How to Protect Your Energy as a Sensitive Soul

So, you know here at the this channel, this YouTube channel called Soul Words, we often speak to a type of person that I call a sensitive soul. And whatever that means to you, whatever those words mean to you, I'll tell you briefly what it means to me. We're talking about people who struggle with embodiment, which everyone really should struggle with embodiment cuz it's a weird thing to think of boundless light, which is your soul, being plunged into this meat suit, this very confining, constricting container. And then being like assaulted with this onslaught of physical stimuli. Now, if I sound like a wacko right now, you're probably in the wrong place or at least this is the wrong video for you. But if this resonates with you and you're like, "Yeah, actually, I know what you mean. Existence in a body is weird and uncomfortable." Um yeah, so I'm talking to you. And we're going to speak about today, and I'm speaking to myself as well because I I I don't come about this academically. I have personal experience with 51 years of trying to negotiate through this weirdness called being a soul in a body. Okay. And and God should give me good health and I should have many more years. And by the way, that was not It was not always that I could say that so easily cuz embodiment was something that I considered to be a real liability. But um part of my spiritual journey has been appreciating the uniqueness of being in a body and what we can do for Hashem, our our maker, for God, while we're in bodies that we can't do as souls in heaven. So, at any rate, uh but that we'll speak about that maybe another time. Let's talk about the topic for today, which is guarding yourself from uh negative energy, protecting yourself, creating sort of a uh force field, if you will, as a sensitive soul. Because it's a very important thing. Um I'll describe the problem, then I'll try to get to the solution with God's help. You know, the problem you all know. I mean, if you're still watching this, I don't have to tell you what the problem is. You know what the problem is. I'll just give words to it, which might make it easier to um well, I was going to say to explain it to others, but sometimes that's a lost cause. But but but at least to have words for it for yourself, your own reference. Sensitive souls often happen to be very energetically aware. I know that sounds kind of spacey, but what I mean is, you know, there's all types of stimuli, physical stimuli. Some people have really good eyesight. Some people have really good hearing, you know, like an artist uh who has a great eye or a musician who has a great ear. Uh other people pick up on I guess we call sixth sense, you know, that extra sensory perception. And and I'm not Look, I I I I know I'm a rabbi and so you probably think I'm a You may have certain prejudices about my beliefs. I I I am a skeptic in many ways. I am a skeptic in many ways. And and yet I am forced to believe that there are stimuli that are beyond the five senses. Certainly, there are stimuli beyond the five senses. And that we human beings do pick up on those stimuli and that some people to a greater extent and some to a a lesser extent. Okay, so I'm not here purporting to be a psychic or, you know, Swami ESP or whatever. Um but I am saying certain sensitive souls like us, we do pick up on energy. Whatever that means to you, however you interpret that to mean, but I'm describing the feeling of, let's say, being in a room and having intense feelings that are not your own. Um because other people are sort of leaking that energy. And if this sounds crazy to you, okay, so be it. But if you're listening to this and you're like, "Yeah, I totally know what you mean that you know, if I go to a gathering, not only am I exhausted from socializing." That's a whole other discussion about how tiring it is to to socialize. But even if you were just to sort of sit in the corner in the room by yourself, just soaking in all of the energy that people are giving off is uh is tiring because it's you have to process all of that. And and if you don't even know what's happening, then you don't even know you have to process all of it, so that it can sometimes uh really hijack your whole day or or or days. Could take sometimes days to come back to yourself after being exposed to a lot of other people's energy. So, we need to have So, that's the problem. That's the problem. Let's talk about the solution as far as being uh energetically safe. So, the first important component to the answer to the problem, to the solution, is just awareness, simple awareness, just knowing that this is going on. And uh that can mean saying no, meaning uh declining invitations to go out and about, uh to attend uh social functions, just to realize, "You know what? I'm not going to be able to handle that today." And uh you know, I'll send a nice card. I'll write a letter. No one writes letters nowadays. You'll probably stand out even more writing a letter than showing up at someone's party. Uh I mean, it's nice to show up at people's parties. And one of the things I've learned to do and I really challenged myself and pushed myself in this area is to show up at social functions, not cuz I like it, but because people seem to appreciate it. But when when you can't, you can't. So, one thing is just to know uh discretion is the better part of valor. Sometimes just to say, "I'm not going to be able to make it." That's one thing. Uh another thing is when you do when you do attend a uh social function where you're going to interact with people. I want to back up for a second. So, I said sometimes saying no, like declining an invitation. There's another thing. Uh there's a subset of that, which is saying no to yourself. Sometimes you have an errand to run or something where you're going to have to go out of the house. Um you have