate our shiur to the refuah shleimah of soldiers recently injured in Lebanon, Refael Chaim ben Meir ben Aryeh ben Itai ben Tzion ben Tzadok ben Tzion ben Tzion ben Tzion, David ben Ziva ben Liam ben Vital ben Eitan ben David ben Tova ben Matan Mordechai ben Meira ben Avraham Chaim ben Noach, and two additional young men, Dekel ben Vera and Hillel ben Shlomit, also Leah Basera, who's recovering from surgery. This morning's shiur is sponsored by Laura Margulies, thank you, and the cookies, please come make a brachah, David ben Shmuel Naftali, and by Pam and Prosper Bitbook and the yahrzeit of our father, Lester Greenberg, anonymously Leilui Nishmat Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. Wow. Okay, sponsored for the yahrzeit of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, and by Susan Weisman Leilui Nishmat Chaya bas Binyamin. So, we thank everyone for their generosity and also uh for a refuah shleimah for Binyamin Simcha HaKohen ben Leah Shlamas, successful surgery, good news today, imirtza Hashem, and for a refuah shleimah, those who didn't hear, unfortunately, there was a uh tragic terror attack in England, in London, this morning. Uh I understand at least one is severely injured. We daven should have a refuah shleimah, a speedy, complete, and painless recovery. Okay, we are back to Living with Emunah. Hope everyone's been doing their homework. Put simply, your homework is to live with Emunah. To hear and to speak to Hashem, to feel his presence and his love in your life, and to enable that to make you feel more calm. I mentioned yesterday in the parsha shiur, someone asked me a question. I'm not going to read it because I don't want to give away any details of who it was, but somebody who's married, challenges parnassah and others, finds themselves not exactly on the same page as their spouse. How do you get your spouse to live with emunah the way you are? That was a question. It's a question on the email, it's a question I get fairly often. Maybe when we expand our repertoire and offer a question and answer for our real devotees, we'll address further questions like this. My answer, which could get a lot more into, is it doesn't work to preach. What works is to practice. I published an article yesterday um about the subject. Having to do with aliyah, I used an expression aliyah snob. I had to clarify what I meant, but it's true not only in the case of aliyah, it's true for health and wellness, it's true for spiritual growth, it's true in many area. When you preach and lecture and criticize and condemn and call names and make feel bad, people don't respond well. No one ever started keeping Shabbos because a rock was thrown at their car or their head. They did because they were invited to have Yocheved's chicken soup on a Friday night, which we call medicine, not chicken soup, or Mosha or Yocheved's cholent on a Shabbos day. That's when people started keeping Shabbos. When they saw the beauty, the serenity, the happiness, the joy, the meaning, the purpose, when it tugs on the heartstrings, when it's meaningful, when a person sees themself in it, that's when they want it. And the same is true with living with emunah. I I'm beyond gratified when people go from this year, whether in person or later listening online, and then turn to the members of their family and say, "Got to live with emunah and Hashem and it's okay and that's why it's happening. Just stay calm." And if a person is not there, then that's not what they want to or need to hear. And not only will that not be productive, it's counterproductive. Not only will it not achieve your goals, it will push you further away from your goals. So, what do you do then? What do you do? What do you do? You model it. If the people in your life see that by your living with emunah, you've never been happier, calmer, never been more serene, never had greater tranquility, you've never been more present, you've never been more engaged, you've never been healthier, you've never been happier, they're going to say, "I want some of that, too." The same way when people see others taking a shot or a pill and all of a sudden they look fantastic and they say, "Where can I get that? I want to look and feel fantastic. Where can I get that? How can I do that?" Well, we don't have a pill or shot called emunah. We do. You get a shot of emunah Wednesday mornings 9:00. I get a shot of emunah. I take my shot of emunah. We all take a shot of emunah together. And so, the answer is, don't lecture, criticize, condemn, proselytize. It doesn't work. Doesn't preach. Don't preach, practice. Don't preach, but practice. Because when people see it, becomes contagious. They want it. They want it. When you see someone who's on fire, who's so happy, whose relationships are so much richer, you see somebody who doesn't get anxious, then you want a piece of that. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I'm still in the Uber that came 15 minutes late for my ride to the airport, still stuck in traffic, which will cause me to definitely miss my flight. But, this person's writing this from the back of an Uber. I'm calm and embracing my place. On my quota of chapluta change my flight, I decided to maybe hop at 23. I looked at the speedometer, unfortunately, it was still at zero. But just above it, in the G23 license plate, was sending me a sign. So, sitting in traffic, not moving, with the late Uber on the way to the airport, and wondering why it's happening, there was a 23 in the license plate in the car ahead. Some are sick and tired, but we're not giving up. We're on a streak until Hashem decides we're done with 23. Then we're still going. But you know, You know I wrote back, "How did it work out? Did you make the next flight? Was it all good?" But she just wrote back, "Baruch Hashem." That's all he wrote back. You know I love the stories where we don't know how they turn out yet. But again, why do I share these stories? And why are these emails so meaningful? Cuz this guy's in the back of an Uber that came late, only to sit in traffic that's non that's not moving, to the flight he's definitely going to miss. And is he bent out of shape? Is there steam coming out of his ears ears? Is he losing his cool? Is he cursing his driver? He's sitting there typing an email. I'm embracing My foot. It's all good. It's the adventure called life. This is where I'm meant to be. This is