How Can a Father Sell His Daughter as a Slave?

[Music] um [Music] oh my God okay good morning everybody Welcome there's one source sheet it's on the bema are they page of papers on the Bimmer okay okay welcome everybody I guess you got a Mazel tov s your daughter what married last night oh Mazel toe wow okay beautiful [Music] okay if you didn't take a source sheet please take it from the bhima and we're about to begin okay today's class is dedicated by devorah zieger thank you very very much we are grateful and atlaja in everything so I assume I could I think speculate fairly that most people across the globe who are giving this week a class in parshus mushpatam will not focus on the circum that we are going to focus on you'll see why in a moment we read it we learn it we are Jews who Embrace so we accept it but we do it a little fast if you know what I mean and certainly people don't say okay let me give I'm looking for a really inspirational class today I think this is this is the Posse especially there are plenty sukum that seem so beautiful and enthralling and inspiring about love and generosity and fairness and Justice and kindness and being there for the poor and the homeless and not oppressing foreigners and refugees there's plenty of material that is really the foundation of human civilization but I decided that uh we should focus on these Basilica because I think on the contrary it's so important to be able to if I could say go into so to speak to the Lions then or to the thicket of those that to our modern sensibility seems so difficult to wrap our brains around and you'll see in a moment what I'm talking about it won't be hard to see why people are not comfortable giving a class on these and yet try to explore and figure out maybe there's really much more than what would meet the eye at first glance and would really make people very uncomfortable especially in the 21st century and I am referring to the First Source the first line in your Source sheets which is Exodus chapter 21 verse 7 close to the beginning of parishes mushpatam and you hear it in the first words when a man sells his daughter as an Amma as a slave Lois she should not leave as slaves leave it's not easy to digest what is the Torah telling us here so now we are selling our daughters as slaves and this is one of the opening which is the first Parish after Martin Terror so Mata entire elastic precious history as the Jewish people received so to speak their mandate the divine revelation is The Ten Commandments and then begins a series of many nuanced and detailed laws dealing with civil relations Civil Justice business transactions including slaves mate servants and this is right there in the beginning is this the protocol for life is this the blueprint the manual of the creator of the world to fathers especially and this is where it becomes even more difficult to understand the lack of sensitivity and empathy cries out because purchase mishpatam Begins the second half of safer shmus you have shmois the book the second book The Book of Exodus the ramban calls it say fragula The Book of redemption the first five portions then you have mishpat and Truman the last six portions the first five in many ways are a story the story of the Jewish people coming down into Egypt the story of the Exile the story of the oppression the story of the torture the persecution the killing the deaths of the newborn babies then Begins the story of redemption and the ten plagues and the Jewish people leave and the splitting of the Sea and the various challenges in the desert and finally yesterday around why were Mount Sinai they receive the tire and afterwards Hashem now begins to share the Mitzvahs the laws of the Torah right really the story ends at the Israel now begins from there's also a lot of stories but it's all intertwined with many laws of Civility civil relations and then trauma Begins the building of the mishkan and that will continue so when you read the first half of practice what is the overarching theme the evil of slavery the terrible predicament that the Hebrews the Jewish people suffered because they were turned into oppressed slaves that is the main theme and that pirate will not get away with it that's the theme pirate thinks he will get away with it says after all there is Justice in the world there is Liberty in the world people are responsible of how they treat other people and you can't just do something because you can because I could be a master therefore I could I'm going to be a master and I quoted just that posseck which which really highlights the sensitivity in the beginning of schmeiss chapter one we're now chapter 20 with the seventh one was the Egyptians embitter their lives with with oppressive labor in mortar and bricks and all of the work in the field but the work was all done in a way of Park they they subjugated them that the Jewish people groaned they moaned from the work by his uku they cried out fatal shavas and their cry reaches Hashem from all their slave labor this is just two examples of tups and here we see the Toyota is trying to bring out the sensitivity and the empathy that has to these oppressed slaves and this becomes the foundation of all ethics the foundation of all human relations in fact I think it's not a mistake to say that probably most maybe even all revolutions that have been conducted throughout history were slaves felt compelled to set themselves free were inspired in one form or another by The Exodus Story the entire movement of abolition of freeing the slaves in the United States in America in the 19th century most of its carriers constantly quoted suck him from Paris the smiles and they compare themselves to Moses to moshabbin who freeing the slaves including not long ago Martin Luther King Jr in the 1950s and 1960s because this really became the foundation of the idea that humans should not be oppressing other humans and every person carved in the image of God is entitled to Liberty and dignity and respect that's the whole theme of the first half of shemites and God intervenes and intervenes once in history to establish that truth suddenly comes okay now you're free so let me give you laws one of the first laws don't forget when you sell your daughter into slavery Nami is this why we got out of material so now I'm going to do it to my own child you see why I told you people don't give a share on these verses but let's learn them together it's Perry khafalaf schmeichosis it's five seconds as usually homage the laws are very brief very sharp very concise it's five percent to cover this this law and I'm just going to tell you each person becomes more difficult than the previous one in the sense of what so let's read it inside and then we're going to try to unravel it is I'm just translating you have the English translation right below the Hebrew so you could follow either when a parent a father or man a parent a man sells a daughter as a slave she shall not go free as other slaves do okay next for success if she proves to be displeasing to her master not good raw means not good bad for her in the eyes of her master Asher your other now here it's interesting because in Hamish you have what's called creative sometimes a word will be written one way pronounced another way okay so here you have a word the way it's written is that's why it's in parentheses the way it's pronounced and explained is Loy with an aleph means to him lie with an aleph means not so it says it sounds the pronunciation is identical but the meaning is opposite means to him lie with an aleph you say neither is means no if her master finds her displeasing I shall lay your other he did not designate her for himself he did not betrothed her then the hefta then he must let her be redeemed from the word he shall not have the right to tell her to Outsiders because he betrayed her next Positas one of the master designates her for his son then he should relate to her according to the practice according to the laws of young women if he takes another woman never withhold her food her clothing or inasa her intimacy if he fails her in all these three ways of she shall Go free without any payment and then the title goes off to another law starts dealing with laws of murder beating people and killing people and calling fatalities and the consequences of that changes the subject completely so here you have classic example of the original Terror five circumstances and when we actually read it inside literally every line creates another question and begs another question and another dilemma besides the emotional discomfort so it's even trying to wrap around wrap our brains around a simple meaning let's go through the words for a moment when a man first person when a man sells his daughter as a ummah as a maid servant or as a slave like them she shouldn't go out like slaves go out what is that supposed to mean though she shouldn't go out so that means she never goes out slaves do go out doesn't mean she goes out in a different way than slaves go out what does it mean it's so ambiguous she shouldn't go out like slaves go out how do slaves go out how does she go out what does this mean is this a leniency is this astringency foreign why would a parent sell a daughter that's a good question that's the first question yeah means go out but here it means go free the word says it means go out but here obviously it means go out in terms of liberation obviously some some contrast from slaves what is that it's very unclear so here you have a law you're telling me a law but very ambiguous next you go to the next verse now if her master finds her displeasing he did not marry her the hevda he has to let her be with him he betrayed her and therefore he should not sell it to somebody else in other words if he does not want to marry her don't think you could sell it to somebody else you betrayed her you can't but one second what does it mean who's talking about marriage here who's talking about mess suddenly there's a sugar going on I don't understand it says a man and we we already don't like this guy right whoever this guy is yeah we don't like him I don't know his name thank God that Terrier doesn't give a name because I I would move ah yeah yeah yeah the Father the father we have issues with the father maybe now we'll soon see maybe we'll redeem him will redeem his daughter and we'll redeem him yes so so suddenly who's talking about Mary he didn't marry her what he asked his father to marry the daughter you said he's the father Soldier as a slave suddenly you find her displeasing because you don't marry her he he purchased it for a complete he purchased it for completely different purpose and then the title says don't sell it to anybody else because you betrayed her why are you calling him maybe the father betrayed her in Hebrew is a traitor right baguette leave God huh a rebel but but means treason they call it treason he betrayed her he he broke Faith he did the wrong thing but one