How To Do TeShuva? - MUSSAR Iggeret HaRAMBAN (32)

[Music] very good uh to see our old friends come and visit us we'll see you guys on a regular basis again uh today's sh will be for a special for our dear student B she's delivering a baby as we speak will deliver the baby in a healthy happy way beautiful baby another holy uh soul in the world and also give the the goof also a for David benor Le um Mercedes uh and all of also um um Stefan benina also and for all of those confused Souls that uh really um have not had the opportunity to see the truth yet and they will see it very soon as is rebuking the world as we speak with a lot of scary things that are happening that we've discussed in the past that are getting scarier by the day not that I watch the news Shalom but I just see how people are you know what they send me you know usually people send me their problems and their worries and uh when you get three or four uh messages uh every few hours about the same thing whether it's the Corona virus or it's uh uh different issues with government and so on you see that this is what's on people's minds so um um the uh what was it a week or two weeks ago we were asked um if uh what we think of this Corona virus if we think it's uh because of uh the Chinese people eating uh bats and cats and dogs and all types of foods like this and uh I told you that no I don't think that's the reason uh and the reason why is because they've always ate bats and cats and and dogs and things of that nature and that's also why we know why was not Chinese you know it says in the Torah that the descendant of of uh Noah was the CI you know his grandson was the CI was a Chinese which means that uh you know he is one generation after shim Shem is where am comes from and thei the is the Chinese he's the grandson of Noah so we know that adamar wasn't AI but there's another proof that we know that adamar wasn't AI he wasn't a Chinese because if he was Chinese he would have eaten the snake and the whole story is ruined so uh we said some time ago that uh it's not from them eating all of those uh disgusting Foods uh but more likely because of uh them uh uh eating um uh animals while they're alive that's more likely but potentially some other things like uh in my opinion I've had this opinion since day one I just don't have necessarily enough evidence to prove it uh it's potentially a lot more than eating animals uh when when you make your the animal your husband or your wife um that's a uh that seems more in line but really more than anything else as we learned from the when uh one of the ranim that went to Africa came to him and told him listen ra I just came back from Africa raising some money for the I want to tell you about the K over there and says before you tell me about the can you tell me a little bit about the go over there the black people over there the white people over there are is there still a lot of hatred between the two and the rabbi didn't understand the's question why do you care about the go so the says what do you mean why do I care of course I care if there are problems that are happening to the go that's a rebuke for is that's a warning is that if you don't do this is going to happen to you shom so if you hear that he says says if you hear that there's an earthquake or a tsunami in some country in Asia in you know different places you should know this is a warning even if there's no Jews there and even if the deserve it it doesn't it's still a rebuke for is it's always connected to is always so the reality is that you see uh very interesting that this Corona virus is uh becoming uh scary for very for many people because uh the um information The Cure is obviously non-existent at this stage uh at least man-made cure um and the uh numbers and reports on it are constantly misleading on one end they tell you that you know only a uh 800 people died from it but on the other hand you have one of the billionaires of China came out and told everybody that the Chinese government is lying there's at least 1.5 million confirmed cases the difference between a few hundred or even a few thousand and 1.5 million is sh uh meaning this is this is something that could become a global epidemic in ours if decides so now someone asked me yesterday are you wored worried about Corona and I said no not because I'm a superhero not because I'm some anything but I'm not worried about Corona why am I not worried about Corona if I was worried about Corona I'd give you a speech with a mask on maybe it's a good look for me I don't know but why am I not worried about Corona because I have much bigger worries the bigger worry is I'm worried about AEM and I'm worried about whether hasem is going to decide to use Corona or something much worse to rebuke us if we do not do chuva because chuva is the only cure it's the only cure for every problem whether it's a global epidemic uh whether it's a financial crisis whether it's a marriage crisis uh difficulties with children whatever it is chuva is the only answer and if people simply understood and applied what I just said in just the beginning first few minutes of this Shi you would see that many many miracles happen just like they've happened in the past but if people continue thinking that that everything is in their hand and their power and they want to call it you know they want to call it effort as if it's a mitvah to do all types of things uh while ignoring what we're really supposed to do things are not going to get better you know it's a uh it's a sad it's a sad movie that repeats itself over and over and over again but has unlim mited Mercy uh and uh if he wants somebody to live that person will live if he wants somebody to die that person will die of course a person should not put themselves In Harm's Way don't go and give a big hug to somebody that has an infection but at the same token uh should you worry about it if you want to worry about it because you're bored go ahead worry about it I personally think you should worry about what hasem says you should worry about which is you should worry about doing chuva uh because uh Hashem did not say in the Torah if you don't find the Cure I'm going to kill you he didn't say that there's not a PUK in he says if you don't find a cure for any virus if you don't make a certain amount of money if you don't uh you know become really popular if you never said that I'm going to kill you never said that but he said he did say if you're intimate with a woman and she's I'm going to kill you if you weigh seed I'm going to kill you if you violate Shabbat on purpose I'm going to kill you that he said if you curse AEM I'm going to kill you you worship an idol I'm going to kill you that he said that he said that's what I'm worried about you don't do cha I'm going to kill you that's what he said so that I'm worried about what hasem says that's what every person needs to get themselves to we talked about the news and how much of a waste of time it is but at the same token there's more important news and every week we have news it's called par CH in this week's par we have something very peculiar we have the if you could call a certain spot in the Torah as the most exciting event the climax if you will of the entire Torah if you can call one because in reality every part of the Torah is equal there's no such thing as this one's more important that one's more important that's why the said that any K that has a horrible custom where when they hear the Ten Commandments read they stand up you should stop them from doing it they're not allowed why because they're treating The Ten Commandments as if it's more important than any other p in the and I literally mean any other P even the P that says that as gave birth to such and such kids that uh that uh that yov uh came down to Egypt 70 or that created in the beginning the Heaven and the Earth any other PUK is no different than any other PUK in the so when you stand and give more honor to one PUK over another you're mistaken you're mistaken the ram writes very very critically about it and many others but nonetheless if you can call let's say in the story aspect of the Tor because the Tora is not a story it's a book book of laws that has stories in it and the story part if you can call something the most exciting this week would be it why the purpose of the world is being achieved we are receiving the Torah right now 3,330 years ago we were at Mount sa listening and seeing God's voice all of us we were Mount saai we you don't remember you have bad memories you guys I know we'll work on it 3,330 years ago like this week now are you sitting here 3,300 years ago you weren't sitting you were standing at Mount saai you are hearing and seeing God's voice tell telling you I am the god that took you out of Egypt don't worship any other God don't worship idols and so on and so forth we heard the first two Commandments then we told mosu stop it tell him to stop you go talk to him we'll do whatever he says we'll do whatever he says is we'll do it and then we'll hear it by default we agree why because every time they heard a commandment they all died from the K of hm's voice their couldn't handle it all of their left their bodies they all died after the first commandment Hashem performed the resurrection of the Dead millions of people died millions of people lived but they felt the pain of death it's not fun to die I promise you now they heard the second commandment after the shock they see God's voice what does it mean see God's voice every time hasem spoke there were letters in the heavens people saw the words for the first and last time a group of people heard God never in history has that ever happened not before not after any other time that God spoke to someone it was only with individuals never with a group of people this is the first and last time it happened and millions of people were there which means that if one of those millions of people didn't hear it you would have somebody say in the T hey by the way Moshe you're saying that we heard God's voice I didn't hear God's voice you're saying that we saw God's voice I didn't see anything I mean I was on my phone so I wasn't really paying attention but you know but I didn't see anything somebody you would have to have a p in theora say that if somebody didn't see the voice if somebody didn't hear the voice you would have to have a verse in the say that which means that everyone that was there heard and saw the voice but but after the second commandment since we couldn't handle dying a third time we told mosenu please do us a favor you go talk to him you just just get us the news we we'll do whatever he wants we can't handle it anymore we died we woke up we died again W up we can't do it m says no no don't be afraid he's just scaring you so you don't sin meaning he's not playing games that's what Tas that's what he's trying to tell you he's telling you these Commandments this is is it this Torah this is it I mean it you may think I'm not serious but I'm showing you I'm serious now if you don't remember if you don't have such a good memory you forgot what happened 3,000 years ago this week's is here to remind you now the peculiar part is that in this amazing event of Matan where we got the book The love letter from a from the King of Kings from our father in Heaven G us a love letter an instruction set of how to live a successful life and how to fail also by disregarding it he gave us a letter called the Torah and now he gave us the Ten Commandments he gave us a part of the written Tora that was written up to this week's par he didn't give us the entire Five Books of Moses because they haven't been written yet can't tell people the future and he gave us the