How To Get Out Of Your Own Way

Shalom and welcome to practical spirituality here at Asia Turin in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount today we're going to talk about a subject that maybe would never have dawned on you before and there's something maybe never thought about and that is that the story of your own life is in the way of your connection to God the story of your life in the way of the connection your connection and gun does anyone here have a life story right now anyone in here I have a life story right now you have a life story right now you have a life story everything is yours within neighborhood you were born the family the sibling order the all the stuff that happen you or didn't happen you that you wish to happen you I'll you know it do it is anyone in here right now have a life story no the answer is nobody does nobody does right now you don't have that I mean I'm sure you could recall it if we were you know gonna sit down for an hour and probably take you more than an hour but you know but I'm sure you could recall it and if we had the time we could hear it and but you don't have it you don't have it you'd have to recall it and so unfortunately the life story of a prison oh by the way I apologize I'm coming from mountain biking right now it's I've been in the forest and I've had like branches and brush and trees like doing my pace a service today so if I look I don't even I don't even look at myself I don't do I look the same as usual and like it's a little fuzzy though at the top little fuzzy that's from the helmet anyway I just came straight from the mountains here and so I've been coming from the will and we've been waiting for some dry weather just to get mountain biking I told one of the riders that if there was one more day of rain I would have killed somebody because I needed to get on that bike and hit those trails every muscle in my body has fired about a thousand times from you know when you're doing technical writing like your whole body's muscles you didn't think you had are being used just to get down these technical you know faces of these mountains I mean some of these things were insane but I thought I don't know in a minute how come neighbor go so I I sometimes speak about a guy man who has a disease that he can't remember even a minute ago so you got to keep an eye on him because you know you can't retrace steps he doesn't know where he is he doesn't even know you're related to him obviously it's his family who's keeping an eye on him the most but he doesn't know who they are I mean he knows totally or they are cuz he's the most present guy you've ever met so he actually knows who they are better than anybody but he doesn't know exactly who they are in that he has no recollection of who they are so he'd be just as happy to have you with him as his brother any be age perfect they haven't have no one with him to because he would have no recollection of what it is to have someone with him but why I like to bring this guy up as he was the happiest person ever met I wouldn't want to be him but he was certainly a / - me and I'm pretty darn happy and he was happier because he carries no story with him there's no narrative that has anything to do with and there's nothing in his past that sheds light on the present and therefore what does he have total access to if nothing in his life sheds light on the present what does he have total access to to the 12 to the present he has total access to the present the difference seen him in you is you have a whole story and so you can't help but filter out now through the story in fact everyone who is listening to this class totally differently than the other and if we asked you which we do ask for evaluations by the way so please eventually fill out an evaluation after this class but there's there's this moment is being filtered out and each one of you differently so if you wrote on the back of the paper what this class was about everyone who would have another thing to say hopefully there would be something in common obviously the job of an educator is you want as many people to say the same thing as possible unless you're doing something truly artistic which I'm not so then you'd want more or less agreement on what you said how much of the pass do you think you need to get through this hour together in this class how much of the pass you need how much shape how much of your life story is necessary for right now what well for me to speak maybe for you to know English but I think that comes unconsciously it's true it does it comes and you need that but it comes unconsciously you don't I don't think you need much of a storyline to have your English working for you right now it's just that you've had so much English in the past that you're doing fine without that so much and it's pretty unconscious here yeah you don't really need anything do you don't need much for that how about meeting a stranger you need some of that what do you say ladies meeting a stranger a male stranger would some past help the answer is yes a past would help past stories horror stories newspaper stories just being wary you know noticing maybe he's starting to team up with you a bit you know stranger and he's saying oh I'm also going there or that's called teaming you notice he's teaming teaming is a red flag man who's a stranger starts teaming with you it's a red flag maybe fine and maybe he's just the friendliest guy all friendly people team but he's a stranger why is he teaming he hasn't known me long enough to be teaming several you should know by the way there