to go to Home Depot or whatever it is. So, sometimes you have to say no to yourself and you have to be mature enough to say, "Do I really have the bandwidth right now to do this?" Like it's so easy to forget, but you have to try to recall, "Hold on a second. I know this about myself. Being out and about is going to tax my system." And then you have to think to yourself, "Do I have other obligations coming up in the next few days?" And I know to some people this sounds like bizarre, but to some of us this is this is a reality. And you have to budget. You have to budget. Just like if you have a certain amount of money, like we all have a finite amount of money, right? No none of us have infinite money. And you have expenses, so you budget. You don't overextend. Don't don't put something on the credit card that you can't pay off this month. Don't do that. Okay? So too, just like financially, so too emotionally, um just try to think to yourself a little bit before you put yourself in a situation where you're going to be exposed to a lot of human energy, like "Can I afford this? There's going to be a price tag. There's going to be a price to pay. Can I afford it right now?" Sometimes the answer is, "Yeah, I I I I know what it costs, but it's worth the cost. There's a cost-benefit analysis." And so you go for it, and yeah, it drains you a little bit, but or it drains you a lot even, but whatever it is that you needed to go for was worth it. And and also you're cognizant of the fact that you have the the bandwidth to take it or you think that you're going to be able to take it. But if you think, "No, my bandwidth is already very, very low, and I got some important obligations coming up soon. I'm not going to It would be It would be reckless of me to overextend myself right now." So, say no to yourself. Okay. So, that's another thing. Now, I I was about to say, "Now, what if you do say yes to someone else or to yourself and you attend some type of an event that's going to put you into interaction with others?" So, here's the deal. Uh it's it's important to learn something that comes very naturally to a certain type of person. And I really admire this particular kind of person. Uh they're These are people who are the opposite of people pleasers. And by the way, the opposite of a people pleaser is not a people displeaser. I want to speak about that for a second. People pleasers and people displeasers are really two sides of the same coin. They're very, very into what other people think of them. Either way, if you're a people pleaser or a people displeaser, you're very, very into what other people think of you. Then there's the opposite. So, those are not really opposites of each other. They're like kind of like the same uh the same breed. They're both of them are very focused on what someone else's reaction is going to be. But then there are people who are the opposite of that. They just do their own thing and they have their own internal moral compass, or at least you hope that it's a moral compass. Not all of them are doing it from moral conviction, but you know, in the best case, they're doing it from moral conviction. And they have their principles as their guide. And that's it. And if they can do you a favor, they do you a favor. And if they want to talk to you, they talk to you. And if that that doesn't work and they can't do it or they have other things to do or they're they're not shy about telling you that, you know, I'm I'm sorry, I got to do something else right now or it's been nice. I got to go. You learn from those people. Learn from those people. If you are in a social situation and you're interacting with somebody, and I should also add that you know, it's so interesting. Hashem, God Almighty, created so many different types of people. He created people like sensitive souls like I'm describing. Uh he he also created people who I don't have a name for this personality type, but um I well, I do have a name for it, but it's negative and I I don't want to say it cuz it's negative. Um I I I don't want to say emotional vampire. But so I'm not going to say that. But people who are very emotionally needy. And what's interesting is that people who are very emotionally needy seem to have a very keen sense of where to find sensitive souls. And it's this very strange type of symbiosis where I mean, I'll describe it from the perspective of the sensitive soul. It's like on one hand, I'm the person who can least afford to have somebody emotionally vampirize me because I'm tired just by being out and about dealing with quote unquote normal people talking about normal things, and that's already very taxing. But then somebody with the most like outrageous crazy story is going to come zero in on me from across the room and and have to tell me their entire life story. Um right? Like why me? Like I'm the last person who has the resources to deal with this. But on the other hand, I I kind of makes sense because I'm the person who's going to actually stand there for the longest. Most other people are not going to play ball. And um you know, I have theories about why sensitive souls do get pulled in and play ball. Uh I I have a couple theories. One is that we find all social interactions draining. So we're not that quick to identify when a particular social interaction is extra draining or like beyond the norm draining cuz they're all draining, right? That's one reason. Uh another reason is because, you know, sometimes they call sensitive souls empaths. Uh that word has a certain connotation especially on the internet, so I kind of want to avoid it cuz I just want to be harassed for using that term. Um I guess I'm too sensitive. But you know, the sensitive souls who are more empathic, so they actually do often have really keen insight. Pretty sharp pattern recognition. It almost seems like they're psychic sometimes, right? So they