majority of the oral Tora why do I say majority because the and a few other places mentions that AEM wanted is the sages of Isel everybody in is to be partners in the Torah so he left certain things for us to find them out by toiling over the Torah and this is the explanation for a big question that some from Australia asked us recently and it's a very good question he says wait a minute if mosu received the entire Torah the r Tor the oral Tor how come he had to go back to hasem on four cases because you didn't know what to do if you got the entire Torah how come you didn't know you didn't know what to do when they caught said to said to what do I do when they uh the blasphemer cursed Hashem hasem you know they asked hem also what to do how come the answer is because hasem wanted am is to be partners in the Torah by toiling over the foundation that he gave them and discovering the truth within it through toil and the reason why is because when you are a partner in something automatically you care more if you are my employee if you are my employee getting $1,000 a month or $1,000 a day it doesn't really make a difference you're going to treat the job as a job no matter what your salary is I had guys that were making A50 $100,000 a month and I had guys that were making $100,000 a year all types of employees regardless they treated it as a job why it was a salary it was a commission to job which means that I'm going to work the hours I need to work and my life is really begins after work I work so I could go on vacation I work so I could buy stuff and and so on because it's a job after all but what they do at certain companies law firms and investment houses and other types of companies is that when someone is a stellar performer and someone becomes a very valuable part of the company they turn that person into a partner now even if that guy just became a partner of only 1% of the company he's not a partner of the whole thing you can't just become a partner of the whole thing just because you're a good salesman we're going to say listen you've worked for us for 5 10 15 years you did good you made the company a lot of money now we want to make you partner so from now on you're going to get 1% of the profits of the company at the end of the year we calculate what kind of profits the company has you're going to get 1% of the profits now even though in reality it may not even change his salary that much it may not change his bottom line that much but automatically that person when you ask him what do you do he doesn't say I work at such and such he says I'm a partner at such and such the job now becomes his life why it's my company what your company you own 1% no no it's my company he treats it as it his it's my company this is the reason why companies do it to this day which key people you're a partner in a company how could you leave us no no I'm never leaving no I'm never leaving we're family family I hate each other but family why 1% I own 1% of the company I own 2% of the company it's a marriage that simply cannot break why cuz you're a partner and no one else is going to give you partner right away wanted us to become Partners In theah by allowing certain aspects of the oral Torah to be gotten by us toiling over it by us working and discovering the truth by looking reviewing over and over the foundation that he gave us and arriving at the law through that toil this was not the first time Hashem made us a partner he also made us a partner in creation itself when he created us with a men generally are born with a on their male member and we have a mitvah that on the eighth day after you're born you have to have a b so the Heretics ask wait a minute if if if God wanted you to have a b and to not have a this forkin why did he create you with a foreskin then ah see there's no God ah no no fool no you idiot no God did it on purpose God did it on purpose God says that if you want to convert as a male you have to have a circumcision if you want to be a kosher Jew you have to have a kosher circumcision not the circumcisions they have at hospitals that only cut part not the circumcisions that the Arabs have that only cut part a full Jewish circumcision that requires an expert why because a wanted you to become a partner in Creation in protecting the foundation of your n which is protecting your breit if you now are a partner in making this breit because it wasn't created perfect it was created in essence imperfect you made it perfect by in essence taking somebody taking allowing someone to take a knife a really really sharp one and taking a piece of the body of your little babies off I mean you have to be crazy or religious you have to be crazy or religious if you're crazy they're going to put you in a Cell put some nice jacket on you all white nice and clean tie your arms up put you in a Cell don't talk to nobody but if you're religious they're going to tell you what Rabbi ma why you just I just cut the kid what that's yes you just became a partner with a because now that you know that you've invested your own flesh and blood in this breit if you understand what it means you now are going to look at it in a way wait wait a minute if created the whole world perfect the heaven the Earth the moon the sky the the the Stars the the ecosystem the flowers the bugs the the animals everything is perfect truly perfect and but this one thing imperfect obviously he's asking for my attention if you look at the cabala drawings of the N you see that the part of the bit is called yes yesod means Foundation the other parts are called different names but the part of the B is theod why the isod it looks like a uh what is it uh Circle a pentagram pentagram thank you it looks like a pentagram like a upside down house why because even if you're really good at protecting and developing the other parts of your Nish in this part in that part in this part that part it's not enough why if you don't protect your breed everything else fails it's theod it's the foundation this is why when demolition men people that destroy buildings for a living in order to rebuild stuff they don't bother spending too much time putting TNT and other explosives on the 100th Floor on the top floor where do they put the most explosive stuff in the foundation of the building in the foundation of the building why the foundation once you blow up the foundation the rest will follow as a side note that's also connected to September 11th but that's for a different shield but now you have a situation where says to you you have to protect the foundation if you do not protect the foundation everything else fails everything else is no good your connection to will be incomplete your Shabbat will be incomplete your Kut will be incomplete your learning Torah incomplete you won't understand what you're reading you won't really want to do it it'll be like almost like you're carrying the mitv like it's a sack of potatoes again again we have to go to again we have to go to Yesa again we have to pray didn't we already pray already whyem needs our we prayed hem enough Kal no give me a break for a day or two no what H why is a person have such such thoughts because he's not protecting his bre the theod is damaged I see this probably more than others because I deal with this issue with a lot of people we help many many young boys Young young men old men recover and fix their breit to our and guidance and you see this as clear as day I mean you're talking about new people every single day reach out to me more than any other issue about how do I fix my bit I've been destroying it for 20 30 40 years what do I do now and it's the same exact advice you give someone that just uh did P bleach for the first time in their life same advice first and foremost stop it second of all put a fence meaning you have to learn about the topic understand the damage we have nearly 70 shim about the topic watch all of them on a regular basis not just one time on a regular basis have him on a rotation on a regular basis then after that make sure that you say I'm sorry to a then you make sure that you share the information can help other people you don't have to ask him are you a no you don't have to ask nobody assume everyone is because that's almost the truth share the shim everywhere take the CDs give them to people and last but not least you have to do if you have money you have to go you donate specifically for this cause we have a campaign that we've been doing for the last couple of months to raise more and more money to print more and more CDs and USBS specifically about this topic in English you donate to that campaign you're going to help fix your own n not only because you're Now using the money for takaka that you need to do anyway but on top of it you're actually doing kir with this money because this money is going to be used for CDs but more than anything else a person never never ever allow should trust himself never trust yourself that you're okay that you're good but what if you fail you're going strong 2 3 4 5 6 nine months fail happens happens happens to the best of them what you think you become you just because of once you happens you fail you saw something you got something fail then what get up start again don't get depressed don't start crying fix stop again learn again do the whole thing all over again and the reason why is because if you don't you're going to end up making matters much worse you're going to end up making matters much worse because now you're going to get sad you're going to get depressed you're going to say ah you been keeping it for three four five n months and I messed up 3 years and I messed up that's what the Satan wants you to do want you to get depressed so now you're like ah since I messed up once might as well do twice next thing you know you're addicted again becomes much harder to stop but how do I know if one of the people that listens to me calls them themselves a student perhaps or a friend or whatever you want to call people that listen how do I know if they P or not very easy it's based on their behavior based on their questions how do you know if your bre you yourself know whether the bre affected you the thoughts in your head why once you start doing chuva you stop damaging your bre little by little the Torah becomes clearer to you little by little you like it little by little you fall in love with it little by little you want to learn more of it little by little you start enjoying the mitv little by little you become addicted to it it's amazing you don't want to leave it everything is clear it's like a blueprint to the world is in your mind you have answers to everything the second you are P AB the second you do it the second that Zer that seed Le leaves your body and does not enter your wife goes somewhere else the second you now took that spiritual cord that connects you to and you chopped it to nothing so now that second all of a sudden all the doubts that you never had before appear in your mind all of a sudden you ask Rabbi how do I know there's a God what you're a what do you mean how do you know there's a god what have you been doing that for 15 20 years Rabbi why do I have to keep two yum if I live in America what do you mean you lived in America your whole life now you have this question if you asked me when you 10 years old I give you an answer five years old I give you an answer but you've been going to to to uh to Yesa for 20 years why do you have this question Rabbi um is it really AA is it really AA to uh you know not play with your phone on Shabbat is it really like Al like like is it really Al to like watch your eyes and not touch your bre like is it like can you give me a source is there like a maybe