are several red flags to know about but would past help if you're meeting a stranger yes or no for sure past helps and in this scenario I spoke of of being a woman who's got a guy now who's strange and in kind of you know joining you on some journey to your shoe store you know I also need shoes you're like I need women's shoes he's like yeah well I'm buying shoes for my daughter I see a picture of her so there's nothing wrong with a little past here and there but how often are we with our whole story right in front of us for example embarrassing moments following us into public places meaning uh everyone take a moment like think of an embarrassing moment when you were a kid I wouldn't think of that that's one embarrassing can you think of a moment okay you got a moment how are you it's ten years old yeah you willing to share you don't have to you should know if you share it it's gonna lose about half its power over your present it was embarrassing for you oh it's like a salad wall for a ten-year-old boy that'd be embarrassing yeah whoa what a crushing story that's a crushing story and it meant a lot to you the ball mm-hmm tell me are you good at lending things are you good at lending your stuff to people yeah you do you're a good lender you lynnster are you at long-term relationships because you learned that your survival strategies just let go of things your strategy was it's too painful to get attached so you just unconsciously will release things see how his life story is not gonna be very helpful for relationships do you get what I'm saying here so so now having that life story might be important for certain things like like let's say the person you're interested in dating is not to be trusted so there your story's helpful but if they are to be trusted then that's a very unhelpful story for relate for long-term relationships so what you what you realize is you're you have your past filtering in now is it filtering in consciously or unconsciously what's your name using for Joseph it's filtering incomes they are unconsciously in his relationships unconsciously for sure your filt it filters and unconsciously and now do you think that Joseph or any of you have more than one story or just one lots of stories lots of stories and each one meant something else and each one had us make certain moves like his move was let go quick each one of our stories had us make a move you know we learn to make certain moves in life and and the crazy thing is we start to know ourselves that way like that becomes our personality so everyone kind of knows the moves we make and who are the people we like the most people who who stamp approval on the moves we make and that's who we'll call friends our friends are people who accept our the moves we make even though those moves might be really bad for us which means you're not gonna have that many friends but there are certain people who are will who you call friends are the people who accept your moves and so what would naturally happen is you'd attract people into your life who have a similar type of thing so no one gets too tight but no one's know it's too loose either they're just kind of you know it's live-and-let-live type relationships and all those people will find each other and then the people were close to your the people who get your moves because they have those moves or or they're stuck with the other that your sibling or your parents are you know there's no choice because your family I mind taking whatever that book is off the Holness there yeah wow what a deep insight that is is that let's say you've actually true let's say for example you also have transformed that so suddenly you've just having a whole new world of people getting coming towards you in the people that normally would be around you who were the you know the people who accept your moves you don't make those same moves anymore so you're gonna have like kind of a new group of friends all of a sudden it'll happen naturally it'll be fine I'll just you'll just you'll just kind of get a new crew that's really cool yeah that's pretty neat it's pretty neat yeah I'm sure uh-huh and it shifted as you made your moves mm-hmm okay to my shirt untucked how are we supposed to have time to eat anyway seriously any of you guys have time to eat people people ask me sometimes so when you become observant used to watch movies and I'm like show me two free hours and I'll let you know if I watch movies how am I supposed to know like and we have two hours to burn hour and a half to burn thank you I can't even eat and it's not because I'm like overly busy like you know like a harried person who's overly busy with things I'm I'm perfectly schedule didn't love every minute of my day every day and it's it's great but I just don't have I just the only thing I don't schedules food cuz food think how long's it really take the truth is I I ate a bowl of rice and lentils before I came here an entire bowl of rice and lentils it was a little too hot so I hadn't cold water because the entire intake of the rice and lentils was I think a total 35 seconds cuz my wife's like you didn't eat and she handed me a bowl of rice and lentils and what oh thank god I made a broth huh and I'm like burn my mouth went into the cold sink Shh on to rice and lentils this so became rice and lentil soup just to cool if the story it's an excellent question I could give you a couple answers why you have the story at all one is to help people cuz now you get that more than anyone else so when you see someone someone might come to you one day and just say you know I just can't