How Can I Ever See My Children—Or Anyone Else—If I Never Saw Myself? Rabbi YY Jacobson - Pekudei

Okay, welcome everybody. Thank you for gracing us. You have one source sheet. They're always posted on the yeshiva.net where the classes are also posted. So you can always retrieve them from there. So you heard the announcement. Next week we make our move to 84 Viola will be a little more uh private and exclusive and thus a little more organized in terms of entrance and exit. If you've never been there before, just drive slowly because you have to see the address and go into a uh long driveway. As you're going down Viola, I think you pass Spook Rock, right? You pass Spookbuck and you go on the second section of Viola and then on the right there'll be a sign 84 and you go in. Okay, we look forward to welcome everybody there and uh with Hashem's grace and I want to thank Mrs. Miriam Klein for initiating and yes and the leadership of the Schul on 84 Viola who have graced us uh with their permission and help and Reblazer and Heather Shiner and uh the entire leadership of this shim for their invaluable assistance as well as Frered and Silva for all of the technology development and uh thank you very very much to everybody. it wasn't uh these types of moves uh require some logistical planning. So, thank you to all who were involved. When I was a bach yeshiva, they used to tell a story. I never knew if it was true or not that uh the principal of our school when he was a getting married. So the day of his wedding he came to yeshiva to learn and in the afternoon he asked permission from the principal if he can go to his wedding because he was so involved in his learning that he felt he's a bak and he needed permission and when he got permission to go to the wedding that's when he went this was the legend that they used to tell us in yeshiva I didn't know if it was true or not I don't think I ever asked him but then a few years ago um I was giving here a shir from men every morning uh five most mornings 5:30 in the morning we would learn uh you know to be jealous. No, we were we were learning uh Gomorrah and Ala and uh there was a a baker who was coming every day. His name is Yehuda Nad and he was getting married and the day of his wedding he came 5:30 in the morning he showed up like every day. So I started off the sh by saying h now that story may also be true if you're actually coming on the day of the wedding. And I gave him official permission to uh to go to his wedding and I even attended the wedding. So the permission was really verified. But today we have another treat and that is there's a kala here who is in the middle of her chevraus and uh she comes every week to the shia. This is nim naf who just got married and she came last week on the day of her wedding literally and she told me I'm getting married tonight. And I'm like, "And you came to a class the day of your wedding?" She's like, "Yeah, and I'm coming next week in the middle of my bra." So I want to welcome her and her mother and wish you a life and everything. And you should have a home filled with health, happiness, joy, prosperity, and all of the it's an honor to have a queen with us uh in addition to all of the queens, but a special queen with us at this at this year. So, thank you. And Maz and Mazlev to the mother as well. Thank you, Eta Ya. So as we know this week we finished safer the last par of safer pud very often vayak and pud are connected but some years like this year they're disconnected they're disjointed so vayak was read last week and pud is going to be read this shabas and it becomes the final chap the final uh para that culminates and completes the entire or as in English it's called the book of Exodus following which we go into the third book of the T of Vayikra also known as Leviticus. So this is basically the grand finale. It's the concluding portion of safer and it's titled an interesting title which is purude. The word pud means an accounting lif means to count and the word pud is to make an accounting to make a count. And the reason it's called that way is because it's the opening words. If you see in the first the first uh verse in the first of the source sheets that's Exodus 38 21 the beginning of it says so the word is here twice in this verse. Basically this is the accounting of the Mishkan. the Mishkan the dwelling place which was a testimony for God's presence among the Jewish people which was counted pukad again the same word based on the mouth the instructions of Mosha is bonar and it was the work of the Levites especially in the hand of Isar who was the son of Aaron Hakayen so basically what happens now is in the continuing verses the continuing murenu presents a detailed account of the many many Many many donations contributed to the construction of the tabernacle of the Mishkan. Not a single coin remains unaccounted for. Mosher Rabenu goes through literally anyone, a man, a woman, a child because children also donated to the Mishkan. The men and the women donated. The Tyra says the women came before the men and they slept the men. It said last week but it says in that even children gave whatever they had whatever they wanted to give. So every single coin that anybody gave whether it was from gold whether it was from silver when whether it was from copperenu counts has them count every single one and exactly the weight of what they received and then gives an account what it was used for very very specifically. And Mosha reports to the people how many pounds of gold, how many pounds of silver, how many c pounds of copper he received and how exactly they were used, where were they used in the structure. Every piece of jewelry and metal that came into his hands, there is an account. Now why was this so relevant? One interpretation, I mentioned this last week in the class, was that there were a few people, rabble rousers, who started to spread rumors that Mosher Rabenu packed away some of the cash maybe to go buy real estate in Saudi Arabia or to purchase a private yacht on the Mediterranean or whatever accusations they had there. But the Medri says that there were people, a few people who were accusing him. What did he do with all of this this money? That's what we spoke about last week. Now it's true this says in the med so it's true and even if Mosha felt compelled to give an accounting and as the med says there were some nudnik who demanded one it's interesting though that the feels the need to record it not every story is recorded so if there were a few people who didn't trust him and he said okay let me show it to you but the records it and it's its own parish and it occupies quite a lot of space because goes through a detailed accounting after all it's not a story that's going to repeat itself. What's the point of knowing the details of each contribution? Now, some of the authorities say something very interesting. They say the Bach writes this in that is giving us a lesson and that is that even trusted leaders need to be able to be transparent with all of the money and funds that they collect. And this is a very very valuable lesson. In other words, not even because somebody is suspected of doing the wrong thing. Even if a person like Mishra knew that 99% of Jews obviously knew that you're talking about a person of impeccable honesty and impeccable flawless purity and authenticity, loyalty and dedication to man and to God. Nonetheless, it behooves even such people, never mind people not on that level, to be able to be completely completely meaning truly truly honest and not just about huge amounts of money, even about a coin that was received and that's a tremendous lesson teaching us transparency. That's true. But the Toyota could have then just done it done very simple and say Rabenu gave an accounting of everything