what I say every week. I'm telling myself, I'm letting you listen in. When we live with Emunah, when we see and feel and hear Hashem, when it's not just something that's theoretical or abstract, but it's practical, we're improving we're increasing our faith, our conversation with Hashem, it translates. Your blood pressure will be low. Your pulse will be better. Your health will be better. Your emotional health will be better. Your spiritual health will be better. Your relationship will be better. Who wouldn't want to take this pill? Who's not signing up for this shot? You don't need insurance to cover it. You just have to take it. You just have to listen and learn and practice every day. It's not easy, but we take inspiration from those who are writing in. "Hi Rabbi Goldberg, my co-teacher has been contemplating leaving her job and moving to another city. We've been talking about it for a few months. Understandably, the process is nerve-racking for her. During one of our conversations, I casually mentioned, 'Rabbi Efraim Goldberg always says, "Embrace your place." Those three words have made the biggest difference in her entire outlook. In fact, she printed out your words and pasted them on the walls of our classroom, as well as the walls in her own home. She wanted me to write to thank you on her behalf. Thanks for keeping the calm and the nerves of my wonderful co-teacher. I'll send you a picture." Here it is. Embrace your magnets in Brooklyn and pictures in wherever this was written from, I won't say. And again, we just set ourselves some reminders, cuz the things that are the most obvious, and sometimes the things that are the most important, are the messages that are the easiest to forget. The more important it is, the more important it is, the more critical it is, and often the more obvious it is, the easier it is to forget. So, we need to remind ourselves, we need stickers and magnets and reminders. And when we do, and we can engage the back of an Uber, or unsure what to do with your next job or where to go, or whatever life throws our way, when we do that, we can I was so gratified. This is not a flex, cuz I don't consider living with emunah my sheer. First of all, it's our sheer. I'm reading the emails that you send in. I'm learning the text and the Torah of others. Again, I'm humbled by the one who gets to sit on this side of the camera, but it's our sheer. But you have to read Mishpacha magazine on Shabbos family first. And later, several other people reached out. And there's an anonymous article, eight pages, 10 pages, a long article by somebody describing their challenge and trauma in life, and they mentioned the two things that got them through it were their therapist and the podcast Living with Emunah. I'm I'm not I'm saying that because it should be our nachas. And I'm saying that because again, it's an example for all of us. Whatever we're going through, when we lean into these values, we lean into these principles, we lean into these truths. This is not a cult. We're not trying to sell you on something. It's not a gimmick. This is not something that we just say cuz it makes us feel better, the opium of the masses. This is the emes. We learned from Shapiro emes ve'emunah. This is the emes. He is the emes. Moshe emes, Torah emes, Ribono shel Olam is the emes. This is the emes. This is the truth. The truth is there's a creator, and he's involved and invested in our lives, and everything happens for a reason, nothing is random. And when we know that, and when we live that, and when we feel that, we're ready, we can take on anything. We can navigate, we can endure, we can overcome. We can not only survive, we can thrive. Almost anything. Anything. Shalom Rabbi Goldberg, I wanted to write a whole long email dealing with all the past events, but seeing as it isn't getting done, I want to share with you a small thought. I don't know how it will work out. I know that Hashem has a plan. I'm ready to lean in and see where he takes me. Early today driving home, I said to myself, "What you say in the Emunah shear, how exciting, what a fun ride. I can't wait to see where Hashem guides me and puts me next." I want to take the opportunity to write this now when I don't know how it will work out because now is when I capitalize on my Emunah and don't want to miss this opportunity. I know sometimes it will work out one way or the other, exactly Hashem plans. When that happens, I don't want to look back and think about how I squandered this opportunity. So here's my thought. Since being done with a certain job, even though I literally don't know where I'm working next week or if I have a job, I feel like me again. I feel so calm. I made dinner. I cooked. Thank Hashem truly. I know whatever happens with the work, it's all Hashem ultimately's plan. I'm going toward my values, my needs, and he sees what I want and knows me better than I know myself. The past 3 months I felt like I was in a fog trying to get through life and survive, seeing everything as bleak and no energy. Having lost my confidence, my worth, myself. Feels so good to feel like me again, and I don't want to go back to not. Thank you for the shear and the chizuk and the inspiration that they give. This person who's davka in this moment doesn't know, is not able to right now pause and say, "It all worked out and I saw the reason and it made sense and baruch Hashem." But says, "I don't know. I don't know how the story ends. I don't know where the adventure leads." And yet, I'm leaning in in my relationship with Hashem. We don't always get to retrospectively put the pieces together. I'll tell you a story. This came across uh this story. Hopefully it will resonate for you. But uh this is the article. It was an ordinary day last December for Mark Toothaker, if I'm pronouncing it correctly. He worked at a farm, went to the gym, settled in his home in Kentucky to watch the Giants play the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football. And he never expected what came next. Watching from bed alone with his wife who was reading a book, Giant kicker, I'm sure all of you are following this very closely, Giants kicker, Younghoe Koo, whiffed on a field goal attempt in a real-life scene reminiscent of Charlie Brown and Lucy in a Peanuts cartoon. In the article, you could click to see the video and it comes to life much more. I don't follow football. Not