hold on relationships and you'll be like you came to the right place let's talk oh you're going to by the end of this week things are always gonna get already gonna shift for you there's one of those things where once you get the insight you know what I mean there's like it's one of those aha moments like there's a mountain bike company that makes three different bikes one's called a one's called a a moment that's their that's their long travel downhill bike and then they have another bike that's called the truth and that's their short travel cross-country bike but the bike I had was an amazing bike it was right in the middle like it had the same long travel but super light like the cross-country bike that you climb with and cuz long travel bikes are heavier they're not easy to climb with but this had the lightness of the truth but it had the the suppleness the plushness of the moment guess what it was called it was called an epiphany I wrote the opinion was about double the price cuz the only way you can make a long travel bike that light is you got to start getting into carbon and titanium and and other high-end parts to get the lightness of the truth but the the aggressiveness of the moment and you know what they're advertising whether it was amazing they said when you have truth in a moment it's an epiphany and you get truth in the moment it's an epiphany most growth we have it takes time to get to the truth you know you gotta like the life happens and you gotta get to it and you know by the third marriage you got it yeah I was wondering if you guys were awake meaning truth comes slow for a lot of people truth comes real slow not in a moment but once while you get truth in a moment and that's called an epiphany Tiffany is when there's this aha moment where it's just like everything shifts for you and we only focused on one story because he have no I called on him but we actually want each one of us has Story upon story of on story and you want to hear the crazy thing every one of your stories you made moves and those moves to you seem like the most functional moves you could have ever made they're so not functional it's a joke you understand your moves are crazy all your moves are crazy which is the funniest thing cuz to you those moves made all the sense in the world like this seem like well that'll be a good way to navigate through life and so you just navigate based on those moves you made and therefore now listen carefully we're moving on now and therefore you're projecting thankfully have eyes and ears and stuff you're projecting into the future you're projecting into the future on everything meaning you're filtering everything out based on the story of your past to never ever wind up in that situation again I mean you're you're you you're ready to make your move but you got to decipher the terrain you know it's like you're back to mountain biking like I'm ready for all my moves man I'm when I'm riding even when I'm on the flats about to hit the next pocket of obstacles and stuff all generally like kind of bounce into my suspension a bit just to like keep my muscles ready but I'm about to hit some gnarly stuff and so I all these kind of bounce into my suspension of bed I'm cranking you know serious rock and roll so so I like bounce too whenever I'm listening to no vocals cuz I can't be distracted with content you know it gets like you know it's just heavy heavy hitting music and then and no no content all and just bounce it into my suspension getting ready for the next I got my moves ready but then I hit the terrain and and there you got to work with what you see you got to work with what you see and and so what you're doing is you're working with what you see with the moves that you created when you're a little kid in an adult body but I'll ask all of you when yosef cuts when yosef cuts clean of relationships or only relates to people who are willing to have that kind of clean relationship because there's no religions are very clean you'll see when you're married no such thing as clean relationships like the real relationships you get into are unbelievably mucky there's a lot of murk and mire in relationships and that's burning clean fuel like I burn pretty clean fuel and so does my wife man we're both like personal growth gurus and it is full of murk and mire and I can't imagine what all the people we help her deal with well I can't imagine cuz they come to us to deal with it but but like word hill with murk admire like they for sure but when he has his loosely tied relationships yosef over here guy come hang out with you so it's more interesting because you're just a total stranger to the Facebook live people do care here you know my when you're having your so when you're having your loose leave loose relationships with people carrying I'm sure you're totally carrying and like giving it like mazing but but specifically attracting in your life people don't like to anchor in too deep yeah and and you of course if they do you're gonna move the other way you're gonna you're not gonna hang around that person too much and you're gonna keep it loose but while he's making those moves everybody how old is yourself he says 22 but how old is he really he said already remembers no he's pin yeah things like oh that he's 10 and it's not just Joseph it's all of us I mean Mike Mike me he's cutting conversations short with my father which I did for 20 years I mean that man could not call it the right time I mean I've never met anyone with worst timing my mom and he just can't call the right time and every single time he called it was