somebody has a different opinion maybe you're stringent maybe the what where are these questions comes from Mr heretic what happened to you yesterday you were telling me that you're you're writing a song about a you were the little David of 2020 now all of a sudden you're asking if David ever existed maybe it's Giles of the no where do these questions come from Rabbi maybe it's possible that Jesus didn't mean it what where where did you hear this from I don't know I just decided on Sunday to watch a sermon by Pastor Jones why are you Mr Jewish boy listening to Pastor Jones I don't know I was bored ah your P that's what you are and your just got hurt what do you do stop it stop it and you'll start seeing those thoughts disappear stop it and you'll see those thoughts disappear everything I just told you are real questions I got from people times that by a thousand thousand and there's even more countless young men countless old men even rabbis even people that have been learning to their whole life have this issue says there's no one that's above the yet of immorality sex crimes everyone can fall even the biggest Rabbi in the world can fall Shalom and we have several proofs in the Torah where R AKA and Rab in two different occasions almost fell almost fell you never see the sages show any pride in the never except one thing not a single sage ever says I'm the biggest sadik in the world never not a not a single sage ever says I know more Tora than everyone never but you will see countless times the sages in thear these holy people that were able to revive the dead show Pride only on one thing I protect my bit why because they know that no matter how much Torah you know or you don't know you are still vulnerable to the sin and unless you pay careful attention to it you'll fall now unfortunately today there are many people that do not teach the subject because they think it's taboo but let's see what theim say of recent Generations in the count takote in page 31 and 32 it gives the of is from the recent generation M Feinstein yob kamki and AD Mulan and they say when do you teach about breit between the ages and four four and five years old you teach your child and warn him not to touch or even look at his breit because this is a huge sin that's horrible and horrifying and this is an obligation on the teacher at his school as long as it's a male teacher it's an obligation on his father and it's an obligation on his older brothers do you have to tell a kid that's four or five years old don't look don't touch bre KES like my son says bash bre KES don't touch two at age eight you start teaching him the of modest y 8 years old a boy needs to know what modesty is not at 18 and not at 80 It's Too Late by then you have to teach him the the laws of modesty and how to be modest inside the bathroom when he's relieving himself and you have to speak with the boy and answer his questions about all of his doubts and all of the issues thaten to do with this topic and everything that's related to the bit meaning if you yourself as a parent do not know this it's better you don't have any kids or learn whichever one's easier for you either learn what it says about the breit or don't have kids why because your your kid's going to ruin his life because of you and don't say no the rabbi's going to teach him the rabbi's not going to teach him I promise you why to hav him teaching it in Generations you have an entire generations of English-speaking people that have never even heard what G is until they watch the sh by me five years ago at age 12 MOS Feinstein and kamki again says at age 12 you have to teach him about how to protect his eyes and his thoughts and to explain to him the details of all of the things that have to do with it and how it relates to protecting the breit this is Al by the biggest sages we've had in the last 100 years so if your local Rabbi says no no we don't teach this here there's something wrong there's something something wrong now in this week's par we see something extraordinary we see that the Paras the climatic point of the entire Tor like we said mat T the Holiness of Tor that discusses the issue of bre from the beginning till the end is not called parat T it's not called the par where we receive the Torah but rather it's called it's called after a person a person that wasn't even born Jewish a person that was actually an idol worshipper of so many different Idols you couldn't even count them every week he would look for a different Idol why would you call the the the climatic point of the anything other than or at the very least you want to call it after a person called why are you calling it tell us it's because of the first few words of this par that tells you what kind of person was and what kind of person hasem wants us to be El the minister of midan was a very powerful important person he wasn't some homeless guy he wasn't down and out he wasn't depressed he wasn't on uh you know all types of drugs he didn't have ADHD nothing was wrong with his life he decides to leave his City give give up all of his money give up all of his cavod and his position that he has quit his job as the pope put his life on the line his life is in danger go to mount saai the minister of midan the father-in-law of Moshe heard everything that God did to Moses and Israel his people that has had taken isra out of Egypt the father-in-law of Moshe took Tora the wife of Moshe after she had been sent away and her two sons to whom the name of one was gon for he had said I was a serer in a state a Strange Land and the name of the other was elel for the god of my father came to my Aid and he saved me from The Sword of par he left everything took his daughter his grandkids and came to mount saai why it says because he heard everything what do you mean he heard everything he didn't see he didn't see the ocean split into 12 he didn't see the the the the the water turned into blood he didn't see frogs he didn't see hail he didn't see darkness no he didn't see anything he did not see a single miracle in Egypt he he heard about it and that was enough he the pope of his day heard what the god of Israel did he says I'm leaving everything I'm doing he comes on all fours to MOS please I'm your father-in-law please let me in he's not coming Hey listen I'm your father no no no please Moshe let me in I'm your father-in-law is theid at least take the kids you know it's your kids begging him please accept me why I heard I heard about the God of Israel that's enough that's what wants from us you hear the truth do it that's Chua how often do you need to hear the truth every day every day you hear the truth you do it and that is what merited to do and therefore merited to have a par named after him but not just any but because when you receive the Torah if you want to be considered somebody special in the eyes of a you can't just kiss the Tor and say I love you and then go drive on Shabbat and then go watch basketball games and then go waste your life doing everything but learning tah if you are going to accept the Torah that means you have to be like you heard it you do it yeah I didn't know till now okay now you know yeah okay so now you do it now you do it yeah but it's hard but it wasn't hard for leaving a billion dollars behind losing everything is life on the line is a bounty with his name on it that wasn't hard definitely you didn't have it as hard as he th definitely I guarantee it why if you had it as hard as he th the will have it after you so now if a person wants to do this then we are on the same page and the reason why is because the ramban over 800 years ago andan after he tells us to overcome our negative traits of Anger of stinginess of arrogance of selfishness all types of negative traits he says you have to learn T every day you learned it in the morning you learn it at night you don't have to learn it 24 hours a day you could still work you can still have a family you can still go to the bom you could still eat you can still function as a human being but the Torah has to be a pillar that's stable as can possibly be a steel pillar that's literally the foundation of your your house where you know that every day you must look at it you must review it you must have it and you must treat it as if it's air if somebody came to you and say can I have the air out of your lungs I'll I give you 10 bucks no 10 bucks not enough why you want to breathe okay I'll give you a 100 a th000 10,000 a million no price why it's the air in my lungs I need I need it I need to live that's how we're supposed to treat the Torah now when a person sees that the say that if you're going to treat the Tora you're going to learn it then the ramban says you have to review it and then compare it to your life see what you have to fix why cuz surely the Torah says one thing and something that you're doing is not exactly matching Torah says this and you're not doing it fix it we talked about last week review his actions but then this week the ran continues and he says and in this way you live all of your days in Repentance what does it mean live all of your days in Repentance all of your days in ch theat page 153a has one of the foundational teachings that the ran based this part of the sentence on ran says you're supposed to do chv every day all the time all your life where did he get it from one of the places was inos the rabbi of RAB AKA says to his students repent one day before you die do chuva a day before you die so students said to him rebi does one actually know when he's going to die who knows when they're going to die so says exactly and that's even more of a reason of why you need to do chuva every day cuz no one guarantees you tomorrow so do chuva today what if I live today okay do CH tomorrow also what about next week every single day your whole life why you never know when you're going to die and if you die without Chua I can't help you can't help you if you die without Chua I'm sorry you die I'm very sorry there's nothing I could do for you you could read kadish from here until next week very difficult so how come people still do it for example when someone die supposed to read kadish for them now if you're going to read kadish you have to be a kosher person you have to keep Shabbat and T you can't read kadish for people if you don't keep Shabbat yourself and the rest of because your kadish is hurting them not helping them but if you're a kosher person you kadish for somebody you love your parents loved one so on but not just the first year even beyond that you read kadish yeah but what if he died you just said it's not going to help there's even P from 900 years ago say you pray for them until you blew in the face it's not going to help them so how come people still do it and I'm not talking about people that are ignorant I'm talking about rabbis rabbis say listen you somebody died in your family if you want I have people that are that are and they'll read kadish for your father they'll read kadish for your mom they'll read kadish for somebody that you love that passed away they'll Reish for them every single day if you want they'll even learn to off for them and you just give them some money every month we have the service that we provide for a few people that want it and why if the guy is why you reading you just said it's not going to help anyway well we're just stealing people's money taking advantage of their emotions Shalom why do you do it just in casee just in case just in case before he died he thought about chba before he died you know the last moment when it's like you have no idea what's going on but you know you're dying just in case those last few days those last few hours those last few weeks where pretty much