because I'm so religious, I follow the Yankees cuz they're God's team, but I don't care about football. But I don't care about football. Baruch Hashem, one of the gifts Hashem gave me, I never cared about football. But, Giants kicker, really, if you saw it, he went to go kick a field goal and he essentially tripped on himself, never kicked the ball, and it was literally a Charlie Brown and Lucy Peanuts moment. Toothcarer laughed so hard it caused a seizure. "I never felt anything like this in my life," he recalled. "I felt like I got electrocuted." Maloney happens to be a nurse at a rehab hospital working for a brain injury doctor. After initially thinking her husband was joking, she called 911. Paramedics arrived, got him to the hospital. A CT scan revealed a tennis ball-sized tumor on the left side of his brain. When you hear the news you got a brain tumor, that's what nobody wants to hear. He was transferred with the tumor surgically removed, turned out to be benign. He was sent home by the end of the week with no lasting damage. He is thankful for that missed kick. Quote, "The kicker saved my life because it could have happened any other time. I wholeheartedly believe I was in the right spot at the right time. It was the trigger for what happened. It was a miracle." He had no symptoms, no idea the tumor had moved his brain 6 mm to the right. In the months before his seizure, he had driven and flown all over the country as part of his job. "I could have been on a plane anywhere. I didn't kill anyone. I didn't run over a family in my truck running up and down the road. I guess that would have been the hardest thing for me to live with is somebody would have gotten hurt. Believe me, as tough as the thing is, as violent as the seizure was, I've no memory of it. And I find it hard to believe that I wouldn't have hurt somebody or hurt myself if I would have been behind the wheel." So, he says that the kicker missed the kick all for him. "I know it wasn't his best moment, but it was beyond crazy for she and I to be belly laughing at his expense, which I feel terrible about now, but it all worked out in the end. That for me, it couldn't have been a better moment. So many people aren't that fortunate, as wife said. First indication you had a problem was the seizure. To be in your own bed at home, not behind the wheel of a car traveling. Just so humbled and feel so blessed and fortunate for it to happen, it was in the best case scenario. So, right, what a story. Now, I don't know again if this came across the desk of the tick kicker. I don't know if he feels better about it. Maybe it does, maybe he now has a reason, maybe he knows why, maybe it makes sense. Sometimes in life you find out. Why did you flop on national TV? Why did you fail like Charlie Brown and Lucy in a humiliating moment? Turns out you saved a life when you did. Someone laughed so hard they had a seizure that led to the discovery of the brain tumor in their head. So, the person who had the seizure was miserable about the seizure until the seizure was the greatest thing that ever happened. And the kicker who missed the kick was humiliated, embarrassed on national TV until he realized maybe that it helped lead to save a life. Sometimes you know how the story ends. Someone recently told to me told me that it's not that Hashem gives the refuah before the makah. Our rabbis say that Hashem gives the the healing, the repair, the antidote before the problem, the refuah before the makah. It's that he gives the makah before the refuah before the makah. And when you go through the original makah, you say, "Why me? And how could you? And where are you? And why am I going through the makah?" But there's a makah that comes with the refuah before the makah. Someone else told me, I didn't get a chance to look it up. There's a saying, I don't know where they got it, that life life gives you amazing presents, it's just terrible at wrapping presents. Life gives you tremendous presents, it's terrible at the present wrapping, the gift wrapping. Life gives you great gifts, but it's terrible at gift wrapping. The wrapping is miserable. The wrapping is often painful. The wrapping has layers and layers, and where's the gift already? But life gives you great gifts. If you can get through the bad wrapping, the poor wrapping, sometimes the multiple layers of wrapping, sometimes the unnecessary extra tape of wrapping, if you can get through all the wrapping, life gives you great presents. Sometimes you got to get through all the wrapping. So sometimes you find out why and how, sometimes you connect the dots and it all makes sense, sometimes you turn the picture around and now you see how it all comes together. And other times you don't. And it's in those moments that our real emunah, that's the real growth. Like the woman who just wrote, "Not sure the next job, not sure the parnassah, not sure where it's coming from, not sure what's next, but I'm on Hashem's adventure, I'm on his ride. And therefore, I'm going along with him. Can't wait to see how the adventure, where it goes next." Never [clears throat] somebody sadly shared this experience. We're running our technology challenge. I think we're up to 25, 2600 people. We're on day 10? 11? Whatever day we're up to of our technology challenge. It's incredible. The feedback's been amazing. It's not too late to join. And may Hashem we're going to do more things like it later. So this person joined the technology challenge, put down the phones, day 10. I didn't I did great the first few days and then promptly fell off. Apparently Hashem wanted me to see how serious I was. On Thursday night, coincidentally right after I gave up the challenge, my phone died. Like many people I realized I don't actually know my ID, my Apple ID password. After too many failed attempts, I was locked out and sent into recovery mode. First of all, this is an amazing story in its own right. I saw the technology challenge, I gave it up, so Hashem locked me out of my phone. When I tried to get in, I didn't remember the password, tried it so many times, I got locked out and put in recovery mode. Apple told me I'd have an answer within 24 hours, which landed on Shabbos, so I waited. And then I missed the notification because it was Shabbos. And now I get to wait six full days to recover my account, which will probably end up on Shabbos again. So my