that he received the gold and the copper that was contributed to the project. The toy doesn't only do that. The actually goes through exactly what he did and what he said exactly the weights which doesn't seem relevant because it's not like a story repeating itself. It's not going to happen in another generation. The Mishkan was built once and it wasn't built again. Another very interesting thing is the name. The name means count which means that this is really the theme. The theme of the para is the count of the detailed account of every single every single coin and detail. So why does the feel significant to feel it's so significant to get into the specifics of this element? I mean it's interesting to see exactly exactly we know how many pounds of silver they collected. We know exactly. We know exactly how many pounds of gold. We know exactly how many pounds of copper. Literally everything. We even know that which he could put into larger numbers which known as kikar, tons of silver or gold. And that was left over that which was left over like 1,750 extra shekel of silver that didn't go into the kikar. I mean that's how detailed it is. It would be like you know somebody would say I collected uh $20 million and you know 23 cents. Like that's how specific Moshenu is. It's so interesting. He doesn't give general numbers. He could have given general numbers. You know, we collected 5 million, we collected 1 million. No, he's going to be it's like $8.30 in the equivalent of the currencies that they used then in the desert. There's a very very profound subtle truth that is always is often undercover and when we unravel it it emerges. The word pud the name really contains a very very profound and moving message. You see essentially the whole safer is a book that's dedicated you could call it to nation building. It's the building of a nation in safer bacius. And I'll ask you a question. It's a little trivia for those who remember kish from your uh 11th grade in Bakov or wherever you went. And that is when is the first time the Jewish people are called a nation in anybody knows? Huh? So when Yakovu tells his sons, they're still called children of Israel. B Israel. He gathers them. When is the first time they become an am a people because through huh very good parishes throughout safe we're never called a nation we're called a family always a family ben Israel the children of Israel Israel is Jacob that was a second name and we are his children he has 12 sons he has a daughter Dina everybody creates families and dynasties and it's considered one I wanted to say happy family wasn't always a happy family but let's put it this way One family, one family that went through ups and downs and upheavalss and many vicissitudes, etc. But all is well that ends well. At the end of Berius, the family made peace. They're living together, but they're still a family children of Israel. It's only in Safer Schmis that we get the n the name Am. And who is the first one to coin us with this n with this name? Anybody knows? Par. Yeah. The first one to call us a people, not a family is par. It's interesting. Not Moshe, not God, not the Jewish people themselves. Pare par is the one who sees the family and it says, he uses both words. This nation of Ben is they're becoming much greater and much more powerful than us. We must be very, very sly and clever. This family is going to increase and they shall pose a danger to our entire society. One day they will declare war against us and expel us from the land, occupy Egypt. They know how to colonize other countries. They're a nation of occupiers. We need to be very very clever with this nation. Suddenly we are turned into a nation. It's interesting that parro is the first one to call us a people. Another fascinating thing is our first reference as a people is already associated with anti-semitism. What is the definition of this nation? Danger. The first time we are defined as a people, not as a family. It's in context of they're a dangerous nation. Quite fascinating. Unbelievably fascinating. That's the first time we're identified as a nation. I actually heard this insight from Rabbi, the former chief rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Israel Mayor Lao Shalita today in Tel Aviv. And uh I once heard this insight from that the it was fascinating. The first time we're called a nation rather than a family. It's by parro and it's in terms of these are dangerous. These are dangerous people. This is a dangerous nation. A nation by definition is not about an individual. A nation by definition can't even be about an individual. Individuals are wonderful people, but they're not nations. So safer is really the book dedicated to nation building. It's a nation that ends up in exile. And the bigger thing is it's a nation that is liberated. It's a nation that is molded and crafted. And it's not an easy task to turn people, a group of people into a nation. A nation needs an identity. A nation needs a mandate. A nation needs a vision, a dream, a trajectory, a destiny. And as a result of that, safer is so saturated with this theme of how Jews become a nation. And it's not easy. We see how Mosher Rabenu himself watches the quarrels between the D two Jews fighting etc. And it's a struggle to be able to turn individuals into a healthy a cohesive an integrated a unified nation. We see how much the sages extol that moment of when they come to midc. It says in the in the singular it rested like he rested. There was an entireish. So in Berius we're a family and sometimes a very fragmented family. It's only an exodus where we're called an am and this becomes the pervading thread. In fact if you look at berius it's more or less the story of individuals. You have the story of Adam of Kava the snake cayen heak a s lit hagarshalitzk etc. Rifka, Asov, Yakov, Raha, Yehuda, Ysef, individuals as part of a family. But is a book about a people, a nation. Of course, individuals are mentioned especially in you have par, you have Shifra, you have Pua, you have Miriam, you have Par's daughter, you have Yed, you have Mosha, you have Aaron, you have Tipporra, you have Isra. But all these names are discussed as part of building a people, representatives of a nation. We're in the middle of forming a new people. So is about the collective, not about the individual. The people leave Egypt together. The people face the Red Sea together and they cross the sea together. The people collect the mana together. They fight a mullik together. They stand in front of Hari together. They worship the golden calf together. They build the Mishkan together. Of course, it was led by individuals. You had Batalo, you had Ali, they were the artisans. They were the craftsmen. You always have individual people who have to run the show. Moenu is in charge. But nonetheless, it's a story of how a massive massive group, 600,000 men between 20 and 60 and at least an equal amount of women, maybe more. So, you're deal and then you have children and you have senior citizens. You're talking about anywhere between two, three, four million people. We don't know the exact number who joined together. They were oppressed. They were disjointed. And they're transformed by Mosha as a messenger of Hashem into a collective body, a collective nation. From disintegration, we become a collective and we achieve the title of nationhood. And that's where it continues. It continues with hari. We're giving a unified vision. And then in collective insanity a moment of collective insanity 40 days later we worship the calf which is a colossal failure. And then after that as a fixing as a remedy together we build the mishk. So every project in every major moment in parish in safer is about the nation. The nation and we see it most when it comes to the mishk. The mishk doesn't