second if there's a law that he's allowed to purchase this girl what do you want from him why are you calling him then we come to the third verse if he designates her for his childhood who's talking about his child so now there's anushida with his son where did that come into the picture and then the trader says follow the law the practices of bonus bonus means girls young women what's that about where is there a practice where is there such a law you see the ambiguity what what is going on here what is this mishpat then he says if he takes another wife so then make sure that she gets her food she gets her clothing and she gets her intimacy what is that talking about and then he says and if you don't do these three things if you fail in which three things then she goes out for free no money so he bought her he paid I don't know what he paid to the father but he paid a hundred thousand dollars half a million dollars whatever the amount is there's three things you have to do and if you don't do these three things she just goes out and you lose all your money so so what happened so he just he gave money and then he didn't do these three things was this part of the condition so this is here's a classic example why Toyota South on its own is almost impossible to decipher here you have classic verses if I'm trying to create a society I'm trying to to understand this I have more questions and answers which is why you'll see in your next Source hagdamas Mission the Ramba considered the greatest codifier in Jewish history who lived in the 12th century he was born 11 35 passed away 1204 the rambam opens up his introduction to his mission of Terror which is the book that compiles all of Alaska with three words Torah came with a perish with a commentary the commentary was not written the commentary was oral in other words when moshirabenu gave the Jewish people text it came with commentary he didn't give text here go learn no he actually gave a lecture and then the text the text summarized the lecture the prescription Rafal Hirsch the great Rabbi of Frankfurt writes that to understand how Terror was given it's the opposite of how we understand it we understand this terrorship itself there's the written Terror and then there's terrorist which is the oral tradition alpe means it was given mouth through the mouth not through text in other words you have a teacher and a student it's a live communication it's not a book and that was a commentary he says really was the opposite taught the Jewish people for 40 years is that what was going on my should have been was called for a reason he was a leader he was a prophet he was a redeemer right he was uh he was he was great in so many areas there Amber says he was he was the ultimate of what a human being could be but he's called rabbenu he's our rep he's our teacher maishirabenu woke up in the morning I don't know how much he slept at night from what was going on in the desert doesn't like he got too much sleep but I'm saying he woke up in the morning the cutscare ever once said that the says by the arcade of vayash what was the necessian of that Hashem told them directly Moses Hashem tells you directly so he says everyone woke up in the morning it means he went to sleep the night before that's how calm he was a very very powerful Insight but my should I may know is teaching that's what he did so he taught the halachas how long did the lecture last I don't know a half an hour an hour a few hours the gomorian Arabian discusses the whole system first he taught his brothers and then he taught his nephews and he taught yahshua binun and the elders and he taught the whole of the Jewish people everybody heard it directly from my shift they wanted to then let's say a four hour lecture or a four day lecture a four week lecture moisture summarized in text in a few succumb so actually the text is a commentary the text is uh is um a summary of the lecture that's where when you read the text you know if you're sitting at a sheer and you love what you're hearing so you take notes but if you take too many notes you're going to lose your train of thought and you're going to miss it so you just do what we call uh what's the word ah yeah Cliff Notes a short summary now you come home and you're like it was an amazing class so whoever is home say your husband say what what let me see your notes look at no I don't see anything here you see one word on the line like six times because he got excited then right one word what's so inspiring and then you'll always say the same thing you had to be there yeah yeah okay so today we have videos Barack Hashem so he could listen on triple speed for the ADHD but triple speed was created for Rabbi why why you know that the mission that says everybody's obligated to say the world was created for me so I say double speech Ripple speeds were created for my classes although I have to say I got one of the greatest compliments ever a little while ago a fellow here Muncie told me he travels every day to Manhattan for a work and he says I dread for 25 years I dread the George Washington Bridge when I go in and when I go out till I started to hear your classes because there's always traffic and thank God you are never brief foreign she says it never happened that the traffic was done and you were finished never you're always mad managed to outsmart the traffic he says once it happened that you were done you were done and uh and the guy I'm sorry I'm sorry the traffic was done and of course you weren't finished and I said to myself you know what I wouldn't mind a little more traffic so I could finish the shifts I was like oh that that's that's a compliment so you'll tell you'll tell you had to be there that's true with hamash when we read Hamish we're reading everything it's not just somebody took Cliff Notes it's the notes that were dictated by Hashem so they have inside every Nuance of what he said but you have to unravel it not just somebody sitting and just summarizing you to the best of their ability it's the ultimate summation and that's why the gamara says in time is about ice there's not a single halach that's not hinted to or alluded to in the text the text is so brilliant because one possible can capture a lecture of a month lectures that are going on for a month so when you read a mishnais and Gomorrah unraveling Allah it's not that it's disconnected the rabbis came up with some ideas to make sense out of it on the contrary they're going back to the lecture of maishina Beno which the text is simply a summation of why is this so important when you have five verses like this you see exactly there's so many gaps without hearing the lecture what did Marsha say I'm filled with gaps once I heard it now I have these five succulents all there so we have to basically go the opposite direction the Jewish people living at the time they heard this year and then they got the text we have the text and from the text we say so what did he say and that was the function of tyreshabalpa whether it's mishnais gemara madrasham and the swarim afterwards yeah that's true itself is also very concise and cryptic and that's why there was the Gomorrah but over there it's a little different because over there it's already mishnais is already very specific fixed laws but there's still so much to left to be said because it is so concise and cryptic and it relied on a very high level of knowledge and intelligence so the next Generations the gemara came and unraveled that text now the gamora's text is very elaborate but yet still remained very cryptic for many so you have commentaries like Rashi and taiswas and other of the great showing them who do that and the conversation continues till today which makes it really what's the point of it it's interactive it's live it's a relationship it's not just you're reading a text and you have it all there it's an ongoing relationship of exploration of creativity there's a partnership in in in between Hashem and the Jewish people so I say this because this is always the sensitivity one must have when they're reading the text of Hamish and many people don't they just go to the text boom this is racism this is bigotry this is child abuse I there's other that condemn all that well probably different authors I don't know we had a bad day whatever it is but it's really the lack of an awareness of how to read the text so that's what we want to do we want to focus on what was the shear behind this text so we don't have a recording of my sharabena's lecture and I'm not gonna have the khutzpah the audaciousness to tell you what my should when he said he's but but with the help of terrorist we can come to many many realizations what is behind all of these verses and then we see a different picture unfolding I'm succumbed that seemed so uh difficult to wrap our brains around for good reason are revealed to be otherwise but in order to do this we first have to understand something about culture it's very important when you understand when you're studying history or the law of History to understand the climate that people lived in we thank God at least I could say about myself and I think some people who grew up in the country I grew up in and the time I grew up don't know what hunger means sure when you go to a hotel and lunch is over if the tea room is not open within five minutes people want to sue the hotel managers because they're starving people are starving like they haven't eaten nine days even though they didn't stop eating macaroons lady fingers kosher pizza or squeezing oranges but there was enough food on pesach whether it's kartoshka or or Schmaltz Herring however you do it checking your sugar not checking your sugar cooking your sugar cooking your salt each home according to its unique pesach experience but Akron shall pay suck at night we're starving we are starving especially for hummus for pizza for pasta for pretzels you have to see in the hotels the attack on the smorgasbord where you can actually eat real hummus because for nine days or for eight days we have been deprived uh yes I'm saying this in humor because we don't understand thank God thank God and I want to tell you something else I think it was around 10 or 15 years ago for the first time in human history that since Adam and khava more people around the world died from obesity than from famine that is unprecedented in almost 6 000 years of History we have to understand that more people died from Coca-Cola I'm nothing against Coca-Cola but the concept of Coca-Cola then from the opposite of malnutrition there are still places in the world with with Hunger unfortunately on children who die for malnutrition but it's probably most mostly because of corruption from governments and the fact that we're not allocating our resources appropriately people always ask me it says in benching is he nurtures the whole world you know how many children today are suffering from malnutrition in Africa well how do you say God nurses the whole