photos, contacts, passwords, and my entire digital life are sitting peacefully in iCloud Olam Haba. >> [laughter] >> So, it's an amazing email. First of all, this is an amazing person who wrote it to me. She writes me often, very special in the shamah, very beautiful Jew, and she's interpreting it very positively. I don't think I'd be laughing. I wouldn't have a smile. I wouldn't be so happy. But, can we just put that in perspective? I signed up for the tech challenge. I dropped out. So, Hashem my modem died. Then I tried to get back in. I needed my Apple ID. I couldn't remember it. Tried too many attempts, so I got locked out. To get back in, I had to wait 24 hours, which came on a Shabbos, so I couldn't answer the notification in time. So, then it will take 6 more days, which might be As a specialist, I know exactly what's happening. We're chasing the dopamine hit, and yet knowing it didn't make it easier. I found myself counting down the end of Shabbos just to check if my account had been restored. At the same time, I give myself a little grace because this week I lost two important people in my life, both Holocaust survivors. My great aunt and my grandmother's childhood best friend, who was hidden with her in Germany before coming to America. On Shabbos, I joked to my cousin that if things come in threes, maybe my iPhone account was the third. I got a laugh. Honestly, it didn't feel so funny. Whole experience my been eye-opening, not just because of the inconvenience. Forced me to confront how attached I've become. Truth is, I mostly just want my iCloud back for access for the photos to my daughter, whose name is Emunah, who's named after our shiyur. At the same time, I can almost hear a voice saying from her grandmother, "What is wrong? What is wrong? Put down your phone and focus on who you lost." She then sent me the next email. I want to share a quick follow-up. After everything being locked out of my phone and iCloud, the only This is amazing. The only voicemails I've been able to recover from iCloud, the only voicemails, are from the two people I lost this week. Messages that are over 5 and 10 years old. Out of everything that's currently stuck in iCloud Olah Haba, those are the only voice notes that voicemails that came through. That doesn't feel random. She sent me the screenshot of the voice notes. So, every part of that story is like Hashem dropped out of tech challenge, I'm going to knock you off your phone. Think you get back on, you need to be in time out another week. That's hard for you to lose things in threes, I'll give you access to the first two people you lost this week by bringing back the 10-year-old voice notes that voicemails that they left you. Unbelievable. Unbelievable, right? Yeah, [snorts] I Baruch Hashem I didn't suffer that, but in the technology challenge that I was struggling with at the shul dinner last week, my phone died. It just died because of the battery. It's the middle of the program, I couldn't plug it in, couldn't revive it. I spoke about this on Shabbos. Sometimes when you think you're dropping out, Hashem puts you right back in. He does not let you drop out. Okay, one more. Mhm. Where's my Okay. Oh, two more quickly and then I'll I want to finish up our learning cuz I want to start something new. Ah, I hope this email finds you well. I was speaking with a friend of mine who was not Jewish but a devout Catholic. Throughout our conversations, I frequently quote you wrong. Today I mentioned your line about life being like an EKG. It's not my line, it's from Rav Moshe. It needs to have ups and downs to be a sign of life. If it's a straight line, it means you're dead. If you're alive, there's ups and downs. That's a good sign. That's a good sign. I'm proud to tell you cuz I think I used it as a martial in a previous year about how I didn't go for my annual and you got to take care of yourself. Did I talk about that? Well, people in my life conspired. So, yesterday was my doctor appointment and they did indicate I'm a perfect specimen of health, which just reinforces why I don't need to go to the doctor. But anyway, leave that aside for another time. Leave that aside for that time. In the EKG, so baruch Hashem the EKG did not come back flat. Cuz even though all of us we just want flat we just want smooth sailing. We just want smooth. But if you see a straight line, you think you have smooth sailing? It means you're dead. It means you're lifeless. If you're alive, there are ups and downs. It needs to have up and downs. She wanted to tell me something that her priest said, and I became extremely hesitant. From a priest? And I told her I'm not sure if I can hear words from priests. Anyway, I realized afterwards what a chillul Hashem that could be. I called her and apologized, said I didn't want to insult you. She did feel hurt after. She said it was fine. She said I wasn't going to share with you something from the New Testament, cuz I know you don't believe in that. I just wanted to tell you something from Come on, people. From? Psalm 23. No matter what, God is with me. Ki ata imadi. What a lesson. I apologized profusely. I hope God should have a chillul Hashem turns it into a kiddush Hashem. Don't jump the gun. Stop and think what you have in common. Both believe Ki ata imadi, Hashem is with me. A most unlikely Psalm 23 sighting, I will say. Okay, last lastly, and this was amazing. I recently started listening to your shiurim, and I want to share something. For over a year, I struggled significantly with sleep. I'm a young girl in my 20s, and sleep was never an issue for me before. On the contrary, I used to be able to fall asleep easily anywhere. But over the past year, that completely changed. I would either take hours to fall asleep, or wake up multiple times throughout the night. And I would wake up exhausted in the morning. I tried many different things, setting a consistent sleep schedule, exercise, melatonin, magnesium, and more. Some of it helped briefly, but the issue still remained. About 2 weeks ago, it got in particularly bad. I was extremely tired, and wanted desperately to sleep, but the moment I would lie down, my mind would become fully alert, and I simply couldn't fall asleep. I'm not generally an anxious person, so I was confused and frustrated by what was happening. That week, I was out with a friend, and it was getting late. She should She She suggested I go home since