say I want a few people to donate. Everybody, men, women, children, and whoever wants, it's voluntary. And who does he choose to run the show? Rashi says, "But Sal from Shvet Yehuda from Shvon, two tribes that were very, very different. They came from different mothers. Yehuda was considered the king of the Yehuda would ultimately produce David and Schlan Msiach, family of royalty. Dun was the last tribe that went in the desert. And Rashi says, Hashem wanted a show like everybody is equal. It's not like but has the right to run and build the Mishkan. He does it as a partnership with Ali of meaning this is a collective effort where everybody everybody joins together. So this is a home of the people. Every single member of the Jewish people could contribute without any distinction whatsoever. He didn't have to be a cayenne or a ley or is or a woman or a child or a man or any age. This was open to everybody and it was built with the donation of every single Jew who wanted to donate. It was built for the people. This is the first time something was created. If we want to uh use Lincoln's memorable phrase, of the people, by the people, for the people, of course, with the instruction of God Almighty. And at last, the long journey is complete. The grand finale is here. The national project is done right here at the end of Ayak, the beginning of Kud, everything is done. Soon the Mishkan would be erected. the divine presence would come down. It's a charged moment. It's a dramatic peak in a very very long and difficult and challenging and turbulent journey. After so many ups and downs, God says, "All is good. All is well that ends well. And it's time to move in to our new home to be with you together for eternity." Right here, there is always a profound challenge. And it's this profound challenge that coup addresses in a very very elegant, subtle and beautiful way. And that is does nation building by definition come at the expense of individuals? Sure, you can't have a nation without individuals joining together. A nation is made up of individuals. As they say, cl is made up from rebels. That's true. But does the word claustra by definition focus more on the collective and lose sight of the individual woman, the individual girl, the individual boy, man or child? In other words, often when you see a collective whole, you could come to think that the value of the individual is in so far that he or she is part of the whole. As part of the collective, you're very very valuable, extremely valuable. Because if everybody runs in different directions, we have no collective. But the value of my eye or your eye is in a deep place due only to the fact that it contributes to the Wii. Yes, you can't have wi without a lot of eyes. I even have proof of that. And that is a game called Wii and it's spelled with two eyes. True. But the only value, ask your child or ask anybody who plays Wii. The only value of the two eyes is that it gets the game going and the game is called we. So in a very very subtle way even though it's hard to admit but does the individual in the group feel that ultimately what is my contribution I make part of the group but I'm part of the group and if the moment I'm not I can't even look at you. you don't really have value or certainly you don't have much value. And sometimes people get this feeling consciously or unconsciously. It's sometimes communicated directly or it's communicated indirectly. Sometimes it's communicated even unwillingly. Sometimes it's communicated just because of people the way they're feeling about themselves and maybe they pass on that feeling not even fully aware of what they're doing. But sometimes we all know that a sense of peoplehood has for a long time characterized the nation called amis and that has been a blessing because especially with our circumstances and our experiences it's the support of community it's a support of family it's the connection of people it's the mitzvah of love your fellow like yourself that has been indispensable to our survival and our success And it's true till this very day. Mitzim is remembered by every single Jew as a people that left Egypt and remained a people since. And it's really incredible. It's incredible that it's more than 3,300 years and the people not only survived but still thrives. And that's why wherever Jews arrived, they always knew community must be built. They came to a place. They built a yeshiva school. They built a gillisa. They built a home for assistant living. They built charity organizations, yeshiva, schuls, whatever it is, girls schools, boys schools and a center where people could come together creating a sense of belonging. So they established communal social, religious organizations and systems of communal responsibility. The whole idea that we give 10% or 20% of our of our revenues for these are all institutions of that emphasize the fact that we say in if I'm not for me who will be for me but if I'm only for myself who am I but it's interesting that before the words if I am just for myself what am I Hill says this in the first chapter of the ethics of the fathers says first he says but if I am not for myself who will be here for me but if I'm only for myself that moani what am I so over the generations Jews have been inculcated with this idea of allegiance of dedication dedication to family dedication to community heaven only knows the guilt and shame of what you have been told if you don't show up to the kaneka party what bubby is going to think about you if you don't show up to the shabas table all the sacrifice and blood and sweat and tears that went in for you to show up at this sim and meal and you're really not going to fly in from California. Why? Cuz 5 and a half hours you have to be on the plane now and we're not sponsoring a first class ticket for you and you're really not going to fly in whatever it is. But this allegiance to family community has been a very very profound blessing. But like every blessing it also can come with a challenge and that is sometimes a very deep feeling. And again, it could be unconscious but very deep. And that is that if I'm not part of the big picture, then I have to search for myself elsewhere. There's not really a place for me. And this is where paras comes in. And that's why it has such a profound and revolutionary message. Before we conclude the project, before we conclude the book that's dedicated to nation building, building a people, the Tyra dedicates the final portion and gives us the name. And the word means focusing on the individual because whenever you count, it's always about an individual. I can't count a group of 10 million people. I have to count one and then two and then three and then four and then five. So the Tyra almost interrupts the narrative shifting the story from creating a space for Hashem in this world to the work of counting every individual contribution which came in. There may have been a child who collected some pennies in his uh what's it called those bags? Huh? Piggy bank. Piggy bank. Mama Shafu. And then when he heard from Mishabenu the excitement that Hashem asked that everybody should donate this little child hesitantly and sheepishly went over to Moshenu. He may have been even a little scared and he may have thought it'll be thrown back into his face like what is this? Come on. We only take from the real from the real can donate something. What are you going to give me? An old rusty shekele that you got from Kanekal from your poor uncle who's cheap. And yet this child gave it to Rabenu and Mosher Rabenu took it and at the end Moshenu said I'm going to give an account of what happened with this boy's penny or with this boy's nickel or with this boy with this girl's dime or quarter. something that's missing a lot today. That's why I'm talking