world but we know what it says it means God put in the resources into the planet that we should take responsibility to help ourselves and each other when we become narcissistic or corrupt yes people do suffer the point here is how did I get into hunger oh we don't know what hunger is we don't know what hunger is my father told me when he was in the second world war they were in the Soviet Union in Leningrad I don't know if you know the history he says we saw corpses on on everywhere and there wasn't nobody was shot nobody was killed there was a Siege of the Germans and just you know people died like flies simply from starvation and then they ran to a place called Samarkand in Uzbekistan and there too and that's why he would sit at our table and he he could not understand that you don't finish your plate who finishes their plate in America you ever see what happens in restaurants who finishes their plate right he couldn't understand he would finish that plate you know because I asked him mommy made a lot of food for stops too as I he said you have to know how I grew up you have to know what I saw when I was a kid in London grout you didn't see this in Brooklyn in the 21st or 20th century it's important to understand this also this is even in our generation I'm talking about you know 50 60 70 80 years ago and unfortunately you still have some places in the world like this we're talking about hundreds of years ago and thousands of years ago there was no concept of a grocery store there was no concept you coming to a show there's a coffee there's a tea there's a cookie even if you don't eat sugar there's a cookie and then you have time and your neighbors McLeod a nice person right when when Stalin wanted to kill the ukrainians weren't ready to give themselves over to socialism right they just seized the grain and close to more than six million five six million people died in the early late 1920s early 1930s in Ukraine simply famine starvation they were farmers they ate grain there's no grain that's it when you learn a machine is time is when there was no rain how they used to be geyser kindness and like so it's not raining what's the big deal go to the store and buy potato chips people don't understand my field was my source of food I had no other source of food besides my field that was it I couldn't go to neighbors there was no Surplus there was no Nash there was Aid here he lived the Wesley Hills I think his name was Shapiro some of you may have known him he uh he passed away a few years ago I think he was over a hundred and he learned in yeshivas so uh he needed help building a sucker so he called Rabbi Waxman Rabbi a frying Waxman if he could send a few boys from his Yeshiva to help him build a sukkah so Rabbi Waxman sent a few boys to help build the sukkah and they finished and he wanted to give them something so Mr Shapiro gave them some designers put out a little messiness so they ate and they enjoyed it and gave them a drink and then he asked them if he should bring them a sitter to make they said he doesn't have to bring us into Allah he almost fainted he almost fainted he calls with my Waxman they know Allah [Music] and say you know the kids know Allah by heart right wow and and what was the Kiddush of this and then he realized he says he says of course and then he realized the discrepancy he says we ate once a year Purim there was no messages that you make right if you ask somebody to say the whole by heart you do it once in 28 years he said they had the Missouri by heart he was shocked he didn't know right then every Yeshiva you go in and there's a lot a lot of cake right in the beginning maybe there should be cucumbers but for whatever reason till they change it it's cake you come in and you eat the cake and this is you know he grew up in the 20s and the 30s you talk about thousands of years ago it's important very important to understand this I'm saying this because without understanding that the context of these can't be understood so now let's let's actually get into it let's see I was once teaching this and there was somebody who was very very cynical and they said stop selling boats you're going to distort these sukum just say the truth God doesn't care if you take your daughters and you sell them into slavery for life and it's fine because that's how you treat women that's how you treat girls that's how you treat your daughters just say it as is you don't have to make a class out of it to make it sophisticated this guy really had an ax an ax to grind I said listen if you already reached conclusions before the class fine I'm not uh I'm not judging you fine if that's inclusion but if you want to be intellectually honest just take the same partial partial and read through the hopash but read everything and then unless you believe that somebody was pushed completely completely schizophrenic with split personalities and and God forbid had I don't know borderline personality or some other issue if you want to be intellectually honest and consistent you will reconsider your position for example a little later it's a gay Loy silch if there's somebody living in your midst who is a refugee who was a foreigner who had to run away who came from a different Nation don't cause them stress why you know the heart of what it means to be a foreigner to be unwelcome not to feel integrated you know what it's like to be bullied when you're the new kid in the class he gave him a use embarrassment I said what does that sound like what does that sound like this is not your daughter this is not your son this is somebody you don't know but you know the heart and that's a revolution because very often we say hurt people hurt people it's not always true but hurt people often hurt others what was done to me I do to others and here the title is saying it could be otherwise hurt people know how not to hurt people it's a change in that conception my pain can become a catalyst for deeper empathy for deeper compassion that's in the same practice the Saint Patrick's mishbatham says the worst thing that God cares about is taking exploiting a widow or an orphan because an ancient Society they will often protect protect I want to say protectless but that's not a word what's the word unprotected they didn't have the patriarch with the power or the money or the affluence and they were vulnerable to the elements and anybody could exploit the orphan the orphan doesn't have a father who's going to stand up to whoever it is so the title says God says I'm taking responsibility for these people and if they scream and they don't stop screaming I'm going to hear that cry the same person spot them same says that if somebody doesn't have money and they're starving you're obligated to give them your money in case of talvis on it where really again in today's world have extra money I'll throw a couple of dollars in that world I was giving you literally what I need for my kids that's an obligation to practice responsive I said so just realize just as they tell you yeah sell your kids as slaves sure why not your daughter cell has a slave what's there what's a daughter for if not for slavery I said I know it's satisfying your your preconceived notions or maybe some pain or anger you have which I'm not judging you for but you got to be intellectually honest so the rambam and the laws of slaves starts giving us the background of my strabeno's lecture was talking about a specific thing and another question is why is this relevant right in the beginning of mishpatam which right away deals with the laws of the Jews came out of slavery had a lot of money they had all the money from Egypt they had all the money of the red so everybody was affluent they had man nobody had to sell anybody nobody had to sell their daughter right away he goes into these laws and here we'll see something fascinating a normal father doesn't sell his daughter for anything and you don't sell your son you don't sell your daughter it's not what a mother does it's not what a father does that's not what a father and son do and if they do it then they're probably crazy or evil and they're dangerous people and you got to be very very careful and they have to be dealt with completely different the rambam says what about was talking about is a very very tragic and specific case what was this tragic and specific case so let's see the next source of father is forbidden to sell his daughter elim Kane handy he has reached the stage of poverty villain the man has nothing like karka he has no real estate he doesn't own a house or a field or a farm okay you may not own real estate right but you have shoes you have a watch well then they didn't have watches you have a shirt you have a robe you have a tuxedo you have a nice hat the man doesn't own a shirt the man doesn't have an undershirt why is this so important you're talking about a situation that a girl is growing up in a house and she doesn't have breakfast she doesn't have lunch she doesn't have supper she doesn't have something to put up the father doesn't have what to put on the mother doesn't have what to put on in other words you're dealing with a desperate desperate situation now obviously if he has a rich brother in America right the way it used to be he sends a telegram to America and his rich brother redeems him but he doesn't have a rich brother in America he has nothing maybe people lent the money and he didn't have what to pay back so that's all that's gone so you're dealing here with a situation of a girl who's literally starving so now we have an option the option is dignity of women starve to death that's an option there was one other option a very difficult option a tragic what's the option very interesting he comes to a household of somebody who's affluent somebody who has money somebody who has food and somebody who wants help they want help what you would might call a living today right so he says you know what here here's my daughter let her have a house where she could stay and she'll be obligated to stay to make it worthwhile for the person and she can fulfill tasks in the house and receive the needs to be able to live so now what's happening is instead of dying from Hunger instead of thirsty for a cup of for a drink hungry for bread he sells his daughter doesn't mean he sell when we hear the word sell it's very very you know it conjures very negative images especially slavery in the South which makes sense but really the concept is he's putting his daughter and saying here so to speak you'll have her as a daughter and she'll be helping in the house and she gets the sustenance that she needs the parnosis she needs with kindness and with respect now you could say oh so she's a Slave so now she's a slave because she's starving so we're allowed to exploit her into slavery so now we have to come to the next and this is actually explicit in Hamish take a look at the next Source fascinating Allah every Jewish slave or female-made servant this female