I had work the next day. I told her I actually need to stay out longer so I could get more tired in hopes I would finally sleep better. Shortly after I drove home, and I put on one of your Shiur, episode 382 as I was driving. I had actually debated if I should play some acapella music or listen to a Shiur. I'm glad I chose the Shiur. In the Shiur you said, "Quote, there are people who lay awake in bed all night and can't fall asleep." I was instantly taken aback. And I just talking about it with friends and family how much it's been a struggle. You then explained the words from Krias Shema al Hamita. We just learned this. From the Tehillim, "He nay lo ya num ve lo yi shan Shomer Yisrael." It's as if Hashem is telling us, "I need to slumber sleep. I'm the Shomer Yisrael. You can sleep cuz I'm staying awake. I'm guarding you." Remember we learned this? We learned this just last week, 2 weeks ago. Hashem says, "I'm the Shomer Yisrael." Not the senator from New York. "I'm the Shomer Yisrael." So therefore, "He nay lo ya num ve lo yi shan." Hashem neither slumbers nor sleeps. And why is he telling us that? Okay, Shkoyach. You're up all night, too. Good. Why are you telling me that? Cuz Hashem says, "Mein Kinder, my child, shluf gezunt. Close your eyes. Shluf gezunt. Close your eyes. Go to sleep. I got it. I'm here." You know the child is scared or frightened, you sit on the bed and you say, "It's okay. Go to sleep. I'm here. I'm here. Go to sleep. It's okay. I'm watching. It's safe. Go to sleep." So Hashem, and that's why we say this in Krias Shema al Hamita. We say this at night before we go to sleep cuz what we're telling him is what we're saying is, "Hashem is telling us, 'My child, close your eyes and go to sleep. I got this. I got this. Sleep well. Whatever is keeping you up, sleep well. I'm guarding you.'" As you're repeating these words, now I was I was afraid that she was going to tell me, "And I fell asleep while driving." It worked. >> [laughter] >> But she doesn't say that. As you're repeating these words, I actually had to stop my car and listen in disbelief. It felt though Hashem was speaking directly to me through your shiur. I was in complete awe. I know you like to read the endings that seem not so great. But that night I slept better than I had in over a year. And I did not wake up even once. Since then my sleep has continued to be significantly better and I hope it continues. I sent this part of the shiur to my friends and I shared it with those at work I complained to about it. We were all blown away by Hashgacha and how tailor-made it was for me. Thank you for being Hashem's shliach. Somebody couldn't sleep in the year out of nowhere, didn't understand why, tried everything under the sun. And now concentrating on those words Krias Shema al Hamita, hear Hashem saying feel Hashem, his hand is on your back, on your shoulder, he's giving you a little kiss on your keppie and he's saying mein kinder, my child, close your eyes, shluf gezunt, sleep, I got it. I'm lo yanum v'lo yishan, I don't slumber, I don't sleep, I stay up so you can sleep. Whatever's bothering you, whatever you're worried about, whatever's keeping you up, whatever your mind is racing about, let it go and let me let God. I got it. Yineh lo yanum v'lo yishan shomer Yisrael, so that's why it's part of Krias Shema al Hamita and therefore when we reme- remember when we recognize, when we say out loud, when we say to ourselves, Hashem is in this room, he's sitting on my bed, Hashem is giving me the chills on my back, he's ki- he's kissing me on my keppie and he's telling me shluf gezunt, sleep easily, sleep well, fall asleep. And now we have evidence, tried and true. Now we have Boker tov u'menucha, now we have evidence. So try it, report back to me, does it work? If it didn't work, don't get back to me. If it did work, let me know. And then we can trademark and copyright it. We can't Krias Shema al Hamita, you cannot copyright or trademark. Baruch Hashem. Mahu b'chinam ach batel b'chinam. Torah is free. That's why there's no paywall. Our shiurim, it's free. Mahu b'chinam, we all stood at Sinai, we're marching there, we're going to be there again just a few weeks. And Hashem gave us the Torah, there was no entrance fee. There was no parking fee, there was no entrance fee. There was no fee. We stood at Sinai, everyone was welcome and it was free. And our rabbis teach just like he taught it was free, so to the Torah we share and teach has to be free. Has to be free. So, we can't trademark. We're not looking to trademark. But what a beautiful thing. If you tried it, the melatonin and everything else, keep up with it. Page kuf mem. The right column. We've last been learning about the mezuzah. People put the sticker under the mezuzah. I love you, Hashem. When we walk through that door, we remember the spirit of compromise. We remember the values in the mezuzah. We remember to pause. Don't always be running and racing. Don't always have noise filling your ears. Stop. When you cross through that threshold, stop. How blessed I am where I'm walking in or how blessed and what responsibility I bear where I'm walking out. Meida the mezuzah netters on the one hand it says on the outside of the mezuzah shin dalet yud. One of the names of Hashem is Shakai. Shakai, one of the names of Hashem. Shin dalet yud. Why? Shamar lo olam adai. Because Hashem said to the world, ginuk. Stop expanding. Stop growing. It's enough. Amarlo olam adai. He said to the world, it's enough. On the other hand, inside the mezuzah is Shem Havaya. Shem Hamora his pastus. Inside is We have two messages. Inside the mezuzah is drive, ambition, the quest for more. Grow, progress. On the outside of the mezuzah, enough. His stop goes. Enough. Be satisfied. Be gratified. Enough. Eyes at a conflict? Is there a tension? No. Yes, we should learn from these two names. We should learn from these two names. When is it that we say it's enough? When is it that we say I have what I need? When is it that we say I'm able to be satisfied and gratified? When it comes to things when it comes to this world, Hashem, my house, my car, my jewelry, my bank account, it's enough. I'll work for more, I'll try for more. It's okay to even want more, but also to say what I have is what I need, what I have is what you mean to give, what I have is enough, enough. But when it comes to this, when it comes to our soul, when