about it. There's no contribution that is not worth being accounted for. But why not? Come on. Let's talk about the big ones. It's not going to build you a mishk. The answer is because what Moshenu is teaching is that there's no individual person that is not recognized also as an individual with his or her own hopes, dreams, aspirations, disappointments, and challenges. It's not only because every dollar counts. Of course, every dollar counts. One billion dollars are made up of single dollars. You can't make up $1 billion. And in fact, people who are rich are sometimes more stingy because they know the value of a dollar. Right? There's an old Don't trust the benefactors. A guy who has nothing chew, he's going to help you. Sometimes the people who have nothing true, they're going to help you. That's of course true. Every dollar counts. But also because the life and contribution of individuals matters in and of itself. In fact, we see here a fascinating thing. There's another count that happens in middle of the building of the Mishkan. And nobody knows how exactly how it comes in. Truman tatsava is interrupted with parasisa and then you go back to kudava is the commandment to build the mishk is the execution middle isa how does kisa start if you look at the second source right here tells I want you to count the Jewish people let everybody give a shekel and count them and these half shekels were used in the construction of the mishk but the word he uses for counting is so interesting. What's the word? What does that mean? When you lift up the head of the Jewish people, why is that counting? Counting. He should say when you count them like and has to explain because it doesn't make sense. What does when I'm counting people, I'm lifting up their heads. I hope I'm not lifting up their heads. I mean I mean it's nice to lift up heads if you make sure that the whole body gets uplifted. What does this really mean here? Again in middle of this grand project of building the Mishkan Mosha conducts two counts. He counts the people in parishes kisa through the half shekele that they contributed and then he counts the contributions themselves not the people the contributions in parishes and it's unique that this census is defined asa lifting up the heads. Hashem says, "Don't count people to turn them into numbers. Rather to highlight the uniqueness of each one counted." That's what it means to lift up their head. Sometimes we could make a count because everybody's just a number. I just have to know how many numbers I have. How many people like in prison they count. And it's all about making sure everybody is here. Nobody escaped. So counting is a very very very sensitive issue. That's why he says don't count them directly. Count them through a half a shekele. He fact he says there could be a plague if you count them directly right you're going you're going now to the contrary in the middle of this project we're highlighting the opposite idea of the individual because that's the only way you could count and that's why he says don't even count them directly count their coins there could be a plague if you count them directly until today we don't count Jews directly because of this mitzvah it's a funny mitzvah if you go into a show they're looking for a minion right people who are used to it are used to it but strangers are Very like Jews, they don't go like 1 2 3 4 5. They're like not one, not two, not three, not four. Like Gentiles who come in the first time are like, "Wow, this is an interesting people. Not three, not seven, not eight." And then in our imagination, we did it even better. We just duplicated it. Or even a better one, this is what people do when they're hungry. Let's hope your number came out in the right one. You didn't become you didn't become er but the point is that was just a joke. The point is we count it does say inkim that when we do there's many people put both of their hands on top of the bread with 10 fingers because the braha has 10 words in it. But what's what's what's the idea here? The idea here is you know whenever you make a count whenever you make a count you always have to be careful because the reason we make a senses is to flex muscles. Google or Microsoft will tell you we have 10,000 employees 20,000 employees. This shows the power of a company. An army may say America may say you know we have more than 1 million troops don't start up. Uh a country makes a census and might say we have 300 million people. This shows how much taxes we get our labor force. Whenever you make a census, it's to flex muscles and to demonstrate power. And here we have a serious crisis. And that is God knows that if if Jews are going to start counting themselves and they're going to see their numbers, it can lead to depression. When they look at themselves, they say we constitute today 14 15 million people. That's not even a quarter of 1% of civilization. Listen to that again. It's not even a quarter of 1% of humanity. Okay? Not even 25 of one. Not even a quarter of 1%. It's less than a quarter of 1%. In fact, an error on a Chinese statistic is larger than the population of the Jewish people. That's the fact is 1.2 if 1.3 billion Chinese as I'm talking another million were born. And the Jewish people were literally struggling for every single number. Literally, you have, I don't know, almost three billion Christians, you have 1.9 billion Muslims, and then uh Jews, you have 14 million. So now Jews are looking at themselves and saying, "We're supposed to not only survive, we're also supposed to change the whole world and bring redemption to the world." Like really? So God says, "Don't count Jews zitnu. Count their contributions. Don't count them. Count what they give." And when you look at what they give their contribution, you realize that it's far beyond what you imagine. So means when you count, you need to lift up you lift up the people. If you're not going to lift up the people, if it's just going to make people into numbers, that's not a count that we recognize. The count is there to count you. There's something about you that is indispensable. You're not just part of a you're also major part of a group but it starts off with if I am not for me who am I and that's who will be here for me and that's why there's a minion we have a concept of right of meat if a little drop of milk falls into a big pot of chal then there's a ratio of 1 to 60 it gets nullified it gets subsumed these are called of bit and kashras dominion something that's counted individually is there's no B. There's no BL. In other words, when you have something that's counted, it's sold individually rather than by weight. Sometimes you sell things by weight. But if something is sold individually, it's called dabin. You count it as an individual. The is it's never nullified even in a mixture of a thousand or a million others. Why? Because since it's sold as an individual so it shows its significance and therefore it can get nullified even in a huge a huge number. So this is a huge called the shalah says that's why God keeps on counting the Jewish people. That's what caused them never to be nullified and assimilate during history. Because usually if you have a small group exiled all over the world and the majority is from other cultures, other nations, other religions after a few years, you lose your identity. It's just natural. You forfeit your identity. What happened to all of the other empires and nations as they got exiled from their countries? They got lost. They got assimilated in other nations. In fact, in 1989, interesting story. The Daly Lama called a few Jews and he said that he has a big problem because in 19 1950 I think 59 the Chinese exiled the Daly Lama the Buddhists from uh from Tibet right and so they're living in exile in India and