like mind if I use your pen it was like yeah it is really bad I just can't speak right now that I'll call you later but you see with my father and maybe you guys know what I'm talking about he would offer a lot of unsolicited advice when I'd speak to him a lot often on subjects I knew nothing about just didn't really understand what he was saying because it was generally the monetary advice and I don't get the money that's why I'm a rabbi you know like I just don't understand the stuff so much so but he had like a million things to say every time I spoke to him about money and and most of them often about my irresponsibility with the subject which made me feel like I was 32 or 9 which one how long you spend on the phone with somebody makes you feel like you're nine can they ever call the right time ever no they can never call the right time I would say to him yeah I'm going to mimic our Father be like isn't it the morning and I'm like yeah the minions really far away he's like well that's perfect we could talk and I'm like we can't why not I've got a meeting what kind of meeting you got walking a minute oh it's a phone meeting what do you have your phone meeting with me with someone else try to talk later click you know what I call that by the way just on that subject is I call that or fitting or fittings when you kill someone way before they die and and you should know that when people work with me when I do you know work with groups and stuff in my seminar work the I've gotten phone calls I get them about once a year where you know there's a couple hundred people you're coming through the remson yeah I'll get a phone about once a year saying thank you so the guy says thank you so much because he had just mourned his father and he said he sat with all his siblings he says he was the only one who mourned his father because everyone else more than the fact that they killed him years ago because there's something about dead people that they suddenly get harmless you notice that like people will say the nicest things about dead people but when they were alive no one could say nice thing about them there's something about being Six Feet Under that people lose their things in pointed ears when they're dead and so and so what happens to the mortars is they're like they get riddled with guilt that they knocked him off when they were teenagers and usually the same teenagers will knock off the same father because that father and was the type a father who's gonna be offering all kinds of advice that makes you feel like a little kid and then so they orphan themselves but this guy uh Norfolk himself because when I hang up with my father my 33 or 909 and so where you begin to realize is that we're all just little kids making moves as adults we're kids were playing kid games as adults and when you start to take responsibility as an adult for the way you're perceiving the world and it's important to know the story you've been using help you have to know your moves too but when you proceed your story and you know your moves you can take responsibility for those moves and once you take responsibility for those moves you're now officially good Lynne you're officially an adult that's what an adult is cuz you know how you know how like adulthood and responsibility to kind of go together you know maybe you don't hand a five-year-old kid you know a thousand bucks to deposit in a bank they're not responsible enough think you deal with that they might try but they just don't they can't handle that level of responsibility as they grow you have more responsive more responsive more responsible so part of becoming an adult is becoming responsible right well oh maybe maybe but I see there's areas of responsibility as the monetary responsibility there's take responsibility I love it when my kids start taking responsibility for their teeth because how many more tightening when you have a big family I mean you get tired of saying brush your teeth you know you got a lot of kids it's like thank God I'm down to one last kid who's got to be told to brush his teeth and so but I'm excited for the day where he takes responsibility for the teeth and then eventually you know when my kids are married then they start taking real responsibility for themselves but how about what we're talking about tonight today is taking responsibility for your story taking responsibility for your narrative that has literally been mopping the floor with your adult life taking responsibility for a childish childhood narrative that has mop been mopping the floor with your adult that's called a dopant adulthood is when you recognize you recognize your stories quickly you catch it quick in fact too quickly a catch at the Marvin it don't you are and it's okay if you've fallen to your moves not a big deal and you think you know obviously explain to the person like I'm so sorry I kissed you that was an old move when I used to be in relationships with people that didn't care like that I see I've hurt you and that was an old move of mine and I want to take total responsibility for doing that move cuz that's not me anymore but I fell into an old move and that's called fall you can fall into your story and you will fall in your story nice follow my stories I can be hurt easily and fall into some story and start moving start going into moves and but I catch my moose got no limits you have no your moves we know your moves y'all that y'all identified them quickly and then say like okay there's me encoded my moves and I'm quickly apologizing to somebody who you know that I was about to make a move