maidservant but the master has an obligation to make him or her equal with him when it comes to eating and drinking clothing and living accorders it has to be good for him together with you whatever you have he has whatever you have shias whatever your wife has whatever your daughters have she has what does that mean practically don't say I'm gonna eat the better bread I'm a fine Smacker and she can eat past keeper she can eat the regular bread inferior bread you're going to give her a wine but you get ah the 200 bottle wine you get the eye in your son old good wine she can drink new wine it's fine you go to the wine store you give her a mascotti bartonura a new bottle of wine what are you complaining I like that better than the other ones but but I'm terrible with that so I'm not a connoisseur you will sleep on his soft pillows with feathers and he could sleep on the straw at the Derby crack a little bit far you live in the big city and you put her in a village or the other way at the big five you're in the suburb you know you ran away to Rockland County and she has to stay in Brooklyn with the traffic foreign they go out from you they're living with you from here the sages concluded if you acquire this young man or this young woman as a slave what you really just acquired was a master that's you kawhiate a master which is a very humorous way of saying be careful with a Jewish employee right you're not high some of you know this you're not hiring an employee you're not you're hiring you're hiring a master but in in sincere Allah terms what they're saying is this girl that you bought to help out in the house just realize if there's one piece of chicken for dinner right she's the one who gets it you don't get it right if there's one uh Sushi uh roll one sushi roll yeah and everybody else is eating I don't know smashed potato from last circus helped us our uh whatever stuffed cabbage from last circus she's getting the sushi you can eat the calipers from last circus you go to the freezer hopefully the sushi is good the sushi is bad then you eat it then you give her the better food but that's a fascinating Allah so when we right away say sell as a slave and we're thinking about what happened in the south here in the United States of America which was quite horrific tragic and sad it's so important to understand this halacha yes she's going to be working for you yes she has obligations yes you're giving her a bed you're feeding her you're taking care of her all her needs are going to be met with dignity the alternative was a poor girl starving literally day in and day out if she's ill nobody will take care of her if she dies she dies here you are fully responsible for everything that this young woman needs okay now now you could say why do this go collect stalker go to go to this go to China a lot of people come in Click say a lot of people say that my daughter needs food [Music] obviously here again if it's a situation where a father can support his family you don't sell you're not alone that's what the Rama was saying the man does not have a shirt now also you go collect you may not be successful maybe people have given you enough money maybe tomorrow other people are going to have a crisis you won't have who to collect here you're really creating the security unfortunately that she can't be in her house but you're creating a security for this girl who now has a place but let's now take it one step further and this is where we see this subtle shift with marriage and again it's very important for us not to judge Things based on 2023 after five thousand thousands of years of progress there's a huge debate in America it's the debate is going on very very many years already from the early days recent years it has taken on different tones and that's the famous whether you're the Republican party or the Democratic Party now without getting into the Personalities in the Republican or Democratic Party I want to discuss for a moment the two hashcafas the two perspectives of let's call it the more Republican approach and the more democratic approach when it comes to inequality and poverty Winston Churchill who was a smart man and a courageous man and in 1940 when all of Europe fell to Hitler he was the one one literally last Bastion who said no we will fight we will fight on the beaches we will fight on the land we will fight in the ear we will fight and fight and fight and never give up and literally was the resistance to Hitler before Roosevelt and America joined the war he once said something cute but profound he said socialism uh capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth socialism is the equal distribution of misery of misery of misery he was of course describing what was happening in Russia's Soviet Union in his day when Lenin Stalin Trotsky built the Communist Party took over the Soviet Union and in the name of paradise created a living Purgatory on Earth or as animal farm would say it we're all equal but some of us are more equal than others very good you did your Orwell well or well well okay but we have a problem if you look around America there's rich people there aren't poor people there are very rich people and there are very poor people and this is part of the history of human civilization from the beginning of time the Toyota speaks about it maybe there comes a time where there's nobody poor but usually in society there is an onion and an Evian and that's why we all have in our in our in our in our constitution we have sadaka are not voluntary they're obligatory it's like a imposed taxation on a person who creates Revenue Baruch Hashem that part of that money I give to the poor but this is a gen this is a general dilemma how do you deal with it socialism and communism tried to handle it in a very radical way nobody has anything which theoretically seemed wonderful you don't have I don't have we live in a kibbutz there's one car and it goes to the person who needs it you have 10 kids you get 10 colors I have one I'll get one color no jealousy but somehow the Soviet experiment was one of the worst experiments yes 40 50 million people dead for beginners I had two parents both of my parents grew up in the Soviet Union so we grew up on stories of what life was like in the Soviet Union but millions of people were enthralled by it it sounded gevaldic equality equality equality you don't have I don't have the problem is who does have the state who owns the state oh he got to be a real Saint and a real Sonic when Stalin owns the state you're in trouble besides the fact even if a saintly guy owns it it takes away creativity if if I cannot generate anything that's mine takes away creativity so it's not it's not it's a model that is is very idealistic it didn't work it didn't work but now you have even within America which is a society that cherishes ownership I do make my own money and it's mine that's true it's consistent with Judaism you're allowed to own your house and it's your house you're allowed to own your car and it's your car you got to own your clothes and it's your clothes I have to get stuck it but there's also ownership we have Allah and zela of theft we don't say it all belongs to God and you're not allowed to own it it belongs to God but he gave it to you that you're allowed on I'm not going to take it from you unless I buy it from you you give a gift it to me but generally when it comes to the question of poverty we see a disparity and two perspectives and I'm going to do it in a very general way because I know there's a lot of specifics and details the Democratic approach on the Republican approach Democratic approaches raise taxes and distribute more money to the poor to the unprivileged to the homeless to the people are struggling you have to give them what they call equal equal opportunity and not just equal opportunity you have to give them an equal standing and you were blessed with more money so pay more taxes and distribute more wealth to those who are less privileged than you come the conservatives the conservative party so to speak and they say everybody has equal opportunity in the United States they already have equal opportunity let them work hard yes I have to pay taxes yes we should help the unprivileged yes we should help the sick but everybody has equal opportunity in America you know how my father started when he came from Ireland I don't mean my father didn't come from Ireland he came from somewhere else but you'll hear every radio talk show host who's who's a conservative talk about how their father came and how he built himself up and he worked nights and he paid himself through college and that's why I'm a millionaire today and he got into Medical School everybody has opportunity in America there's no racism there's no systemized bigotry don't cancel me and therefore why should I be taken advantage of and take more money because you're sitting on your couch and you're not working and you're quitting school you're not ready to get a degree work hard like I worked hard like my father worked hard make money and therefore the conservatives argue with the Democrats and they say it's not fair they do have equal opportunity they can work and work and climb the ladder now I know both perspectives get people very very upset the first perspective gets one group of people upside the second perspective gets another group of people upset and so forth here is the problem the reason there is such a debate is because the system is a complicated one because the truth is we do have a system where everybody could work we do have a system where everyone has an opportunity to go make money theoretically I could become tomorrow a multi-billionaire but the fact is that sociology and culture and family and education have a lot to do with it yes theoretically I can get a degree I can reach any space like many immigrants and refugees did and it's amazing and who knows that better than Jews Holocaust Survivors who came here and had a nickel in one pocket and a penny in another packet they came with six cents onto Ellis Island right and none of us who grew up in their homes or the homes of our grandparents ever realized what how they transformed themselves and it came through a lot of hard work sweat Blood and Tears on a physical level besides all of the other emotional psychological and spiritual work so that's true that's true and Jews have been beneficiaries of that opportunity that we had in order to flex our muscles work hard build communities build families build beautiful cities Moises and institutions but let's face it if I come from a wealthy family right my grandparents vacation on Martha's Vineyard every summer they're sending me to Harvard University right sixty thousand dollars a year seventy thousand dollars a year you thought Yeshiva was bad thank God you have to send your son to Harvard huh it's more than 50 a year really you're sending somebody to Harvard he got a scholarship Hashem thank God how much is