it comes to our relationship with you, when it comes to our compassion and our kindness, when it comes to our virtue, our righteousness, then it's never enough. Ambition, drive, more. It means so much. It doesn't mean simplicity, it means spreading out. He spreads out. Just like you spread out, you influence, you impact, I want to repair and redeem your world. I want to fulfill my mission. I want to become greater. I want to be big. I want to be huge. Not on the Forbes 400. I want to be huge in your eyes. I want to fulfill the mission that you put me here. I want to be the best and better and better version of myself. And both these names and both these messages are exactly what we absorb, what we download every time we walk through that doorway. When we walk through that doorway and we pause and touch that we remember. On the one hand, when it comes to ruchniyus, I'm never on vacation. I'm never complacent, I've never arrived, I've never finished, I'm never done. But when it comes to gashmiyus, when it comes to the physical, I'm about to walk into my house. I'm working hard, I'd love more things, but you know what? In the meantime, whatever I have is what you mean to give. Whatever I have is from design from you, and whatever I have is good for me. I'm good. I'm good. The opening and the gateway to the service of Hashem who sowed What we're remembering is, in fact, that all my gashmiyus is there to serve my ruchniyus. Everything I have materially, everything in my bank account, all that I have in the physical realm is there as a platform and to support my spiritual identity and ambition. That's what it's there for. So, my big home is there to host My nice home is there to convene guests who need places to stay. Parlor meetings for causes that are very worthwhile. Shiurim, places where we can coordinate and distribute incredible chesed. Everything that I have is there not just for me. I can enjoy it, too, in the meantime, along the ride, but why do I have it and why is it there? It's not And if I look fashionable, if I have jewelry, it's so I can make a kiddush Hashem where I go by being put together and being a a worthwhile ambassador of Hashem. And if I have money in my bank account, I can enjoy it on myself, but it's also there to make a difference in this world for others. We spoke about it in the parsha shiur yesterday. So, the mezuzah has both names so that they can merge into one. The synergy between the two is that what I have Shindallah Yidsha Amarlo Amadai, what I have that I bring an attitude of it's enough is meant to help position me as a platform for me to make a difference everywhere I go in this world. Ego or Elokus the theme of our book that's coming out soon. Ego or Elokus what's it all about? Ego? I have these things for me. I need a name. I need honor. I need glory. I need nice things. I need pleasure. I need more. I need most. Is it ego? Or is it no, all these things are I'm here for Elokus. What's my mission? What's my purpose? What's my why? What difference do I want to make? I can enjoy the nice things along the way. Person goes on a business trip. I travel often for business. I'm also in business. The business of show business, the business of Jewish life, the business of Jewish community. Baruch Hashem, I travel mostly for Simchas, I travel in sometimes for funerals, Shiva calls, and other reasons. I promise you could ask your heaven, makes her drives her crazy. When I travel, I try to get extra leg room, and I try to get my aisle seat, and I try to get my miles, and I try to get my status, and I try to get my upgrade. I promise you that when I'm traveling for business, I'm trying to get all the comfort I can. And if I have to stay somewhere, I'm trying within reason, right? I if I can I you're not obligated to stay or sleep only There's nothing travel the best you can. But never lose focus that I'm traveling I there's a purpose for my travel. I'm going for a reason. And that's what it's all about. And if I didn't and I couldn't, I'd still be going cuz this isn't about ego, it's about Elokus. I have a purpose. I have a mission. I'm sent on a trip. There's somewhere I have to go. There's something I have to get done. There's a purpose I have to serve. My point in saying that is you don't have to live in a hovel. You know who's here this morning who just said hello to me with the greatest humility and modesty, just showed up and blended in, and just want to say good morning with Rabbi Kanievsky Shlita, son-in-law of Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky. He's been, since the outbreak of the war, sleeping on a board, didn't afford himself a mattress or a pillow because he was in trouble, living with absolute simplicity to feel the pain at the time of hostages who are home, of soldiers, and in many and every other way lives in the ultimate simplicity. So, maybe you'll say, this simple but incredibly not simple holy Jew, I should be more like him. We're selling our house, we're going to get some cardboard boxes, we're going to put it on the sidewalk, we're going to live on a plank of wood, no pillow. That's the way we should live. No, what I'm saying is, for those, okay, no, certainly no criticism, but also that's not our aspiration. Enjoy. Get your extra legroom. Enjoy along the way, but never lose focus that you're on a business trip. We're here for a mission and a purpose. This is not a bad, we're not traveling so we get the best seat or the miles or the upgrade. We're traveling because there's a purpose, there's a mission. If you could get it and enjoy it along the way, good. Nothing wrong with that. Enjoy it. But never lose focus and never confuse what it's about, why we're here, what we're meant to do. It's okay to have a nice house, okay to have nice things. Never become confused that that's your identity. Never make it something that you can't live without. Never be part of who you are. They're just tangential. It can help you while you have it, and if you didn't have it, it wouldn't change you an iota. And while we have it, we use it for good. We direct it for good. We impact positively the people around us. And we use it to transform and redeem and repair Hashem's world. And we use it to make a kiddush Hashem in everything that we do. That's the merger of shin dalet yud and the yud keh vav keh of the two names of Hashem. Don't they contradict? Which is it? Is it