on you know which might have been getting aggressive maybe a little angry or or maybe looking for their compassion and their sympathy here some stupid move because I was feeling hurt beside me my little kid was getting stepped on it's pretty embarrassing it's pretty embarrassing to be an adult kid you know I feel so embarrassed sometimes when my kid takes over I'll tell you though I feel much better than when I take responsibility for it meeting out I'll call the person seem like I'm so sorry that that was like totally dumb stuff from nice pass then I feel pretty good but if I looks at can't even call the room that I knew even know them it was just my kid acting out in some situation then it's really embarrassing it's funny you think it'd be less embarrassing to own your story but it's actually more embarrassing to not be able to you know because whatever the circumstance were such that you weren't you never you didn't catch it in time and you don't even know where that person is to call them response and then every time you think of it it's like a very unresolved situation what do you mean with my kids I don't have that happen very much of this point but let me think back a little wouldn't like when my kid moves would come out with my children I'll tell you my oldest kids got hurt pretty bad by some of my moves mmm one of my moves is one of my moves is is to be an attention vampire and my first kids were now you know I've got grandkids for the you know Artie from my first you know daughter my older sons 21 no but when I was an attention vampire the moves I made we're kind of like well those kids already love me and give me all the attention I would I don't even need attention for my kids really so attention is gonna be out there so I actually like I dissed my family first seven years I missed them in other word dist I just this distance because I was too busy like trying to put my face on the globe rabbi Glazer the guitar the surfing and the cool you know seven years yes but I caught it and when I caught it I held each of those kids and as carefully as possible explained to them there's only two kids at that point the other ones were little and I explained to them that Tottie's have taught these daddy and Eunice I said taught the puppy you know was embarrassed when he was a kid and humiliated it because there was a story where I got humiliated and I'm just trying to feel okay and I've been maybe I put myself into a position where I'm too busy because if enough people like me or like my classes or my concerts then maybe I'm okay after all but but in the end it's hurt you because I haven't been around enough I'm gonna change up my schedule from now on and the way I do things so that I could be a father but I'll never forget that night I woke them up to tell them that and I spent the rest of the night awake with my wife and we were just talking we were just talking the rest of the night and the next morning which we saw the Sun Rise because it was just one of those epiphanies evenings and the next morning my wife said something amazing she said she felt like she was married for the first time yeah amazing him we'd never had a fight I mean we were like couples counselors we were like hey shoot or like you know cover a story a couple you know like we would get invited everywhere to be the couple you know and here we were like bluffing along like she's pretending everything's great and she's got this fantastic charismatic rabbi husband and she didn't know what was going on that I didn't either I was just making moves it unconsciously moving and and then took that responsibility for that and I became more of an adult at that point I was making other proofs too cuz we all make lots of moves now I bet all of you forgot my opening line of today's class my opening line of today's class is that your story is in the way of what I say your stories in the way I myself don't remember what I said but if I were starting the class again I would say you ready for this your story is in the way of your connection you connect to a lot of things you connect yourself you connect to music you connect to an Apple you connect to God you connect your parents you connect to your siblings to connect your spouse or children the opening line of the class I don't know if I got interrupted or if I said or did and I could rewind it later but that your stories in the way of your connections I don't think anyone would understand that at the beginning of this class but you understand that now that your USB I mean USB cables can get gunk all over them and don't work so well until they get cleaned out so it's like the USB cable got dipped in tar or something and so you know it's getting some power but it's not like getting what it's supposed to and wildly you would never thought cuz you know what most people think especially today's day and age you're the observant Jewish community is like everyone thinks they need to pray harder seriously people think like if they pray harder they'll connect better and other people think if they learn more Torah that might help with connection other people think if they start keeping kosher meaning if they were not either keeping it or they weren't careful with it that maybe if they start keeping kosher and you get unlimited amounts of things that cuz in Judaism there's not a little bit about it the things you could take on so you get people just taking on stuff all the time right we were taking on stuff all the time to get more connected we're connecting themselves to the soul to God - Tara - you hear what's going on here and and