stuff wasn't working and you thought about your whole life and all of a sudden all the money you made didn't make any any difference to you all of a sudden all the friends you have you don't really care about all of a sudden all the fun you have didn't mean anything you actually have a real account of what life is all about and you like you know what I should have thought about God I should have thought about God why I'm about to meet him I don't know anything about him that little that thought of CH that could help that Soul actually leave G not right away maybe not even ever but nonetheless you have you're savable you're savable that's how his Rabbi one of his rabbis was Elish Elisha Elisha a I've told you about him before he went off the D in the worst horrible way made every crime in the Torah after he died they saw that there is sadness why sadness because this person knew an enormous amount of Torah but he died and he died he died someone that's not righteous so says I know right now he's in last chapter talks about anyone that does certain crimes goes to a place that's not even gay go to Ka it's a place where there's certain angels that simply torture the soul and sling it from one end of the galaxy to the other not a fun place people that cause the public to sin by Mis uh Mist teing them telling them that there's no G telling them that Jesus is the right thing telling them all types of stuff like this to against T already has a place for them waiting and those angels can't wait to meet you unless the person do so now was there knew he was there he says when I get when I die I'm going to take him out of kafak when I go out to the bed of sh I'm going to have certain merits I'm going to argue for him in sh I'm going take him out of kafak and that's happened how do we know it happened because after died people went and saw the grave of Elisha Aya Elisha Elish and they saw there was smoke coming out of the Grave smoke coming out of the Grave years passed Generations passed the says and one day ranan passes by the grave and he sees smoke and he ask the people why is this smoke coming out of this grave years passed years Generations why is this smoke coming out of this grave oh Reby you don't know what that's the uh that's the grave of Alish he says what Alish Elish was a big big Rabbi at one point yeah he went off the de yeah but he he's so Rabbi do you know why this smoke why this oh he's in gay that's why they smoke but because he knew a lot of Tor said I'm going to take him out of Gom after he died the smoke stopped how come all of this was possible if he violated Shabbat committed murder and all types of other crimes the sages said that he had at the end convinced to do CH he CH thoughts of CH I made a mistake that could save a person that's the reason why you read kadish even if the person didn't keep Shabbat but the point is every single person needs to know that this is almost too late almost why why why play with that fire it's not even fire it's lava so says you have to do chuva every single day ran says your whole life should be Chua your whole life should be about chuva where did they both get it from another source is in the prophets the prophet HOSA Prophet OA talks about many interesting things but in the last chapter where he talks and gives Prophecy of the end of days of mhia in chapter 14 the last paragraph is in essence a paragraph that discusses chuva with a famous verse in chapter 14: 2 that we hear in prayer and songs is return o Israel unto hasem your God for you have stumbled in your sin in your iniquity shua means return return to Hashem return to Hashem why return to Hashem why he say to return to Hashem he says return to Hashem you see that all the sins you make being with a woman that's not your wife being with your wife when you're not supposed to eating something that's not Kosher being a disgusting person cheating lying killing violating shabat all those things all those sins they didn't help you they've stumbled you they've ruined your life you thought you're going to have a good time just this one time next thing you know you have nstd that one good time ruins your life no there one time just one party you go to a party you drink a little too much you get into a car accident you can't walk just one time Raba just one time hanging out with the guys one time hanging out with the girl she's pregnant but she's only 16 one time that's all it takes one time it doesn't take a whole life of sins to ruin your life let's not misunderstand this all it takes is one time one time over those die you could take drugs for 50 years and live or you could take drugs one time and die same exact drug how do you know which one you're going to have you don't know therefore you don't do either CU it's going to ruin your life drugs are like candy in comparison to sins because a drug may or may not ruin your life right away may or may not ruin your life today or tomorrow or next week may or may not but for sure is going to ruin your life for sure guaranteed one time you need to do it on purpose not accident why the second you make such a sin you are now in a book the book has an i you what's an IOU I owe you a punishment Hashem says what kind of punishment death bad stuff he doesn't want to kill you that's why he doesn't do it right away but you're in that book why would you want to be in that book you want to be in the other one the I ow you I owe you rewards I owe you shef good things that's what you want to be you want to be in that book not a death book that's why you got to stay away from sins how do you stay away from sins you have to learn tah yeah but what about I still learn to and I still sin ah hasm knows that hem knows that you learn T you do you do this and you're still going to sin sometimes therefore he created chuva you sinned you failed say I'm sorry cut it out stop it don't repeat it do something to protect yourself so it doesn't happen again do some good things start all over yeah what about the sin that I made if your Chua is real you're going to be okay your Chua is not real you're going to repeat the same a week later a month later a day later 5 minutes later so now says to is return to God return to God because your sins are not working out Rabbi I like my life look at my house look at my uh wife look at my kids I got money I got this I got that I got everything so I'm okay Rabbi I don't need to do chuva you don't need to do chva okay so you have stuff but let's look under a microscope at your real life how's your relationship with your wife oh yeah she just filed divorce how's your relationship with your kids oh one of them just overdose the other one's in the hospital the other one is married to a dog the other one's married to a cat or maybe a person we're not really sure because they look like both how's your business ah the IRS has showed up on my business the FBI is considering it meaning yeah you may have the image you have the stuff but in reality your life is terrible how do we know your life is terrible you don't have AEM in your life if you do not have AEM in your life it is impossible to be happy successful or anything of any value impossible why you have no connection to the purpose of creation so says to us says to is return return unto hasem SH now the question is ask how come it says return unto hem meaning go all the way to hasem why doesn't say is to hasem return to hem like I've said it so far but in reality it's not WR return to hm it says return unto hm meaning all the way to hem why all the way to hasem how come to Hashem that's it so the sages explain if you really want to do chuva it must be every day it must be every day you have to work on yourself to perfect your character to Perfect all of the flaws every single day until you get all the way to AEM where is when do that eventually happen o oh you have a long way to go yeah but how long a year two years 5 years 10 years oh you have a long way to go how many 50 60 7 oh you have a long way to go how long until the end of your life yeah but I've been doing it for 50 years Rabbi okay so you're halfway there I don't bite there's three chairs right there it's fine the spit doesn't reach that farem return adem all the way all the way to Hashem all the way to Hashem every day now you're going to say wait a minute but Rabbi know Prophet lived at a different time maybe it was easy for him to do chuva the ramban was a holy person maybe it was easy for him to do chuva mhu you know he he was a he heard God's voice he spoke to him maybe it was easy for him for me it's not easy I live in 2020 according to the Christians I got iPads iPhones I this I that no wonder why they say don't that don't follow your heart and don't follow your eyes eyes like the dot eye ey phone iPod iPhone I I I I I didn't make this up I actually saw it on the website but it's pretty good pretend like it's mine I don't remember the name of the website but it's not if I do I'll tell you not that I'm not trying to steal ideas you have to I I I I got all this stuff M didn't have I in a desert what anyone's walking around mini skirt in desert kill him on the spot it's hard for me rabbi liar you're a liar you know how I know to says Tora says you're a liar now I know Tora says you're a liar says says it's in your mouth it's in your heart to do it meaning you were created to learn and fulfill the Torah that's it that's what you were created for if you buy a phone and the phone doesn't act as a phone it doesn't dial it doesn't text it doesn't go on the internet it doesn't do anything it's no longer a phone it might as be well be a door stopper it might as well be something you throw like a weapon maybe you could send it to the Palestinians maybe they'll give you some money for it they got a lot from Obama you know you could do something else with but it's no longer classified as a phone why CU it doesn't function as a phone the whole purpose of the phone is to make calls that's the purpose of the phone if you have a car but the car doesn't drive it's not a car it's a piece of metal you could live in it maybe you could sit inside have a conversation have your lunch but it's not a car anymore why it doesn't drive because the purpose of the car is to drive if you have a Jewish n if you have a human being and that human being does not serve AEM it is no longer classified as a human being it's now an animal mosenu says you were created with a main functionality which is to learn and fulfill the tah that's your functionality that is your purpose now when you take a car out of a factory is it hard for the car to drive no why it's a car that's it's supposed to do when you take the phone out of the factory is it hard for the phone to dial no it's a phone it's it's it was made to do that when you take a car a cow out of the farm is it hard for the cow to give milk absolutely not it actually has a good time when you do it why that's the purpose of the cow do you ever see a bird say wow I'm so tired of flying I need a vacation no why that's the purpose of the of the bird it flies so how come you see a bunch of people say ah you know what learning to it's hard for me I can't do it I can't do it it's too hard it's it's too hard M says you're a liar it's not hard you don't want to do it it's not hard it's not hard at all you don't want to do it and when you don't want to do something you make it hard for yourself it's only hard to keep shabat when you don't want to keep Shabbat it's only hard to keep Kash when you don't want to keep K cuz you want to go to McDonald's and eat bacon it's only hard to watch your eyes when you don't feel like you want to watch your eyes you want to look at anything and everything it's only hard to follow the