it really oh wow okay thank God my son doesn't want to go to Harvard [Laughter] okay so right so this family this family sent their son to Harvard University over there who is he going to be networking with he's going to be networking with people that come from a similar bracket similar Financial brackets similar families they're all going to become Executives and companies that their father or grandfather found even if they're going to start off they have connections they have they could call up in 20 years from now each of them could pick up a phone to 20 people or 40 people who are with them in Harvard University when they were 21 or 19 years old each one worth in the millions and millions and therefore I have investors I have a support group I have life boats yeah you have all this connection the gamara has an expression and because it says the poor get poorer and the rich got richer Buster and the use bastard poverty follows the poor richness follows reason Mario says it and by becoming connection with the rich people when they brought bikurim they brought their baskets to the coin with the new fruits they came in silver or gold baskets so they gave the first to the client and they took back their baskets but the poor people they came with the Wicker uh wicker baskets you know so they gave it to coyanoso so they came home without anything the Gamora says the poor get poor the rich get rich so it's very nice to say we have equal opportunity and I can theoretically get any job and if I work hard and I stay up at night I'll get scholarship maybe and that happens but in reality so much is based and we know it in our own communities it's based on and demographics right and social standing and the fact is that you know the Republicans have a point right I should distribute and distribute more work hard but the Democrats say come on you know that this person came from a family it was a broken family there's no money in the family what type of college is he getting into there's no father at home whatever it is all these things contribute amazingly and profoundly to the inequality what's the real Gap what's the ultimate tick on for this what's the ultimate repair for this the ultimate repair for this is not to tell rich people just give money more and more and more and more because that perpetuates the inequality part of it is yes part that's something but a major part of fixing this is but ultimately demographics and different groups from different brackets and social and financial status is start mixing with each other and become integrated with each other that's why in Jewish Community the idea of a shul and a community is so important you have to understand an ancient world on Shabbos you can have on the same bench a master and a Slave think about in the South think about it in the south on Shabbos the master got revealed and the slave got hamishi at the kiddish at the kid until today it's fascinating I look at it sometimes you know I'll go into Martha's Vineyard I want an appointment with with Bezos or or mosque or Bill Gates you know it's hard to get into these people right you come Shabbos yeah you see in a shoe right here now there's a guy who's worth four billion dollars he's eating Herring and he's fighting with the Heron about the Herring with another guy because there's one piece of jalapeno herring he's worth three billion dollars you understand this guy is a Schnatter he doesn't know how he's paying tuition they're about to shut off his telephone electricity Monday morning thank God it's a holiday so he gets till Tuesday morning this guy his thing is he's jealous of somebody else who just bought the company for 10 billion dollars and he didn't have an investor he only had nine but they're fighting for the same piece of herring and then they get into an argument about the rabbi sermon but that's a fascinating thing because in the Yeshiva you have both of their children sitting together on shoppers they're both starving you know then they're arguing about the same person we take these things for granted but they shouldn't be taken for granted because this is ultimately where people not only have dignity but there's also a mixing there's a humanness you get to know me I get to know you you know he may come from a different type of family but this kid is a smart kid I'm taking him into my company and you know what I don't mind if he marries my nephew I'm gonna if she marries my nephew I'm gonna tell my sister tonight okay she should looking for her daughter to this kid okay they won't have what to pay for Seven Brothers but you know what it's going to be a good shooter the fact the fact that you had these opportunities these things had to be created they don't happen naturally they don't happen naturally in in a gentile world that doesn't focus on community which by the Jewish people is so so vital and important all these interactions that are outside of your financial bracket there's some things where there's of course differences I remember I once had to come somewhere to lecture it was a very wealthy group of people everybody came with private planes then after schlep two days in airports because it was some fireplace you understand it didn't feel so good they were coming to hear me but I had to slap like a schlepper fight for my seat and wait in the airport for 11 hours and these guys landed okay it's also part of life for that we have therapists the best tick on we can do for a society is when families mix when a girl who grew up in a family that doesn't have a piece of bread at home and she gets married to a wealthy affluent family in the ancient world Everything Changes first of all the whole perspective changes her future changes her parents already have different types of makutanam suddenly the seven brackets together besides the pictures and the arguments and the debates who gets and so forth but it creates a whole different dynamic in the real world this is what actually changed things changes things for the better now her brother is already right a brother-in-law with another family now this we take all this for granted because it happens every day but it happens every day because of certain laws that were instituted so now we come to the next step of this law and this is very fascinating here there's a father who doesn't own a shirt remember it's not that he doesn't own real estate it's not that he doesn't have a leased cars he can't go anywhere the man can't affords because this is not a jacket you can live without a jacket he doesn't have an undershirt he doesn't have undo he doesn't have a pair of socks don't have a look so she doesn't have a pair of shoes you're talking about Rags homeless within homeless and he has a daughter so the Toyota says you have permission to give her a seller you could take money she'll be in the house of affluence get everything she needs she'll work there remember she has to be treated like a master whatever the owner gets and whatever his wife gets she gets that yes but the Toyota says that's not enough it's not enough that is not enough you would think it's not so bad that it's not such a bad arrangement in a world where you could easily starve and where a big percent of society died every year from pandemics plagues infectious diseases violence and starvation those were the three main causes of death that probably 15 20 percent of society died from those three causes when we say in our prayers avinu Deva virov told Corona we read it okay this is not my issue I got all the issues you know my son needs a that my daughter needs this Corona we woke up a little bit but this is serious Kali Devar diverse infectious diseases pandemics care of his sword raw of hunger people woke up in the morning not knowing will I have what to eat will I be able to feed my kids today it's not what we think about when we wake up in the morning we think about other stuff that make us stressful anxiety is still here five thousand years later the reason for anxiety is not that my refrigerator is empty I know your kid says your refrigerator is empty but you and I know that your refrigerator is not empty okay we know that that was not my anxiety when I wake up at six or seven in the morning but this girl was experiencing this so you would think you gave her a house yes she has to stay there it was a sale there was a transaction that's enough the trader says no Loy said [Applause] she should not go out like the regular slave what does this mean what this means is don't think it's a regular transaction she's going to work for this person remember working for this person means she's being treated like a master but still she's going to work for this person and then one day she'll go out like a slave that was not dubbed I don't want her to go out like slaves go out so what do you want you want her to stay there forever she has to be there forever what if she wants to leave one day that's not fear aha so here we have to listen to what my sharabana was saying there always has to be a second agenda a hidden agenda here what's the hidden agenda the father likes this guy the father really likes this guy not just he has a couple of dollars he's a good guy he's a young fellow or whatever his age it's not the age here is not so important about the guy but the point is there's potential for something much more dramatic for my girl she has her potential not just to be fed for a couple of years or a couple of months she has potential here for a whole different future which I could not provide for her I can't even make a because I can't pay for a wedding forget about Allah forget about helping them with an apartment forget about getting her a gown I got nothing I'm looking for an undershirt for me again that's why it's hard for us to understand it and we're turning it into humor but if I'm in that position it's far far from funny so the Titus says the only way a father can do this is if he looks at this fellow and says you know what there's something special there's a future here perhaps from my daughter maybe not with him but I like his boy he has a 16 year old right that's a good kid and you know what it's a great family and borrow Hashem they have paranosa this would be amazing for my daughter in other words then she'll never have to leave the house she's going to become the matriarch lies that means shall always remain enslaved she won't have to leave because from a maidservant she's going to become the wife she's going to become either his or his sons that has to be part of the agenda it's not just enough you gave her a place she has a bed she has food what's not close to better than death that's stage one we're not underestimating that but stage two is is there a real potential here which was the ultimate dignity for this person that she's not just being fed a wife is not fed by your husband and if a husband tells that to a wife you know send them to me you're not fed by your husband it's a partnership as much as your husband