this is from the 1950s so this was in 1989 so like a few decades passed and he called the Jews and he said I have a problem we have now a second generation growing up not in their native homeland and I don't know how to preserve their identity so I called in the Jews cuz you have done it for 2,000 years. You've been exiled and you preserve the identity. Could you give me the secret? How did you do it 2,000 years later? I don't know what they answered him, but one of the ideas is that says Hashem counted the Jews again and again. And this is the first one to lift up their heads. Because a real count means that when you're anchored in your own essence, wherever you are, you don't get lost. I can only get nullified because I'm vulnerable to the power of the majority. But that's only when I'm vulnerable. When I'm anchored in my own essence, which is infinite and eternal. It's rooted in God's essence. So I don't care if there's another thousand, there's another million, there could be another billion, but you're not subjected to that type of loss of self because of that deep, deep, deep connection. And as a result of that he says and that is whenever you do a census has to be done in a way to signal the value of an individual. You're a unique gift. There's a contribution only I could bring because of your very presence before anything else. And to lift someone's head means to recognize their uniqueness. One of the most one of the most valuable things in life, maybe even the most valuable is when we can see people for who they are. When people can truly truly be seen, be able to truly see a person. Now, I don't think I can do that if I have never been seen. If I have never been seen, we don't even know what it means. And again, I don't mean in words. We could say words and they're beautiful and they're eloquent, but I'm talking about energetically to really really be able to see somebody just to see them. To see them in all of their depth, to see them in all of their light, to see them in to see their entire soul and their entire body to really really be able to see. And therefore, when this person is giving one shekel or two shekelsenu says, I'm gonna count it. I want to see it. I want to notice it. That's what it means to lift up heads. There's something extremely healing when somebody is seen. When somebody is truly truly seen, even by one person, there's something so healing and transformative about it. Sadly, I would say many people live their entire lives or at least many years and nobody ever saw them. And how do they even know how to see themselves? they can see themselves because as we grow we need an example for somebody to teach us what it means to be seen by somebody seeing me in fact I would say that some of the greatest of the great what allowed them to really become great was there was at least one person in their life who truly saw them they didn't see them as a tool to use them in a good way even in a good way they didn't see them as an instrument that they're going to contribute something that's that's much much later what they just saw is they saw them. They truly saw them and they saw them in all of their colorfulness and all of their depth. They just saw them as they were, but not externally only, completely internally. And when you have somebody who really really sees you, then it's a gift of a lifetime and beyond because then you could see yourself. And the moment you can see yourself, everything is different. The moment you really see yourself, you're now connected to your life force and energy. And there's nothing in the world that comes close to being connected to your own life force and energy. Because your life force and energy is literally the divine life force and energy that's flowing through you, through me, through you, through you, and it's yours. That's the idea of eily. This is not about arrogance or hoardiness. Some people who don't understand what this is think that to be seen is a form of like you have to stand out. You need attention. It's the exact opposite. Those who are not seeing need much more attention than those who are seeing. Because if I'm not seeing, I'm looking to be seen. And I'm looking for people to tell me who I am. So if I can get validation from this one or that one or that one, maybe it's a hope that maybe I'll be seen. But it's a fake seeing because when I'm being seen is usually for something external. And that's why you'll see that it feels not good. It feel doesn't feel good because it doesn't fill the real real void. To be seen is actually to be appreciated for your true being and presence which is the soul that God gave you which is which even though it's connected to every other soul, it's still a distinct manifestation of divine energy. Which is why the Mishna says that everybody needs to say for me the world was created. It's not narcissism. It's the opposite. It's really knowing that there's something, there's a light that you bring to the world with your presence that nobody before and nobody after can bring to the world. The gift of seeing your children, the gift of seeing yourself, the gift of seeing another human being, family or friend or stranger is a gift like no other. And when nation building comes at the price of that, it exacts a very very profound cost. It's hard because if I'm running a classroom and there's 20 children in some of our schools there's 30 children and in some minimad and there's 35 kids in the class and they can't afford another teacher to split the class and I come in as a teacher. What does it even mean that I can see each one as individual? I'm trying to run a class and if you're a mother or a father of a big family can har even not a big family every person to see is really it's a tremendous tremendous opportunity but it takes a tremendous internal work in myself because I have to be completely regulated to be able to see my son or my daughter or any other human being in their truest and deepest space without any judgment without preconceived notions without opinions And it's not about what I say. It's an energy that I feel in my heart and then they'll feel it. And if I don't feel it in my heart, I could mask it with beautiful, beautiful words, which many of us are very good with words, including myself. Some of us have the gift of gab. But if it doesn't come with inner authentic energy, it's as the the old cliche, words are cheap. Words are cheap when they're just words, when they're not manifesting that deeper truth that we're feeling. And I really I don't think I'm capable of feeling it with somebody else if I never really felt felt felt it with myself. How can I give somebody something that I I don't even know what it looks like. I'm just going to give them what I was given, which is unconscious guilt and shame to be able to do the right thing and give me nas. And of course, it's all because of love because I love you and I don't want to get you in trouble and I want you to have an amazing amazing life. So, it's always done with good calculation, especially when it's done by parents or educators who really love these children and really want the best for them. But in a paradoxical way there's something painful deep inside because the person truly truly doesn't feel seeing even if they can't articulate it that way. And that's why a coupe is so so powerful. I maybe once told you a story. It's really an incredible story. There was a uh a century ago there was a great symphony conductor. He was an Italian maestro. His name was Arturo Tuscanini. You heard of Tuscanini? Tuscanini died in 1957. He lived in Italy. He was an Italian and then he came uh he came to New York and he led concerts all over the world. Now he was known as an absolute perfectionist also as an eccentric and he had few peers. He had a biographer who