entire Torah when inside you you don't feel like doing it you want to be an animal why because you were created to follow the Torah that's your functionality to say it's hard is a lie it's like you press your phone okay I want to call Ima and you press the number it probably don't even know the number by heart because it's all stored on the phone you press the uh but the little green button and the phone gives you a message now I'm tired today call back later I don't feel like doing it I'm on vacation what do you it's Labor Day Labor Day for phones you go turn on your car little uh navigating system says no no buddy get out it get out get out get out I don't feel like I I don't want to look at your face get out of the car you overworked me you drove me 50 miles yesterday what do you think I'm a a car no get out never going to see that but yet the most brilliant people that live on the face of the Earth say to Hashem every day it's too hard me to do what you created me to do why we fell we fell into a prison we made for ourselves and we are now tying ourselves in Chains and saying we're prisoners we're prisoners of our own and that yet is that we don't want to do it we want to do other stuff we want to go play basketball want to play video games want to go out with a bunch of girls we want to eat tar want to look at magazines newspapers watch the news maybe I'll learn about more people that died in China so if anybody doesn't know they'll ask me how many people die in China oh 1.5 million okay thank God you're the in Chinese death we have to stop lying to us myself and the ran says to us you have to stop lying to yourself you have to start doing Chua every single day and that's why HOSA HOSA was not politically correct hos was not politically correct he was not even trying to convince anyone to do Chua because the last verse of the book of O as he says m he says who is wise and will understand these things meaning this message of doing chuva whoever is smart it's going to get the point doing sins going against the is not going to work out so good for you don't say oh no ever since I became religious my life became tough you're a liar your life was tough and anyway and your life would be tough anyway in fact it would be tougher if you didn't do chuba much much tougher why CU you'd still be on a death list I owe you death list it's not a good list to be on so says whoever's smart gets the point that the sins don't work out the secular life doesn't really work out for anyone you're never going to see a single secular person happy with their life never they'll have moments of excitement but never happiness never it is impossible to be happy without a in your life impossible the stuff you see on TV exact is on TV fake news it's like Facebook you see the good pictures family everybody's wearing a suit everybody's happy the husband and the wife are hugging each other oh oh looks like I so happy so happy you don't know that 5 minutes before that picture they had a fight and the wife told them I wanted divorce you don't know that 5 minutes after the picture one of the kids takes the camera and smash it against the wall and the father hit him until he lost one of his eyes you don't know that one of those kids is is cracked out you don't know the other kid is going out with a non-jew you don't know all that stuff you see a picture you see a moment that's the secular life a moment moments of excitement moments of you know an illusion of Happiness real happiness doesn't go away like a headache real happiness is something you wake up with real happiness is something you simply have you don't have to try oh why' you try to be happy what do you mean try to be happy it's like saying try to breathe no if I have to try to breathe that means I'm dying if you need to assist me to breathe that means I'm dying don't go away I need you if I need to try to be happy that's a very serious problem happiness is supposed to be a status that you're in at all times you wake up happy you are happy despite the problems that you may have it doesn't change or distort your happiness you may be aggravated you may even be angry but you're still happy you go to sleep happy you live happy you are happy no one has to tell you how come you're never happy why cuz they know you're happy but if you have a tough time being happy that's a problem sexual life impossible to be happy I tried it for over 30 years doesn't work with money without money all types of stuff doesn't work I promise you but you don't have to take my word says otherwise if you're smart enough to get the point by now and you understand these things whoever is understanding and will know them will understand that the ways of Hashem are straight if he promised you a reward he will pay you Hashem is straight Hashem is not a sweet talker hasem doesn't talk from both sides of his mouth he says something it's emit so sh says for hashem's ways are straight and therefore the righteous will walk in them the righteous people that are wise will do what he says but the Sinners will stumble over them says but you don't want to listen you don't want to listen to t you don't want to follow what T says then all of those sins will be the reason why you fall your addiction to money will be the reason why you collapse your addiction to promiscuity will be the reason why you collapse your addiction to food will be the reason why you collapse you like eating stuff that's not Kosher kosher May kosher one day is going to give you a nice gifts called diabetes enjoy that next meal that's what happens you're addicted to immorality you want a new girlfriend every other day okay so you wake up one day with a disease no one knows a cure for it's called AIDS and plenty of other sexually transmitted diseases how many how many times you have to be promiscuous in order to get it one time one time with the person that's the right but the wrong person meaning a person has to understand AEM is not your friend and the prophet says it listen you see that your sins are not getting you anywhere this secular life you pretend that's bringing you happiness is not getting you anywhere good therefore be smart be a wise person and become righteous but if you don't want to no problem you'll see AEM punishing you with your own poison and that's why the ramban says that a person must live a life of chuva a life of chuva is every single day it's something that I have to try try every day why because when you do chuva you are simply where's my phone you are simply looking at life in a different way you're looking at life as one big Marathon you're looking at life as something that you're constantly going to try to improve there is no stop sign and there is no destination point you never go on vacation there is no vacation from Chua now R isant says that some people think that there's an auspicious time to do chuva and there's the 10 days of Chua between R and Yip special days to do Chua between Judgment Day to the appeal day he says but the righteous people people that are more righteous really they already started to do chuva ones 40 days before this they already started doing chva why if you're smart you're not going to arrive at judgment day without chuva you're not going to arrive at the trial without being prepared for the trial it's not going to work out so good and then hope that okay I'm going to fail the trial but I'll work it out on the appeal if you're a smart person you're already going to start before but says but I advise to start chuva the moment after na the moment yum Kip is over already start doing Chua what do you mean but it's over already goes exactly it's over start all over again with chuva the whole year until next year every day chuva Sal was a master of chuva and if you look at there's a book small book called in size small but not in wisdom called once he read this book he says this is a book that needs to be in every home in every pocket in every desk and everything you have to this is a book you have to have why you follow the strategies of doing like it says in that book you're going to become a sadik you're going to become a it's not easy at all though but means self- accounting and he himself did self accounting on a daily basis analyzing every single time that he would pray and he would make different strategies for himself of how to make his prayer better and any time that he found himself weak during his he would write it down in a book on this day at that time on this prayer at that moment during prayer it wasn't it wasn't so good and he would start doing chuva for that moment of weakness which for us is probably strength saw him do chuva and cry for 15 years over a what we wouldn't even consider anything at all we wouldn't consider it anything at all on P you're not allowed to haveit so you have to make sure there's no before P now generally speaking you look at all the obvious places where do you look for you look if you have a place where you put your bread where you put your cookies put all that food would you look you see there's no there sometimes if you have kids especially you look during the rooms and so on but generally speaking it's pretty obvious where the is going to be one year he forgot to check for not in the whole house Shalom he's not here no no he checked all over the house the whole place everything crystal clear everything is good but then he realized that he forgot to check inside the salt inside the salt he had a little compartment where had salt in it just salt no cookies just maybe in case maybe there could be some crumb he didn't check not that there was something in there but he forgot to check inside the salt and he did Chua for this for 15 years for something that for the rest of us I don't even think they would even look at this as a list of anything not sin not was so careful to take care of his own they says it's all based on your level the more you know the more you is expected from you now when a person lives a life of chuva this type of behavior does not seem weird at all it's only weird to somebody that doesn't do Chua but someone that does chuva this seems like okay maybe I'm not going to necessarily cry for 15 years over anything but I understand why he did I understand why cuz it's so hard to elevate your n and feel a Joy a joy When you pray a joy when you do a Mitzvah a joy when you keep Shabbat a joy when the holidays are coming a joy when the holidays are here a joy just to do a you feel a joy a physical Joy I'm not talking about a mental Joy oh yeah I'm aad no no I mean a physical Joy like you get a physical pleasure not from drinking the water not from drinking the coffee the phys phical pleasure comes from the to get to that point is a lot of work once you get there you're going to do everything possible not to lose it because losing it will feel worse than death once you've achieved a certain level of spirituality in connection to a you get a certain pleasure from certain things that you do whether it's Shabbat or or or learning or whatever it is that pleasure is like nothing else all you care about is when can I get it again when can I get this feeling again and every time you do that and you don't get it you feel bad about yourself wow I wish I got it again I wish I did it again how come it didn't happen all right I'll try harder next time and you judge yourself not 3 hours guys just get the the chips and sit down it's not a it's not a buffet now a person needs to evaluate himself and see where do I get my joy where do I get my joy and once he gets it he doesn't want to lose it understood this clearly and therefore he did everything in his power to protect his n about 250 years ago there was a serious R named R of chovi he