does for you you do for your husband and usually we're not going to talk about who does more you'll figure it out it's a partnership there's a relationship it's it's Oneness it's like two halves of one soul so she's not going to be a woman who's a nebuch case who I'm taking care of but you have to you know help cook for Shoppers or clean up the dishes fine I get that a living this is not a living anymore she is the life of the party a living means she lives in my house and I'm going to treat her very nice and as we learned in Alaska you got to treat her like a master that means I'm not allowed to have a better mattress I just want you to realize this some of us have livers but you still have a better mattress in this case you're not allowed to have a better if there's a good mattress she gets it if there's a good coat the mink coat you know the mink coat goes through I don't know how to say this nicely it goes to this slave when people use the word slavery impartialism you have to be careful yet a Slave and his One tennis bracelet and she wants jewelry it's not so passionate it's incredible still the title says that's not enough you know why because she's still a poor recipient of your grace there has to be something much deeper can we really overcome the brackets of the demographic split of the disparity of inequality by marriage that changes the chess game completely that changes a family it transforms the dynamic it's not anymore you're the rich I'm the poor I pay taxes send them to the poor people no no no I'm bringing you in we're becoming one everything changes for this family a family that was in the abyss suddenly his makutan you know is is a Mr billionaire so therefore the Toyota add something else and that is the Master's obviously going to have that they're both going to have to want but if the girl wants and the master wants or his son wants and the father sees the potential in that we don't know that it's going to happen only then is he allowed to go through with us so now let's see the next step that's fatally we don't want her to go out we wanted to stay because she's not a slave she's going to come up with a woman of the house why should she leave her son his son may be her husband he may be your husband that's gonna be your house comes the Titan says what happens if he doesn't see her in that light you know she may be a wonderful asset in the house but he doesn't feel that this is this should be his wife that's shot I shall lawyer and therefore he doesn't want to go into you he doesn't want to betroth her so the Titus says don't sell her to somebody else because you betrayed her so the question is I asked where did he betray her he didn't do anything wrong he bought her but the answer is this is called betrayal what was the Betrayal betrayal is if there's no potentiality for marriage that's called betrayal even though it's not his fault he's not obligated to marry this girl and his son is not obligated but that's called bigida why I gave you I gave you five years of food come on I gave you everything I was a nice I thought not a nice person it's called betrayal it's called betrayal even though she came from the from the from the from the from the project she came from nowhere it's called betrayal not betrayal I did something wrong not betrayal I was mean I wasn't mean betrayal because at the end of the day she is the maidservant working for me and I'm the master don't think you could now sell or you paid you paid a half a million dollars right you don't want to marry give it to somebody else no no that's over why because there's no marriage and look it says we read it we'll soon see why because when you buy her it has to be with this condition so what happens now you don't want to marry her the hevda the heaven means you have to help her redeem herself what does it mean help her redeem herself meaning any option she has to go free you have to assist so for example if I bought this girl to help me in the house you can't buy her for good it doesn't work like that it's basically really the word is instead of slavery it should be cold it's really like a lease it's a contract for let's say for six years I bought it for six years for a hundred and twenty thousand dollars she worked one year I see my son is not going to marry her I'm not gonna marry her right so now I paid 120 000 for six years so how much is that each year twenty thousand dollars now one year she worked so what do I do you get exactly so you give him back give him back his money not the twenty thousand because she worked from one year giving back a hundred thousand dollars and he has to Let It Go free he can't say uh I bought for six years there's no marriage fine but any attempt to help her go free have to go free remember the father got a hundred and twenty thousand dollars hopefully he invested it hopefully after a year he has a couple of dollars the hevda the father says give her back because I paid 20 I paid 120 give me back my hundred thousand dollars which I paid for for six years twenty thousand dollars I lose because I already got that for the first year that's called the heaven that's the second here there's no potential for marriage don't think you could sell or you betrayed her because you didn't marry even though you're not obligated now you have to assist the Redemption you can't say a deal is a deal I paid for six years tough luck this is a girl if she wants to go gesund to hate the father has to give you back the money of course comes the next case maybe not for him but maybe his son and maybe that's what the father saw in this family that's fine because the son could marry her but so important remember she came in as a maid she came in as a living don't treat her that way she has to be seen as a regular young woman who is getting married don't say you're a maiden doing you a favor I'm marrying you no no no no yes she came into work you saved her from the from the streets true but if you're married or your son is married it's a regular girl that you brought into marriage she's like a daughter it's not a specific law this law that law that law it's a general perspective you're your daughter the way your daughter you want your daughter to be treated if she gets married to another family you could think she came in as a maid I'm marrying a maid you're not marrying a maid you're marrying a wife somebody once came to a rabbi and he says I don't like my marriage Rabbi says what happened he said I thought I'm getting a BMW and I realized I ended up with a Buick you remember the Buicks the rabbi said you know what your problem is you thought you're marrying a car not a wife now here I want to show you the subtleties of Jewish law anybody who would hear this people get a little queasy because they don't get it and I want you to take a look at the next source this is one two three four five sixth Source from the bottom they call Kate said Mitzvah if the son or the owner wants to marry this girl what happens how do they do it remember she's in the house already she worked a year two years what happened what do you do okay he says in front of two witnesses the maximum time this girl could work in the house is six years impossible to hold her another day I don't care how poor she is I don't care how much food you gave I don't care how much money you gave her after six years she gotta go but there's one option you can get married so he says even at the end of six years before in others in a few hours the six years are over the father or the son that saysly but one second don't we give a ring you remember your Hopper somebody put a ring right what a notes he doesn't have to give her anything wow why not we never have such a thing if you want to betray the woman you have to give her something a dollar a ring it has to be something that's worth money our men against mazel tov I assume they also use the tabas by you that's what we use a ring why not ain't no chocolate doesn't come why listen to this new the original Money that this man gave the father to buy her as a living that was given for kadushan so let's see I want you to think about this come on this this is like you're buying a living you gave money for conditions and now you're not giving the girl anything she was born as a living right an employee to be there six years and she has to be there you paid a lot of money to her father and she was purchased and now she's working here after six years your son is older and they like each other and it's wonderful they don't have to go out for dates because they're living in the same house right so the dating happens in the living room okay so it works for all the communities nobody has to go out and it's working fine so what happens the boy goes over to it there's two witnesses we do it fast it's a cheap wedding you are my wife he doesn't give her anything I mean don't worry he's going to be paying you know in different ways Hashem will give gifts and gifts and gifts and gifts but the kiddushan doesn't why she says the original Money six years ago was for the marriage the money that the father got on her behalf the father got because of her that was for condition what is the Allah trying to say the luck is trying to say something very deep when you marry her after six years you can say six years she was a mate and now she became my wife when did you when did when did that money go to be makadisher six years ago so retroactively the first six years are redefined instead of calling it servitude or slavery or even a living employee it's like she was a spouse from the beginning so the moment she came in even though you didn't marry her and you're not obligated you're not obligated if I bring a girl to my house and I'm paying for everything I'm not obligated to marry her I'm not obligated to give my son to marry her but when you decide to do that and they both agreed it's not from now it's from the first moment when the father took the money for her this was kedushan money it wasn't revealed for six years but when it happens the six years are redefined she was a wife for six years she wasn't a maid for six years that's how sensitive the tide is and I want you to look at this girl and say she's my wife but you know our relationship is really one of uh I'm the successful one her father's neighbor um that Sadiq I took her in and you know what she's a she's a pretty good girl I gave it to my son that's not the approach the moment she came in she came in as a princess the moment she came in she came in as a daughter-in-law the moment she came in she came in as an aristocrat as royalty but that's not true yes that money is not considered money for her work it's considered money for her marriage it's not the month but it wasn't Allah says that's what it is and how do we see you don't have to give her any money now she already got it her father got it because that money was for condition it wasn't money for work it was money that you give a woman for marriage when I give