How to PARENT your CHILD with Love

this child is a soul and that means that they are intrinsically worthy unconditionally worthy and infinitely worthy so three things that I talk about in the parenting course that a soul and therefore every child is intrinsically worthy unconditionally worthy and infinitely worthy intrinsically worthy means their worth comes from within they don't have to go out and do something to get it doesn't have to be acquired unconditional means they can't lose it there's nothing they can do to lose their worth which is related to Intrinsic that it's built in and it's infinite infinite means how worthy are they there's no number for it and if you really want to be philosophical Infinity is not only that which cannot be detracted from Infinity is that which cannot be added to either if you want to be philosophical for a moment because Infinity really there's nothing you can do to make it less but there's nothing you can do to make it any more than it is already so the real value of a soul can't be lost but it can't even be embellished it's already as great as it could possibly be I was this morning I was with a group at the oo I do that quite often umem since coming to the five towns is one of the things I've been had the Merit to be involved in probably at this point probably over a 100 groups and it's something I'm very happy to do last night somebody called me I think at 8:00 P.M he said we're coming from Toronto tomorrow and uh in fact he told me we're landing at Teterboro and I said listen I don't know who else you're calling to set up your trip but don't everyone here knows Teterboro is where the private jets land so if you want to get a break on anything like don't mention you're Landing in t he's like oh yeah you're right you know that's please you know just LaGuardia just say it's LaGuardia don't yeah okay anyways so they came from Teterboro and they came to the aisle and um so they I I had 10 minutes to speak to them I had 10 minutes to speak to them so uh what am I going to tell them about going to the oil they said speak about a relationship with the Reb and going to the Reb's resting place and writing to the debbit in 10 minutes 10 minutes yeah 10 minutes and that took one of the 10 minutes so then it was nine yeah so I said um that I had a teacher who when he was 13 years old he he I mean this was in the back in the 1950s when every 13-year-old Bar Mitzvah boy had had a private audience with the rebit so which is crazy if you think about it so he asked huh so he asked his teacher who was R KH all of a Shalom when I go into how am I supposed to conduct myself so you know in the classic you know harsh Russian Gruff style he says forget it I'll go instead of you so he's like no I'm just asking when I go into some private audience with the how do I conduct myself he says no no I'll go instead of you I like I'm just asking how am I he says listen to me this world the physical world is a false World normally when we say that we mean things aren't what they seem that we see things and we we buy into the delusion that there's creation without Creator right that's what we mean when we say the world is a false world but um that's not how meant in that context what he meant was the physical world is a false World in it means that in this world where you're embodied you don't see your true self so the falsehood means you're divorced from your own true identity the soul and you play a role and you go through life people think you're something and you even think that you're something and it's not really who you are soel says to the B Mitzvah boy says in this world of falsehood there's one Dad one four cubits meaning one little compartment of emus there's one place where you are the real you and in the one place where you are the real you you're asking me how to behave so I told them you're going into the Ole to the Deb is resting place which is it's a one-on-one meeting that's what the rebba said the rebba said going to said it about his father-in-law's resting place that it's a one-on-one meeting so I said one-on-one meeting with the rebba is an opportunity to be seen for who you really are and you know if you ever met anyone who even went by the de for dollars for half a second what do they what do they say is like I felt someone really saw me I felt seen right so what are you going to see okay you're not going to see that because it's very different going into the aisle than going buy for dollars but what you see is irrelevant here what's really important is how you are seen and what's happening is you're being seen for your real self when you go into the oil and you present yourself to a sadic who's a loving father who sees you for who you really are then you leave from that interaction feeling empowered to live up to that okay I didn't want to make this about and O and re but I think this is very important you want to know what a parent has the ability to do a parent has the ability to be that for their child the way the was able to look at you and make you feel that you're the only thing in the world and that your value is infinite and unconditional and intrinsic every parent can do that for their child I want to tell you something the worst people for this message I said this in Crown Heights and the liters all came to me afterwards and they said it's not true the debit didn't I said what are what are you talking about the was always demanding from people I said that's true do you know how the Reba was able to get away with demanding from people because the rebba looked at every Jew as already being enough being perfect you couldn't be more than you already are and since you're already perfect who you are is perfect you couldn't be any more perfect now it's only logical to ask you to express that in your Deeds that's how the de was able to get away with that every parent can and should do the same exact thing tell your child you don't have to tell them they know you can't lie the eyes don't lie when you light up when they enter the room they will know that you see them as intrinsically worthy and infinitely worthy and unconditionally worthy and then when they know that that sense of self is Rock Solid you can ask them to do a lot you probably won't even have to ask because they'll feel up to the task and that's the power that parents have that's the power that we really have the power we have is to give our children a self-concept to give our children a strong sense of worthiness and value and self-respect but in order to do that to in order to give our children that sense of self we have to be super super careful not to infringe not to Mis appro rate any of the emotional energy in the relationship because it's all supposed to go this direction it's all supposed to be flowing from us to them we're supposed to be the consumate selfless givers in the relationship and give them a sense of self that's strong enough to go out into the world and to achieve and to to to fulfill their mission that their soul came here for so we we got to always check in with ourselves and we got to always be we got to be honest with ourselves we got to check our motives make sure our motives are clean am I trying to take from my child am I trying to get Social proof from my child you know like I want to be seen with my child in a certain light I want my child to be known in a certain way am I trying to get validation for my child tell me I'm good tell me I work hard tell me you appreciate what I did it's not cute is it difficult it's very difficult it's more than difficult it's painful it's it's thankless it's exhausting and if you're lucky you have a spouse who's also ready to do this with you and you can just look at each other and say this is awful but we're in it together so let's just finish let's get to the end let's raise these kids right but that that's a that's best case scenario right nobody's getting validation off of this thing but if you can do it if you can be there for you child to be their safe person you're setting them up for Life somebody once told me if my kid ever does something stupid and gets in trouble I don't want him to say oh no if my dad finds out he'll kill me I want him to say oh no I better call my dad hey this is shase tab you were just watching a clip from this class if you want to get the full context the full class that this clip clip that you just watched with from you watch right here click right here here