then winding up disappointed and angry in you know we live in a generation now and the observant community where where Tara is like paramount I mean it's really just the importance that's placed on Torah study is like beyond and you want to hear something crazy you want to hear weird statistic so I've been running my seminars now for the Torah community for years now but I just this year and just finished a year where I switched it to Hebrew so now I'm getting like real terrorist scholars like serious Torah scholars in there all marrieds heavy-duty Torah scholars that's who I'm getting and so now I've had a year of them so I'm to close to 200 of them because I travel a lot for seminars outside of Israel but in Israel itself I'm somewhere around 180 years gave me close to 200 participants maybe for the strangest thing and this is the strangest thing but their number of so far the number one theme that causes the most suffering is Torah it's the weirdest thing number the thing and finally last night I decided to tell him running a seminar this week so I decided to tell them like I'm just spellbound I'm I'm astounded that though number one issue in this group for sure with the exception of like two of the participants is Torah tour is ruining their lives because the importance they've placed on it and some kind of some kind of expectations on themselves I don't know exactly what they're expecting from themselves because there's not one person except for maybe I would say there are five people of the 180 that 200 years ago would have been put with the rabbi of the community to study me you you have 200 years we had to be the genius of the entire community to not already be a cobbler making shoes by the time you're 12 you understand that nobody's studied Torah full-time until they created yeshiva so she was there 200 years old now so if you were born 300 years ago you were done you know with your Torah career at about 1213 for sure you were either making window panes or glass Glaser's lasers make glass the you were making shoes whatever you're doing but you were certainly doing it by thirteen twelve you would train 13 you're already making a living and you were married by 14 15 16 something like that men men were married between fourteen sixteen girls were made between twelve to fourteen and not just Jews everybody and everybody worked from twelve thirteen can't just be dead weight you know it wasn't like wasn't like there were government programs there were no government programs you know to help the lower echelon that did not exist and the and so everyone everyone work anyway but I told this group last night because there wasn't one of them who's that level of scholar and I said there's not a single person in here had you been born for the first three thousand and seventy years right now we're at three three three zero three thousand three hundred thirty years since I know and this all started two hundred years ago so there's not one of you had you been born for the first three thousand and seventy years who would be in here talking about how broken they are over their Torah study none of you would have been fair that would never have dumped on you you never thought it was such an idea which shows you the amazing success of the Shiva system that they have created an entire generation in several of them extremely depressed people sorry extremely dedicated to Torah people who are in always in one way or another beaten themselves to smithereens I mean this guy even opened the class before we even turned on the camera not Yosef for those watching but this guy before we even open the camera was already saying like get me out of here man like this some tall ones making me crazy but what a gift the Talmud is what a gift what a gift you've got to study this crazy like psychedelic insane menagerie of wisdom that just cleans your brain out of every last cobweb of THC or any other thing you might have had in your or just soft thinking cuz all it takes really to live your life day to day without if you're not into Halawa is soft thinking you don't need to have a sharp brain why do you think all those Jews wind up at the top of every there's reasons why Jews wind up at the top of every industry but one of them is their brains work really well when they're raised in the places like like you know we call Marx was raised where as a kid he was studying Tara you know and as a kid Einstein Einstein didn't get studied or but I don't think ever he although he said he wished he had that opportunity he even said that if he was born again he could have do it all again he would have just studied talked and then there was and then there was what second guys they always mention him with the other two Marx and Freud Freud Freud was raised in a fader he was raised learning too and so you use that kind of brain and you try to just you try to solve modern-day issues with them Tom Munich brain that's gonna work pretty well not to mention Finance Jews have use their brains and Finance to almost bankrupt all of America in 2007 how many people lost their home over the Jewish brain you know leveraging all kinds of crazy things creating financial bubbles that popped all over you know people whose homes were suddenly worthless in the matter of like a month anyway so our stories our stories are our life story is is in Hebrew we have a term for this it's called cuts Itza cuts Itza is when you go to the mikveh you're not supposed to have anything between you and the water so if you're wearing like a tight ring or your watch is on tight or or your hair is knotted or your