wrote several one of them is called and another one is shabat he would delve into the details of Shabbat the Holiness of Shabbat and he would talk about it constantly his Focus was constantly how do you enjoy the Shabbat all the beauties of Shabbat the kadus of shabat The Amazing Power of Shabbat he was a talmid of the mag which was the of the B an enormous an enormous sadik but in addition to all of his learning Ing and fulfilling the toah he was very very focused on helping others so he would go to a um a a a Marketplace that was there for about a month a year where these businessmen would be at a certain place for a month during the year and that's pretty much where they made most of their money for the whole year and he would go there to collect zaka why cuz all these people made a lot of money they worked the whole month they made a bunch of money give M and he would collect this sta to help poor people to help free people from jail to help orphans all types of people that were suffering for the and so on now there was one group that he would avoid and it was a group of rich people that all day aside from after they finish their work all day they would just laugh and make fun and focus on potato chips and Bazooka gum and forget the whole purpose of life all they they playing cards and poker and smoker and all types of things and laugh at everything they're just jokesters anytime somebody came there tell about a mitvah anything else they'd make fun of him they'd have a good time on his expense now the worst of them was a guy named hsh and this hirsh this was the class clown this was the guy that everybody waited everybody waited to see what he was going to say so avoided this group anytime he would go to the marketplace he' go everywhere else except these people but then one year there was a very difficult case this powerful decided that to increase taxes in the city and this Jewish family did not have the taxes so he put them all in jail and he gave them a timeline if you don't get the money to me within this specific date I'm simply going to kill every single member of the family one after the other when a go tells you he's going to kill you you take it seriously why most likely he means it so says this whole family wife husband little kids everybody's in a cell and the clock is ticking on their life you have to get this money this there's no there's no nothing else you can do you have to get the money you got to give the money free the Jews and that's it finished that's it there's not there's nothing else you can do about this don't try to negotiate don't try to sweet talk nothing get the money right there's lives on the line so comes to the market and this year he says I got to go to everybody why I got to get 150,000 gold coins a fortun as you would have it that year people all of a sudden were having a hard time giving he says what could I do he goes to the place he's never been before where the jokesters he goes to the jokesters over there they're having a good time laughing playing cards all types of things and he walks in and he sees immediately the first thing he sees hsh he says if hsh wasn't there in his mind if hsh wasn't there at least maybe I would have a chance with the rest of these people but this guy is here what a this is like a p this guy this guy is like a tun this guy's a problem walking but what can he do he says okay one way or the other it's going to be okay either something good is going to happen out of it or I'll get a tun and I'll raise some of my sins either way he goes in there and HS was in the middle of telling a joke but he sees the rebi and he stops now everyone is excited we're going to have a good time entertainment showed up entertainment showed up and H even stopped the joke he must have a better one H says to sayell rebi how can I help the re a Kad so sees himself in a predicament he didn't want to be in but what can you do ra says I'm here to collect Daka to free a family from a prison because if we don't get it they're going to get killed the husband the wife and the kids so her says to them how much are you looking for he says I'm looking for 150,000 gold coins H looks at and says you got it wait here for one second second now everybody's waiting to see oh he's probably got a present for this Rabbi you probably going to bring a cat or a scorpion or a snake something's going to bring him it's oh he's probably prepared this joke so they can't wait they're all quiet you know they're they're like you guys right now quiet just to see what's going to happen so shortly later HS comes back with a box goes rebi here you go this is all the prophet that I made this season it's 150,000 gold coins here you go rabie now wasn't a fool and everybody else is waiting he's going to open the box and there's going to be some I don't know scorpion come out of it or something some an aanda who knows something's going to come out of it bomb so also didn't trust he goes H listen if you're going to mock me you're going to make fun of everything you could just do it you don't have to give me this you don't have to make fun of me you could just take the box fine okay you made fun I'll leave why have to hold this whole show and torture me make it seem as if you're going to help me for what he says no Reby I'm serious you can take it there's 150,000 gold coins in there Mr Reby says okay he opens the Box everybody's waiting for the box to explode he opens the box and he sees it's full of gold 150,000 gold coins but he can't trust this guy this guy's a known rash this guy's a criminal with a certificate rabbis avoid him people avoid him because of how much he tortures people all of a sudden became a tadik not only donate the whole amount so he says H are you serious he goes yeah rby this is all yours just give it Go free the family he said you sure he goes I'm 100% sure it's all your was so impressed by this man's moment of chuva this moment of him doing a self accounting and realizing you know what maybe it is worth to do something good he blessed them and he says may be his will that you will enjoy the feeling of Shabbat like I do and this H guy never kept shab doesn't even know nothing like yeah I'm in I'm in ra amen this was Sunday ra lives leaves got all the money AR goes back to his games but shortly later they finish he goes to sleep and he wakes up the next morning with a feeling of K he doesn't know what to do with all he could think about is Shabbat but it's Monday what am I going to do oh we got to get prepared for Shabbat he starts thinking I got to start go buying stuff he goes to the butcher he start okay this meat that meat this this everybody what what's wrong with this guy why he a party today not chabbat chabbat her Shabbat you even know how do you know how to spell Shabbat no everybody surprised he's buying bread this that all types of things the whole week and every day as a gets closer and closer to shabbat he's having these uncontrollable feelings all he thinks about a Shabbat all week he doesn't care about money about business about nothing all he thinks about is Shabbat Shabbat Shabbat Shabbat Shabbat arrives and he gets this feeling like he's literally becomes a he feels like he's floating you know they feel Shabbat regular people we try to keep it they feel Shabbat they feel that extra n enter their body H felt the N enter his body and he literally felt like he's flying on cloud nine now everyone thought they see this guy celebrating start singing all types of songs they never heard him sing about Shabbat all of a sudden he's giving them Kim about Shabbat it's like this guy's trying to I don't know go to Hollywood or something he's trying to win some type of prize where did this come from on Shabbat it's like the balloon popped for him he feels terrible he feels Shabbat just left him he doesn't know what do I do without Shabbat oh Shabbat is going to be next week also and he starts M he's already starts preparing for next Shabbat and the whole week is the same thing three weeks straight H does not think about anything other than Shabbat but after 3 weeks everybody starts thinking he's going crazy including himself he finds he says rebi you have to help me you got to take this blessing back I can't think about anything else other than Shabbat all day Shabbat Shabbat whether it's Monday Tuesday Wednesday night day doesn't all day Shabbat re you got to take this back says to him it's a blessing I can't take it back but I can teach you how to use it I can teach you how to to enjoy it and H became hisid the complete Chua became sadik why the moment hasem gave him an opening despite what you've done your whole life and all the jokes you've made and all the horrible things you made okay what do you care about so much money okay let's see I'm going to give you an opportunity to do chuva with money cuz that's all you cared about your whole life life so let's see you give me the money you care so much about I'll give you the world this is why it's very difficult for rich people to do chuva because the chuva that they need to do most has to do with something they're addicted to when you tell a rich person listen keep Shabbat if it's convenient him he'll keep Shabbat if it's not convenient he won't if he's got business half a Shabbat after the meeting Shabbat if you tell a person listen we're trying to open Yeshiva here in South Florida you happen to have a bunch of money we need Hashem gave you $100 million give us 10 and we'll fix the Next Generation they'll look at you like you have 16 heads like you're an anaconda with three heads what you want me to give you $10 million why why because you have it that's the only reason if you didn't have it I wouldn't ask you not going to ask you for something you don't have you have 100 10 that's it you keep 90 enjoy the 90 he doesn't know what to do with you why why should I give you 10 million that's something you crazy I don't even know you you don't need to know me there's a no Yeshiva that is Fit For What the Next Generation needs we are volunteering to build it you happen to have the money it's in your pocket just give it to us so we can do it that's it I'm not going to whine and dine you take you to a special dinner uh sing some Opera for you put your name on the building nothing just need the money that's it this is the whole relationship no chance never going to happen minimum I need my name on the building why let me tell people I know own this building it's my Yesa it's my Yesa I I open this Yesa and the reality is that Yesa becomes just another investment he'll buy the building until he wants to sell it hey Rabbi listen uh you're doing good over therea good good good how long you've been there five five six years listen I appreciate everything you've been doing for the community with the Yesa but um remember I gave you the money to buy the building and everything yeah yeah uh yeah the market went up and I can't afford not to sell it so you guys are going to have to find a new uh new location Rabbi donations like that are not donations they're loans and a person that thinks that him giving that kind of a loan for the sake of a Mitzvah is just chuva it's the opposite it's not a chuva it's good it's not it's better than nothing but when aosh wants you to do chuva he wants you to sacrifice what you find most dear it's part of the sacrifice it's part of the of doing chuva every day when H did it Hashem accepted it if he didn't do it most likely all of his Gates of chuva would have been closed and would have Shalom lost a share of the world to come permanently nowu in in his he starts off the book with a interesting midash in coh Raba 7:1 15 and he says what is Chua really what is chuva and he gives a