How to handle tests from G-d

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] a good story in judging situations the right way and how things turn out so when i became uh observant i went to yeshiva after that i met my wife we got married bo hashem and for the first few years of our marriage i started shivan learned torah all day long and we were poor like we didn't have money for anything my wife would come to the yeshiva i would take two portions of food because we had food in the shiva go out and we would sit on the street and eat on a bench food we didn't have money we would invite ourselves to people on friday nights on shabbat because we didn't have money for food but anyways after a while my first daughter was born and to make a very long story short at some point i needed to go to work somebody came with a bold idea and i opened a photography business and i became a wedding photographer which was a very success first of all was a very successful business turned out after a year that became a very very successful business and more than that for seven years i was running the business and it was not that you worked 24 7. sometimes i had months without work but every wedding i would charge a lot of money and sometimes they would do two weddings a month three weddings a month that would sustain me more than enough and i would similar in torah all day long so for seven years i was able to sit and learn torah and yeshiva and manage a very successful business and i had a few months they were like very very busy but there was months like the whole omer no weddings the whole certain months in the year there's no weddings anyways after a while that i got into the business became very successful life became very good hashem i was sitting learning torah i had another two kids and at some point i got this billion dollar idea for some startup some unbelievable software that would be the best tool for photographers that you can think of nothing like that in the market and me as being a photographer i was like this is going to be like the best tool that any professional photographer can use and in america there's 80 000 then was 80 000 registered photographers i was like ah this is going to be a billion dollar billion but millions of dollars and you know very sophisticated software that gives a lot of tools to photographers anyways okay so i found uh a developer showed him the the idea made him sign the the contract that he you know nda anyways long story short no problem i can do it he gave me references everything the whole nine yards okay we're getting to start developing after a month or two i'm ready to show me something okay to make a very long story short two months pass three months pass four months pass and i'm pouring money into the development and after a few months nothing here like a little piece of lear and he keeps telling me no no yeah no i'm working on it soon soon soon to make a very long story short about it doesn't matter so much about a year into development and tens of thousands of dollars being poured in he didn't provide anything to make a very long story short it was about a period of a year plus and of course when i saw he's not developing anything so i told me just develop me this component will market that and i was trying like to kind of save the situation the point was that after a very long while and a lot of money poured into it a lot because that's that's what happens when you don't have much experience then uh was close to a quarter of a million dollars of investments and this in my hand and okay so i was like at some point i was like first of all i was like just stop first of all stop give me what you have i'll try to sell this part i'll try to do this and of course we were try i was trying to save the situation so i told him to start developing this and that to make a long story short over a year passed i don't have my product and tons of money is being poured into it and i didn't know what to do i didn't know how to digest such a thing now if it was somebody i don't know that's one thing but this individual was one of the members of the show where i would pray i was the goodbye in that show and he was one of the members the test here was not at this point if i get upset at him or not as if what do i say when people are asking me how is the development going on how's the investment what's going on now of course it was backwards and forth backwards and forth and the whole time he's blaming me you kept adding all sorts of features you had you did this you did that i'm like you didn't give me nothing to make of the meta very long story short i i didn't even know how i had some type of super powers to not freak out completely and seeing this individual every day anyways at some point i i was like literally taking it as it is and there was like a quiet of a few weeks and of course people were you know and whoever i was talking nobody knew anything there was no no nothing of course everybody was constantly asking what's going on but there was a few people that i would consult without telling who's the person of course everybody told me sue him take him to bait him blah blah okay i got a phone call after like a few like a month or something i didn't hear from here and he tells me you still a balance of thirty thousand dollars for the last few weeks of development and you have to pay that this is where the you know the the how do you call it the the gauge went above red the the esteem was coming out from my ears i owe you thirty thousand dollars this is where i almost flipped out and i i literally lost it and that was the first and only time that i told him something along the line i'm going to rip your head off if i see you i'm going to kill you in other words anyways why am i saying this it says a lot the story is much longer there's a lot of information in that first of all just imagine i'm the goodbye in the show he's the only lady in the show i have to come three times a week to the torah and i have to give him also a blessing and nobody knows and i have to play cool if not there would be some type of uh this is a small show it's not like a 500 member show anyways and every time i have to call him up and and then he somehow moves to the same building where i live every morning the the [Music] elevator opens ding i'll take the stairs this is not a test that was an exam it was a whole university and then of course can you imagine the test of not saying he deserves it i didn't these thoughts came up he's getting it back nothing nobody knew about it besides of course my wife and me everything was like business as usual it was the biggest biggest test when it comes to judging losing anger genre violently attacking whatever it was i didn't even