a ring to my wife under the it's not because of the future laundry she's gonna do so here's a ring for a thousand paint you in advance for breakfast lunch dinner and do me a favor add a croissant and no sugar in the coffee no Splendor either and here is a ring and by the way here is a diamond ring in the you could room right for the extra stuff you're gonna do make sure when you press the shirts smooth a little bit that's not what you give him that's not what you're giving a ring for it's her ring it's not for work so the money you gave this father wasn't for her work it was for her marriage of course so you're talking about two people who are really you're talking about a father who may who who is the kindest person in the world he would do anything for his daughter and unfortunately he's in a very difficult situation and this is it and his question is what's the most compassionate thing I can do for my daughter I could schlep her with me from door to door and beg which is not the right thing for a girl so the Titus says this is a possible Arrangement but how often does this happen in society especially in our society where there's a Mitzvah of sadaka where you have to give 10 percent of your Revenue where there's a Mitzvah on the Jewish Community to support the homeless and to support the poor and to support widows support orphan and that's why in every Jewish Community from Martin Taylor there is sadaka funds and it was an obligation it's about voluntary it's doctor is not voluntary it's a doctor doesn't mean charity in in Hebrew it's DACA means Justice in the Christian translation King James Bible to doctors charity charity means I'm charity means Justice part of the money Hashem gives me is to be able to share part of it is for me and my needs part of it is share you give 10 you give 20 every person but minimum Meister so how often does this happen and when there was a poor person who didn't have food it was an obligation on the community to give them food so this was not a mice there's a girl who doesn't have khala doesn't have a piece of bread doesn't have an undershirt doesn't have a shoes but it can happen so right after Martin Taylor Maisha says this is what we're going to discuss why are we going to discuss this it's not 10 of society not five percent of society it may not even be one percent it's not one in a hundred could be one in a thousand could be one in ten thousand could be one in in a Million but the point is this is the person we want to think about right after Martin Tyler you would think why don't you talk about practical stuff who's selling their girl you have to be a Michigan and if you're not a meshugana which means you really don't have anything it's very rare there's no cousin in the world who can help you no brother no father no mother no sister nobody nobody can help with this girl you have to sell her this is a desperate situation we we still we all know we still have situations today we have somebody there's literally nobody there for them right the family is just completely disintegrated and that's when strangers come in and rescue the situation they're they're they exist they're rear but they exist Unfortunately today it's not so rare because of different Dynamics but the point is this is the Allah because he wants to talk about he wants to tell the Jewish people I want you to think about that girl right after Monday I want you to think about that he said well that girl doesn't exist she exists you think about her so now now comes the last bus secured okay I married her the son married her we're treating her like a girl the money that we gave was marriage money it was an employee money it wasn't work but you know what still those were days because of the fact that they're always more women than men because of the fact that women unfortunately in ancient Society Judaism had to change the whole dynamic of how you treat women in the ancient Society right men believed I own my children I own my spouse and in terms of protection and in terms of payment women were very very vulnerable so if a woman wants people think it's forces now luckily if a woman wants she can agree to marry a man who has another wife until revenge and prohibited it which was called polygamy so a person says you know what she'll be my wife but let's remember she was a maid so she'll be a little subservient to my real wife if you're going to take a second wife you make sure that this woman who came in as an employee to work her food her clothes and even her intimacy which represents the relationship nothing is diminished from her dignity in other words she has to feel like a regular spouse and if these three things are not done she goes out no money what is that talking about which three things now we know number one you decided she's not for you number two you decided she's not for your son or your son decided she's not for him number three the father or her didn't have any money to redeem her the father or her didn't have any money they can't give him back the hundred thousand dollars so now what happens now there's already no reason for her to be there if you're not marrying her the son is not marrying her the father can't redeem her so you get back your money now there's no reason now essentially Let Her Go a girl needs to have her dignity even though you're a wonderful man and you gave her so much but the question is when when does she go out for free when a day later like you have to have some limit here again it's so ambiguous I did pay 120 000 bucks like I just throw it in the garbage because the next day you say she goes out it's it's again it's a very very ambiguous system how long okay I'm gonna let her go I'm not going to take back a cent no problem the father I don't know what he did with his money that I gave him whatever he did what he did he's a real schlemazel he lost that money too whatever happened I paid money and what if the guy says you know what I'm thinking about marriage and he's waiting 10 years I mean my son is thinking about Mount is there a time limit so here is what hazal come in and tell us about pan says till the time that a girl at that time used to usually get married which was called a naira a naira is usually at the age of 12 years old which was in the ancient times very common age where a girl would get married so at that point she has to go free which means which means once a girl is 12 none of this applies so you could understand the desperateness of the situation you're talking about a seven-year-old girl an eight-year-old girl a ten-year-old girl 11 you're not talking about a 25 year old young woman you're talking about a little baby right that has nothing you understand so the father says you know what let her work in the kitchen she'll help cook she's a good tomato and feed her and that's what happens Titus says only if there's a real potential here for the future now you may marry her your son may marry her if not let him give you back the money and let her go but if none of this can happen then the moment she reaches the age of naira which is usual age of marriage and you decided your son decided it's not for you are you bought her a year ago or six months ago that's it that's it there's no potential for marriage even though they're not giving back any money obviously you have to plan this when you do it you don't want to just throw out a half a million dollars of the moment she's ready to get married and you don't want to take her another thing is after six years meaning if she was bought potentially at the age of five or at the age of six there's no Jewish servant or maidservant who can work for more than six years not a male not a female six years is always the end so therefore even if she was four or five after six years she's free or when she becomes 12 she's free even if it was less than six years or if there was like six years it's another option of six years would you believe everybody went free or she redeemed herself or you married her your son married her and then she doesn't have to redeem herself because she uh she becomes the matriarch she becomes a woman in the family so what do we see from here we're talking about a case what was the lecture of moisturabeno the father doesn't have a penny to his name the man doesn't have a shirt to wear as the rambam says he wants her first of all to live but he also wants her to have a bright future not only a bright future and somebody to help her but also perhaps something that can drastically change her entire trajectory and her entire family and their entire family that is what the Toyota is talking about and that weird situation was addressing how we look out for this girl without without making believe that nobody's allowed to have any money Toyota doesn't believe taking away all his money and giving it to him because that doesn't help that creates the equal distribution of nobody having anything we're not going to help homeless by everybody giving away their house and I don't have a house I'm homeless so you give me your household I take your house you want to you want a way that the home you want a way the homeless should have a house but those who have a home should also have a house that's the Brilliance here that's a very subtle it's very easy to say give away your house thank you and now what am I supposed to do I'll give you a place in the basement ultimately you want to look for tick when you want to look for repair this is real take on you're giving her a home you're giving her a new home it becomes her house and it changes everything in terms of the demographic the bracket the social status the financial status Etc if not help her redeem herself or when she reaches the age of a wedding anayra 12 she goes free or the egg or the or the end of six years now here we come to the last point with which we're going to finish and that is as we learned many many times every Mitzvah has a parallel in the spiritual emotional world this is no exception when you take a look at the zoyar you see the Zoya says it's a whole different story it's a whole different story and suddenly we'll see how the halacha the technical and the spiritual parallel each other in a beautiful and very meaningful way so take a look desire this is almost the one two three four fifth Choice from the battle Zaya parishes H is referring to Hashem his daughter is referring to the soul of a Jew the Inon every Jew is called like an only daughter what does this mean Hashem sells the soul of the jewel of Amma as a maidservant what does this means so desire delves into this briefly and then the grandson of the balatanya as I say foreign he explains this on a spiritual psychological and emotional level and I'm going to do this very briefly is Hashem every soul is called bus like a daughter a child an only child Hashem loves every Jew more than apparent loves an only child who was born at a time when they didn't think they'll be able to have children in other words there's a