story that the sages tell about chuva what is an analogy to explain what chuva is because in reality chuva doesn't actually make rational sense if you think about it why think about this the the the the law in the country you live in let's say you stole $100 million okay and you got caught got caught you're in front of the judge the judge is going to tell you that you steal $100 million yes this video I stole $100 million okay give it back give it back okay judge I'll give it back judge says to you okay now that you give it back I'm going to give you 20 years in jail what kind of present is this that's the law the law is you steal money whether you give it back or not is irrelevant you go to jail that's the law and the civil law chuva on the other hand is different says to you you stole $100 million okay how about this you're going to stop it you're not going to do it again I promise I'll never do it again you promise never do it again okay how about this we'll make this deal you stop it you say I'm sorry I'm sorry okay you say I'm sorry good all right you g to watch the sh watch this you I'm sorry and I'm gonna watch this you okay how about this from now on this what we're going to do you keep that $100 million and I'm going to give you another $100 million because you said I'm sorry you're going to watch a SHO that's chuba not only does hem allow you to whatever you did you can't take back not only does hasem accept that but he gives you a reward for doing chuva so the sages say that what is chuva in reality Hashem says you got caught there's a bunch of criminals that got caught people that go against hasem get caught they were all put in a jail they were all gonna get a death penalty they're all waiting for that death penalty to happen everybody's pretty much counting the minutes suddenly somebody breaks the wall everybody follows everybody breaks out in the morning the guard comes to bring everybody to their death penalty but he sees there's a hole in the wall and nine out of the 10 people are gone there's one guy left and the one guy says Ah see I'm an honest guy I didn't break out the guard takes his Bat and starts hitting him harder and harder and harder breaking every bone in his body and the guy says I don't understand why are you hitting me shouldn't I get rewarded for not leaving the guard says you fool you had a chance to save your life and break out of this why did you stay why didn't you get out you had an opportunity for your stupidity you get punished double that's what happens in sh says to us listen you made a bunch of crimes you wasted seed you violated Shabbat you violated n you violated Kos you violated the entire T fine I give you one mitvah to do next chv stop it say I'm sorry fix stuff that's it I gave you an opportunity and you didn't do it you get punished double now rulai Shalom says a very scary thing he says a very scary thing where he says when a person is given opportunities to do chuva he has a rabbi show up in his town that's a good Rabbi and is able to help him he has somebody give him a CD that has information on it that can help him do chuva he has a video recommended to him time and time again on his internet feed he has a friend that did chuva a wife that did chuva a kid that did chuva meaning he knew that chuva was existed he just chose not to do it and he continued violating whatever he wanted to violate says now when he gets to sh how is his punishment going to be he says when the dean is judgment on this person that did not do CH is finalized they give him over to different types of horrific angels that are simply taking control over this n and before they take him to a certain destination they do a special tun on him every sin that he has however many times he did it they kill him that many times he wasted seed a thousand times they kill him and relive him a thousand times oh that was only during his 15th year in life okay 16th year what do he do 900 okay another 9 00 times they kill him and bring him back kill him and bring him back meaning he feels the pain of death as many times as he sinned for each sin and that's before get know why you had an opportunity to break out you had an opportunity to do chuva your wife did chuva the husband did cha the kid did Chua you had a CD you had the rabbi in town Hashem gave you 70 80 90 years in this world 40 years in the world whatever he gave you in the world for sure he gave you opportunities to do chuva no one lives in this world without an opportunity to do Chua it is impossible to even think everyone is given an opportunity to do Chua everyone you cannot use I was born secular as an excuse in sham why you may have been born secular and many people were born secular doesn't mean you have to die secular no I got a bad taste from religious people you may have gotten bad taste from religious people many people have gotten a bad taste from religious people in fact many more got a bad taste from secular people what does that mean does that mean that you just do what they do that's not an excuse oh I I got into a car accident once okay so does that mean you don't drive anymore oh I got food poisoning once so does that mean you don't eat anymore no the reality is these excuses are not going to work don't worry I knew they're going to leave early the reality is that these excuses are not going to work in sh is going to give you a certain amount of time in this world 40 50 70 100 years whatever it is during that time he alloted you he's going to give you a number of opportunities to see the truth and do chuva to see that there's an opening to that jail cell and you can get out even though you're really a criminal that deserves death penalty you don't take advantage of it says you have no idea you have no idea how heavy the judgment is you have no idea how painful the judgment is going to be you have no idea what you're doing to yourself why why would you do that to yourself don't you at least love yourself somewhat you don't even have to like fall in love with yourself just a little bit to do Chua why look at anyone that doesn't they have a miserable life anyway what are you looking up to what is there to look up give me one person that's a happy person without God one person it doesn't exist trust me I was in the business with clients that were billionaires one after another is more miserable than the other without a you simply have a miserable purposeless life and when a person does not understand this he's torturing himself now unfortunately at times a person thinks that he's already done enough he's done enough chuva and he thinks of himself he's like oh listen Rabbi I'm okay now I keep Shabbat I learn a little bit in the morning I uh give staka whenever I get a chance I'm okay Rabbi Chua is not for me I'm done I'm GNA go to higher level when he thinks that there is a higher level than Chua we already have very serious reason of why he needs to do chuva because he's wrong now one such person one such person wrote a letter to the rambam and he says to him I know that the tradition is that on yum Kip we pray and we say I'm sorry to hasem and then we do a special a special V where we admit that we've made all types of crimes we murdered we uh raped we uh stole we this we lied and so on and so forth and it's a very very long confession and Rabbi I'm happy to tell you I no longer have a reason to do this do I didn't make any of these crimes so I want the rabbi to give me a permission to just skip it because I didn't make any one of these crimes this year he says I got to a very high level this year so the in chapter 6 verse 11 or section 11 adds the the rambam's response to this fool who thought he was Pious and he says the following says my dear man your words betray that you simply have little concept of what it means to serve the almighty our duties towards God are unlimited they're complex and no man in the world can finally fulfill them if your self appraisal complimenting of yourself would be objective you would discover that every day of your life you in some way or another violate every sin listed in that VII confession of Yip every day of your life furthermore bear in mind that the greater the man is the more Grievious his minor missteps are as we learned from David a who was involved with Beva which was no longer a married woman since divorced her but nevertheless because DAV was an exceptionally righteous man the indiscretion that he committed which for a lesser person is negligible it's not even a sin for him was considered Tatam Mount to actually committing adultery meaning most likely you're not really that righteous and you're very far away from where you think you are but if even if you are very righteous you're still making a mistake because now your judgment is actually more precise now things that may even be allowed for other people are forbidden to you when a person does a self- accounting on a daily basis he starts seeing that the way to serve hem is not just simply put a keep on put a on put some modest clothes say a a few few blessings pray a little bit read a book and you're finished it's not quite enough serving hasem is 24 hours a day seven days a week with no break no vacation everything a person does has to involve a sheem in you want to go work no problem go work but make sure Hashem is on your mind while you work if you're going to do it transaction with a customer make sure that that transaction is kosher if you don't have AEM in mind while you're working guess what you're not going to make it a g because theat says the first question that they ask a person at the bedine of Heaven did you conduct your business with amuna meaning did you conduct your business with AEM in mind with honesty with Integrity if you lend p uh people money with high interest you've already failed the first question doesn't matter how you answer the rest if you are a liar in your business you stole from the government you stole from customers you did all types of illegal things you're finished question number one meaning if you don't have AEM on your mind while you're working you're not going to make it yeah but he looks really religious looks can be deceiving what could I tell you in in sh they don't care how you look you're a soul they care about what kind of spots that Soul has from sins that's what they care about now if a person lives a life of chuva like the ramban says he'll evaluate his business every day he'll evaluate it so much that he'll evaluate every transaction before he does it he'll evaluate his relationship with his employees he'll evaluate his relationship with his boss he'll evaluate his relationship with his vendors he'll evaluate his relationship with everything everything he does and not just at 8:00 in the morning he just started a day barely even had coffee when he gets home he'll evaluate how he got there did he speed and put other people's life at risk did he drive like a maniac and almost commit murder did he do all types of things that created a desecration of hashem's Name by yelling and screaming at people because they did something that he didn't like once he got home he'll understand what kind of father he is she'll understand what kind of mother she is why how do the kids react when you're home are they excited to see you AB oh like oh hey Dad hey oh you home oh okay when's work again oh it's tomorrow okay so they can't wait for you to leave that means you did something wrong no they're just tough kids yeah they're tough kids cuz you did something wrong you hurt them you did something to them your wife's not happy to see you you did something wrong no she did it okay she did it because you did it no she did it first okay so there you go you admit you did it if your