can often offer other people really kind of cool insights about themselves. Oh, did you ever notice such and such? Wow, that's amazing. That was worth 10 years of therapy in 30 seconds, right? I don't know. I was just pointing out something that I thought was obvious, right? So when you're able to do party tricks like that and I call party tricks because uh well, I call party tricks because it does convey somewhat of my disdain for that practice because I do believe at the end of the day for sensitive souls, it becomes an intimacy blocker. It becomes a cute thing that we're known for and it does not allow us to be known for our authentic selves. So that's why I have a little disdain for it and I call it a party trick, which has an an inherently and decidedly negative connotation. That's deliberate. At any rate, so you do this the cute party trick of, you know, the the the cold reading, so to speak. You know, psychic reading. Um I say psychic reading in quotes, obviously. But um so people appreciate that, right? But here's the thing. A and I'm going to use the word normal in quotes, but a normal person gets one of those amateur psychic readings, whatever you want to call it. Values the insight and they thank you, and then maybe they'll apply that insight. The person who's exceptionally emotionally needy is not going to ever feel satiated. So the fact that you offered them like a really great insight, like something really valuable a real truth bomb of self-awareness that they could if they would go and run with it, it would really actually help them. That's never happening. Um because they don't want the insight, they want the emotional currency that the insight represents. I want to back up and repeat that. They don't want the insight. That's irrelevant to them. The insight represents emotional currency. It's like a person who has an expensive car, but they don't drive it. They just want to have a car that's expensive. Um The the the insight is not something they're going to go use, so they don't want it to to use it. They want it because it represents something of value that was given to them. And what it encourages them to do is to make a bid for more. So it's kind of like the unspoken counter move that they make is thank you for that insight, give me another. Give me another. Validate me again. Validate me again. But it's a it's a bottomless pit, so they never get validated. And what happens is they're they're not more validated or comforted from the interaction. The sensitive soul is wiped out from the interaction, and it's like a net negative after it's all done. So if you're the sensitive soul, you have to know that when you are in such an interaction, when you recognize that that's what's happening, when you recognize that somebody who's there to deplete you. And I say this without judgment. I'm not condemning such people. Um I think they do it based on very basic survival uh needs. And and I have a lot of compassion for it. But I'm not helping anyone by playing this game. You're not getting actually helped. I'm only getting exhausted. And then I'm not there to help the people who actually do rely on me. So uh regarding energetic safety, when you're out and about, if you do meet somebody who's exceptionally emotionally needy, again, I'm not going to use the word emotional emotional vampire cuz I think it's well, a vampire is a monster and I don't want to monsterize another human being. But when you're dealing with someone who has a lot of emotional needs, insatiable emotional needs, and you realize that, and you realize that that's what you're dealing with, I just want to teach you a simple method that you already know, but I just want to give you the not only permission, but I want to give you the encouragement to use it. You end the conversation say, "Thank you so much. I have to go." That I have to go. I have something else to do right now. Uh you don't have to be coy. You don't have to say, "Oh, I think my mother's calling me." You can just say, "I have to go." And then literally walk 10 ft away, and you don't have to pretend to find something else to do in order to sort of make your alibi more believable. Um It's okay that you told them um "I'm done." You said it in a polite way. I know it's hard for us to use language that way cuz and we don't like hints. We don't like to be hinted to, and we certainly don't like to give hints. Uh we like to say things very bluntly. Uh so you'll have a chance for that. So if you say, "Oh, I have to go." and then you walk 10 ft away, and they follow you, then you can say it bluntly, and you can say, "I'm done." "I'm done." Uh if they follow you or they persist after that, I'm going to give you permission and encouragement to say, "I'm too tired to have this conversation now. I I can't talk to you anymore." That's really rude and and impolite. It's okay. This other person has already uh been very rude and and impolite. So it's okay. Um I I I I'll put it this way. They probably won't even be especially offended. So you'll feel worse about it than they will. Yeah, I can almost promise you that. Okay, fine. Uh and uh then the last thing I want to tell you about energetic safety is that let's talk about not just what happens when you're out and about and people have access to you because you are present, but let's talk about when people make a bid for you, they're trying to reach you. Unfortunately, we have these devices today which make us accessible and reachable 24, or in my case, 24/6. Thank God for Shabbos. Uh so I'm only reachable 24/6 by this device. But people feel that they have access, free access. And here's the thing I want to tell you. Um This is an unpopular opinion. People are going to tell me this is terrible, this is rude, this is awful. I'm sorry. This is what I'm going to tell you. You do not have to respond to every email, you do not have to respond every