would interview him periodically over the years as part of a major book project. He was writing about Arturo Tuscanini. Anyway, one evening he was in town. He calls Tuscanini, the biographer calls Tuscanini and he says, "I'm going to be in town tomorrow night. can I come over to interview you? And Tuskanini says, I can't. I'm very very busy and I really can't uh I don't have time for for any conversation. He says even a few minutes. He says, "No, it's something that requires absolute concentration. I really can't communicate with you. It's not the right night. I can't be interrupted." The biographer says he he feel he knew this as an opportunity. You know, how do you get to know somebody better than this? He says, "Maestro, could you tell me what it is?" He says, "Yeah, there's a concert being played overseas. I used to be the conductor of that particular s symphony orchestra today. Somebody else conducts it and I couldn't be there. I couldn't be there this year. Somebody else is conducting it. I'm going to listen to this concerto on shortwave radio." I don't know if anybody knows if everybody knows what shortwave radio is, but I'm going to listen to it on shortwave radio and hear how the other conductor is leading this uh symphony. and I don't want to be interrupted. I need to listen to it very very carefully. So he says, "Maestro, it would be my honor if you would allow me to come to your house and just watch you. I want to watch you listening on short rave radio to the to the concert. I want to hear how you listen to an orchestra played by someone else, but one that you used to lead and direct. I promise I won't say a word. I won't interrupt you. I'll sit on the other side of the room quietly." So he says Tuskanini says if you promise to be perfectly quiet he didn't say the he said or whatever you can come. The next night the biographer comes he sits quietly he watches our tourini listening to the concert. It takes at least an hour or an hour and a half. When it ends the biographer turns to Tuscanini and he says wow that was magnificent. That was a masterpiece. Tuscanini says, "Nah, not really." He says, "Why not?" He said, "There were supposed to be 120 musicians, including 15 violinists. There were only 14 violins playing." This is on shortwave radio. This is not on video. So, he thought Tuscanini is either a little crazy or he's joking. How could he know from 6,000 miles away? How can he know over shortwave radio that one of the violinists was missing? It just didn't make sense to him. So, he had his doubts, but he didn't want to say anything. And he went home. The next morning, he called the concert hall overseas. He couldn't call that night. It was already late in Italy, but he wherever it was in Europe, but he called them overseas and he asked for the music director and he inquired how many musicians were supposed to have been playing the night before and how many had actually shown up. And what happens is the concert hall director tells him that there was supposed to be 120 musicians including 15 violinists and only 14 had shown up. This man was blown away. This guy is sitting on a couch or on a chair listening on the radio and he knows this. From 120 he knew there were 119. This just did not make sense to him. He was amazed. So he comes back to Tuscanini and he says, "I owe you an apology. When you told me what happened, I thought this was senseless. This is ridiculous. You were just being dramatic or joking. I thought you were just making it up. I see you weren't. Tell me, how did you know? How did you know a violinist was missing? So, Tuscanini looks at him and says, "There's a very profound difference between you and me." To the audience, everything sounds wonderful, but I'm the conductor. The conductor has to know every note of music that has to be played. When I realized that certain notes were not being played, I knew without a doubt that one of the violinists was missing, I know every single note of that symphony. And I knew to get every note, you need 15. Not every note was touched, was captured, was internalized, was played. And that's how I know somebody was missing. And uh when I read this, I was like, "Wow, that's the idea. That's the true idea. For the audience, there's a violin here, a violin there. Who knows the difference? But for the creator, there's an indispensable note called you. That note cannot be played by anybody else in history. Not before you and not after you. And it's not because you are I'm the greatest saint who ever lived. It's just because it's you. It's your soul that is manifested in your body that is absolutely unique. This is your shekel. It's what you give. It's your light. It's your presence. And maybe for others, they may not even see the difference. But for the creator, for the the conductor of the symphony, this is absolutely indispensable. And this is where our truest value is. My truest value could never be in what people think about me. Of course, it's nice if people have a positive opinion about me. Do you? Okay. Thank you. It's nice. I'm never I'm never going to sue anybody for giving me a compliment. But that's not really where true fulfillment happens. Feedback is great. Constructive criticism is even greater. Jewish constructive criticism is the most amazing thing in the world. It keeps your ego small for 120 years and then some. So, it's a beautiful, beautiful blessing. And everybody needs feedback and should get feedback. But it's really about truly truly appreciating your own life force and energy which is the direct flow. It's like a rope that goes all the way to the highest level and comes down and you're holding on to that rope every single moment. And it's that rope that I sway and it's ripple effects that makes the changes in all of the in the cosmos and in all of the worlds that I make. I once heard you know Araml freed right Araf Freed the famous singer. So he had a father his name was Rabbi Freriedman. All of a he was a Hungarian Jew and uh he uh so I heard from his brother I think I heard from his brother Rabbi Manis Friedman a story about their father Freriedman after the war was in Prague which was a communist country and he was liberating Jews from there getting them out to be able to go to freedom and he was caught and he was arrested in Prague and it was pretty serious. This is after the Holocaust. And uh in in in in prison he had a tahillum and he would say and uh he made a very deep resolution. He saw how much the tahillum was helping him and connecting him to Hashem and to his soul. And he made a resolution that if he goes out he's going to say a huge amount of every single day for the rest of his life as gratitude. And so he was liberated. And that's what he did. And every day he had his Tahillim and he said whatever the number of kapitlak chapters he did. Anyway, years years passed he was working for a yeshiva in flatbush. And one day early in the morning he was woken up by the fire department like 4:00 or 5 in the morning that this yeshiva was on Ocean Parkway was in flames. I think it was arson or something else. And he right away flew down there to to Ocean Parkway to be able to be there as they extinguished the flames of the yeshiva. And he was there literally all day with the with the fire department and late afternoon it was like crisis after crisis after crisis he had to save the building and then he realized you know that he didn't din yet and it was late and he ran back home and he got his fill in and he put on fillin and very soon it was very soon it was sunset. Okay. Now at that time his son said he was negotiating with somebody about buying a house in Crown Heights. It wasn't that easy. He didn't have really money. So, it was hard. You know, it wasn't so easy to buy a house. Even those days when the houses were like $19,000 on President Street and every Jew is like, if I would have only bought I would have today been a multi-millionaire. You know, every Jew who walks by the houses in Borak. If I only would have been aim whatever his father, but my father was too idealistic in any case. So, uh but he needed a house. He had a big family, the whole Freriedman family. And uh so he had this this this question. So a few days earlier he wrote a letter to the labavba describing the whole situation with the house and he asked advice and a blessing if he should go ahead and borrow the money get the down payment and buy the house and so forth. When he came home that night and he he uh he put on his fill in he finished avening and the fire was settled all all it worked out but was a difficult thing. One of the secretaries of the Reb that night called him that the Reb just gave out an answer and he gave him a blessing. think it should be with masak and you should go ahead and buy the house and it'll be with and it's the right thing to do. I think it was a house on president near Kingston. In any case, and he finished and he finished the answer and then the secretary says, but the Reb on the bottom wrote a word that's very strange. He wrote to him question mark and what does this mean? And then he realized this was the first day he forgot to say his tahillum from when he was in Prague because of the fire and he came home and it was nightful and he forgot to say his toll. So he wrote to him question mark and then he realized nobody knew about this. Nobody knew about this. And a Jew sits and takes it to him and says five chapters, one chapter, 10. Who even notices? So it's what your Bubba did. It's what the Alaba did. It's what he did. But somehow in the cosmic symphony, there are the notes that your violin plays. It's your heart. It's your soul. It's your prayers. It's your expression to Hashem. and and and a nasiatic who's sensitive to those frequencies felt that that day there was something missing. Laavd Tuscanini in his world knew there was a violin missing. That's what Tuscanini understood and you couldn't argue with him. Don't argue with me about this. Tuscanini would say, I am the conductor. I know my notes. On a higher, deeper spiritual level, there are the spiritual notes of music that every single person contributes simply with their soul, their presence. And our words and our thoughts and our actions could become manifestations of it. And that was it. It was just a question mark. It was like something was missing in the world today because of your chapters, your chapters of Tahill. And that's really the idea of the alipishk. Once I once saw a uh there's a magazine called the diplomat. It's an old magazine. So there was a Chinese scholar and he explained the Trump would like this. He explained the difference between the China dream and the American dream. So this guy wrote like this. The China dream is the dream of a nation. The American dream is the dream of an individual. That's what he wrote. I told you Donald Trump would like this. Now what is the dream of Judaism? Laavdo. What is the dream of Judaism? Is it a China dream or is it an American dream? And I think it's certainly it's certainly the dream of a nation, but it's equally the dream of an individual. It's really attempting what may sometimes seem like the impossible, but it only seems as the impossible when we don't understand the true depth of a nation and the true depth of an individual as an anchor of God's light. Yes. Is it possible that was also Yeah, exactly. What's the catch? What happens often isel came from mass hysteria. Mass hysteria means when people lose their individual presence and they just surrender. I remember I was once in the airport with my wife. We were going somewhere and there was a crazy crazy long security line and I'm like Estee, oh my god, I don't think we're going to make the plane. Like look at this. Like the line it wasn't just a long line. It was like going to another floor. like you had to wait on the escalade all the way till you went to the next floor. It was like a huge line. I mean, it looked like at the moment, I don't know, an hour, an hour and a half, maybe more. And uh I said some I said to her, I said, you know, I think somehow at the end of the at the end of the hall, there may be another line. So, we went maybe somebody told me, maybe I asked, I don't remember. We went and sure enough, that line was open. It was open. We went through, I don't know, like five minutes. And my wife says to me, "Look at the lesson. Look at the lesson. People saw everybody going into this line. They didn't even think that there may be another option. Everybody knows what they're doing. By the way, everybody doesn't know what they're doing. Sometimes everybody knows what they're doing and sometimes everybody doesn't know what they're doing. And you have to know just because everybody went here, this may be the wrong line to go. I remember uh the caterpillar we spoke about exactly the processionary caterpillar. Don't always go in the same circle. That circle is going to kill you. Go where the food is. Go where the food is. And you know sometimes it comes even with our children and our students you know we feel all the kids went to this school or all the kids are doing this all my neighbors all my nephews our whole family and therefore I should also push him or her to go in this place but sometimes it's a completely completely flawed decision even if it's done with good intentions. Sometimes we need to completely be sensitive to where the person is, what their presence is, who they are, and what's their potential of shining. And it's a very, very sensitive, it's an extremely sensitive subject. I remember Kofi Anan was the general director of the UN. And in the middle of all the suicide bombings, he turned to Israel and he said in one of his speeches, he said, "Are you going to tell me that Israel is the only country that's right and the whole world that's criticizing her is wrong? Are you going to tell that to me? It doesn't make sense." So I wrote in an article. Yes, Mr. Hanan. Absolutely. When 6 million Jews were gassed and a million and a half children were gassed, the whole world was silent. You also think the world was right and the Jews were wrong. So this is very important in people's lives to be able to trust themselves when you but you have to know when you can trust yourself. In other words, I have to be able to trust not my addictions and my craziness and my insanity and my but when you are experiencing your violin when you're experiencing your music, people have to learn to be able to really trust themselves because it's that trust that carries you through a difficult world and allows you to actually give your light. Yes. Right. It's a great question. So I think and yeah your question was how do you communicate and educate your children as an example of good deeds and kindness and so forth if you don't talk about it because you don't want to be a big shot I think with most of our children they know almost everything instinctively huh right a lot by osmosis you don't say very often I think they feel the energy they feel how regulated and present and you are And how you know? Huh? My children talk about everything. She says talk about everything. I think so. I think if it's done with the right intention. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. You really I don't know that there's a rule. It's it's really it's really showing up with with sincerity and authenticity. If I'm trying to brag to my kids, obviously what's the point, right? If I'm really sharing something that touched me, you know, you may say, I called up the Spanish gardener to thank them and I saw how touched they were and I realized, you know, the impact of such a telephone call. Like how often do they get, you know, like such types of things could be extremely moving, especially if it's done with real sincerity and real authenticity of communicating something that touched us to people that we love. Okay. There was a comedian who once said that a graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that individuality is the key to success. And B, it's also usually somebody who made $7 billion and he's telling everybody, you know, forge your own path and don't listen to anybody else just like me who was thrown out of all the schools and today I'm worth almost a hundred billion dollars. But a wise man once said, "Diversity is the one thing that we all have in common." The truth is that when I truly am connected to my deepest self. So then diversity becomes a natural thing. Not because I'm trying to, you know, put down or to be different. It's almost some people have this mitzvah. I have to be different. I have to stand out. But the reason I have to stand out is again because I'm not connected to myself. So I need you to see that I'm standing out. The eony really idea is that the person is truly a manifestation of a particular life force and energy that that that that come out. I once read an article by Rabbi Jonathan Sax Shalam the former chief rabbi of England and he said there was a Catholic writer he died a little while ago. You may have heard of him. His name was Paul Johnson. Paul Johnson wrote a book called the history of the Jews. It's a beautiful book by a non-Jew where he really touched such beautiful things that he noticed about the Jewish people. And uh he writes, you know, sometimes from an outsider, you get to see things that you don't realize. I remember he writes a line there that the Jewish people paved paved paved a way of purpose in the jungle of history like just very beautiful things. So Rabbi Saxs asked him what most struck him about Judaism and the Jewish people in the years that he spent researching his work, History of the Jews. And uh Rabbi Sach says that Paul Johnson replied roughly in these words. He says there have been in the course of history societies that emphasize the individual like the secular west today. There have been others that placed most weight on the collective like communist Russia or China for example. Judaism was the most successful example we know of a tradition that managed the delicate balance between both giving equal weight to individuals and collective responsibility coming with that. Judaism was a religion of strong individuals who knew what it means to trust yourself and also strong communities. He said this was extremely rare and difficult in history and he felt that it constituted one of the greatest greatest achievements of Judaism. This is what Paul Johnson told uh Rabbi Saxs and when I thought about it I realized that this goes back all the way to the Genesis. How did this happen? Hashem made a promise to after the which we say every day in Ding after the binding of we read it on rash in the we read it every morning. And what did he say? You remember I will increase your children like the stars of heaven and the sand of the sea. Now at that time nobody knew how many stars there were in heaven. They thought there were a couple of stars in heaven. You know you go out at night and you see a couple of stars. Today we know that the numbers of stars are unimaginable and mind mind staggering. And that's only the stars we know about. But Hashem says two things. I'm going to increase them like the stars of heaven and like the sand of the sea. Why? Two examples. The stars are numerous and we all know that the sand is quite numerous. Go to the beach and you'll see there's a lot of sand out there on the beach, not on the beach. Hashem uses both illustrations. Now, in fact, I would say choose stars over sand because the stars actually exceed even the sand. It's surprising, but there are more stars than sand. So to speak about sand after stars is superfluous once you set stars it's actually much more than sand and I want to show you here the majesty of how every word is precise a single grain of sand is valueless what are you going to do with a single grain of sand tell me you're going to sell it on eBay take one grain of sand then what are you going to do with it you can't even plant anything comp combined together they make up a wonderful beach if you have one grain of sand at the water you say what a beautiful beach. I'm going to lie down on the grain of sand in the sun and read a book. But you have a lot a lot a lot of grains of sand. Hundreds of thousands, millions and millions, hundreds of mill billions. You have an amazing amazing beach. You have a field, you have soil, you have a farm, you have earth, you could plant, you have produce, and you have what we call earth. If you go to Hawaii, you grow to Greece or you go to the Riviera. And I know Trump wants to make Gaza the next Riviera of the Middle East, you go to a you go to a lot, you go to Cancun, you even go to Miami Beach, the second natural habitat of the Jewish nation in lie of New York. Whatever these people, one grain of sand won't amount to anything. But together, ah, this is a thing of value. The sand can form a beach and mud and glass and computer chips. It's all made of sand. Now, let's talk about stars. Stars are individuals. Each one is a powerful source of light and an energy on its own. In fact, two stars coming together can be a destructive force. Two stars that collide create an explosion. They destroy each other. So, Hashem tells Abraham of Ramino, "Let me tell you the secret of your children. They will be blessed to be like stars and be like sand. On one hand, we're all united. We're one. Ask the anti-semites. They don't see no difference. A Jew is a Jew is a Jew is a Jew. That brings out our collective oneness. Like the Mika, it's literally made of one because in the source, everything is truly truly one and unified with the ultimate source with no division. That's why we say if I'm only for myself, what am I? I'm missing so much without the relationship, without the connection, without my own. I'm a grain of sand. That's why I need the other sand. And that's sand represents humility because it's humility that allows us to really connect to people. It's humility that allows us to see other people, to feel other people, to empathize with other people, to really connect to other people. When I connect my life with others, beginning family and community, etc. The Jewish people, we become larger and deeper and a beautiful, beautiful beach. But there's another side to the promise. Your children are going to be like stars. Literally like stars. Each person as a unique individual. Every star has its personality, so to speak. its chemistry, its shape, and some of them are larger than the sun. It's unbelievable. You know, you look at a star, it looks tiny. Go a little closer, could take you 4 billion lighty years. Go a little closer and you'll see they're larger than the sun. We call them small only because of our retina goes crazy from such sizes. It can't relate to it. So, our retina turns it into small, turns it small, but really it's larger than the sun. So, sometimes you look at an individual, including yourself, and you say, "At best, I'm just a little little tiny tiny thing." But the moment you get closer, the moment you really see the star from close, it's literally a star. You're a star. And you're not a star because somebody said it. And you're not a star because somebody complimented you. You're a star by your very very creation. It's your unique light that the star casts. It's your unique warmth. It's your unique energy. This is the value of an individual is also divine. Everybody have a beautiful, beautiful week. Thank you. We are moving to