enough that I'm satisfied and that's all, or I want more and I need more and I have to grow? It's not a contradiction. In the physical material, what I have is enough. In the spiritual mission, impact, I'm never done. It's never enough. It's never enough. In fact, can I say from Hakham A? I feel competitive in the realm of spirituality. Our mission, our mandate is to be happy with what we have in the physical world. Be happy with what we have. Who's a rich person? Same the Hakham A. Wealth is not defined by your portfolio, your net worth. That is not your worth. Your worth is not your net worth. In fact, many people who have a very high net worth have a very low sense of worth. And many people who have very empty bank accounts have a tremendous worth and value. >> [clears throat] >> The aforementioned Rav Chaim Kanievsky shlita, I don't know it, but I would bet my life that his net worth is not high. His worth? There are people with very low net worth with enormous worth. And there are people with very high net worth who don't know their own worth and don't feel that worth. Don't ever confuse the two because A Asher, Forbes should not put out an annual list of the 400 wealthiest. They should put out an annual list of the 400 happiest. And they might be among them. They likely would be among them, the poorest. Because simcha, joy, happiness, satisfaction, wealth is not a function of I told you what Elon Musk couple months ago tweeted. A man who's on the verge of becoming a trillionaire, the first trillionaire, tweeted, "Anyone who tells you that money can't buy happiness is correct." On his way to being a trillionaire and he's telling the world, "I'm not happy. I'm not happy." So, where does happiness then come from? If it doesn't come from being number one, bigger than all of the other 399 put together. It doesn't come from being number one, then where does it come from? Baruch Hashem, our holy sacred Torah told us, you know where it comes from? Being sameach b'chelko. It comes from saying, "You know what? I work hard. I'm proud if I do well. I'll continue to work, but wherever I am on the list, if I'm nowhere near the list, if I'll never be on any list, I'm happy. I'm happy with what I have." My happiness is not determined by my net worth. It's determined by my worth, and my worth is given by God. My worth is my mission and my purpose. My worth is that I woke up this morning. My worth is that Hashem has me here for a reason. That's my worth. That's my why. And if I know my why, I know my worth. And if I know my worth, then my net worth will not impact my happiness. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful. Work hard. Certainly, money takes away many of the challenges and struggles in life. I don't want to minimize. For those who don't have it or are struggling, those who don't know how they're putting the next meal on the table or paying their tuition bill or observing the next Yom Tov with kosher meat, I wish there are too many like it. I'm not minimizing the struggle, the pain, the the worry. It's not a small thing, and that's why we have to care, and we have to be there, and we have to respond. Chalilah, I'm not minimizing it at all. My point is one can be in that position and still be happy, and one can have all the money in the world and be miserable. They don't correlate. They're not connected. They don't go together. And that's what we have to remember, and that's what the mezuzah is teaching us. Is the mezuzah on the outside of a mansion any different than the mezuzah on the outside of a hovel? Maybe the case is different. But I'll tell you a secret, you don't need a case. Case is not the mitzvah. The mezuzah is the same. A cloth with ink, and it's the same words on the inside of Shema. The same mezuzah. The same mezuzah on the outside of a hovel and the outside of a mansion. It's the same mezuzah. Because both when they walk through the door, touch that mezuzah and remember shin dalet yud and yud kay vav kay. On the one hand, I'm happy with what I Physically, materially, I'm happy with what I have. It's from Hashem. It's not random. It's what I need. It's what's meant for me. But on the other hand, Yud Kay Vav Kay, I want to spread out. I'm not even I I'm just getting started. I gave our annual State of the Union at the shul dinner last week. It's a beautiful event. Thanks to those who put it together. I had next to nothing to do with it. Actually, that was too kind. I had nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with it. It was beautiful. And if you missed it, you missed a beautiful evening celebrating worthy honorees and celebrating Baruch Hashem our beautiful growing community. And I'd said, if anyone's caught on yet, what I say every year, which is after listing Baruch Hashem all the things that we've added, all the ways that we're growing, all the new campus that we're expanding, all the different things that we have, how did I end? What do I say all the time? And you haven't seen anything yet. The best is yet to come. We're just getting started. Because a Jew has to wake up every day feeling my best, it's yet to come. You haven't seen What are you kidding? You haven't seen I haven't davened my best Shmona Esrei. I haven't had my best parenting moment. I haven't had my best uh marriage moment. I haven't done my best chazzan. I haven't learned my my best shiur. My best? Oh, you have no idea what's about to happen. You have no idea what's coming next. We don't look at what's happened and say we're done, we're finished, we're proud, it's genug, it's enough. We say, "Are you kidding? We're just getting started. Our best is yet to come. You haven't seen anything yet." That's what it means to be a Yud. That's what it means to be a Jew. That's Yud Kay Vav Kay. Yud Kay Vav Kay is you haven't seen anything yet. We're just getting started. Whereas Shin Dalet Yud Zayin is we're happy with what we have. It's good. We're happy with what we have. We're happy with what we have. Turn the page. Last page. When it comes to the physical material, you know, I'm good. I'm good. But when it comes to Torah, I'm not good. I'm not good. Are you kidding? There's so much more to learn. There's so many more ways to grow. So many more ways I want to improve. More, more, more. I want to grow, grow, grow. Implement, execute, improve, progress. More. Everything I encounter, all that I see, everything