relationship doesn't have AEM involved in it truin mean you have to do CH for that relationship now I heard a story the other day it was literally worth it to come to the world just to hear this story have [Music] Ethiopian love hearing some of his stuff it's really truly uh amazing anyone speaks Hebrew should should hear his stuff and I heard the story from him and he says that there was a certain from that uh at age 52 had his first kid first boy first time in his life 52 years old not that he didn't try trying with his wife for 30 years no kids 52 years old first boy now he said okay give me a kid right he's expecting we have 300 people he sets up the place 1,200 show up to his house TW the whole Community almost shows up at his house because everybody's so excited cuz this story didn't just start at 52 years old everybody shows up the food is finished in two minutes he says listen I'm sorry we're out of food but I have something better for you I'm going to give you personal story that's going to be much more valuable than physical food something that can change your life everyone is excited to be there this little precious boys in the world the the father and the mother are older they I mean something unbelievable some of them have been part of the story the whole way and they don't even know it and he says to them as you all know my wife and I have been married for over years and throughout the last 30 years we've tried everything but Hashem never opened up the gate year after year disappointment after disappointment More Tears more crying more blessings from different rabbis more prayers nothing worked the worst of it all was the most recent treatment we went to America for almost 7 years went to America for almost seven years to get a special treatment from a world renowned doctor horrible treatment pain nightmare this is not like an Advil pill for anyone who doesn't know 7 years after seven years nothing worked all the money spent all the effort everything seven years in in Egypt nothing after seven years of trying the doctor himself world-renowned doctor says to me and my wife I'm sorry Rabbi you just got to give up enough's enough you're not going to have a kid my wife and I got on a plane 12 hours on a plane to is we didn't say a word to each other we get home some of the people in the clean the house expecting us haven't seen us in years which were very grateful to but under the conditions we were in this was not something that was going to make up for the pain we dealt with we entered the house I went to one corner of the house my wife went to the other corner of the house and we both just started crying hysterically she's crying and I hear her crying and I'm crying I'm crying she hears me crying and she's crying and we both just won't stop for hours we're crying hysterical hours and hours of tears I mean hearing anyone cry is never joyful to hear a grown man or a grown woman cry is my must G on this world it's almost 3:00 in the morning I'm asking a please hem what did I do please tell me I've tried everything please hem help me why why just tell me what I can do and at that moment after all of those tears and me crying to asking him to help me do like whatever it is you want me to do I'll do it just tell me what to do at that moment a thought entered my mind and suddenly I remembered my days when I was a young B in Yesa and we used to study seriously and we were really serious Learners and this cleaning lady this new cleaning lady that came to clean the Thea she would bring four of her kids with her and these kids were the most annoying thing in the world they didn't stop messing stuff up and they made a lot of noise it would really bother us and it was it was tough to learn I mean this is a bet mid we're here to learn to we're not here it's not a kindergarten so the guys you know were a little bothered by it so they said to to me he's like listen you're the best talker here why don't you go tell her something you know you know how to talk to people go tell us something that you know maybe it's not exactly the right place to bring our kids they're bothering us we can't learn we're start trying to serve hem we're not playing cards here serving hem so I said okay no problem so I came to her and I said excuse me I'm sorry but maybe it's not such a good idea to bring your kids to the col because we're really trying to study here we're trying to learn t so your kids it's not it's not good for them to be here so the cleaning lady looks at me she says yeah you know I have a very very big difficulty raising my kids may you never have a difficulty raising [Music] kids and I said okay thanks and I I thought she just gave me a blessing well she having a difficulty raising kids she says may be as will that you never have a difficulty raising kids but he says over 30 years later I thought about it and wait a minute her tone didn't sound like a blessing now that I think about it she it didn't really sound like she was blessing me actually now that I think about it I was really focused on going back to learning now that they stopped messing around but now that I think about in her facial expression I don't think she was wait a minute she cursed wait she's upset at 3:00 in the morning he starts calling people to find the rebi the Reb's phone number guess the Reb's phone number the's phone number he hasn't seen him in decades I'm sorry to call you 3 o'clock in the morning please the cleaning lady from 30 years ago where does she live he says listen she's been retired for years but the last time we sent her retirement check like our pension money it was to dis address but I have no idea if she still lives there it's been years he writes down the address at 4:00 in the morning him and his wife honey we're going they go to this poor woman's house they knock on the door at 4:00 in the morning now someone knocks on your door 4:00 in the morning you call the cops usually it could nothing be good but this old woman is opening the door she's scared she think maybe something happened just right away him and his wife I'm sorry I'm sorry to bother you everything's okay but I please please need to talk to you old woman many years have passed she sees it's a you know respectable person with his wife he's not coming by himself it's not a something comes with his wife both religious people she lets them in 4:00 in the morning sit down and he says to her do you know who I am he says no says how is your son Mo oh you know mo how's he doing oh he's good he had his fourth kid how about AB how is AB oh AB he's good he's he's learning he's writing a new sepher oh how's Yan how's Yan oh he goes by yob now and yob he's good he's married kids how do you know all my kids he says you see over 30 years ago I was one of the boys in Yesa learning and I came to you and I told you that the kids are making a lot of noise and I asked you if you could just not bring them anymore and you told me that you're having a difficulty raising kids and you said may you never have difficulty raising kids do you remember that she says yes he says well that's what happened I never had kids she I didn't mean it I didn't want to curse you I just that you know you told me something that hurt me a little bit because my husband at the time was a drunk he left me and took all the money I had no money to feed the kids I had no place to feed the kids and uh my kids were very difficult kids and the only one that would allow me to work was your rebi that will allow me to bring the kids while I worked so it hurt me a little bit cuz you know as difficult but I never meant to curse you I'm sorry goes no no no no no don't say I'm sorry don't say I'm sorry it's not your fault it's not your fault you didn't mean it I want to say I'm sorry I did something wrong I only consider myself I didn't think for a second that there's a reason why you're bringing your kids to work there's a reason that the kids are that way I just thought about my needs and I'm so sorry that what I did to you do you forgive me of course I forgive you no please say my name I forgive you and then say my name I forgive you then say my name I forgive you and then say my name please I beg you you mama she went on the floor crying the old lady at 4:00 in the morning doesn't know what hit her but she said of course I forgive you no problem kids grew up everything's okay and this goes home with his wife and N9 months later on the do they're celebrating the birth of their first boy their first kid now average person would say wait a minute I don't understand what did he do so wrong what did he do so wrong he just told her don't bring it to the Yesa he just told her you're making a mess it's not supposed to be that way that's the problem you still think that way that means Chua hasn't begun yet CH does not only involve how you perceive yourself but rather how you perceive other people how you affect other people you're not the only one in the world when you get up you have to think who am I going to affect by getting up when you sit down you have to think who am I going to affect by sitting down when you give something you have to think who am I going to affect by giving when you take you have to think who am I affecting by taking when you choose a certain way when you eat a certain way when you speak a certain way when you listen to something you're not supposed to or something you're supposed to when you do anything yeah as a Jew you're supposed to think about not just you not just your stomach you have to think about everything and this says listen to me if you don't think about it and you hurt one Jewish unintentionally it's still fire it's still fire you're playing with fire when you hurt people you're playing with fire no matter what you're going to get burned yeah but I didn't mean it that way it's still fire yeah but I didn't want it to be that way it's still fire if we would have done chuva every day and get to a point where we're starting to think how am I going to affect the world by my next click if we don't think that way our chuva hasn't begun yet the key is to understand that when a person is doing chuva is's going to analyze everything and not just the obvious but everything everything he's going to evaluate what clothes he's GNA wear based on other people's perception other people's perception how is it going to affect people she's not going to wear the long dress because she likes the long dress she's going to wear the long dress because she knows that the long dress is more modest and the short dress is less modest and wearing something less modest will affect other people in a negative way a person that does chuva every day has this stuff in his mind all day all day that's what the ran is trying to tell us that's what the prophet is trying to tell us that's what is telling us in if you want to be like you have to do what did yeah he made a lot of mistakes Idol after Idol but the moment he heard the truth and he realized this is it he heard it he filled it that's what chuva is you heard it do it do it right away do it as soon as possible don't let anybody else tell you no no you're being F you're be nothing you know it's right you do it forget about your upbringing your down bringing your is all that stuff is his excuse is not going to work no one is going to fight for you in theed of sh no one only your own actions are going to fight for you a person realizes that he starts fixing his action she starts fixing our actions we all start fixing our actions there's much more to say but we've run out of time but the reality is I think it's more than enough for each one of us to take something out of what we've learned today and at least begin our CH amen amen [Music]