tremendous empathy sensitivity and affection [Music] and yet there comes a time that the soul beta is sold and she goes out of his house and goes into another house and the idea is this is really the nashama coming down into physical embodiment and it goes into a new home suddenly the home is the body the Earthly world and here the name changes from a daughter it becomes an Amma what's the difference between a child and somebody who works at my house a child you never say you know she wants a raise you know maybe I'll give it to my friend your child wants a raise you say you know what go to another family the relationship of a parent and a child is intrinsic it's one when you take your child home you don't say you know if you behave you'll stay and if not we'll give you up for adoption we're going to find a nice family that's not what parents do unless it's a very desperate situation like our situation you have situations where the parents are not functional where they're starving with their not healthy where a mother can't take care of kids and then unfortunately you have to change things but it's not what we choose a child is intrinsically connected to parents enough to create the connection that's who we're one when I hire somebody to work for me they're essentially somebody else it's a person that have their own life they have their own family they have their own needs that's what an umbers that's what a living is she may be living by me but it's not biologically they're not biologically connected and therefore they may choose to leave after a year they're going to go to another house I can't unchoose my parents even if I have some struggles with people have struggles with the parents these are your parents got to work it through one way or another before it comes down then the Soul experiences itself as completely one with the Divine one with infinity when the soul comes into the body it can experience itself as now on ummah it doesn't feel necessarily its intrinsic Oneness with ain't safe because it's experienced itself as independent as autonomous and what happens here it could also feel sold when I sell something it goes out of my property out of my domain in other words I experience a sense of separateness a sense of Independence even a sense of loneliness and that's part of the reality of a soul in this world that feels lonely we say somebody sold me I sold you it basically means it went out of my property went out of my domain that is the experience that the soul can have in this world there is a little sense of loneliness a sense of pain the soul doesn't necessarily experience fully and consciously it's Oneness with Hashem with the ain't safe with infinity and when the soul comes into the body and it can feel estranged and alien from the source like the posix says in parishes mishpatam later you look at the donkey of your enemy and it's crouching under its burden and you don't want to help it says is the same letters like means the material when you look at your material self sonaka could look like it's an enemy of the Soul it's crouching under its burden the donkey doesn't want to move it's too heavy the body says I don't want the burden of godliness I don't want the burden of Toyota I don't want the burden of your shamaim I don't need the burden of justice and morality and sensitivity and love and Transcendence and working on myself I don't need it the donkey says I want to just chill forever so you say I want to abandon I'm done with my body that was the approach that people had more of even mortifications I want to reject my body which is an enemy to the soul so now the soul went into this new household and it's feeling this strange but it's feeling alien it's now embodied by a new master suddenly the body I gotta eat breakfast now is lunch now is dinner nap I gotta go to sleep I need vacation it's a whole new house a whole new household the body has its own needs its own issues comes the Titan says the purpose of this was not that the soul should be tortured in a foreign home and always be seen as a slave who one day will go free well the ultimate Vision here is there should be a marriage there should be a unity and that's what the possibility is don't abandon the donkey help the Donkey you see the donkey it's your enemy's donkey if I see my enemies let's call it a car flat tire today it's called a flat tire then it was a donkey who crouched under its burden and it's my enemy I don't like him go okay don't call me but then they were not so you have to be the kaverim M I have to go help the donkey because it's my enemy's donkey but the donkey is suffering says the balchem it's also talking about your own donkey we all have a donkey we all have a hammer of the lettuce so then the navi Daniel Skye says how is mashiach going to come on she doesn't come riding on a donkey I want to ask you today's world we can't give us a nice car everybody's driving nice cars everybody's going on private jets mashiach can't get one nobody in Lakewood and Muncie and Williamsburg and uh it's a circle get my Sheikh was a nice car he's gonna have to come on a donkey nobody can give him an adava foreign not the spite of the body through the body when the soul is sent down to Amma it's not a sentence of torture go into a stranger's house hopefully your body will be half decent to you and we'll give you a couple of a couple of meals the real potential is marriage your other for him for his son what does it mean married to the National and the gulf will become one because a marriage is that a husband and a wife are not just living together like in a Yeshiva dormitory he does his thing she does her she does her thing I know it happens sometimes [Music] but the real ideas for how you'll bust her they merge they merge into Oneness so that's the ultimate license it's not just one day she's gonna say leave me alone get me out of this place I'm an avid get me out of him and she becomes emancipated that's one vision of life that's a vision of Life a soul that comes into a body and is tortured and feels oppressed and feels like a slave and does the best its can and the moment can fly away the ultimate vision is that the body can become an equal partner to the nisham that the two become one and integrated like a married couple and each one contributes something very precious because the ultimate vision of Yiddish guide was not to oppress the donkey to crush the donkey to tell the donkey you're a lazy bad fellow it's to sublimate to realize the Divine potentiality in this household for the soul yes there's situations where sometimes that doesn't work and you have to redeem yourself there's an issue of six years there's an issue of a narrator these are all different methods but the tactless that the title is saying is that the husband and the body the husband the body and the Soul could become like a wife and a husband the citizens was like the soul and Sorrows like the goof the body and the Hashem whatever Surah tells you should listen to her and the question is if so represents the gulf we're always told don't listen to your goof but the gamara says about the bastard that the others lived a mashiach life Hashem gave them like and in the world of redemption you listen to your body because the body is not an enemy the body is a best friend there was a time in certain stages in history where you have to control your body and discipline your body and you have to control and discipline your body but the body is seeing almost like an enemy and the ultimate take on the body is your best friend your body your body has this a lot of wisdom we know today more and more the value of what the body contains the wisdom of the body the depth of the body the intensity the the powerful spirituality in the body and the nervous system and all parts of the body the brain and the entire nervous system with body and all of the organs and limbs every aspect of the body the Goof it has an inherent kadusha in fact it says inspiring that when mashiach comes the soul is going to be nurtured through the goof today the body is nurtured through food and it gets direction from the soul then the innate Holiness of the body is going to be revealed it's going to become a mashpia [Music] to the Goof to the nashama so the nashama is both the husband and the wife and Asia that's what ye that's what yield is and in fact that's the idea so it says in zair means when slaves leave their Master's house they usually want to run away for good reason like what happened in America in the south she says when the Jewish people were in Egypt they went out like them they ran like we learned a few weeks ago they ran away Parish so they ran away it says when mashiach comes it's going to be relaxed you're not going to rush it says because it's going to be with integration the Goof is going to be part of it I don't have to run I don't have to run away from certain parts of myself all parts of myself will be connected there was a great town with the khasra of the balatanya his name was of Hillel paratur so he said I when I was young I thought that the body is a disgusting thing that I have to reject and it's the source of all evil it's the source of all spiritual problems he says then he learned from the balatanya that it says in your sources from my flesh I will perceive God that the body is actually a mirror for Hashem from my flesh exactly calcium he said suddenly I have a new their parents I have a new a new respect for the goof so that's what about shamtev said don't crush the donkey my Lift It Up Lift It Up sometimes sometimes the gophin and hashama have dissonance because a person sometimes there's an alienation yeah and you tell them bias but the ultimate purpose is yield the ultimate the ultimate purpose is the integration the marriage the synthesis and that's why your second last Source the magnet of Ms Rich wrote a letter to the sun above in Yiddish is a small hole in the body could be a big hole in the salt in other words something it's warm my body is suffering ignore it he said that sometimes a big hole the body is very in tuned with the soul so if the body is telling me something I have to listen to it Sora is speaking don't ignore sorrow sorry is the Goof don't desire said sorry is the Goof you have to listen to it because the ultimate purpose of creation was not the separation the ultimate purpose was to reveal the harmony between the material and the spiritual Between Heaven and Earth between Consciousness and embodiment between soul and body to the point that they're one like the Apostle says and there should be no separation between them that ultimately the nashama and the Goof experience full synthesis which is the whole concept of Islam a time when the body experiences same eternity like the soul and even the bodies that already died because of the ultimate unity between the nashama and the Guff amen have a wonderful week next week we're on 9 30 a.m have a beautiful week a grocer mazel tov welcome