that I have, I just want to contribute to contribute to my being bigger and better. I'm not satisfied. I'm not gratified. It's not stuck. I'm not where I am. A marriage is in trouble if a couple say, "You good? I'm good. The relationship works out. We're good? We're good." No. We haven't had our best marriage moment. We haven't experienced our best getaway. We haven't had our best year. We haven't had our best conversation. We haven't had our best We're improving. We're growing. We're still learning about each other. We're still improving ourselves. We're still learning each other's love language. We're still learning how to anticipate and not only respond. We're still learning how to nurture and nourish. We're still learning. And if you want to learn, ladies, don't miss the class tomorrow night at 8:15 at our home. We've all been banned from the premises, but 8:15 at our home. What's the title of the talk? An intimate conversation about intimacy and marriage or something like that. So, if you're invested and want your marriage to not be done and finished, but for your best to be at to come, then at the Goldberg home, 8:15 Thursday night in the backyard. No, it's not being recorded or streamed. You have to be there in person. Person, it's a sensitive subject that only in person, but not entering the stratosphere out there. But in our backyard yard, weather permitting, please God. I've offered you cigars for anyone who wants, but she turned that down. She turn that down. Um but your marriage is on the rocks and in trouble, I would argue. If a couple, whether they're 22 years old or even 80 years old, if a couple say, "We're finished. We're done. We've arrived. It is where it is. You're ready to lock it in. You're good? I'm good. You're good? You're good? Yeah, we'll keep it this way." No, you're still learning. I don't know. And nobody should answer. But however many years you're married, do you not still say, "Huh, we're still learning about each other, you know? We're still improving. You see, I finally got Don't give up on me. I finally got that. I still haven't anticipated. Now I know how to respond. Now I know how to anticipate. Now I know what We're still learning. Still growing. And it's it's amazing. And maybe you got away. Maybe you were local but just had a conversation. Maybe it was a date night and you came home and said, "That was amazing. I feel closer than ever. I feel more complete, more made whole, more two halves becoming a whole than ever. In our relationship with the Rebono shel Olam, Kiruv Hashem, litov that we crave, the closeness to Hashem, that intimate rendezvous with the Almighty, we're never a God, you're good? I'm good. We're good. Yeah, I go through my day the motions, put on my tfillin, did my davening. Yeah, we're good. You're good. I'm good. We're good. No, Hashem, you're good. No, what are you talking about? Good? We're just getting started. We're getting closer and closer. We're feeling more and more connected. More and more love. More and more connection. And by the way, don't you want to travel the world together? Don't you want to go on the adventure called life together? Don't you want to see and learn and experience and come back changed and transformed? By doing that together, says Hashem. That's emunah. That's the mezuzah. That's his dual messages. That's the two names. When it comes to material physical, one thing. When it comes to the spiritual, our closeness to him, the other. That's not a contradiction. That works together perfectly in synergy. It's true in our physical life and it's true in our spiritual life, to never ever be done, to always to be looking, to be yearning, to be growing, to wanting to be coming together. I can tell you some of the most amazing marriages in our community that I'm exposed to are those who've been married, I'm not exaggerating right now because there are a few in our community like it, who've been married over 70 years. Over 70 years. 70 years. Yeah, one is experiencing celebrating a 102nd birthday this Shabbos morning. Believe I and her what a beautiful marriage. You think they're done, they've arrived, they're finished? You look at the two of them interact and it's like it's unbelievable. Unbelievable. My dear friends Tommy and Sid should be well. They're like newlyweds. They make you nauseous sometimes the way Tommy talks about Sid. They Tommy talks about Sid like newlyweds. In the high 90s, married over 70 years like newlyweds. What are you done? No, it's beautiful. Just getting started, still learning, still devoted. And the more life throws at you, the more you're learning how to be there for one another. It's still What do you say? I'm good, you good, let's lock it in. We celebrated our first anniversary and this is this is the our paradigm how we Okay, we'll just do that now for the next 69 years. No, every year. If you don't mark your anniversary by looking at how much closer you got, how much more you grew, how much you came together, don't be satisfied with that. More [clears throat] and more and bigger and better. And that's our relationship with Hashem Kerva Selokim, more and more and bigger and better. 102nd birthday of Reb Fox, you should live and be well for many more years. It's amazing Rabbits. We should aspire, we should see that we have role models and examples all around us in our marriages and in our marriage with Hashem. Shir Shirim. We're about to stand under the chuppah on Shavuos. We're coming to our Sinai, he's going to stand under the chuppah. We're getting ready. We came out of Mitzrayim, we're engaged, we're getting ready for our wedding with him. We're going to stand under the chuppah Kerva Selokim. We want to grow closer and closer. So when it comes to physical material, we have what we need. We have what we what's designed for us. But our relationship with him only more and more. Okay, I wanted to finish it this week, we'll finish it next week. And then we'll move on to our incredible piece by the the Garris Yeshiva on Tehillim. Which chapter do you think we're going to learn? That's right. Kaf Gimmel. B'ezras Hashem, keep the emails coming. Everyone should get a good night's sleep. Questions and answers for a few minutes for those who are here in person. It's the reward for coming in person. Please stay afterwards for all of Sefer Tehillim. For those who need we should hear besuros tovos, yeshuos, v'nechamos.