know how hashem gave me superpowers to digest it and of course listen i'm not an angel there were nights that i i was for weeks couldn't fall asleep from the anger like how happy you know what i mean i mean and i'm really giving you the short short short version of the story because came a lot of uh you know internal uh i don't even know how to call it in hebrew you would say all sorts of like what what do i do here do i physically attack him do i burn down his house do i sue him what do i do so but hashem there was unbelievable miracle and i kept praying to the geological don't let me lose my my my focus don't don't let me lose my my level that i worked so hard and praying and learning and chew up because of this and i got to a point that i i said okay i accept this as my tikkun in the past i saw a lot of money i embezzled a lot of money i was a crooked business i was the biggest liar the biggest fraud in business i was 25 years old with millions of dollars everything of course on kosher when the camera is off i might tell you what but and i was like okay it's coming from the kadosh boho everything is from the canon to a point that that not only that i was wasn't judgmental i wasn't angry didn't held any grudge to a point that i was able to so let it go and of course we were almost every class i did we dedicated to his son bo hashem his son is fine god got through it and everything was good it was such a test it was months months because people would ask me how is the program going on especially the rabbi of the show and he knows and what am i going to tell him i'm like no no it's going it's going great amazing and but now i have to now i'm in a situation i said i have to start making applies how do i get out of this it wasn't a nice situation at all but the point is that after this all passed and both my wife and me we were like okay whatever it's a cuppa an atonement tikkun from the kalosh boho i'm letting it all go now you know it wasn't only the last of the actual money and the time it's the potential of what it could have made when i went to some legal advisor he told me you sue him not only for the money you gave him for the potential it could have done anyways to make a very long story long story short it was a a powerful powerful test i can't even start explaining what level of a test it was because the test was on so many different levels not to be judgmental not to be angry not to lose my temper not to slander him not to sell a shoulder not to not to not to not or not but i can tell you that once we were able to let go and to completely really let go the point that i don't care at all i like literally wrote it off only after that i'm telling you there was unbelievable blessings in our life that came in showers and i right away made the unbelievable connection that i was like you know what if i would lose my temper lose my anger be judgmental slander him and tear into pieces and you know that you know what's the biggest hotspot i mean i'm telling you the story is wrong people would call me he would give me as a reference and people will call me oh so-and-so said he developed software for you how was he uh yeah he was number one [Music] when i got the first phone call i was like are you kidding me is this a prank oh i didn't want to get myself into as it is i had to get myself into lies because i had to kind of not get myself into a uh an uncomfortable situation the point is i'm really telling you very little of the details but to make the point is that i accepted that that was the will of the kadosh bahu it came as a tikkun i had to obviously get rid of that money i mean to lose that money it was the best university i ever got my wife told me you just paid a quarter of a million dollars for high education say thank you and uh the funny thing was that when i would calm myself down my wife was out of her element then she would come down i would be out of my and we would like start each other and then calm each other down the bottom line is that after this whole fiasco besides the valuable lesson that i learned i saw clearly the how the kadosh boho said you passed the test as they say with flying colors and after that came unbelievable blessing in all walks of life and i was like look at this i could have lose my ulama because of this by slandering him you know how tempting it was to slander him and to demolish his name and his reputation anything i mean it was so tempting everything so you know that's why i told you three days ago patience let things evolve how they have to evolve and the same thing like i got a phone call that i owned three another thirty thousand dollars there was many other phone calls and letters and also it was like a period of almost a year of like what's going to be next now with this guy but it paid off at the end it paid off and i saw clearly that i could have either gained everything or lose everything and how patience and mature how would you say maturity maturity being calculated not quick to judge not quick to react i mean i'm telling you i was this it was one of the biggest tests i have in my 20 years of doing juva and it was not easy and you know up until then nobody knows nobody knows some nothing under somebody even asked me whatever happened with that thing no no it didn't work out it didn't work out really oh yeah so do you recommend so-and-so yeah yeah of course of course that's developer in town so but you know what one of the most valuable lessons that i got is what doesn't belong to you doesn't matter what you're gonna do you're never gonna get it and obviously that money didn't belong to me for whatever reason i don't know i'm not asking questions but more than that the business the software didn't wasn't supposed to be maybe an idea that just came out to the world and i think that it never never came such an idea to the to to to be actually developed if you want to go into some business i said that story not too long or in some lecture and i said there somebody asked me to do is there anything like this in the market i said no he's like can we talk after the lecture so the bottom line is you know life is a long movie sometimes it's worth staying till the end to see how it ends and instead of getting all upset at the end in the middle of the movie wait till the end sometime life is like a hollywood production that ends very very good and you see clearly how the suffering the lost the anger everything was just the step to get to the real prize to the real portion you need to gain that's how sometimes sitting back and waiting is patience is worth gold everything it's i didn't say it's easy but definitely worth it i will highly recommend to test that yourself at home [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] so you