text, you do not have to respond every call. I know some people will tell me that it's terribly rude. You have to at least respond and say, "I'm sorry, I'm busy." I'm going to tell you why you don't have to do that. A lot of us have trouble with um changing gears. And to get focused on a task, like writing an email, "Thank you for reaching out, but I'm busy right now. I can't talk to you right now." Yes, it's a goal to be able to write such an email. It should take 10 seconds to to write it and send it. But the reality is for you, that may cause you to be derailed from your regular tasks for the day, and it may cost you I mean, it's no exaggeration to say it could cost you an hour. Or could cost you an hours because the the anxiety about writing the email can cause you to go into a procrastination loop where you lose so much time. So, I'm just going to give you permission and encouragement that you do not have to respond to people. Now, if you're in the middle of a I guess I should give a disclaimer, caveat. If you're in the middle of a back and forth conversation, especially one that you initiated, but even if you didn't initiate it, but it's like a dialogue where you're going back and forth, then it's kind of weird to just not respond to somebody again cuz you left them hanging. So, for that, you got to kind of force yourself to say, "I got to get back to you." You can just write that. "I got to get back to you." Okay. Um but if they're reaching out to you, you do not have to respond. Just move on. Just move on. Okay. Um I guess one more thing I'll add. One more thing is let's say it's somebody who already has access to you because a friend, a family member, someone you're in a relationship with, or could even be a co-worker, but somebody who you are exposed to regularly. The relationship is already past the, you know, small talk, hi, bye phase. That there's actually some type of uh a connection. So, this person already has access to you. Here's what I want to tell you. If people want to get to know you, then they can get to know you. And they can get to appreciate your limitations. One of the very important things to get about getting to know somebody is to get to know their limitations. See, limitations are not failing. That's one of the things I think a lot of us sensitive souls think. We think our limitations are synonymous with failing, with a failing. Like, if I let you know what I can't do, that's telling you how I'm deficient. That's telling you where I'm I'm not good enough. But the reality is everything has its limitations. Okay? The This cup is a is a certain size. It has a limitation. I mean, even the fact that it's a certain color, so that's a limitation. It's blue, not red. Everything that has a description has a limitation. Descriptions are limitations. They are the contours of anything that give it its qualities. So, someone who gets to know you should get to know your limitations. Meaning what you're comfortable doing, what you're not comfortable doing, what you can do, but you need a lot of warning, like um and you have to learn to articulate that and self-advocate and say, "Yeah, I'm ready to do that, but if you spring it on me a minute before, I'm going to be no good. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm ready to do this, but you got to tell me 24 hours in advance, no problem." And you have to learn that about yourself and to be able to convey it honestly to people. Um you know, something like that. That's a perfect example. Like, "Yes, you can tell me we have to do, I don't know, I got to want to use again the example of attending a social function cuz I used that earlier. But, you know, tell me a task. I need you to get all your boxes out of the garage. No problem. But you can't tell me a minute before. You have to tell me 24 hours before. And now I'm going to tell you something, if you want to really get to know me, I'm going to move my boxes a minute before. But I needed to know 24 hours before. So, don't be confused by the fact that I didn't do it until a minute before and think that the next time you can tell me about it a minute before, you have to tell me about it 24 hours before. I'll probably do it at the last minute, but I needed the 24-hour warning just to turn this ship around. Do you understand? When you're sailing a massive ocean liner, it takes hours to change trajectory. It's a big juggernaut, and it just it yeah, you have to just even to move it takes time. You got to give me that time, you got to give me heads-up. Okay, fine. So, those are some tips. Um oh, JFYI, if you want to be part of a community, an online community, a virtual community of people who identify with this kind of stuff and it this kind of stuff resonates with them. We have a thing called Soul Survivors. You made it this far into the video, probably this speaks to you. So, we have a monthly thing we we meet virtually once a month. And uh there's a forum where I post different essays and insights and people comment and I respond to their comments. And uh if you want to check that out, that's uh soulwords.org/ soul survivors. Soul survivors not S O L E like sole, the only survivor. It's a pun. Soul survivors S O U L survivors, people who are sensitive souls and are hopefully not just surviving, but I'll use the cliché, ultimately thriving in this world. Uh we'll put the link in the description down below. And we hope to see you there. But uh if you don't want to subscribe to Soul Survivors, saying this as a sensitive soul, cuz uh whatever, you don't want to pay for paid content, no problem, totally cool. We got hours and hours and hours of free content here at the YouTube channel, way more than you could probably uh consume. Uh so, that's cool as well. But if you want to be part of the the subscriber community, you can do that, too. Whatever works for you is beautiful. Thanks for listening.