beard as a knot or you got a bandaid on or something it's not a make foot that's nice you went in the water but it didn't do anything you can't have anything between you and the water for it to purify you so there's a term for that it's a barrier yeah it's a barrier between the water in your body so your life story is a barrier between you and everything you dream of to connect to and so rather than praying harder or studying more Torah or whatever Mitzvah you want to take on I still think you should pray more and study more in and take on more mitzvahs and tighten up your Akash ruse situation and start putting on tefillin on for heaven's sakes in the morning hours not just before sunrise sundown and and like I believe everyone should tighten up their game Jewishly we should all do that but when it comes to feeling connected in our lives the place you want to look is how much have you been filtering out everything out based on some random story stuff that happened to you it was pretty random with the ball and the kids they could have just as easily not done that your life would have turned out totally different you know so it's pretty random story which was perfect for this class and my humiliating thing that you know wound up spilling all over my kids pretty grand and wife was pretty random as well I mean that story that happened to me was like the dumbest story ever you know like it was just the dumbest story and it could have just as easily not happen happened but changed the trajectory of my life at least until I was 33 and and then the the and then the moves we make all those moves we make and then and of course that's all if you're just constantly navigating based on those stories of your past of course you're not gonna connect to anything cuz you're just I'm just like being really vigilant to make sure I don't get hurt with you and so I'm just I'm I'm there's something between us and it's called my story my story is between us and they've already discovered that when someone has a ego dissolution you know that is ego dissolution ego dissolution means that you as something happens to a person where their ego just shuts up for a little while meaning their self-image just disappears I think there are a situation where someone's self-image can actually disappear it works with meditation there can be also circumstances there can be musical events that can make it happen there can be prayer situations you know ecstatic prayer obviously not regular prayer it's not gonna happen but then it could be in an ecstatic prayer situation I don't know Quinn's last time anyone here did any ecstatic fare but I'm part of an ecstatic community if any wants to try it this week's gonna be especially good because it's gonna be rushed kodesh so we'll have already done in it about two hours of ecstatic prayer and then we're gonna start hollow which is like then it really goes through the roof so so the anyway that can cause ego dissolution obviously there's there's there's different compounds in the world in the natural world and even in the laboratory synthetic world which cause the ego dissolution you can just see the 1960s hippie movement for those compounds anyway but whenever you get to ego dissolution you get to love you always get to love and very interestingly that that whole movement the hippie movement like in the end what why it's called the hippie moon what is their number one theme what's the number one thing love peace and love stop fight and put down the guns it's just everybody love each other did you know that the US government actually air-dropped LSD onto British troops and then film them they were thinking of using it as a weapon now then we didn't have a problem with the Brits or maybe the Brits did I don't know you can watch it on YouTube it's amazing the what it's quite interesting it's on YouTube black and white - you know this way back it wasn't the 60s already but they understood the Kant understood what's going on with you go dissolution but you you just can't party what's part of a person's narrative that they're an American or that they're a British soldier part of their they're an Iraqi soldier in a war with a Ronnie soldiers you know like that's part of the story and what they discovered when they put this chemical compound on the that was used in rock concerts at Woodstock in New York you know I wasn't born for these things but but the but when they put it on the soldier you can watch the video yourself they they get rid of their guns they're taking off their uniforms they're all in their underwear and then there's start climbing trees and stuff and they're all just hugging the trees and they're like and there they were trying to see well what if we just put this stuff all over our enemies and then we can just capture their land and enslave them you know but they were actually thinking of Indian can check that out google that as well the US government testing LSD for for warfare and that was what it was all about is to create ego dissolution for the enemy okay everyone may all be blessed may we all be blessed to live clean clear connected and as adults I mean and please everyone watches my videos every day we just optimize the website because people are complaining that it had a question here I kind of wanted to know something about people but you got rid of the question here you can just literally go online and choose some amount and I really don't care if it's a little amount but if you're watching my videos every day please join the club and give other people that opportunity by us expanding things thank you